Newspaper Page Text
VOL. XXVI. NO 12
AN INSULT TO THU HOG.
Sonin witty paragrnphist
■i-nks to insult the Porcine fam
ily hy this comparison:
Men are just like hogs, how
ever distaatful this may sound
to the hogs. When a hog gets
an ear of corn, every other hog
will trot along behind him,
squeal and whine and toady for
a bite, but just let the front
hog get fast in a crack and
every eon of a sow will jump on
him and tear him to pieces.
Just so with men. As long as a
man is prosperous and has
money he can’t keep his friends
otf with a baseball bat. The
minute he is unfortunate and
his wealth is gone ho is not only
snubbed by his former friends
but they at once begin to do
him all the harm possible.
When a man starts up grade
the world falls behind and push
es. When he starts down grade
the world steps to one side and
greases the Hack. ”
LOYALTY TO HOME.
One of the finest traits in the
character of a man is loyalty
to home. Stand up for your
community under any anil all
circumstances. Preach it ev
erywhere you go and let the
beauties of your home surround
ings be the burden of every
•ung. It makes no difference
if others point out imperfec
tions, do you show up the ad
vantages in such a manner as
to make the drawbacks appear
triviul.
Never acknowledge a lack of
excellence in your home insti
tutions. There are always an
abundance of good things that
you can say about your home.
J) t ver grow weary in well doing
for rest ussured that your loy
alty will bear a rich harvest in
days to came. Man is a grega
rious creature. No mau lives
fm himself alone, and a com
mon cause should animate and
inspire us all.
If an individual oj- corpora
tion start* an enterprise in
your community do not shy off
and predict failure. Give it
your hearty encouragement and
substantial support whenever
possible and your reward is ccr
ijpq jii after days. Loyalty to
pome *nd lioijio surroundings
cost nothing and there is no in_-
vostnmnt morn lastingly profit
aide. —Rome Tribune.
HAD BEGUN TO PROSPER.
ft writer in the Detroit Free
|V‘sa tells a pnt|i,<ticu|ly bp:
morons story of u friend of liis,
Jack Negley, u Cumberland far
mer.
The writer hud lent Jack a
few dollars, with which to buy
• pair of steers and bad received
from him many visits of apolo
gy, for Jack wns an homed man
and did not enjoy being in debt
He was a renter, and at least
every other season he was oc
cupying a different farm. By
my advice, he had moved the
year before into an entirely
new field, a dozen miles from
his usual haunts, and I had not
•een him for several months.
When I did see him, at lust, it
was by accident, as business
called me into bis neighborhood
As 1 rode past Ins place ho
hailed me from the corn Held
and came out to the fence.
“Hello,” I exclaimed. “Is
this your farm ?’’
• • Y«*«, ami I jed come over to
tell yon, colonel, that I’ll lie
r, *dv to pay part. <>f that claim
uv yotir’n afore long.”
4, Y< u must be doing well ?’’
“I think I’m doing Inst rate
and I'm powerful obleoged to
you, fir, for hcadiu me this
way.”
“I’m always glad to help, if
1 can.’
‘‘l knowed that, colonel, and
that’s why 1 come away over
here ho fur from home. Hit’s
kinder strange to me, but ez
long ez I’m doin ez well ez 1 am
I‘m a-goin to stand hit.’
“Are you mukmg any mouey,
Jack ?’
.luck s face brightened per
ceptibly '
“No, I ain’t, colonel, but
I’m losin it slower than I ever
done in my life afore I ’
Mrs. Gossip—Mr i’utfingtou
says that he is wholly a self
made man.
Miss Pertly —It is commend
able in him to own up to it;
munv a man would have blamed
it on Ins wife.
HE GWINNETTHaBWP
MRS. HOLMES’ HELP.
UY HI'SAN AKCHKR WEISS.
“No, siij” said Farmer
Holmes, ns lie energetically
knocked the ashes out of his
pipe agaiust a projecting stone
of the kitchen fireplace —“no
sir I You may marry the girl
if you choose, for I can’t pre
vent that: but I repeat that if
you do, she nor you shall ever
tind a home beneath my roof.
