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tT Short and newsy oommuuiea
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lieited*
General iirtetiry.
CIVIL GOVERNMENT-
N. L. Hutchins. Judge Sap. Court.
1) T Caiu. Clerk Sup. Court,
T luimkin. Ordinary.
W. P. Cosby, Sheriff.
W. K. Brown, Treasurer.
U. W. Andrews, Tax Beceiver.
N V eruer, Tax Collectorr
R. N. Maffeti, Surveyor.
, H. Wilson, Coroner.
OOUXTT COMMISSIONERS.
J. D Spence, Chairman and Clerk, N
Beoaett, K Cloud, J. K Hopsius, An
drew Garner.
•CARD Of EDUCATION.
T. E. Winn. School Oomiuieeioner J
D.e,, T- Patillo, .J. Webb
.K T K. Wißu.
MUNICIPAL.
John C. Smith, Mayor.
COUNCIL.
L Moore, K D Herrin S T ownley
W Brown
RBIVAL AND DKPARTUR* OP TRAIN
a rrives from Suwannee. 5.50 p. ■
Leaves for Sii wannee, 7 a- m.
ARRIVAL AND ÜBI'ARTURB OP M AILS.-
Jpfperson—Arrives 12 m, de parts
p. m., Monday and Thursday.
Traolks Stork.— Departs 6 a nsr
rives g p ui, Monday and Thursday.
looanville.— Arrives 10 a m. de
parts 1 p ro.— Daily.
Yellow Rivkr. —Arrives 12 m., de
parts 6 a ni„Weiueßday and Saturday
W. U. UaRVKY, P. to
CHURCHES
Baptist--Rev L R Barrett, pastor
Birvices every Sunday.
Mkthokist —Rev M D Turner Pastor
Services on (be Ist and 2nd Sundays.
• Sunday School. — A T Pattillo, Supt
Kverry Sunday at 3 p in
Yrksbytkeian--Rev F MeClelland,
Pmior, Services on 2nd ud4tb Sundays
n each month,
Sunday School. —T R Powell. Supt
Kvery Sunday at 9.30 a nr
PRATKRNAL.
Lawrknckville Masonic Lod«R.—J
I) Spence W M., S A Hagood, S W,
BJ, Winn, W. Meets on Tuesday
eight on or befoi e full moon iu each
month.
Mt Vernon Chapter, No 89, R A
M.—J D Spence, H P, A T Pattillo
Bec. Meets Friday night before the
S/d Sunday in each month.
Gwinnett Superior Court. —N. L,
Hutchins, udge. Convenes ob the Ist
Monday in March and September.
1 ■ i u » "■ws—qPwH-
Fltoli,• it 'iu t> t
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
GAINESVILLE, GA.
Will practice in tbis and adjoining
circuits, and the Suureme Conn, of *•>«
mute, ousini-ss intrusted to his care
»iil receive prompt attention.
20-lyl-
E. S. V. BRIAN!,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Logangrille, a.
All business eutruted to his
care will receive prompt attention.
Collections a specialty.
Apr.l4-ly _____
j, A,mm.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
NORCROSN, GA.
Will practise in the Superior Court*
and courts of Ordinary of the couu-
I ties of Gwinnett and Milton, and in
I the Helices’ court of both oounties
I Special and prompt attention given
I to collecting.
Fel>-tl-’BS-gmo.
(3 burn ham:
improved
Jt- STAND’O turbine
jjsaatjtJ Is the best constn ted
I V WiSt. and finished, give bet
I ter percentage, i ore
wliiffifllL V ower and 7s so l for
I Y* -1 * W less money per liorse
I * -- vl power, than ane other
I ™*' Turbine in the world
phlet sent free by
M. BROS ~ York. P
It L 8. .IBS,
14 "'’hitehal' Street
„ , ATLANTA, A.
k) e, Kar, Throat and Nom Disease
P |,| 'i*ly. july7-tf
fcr_ :: —,
iliADm A 1 i HJt,
Palace Market.
ten Fish, Sin
in
CELERY.
i T. DOHBHOO, 9 ALIBI HI (X.
