The Gwinnett herald. (Lawrenceville, Ga.) 1885-1897, May 19, 1885, Image 1

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TIT.M'AV KVKMSfI. kS»'»- KAT, ' >: *1.60 - K, -GO ■ ■. ti ' ns must i«> paid '*> ■ 1 h,lr « h,’.-. u.'n, and 50,• ■sfejisis-,... be i iiiirgi'd for Bs»r adverted rate. ■iff" i -v ('(iiiinniiiica ■^r; l«t>ral Directory. I H sin 9 .J u ' l^^ up /- ourt ' RlckTk n»P- Cuult - Burakm. Ordinary. HvObr, S her in. Hrßrnwn, Treasurer. Collot ‘ ,orr ■ Hifeti. Surveyor. ■ Coroner. ■ ■L'ce Chairman and Clerk, N ■ jj.; Cloud, J. U llopKine. An ■ ftURD or EOL'CATION. _ ■ l inn School Cnminwioner J. ■ I’atilio, .J. Webb ■Li 'T K. "’inn. JUSTICES. ■.. vile, 407th diet—'V. C, ■jjl, Adair. .N.lMstFn. ■j, e 405 dW—T, W. Andrews ■btries McKinney, N !'• drd 31G dist-W. I>- Simms thorn. N. I’. drd Sat- ■ m k. 12!)5diet-W. J Baggett I' jlcKlvaney, N l’- Ist Sat ■ ji)«tb,W— l- M, Arnold. J, ■f \isli. X. l\‘2nd Saturday ■k'jVinddiet- A. Adams. J. !’ S |> , Urd Saturday K 1263 did- WF. Brewer. J Herts N 1*- Thnr-day be ■ Saturday. _ . . ■,i n ' B 47Sdist O. L. L bight ■ j W. Hamilton, N. P. ■ay before Ist Saturday. t —A. L ■n. .1 P. W. L. Andrews, ■ 4>h Saturday. ■m5,544 diet' Asa Wright, Hj R. Nowell, N T . P- 4tU ■lay. ■creer, 40<i —W. R Simpson, ■j. A. Martin, N. I’. Friday ■ 3rd Saturday. Kk bridge, 571 dist —A. J. ■j.J.P., E. J. Mason, N. P. Hiturd&y. Hjiuce. lllltli dist —'J'. N. ■ j.P., A 0. Harris, N. P. Haturduv. ■rl 550th dis —T. C. Bur ■ p., J. M. Poaev, N. P Fii ■furedrd Saturday ■ ICMCIPAL. ■ c. Smith, Mayor. H COUNCIL. HUoore K 1) Herrin S A Townley ■ DRPARTI:KK OK TRAIN Hwfroin Suwannee. 5 50 p. m Hit lor Suwannee, 7 a- m. Hill. ASD DSPAKI UK OK »AU> —Arrives 12 m, d:piru Hloodiy and Thursday. BteSroas. Departs G a m ar ■put,Monday and Thursday. Hutuu. —Ai rives 1(1 a m, de ■ ; m.—Daily. Hm Rivkr.— Art iveg 12 in., de- Hiim„\Vcii,ceduy tiiid .Saturday ■ W. I). lIAItVKY, I’. 4 M CHURCHES B*-BevJ L R Barrett, pastor Hsmr; Sunday ■liDiiT—Rev Ml l Turner I’ustor ■m Snow..- A T I’attillo, Supt ut 3 pm \--R. ■, J F McClelland, 111 2nd and 4th Snndnva B month, Bn iiofu..—T R Rowell. Supt B Snnday at 9.3 U a uv ■ fbatkrnai.. B r -*'i r v:u.* Masonic Loihik.—J M., 8 A llagood, 8 W„ Meets on Tuesday B* 11 "r heloi t lull moon in each ■uson Chapter , No !(:>, R A ■Dspfnce, H J>, A '| Pattillo ■w* Friday nigh* before the ■"I io each month. Si'pkrior Court --N. L. ■“‘'Judge. Convenes on the Ist -March and September. pIFsmX Ht iTeentlv located in win ■ I m” 11 ''!'■T* ''i" professions Hit, l .. l > -s ' l 'in , i to the citizens ■Offl m °! lto . !,| l ~,l|l s will lie B; residence a; the resi Hu # ,|, 0,1 ,lu ’ Hurricane K J "1‘1881 -6mo liIORE EYEGLASSES * Schell's ■ Eye Salve |b"'’'' 11 "- ly for l <: <» IlUvB HjmJnllr •*'! 1 '‘--111. mid It,. K, ' , tlicoM | )P- Granulation, H P U q-wk 1(? f #ihl per > uanenf * "Io n HS-.I t. e> llr * 1 us IMrcrw I B" r wh,'i r "; Riicum ■Hh'„ 1 ‘Otluimimiiun nay he unci 11 -to-th ut- w, i„ t :i, “ i X *<S l . rsl kl, .d »nd of lout ~. h << * 1 '' lAK ul; tbl. dIHtH sl jfHg * '—r.o . fork. TILBK M. I'EEPLES, Propriety r VOL XV. EDITORIAL BREVITIES. The Afghan fro ops will probably be fed on Khanned goods. Blind people cannot be carpen ters because they never saw . For countuy editors kufiering from dyspepsia, a physician recom. mends patent insides. Respect for Royalty seems to be reclining in England when an b’ng glish p iper will cooly refer to “Rill the^Third. A cynical old bachelor says that “lovers are like armies ; tbev get along well enough till the engage ment begins.’’ Philadelphia newspaper corres pondents are about organizing a club. The badge of tbe new or ganization is to bo a cherry tree and a hatchet. The fact that the new minister is called ‘professor’’ does not ueces sarily iudicite that he is propric tor of a skating rink. ‘Pa, how funny this looks iu this paper. The printer has got the words the word.