That’s all I’ve got to say.”
“But, father, once for all,
what is your objection to Miss
Weston?”
“Ain’t she a city girl, sir—
city born and city bred?”
“Granted. But is that h
crime or a disgrace?”
“Don’t she dance and play
the pinny?”
“Yes; but —”
“Don’t she wear her hair friz
zled and crimped over her fore
head like our two-year old
bull?” •*
“She dresses her hair as
other ”
“And don’t she wear flounces
and furbelows, and fardingales,
and a lot o’ other nonsense, un
til she looks like our rutiled
pullet, with the feathers all
a rued the wrong way?”
“Really, sir ”
“Yes, really sir, you can’t
deny it. And really, sir, that
shows that she’s no fitting wife
for u farmer’s son, or a fitting
member of a farmer’s howse
hold. Of w hat use would she
be here, I’d like to know?
What ean a city-bred girl do
but paw the pinny, and wriggle
about in her finery, and turn
up her nose at everything good
and useful? No, sir. Go and
marry the girl, if you please,
but she’ll never come here to
idle about, and give herself airs
and be waited op like a prin
cess. That'* all I’ve got to
say,” concluded the old gentle
man, crushing down his hat
upon his head, and stumping
vigorously out '»f the kitchen to
look after things in the barn
yard,
All this is,
of course, the mutter of it,
merely, softened and doubly
refined—did Richard. Holmes
find himself compelled to re
treat to Clara Weston on his
next weekly visit to the city.
Ifuy qt!)pr*i*f> |lflpxp)»}i}
to her the difficulty of the. situ
ation.
He was a young country doc
tor, who hud but recently ob
tained Ins diploma in the city,
win re he bad become engaged
jq pretty Mj*# Wt'sflio. H e
had iinlhjug but tuieut tu begin
on; for his father though rich,
was parsimonious as regarded
money. Yet, living at home
on the farm, as his parents de
sired Ip' should do, bis expenses
would be few, ami he might
soon get into a good practice,
Certainly he could not ut pres,
.■ot afford an independent homo
of h s own to which to take bis
wjfe; and to wait from three to
live or ten yoars-«.psh»w 1 it
wasn't to be thought of,
Clara did not look at ult hurt
or oil ended when told the far
mer’s ideu of the capacity of
city girls. On the contrary,
she laughed, and seemed quite
amused.
“Ho your father thinks 1
must be a mere doll? Do you
know, Richard, that papa calls
me u famous housekeeper, and
that it was 1 who made the
rolls and the cake we had for
tea? and 1 who k<sjp the parlors
in order and the housekeeping
accounts, and in short —nut tu
overpraise myself—attend to
everything in the house?”
"You! Is it possible, dar
ling?’' exclaimed delighted
Richard.
“And 1 would wager you auy
thing you please that I could
be of more ‘use’ to your mother
than the most accomplished
help she can hire in the coun
try, ’ continued the girl, toss
ing her ’frizzled” head with u
pretty air of mock vanity.
“Suppose we try that,” sug
gested the lover, with a sudden
bright idea, “My parents have
never seen you, and I am sure
that it requires only that they
should know you amt your
housekeeping accomplishments
to appreciate you as you de
serve.”
So they tulked it over and
agreed to a plan that was to ef
fect tins itesi ruble consumma
tion; the first step of which was
LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, JUNE 2nd 1896.
a private marriage, known on
ly to Miss Weston’s own fami
ly.
“Humph!” muttered Farm
er Holmes looking askance at
the new help which his wife
had engaged; “humph, she
don't look fit for much with
such hands and such a waist.”
“Fit? Why you haven’t an
idea of all she’s done todnyl”
answered Mrs. Holmes, enthusi
astically. “She’s swept the
parlor carpet with a damp
broom, dipped iu something or
other —a little alum iu it, I be
lieve—and made the colors
come out as fresh and clean as
when twas new. She tells me
that if the brooms are dipped
iu hot. suds, once a week or so,
they’ll grow very tough and
sweep lietter and last longer
than a half dozen ordinary ones.
