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■ :,J ' (•umiiiunica-
K r;l [ Directory
Ecvil uovkbumbnt-
H, clerk Sup. Court,
Kim. OrJiuary.
sheni '-
Trt‘u»urpr.
Klrem.lV* Bew.«r •
Tax Collectorr
■ \Utlrtt, Surveyor.
■wilsnu, Coroner.
■dO^rvcoMUissioNKßa.
K ay Obairmau ami Clerk, 6
■j K ClonJ, J. K HopeiM. A "
BOARD 0V (DURATION.
, School Comm waioner. J.
■,a T- I’utiHo, .A J. Uool>
■ r B. VViuu.
V municipal.
■ c.Smith, Mayor.
■ COUNCIL.
■ Brown, J.O. Houston. 8.
■|«y, A. J. Vaughan.
OkPARTUBKOF TKAIN
■ from Suwannee, 5.50 m
■ lotSuwannee, 7 a’ m
Hi jvd DSPARTORR 01 BILB.-
Kson-Arrives 12 m, Je]'»rU
Booday and Thursda
■uSnian -Depart' 6 a m
■a,Monday and Tb irsduy.
Bulls.--Arrives 10 a m, de
E ni,—Daily.
Bn Kivee.- Arrives 12 m., de-
Ea di„ Welnesday and Saturday
E w. U. HARVKY, P. M
■ CHURCHES
Br -KrvJ 1. H Barrett, pastor
Merely Tl ird Sunday.
Hour Rev K K. Aiken Pusto
Hi the Ist and 2nd Snnduya.
Hr School,- S J Winn, Supt
■Sunday at 3 pm
HnsaiAN--Rev Samuel Sto
■Services on 2nd nd Ith Snudays
■nooth,
Hr School. —T It Powell. Snpt
Bnuday at 9.30 a m;
I FRATERNAL.
Bmcevillr Masonio I,odoe.—J
Be W M , S A llagood, S W‘
Bn J If. Meets on first Tuesday
■each mouth.
■ibnon Chapter, No 39, R A
■ Spence, II P, A T Pattillo
■eels Friday night before the
■a; in each mouth.
Imt SupEHioa Court.— N. 1.,
H.Judge. Convenes ou the 1 at
Bin March and September.
■ frank McDonald,
■ ATTOBKEY AT LAW.
■ Liwtenseville, Ga.
H>. |nat In i‘ 111 I In- lllit il i• ('ll JITS
Hut iiidumry, ami Sui>ei-ior
Hu' (.1 .in In ai'il mil t uiiliiliiig
linns a specialty. Office
HF Kiln i. ml.I hi};, dim n stairs oil
Hulrruti.
HFI/i/ii' M. Johnson
HTTORNEYAT LAW.
H GAINESVILLE, GA.
Hpwtice in this ami uiljoining
■.toil the Supreme Court of (lie
■ Business iotru.-iied to his care
Hem prompt attention.
I E. 8. V. BItIANT
I ATTORNEY AT LAW,
■ Logansville, Ga.
■ business entrusted to his
Hill receive prompt attention.
Htions a specially.
H.U-ly
|\NTA TO NEW YORK
I VIA
V Ivw-und Shenan
with \ alley Routes
■X PRESS. RnTTE.
■f'; 0 "' EiT.iV.G, duil tals pm
|^ ll “ 6 40 pin
Earn !! “ “ «35 pm
E, lue -:: : :: 'SHE
1115 am
E&M PRa “ HfWpm
f Uade ~t„ a) r enn KK .. ;! 3^
|w\oik “ “ •700 am
| 111 ‘ S t l, 'lnas all open- pm rules
I 1 lowerthitnev r'
Umber parti,.HUM write toY7r
Bu-L.,L: t ‘ <olTis . Ticket agent,
l a ('u/c^L 3 . 0 "’ Ti, ' l;et ‘Went.
| u ‘ Right, .list Pass act, At
im li W WRENN
■““sagent, Knoxville. Tenn’.
pmiths m
BILE||
BEANS
relieve* 1^ e l adache ,n 4 hours.
■hftChlii?^Fe v S? r 5L >la «} hey cure and
Ri£ M 'theSkin Tn„'»iJ ,r i? lon,ach •* Ba «
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■ n w «Md(uu-in?; . u »s»:ONE BEAN.
t^^^rop S .:;V:L<>B, S .MO.