-, all mixed, so there is no sense iu it.’ “No, no, my chf'd; that is a new poem by Tennyson.” “Heaven bless you,” said .John Henry; “it was the prettiest fight you ever saw. She punched away at the ivorv keys like mad. ana the pianosforte uobly ” A paper has been started in Memphis oeantig the primitive title of Adam. Of course if is is sued in tho Eve ning, ana it is al so Adam poor newspaper. If your neighbor’s dog injures one of your chickens you can cols feet damages. If he injures on e of your children you caunot. Mur ral: Ra : se chickens. “Minnie has been to see me to day,” seid a little five-year olde “and she oehaved like a lady.” “I bone you did too,” said her moth er. “Yes. indeed I did; I turned somersets for her rn the bed.” An attempt was made a short time ago tc rmuggle whiskey into /owa in tin prayer books, bin the. very fact of an lowa man carrying a volume of that Kind arroused suspicion. In Paiugouia they tine a man two goats for killing his wife The law is very strict on the sub ject, too, and if the fine isn’t promp tly paid he iB compelled to marry again. That makes him hustle around for the goats. The day is drawing r ear when the industrious blue-bottle fly sit, on the window sill and impa tiently inquire if dinner isn’t al - ready. Three prominent citizens of Dwight, Illinois, lost thei wives by elopement the rthe day and the 1 cal paper heads an account of the affair, “Glory enough for one day. Among tho improvements notic ed >v a Western paper is tha men tion that “our friend Shaw has sei out two shade trees in fr ont of the house he cheated his moth er out yf. Ar Indiana law’ student was caught in the act of vigorously ars going an imaginary cases before a saw-horse and tweUre sticks of cord word, the latter representing the jurors and the former the Judge, //e “allowed” that he never, ap pealed to a more iD'e'ligeut jury nor ever argued before a more.im partial Judge. “What do you think ?” said Cla ra ; “tnat hoind Tom Brown pro posed to me last evening. He hummered and hawed a long tiruo bii' finually spunked up courage to ask for my hand.’ “And what did you say, dear?” asked Della “Say Wby, 1 told Him j could’nt be so cruel as to berden him with a third baud, when he didn’t know what lo do with the two ue had already— the awkward booby !” A Sunday school teacher asked a little girl of her class if she had been bap lined “Yes, said the little girl, “two times.” “Two times! Why, how could that be?” exclaimed the teacher “It didn t take the first time,” said the little girl. Weak eyes Oikinnctf THE TWO GATES. A pilgrim once (no runs an ancient tale)' Old, worn, and spent, crept down a shadowed vale : On either hand rose mountains hleuk and high; Chill was the gusty air, and dark the sky: The path was l ugged, and his feet were bare: His faded cheek was seamed by pain ntid care; His heavy eyes upon the ground were cast. And every stept seemed teenier than the last. The va’Jey ended where a naked rock Rose sheer from earth to heaven, as if to mock The pilgrim who had crept that toil some way, but while hie dim and wciuy eyes ea • say, To find nn outlet in the mountain side A ponderous sculptured brazen door he spied And tottering toward it with fast failing breath. Above the portal reud, "the gate OF HEATH." He could not stay his feet, that led thereto: It yielded to his touch, and passing through, He came i to a world all bright and fair: Blue were the heavens, and balmy the air; Aid low! the blood of youth was in his veins, And he was clad iu robes that held no stains Of his long pilgrimage. Amazed, 1, turned Bel,old ! a golden door behind him burned In that fail sunlight and his wonder ing rj es. Now lustivfiil audclear as those new skies. Free f r <>m the mists of age, care and strife. Above the portal read “Thf gate of life.” TOM ALLEN'S COURT SHIP. Winifred was a aainty bit of womankind—a sunbeam—who laughed as much as