Then she’s cleaned up the old
gilt frames that 1 wanted regil
ded, until they shine like gold;
and told me how I could make
a better pudding with less eggs
—that very pudding you praised
at dinner—and how to take the
stains out of the new table
cloth; and now she’s altering
the pattern of my new dress,
that I never could get to fit,
and making it look like a differ
eat thing. If she goes on so,
she’ll be a treasure, despite her
white hand* and small waist —
and pretty face, too —for that
matter!”
Squire Holmes, as he was
called in the neighborhood,
found hi* hum* mure tidy and
cheerful looking; his Sunday
hat better brushed; his Sunday
cravat better ironed, and his
handkerchiefs better hemmed
than they had been for many a
year. Also, his wife, who of
!ate lmd become fretful and
complaining of overwook and
the worry of inefficient help,
now appeared wonderfully
brighteued up. And, indeed,
poor Mrs. Holmes felt as though
a burden of daily care was re
moved from her shoulders; and
she became (juite grateful and
attached to the pretty, cheer
ful, obligiug girl, who verily,
as she observed to a neighbor,
was like a sunbeam and a bless
ing in the house. She only
wished that she had such a
daughter, she added, sjgbing;
find the wonder to her was that
Richard should he so indiffer
ent to Mirandy, since he ap
peared to have given up ull
thought of that city Miss Wes
ton, who would have been a
very unsuitable match for a
fn r iw? r 's *oi| und a ununhy d«c=
tor.
“Dick,’ 1 said Hquire Holmes,
poking tu the ashes with the
eud of his cane, “Dick, you
don't go to see that girl, Miss
Weston, now, eh ?"
"N*i, air." answered Dick,
demurely,
“Glad of it I Thought you'd
take a sensible view of the
thing in time. Still, a young
fellow like you ought to marry.
'A doulur uan never succeed
well in his profession without a
wife,”
“I agree with you, sir,” said
the doctor.
“If yoq could find a suitable
girl now,”suggested the squire,
cautiously! ”U tidy, industrious,
smart good-tempered, good
looking "
“Dear me, father I” interrupt
ed Dick, in a tone of astonish
ment, “where on earth am 1 to
(bid such a combination of |>er
fections ?”
“Why ?” sajd the aid man,
looking up sharply, “there’s
Miraudy. fur iustanuu.' 1
“Oh!" said the doctor turn
ing over the leaves of a big
book.
“Yes, sir; and a nicer girl
couldu’t be found this side o'
the ocean, sir. That’s my
opinion.”
It was the doctor’s also,though
he did not juwt then choose to
express it.
Bo things went on for a week
or two longer, Dick and Miraudy
seeming rather to avoid each
other. The old people were
concerned, and became, of
course, more than ever eager
for the match.
Squire Holmes knew that
Miraudy was of a good and re
spectable family, being relat'd
to Squire Kllis, of Hopetowu, a
very worthy and much respect
ed man; wheretofore there could
be no objection on that score
to his sou marrying her. but
j Dick was insensible—positively
stupid, the old nutn raid; and
it became necessary to fake him
in hand “down-right.”
“Look here, Richard,” said
he, solmenlv, “what is your ob
jection to Mirandy Parsons,
that you can’t take a fancy to
a girl above all others calculat
ed to make you a suitable w ife?’
“No objection to the young
lady herself, sir,” responded
Richard, gravely.
“Then why don't you marry
her ?” bringing his cane em
phatically down upon the floor.
“Because, sir,” answered
Richard .hesitatingly, “beonuse,
father, to tell the truth, I—l
am already married!”
“What! ” roared the old man.
“Yes, sir; I’ve l>oen married
two months,” confessed Rich
ard, penitently.
“You have—and you dare
tell me so! Married to whom?”
he roared again.
“To Miss Clara Weston, sir.’
This was too much. The old
gentleman was speechless; and
his wife, scarcely less agitated
than himself, shrieked to Mi
randy for water. She fancied
she saw symptoms of apoplexy
in her husband,
A few gulps restored him to
sppech, and the first use he
made of that faculty was pe
remptorily so order his son to
quit the house,
“I will, sir,” said the doctor,
calmly) “hi)t pot until you
have seen my wife. lam sure
you w ill like her. Bhe’s in the
next room, dutjfplly waiting to
be presented to y«u and my
mother. Conte here, Clara, my
dear. ”
And Mrs. Holmes’ help,blush
ing and a little frighto I, a I
vanced aud stood bv tin- due
tor’s side.