Atlanta, Or.
SSO Reward
Stolen from the undersigned
ol Hhe 29th inst. a large fight bay
■houte colored, horse mult,
‘bout fournteen years old, heavy
tn,l j e and tail, and very heavy
Lc, k knot on right nde near the
aß trib. siripee aronnd bis lege
on Lis shoulder and back,
er y “Inggiah in his movements.
rew ard of fifty do/lars will be
paid for tho mule and thief or
*enty fi ve f or mn 2 e on jy
r, J/aby Lanoley,
let. 1885. Duluth, G«.
Mew Firm.
‘ 8 Srreby Riven that I have
In'; B *soc:*ted with as partne:s in
fcv 0/ crcant 'lc business in Lawreneeville
Rr,Ki. M ' "11 Robinson and NS.
if!, r souf ou arifl the business wII bere
,, Ue conducted under the firm name
S A> IUJHIXSON & SONS
W
.. P keep in stock a full liue of
| Confections and Fancy
> »ad will do a general barter bus
■oid w« offer our stock cheap for
W'tea Oive us a trial.
K N ROBINSON A SONS.
Lawrsnoevllle Ua
(fittimuK tWa grail.
PYLE R M. PEEPLES, Proprietor.
VOL XV.
GENERAL news.
President Cleveland is worth
about 11100,000.
It is rumored tha‘ Mahone will
take charge of another railroad.
Brooklyn and Chicago are both
growing aapilly. Brooklyn now
claims 665,000 inhabitants, and
Chicago 660,000,
Pig iron has advanced $1 per
ton at all iron points. That indi
cates the return cf solid prosperi
iy. Iron is a pretty good bus!-,
ness barometer.
A Berl n surgeon lately took
out a quantity of dead bone from
a man's arm Immediately after
ward he amputated the leg of an
tther man for an mjury. Then
he took a large piece of bone from
the amputated leg and put it iu
the place of the dead boue of th e
am. The boue became firmly at
tached, and so the surgeon made
a very successful operation.
A Georgia muu has a hen that
is thirty years old.
Paris is less populous by 115,-
000 than it was four years ago.
The South Carolina Legislature
last week refused to pass a geners
al local option bill.
Neal Cleveland, a nephew to
the President, has been appointed
to a revenue gangership at Cleve.
and, Ohio.
3eorge IPolf, a fanner of Mel
rose, near Lon.-inburg, New Yoik>
recently sold his wife to Augustus
Ran, hi s hired man, for $2.
The Congressman who fights
the silver dollar will find Jordan
a haid road to travel down in
Dixie.
Gan T omtnr '■> J
removed at last. He is dieting
guished Georgian tnd deserves
the attention of the President.
Mr. Hammond, of Georgia, and
Mr. Morrison, of Illinois, locked
horns on Tuesday. We would
bet on the Georgian in all such
foiensic struggles.
The New York Sun finds indis
putable evidence of Miss Cleve
land’s handiwork in the Prosit
dent’s message. That accounts
for the good quality of the docu
ment.
A Chicago doctor finds himself
in trouble. In filling np a death
certificate he inadvertently wrote
his own name in the space where
the cause of the death is specifi
ed.
A convantion of the heirs of the
eight hundred million dollars
Lawrence-Townley estate in Engs
land are in session in St Louis to
devise means ior securing the al
leged fortune.
Wm. B. Asior has been spend
ing some of h'S loose change in
Florida. Rumor has it that he
has just paid $400,000 for the
Jacksonville, Halifax and St. Au
gustine railroad.
William Bender, of Cincinnati,
recently threw into a fire S4O 000
in government bonds. He had
been drinking heavily ana fancied
some of hia relatives were after
his wealth.