a linnet sings; iuoreo7er there were dimples lurking in her rose tinted cheeks- She was well worth loving, al though not an angel, for if she had been she ceriainly would not have been a woman, yet she cer tainly was a thief. A thief! Stealing hearts by the wholesale But she who so loved <o coquette with hearts was at lust taken cap tive ; for love conquered the mer l ies*, and most mischeyioas maiden who ever laughe J at bis wiles, and love came to Winifred, now siniN pie und delicious. No two love niakiugs happen in just in the same way, as no two leaves are alike on the same tree. One day it happened that two gray eyes looked into hers, the merest accident of course. t'Wiunifred ?” brkl die owner of them suddenly. It was the first time that he had called her by nev first name, and tliere was something in the look of those gray eyes whiih sent the warm Mood to her cheeks and caused a tumult of emotion— it seemed to her like the finding of a bunch ot violets in midwin- ter. • “He loves me,” she thought, with a thrill of delight quite un like former experience. •Winifred,” he said tenderly “you ate very dear to me. ’ “I have loved you devotedly al 1 these years,” and he waited for a reply. “And—l—love —you. —Tom — but— “Oh ! let there he no bnte. You will love me 1 Winnie darling, let who will oppose, will you not T” “Y«s, Tom—till I die,” she said, her face oil aglow with eagerness. Then she paused abruptly. Now Tom was only a clerk, with nothiug but his salary to depend upon rich with nothing hut hones ty and good humor while her lath er w’as wealthy. “I feai my father will not favor our love,” she continued witu some dmbarrassmenl ; but I ought to choose for myself—it is my right. The gray eyes had softened for the first time in ''is life Tom had told her and had found the telling pleasant. He iold her too that he bad not much to offer. Would she be content with an humble hone shared with a loyal heart — with love instead of luxury ? “Yes, she wou.d be -‘quite con OUR OWN 6ECTION-WE LABOR FOR ITS ADVANCEMENT LAWRENC-EVILLE, GA. MAY 19 1886. tent. For a time these two sai with clasped hands in a dreamy silence Winwieis heait was full to the brim—tLe tell tale color on her checks—the confnsion of her eyes were u'.ierances more potent than words. Then tuere ensued a quiet, ra tional talk about their prospers and the best way io “manage father.” Thomas Lane was a successful mercanl—blessed with n full anil pleuty—yet he had a vexztioD. It was one trouble of his life how to snub aud circumv nt a brother merchant not meanly and mali ciously, but good humoredlly. Josiah Wrighth, with a deg iu thomanger disposition had always be n jealous of his old friei.d and neighbor’s exemplary prosperity, and he had kept up a series of ve ty annoyances agaist Thomas Lsue. That day Mr. Lane had heard some disparaging remark made by “old Joshua,” as be was won< to oall him. and te was brooding over It's chair in his private office when Tom his confidential clerk and rigqt hand man unexpectedly eu* tered. “Glad you come, Tom,” he ex claimed, “for I’m just a hit lonely- Been up to tho house, but could stao ; daughters gone for the sea son to nunt Mercy ’s ; mean ;o take a run down there myself next week aud, Tom, now that I think of it, you nnt run up to Sarat ga—m my expen-ej ive noticed that you’ve betn mopish of late, and it will drive awaj the blues to be among gay people. I don’t like to >-ee out of sorts.” “You are very kind, sir,” Tom rep'ied. "Poob, pooh ! Nothing of the son. It’s ample justice. Come come don’t look so dismal. Is anything going wrong! .Just as likoly as not some pretty damsel has captured your heart.” Ana the bindly natured mereh ant rubbed his hands togeihei gleefully, and glanced inqiiiiingn ly at his favorife clerk, who stood looking consciaus and sheepish, twisting Lib fingers nervously. “Well, sir, ’ he replied, "1 believe that is just the tronb'e ” A prolonged whistle and a mer ry twinkle io his eyes expressed the merchants astonishment for after all it was but a random guess. “And so yon want to marry ind settle down in life and have your salary taised boy ?” “Yes, sir; toat’s about i! ” “A little bird told me, you sly dog. that you are lookiug after Mur jorie Wright. She’s a pretty girl and worth a plum or two. You coulun’t do better, Tom.” ' “But, sir, my dear girl’s father is opposed to me. Why, I’m oniy a poor clerk and, she is an heir> ess.” “Opposed! Is he? I should like to know what objection he has to you ? You love the girl “IPith all my heart sir.” “Abo she loves you r ‘ “Devotedly.” “Then, with love in the home and old Josiah's money to run it, it might do. Yes, yes; it would be admirable.” And ilie old gentleman laughed heartily at the idea, and then he inquired wha; he meant to do about it. “1 must wait until her father consents, I suppose,’ replied Tom ruefully. “But what do you ad vise me to do sir?” “E«? Aliy, I know what I’d do if I were young like you and loved a pretty girl I’d try to win her in spite of all the fathers iu the* world. If she is willing to take me, 7’d brave the old mau’a dis pleasure and ruu off and get mai h ried. ” “Bu*. my dear Mr. Lane, I tear he wou/d never forgive his daugh ter, and 'hat would break her Heart.” “Pooh, pooh ! Girls hearts are not so easily broken as you imag ine. What fun it will be to have old Josiah fret and fame and then come iouad right—as he will, iny boy, uevor fear. No, do, Tom you go ahead, and I’ll furnish all die money you need, and if the old man is cross with pretty Marjorie _ THE I'll bet that neither of you starve, if it’s only to spite old cm .nild geon. “Oh, thank you sir With your permission, then, I will try 'o win her ’’ “All light, my boy. 1 don’t for get that 1 was once young; and mind when the knot is tied fast you can come to my Louse at d have it all ‘o yourselves until old Josiah sends .'or you.” “We’l, Mr. Lene, I’ll accept yonr kind oft’er and go to Saratoga for a few daysaidTom as he smiling ly (est the office. “Too tame by half—hut the yotiDg men now a days have very little spiri',’’ muttered the mer chant, as he started for hissolioary home. Three days later, Mr. Lane had occasion to change his opinion of Tom's tameness, for he received an unexpected letter. Foalunately he was alpue— there was no one to witness the mingled feelings of astonishment and ebagaiu he experienced while reading it. “Saratoga. “D"ar sir—Yuli were misinform ed iu legat'd to Miss Marjorie Wiight, for I have never thougnt of her us a wife. It is yonr daugb Wiunifred whom 1 have loved ever since I came to you, a mere boy. Winnie and I were married this morning, and we shall be the haps piest couple in the United States w'lbr. we receive you.i for giving welcome. Aunt Mercy aeompa nied us here, and now we are anx iously waiting tc heur from you- Your grateful son, Tom Allen. “Sold ! and no mistake,” exclaim ed Mr. Lane, half angiily. "But what’3 the use? Tom is a good fellow—sharp too —sharp as a nea die good business talent, ha! ha! and better, yes incomparably bet ter than the rest of the danglers ; and Winnie—little puss—she loves him," and then there came to hi' heart fur oti memories of the girl’s dead mother; aud brushing away a tear, worth more than any dia mond he possessed, he snatched a pee and Ims ily penned the follow ing : “My grateful son is a scamp ! But I forgive you, Tom, notwith standing, for if Winnie finds some ihing iu you to lave, ;ou can’t be so very wicked. But, ray boy, the tables are turned you know, and it won’t do to let old Josiah crow over us 'l’ll run up to Saratoga and we’ll all come Home together, ami he will be none the wiser. Hs lam oppose! to my daughter’s hus b ind being a poor clerk, I shall take measures at once to make you my partner. Henceforth the firm will be known ns Lane and Allen. Yum affectionate