“This is my wife, ipy ffii>\i
father and mother--Clam Wes
ton, the city girl. I hope you
will forgive the innocent plot,
but I wished to prove to you
that she could do something
more than frizzle her hair, paw
on pjaqo* and wpggffi ’pm “it
in her finery, I hope you will
forgive mo the trick, in consid
eration of my giving you such a
daughter as Mirundy,” said the
doctor, dutifully.
The mother, her (jrst gslqi)
ishfWtpt spltsidiud, w«s Mftgil.v
repouuiled tu the state iff things,
and in her heart sec ret ly ap
proved of the young couple'sj
proceedings.
Perhaps, also, in his secret
heart, her husband did jhg
thfitlKil to> tknight Iffop
mr to grumble and growl, for a
day ur two, over h(s son's ute
dutiful couduot iu marrying
without his consent and impos
ing a wife upon him, in his own
house, as somebody oUe. Ri|i
still, considering that ni,iy good
name of it, a good that, without
the trick, would have been lost
to them ull, the old gentleman
magnanimously made up his
mind to forgiveness, and ev> ■■
Consented tu hi» happy wile
proposal of a big dinner in
honor of their son aud his pret
ty bride.—Saturday Night.
Around the world in fifty;
minutes is the record Unit hu*
but'it made by electrioity, liml
here is the sentence that Di
Channoey Dejieiv composed for
the occasion: “God creates,
nature treasures, science uti
lises electrical power for the
grandeur of nations and the
peaoe of the world.”
President Chandler, of th-
Postal Company, sent the mes
sage from the Electrical Exposi
tion in New York, and Thomas
A. Edison received it back again
at the same point after it had
traveled 27,600 miles in Hftv
minutes.—Augusta Chronicle.
OLD PEOPLE
Who require medicines to regu
late the bowels and kidneys wi 1 1
Hnd the true remedy in Electric
Hitters. This medicine does not
stimulate and contains no whi -
kv nor other intoxicant, Int
acts as a tonic and alterative.
It acts mildly uu the stomach
and bowels, adding at ivngtli and
giving tone to the organs, there
hy aiding nature in the (lerfonii
mice of {lie functions. Electric
Hitters is an excellent uppeti/cr
and aids digestion. Old People
Hud it just exactly whn’ they
need. Price 50c and |1 per but
tle at A. M. Winn’s drug store
She—Why, Charles, how can
you call Miss James plain ? I
wish I was only half as good
looking.
He —You are, Hatty, and you
know it.
THE RETI'KXED PRODIGAL
I'llis is the old, old place:
the daises fleck theineado\?
still like snow:
There is the river in its noisy
*ace,
And—t here's t lie mule I mort
gaged long ago!
1 here is tin* flossy mill
Whose rotting wheels no more
make merrv rvmes;
There the church tower where
the bells are still,
And—there the grocery where
I failed six times!
There is the old town hall,
Crumbling with nge; but as I
stand and gaze
l hear no more the ancient ac
cents fall:
“I think I’ll give you ten, or
thirty days!”
Scenes of my youth—alas!
But—w hat bent figure in the
twilight chill
Comes limping tNvnrd me over
fields of grass ?
My creditor, with a remem
bered bill!
—Constitution.
LINCOLN AS AN ORATOR.
Among the many gifts thnt
made Lincoln the greatest man
of his country in the period of
its greatest trial was his gift of
stating the grandest principles
in the simplest terms, says the
New York Recorder, Hero are
a few samples of the Lincoln
style, always simple, always
-trong:
“I say that no man is good
enough to govern another man
without that other man’s con
sent. I say this js the leading
principle, the sheet-anchor, of
American republicanism.”
“As I understand the spirit
of our institutions, it is de
signed to promote the elevation
•>f m*n. I am, therefore, hos
tile to anything that tends to
their debasement.”