The Constitution is wide awake
to journalistic enterprise. Gen.
Toombs was hardly shroudsd be
fore it had a two page illustrated
history of the talented Georgian
in type.
The petrified skeleton of a
whale over 30 feet long has been
discovered by an officer of the
coast survey on a range of moun
tains in Montery county, Cal.,
over 3,300 feet above the sea lev
el
Senator Brown has introduced
a bill to remove Gen. Lawtoi *.
disabilities. It is said Gen. Hen
ry R. Jackson has mote of the
same sort of things, whatever
they are, than Gen. Lawton
which ought to be removed also.
An old-time resident of Chero -
kee county claims to be the father
of 8 children, the graudfa'her of
72 grandchildren, and had also 52
great-grandchildren, all of whom
are living. He is 90 years old
and is well preserved.
TOO BUSY FOR BUSINESS.
a iravtler landed at a wtyside
tavern iu J’exus early one uieru
lug, anil, after sitting around with
out discovering any signs of break
fast until an appetite like a muss
tard plaster begun gnawing, he
walked up to the landlord, who
was behind the counter bent near,
ly double over a newspaper, in
which he was tracing the lines of
s thrilling romance witu his fore
finger as he puffed away at an old
cob pipe.
“What time do you have break
fast”
The landlord groaned, but did
uotl.iokup. The traveler raised
his voice a notch or two and re
peated :
“When do you have breakfast ?’,
The man behind the bnr never
moved. The traveler ihumped on
the counter with h ! s knuckles to
atiraci attention, and again said’
much louder than before :
“When do you have breakfast ?’
‘Hey!' said the landlord, with
his face still buried iu the news
paper.
‘Wbou do you have breakfast!’
‘Most every day.’
‘ls this one of the luck day’s?’
‘Hey?
‘Are you going to have break*,
fast Vo-day?’
‘I reckon more’n I ke we will.’
‘How soon do you suppose it
will b* ready?’
‘I don’a ’spose notbiu’ about it.’
‘What’s the reason you don’t?
‘Coz I don’t know.
‘When do you generally have
it?
‘When the coffee biles.
‘Hus the fire been started yet?
‘I don’t know nothin’ about it.
‘What’s the reason you don’t.
//I m w umi w M VUOOi
‘See here, old man, ain’t you
the landlord?
‘I reckon mebbe I am.
‘Well, then, I’d like to have you
tell me who’s running tois tavern,
Tue old man raised bis head,
gave the stranger a look that
made his flesh creep, and eaid :
‘Well, sometimes the niggers
r-m it; sometimes /he old woman
gives it a whirl; sometimes the
cussed thing -orter wobbles along
for itself, and then again some
times I gives it a hist myself, and
every once in a while some lantern -
jawed, knock-kneed, son of a
tiger like you comes along and
wauts to try his baud at makirg
it spin, but about the time he gets
to shooting his mouth t >o free he
takes a notion to go out to the
horse trough and soak his head,
and after that he alluz meek
enough to miud his own business
for a spell. What in the name of
lorn Scott do you want, anyhow ?
Can’t you keep your coat on un'il
I strike the end of tbis yere piece!
I waot to find out what tne blazes
they’re goin' to do with that old
pira/e I’ve been worrying about
for the last /wo months, now so
what's the use of being in ;» sv eat?
Just then a darkey steppod in
to the ba:k yard and began pound
ingajoint of sieve pipe with a
broken brosm handle.
‘Does tbit mean breakfast?* in*
quired the stranger- in an humble
voice.
‘lshouldn*/ wonder a durned
bit,“reiurnd the landlord, as he
plunged into his paper.—Chicago
Ledger.
THE BIGGEST FOOL.
