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I ffltfETT HERALD
\ mv KVEMNO.
BATKB:
■ L _ . $1.50
until*. . - -50
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,U>' Kl . l Vr wM be < ha,f - r
raw* l, “' 11 .Vmlcrl ion, amt 60<.
fur tl“' Miuertion.
I ' | , #ul ' Ml ! l 'il ill'* intended fol
0, n"" : ", f w l be eoargod for
mlrates.
re(P llul way emiiumniea-
acral Directory
civil ai>*»*“ l ' OT *
Hnll .iiii,w. .ludi!« eiup. t'onrt.
■Oaia. t OTl' rt«P- ' ” l,rt *
Umkm. Or. I'miy
p. Co >' • » liur,n -
K BruiWi, i'uabUli'r.
ft Amlrews. I’M K«» w ■
Veruer.'l’m Oollectorr
v Muileti, Surveyor.
i \\ ilsoo, Coroner.
'co, COMMISSION«“• N
i a.K-.iee, Chairman mo went,
,j £ Cloud. J R U°P*“ nß > A “
iaruer.
HOiUD or LDUCATIO*. _
vV„,, . School Comm wai °ner. J.
icmc AT- Palillo, .A J- VVeob
d T K. Winn.
municipal.
,0 c Smith, Mayor.
COUNCIL
E Brown, J. 0. Houston. S.
wnl-v, A. J. Vaughan.
iVALAND DiSPABTUnKOP TRAIN
ives li-uui Suivanuea, 5.5 i) m
vts lor Suwannee, i »' “>
[TAL AND DBPABTUB* Of iILB --
fiisoN—Arrives 12 m, JtparU
Monday awl Thurada
jus SfOK«.—Depart > ' a
pm, Monday and Ti irsday.
anville.—Arrives 10 a m. de
I pro.—Daily.
LOW River.-- Arrives 12 in., de
fca u, Weiiisnday and Saturday
W. 11 ll ARV EY, F. ,«
CHURCH UK
nsi-BevJ b R barren, pastor
severy Third Sunday.
Bowsr— ltev EK. Aiken Paste
K. u» the Ist und 2nd Sundays.
dav School, —S J Winn, Suipt
Sunday at 3 p ni
sBvrERiAN- -Rev Samuel Sco
, Services on 2nd nd 4th Sundays
mouth,
dav School. — T R Powell. Supt
Sunday at 9.30 a nr
FRATERNAL.
rRENCEVILI.E MasONIC I.ODOE. —J
nee tV M., SA llapood, S W‘
mu J W. Meets on first Tuesday
n each rami tli.
Vernon Chapter, No 30, R A
D Speucf, ilf.i 1 Fattillo
II eels Friday night belore the
nday iu each uionlh.
ISNETT SUPERIOR COURT.—N. L.
one, Judge. Uonveues ou the iat
iy in March and Sentembnr.
» FRANK .MCDONALD,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
■ Liwicnneyille, Gt.t.
| I II I 111 111. il.-l- Co ills
■ « n.diiuti'y, an.l Superior
|H »... i. .uni Mim.mulnip
He a s|i,. ialiy. Office
r • ii.i l.iv, ili.w ii -lairs ..n
street.
Hiclt,• \l. Jointton
■aTTOKXKYAT LAW.
bM.NJisV l l.blfi, UA.
H r . . in thl- ami adjoining
ami I lif Sii|,|v Colli t oi' tlio
H c.- iii-c: iiitrnsteil lu bis care
l- prompt atmutioD.
H~L X lUUAN r
HI ATTORNEY AT I.AW,
H Logaiisville, Ga.
H f :■ entrusted to his
H k-'-ht prompt attention.
a specialty,
K ly
H-AXTA to NKW YORK
■
H l' 11 /*- nit'l Shemtu
H Willey limit eg.
H l,,,n e n. .1 'HC.
I T., v.u, .tail ■< 15 [„ n
8 35 pm
Hf 1, ,'“i 1 , a 50 pm
" 1 40am
Hr.' , F X 015 am
N&W 1145 am
H: 1 ! s - v It It “ 8 38 pin
H^‘; i, k | "». ii no it a “in so pm
■ "I®;, u&i* it u “ 1130 ,11.