I AYER’S
me Cure
I ’ Remlt tent Fever,
f '■ '» case Of fan™’ and Liver Cow
f;’ «« T’ aftar due trl «L
[ Ul 'l»«2 lt0 . ' by onr circular oi
I J r> . 11 '* tlle auoney.
I 'Es%*gu
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pjf S®MSisr»
KXA •(■.. ~ 1,01 «««1
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rWsaaSss%
TYLER M. PEEPLES, Proprietor.
VOL XVI
THE MOON AND THE SEA
SONS.
"And God said let there be light in
the tt ran ament of heaven to divide
the day from the night, and let them
be for signs and for seasons, and for
days and years.’’—Gen. vii. 14,
Every error and superstition
Las a corresponding truth, or
rather, it is the shadow of some
truth, for whicii it is often taken
by the ignorant or substituted by
the malicious.
We have often heard of the old
time notion of “planting in the
moon,” and heard the old refuta
tion of it by the thrilling and as
tonishing assertion of tue unbes
liever in moonology that he “plant
ed his truck in the ground,” and
that “the moo/t was further than
the old woman wanted to walk to
pick a mess of greens.”
Vet there is a grand truth at
the bottom and it is grounded so
deep in human belief that the
world will never be rid ot it.
I do not believe in the direct
influence of the moon upon any
plant, or that ono plant does bet
ter planted in the light or dark of
the moon. Ido behevo that the
weathor is governed and controll*
ed by the moon, and that nence
its influence on vegetable life is in
direct rather than direct.
For many years the moon has
been under my constant observa
tion, and but one rule has been
found to work constantly, uner
ringly, and without failure, winter
or summer, and it is only an aps
proxiwation. 1 will give the rule
in a few words, so that it may be
easily remembered and readily
quoted, and then 1 will give a few
applications of it
The weather always takes its
shape in the seven days between
the first quarter and the new
moon, and whatever if is in that
time, that it will he for the next
three quarters, or until tho lasi
quarter of the next moon, when
the weather will hold its own or
change. I will now apply the
rule.
Get your al aianac for 1886, and
turn to February, lust quarter
February 26th new moon Match
sth, last quarter March 27th.—
Now, whatever the general state
of the weather is from February
25th, until March sth, that it will
be until March 27th. Should it
be dry and windy or wet and cold,
we may look for that all the way.
And then from March 25th ULtil
April 4th will be a sign until April
261 b. Thus it has gone and will
go until the world shall end.
1 hav« several times iu my life
given valuable advice to my friends
based upon this grand principle,
and it lias brought them great ads
vantage. In June, 1881, there was
as line a prospect for corn in this
country as I ever saw, It had
been veiy dry until the last quar
ter entered, It went through
clout and dry anu the new moon
passed without rain. I told sever
al friends wto were hoping for
rain of my reasons that there
would be none. They took me at
my word, went and bought corn
at 50 cents a bushel, and cut down
heir corn while it was green and
nice, ar,d stacked if with caro.—
There was no corn made that year,
and corn went to $1 per bushel,
and (he bulk of the crops that
might have been valuable forage
dried up in the fields and was
lost.
If bay is ready to cut and the
lost quarter is wot, let it alone; if
dry, cut it. If you do not, in
eiilier case you will lose heavily
If wheat or oats are ready to har
vest and the last quarter i*> wet,
it will pay to hire several sets of
hands to have it. If meat is ready
to kill and the last quarter is warm
do not De deceived by a little clod
snap on the new moon and kill
the hogs, as you stand tht best
dance to have it spoil, or, at least
taint. If you are cutting wheat
in the last quarter and it is dry*
you had better put in plow* right
behind the binder or you may nev
er get that stubble turned. In
fact, the whole year’s work can be
forecasted a month, which is a yast
advantage. I will say emphatical
ly that there is no other sign that
is reliable.
I had an ohl Tennessee neigh
bor once who urged the “old
twelve days’ an a sign el the
LAWRENCEVXLLE GA Tusday June 29 1886
weather for twelve months. I
have watched that for a number
of years and have .never Known it
to correspond or to “hit,” as they
say. I think ii has about as mucn
connection as a comet of 500 years
revolution has. Another popular
superstition is, that it the new
moon lies ou the back it will turn
over and spill the water out; but
if it stands en the point it is al«.
ready rained out and will be dry.