‘When I married you,* said Mrs-
Peppterton, trf her husband, ‘I
thcaght that you were a sensible
man, but I have since learned that
you are a fool. ‘
‘Let’s see,* the husband mused,
*We have been married five yeaas»
haven't we?‘
‘Yes, lam sorry to say that we
have.*
‘And you married me under
the impression that I was a sensi'
ble fellow?’
‘Yes.‘
‘And you have just discovered
that I am a fool?*
‘Yes; I have.’
‘Well, you were a long time iu
msking the discovery, which proves
that you are a bigger fool than 1
am. Another thing in my favor
is that I knew you were a foo l
you wouldn’t have conse*
marry me. 1
Our Own Section —We Labor For Its Advancement.
LAWRENCEVILLE GA December 22 1885
HE KNEW E LL tfIMPS.
‘Do you know the prisoner at
the bar?’
‘Him?’
‘Yes; answer up prompt.’
‘That fellow there?
‘Certainly; do you know him?”
‘Him?’
‘Yes, to be sure; why don’t yo i
answer?’
‘Why, pshaw, judge! Him aiu
me married gals out of the same
family—sisters, you might say.’
‘Well, do you know him?’
‘Him?’
‘6’au’t you understand plain
English? Do you know this mnn?’
‘That’n?’
‘Of course, you blockhead. Do
you know him?’
‘Kuow him? Why bless your
jour old heart, judge, he’s got a
pup that I gave him more’n fivs
years ago, an’ you never see such
a dog in all your born days a
that’u turned out to be. Why,
pshaw, judge, you couldu’t fin?
nothin’ like him with hide ah’ hair
on in seven counties; but the way
I come to git him was just one of
the funniest blame things you
ever heered /e/1 of. You see the
way of it was this—ah?’
‘Hold on! Stop right there!
We don’t want any dog stor/es
just uoiv. Do you know him?’
“Who?”
‘Why, this man!"
*Uh! Why, I ’lowed you meant
the dog. Well, it I'd kuowed the
pup half so wed as I did him, you
can bet your socks he would’nt
never a got rim, judge; that's
what he would’ut. V\ by, dog
gone it all, judge, that dog was
half pinter, an'—ah?’
‘Stop this sawing around and
answer the question, or you’ll he
UULLUiiI .to u•
“Uh?”
‘I s»y you’ll be committed .’
‘Uh?’
‘I say you’ll be committed for
contempt.'
‘For what?’
‘For contesaDt.'
‘What’s ihat?’
‘Will you answei the question?
‘Yes.’
‘Well, then, why don’t you do
it?’
‘Do what?’
‘Answer the question.’
‘What questisn?’
‘The one I asked you.’
‘Whico’n?’
“Do you know the mau?'
‘What man?’
‘The prisoner at the bar.’
‘I wonder now if you mean Bill *
Gimps*’
‘Ceriainly. Do you know him?’
‘Didn’t I say we both married
into the same family?' ;;
‘Will yon answer the question?’
‘What question?'
‘Do you know Bill Gimps?’
‘Didn’i I give him a pup five
years ago?’
‘Yen; but do you know him?’
‘Well, now, see here, judge, do
you s’pose I wouldn’t have any
more sense than lo fool away n
dog on a man I don't know?’ No/
sir ee;l never got so blamed flush
with dogs as to was'a ’em like
that. Know him? Of course I
do; better 'u I do; bet/er’n I do the
size of my own feet or my ole wo
man’s voice, and could’v told you
so long ago if you’d only ast me.
Know him at the bar? Why,
judge, that’s where I first got ac
quainted with him, by his atandin
treat, an’ I never knowed a mau ?
judge, that wsb more certain to
• urn jack right where it was need
ed in a game of seren*ap thin
him. Yea can go your pile on
him for chat every time and never
get left. Yes, sir, I’d know Bill
Gimps anywhere, even m meeiin,’
though I don't e’pose I could make
out now he got there. Know
him? Yes sir-ee-bob. I know him
as well as Ido when dinner-time
comes. Is that s*rong enough,
judge, or do you want me to pro
juce his note to show how much
more I knew him? I car do it if
sich is law.'