H h ‘; b inn, I'.T.ii uit - 3 3oui,i
H-” “ ‘ 7 OO iim
'l'l ihi.s an .i|i,.|,_ lov ratas
ill.- iuu»*i- Hi,in i-v r
H>"• 1 l"T pariieuTiiis writ* ti. or
Hk 'i' "'a P r Ticket agent,
H ;JvlinxAiY, Ticket agent.
■' ' la ~ !' in ol, ilisi I’nss iifii, At
K. , II W WHENN,
HJ ' "i kiiuxville Tumi.
' i,: . k H e-*dache In 4 hoars.
■ :, ; hsmaiyia. Thsy cure and
■ ' : cd ;( h ,.V • '•*er,i>ciirStomach^Bad
h-'«. 1 0n ® ~1 ‘-Ne r, r S . andfiivn
■^«nr e “ v ’•<*’« Hose : ONE UfeAN.
■ «ilj per b ( „ ": '* r *>>* without them.
■ hj c > , Soltil by Druggists and
■ ul a «fuie7. c . e,pt 01
111I 11 ' 1 ' T() I>KBTOKS AMD
■ CRKDIIORs.
■ County
1 I 'in'estate of
Hea» , - 1 '" tar. of - idconnty
i„ u m '" 1 *>"i, 11.-<i that ini
i'hS: 4! 1 mmirert,
l i.y \. uv ' h verities ns ro
■ i. vi 1 - 1 "- H"1!T MKDLOt'K,
■ Ailiniuistralur.
■ " 1,1,1 A li'viuiiett County
n‘n — c, r “
■ ' 11; 1 ;, 1 ' I '-. > *.■,mm,,'. „ f me
■,‘ > 'lll, ,! 4 till leave to
■ Uc Nutil,« s " l ''“"1 lymg
■.“"hfo.vti, ~ el' lot No
■ 01 saidnoiiß-
Rr d . ‘ * tM " of sjficl de-
K ? Hie t!r! t V, Vieation will tie
K, ‘"ti- 1 in Soptmu
, J • 1 ■ LAM K IN, Ord’;'
§f|
Hi ,^7
■ * *•‘l -i'll \.TTj
I I - j] - v-'*-tnn»Ji.
((kinncK ff|a gtall.
TYLER M PEEPLES, Proprietor.
YOL XVI
His New Goat*
“Is it really true, Mux, that you
are going to have a dinner-party
at tha Cl range! Of learned gen
tlemen? And papa ia to be invis
ted 1”
Fanny Leslie flung her little
erochot cap into the air, and
caught, it again with the dexterity
of a slight ofohand performer.
Max Lynfield, who was sitting
on the low stone side I hat separa
ted the well kept grounds of the
Grange from the woody wilder
ness of the Leslie estate, with a
gun balanced upon his shoulder,
and a game-bag slung over his
back, nodded emphatically.
“Ail the scientific lighis of the
convention are to be invited,” he
said “Spectacles and bald heads
will be at a premium. D >u’t you
wish you were a learned old fudge
-sell. Fan? Of course, your
erncr is to be invited Don’t he
know ihe most about Egypto’ogy
and ancient Roman letterings, of
any old gentleman in the land.
Isn’t Professor Toliuaine especial
ly anxious to make his acquaints
snee? And isr’t Doctor Lebrun
going to bring, in his waistcoat
pocket, a slab of stone clipped off
fr, in the nose of some Assyrian
statnte or other, for him to identic
ty ? What are you looking so som
ber aboui? Jealous because you
can’t make out the company, eh?
I’m Sony for yon, Fanny, but you
hal no business to oe a woiflan,
•‘lt isn’t that,” said Fanny, with
ludicrous solemnity. “What day
is the dinner to be, Max?’
“The seventeenth. Just two
weeks from to day. But I say,
Fan, what are you in such a bur
jy for?’
“It’s almost sundown,” said
Miss Leslie, gatbeieg her scarf
about her shoulders in a hurried
way, “And I have wailed ever so
much time uere already. Good-by
Max? ’
“Yos* but Isay, Fanny—”
The only response to his appeal
was the light, quick sound of tne
giri’s foot-steps, as she flitted
away over the carpet of autumn
loaves that covered the pat', into
the yeiluw mist of the October af
ternoon.