Many of the wettest times and
the grandes floods have followed
such moons, while drouths have
as often followed the mcon on itg
back. The point or back is gov
erned by the angle of the moon,
e arth, and sun, by which a certain
portion of the illuminated surface
is reflected to the earth.
Many people think the moon
grows and t brinks every month.
You need not reason with them,
for they say, “don’t I see it myself
with my own eyes t” Otlen peo
ple will fell you thty “have noticed
it” when the fact is, they simply
remember their theory and then
forget it, saying “it just hit’
when it did not There is not a
B ign or superstition connected
with tli« moon but I haye followed
it, and this rule about the last
quarter is the only one that ap
proximates the truth.
In my position as a minister 1
have befn called a great doai to
visit the sick aod set up witli them
1 have had the pleasure of acquain
tance with a great number of our
most excellent physicians, and
having read medicir e, 1 have often
drawn them out in order to learn
of them. Much that I know to*
day I have gathered from tuese
angels of mercy to mankind. Du
ring tnis time I have noticed the
fact that pneumonia, typhoid-fe
v er, fever and chills, in fact, most
of diseases, wax and wane with
l he moon, the ciisis be mg at or
near the quarters. I have been
noticing deaths, and three out of
four occur within thirty hours of
a quarter. Most of the sudden
acute inflammatory diseases atten
ded with severe congestions, oc
curring before a quarter, are apt
io terminate fatally. If they arise
at or after a quarter they are apt
to be subdued, /his fact will en
able nurses and physicians to an.
ticipate their patients danger.—
Again, the first and lasi killing
frost occurs upoe the new moon.
This fact will govern potato dig
giug, cottoD planting, and the
knowledge of fruit supply. Yet,
high over all is the trreat world
wide principle that the weather for
the last quarter indicates the
weather for the next three quar
ters. —R. H. Adair, in Home and
Farm.
FENCE OR NO FENCE.
Mb. Editor: —Please to allow
me the use of your columns to
make a tew suggestions that 1
think are of vital imporfance to a
largo number of the citizens of
this county.
THE STOCK LAW.
1 will state that the law at the
present time, would benefit tho ex*
tiusive land owners, the ones owns
ing large bodies of land, for the
reason that he would not be com
polled to pay his tenants so fence
his lauds, but could have his ten -
ant* to build his pasture fence in
order to pasture their own stock —
that In many instances in a few
years he could rea’ize rents for his
pastures as well as the cultivated
lands, this is the only class that I
can think of that will be benefit
ed,
WHY WE SHOULD VOTE FOR FENCE.
Because all are not large land
owners.
Because the widow and her
children are in many cases depen
dent on their cow for a large part
of their support, she has no mon#y
to pay for pas tuiage.
Because the small land ownors
baR not the land to for pasturage.
It requires perhaps all of his land
to make a support for od his fami'
fy-
Because (lie poor of the county
do not own pastures add have not
tho money to puv ront with, while
one the other hand, if his cow
could just go out on the green
swamps and old fields of the more
I favored of tho land she would be
I well provided for, on the other
UuU i i Block iftvr prevail* the
Our Own Section — We Labor Jb'or Its Advancement.
grass will grow up fu these swamps
and on the high ways, wither and
die from the suns scorching rays
or by the frosts of winter and ear
ned away and do nothing good.
Have this class of our citizens the
ones spoken of no cosideration at
the hand o of the more favored.
Alass ! rather help them up my
friends by hirirg them to build
your fences, thereby giving them
something to do to earn ther bread
when otherwise they would be
idle. Do not (do as the writer of
this has seer) wait and let your
fences go dewD with the hope tliaf
the stock law will pass by a vote of
the county, but go to work and
build, or hire it done, good and
better fence, save your crops and
your neighbors cow that perchance
might step across that trail of
brush that you havo piled up and
call fence.
The advocates of no fence, or
stock law, will tell you that all the
people who hav& tried the stock
law arepleasd with it, put not your
trast in that for the repovts that
they bring you are from favored
class that I am speaking of, no
nother class in their estimations
have any right to be heard.