‘That will do ’
‘Uh?’
‘You ip* >le P down!’
<Dr * whery?’
-/own stairs, ycu blockhead!’—
Jbicago Ledger.
Subscribe for, and advertise in
the Herald.
THE GuEEN EYED MONSTER.
‘My dear,* observed Mr. Grap,
I as He came in u li tie late for sup
i per. ‘I um sony that I couldn’t
get here sooner, Lui 1 stopped on
the way up to ; tickets for the
theiitie.'
‘You ought o kuow better ihuu
to w/leta yuur money in I hat way
Mr. Grap.*
‘Yes my dear, but I got them for
Mary Anderson.*
‘You did, hey? You got some
tickets for Mary Anderson? You
ought to be ashamed of yourself,
Mr. Grap. Here I am left at
home to w ork my hands off while
you go out and buy tickets for
Mary Anderson. 1
‘But, my dear, I wus going to
take you io see Miry.*
‘I don't waut to see her, and
you ought to be ashamed to tbll
me iliui. I‘s bad enough for you
to go and buy theatre tickets ter j
her.
‘But. my darling— *
‘Look here, Mr. Grap, I warn to
tell you one think. If you men
tion Hint worn in‘s n me to me
again you’ii be sorry for il. You
needn’t try to explain, for I wop‘i
have it. Miss Anderson, hey? 1
suppose you gave her the tick
ets?’
‘No, my deal-, I ‘
‘Thou then the best thing you
can do is to put them in the fire.*
my ‘
‘See here, John Grap, if you
do»/"t put those tickets in the tire
you'll regie. d.‘
And Joho goes and puts the $5
woi tii in the stove, mentally re
solving liiat the philosopher was
light when he divided mankind in-,
to two varieties of fools.—Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
1
'<U/ til \r A\T IV l TEI.BllniM
The other day a young house
wife left her home in this city to
speed a few days with several lady
friends ’u Hamilton. Before go
ing she provided a good supply of
cold edibles for her husband, and
told him that he could help him
self whenever ho wns hungry. /7e
took lurch down and went home
in the evening for dinner.
As he toJ/ft the story be found
cold chickeo, co ! d t utter, cold pie,
cold milk, cold salt, cold mustard
and several other cold dishes, but
wita all that lie was not entirely
satisfied, and bunted high and low
for boinettiiLig else. At first he
tj'd tiot know what it was, but
finally oorcluded that he wanted
bread. Ho knew there was some
in the house, but ho could not find
*t. Finally lie concluded to tele
graph iiis wife for be could not
Ive without bread. Accordingly
a telegram asking “Where is ihe
biead?” was despatched
The wife received it in the
mdst of a number of ladies, and
*1 -Tightened her nearly to death.
Wih the cry, “I krow its bad
new—l know Mr. is killed!”
she fell in a faint. The ladies
piesmt cried from sympathy, and
amot lu 'ubriousi scene present
ed itelf when the man of the
housft happened in.
“Vfiat’s the matter here?’’ he
aske^
“Ms. B’s husband has b«en
killed and she has fainted,” was
the rjply.
“Hw do you know?”
“Ot she got a telegram,” was
ths a A wet.
J'Wtfcrs is it?”
“We jyven’i opened it yei.”
I imagine ihc scone when the
synpaifiiiic creatures read the
mssHgo. Id about an hour the
rely was seni, buck to him:
“ou mean thing! It is in the
biad box under the piano, where
lid it from the cook.”—Cincio
n:i Sun.
v farmer was hoeing 1 ard on
b patch of land wbeD one of
tkse town loafers approached die
free. “Hello, Former 8., what
d you think of the outlook?’