“What a pretty girl that is?”
Max Lyulield murmured to him
self. “Her eyes are exactly the
color of a hazelnut, and she has
got the sweetest little sngr.r-plum
of a mouth that 1 ever beheld But
I don't see why she need be in
such a hurry.”
Aud he disconso ately picked
up the game which he had uns
buckled from his shoulder, and
rtrodo away, whistling.
Met*uv h'le, Fannie Leslie had
sped to the dreary, old-fashioned
stone house, bloielied with mil
dew and full of a spectral silence
where old Mr, Leslie sat, sp»c
\tided aud absorbed, among his
books, and Alma, the widest daug
hter, was in the kitchen making a
damson pudding for dinner.
She looked up as Fanny came
flying in.
“I thought you never were
coming, Fan,” said she. “Did
you bring the powdered sugar?’
“Here it is.” Fanny flung a
little paper on the table. “But oh
Alma! the dinnei-party at the
Grange ia to be on the seven
teenth, aad papa is to be one of
(lie invited guest 1”
Alina Leslie paused in her taek
of sprinkling snowy sugar over
tie crushed, purple damsons in
the plate.
•‘Oh, Fanny !” suid she. “Bui of
course he cau't go. Ho has no
coat fit 10 be seen at a dinner
ty to he seen in Colonel Lyuticlds
house-”
“Alma he must go 1”
“How can he, Fanny ?’
“It will be such a treat fox him,
Alma, to meet, those scientific
gentlemon, and get a glimp e of
the world ho has so long left be
hind him,” pleaded Fanny. “Wo
must manage it somehow !”
Alma knitted her black brows
together.
“How much money is there in
the drawer, Fan t she asked, ah
ruptly.
“1 don't quite kowD —fifteen
dollars, 1 think ”
“All this proves the uapossibili*
LAWRENCEVILLE G-A Tusday July 18£6
ty of our flue dinner party, Fan,”
said Alma, shrugging her should
ers. "Filte u dollars would just
about purchase the cloth for a
new coat.”
Fanny looked gravely at her
sister,
•■Well.’she said, “that is all I
want dive me the cloth, and I’ll
make the coat.’’
“What nonsense, Fanny !”
“I*, isn’t nonsense a t all,”
“You make a broadcloth coat.”
‘•Why shouldn’t I? Didn’t I
make a cloth ulster for myself,
and make it nice, too. ’
“Iltil you are not a tailor!”
“I’ll be a tailorass, which is just
as good.’
“You have no pattern, Fan.’
“I cun rip papa’s old coat apart
and get 'he pa'tern from that, Al
ma Where is it. Is he wearing
it now ?’
“He has got on that old dress
ing gown of his,” said Alma.
“Then get the coat —that's a
dear —and rip it carefully apait,”
said Fanny, “while 1 gc down to
the store and bvy the broadcloth
We haven’t a second of time to
loose.’’
The next two days were days of
cutting, bile lung, pressing, ctflcu
latirig, in the big, sunny south
room which the Leslie girls called
their boudoir.
Old Mr. Leslie sat among bis
dusty tomes aud ponderous dic
tionaries, with a pencil back of
each ear and a pen in his hand,
making notes and scribbling of
paragraphs, all unconscious of
what was going on around him.
“If I’m to tie Hi that dinner-par
ty of savants,’’ he said to Alma,
“I bus settle this question as to
the authenticity of the Endoic
monograph. ’
“Ceitainly, papa,” said Alma, in
an alst acted way, us she hemmed
a new black silk cravat, and pon
dered as to the practibility of new
g’oves, and whether her father
oould be induced to wear them if
they were bought.
“Papa,” said Fanny, the ev6
ning before the eventful day. “wo
want vou'o try on yon coat to
night.”
“To iry on my coat!' vaguely re
pealed the philosopher. “What
coat ? what tor ?’
Ob, just to see if it’s all right !’
said Fanny, not without a hide
qualm of lerror list her father
should discover the pious fraud
aud object to wear homemade gar
meuts,
Absent y, Mr Leslie rose up,
divested him* elf of his fadod dres
sing gown, and put on the new
coat
“Doos it feel quite comfortab/e,
papa ?’ said Alma.