Look at the inconveinience of
the law, 3ou small lands owners
cannot pasture your wheat or oat
fields unless you fence them up.
nor your other lauds, why then
have the law unless it be for the
purpose of gain from the tenant
class.
Further we are told that il will
improve tho stock. Yes in a few
years I suppose a common scrub
cow to be worth $50,00 and a yoke
of cxen, if such a thing could be
found, would bring perhaps $125.
Why t Because of the Stock law
—no one but the large land owner
could support either, thereby mak
ing them scarce and entirely out
of the reach of the poor man. Beef
perhaps 10 to 12 cents per pound,
(his is the gieat boom offered to
the poor.
1 have seen in the stock law
country where it appeared to me
that the cows were fair pruning
shears, from the manner in which
the pasture tfeos wt»te stripped of
their leaves and branches, besides
scores of cows blocked our in she
fields with a rope and a log of
wood as you would block a dog.
As to hogs and sheep in a stock
law county they cannot prosser.
f/ow are you going to shut up
your pigs in a pasture field 1 Af
ter they get of some size you can
do it. One great trouble with us
now is that in the nest our meat
houses are now located, and as a
people we cannot prosper until
they are brought home.
To the voters of this county:
You are called upon to pass upon
<his question on the 7th day of
July. You must go to your own
district precinct, the district in
which you live, there cast your
ballot. See that you hare on
your ticket “Fence” and nothing
else, do Lot fail to do this unless
you want to be hampered for all
time to come with stock law. Go
slow, wait a while, plenty of tim*
ier for a long time to come, and >f
there waß not stock law will not
save the timber, but the reverse is
time.
Veritas,
Gwinnett, Co., June 19, ’BO,
DWELL IN PEACE.
Mr Editor —Behold how pleasant
it is for citizens of a section to
dwell together iu unity. This
seems to be the prevailing spirit iD
Berkshire and Pinknoyville. There
is but little stir in politics. We
are practically undivided down
here, notwithstanding the fiantic
little onslaught upon Gordon by
some of your correspondents.
We think “Ex Confederate” is
struggling ard agonizing in (he
last tnroes of defeat. 'Twar ever
thus. If Gordon, or (he people,
attached half the importance to
these pesky little slanders that the
writers do to their own produc
tions, the out-look might be a tri
fle discouraging, but a man of
Gordon’s strength cculd glide
along with force unimpeded with
several score of these little poli
ticians tickling a( him. It affects
him about as much as would a
half dozen Bpriug ticks in the
fl»uk of a mousUyus 'TOOthraugef,
They should not get so excited.
The could profit by the advice of
our esteemed and level-headed old
citizen, Col. Jas. P, Simmons;
“Keep Cool.”
Oar Buford exiconfederate
claims to be considerably exorcis -
ed in L ehalf of certain members
of our Lawreuceville bar. He
says some lellow has cut-raged
them most fearfully, aud thinks it
is a Gordon man who did it. Now
if this ex-conderate thinks he can
convert the peop.e of this county
to Muj. Bacon, by trying to excite
sympathy for certain members of
the Lawreaceville bar, be will
make a signal failure- He seems
to think that because the mass of
the peoplo of the county have
chosen to differ with these worthy
gentlemen, that they have denoun
ced them as base and corrupt, and
he winds up with au appeal to the
people to come to the muss meets
iDg, ami vindicate these gentle
men, by supporting their favorite
We will be there to vindicate one
against whom all efforts have been
made to slander and outsrage, to
wit, John B. Gordon.
Why sir, I dare say we are as
proud of our Ilutcbins, our Sim
mons, our Peebles, our Juhan, and
our other legal gentlemen referred
to, as is this ex-eon federate. —
Yes, we have honored tLem in the
past with important trusts, and
would do so again, but that is no
teason why we should favor Mr.
Bacon. We accord to these dies
tingnised gentlemen all manner of
candor. And even though they
be with the sad minority of the
people, thure are none of us who
could meet defeat more bravely
than will they. We appreciate
their worth and ability, and would
not be without them, for we need
them, but, then we do not need
them to dictate to us whom we
should support for governor.