“hat outlook?’’ “Why, (he busi
es oatlook.’’ “Didn’t know
tkie was one ” “We are all talks
lit it down at the store,
ad tuey sent me (o hear what you
bd to say.” “Ob, ; es, I see; well,
tea Vm if they will stop talking
aol go to hoeing that the country
wll prosper without any outlook.
Lb you hear?’’
OLUSTREK BATTLEFIELD.
While iu Florida a few weeks
ago we visited Ihe Olustee batiU
field, which is about two miles east
of Olustee station, on tbe old Flat
ida Central railroad.
This was one of the hardest
fights iu Florida, and all things
considered, it was a most terrible
battle. The federals started from
Judsonville to go through Flori
da, something like Sherman went,
through Georgia. About 6,000
federals, under Gen. Seymour, left
Jacksonville for Tallahassee. They
had gone but foriy five or titty
miles on their journey when they
were mot b 7 Gen. Fiuegan and
Colquitt The former was at the
statio- two miles away, while the
latter was on the field wiih his
men.
The battle ground is an open
pine flaz, covered iu pait by low
j palmettots. 2’his afford, d no
shelter for either party, add they
fell thick and fast ou both sides.
/n the heat ol battle, ammuuilion
j’-ive oui and a messenger was
son/ tvo miles to heudquarters,
but our men waited luavuly. Fin
egnn ordered rhom to fall back
to the beastworks but stll ihev
faced the enemy. Ammunition
arrived and a shout went up ad
along the line of baitle which made
every heart throb with joy and
burn with true patriotism. Again
word me from Fiuegan, “Fall
back to the bae.-istworks.” Colquitt
answered: “My men do riot
know what you mean sir,” and
still the fury of battle increased.
Men fell dead on every side* The
cavalry were ordered on (lie rignt
Tiiev made a move, but in trying
to cross the Ocean pond many of
the>r horses bogged up and the
riders were compelled to leave
ujom hl-u w:iue out inrougn mud
and water. But the last came,
anil 4,000 boys from Georgia and
Florida whipped out 6,000 Yanks
as slick as a whistle. The ba/ le
win severe; about 1 500 were
killed. The ft lends had pyshed
a company of colored men in front
nearly all of whom were killed
But ibe woi-s/ is to corns. The
southern boys were so enraged at
having a drove of i egroes 'o fight,
hat many of /hem went On the
battlefield and killed the wounded
with knots and chunks of wood.
A very large man was stood up
like a brute, neur the railroad,
where all who passed could see
him. Hundreds lay on the bade
field and were deveurert by hogs
and buzzards A stench rose up
fiom the field which spread for
miles away. The picture is too
bad to paint ju c t as it was and we
leave it for the iaimagina'ion to
complete
//ow desolate the place looks
oven now to one who is acquainted
with /he fac/s above, The same
old pine trees with their shattered
limbs and scarred bodies that stood
in the midst of the battle, still
stand like sentinels amid the scene
of carnage. Thousands pass this
historic place without Bny knowl
edge of being ou sack bloodstained
gii/und.
Most of our people have heard
of the “tiero of Olusiee,” Got.
Colquitt- It was here that he
made his came. Gen. Fincgan
has recently died. He was a brave
and good nr an.
Several gentleman from this
county weie in tbe fight. A gen
tleman from Coff e county told us
a few days ago that he lost his
horse in /he Ocean pond-
The gentleman who wa» arrest
ed for killing dead negroes, then a
little boy, now lives in Sanderson,
Fla.
A Mr. Brown lives on the little
farm in the middle of the battle
ground.
We counted as many as twelve
bullet holes in a single tree, and
were snccessfdl enough to get owe
bullet as a war relic.—Baxley (Ga)
Banner.
MARRIED PEOPLE WOULD
BE HAPPIER.
If home troubles weie never
told to a neighbor,
If expenses were propotiuned to
receipts.
If they tried to be as aggreeable
as in courtship days.
JOHN T. WILSON, Jb., Publish*
If each w juid try to be a aup-
I ort And comfort to the othor,
If each would remember the
other wan a human being, sot an
animal,
If each was as kind to tba other
as when they wets levers.