“Very nice, my dear —very nice,’
said philosopher. “Really / didn’t
Know that old coat looked so nice.
Take it away, daughter, and brash
it thoroughly, and have it ready
for me tosmoriow, with a fresh
necktie auev a clean pocket naud
kerct ief-’
Aud once more he pirn grd into
the depths i f the Eudeic mono
»rap question.
‘•Fanny,” said Alina, iu a low
voice, “it’s a -access !’
“Alma,” responded Fanny, in
the same tone, ‘I knew it would
be !’
Mr. Leslie went to the dinner
party at Lynfield Grange, and as
t nished several dozen other old
gontlemen by the depth of his
wisdom and the profundity of his
learning, and nobody discovered
that the icmemade coat was not
the bes from a New York clothier
But Fauny Leslie was not dts
tined to hear the last of that colt,
Miss Helena St. Jacquiu, who had
chanced to surprise them at their
task, whispered it mysteriously to
her dearest friend Mrs. Emerson. j
“it was Fanny,” said Miss St. |
Jacquio. “1 saw her myself, pres ;
sing eut the seams of a coat with j
a prodigious smoothing iron—a j
man’s coat! They tried to vbuf
fie it out of sight as soon as pos
sible, but tney wern’t quick
enough for me.
“Well,” said Max Lynfield care
lessly, ‘ why shouldn’t they sew
men’s clothiDg as wed as womens
worsted work *’
Mrs. Emerson elevated her pret
ty nose
“I’m afraid ; ” saio she, ‘we shad
have to leave the Leslie girls off
our list or the charade parties
next winter.’’
Max Lynfis d rose up in exceed
i ing great wrath,
-Then you may leave me off.
too !' said he, aud stalked out of
ifie room.
He went straight to ihe old
stone house. Aanny w.ts in the
garden, gatnering chrysantheun s
(Treat white fringed heuuties.
“Fan,’ said he, ‘if you had want
ed money, you ought nave come to
mt) Hftvuu’l we been friends
long enough to induce you to put
unv confidence in me t
Fanny looked at him in serene
snrpr se.
•But, Max,' said she, *we don t
waut money—no moie than unsual
that ie to say: Everybody wants
Our Oivu Srctlon — Fid Tjub'tr Fjf I/y Ailrancetue>il.
j money, 1 suppose,’
“Then,’ said Max, “what’s all
i tins story about you taking in
tailor-work?’
j “About my taking iu tailor
-1 work ?’
| “Yes. Miss iSt. Jacquiu saw
you working on it.’
“Did .she?" Fanny's cheeks flam
ed scmlet. “Miss ,St. Jacquiu had
■ better have been attending* to her
own business. But since she has
told you Luff a i tory, I may as
| well supply the other half. lan
sure it is no secret.’
And she told Max ihe whole of
the simple tale.
“Fan, you're a trump!’ said he,
•‘and you ieal!y made that coat
yourself ?’
“I really made that coat myself
—with a little help from Alma!’
proudly spoke Fanny
“I should like a daughter like
• you—that is to say, when I devel
op iuto an old gntleman of scion
tific tastes,’ said Max.
I “Oh, you 11 never develop into a
scientists,’ said Fanny, “you are a
i deal to active and wide awake
You’re not half wise enough.”
At this Max’s houesi counte
nance fell.
“I knew it,’ said he sorrofully.
.‘You despise me. You think I
am a dunce.’
' Fanny dropped all her liowyer.s
in Lor consternation.
‘Oh, Max,’ she cried, “1 don’t
despise yon at all I like you !'
“That isn’t the question,’ suid
Max. moodily. “Tue qntsdou is,
do yon love me ?’
“Max.’
“Fanny! No- stay tiere ! Un
less you jump down ihe terrace,
yon can’t gel away from me. And
I’m determined to have an an
swer.
He had the answer- And ihe
answer was “Yec"
Airs. Fielding, ?ne pretty widow
was deeply annoyed); and Misv St.
-laeqian raved.
“Ah, you see,’ Mr. Lynfield sf
terward said, “1 never should have
known how much I cared for Fan,
if I hadn’t heard those spiteful
cats criticising her ’
SAM JONES’ SAYINGS.