It is a little funny that your Ba
con correspondents are so over
wrought with the people and Gor»
dou for referring to his brilliant
war record, when, at the Haute
time they generally wind up their
pieces by signing some nou de
plume tliat smells like burnt pow
der, in the hope of making some
body believe they were good sol
diers. Ah, the truth is, they
know that Americans ever have,
and ever will honor valiaut soldiers
whether private or general, and
that a man witli a bad war reccord
is heavy to tote in Georgia, and
they try to make amends for their
favyritn. by signifying that he has
some fiiends who fought nobly.
By the way, what has become of
“Old Soldier f” Has he resigned,
or has he shot away all hie Ain*
munition at the gallant Gordon,
and retired to the back yard to get
a few more dauks of mud? We
are expecting him to shoot off' a
regnlur Fourth of Jnly salute at
the mass meeting, provided he can
get up the powder, and if he can’t
we aie expecting a terrible explo
sion oi gas—but, be that as it may
we, the solid jeomanry of Gwin
nett aro coming, not loaded with
gas, but with a deluge of votes for
Gordon delegates.
Citizen.
A KNOWING WOMAN.
“Madam,’ he said, after a long
survey of a flower stand at the
Central Market yesterday, “could
you recommend me something to
place on my wife’s grave,?”
“1 think so,” she answered as
she looked him over. “How long
has she been dead?’
“Six years.”
“Married again?’’
“What is Hi at to yon.”
“Oh, you needn’t be so cranky
about it. I’ve dealt in cemetery
flowers for the last fifteen years,
and I know about how things
work. If you are still a widower
you want about four dollars worth
of flowers and a border of moss.
If you are married again you’l
picK out a twentv-five cent rose
bush, beat me down to fifteen
cents, and soud it to the cemetery
by a car driver.”
He pretended to be very indig**
nant, and went to (he other end of
the market and bought two feeble
looking pinks for seven cents
apiece,—Detroit Tree Prose.
As a French restaurant: “Here
waiter, it seems to me (hie tarbot
is not quite as frsh as the one you
had lset Sunday.” “Pardon, «on
fiwur, it’i the ywy iwiie,’
LET US LAUGH.
A flank movement —Pa with a
strap.
Motto for persons who preserve
fruit—“ They can who think they
eau.”
An Irishman tells of a fight in
which there was but ona whole
nose left in the crowd, “and that
belonged to the tay kettle."
Chawley—“Who’i that old gen
tleman you nodded to, Fwedf’
Fwed —“Which ! The old chap
over there ! Oh, that’* a father of
mine.”
Pat said that his
wife was very uugratful, for “when
I married her she hadn’t a rag to
her back, and now sbe’s covered
with ’em,’
Jugomisca— ‘ You look very like
Senator F. John,” John (delight
edly)—“Oh, do If Is he smart ?’
Ingomisca—“l don’t know, lib
dosn’t look so.’
A husband telegraphed to his
wife: “What have yon for breaks
frst, and how is the baby V The
pi y came: “Buckwheat cakes and
measles.’
An exchange contains an article
headed “Row a Journalist Outwit*
ted a Queen.” The journalist, we
suspect, swung the king. We
have se en it done frequently.
“Ah, John!’ she said, just before
marriage, “1 fear I am not worthy
of you. You are such a good
man.’ “Never mind, Martuat
I’ll change all that after the wed
ding.’
Tom Pittman says the first time
he went oourting, he felt as if a
pink angel had hauled him down
a rainbow with a piece of chain
ligiuing right smack into a pile of
dawn.
“Why don’t you mount a clean
collar Brown? I mount one three
times a day.’ “Yes/ replied/Jpown
to the swaggering Jones, ‘ hut
every one’s mother isn’t a washer -
woman.’
“Henry, you to be ashamed to
throw away bread like tliat. Yon
may want it some day .’ “Well t
mother, would 1 aland any better
chance of getting it then should I
eat it now f
Discontented Wife—“lf I baa
known that I should have to work
so hard after I was married I
should have remained single.'
i/usbaod—“l thought the way
you worked to get me you liked t a
work.'
It may he going along all right
yet with Grover and Frankie, but
wait until his first collar button
Hies off. Then will be the time
for the family-jar pedler to step in
the door.