father, Thomas Lane.” Tom and Winuifred might as well uavo asked and obtained the old gentleman’s consent; but then young people must have their ro mance. Young Blabbitt has been mak ing calls at statted intervals for some time. Last Sunday night he called as usual, and after waiting an hour in the parlor the girl’s lntle brodier came in and in a rather sheepish manner asked to see Blabbitt’s nose. “See my nose ! ’ exclaimed Blab. Hit'. “What do you want to see my nose for?” “Well, Plummer Plunkit*. was over last night aud Maria promised to marry him and ma said she thought you’d find yourmose out of joint when yon calle 1 again.” Bub—Are yon going to be my new papa Accepted suitor—Yes, my dear child. Have you got x our wig yet ? Wig? Why, no; I don’t need a wig. Why do you ?” “My other papa always said he was so thankful that his hair wasn't fast to him. ’Phila, Call.— Theie are twenty four gambling houses in Paris, in which between $R0,000,000 an 1 $85,000,000 has been los* during the last five years. The minimum profits of the hanks in the club are pnt down at $1,200 daily. The avers age income of the bankers is $20,- 000 per annum limli JEFF DAVIS' IDEA OF THE DOST CAUSE. A Chicago gentleman being de (ained for a on a recent excursion to New Orleans l>_y a non connec tion of trains at a station near Dean voir, the residence of ©/.-Con federate President Jefl'trson J>avis, ‘‘oncluded he would walk over and make him a cdl. He was very pleasantly received in a line max aion overlooking the Gulf nod commanding a splendid view- This mansion, it will be recollected, was the gift of a lady admiter of Mr. Davis on account of his services and sacrifices in the cause of the South. Our t.'hioago friend did not exactly interview the ex-Presi dent, hut evidently asked him a good many question upon a public matters, to which replies were pleasantly and cheerfully gi»on. One of the most important things said by Mr. Davit was, perhaps, in relatiou to his present position in regard to the “lost cause.” He said he had been misunderstood it. this respect. When he remarked in a public speech that the cause was rot lost, but would be recov ered. ho did not by any means ini *ply that there would be another war; that was impossible. The Soiuh was too impoverished tu resort 10 anything of the kind; besides it bad no disposition or intention to do so. He meant siniuly that the “lost causa” of the rebelliou would revive again in tue fuller acknowledgement of State sovereignly; that the Union was i compact between the inde pendent and sovereign States. This, he thought, would be th® final outcome of the civil war, it having recalled the attention of the people to the original princi ples upon which the government is based. Mr. Davis remarked (hat, he wat poor, and as an evi dence of it Mrs, Davis, when she came to invite them to dinner, ex custd herself for not appearing earlier by saying that she had to do her own work. Our Chicagoan evidently felt somewhat re ieved in his mind by the interview with the ex-I'resipent, who concluded the courtesies of the day by driv ing him over to the sta'ion. A CRUSHED BORE. On a west bound Mighigan Cnn tral train the other day were a delicate appearing young woman and an intelligent young man, evi dently i usband a wile.lmmediate- I) behind the couple sat the man —lo be found on every train— who would die if not permitod to hear the Bound of his own voice at all limes atid in a>l places. The young lady had a troublesome, cough, a fact wbi h seemed to bother tho talking naebiue behind greatly. At last he leaned forward tyid addressed her escort: “That gal’s got a bad cough.” “Yes,” “liver try catnip tea ?” “She basj’t drank anything else (or more than two hundred years. She caught a severe cold in Jerusa' lem, in 1088. I had fifty barrels of catnip tea put into the baggage car for her use betweer here and. Chicago.” Pause. “No, bunion. That's