I’ll wear garments made of wire
before I'll wear garments made at
thirty cents a dozen.
Every barroom for Is u rerniting
olfice for hell.
Sow whisky and you'll reap
drunkards.
Cnrist won’t slay iu a house
with a cellar full of whiskv.
There is such a tbidg as a taco
running out iu dudes, aud God
knows I'm glad of it.
The most demoralizing and
dan,ning thing and die most insid
ious is ihe city club.
t’xe seen muu converted from
the barrooms ai d from every place
on earth, but never, never, never
have I seen a member of a eity
club converted.
I uever saw a first class billiard
player w jo was worth the powder
aud lead to kill him.
What is a town woman but a
couutry woman with Sunday clothes
on ?
I’d rather be lead than be in
fashion.
Religion don't help a man quit
his meaness, but it helps him to
stay quit.
Doubts are but the children ot
sin.
Repetaoce is quitting your mean
ness
I'm not a muddy physician, and
am not kin .o any.
Infidelity is uiuesteomks mouth.
An liouest mau who's becking
after God is as sure of heaven as
the mau who is on a full tilt to ;
glory.
li’u not whether you are protty
smart or rich, but whether you are
c onsecrated.
If exer my daughters cut off any
of their skirts I don’i wint them
to cut from me ton.
There’s many an honest fool— ;
and alter all llu’s tne bust cl ss
I’m sorry for a fellow wbo’se
Sot nothin'* but money -when
that’s out lie’s ont.
It you won’t pay your debt no
body will pay ymi.
/ would rittier do anything
than stand up before the tongue
of a mad woman.
The biggs si fool I know is the
woman who marries a man know
ing all the time that he’s dissipat.
ed.
God gave a woman a little fist
and never adjusted her life and
character to guue aud pistols
Y'mi in ike the online bitter and
get auoiy because your husbands
bav it ain’t sweet.
You can’t control your husband
' i>y arguiueut and dictation.
lam sorry for any woman who
will sit aud beat gossip idiom her
us band.
The switch is good in its place
and its place is on the tree.
A geutle horse works anywhere,
so does a genth Methodist or Prea
liyterian.
Pind a man better than your
self; stay by yourself, tin ugh you
may be with the biggest rascal in
town;
A creed is tint ‘lie skin of truth
sot op and stuffed with something
—sometimes with sawdust and
sand-
You can’t follow a creed ; it’s
got no legs. Yon have to tote it,
vVueu a preacher and a church
haven’t get much religion they
must have a creed
There's many a soul in heaven
to-day who never saw a creed or
heatd of one.
You can’t argue a man into re
]igiou, and a man can’t argue his
way into heaven.
I like a man who can prove by
hie wife that ho's got religion.
The way 10 get more gra«6 is to
use what you’ve got.
Whenever a fellow is out of a
job he sitß right down and goes
to telling lies on Sam Jones.
Some men are always locking
back to the time of their conver
sion instead of foaward to their
duty.
He who dressee, eats and sleeps
wisely is physically religious-
A true g'eutleman never swears
If the devil wuntr to catch an
ordinary sinuer Vie covers up his
hook, but if he wants to catch a
prolane sinner he drops dowu tho
plain hook and tliefoo l garbs it.
God gave you six days ami oue
to ketp hallowed and you wan? to
steal that ore.
1 like a blooded horse, but I de
spise the tool who will get ou him
and rim Luin to hell.
I d ua soon catch my sou with a
sheep ou his back as a lottery tick
e) in hit pocket.
A man who tries to run a home
wiili a deck of cards is a fool.
SHOUTING IN CHURCH PRO
HIBITEDBYLAW
A novel case has just beep tried
in * Texas court of justice, upon
the peutiontion of eitizens claim
ing that the shouting in a colered
church iu ihe neighborhood was a
misiance. Alter tieairing the less
timouy of twenty wit esses, Judge
A.dridge gave the following de->
ci-iou: “Constitution guaiantees
perfect freedom of consc.encc. No
court of law can dictate how a man
shall worship, but me exercise of
that right must not in’erfuru with
the rights of another. A man has
the rig til to enjoy but not to in
jure; the right to maintain, but
not to trespass. Shouting m re
ligious worship may be a mattei
of couscieuce, but it does not gel
bovoud State regula'ions by reass
on of that. I do not think that
noise is a part of religion, but I
may not be « good judge ot that.