“Yes, sir,’ said the sailor, “I
have seen a whale that could swal
low a boat ’ “Ob, that’s no/hing,’
said the landsman, “I have seen a
small man who could swallow a
schooner,’
It is announced that no quarter
is to be given the Apaches. That
is unnecessary, as the soildiers do
not appear to get near enough to
them to give them a dime.
The Oleouargariae bill is cause
ing an immense amount of talk*
If they could only get some that
was made early last Summer, a
few ponods of it would be strong
enough to carry the Dill through
both houses and a third reading
unaided-
A personal item says that Miss
Jenks, daughter of the ex>Assis
tant Secretary of the Treasury is
“going to marry eight millions '
She will have to hustle around
pretty lively Pew single ladies
ever look forward to such a record
as this,
“Ma, has aunty got bees in her
uiouth?’ “No; why do you ask
such a question t’ “Cause that
little man with a heap of hair on
bis face; catched hold of her, and
said he was going to take the hon
ey out of her lips; and she said ;
“•Well, make baste.’
e^»»
What is lawyer Gordon going
to do with a (‘Gordon Legislature?’
The Republicans have reorgan
ized for a thorough campaign in
jeWMMW* ...
JOHN T. WILSON, Jr., Publisher
A NEW DIME MUSEUM AT
TRACTION.
“You say that you never saw
Frankie Folsom when she was a
scoool girl!’
“Never,’
“Never bad a cousin that was
her classmate at some high school
or academy!’
“Never had a cousin.’
“You do not live in a family
where the lady of the house was
the third cousin of one of Fiau*
kies classmates!’
“I board mysetf.’
“Did I understand you to say
that Miss Folsom never passed a
portion of one summer in your na
tive town!’
“She was never there, to my
knowledge,’
“oAnd you never had a friend
who once occupied (be suite of
rooms she and her mother did at
the Gilsey’s House !’
“My friends never stop there,’
“But wasn’t your father oace an
inmate friend of Frankie’s grand
pa V
“My father never saw the old
gentlemen-’
“How many summers have you
spent at Deer Pary !’
“Never waH there,’
“You are positive that you did
go there with Senator Davis !’
“Never saw the Senator..
“You are .dead sure that you
never saw little Frankie when aha
used to play with the school chil
dren of Buffalo !’
“Sure.’
“And your wife’s niece never re*
ceived to a cousin of Frankie's
early teacher!’
“Never.’
“Where were you born!’
“Xu Kentucky.’
“I II give you a thousand dol
lars a week to make the season at
my dime museum. You’re the
first American citizen i’ve seen in
three weeks that haden’t either
seen the President's wife when
she was a little girl or wasn’t au
all-flred-liar.’
WHAT WAS IN HIS COFFEE.
“./Vow. sir, I hope we shall have
no difficulty in getting you to
speak up,” said the attorney, in a
very loud, commanding voiee
“l hope not, sir,’ showed the
witness, at the top of his lungs,
“How dare yon speak to me in
that way,’cried the lawyer.
“Because I can’t "peak no loud
er, sir,' said the hostler.
“Have you been drinking !’
“Yes, sir.’
“I should infer so from your
conduct. fFhat have you been
drinking ?.
“Coffee/ hoarsely vociferated
the knight if the stable.
“Something stronger tbah oof
fee, sir, you’ve been di inking I
Don't look at me like Ih*t, sir!’
furiously. “Look at the jury, sir 1
Did you babe something in your
coffee, sir?’
“Yes, sir,’
“What was it V
“Sugar/
“This man is no fool, your Hon.
or—he is worst!’ stormed the
counsel
“ Now, sirrah,’ turning to the
witness, “look at me, What be*
side sugar did you take in you r
coffee this morning ?’
The hosfler collected his forces*
drew a deep breaih; and, in a voice
that could have betn heard blocks
a way,bellowed out, —
“A spune! A spune, an’ nothin
else r
A GRAMMATICAL POINT.
Amos paralyzed hiis teacher at
the gramma school the other dayt
and gave him a pointer that bad
ever before penetrated his reposi
tory of educational knick knacks,
“Amos,’ said the teacher (‘what
sort of speech is the word book ?’
“Book is a common noun, third
person, singular number, mascu
line gender, nom—’
“Masculine gender, you young
idiot, what do pou mean ?’