If foal and previsions were laid
in during the high tide of sainuer
work.
If both parties would remember
tbai i hey married for worse as
well as for better.
If men were ss thonghtfnl for
their wives aa they ware for .heir
sweet-hearts-
If there were fewer silk aad ye
vet street cost urns, and mors plain
tidy h use dresses.
If there were fewer “pIsMM (ti
lings t n public and mors oommaa
manners in private,
If masculine bills for Havaaoa
ana feminine ditto fur rare laoe
were turned into the general fund
until such limes as they oeuld 1m
incurred without risk.
1! men would remember (bet a
womai cannot be always milling
whubas so cook the dinner, answer
(he door bell half a dozen times,
and get rid of a neighbor who has
dropped iD, tend e sick baby, tie
up the out finger of a two-year
old, tie up the head of a six-year
old on skates, and get an eight
year 01 4 ready for soboll. A wo
man with all t his to contend with,
and go to mill, may claim itaa a
privilege to look and feel a little
tired sometimes, and a ward of
sympathy would not be too much
to expset from the man who, dor
ing the moneymoen, woald not
let her carry as much a ana*
shud —N Y. Mail and Kipreaa.
DON'T WANT TO “KETCH IT.**
A gentleman who spent several
years teaching gives the fallowing
account of a teachers interview
with a boy of ebon! 14 in n r«r«l
district Oth»r teachers have
probably bad similar expert sweat.
‘ What ie yonr w*me?”
“Ham.”
“What is the rest of jit"
‘Sam-yell.’ t
‘Rat what ie yonr snrnamdt’
‘Middle name's Hozayer.'
’And the laet names
‘Jackson.’
Oackson, then is the slams of
your parents?’
‘No, mum, it ain’t One of
'em's named Welymn, and the toth
er Mary Jana.’
“How old ara yous
‘Dunno.’
‘What 1 A bey as large ns yon
don’t know his age?’
‘Yes’nra.’
•A boy yonr size ought to k»«w
the exact year of his birth.’
*1 do know tha year.’
‘What year was it?’
‘Same year ts my eft(for Has*
riet ’
“Indeedl’
‘Yes’m we're twias.'
‘I want you to aak your mother
how old you are, and tell me to
morrow.’
‘She dunno. fche duono noth
ing.’
‘That is not a nice way to talk
abaut vonr mother.'
‘She don’t keer.”
‘Why don’t ebe?'
‘She’s deed.’
‘Where do yen live?'
‘Oner yon.’ This with a jerk of
his head over his lsft shsulder.
‘Hav you any bocks?’
‘No, tnami 1 den’t need flout.'
‘Why not?’
‘l’m oniy in my a b aba.’
‘Then yon have never had edu-'
catioDal advantages?’
Boy scratches hie head and
say-: ‘Bat I’ve had airysipilas,
If what you aaid ie worse nor
tuat, I don’t wanter ketch it,
A TOPER’S LAST DRINK.
Jokn Cbnham: of Pise Station,
near Whilliamaport, Pa , has
been knswn as a heavy drinker
and has beta bald up to yen tbs as
an example ot what degrafien will
follow the uea of iatoxioatiag
iquors. He died yeaterdas after
drinkings pint of whisky. All
his money wae gone* He was
still thirsting for a driak, and he
walked to the hotel bar and asked
for a glass of liqnor. The bar
tender Eaid :
Jit i.,. \'h i / i. .; 1 -
4 WIDE AWAKE COUNTY
inn i iwi imi ns in —■—an i—mmi.*—aabi
JOB PRINTING
A SPECIAL FEATUKE
Book work, legal blanks, lettes
ads, note heads, bill heads, pee*
s, cards, envelops—evervthing
job printing line done in see
t d tasty style and on short aa*
t*'*. Prices low and work gwaa*
anteed: Gall oa us.