It seems to me only the result of
emotional exeiVemeut, such as may
bb found iu conventions or tho
atrea. It may or m*y not be nee-,
essary iu roligibn, but cau also oe
a nuisance. A man has the right
to shout as long and loud as he
pieases, provided he does not dis
turb others. .Sleep is essectial,
and to rcb a man of sleep is as
much su infringement of his rights
as if he weie robbed of his chat
tels.
“The order of the court is that
upon petitioners giving bond ia
the sum of SSOO, the clerk of this
court will issue a writ oi injunction
restraining the defendants from
disturbing petitions or permitting
(he same iD said church by loud
and universal or unreasonable
noise
Little Cuarley Gailey, of Conyers
' ties a most complete piece of skill
ful mechanism, made by himself
in the shape of a chair made inside
of a bottle, I'ue bottle is about an
inch uquar and the mouth is very
small, The carr was made by pub*
ting m and arranging sue piece at
a time
I A CATEGORICAL WITNESS.
“Do you know tho witness well ?
i aoked the lawyer,
“Never knew him sick,’ replied
the wituess.
“No levity,” said the lawyer,
sieruly, “Now, sir, did you ever
: see the prisoner at the bar V
“Had many a driuk with him at
the bar.'
j “Answer my question, sir,’ yell
jed the lawyer- “How long have
; you known tbe prisoner ?’
“From two feet up to five feet
ten inches ’
“Will the court make the— *
“1 have; jour Honor,’said die
wituess, anticipating the lawyer,
“I have answered the question- I
knowed the prisoner when he was
ahoy two feet loug aud a man
five feet ten.’
The lawyer arose, placid both
nauds on the fablie u frent of him,
spread his legs apa>'t, leaned over
ihe table, and said :
‘•Will you tell ihe court wAat I
yen about this case ?’
“That ain’t his name.'
“ R’tmt ain’t his name ?l
“Case,’
“ H’lio said it was?’
“You did. You wanted to '
to know what I knew abotil this |
Case—his name is Smith,’ |
“Your Honor,’ howled the law I
jer, plucking his beara out by the !
roots, “will you make this muu an- j
swer ?'
“Witness you must answer the '
questions put to you.’ said the
Judge
“Land o’ Gosht.n, your Honor, j
hiiin't I bin doin’ it ? Let the
conusel tire away. I’m ready.’
’•Then,’ said the lawyer, “don’t !
beat about the bush any more.!
Yo« and this prisoner have been !
friends?’
“ifever i’
“What! wasn’t you sumuiond ]
here as a friend of iiis V
“No, sir; I was summoned hpio 1
as a-Presbyterian. Neither ol us
was over Filends; no Quaker about
him.’
“Btand dowu !’’ yelled the law- I
yer in iteeo disgost
“//ey ?’
“Stand down.’
“Can’t do it. I’ll sit down or j
stall (1 up—”
“Usher, remave that man from
the box.”
Witness rotired, muttering;
“Well, if he ain’t the thick-headed
eHt lawyer 1 ever laid eyes ou!'
SOLDIERS AND LAWYER
PRESIDENTS.
//ere is the list, and it will be
seen how soldiers and lawyers have
really monopolized the Prosidental
office:
Washington was a soldien
Adams a lawyer.
Jeflerson a lawyer,
Madison a lawyer,
Monroe a lawyer,
Jackson a soldier,
Van Buren a lawyer-
Harrison a soldier,
Tyler a lawyer.
Polk a lawyer,
Taylor a s Idler,
Fillmore a 'awyer,
Pierce a lawyer,
Buchanan a lawyer,
Lincoln a lawyer,
Johnson a politician,
Grant a soldier,
//ayes a lawyer.
Garfield a lawyer,
Arthur a lawyer.
Cleveland a lawyer.
Thus it willbs seen that soldiers
lawyers or professional politicians
are the classes to which the Pras
ideccy has actually been confined
An J yet we are the most practical
business peop’e on Ihe face of Ihe
earth.