purely a bunion cough, you will notice, if you watch her closely.” ‘ Ant the draught from that window a leetle strong ?" after a lohger pause. “No, she has to have it. it takes 15,000 pounds of air to make her a respectable breath! We have a patent oreatb incubator ai home which she uses at home. It covers 17,000 aeres of valuab/e, land.” ‘Did you say she was your wife T” “No, I didn’t say anything o the sort. She's one of these new fashioned infernal machines that I’m tiking over to Euglaud to blow up the queen. The only trouble is that I’m suLiect to fils and when I get one of them I break up things terribly !” /What biings them on you?’’ “Talking! Why, it was only yesterday that I killed three men, a woman and a pen of twins be fore I could be got under control. I feel very queer about the head pow. I—” “I reckou I’ll go into the smok* JOHN T. WILSON. .In,, Publisher in’ car.” said the core, sidling out of the seat. “7 don’t fe 1 very well myself!" “Don ut htiriy awsy !" shouted the young man, while a general lifter ran throug ihe car. HOW TOWNS SPUING UP. .i ■ The following story of an engi neer on a \\ cs'.ern railway shows how fast the country <s growing' We do not hold ourselves respon sible for the truth of the Kory, but ;do iot hesitate to say that it is “not much of a story,” compared with that lold by the Western man who makes an effort : “One day I was driving my en gine over the prairie at the rate of forty miles an hour, without a house in sight, and supposing the near est town to be thirty miles distant But as I glanced ahead I was as tonished to see that 1 was ap v pro aching a large city. I rubbed my eyes, thinking it was a mir age. “Jim, says 1 to tho liremun, “what’s this placef’ “Blamed if I know!” says Jim, starting out of the cab. “I de clare, if there ain’t a new town giown up here wince we went over the line yesterday. ‘I believe you are right Jim. “Ring the bell or we shall run ever somebody!” So 1 slowed up and w < pulled into u’lorge depot where more’u 500 people were waiting to see ihe first train come into the place. The conductor yearned the name of the town, put it down on the schedule and we went on. “Jim.” says I, as we pullel out, >*keep your eyes open for n«w towns. First thing you know we ll be runnin’ by some rdrunge place. “That’s so,” says Jim. ‘And hadn’t we be'/er git one of the piskenmn to watch out on the rear platform for towns that spring up after the engine gets by?"—Ptovi dence News. I‘KOPLE AND GOSSIP. —English papers annoucce that Mr. Henry Irving’s last tiip to America netted him *150,000, —David Dudley Field thinks 250 students as many as can be properly educated in one college —Charles Longfe low, the son of the poet, is about Ic start upon a journey around the world. —Hon. Levi P. Morton will re sume the bank business in New York on Ins return from France. —Senator Kvarts -ays he does not wa*.t to bo the republican can didate for (/overtor of New York. --Cornelius Vanderbilt has two hopeful sons who edit a monthly juvenile paper,called the Comet. —Mr. Win. J. Florence, the cauiediua, has uuurned from his fishing excursion in Southern was tars. —Seuator Stanford is engineer ing anew Pacific coast telegraph line it opposition to the Western Union. —Mrs. Hancock, wife of the Geneaal, has returned from her lengthy stay in tL > South, greatly raproved in health. —Mrs. Burnett, the daughter es Jameß Bussell Lowell, will pre side over his home ufter his return to America. —G .vernor Hill, of New York, who desires to succeed hMuself, is announced to be the favored can didate of Mr Til len - Col. Walter Clarke, of Ral eigh, has accepted tb < a[ point meut to the judgeship of the fourla circuit of North Carolina. —The latest wrinkle in fashions able divorce in New York is to have the decree, engrossed on parchment and signed by the judge. —.The widow Barrios had the the reputation of being the nosi beautiful