Entered at the Post OfUso at l ews
reuoeviiis, ■■ Mosud olass mail mas
ter.
NO 42
“If y»a drink a pint of whisky
you can have it for nothing.”
This liberality aatoniahedChath
am. Recovering hlmaelf be said
in an excited manner: *l*i?e it
to me and I'll drink/t"
The bartender poured eat a
pint of whiaky in a large glass.
Gha'ham grsaped the glass, raised
it to bis lips aad nev«r lowered it
uatil the last droa gargled dawa
bia throat, hmaokiag bia Ups ha
laid tba glass on the bar, rabbiag
bia hand in eostaay.
Me exclaimed aa ha tottered to
ward the door, -That baa made a
new man of me."
/fe fall la the float aaeoaseiaua.
The hasten darn picked him np.
He wad dead.
WANTS A WIFK BADLY.
The Borne Bulletin contains
this advsriiaawent: “1 waut n
gaad wife. lam a farmer, or any
thing aim she wants. Any sort
of complexion will do. No differ
ence bow high er low she is se she
wiJ be true to my five little ones,
I bays just relnrnod from Arkaa-i
aas, where my wife died an tba
Aral day of August, 1884. Ipi a
!rr a light eamplected woman, and
•he must hay# straight hair. I
have got my awn com, aad 78 to
100 bushels of awaat potatoes. I
hays bosn wanting to get a good
woman, and I will respect her
when l find her. This offer Will
beopsn for ten days, Address
H: W. Goddard, Same, Ga.” Ths
nboye notice was giten to us by
Mr- Goddard in persoa yesterday,
and though it is somawbat unique
in form, and abpreasad in a ityU
paeuliairly his own, h* evideatly
means business. His pedigrse is
aa Slant this offiaa.
A BASHFUL BEAU.
‘Your beau seems to he very
bashful,' aside mamma <» her
daughter.
‘Bsthfair echoed the denghter,
‘Bashful ie no asms for it.’
‘Why don’t you enueuvage him
» little mere? Borne men here te
he fought to de their eeartiag.
He’s a good natch.'
‘Eneenrage him!’ said the
daughter. ‘He esnaot take the
moet palpable hint ‘He eaunot
take the mest palpable hint*
‘He eaaaot take the mast palpable
hint. Why, only last night whea
I sat all alone on the sofa and ha
parched op is a chair as far away
aa he nauld get. I asked him if ha
did not think it strange that a
man’s ara and a women’s waist
•earned always the same length,
and what do yon think ha did?’
‘Why, what any sensible man
would have done—tried it.”
'He asked me if I could And «
string so that wo could measure
and nee if i* was so. It’a horrid.
A ROMANCE.
It Lapeaed Sunday night about
two hours after the benediction
had been said. They had forgot,
ten about the “pearly gatee ajar”
and had talked elaborately es all
noted females, from Mary Ander*
son to Mend S. Presently a 101 l
occurred in their conversation,
whon tee young men hitekod his
chair up to her’* and, nsrvensly
Angering the fringe on her nhaw]»
seid: “I am about to aak you a
very important question; at* yo*
prepared for it?”
“J am/ she said, Axing her
month.
“Will yon”—here hie voice grew
husky and be stopped and drew a
breath as long as a rake handle.
“Will I do what?” said tbg
young lady anxiously. “Go on
with your qnestion.”
“Will you go to the circus with
mo?”
Tableau.
“When 1 mairy,” said a budding
Sokool girl, “I’ll want a tall, fins
looking man/ “There's where,
yon’r wrong, sis/ said her mere
practical mother, “you’l. have less
trouble watehiog an ugly man aai
enjoy more of hie company.”
A scientist says that «news
paper plaead nndsr the eoat l*
the email of the back ie an exeals
eat substitute for an overcoat.
Now is the time t® subscribe, foq
the timuLe,