“I hold, if the Almighty had
ever made a set of men that
should du all the eating and
none of the work, He would
have made them with moqth*
only, and no hands) i\i d il He
had ever made another class
that He had Intended should
do all the work and none of the
eating, He would have made
them without mouths and with
all hands.”
“When the i ipm comes I shall
take the ground that I think is
right—-right for the North, for
the South for the East, for the
West—right for the whole
country. ”
“I have HO prejudice against
the Southern people. They are
just whgt we should lie in their
situation. If slavery did not
now exist among them they
would not introduce it. If it
did now exist among qs we
should pot instantly give it up. 1
“It is but a specious and fan.
tiislie arrangement of words by
which a man prove a horse
chestnut to be n chestnut
horse.”
‘ Stand with anybody that
stands right. Stand with him
while he is right, and par£*with
him when he goes wrong.’
“What would you do in my
position ? Would you drop the
war where it is ? Or would you
prosecute it ill future w ith elder
stalk squirts charged with rose
water ?
“There are already among us
those who, if the Union be pre
served, will live to see it con
tain 250,000,000 of population.
The struggle of today is not
only for today; it is lor a vast
fut lire also.”
“No men living are more
worthy to be trusted than thosej
who toil up from poverty; none
less inclined to take or touch
aught which they have not hon
estly earned.”
TWO'LIVES SAVED?
Mrs, Phoebe Thomas, of June
tion City, 111,, was told by her!
doctors she had Consumption
and that there was no hope for
her, but two bottles Dr. King’s
New Discovery completely cured
her and she says it saved her!
life.
Mr. Thou.Eggers, lil‘,l Florida
St., Ban Fraueisec, siitl'ered
from a dreadful cold, approach
ing Consumption; tried without
result everything else then
bought one bottle of Dr. King’s
New Discovery and in two weeks
wus cured. He is naturally
thankful.
It is such results, of which
these are samples, that prove
the wonderful efficacy of this
medicine in Cough and Colds.
Ffee trial tottles at A. M.
Winn’s Drqg Store. Itegular
•u» 50c and SI.OO.
HE SINGS AT Ills WORK.
“Give me the man who sings
at bis work, 1 savs some one,
"’ell, you may have him.
Take him and all his trite—
the man who sings and the man
who whistles and the man who
drums; the man who gives you
last night’s opera in what he
supposes is a fine voice, and
the man who thinks he can
whistle tiie air he heard last
week at Dulfv’s theatre. You
can have them all, says a writer
in Truth.
I don’t know exactly what
you want to do with them. Per
haps you want to hang them,
or dispose of them in some dark,
dreadful manuer, and sell their
bodies to some medical school,
but I don’t cure what you do
with them either!
1 hope I have a heart iu mv
body—and so all I ask is that
you don’t roast them alive.
For the rest, please put, them
where they will be suppressed.
I bad a fellow-bookkeeper
who used to sing at )ij g work.
That is, he thought he sang.
\\ hen he began I would usually
be in the midst of a column of
figures, fighting mv way to the
top as fast as I could. Then
he’d begin to sing. And that
whole addition would he wrong,
and 1 would have the pleasure]
of doing the whole thing over
again. I appreciated that f»d-|
low’s song, I did.
Another of the clerks thought:
ho could whistle. He used to|
preach to us about being cheer-j
fill in the midst of depressing.
circumstances, and then he
would proceed to depress them
si that we could put his advice
into practice, l(e disappeared
in some mysterious manner, 1
didn’t do it,
As for the drummer—just let
me tell you about him. First
he’d represent a body of troops
a long distance off, ami then
how they’d approach nearer
and nearer, and how tlm drum
lieats would grow louder and
louder. Then the soldiers would
lie just around the corner, and
then they’d be right iu front of
the door. Then they’d take
themselves off in the same way.
Gradually thedrum-beats would
die away in tlm distance. This,
of course, happened when the
boss was out. The boss had uu
ear for music.
We)), a!) those people came
to bad ends. They died, I
know who did it, but I’m not
guing to tell. I’m only telling
this story to warn others like
them, that they may take heed
in good time and not sing or
whistle, no mutter how well
they tli(nk they can doit, They
should remember that the man
is around who once said: “Give
urn the man who sings at his
work.”