Canton Advance. Ore voung
man whose name we well withhold,
while waiting on Go. At away, C.
5.0., to write out his teacher’s
licence last Friday iu the Clerk’s
office, let a quirt flash drop out
of his pocket, whitch broke, spill
ing the contents—brandy—over
the ti >or. This see.mos to us to n»
a bud recommendriion foa a young
man, and especially our who ex
pects to teach au Ide ar example
for the young, The say the leabt
of ig (he by any one, much less a
young mru ami would-be teachei,
is very unbecoming we Lobe this
little “slip” will be worth mutch to
him in the furtur, and that uevvr
again can whisky be saielltd on
his breath er about feus person.
JOHN T. WILSON, Jit., Publisher
i THE MAN WHO ADVERTISES
j He’s just i bit ecstatic but not a
whit rheumatic, and lie does it
up emphatic wheh he sends a
on.'iuoss “ad.”
And he cuts a knowing caper as
he says. “Put in the paper, at
the top of the highest coluuit >
if you wish to make uie glad.
“Start it with your biggest let
ter, set it up a little better than
that fellow's ad. across the way.
“I waul it fixed up oiee at ihe
obepest kiud of pries—l’m go
ing to see if advertising dosen’i
pay.
Now every Spring and winter bs
rushes to the printer, and in the
time of Summer and the Fall.
Ami his copy is so plain you can
read and come again—oh! ihe
nun who advertises knows it all.
Then the paper man sits down and
scratches on his crown and hits
his scalp a fearful kidd of thud.
Ha’s thinking as he's winking ;
“Were eolumus made all top,
my business I could drop, be
fat, rich and slick as mud.
HUMOROUS.
Firm friends—Partners’
A mad wag—A mad dog’s tail
Drawing iu&irumeuta -Mustard
plasters
Curious tra&fomatlon—W non
a nurse is turned into a pasture.
Telephone is feminine—lt talks
back.
The tabor qursttor, with tiamps
iu kow they cau mintage to avoid
it.
“We meet but to pari,” as the
brush iu the dude’s baud said to
tue comb.
Modis> Worth is realiy recog
nized by society women. lie
makes dresses in Paris
You might as well try to squencli
au Irishman’s love < f country as
undertake te convince a young
mother that her baby is not ‘for-,
ward for its age.”
A young lady, on being asked
what celling she wished her sweet
heart to follow, uublushingly re
plied (hat she wished him to be a
husbandman.
Mtggie (to her stepfather, wh >
is vory popular with the children)
—I wish you had been here wbeu
our other papa was alive. You
would have liked each other so
much.
A clergyman who married four
couples in one hour the other day,
remarked to a frieud that it w.»s
“pretty fust work.’ “Not very,”
responded his friend, “only four
knots au hour.”
“ Thomas, spell weather,” said
the master “W-. a.e->h-i-a-e-i,
weather,” “You mar sit down,
| Thomas. You've given us the
worst spell of weather we've had
this year.”
IT OCCASIONALLY HAPPENS
Two residents of this Territory
were talking of a young man, a
fried of one, who was coming out
from the States Said ouu of them.
“Whti are yov going tn havj
him be when he gets here?”
“Well, I don’t hardly know
whether to advise him to set up
fur a doctor or a lawyer.”
“Why not have him say ha’s a
newspaper man?”
“I might of couise—he really
has a little experience int hat busi
ness —used to drive the dray that
carried the paper over to the
editor down there where be lived
but he baa always been used to
j living prety well and I don’t kuo w
as he’d Jikod iu“
j “Yes, that so. Guess you better
uaM him a lawyer.” “Yea I reckon.
Court will be in sessioo here
then and he cau stop in and get.-
aduiif/ud to (he bar while he’s
coming over from the depot.’
A man hearing of another who
was a hundred years old, swid con
temptously; “Pshaw! what a
fuss about nothing. Why, if my
grandfather were alive he would
now be a hundred aad fifty years
•Id;
GHIXXETT HERALD
A WIIFJC AWAkiii OOttVfY KfikVal #AP£B
"""" " "" » ■P" 1 . . ..j -i. .u.