g'rl in Gautamaula when the General stole her from a con vent Aenaror Sherman will start from Ohio next week on a trip to the Pacific Coast, with Puget Souad a »d San Francisco as objective points. —The first English woman to reach the degree of Master of Arts is Miss Mar T 0. Dawes G WTNNE'I T HER ALT), OUR •K> n nepa ff i ,}j tXT 18 COMPLETE. ■ A TjI. ORDERS FOR /' / (yO ■ y- NEATLY AND PROMPTLY EXECU 'I EI), Knlcrcil in the Post Ofllce at Law rencevllle, tin., ns sceoml class mull matter. NO 10 WIT AND WISDOM lam a king when I rnl i mv self. Idle brend is the most dangerous 1 1 all that is eaten. The lirst bluebird will soon be chasing lie last snowflake. The Topeka Capital calls “Nic colini a son of oyster Patti.” If we s ill love those we lose, can we altogether lost those we love? It is difficult to tell how much a fish will 'veigli by looking at the scales- We have some cases of the pride of learning, but a multitude of the pride of ignorance. Ihe speaker gives back lo his hearers iu a rain what he has ie ooived from them in a mist. What dooa it take lo make a good husband? Paradoxical as it may seem,a good woman. Professor “Give me an ex ample of a liignly compressible solid.” B.—“ 7’he—female form. “Light.,” said Schellirg, is the thought of nature." Yes. and thought is die light of nature. In t 1 e education of children love is first t .be instilled, mid out of love obedience is to be educuted. Strike from mankind the prin ciple of faith, and men would have no more history than a flock of sheep. The Egyptiou bondholders are beginning to wish fora lit tie mote teal profit, and not so much false prophet. Where ihere is no Christian Sabbath there is no Christian mi r ulity: and without this free institu turns cannot long be sustained. He saved, anil lie Hiivod, and lie saved Kconmnicat, go d Mr, Buzbaud: And when lie had got all he craved, It went to hi- wife’s seoonc hus band, 1/ is a shame fora rich Christian man to bo like a Christinas box that receives all, and nothing can lio got out of it till it is broken in pieces. It is not giving that makers (aitpers. It is giving without por-otml ncqui&ntanco ami liking which does that. Gifts come quite natural between friends, be they rich or poor. Though God has promised al ways to guide his inquiring chil dren in the way tha. is right, he has uowhere promised to make this way n,w right to their friends or toighbors or even to tiiems selves. “A title cun be bought in Eu rope for 8500.” Mrs. Mackav’s Juugther wus probably not aware of this fact. Bhe paid a million dollars for u title, and urns obliged lo take with it an encumbrance in the shape of a husband. Tuo wrowing good ot the world is partly depeudand on unhi-loric acts; ud that things are net so ill with you and me as they might have been, is naif owing to the number who lived faithfully a bids den l.fe and rest in unvisoed tombs. t A lady iu the St. Paul commu.% nity says she has one of the beer husLunks imaginable during a thundei storm. .- he says ’ e will 1g anything she wants as long as the storm mats out tie changes very quickly when it passe* over. * Wflat amused me most at the opera,” sai l an Arab chief who had been t iken to hear “Faust,” “was one of the musicians in ihe orche— ra, who performed on an invisible instrument with a sbek,” “Can you give me a definition of nothing?” inquired a sohoo teacher. “Yrs, muta It's a Imughole without abaraell around it, shout-d little Ted Saunders, whose father is a cooper. So 'ong as vouug men can live without working, and bo long as society looks upon workingmen as not. respectable or tit to become husbands of societies daughters, so long will the world be filled widi idle amiole loafers and worth** Stale joku < like stale beer do not go down with a relist—but the vendea enjoys it all the same. Russia baa ordered, a number of small printing presses from New York to be shipped to Afghani* l ! ;au.