CURIOUS FACTS.
Cleopatra had blueoyea. She
was not an Egyptian, but a
Greek, with yellow hair and
fair complexion.
The spruce forests of Maim*
are being converted into paper
pulp at the rate of 12,000 tons
a year.
The tiger’s strength
that of the lion. Five men
can easily hold down a lion;
lint nine are required to hold a
tiger.
Severul Egyptian harp* have
been recovered from tombs. 11l
! some the strings are intact, and
[give forth distinct sounds after
! a silence of HUOO yeurs.
Mr*. Marcus Roberts, of Dor-i
»et, Vt., died a few days ago,
:tg“d ninety years and six j
months, in the house in which
she was horn and had lived con*
tinuoiisiy all her life.
William Knowles, of Mitch
ell, South Dakota, tried to
commit suicide and shot him
self, the bullet passing through
his brain, but the’ only ill re
sult is the loss of sight.
Asliestos towels are among
tie* curiosities of the day.
When dirty it is only necessary
t> throw them into a red hot
tire, and after u few minutes
draw them out fresh and clean.
Triplets were born to the
wife of Ciiristiuno Marino, of
Cent redule, U 1., a few days
ago. They are ull girls and
each weighed live pounds at
birth. At last accounts all
wore doing well.
A man in Wuteiville, Mo., a
few days ago, found under a
look a letter, seuled and
stamped, which he had placed
there more than three years ug*-
to press the envelope (lap more
securely before mailing.
1.00 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE
Highest of all in Leavening Power.—Latest U. S. Gov’t Report
RPYaI
absolutely pure
A LEG SHOW IN CHURCH.
Snffern, N. Y., not long ago
had a leg show in church. Of
course it was not called by that
name by the Epworth League
of the town, under whose aus
pices it was given, nor was there
such a generous display of the
lower limbs of the ladies who
furnished the attractive part of
the exhibition as one can see in
a grand ballet.
The good brothers and sisters
called the entertainment by the
modest title of an “ankle auc
tion.”
The young ladies contributing
the attractions stood behind a
curtsin at one end of the lect
ure room of the church, the
male bidders at the other end
,of the room.
As the curtain was raised dis
playing the bewildering assort
ment of insteps, ankles and
calves the auctioneer took up
one set of these anatomical
equipments at a time and
knocked them down to the high
eat bidder.
In order to stimulate the bid
ding the curtain would be raised
a little higher evorv once in a
while, thus compelling an ex
cited man to go higher than be
had at first intended as some
more bewildering curve hove in
sight.
Of course the line of pru
dence was preserved and the
curtain was not allowed to be
raised uny higher than the knee
of the shortest young lady on
the stage.
Whenever a pair of ankles
was knocked down to a young
man he had the privilege of
taking them out to supper.
The fun conisistod in the dis
parity in beauty between the
ankles and the faces they stood
under.
Sometimes a girl with the
underpinning of a Venus of
Milo would turn out to have
(he faou of a Xuutippe. And
again a bachelor who had bid
25 cents on a pair lean calves
would find they upheld the
lovely countenance of a Re.
uamier.
Of course several preachers
iu Suffevn aud elsewhere jump
ed on the Epworth Leaguers for
raising money for charity in
suoh a novel way, but the
young people on both sides of
the curtain didn’t mind it so
long as they hud bushels of
fun.
SUMMER HOMES AND RE
SOKTS.
The Southern Railway is the
tirst of our great railway sys
tems to give information to the
public and to Ox low excursion
rates for a summer outing good
I for ruturu until October si, by
; issuing, with usual promptness,
i its Summer Home aud Resort
Hook.
It is handsome in design and
artistic in every respect having
thirty two tieautifully illustrat
d pages containing the most
complete and conveniently ar
ranged information calculated
to answer fully and satisfactor
ily every question likely to be
propounded, such as routes and
Uistancts, hotels and boarding
houses, names of proprietors,
how to reach them, rates of
board by day, week and month,
etc.