JOB PRINTING
A SPECIAL FEATURE
book work, l;gal blanks, letter
heads, note heads, bill heads, puss
era, curds, envelops—everything
u job printing line done in neat
and tasty style au>i on short wh
dee. Prices low aud wore guar
anteed; Cali on us.
1 Ur Hkkald is the besi AJvet*
tisiug medium in North-east eor
giu, ou account oi its extensive
oiroulat.ou.
NO 27
WHAT HE WANTED
“I waut,” uo said, as he heipeef
himself to a lignt lunch of ctieeue,
a quart of luedford rata for bathing
purposes, half a pound of sugar
aud four lemons
You know wiiat I told you Mr.
Slugg. ’ said the grocer.
‘T rtcall (he .nan.t perfectly, Mr.
Soper; bui this uuuo l waut to
pay cash.”
He got his goods und w u s
walking toward the door with
them. wLhn the grocer said;
“Her you, Slugg, I thought you.
wantid to pay cash?”
‘Sol do-’ rejoined the other;
•‘but nnfori unatelj, l cin’t-”
THE BISCUITS WERE HEAVY.
4hf£>e tea table:
dear, I have a suggestion
to offer.’
“Well, wha* Is it, pray ?’
“Il is that we have these biscuits
adorned with pained decorations
>f Japanese design, apply for a
copyright and get some wholesale
stationer dowu tows to introduce
them to the ttudeas Mikads paper
weights. What do you say V
But she was silent, 7 "j
LIFE OFTHE [’ARTY.
Brown bad lost his wife aud was
niskiugouta list of those who
were to he especially invited to
the fuuural ceremonies
Aw intimate friend looked ever
his shoulder
“You surely are not going to
forget Jones?”
“Jones?"
“Why, certainly. We coulin’2
get along without bim.H e’ll be
the vary life and soul of the
psriy.”—Tld Bits.
A few dayrsage Jeff Lane pro
sen(od to tts Macon pud'ic lidra
ay a well preserved cCby cf the
Loisuville Gazette aud Repud
lican Trumpet, published in
Louieville f»a., and dated Adril2B,
1802 It is very neatlf piiuted,
t/tongh (he news is quite old when
coin'vared with the nioluru meth
ods o fnews transmission On
April 'JH it prinls the proceedings
of UougFeis of Apnlo. jf regnrilH
priming the foreign toipne of
Fsqmary a- quite a srtoku of en
terprise Louisville wee the capital
of the State and Josian Tatinall
was Governor
In Jones County Mondy the 11.
year old daughter of Mr rnd Mrs.
J. w. Stripling was working about
the wash plaod where her mother
had a fire and was washing, and
denly the girl went too near the
fire .her dress caugbc, ahd in an
instano Let body was tuvelosed in
flames The mother seemed too
p lulyzed tererder mutch as-is
luuce, aud stood and watched the
fire consume her chiolrf. After nee
«ktiling was extinguished. Dr. W.
C. Gibson, cf Macon, was sent fi r
and hurried out ther, only to fied
the girl a corpse
Last Saturday at Milford a
dilticuity pocuared between A* a
•loses andanold gentleman by the
name of Stewart adorn some
money Jonts was due Slower
They were prevented from doing
any injury to each other, but one
morning this week Jonss accom
panied py his brother want to the
home of Mr Stewart and, at the
poin or a pistol, tdniiuisterdd a
most cruel besting to the old maD,
Pud lie ind’guatiou is very great
sgainst the Jcnec drotl •«. war
rants have been »erved on them.
A broker not long ago, who ee
cortiug home tt fair damsel, asked
her wbat soit of “money” she
liked best. Of course the blushiug
beauty instan ly suggested “mat
limony.” What interest does ft
bring?” inquird the mau of curent
funds aud westeru wildcat ais
oonnts. “If prop*rlyiuvested‘” falt
ered the chanter, “.f properly
invested it will donble the origin*
al stock every twe yeais
Senator J ones, of Florida, has
been uken as an example of deno
/mu by a young man of Elmspert,
Fa., who is in love with a young
female neighbor. Ho insisted up
ou 'seeing her home from church'
the other night She ocjected.
//e insisted. She slapped his face,
He [ llowed her aud entered the
house. She got a whip and drove
him out He lingered on the piaz
ze. She drove . hiui off. He say a
he will have tnat girl yet,