“1 mean that this boox I’m speak
ing of iB of (he masculine gender.’
•(What book is that ?’
“It’s a hymn book,’
The peach crop of the State is
said to be very fine.
The King of Bavaria has coin*
*hitted suicide. He did not- ie
GWINNETT HERALD
- - -: ->M
A WIDK AWAlvJfi COUNTY NEWtf-J^APEa
» —■ -n J«H l_ . ——SU
JOB POINTING
A SPB^ 4 T w »a on rif k
Book v
heads, nq
ora,
u job prs ■ I «£,■
aud tasty
iice. Fr
uuteed: •
hia Mammoth
gia, on I .
ciroulatihlS iriendt-.
T£
iThe o
ft. •
Fitznoodlos called on hie gui u«
fyuud her with tears in her eyes
and her face fed up.
‘lt’s the awful, awful toothaebe?’
she sobbed as he asked for au ex«
planation.
“Try camphor.*
“But the deutist says I must
have two of ’em out! Will *0» go
with met'
“Of course.’
“And will you—you also have a
tooth pulled?”
“Certainty.”
“Two of ’eta?’
“Yes,’ .»
“Before I do V
•‘Yes, darling.’
Then she flung the hamlkar
chief from her face, brushed the
tears from her eyes, and gave him
a long, lingering procrastinating
kiss on the left jaw. She had
simply been testing his love and
devotiuD. They will go to Niaga
ra Falls on their bridal tour.
NO 25
SHE WAS IN DHEP TROUBLE-
A young woman befurred end
eye-glassed, sat near the stove
weepiny. It was not a hearty,
jard-wide weep, but a furtive drop
ping of half-expressed tears upon
the corner of a scented handker*
chief—merely a bit of a thaw iu
cold wind.
“7u trouble miss ?’ querried thp
grayaliaired and sympathetic pas-*
senger.
*;Ye, —yes,’ was the sniveling re-i
p!y»
:‘May I inquire the nature of
your woe. young lady ? Possibly
I can comfort you.'
And for an answer, she snuffed
up two or three limes in her nose,
reached into her dress pocket and
pulled out a crumpled telegram,
saying, “Read that.’
Tbe sympathetic passenger ad
justed his spectacles, hemmed
and hawed, turned half round iu.
his seat and cautiously held the
ominous missive to the light. He
read:
“Come home at once your dog
gie is sick.'
USEFUL IN ONE WAY.
IFell, Booby, said young Feath
erly, we had quite a pleasant time
at the house last evening.
Yes indeed, replied Booby; ma
was speaking about it at the break
fast tiblo this morning.
Bo your ma enjoyed the evening,
too, did she 1
Yes. She told pa that she can
never think of you without laugh'
ing,
NEVER FAILS.
Brown--I’ve got an excellent
plan for getting rid of bill collec
tors,
Green— U% ! that so ?
B.—l have. Never fails.
O.—Well old fello sr, you must
let me into the secret, fur Im
worried to death by ’em-
B.—Well, I’ve tried it several
times of late, aud I find that tb«
man never comes back again.
G.—Ay, ay; woat do you do *
B.—l pay him-
Yours is a great paper ta adret
tise in—l never saw anything liko
it.
That’s what they all say.
Why, do you know I advertised
last night for a pocket book / had
lost?
Yes, ye*.
Well. I went home and found It
lying on ftiy bureau. And yet
Borne people say it dosed’t pay to
advertise.
“Yon had the fullest confidence
in your clerk, Mr. Parsons ?’
“Oh yes, 1 knew him thorough**
iy*’
“How then do you account foe
the fact that he has embezzled
I/0,000 of vour money ?’
“Oh that’s whahl always thought
he’d do; No, sir I wasn’t fooled
in him a particle-’
“Where are you going V she
said, as her husband started to go
oat at the end of the first act*
•Oh, no place nmob,’ he replied?
nonchalantly. “I notice the cur
tain has taken a drop,and I thought
a little of doing the same thing
myself.’
Atlanta claims to be the third
largest snufi market in the world
Augusta is threatened with a
big strike.
An ugly man at a party where
kissing games are played, looks as
lonesome sa a straw hat in a soon
!SWB|