The Southern offers a choice
of mountain and seaside resortß,
the surf bathing and sea breezes
of some of the most delightful
res iris on the Atlantic Coast
or tlio cool mountain breezes of
Bwannaiioa, Asheville, Lookout
Mouutaiu and others 2,500 feet
above the sea level.
For copy of guide call at ofli
ce of any prominent coupon
agent or send 2-cent stamp to
S. 11. Hardwick, Ass’t Gen’l
Pass. Agent, Atlanta, Ua.
‘‘Which is more necessary to
mankind, the horse or the
cow?” This question was dis
cussed before a debuting society
in Hose Township, Michigan,
and decided in favor of the
horse, by an almost unanimous
vote.
The schooner Good Intent,
said to lie the oldest craft regis
tered in the official list of mer
chant vessels, is about to slurt
out on her Bt year of cruising,
from Belfast, Me., where she
had been tied up during the
winter.
HUMOROUS.
When the doctors disagree,
the undertaker is never in any
doubt.
When a girl thinks she is
looking pensive her mother
thinks she is looking bilious.
(Jura—Mr. Nicefellow said
my tace was classic. What is
classic?
Dorn— Oh, most anything
old. *
Smithers—l wish some one
would teach me to save money.
MissHope—Oh, Mr. Smithers,
this is so sudden.
It is a common saving that
lovely woman cannot keep a
secret, but who liesides herself
knows where her pocket is ?
Mrs. Fiztus—Three minutes
after the tire broke out in the
hotel thousands of people were
on the scene.
Mr. Fizfus—l suppose they
wanted to see the tire escane.
eli ? 1
Rizmog—Ziblev, your face is
a sight. Did you cut yourself
while shaving ?
Zipley—Not exactly. Per
haps it would be better to SUV
that I shaved myself while cut
ting.
How daintily across the street
A woman trips with grace com
plete,
While man, inferior in all,
(’an never trip without a fall.
Hazel—l had a good joke on
my coal man today. I told
him lie had a pretty heuvy coal
bill and he disputed it.
Nutt—Did you prove it to
him ?
Hazel—You bet. I told him
to weigh it on his own scales.
lie—l had a queer dream of
you last night, Miss Louisa. 1
was about to kiss you when sud
denly we were separated by a
river thnt gradually grew as big
as the Rhine.
She—And was there no boat
or bridge ?
Correspondence.
CRUSE.
[Last week’s letter.]
After n continued dry s|iell
we have had a goisl shower, but
too late to do iaits much good.
We have corn waist high and
cotton a foot high.
Andy Warbington, col., died
at his home near here the 22nd
iust. He was sixty-odd years
of age, and was always faithful
in the discharge of his duty.
Mr. E. M.’McDaniel left on
the 22nd, just., to visit his son
Eli at Birmingham, Ala.
What young man drank all
the water and then asked his
girl to have some?
What two young men want
to be cousins ?
Mr. Samuel Craig and family
visited relatives here the third
Sunday.
The material for the new
building here is now is now be
ing laid down on the corner of
Lawrenceville and Duluth
streets.
Mr. S. Z. Dyer and daughter,
of Atlanta, visited relatives
here recently.
One of our young men will
probably engage in business be
yond Branch ailey soon.
A black dog, supposed to lie
mad, was killed near here the
21st, inst. It bit Henry John
son, near Luxomni.
Our Sunday school is lin a
flourishing condition now. We
have, enrolled, 144 members,
Mr. O. P. Wright and family,
of Braden, visited relatives
here third Sunday.
Miss May Kobinson was the
guest of Miss Julia Hopkins tl e
10th, inst.
Mrs. Nancy Cruse is very ill.
Misses Cora Webb and Eva
Johnson sjient the night of the
I‘Jtli, inst, with Miss Juiia
Hopkins,
The people of our town are
due Mr J.B. Wright a chicken
pie for destroying four hawks
and four miuks.
Our city has recently had uu
its market a turtle weighing 15
lbs. and an owl measuring four
and a half feet.
Mr. V. G. and A. 8. Hopkins
of this place s[s*nt the 24th.
inst ~ at the commencement of
Perry-Huiney college. A nico
time was reported.