The Gwinnett herald. (Lawrenceville, Ga.) 1885-1897, March 09, 1897, Image 1

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fCXVI. NO 52 VOL. X*l ••FLECTIONS OF A vOCfiP' BACHELOR. TUT The most a nightgown ever has is tucks, but a similar robe has lace ami other things. Tlio average man would rath er have a wife whom his friends admire that the one ho admires 'himself. ♦ A wnhian may take care of her face to the last, hut she takes care of her hands and feet only till she gets married. Nobody hut a married man understands wl y women like to wear such pretty clothes where people can't see them. The man who talks about be ing walo d up with a kiss gener ally dosen’t count on having to get out of hod and fix the fur nace. The woman who insists on cleaning up a man’s desk ought to he made to marry a man who won’t stay out of the kitchen. • —New .York I’ost. third reader story. 1. When James and Henry went to work in the large shop of Mr. Brown, the manufac turer, it was often remarked that Ilenry put in his noon hour studying tlio action of the various machines and si owed a desire to r so in his business. James, on the contrary, spent all of his own time and as much of his employer’s as lie could pilfer in teaching a little dog to stand oh his hind legs, turn somersaults and do other use less tricks. 1 think any good boy cnn s“e the finish of these two young men. 2. At the end of two years Henry had risen to the position of foreman, and had under his control tnen from two to four times his age, while the idle and frivolous James was still in the wheeling-out gang, 8. At the end of five years the large shop of Mr. Brown had been closed by the trust and Ht nry was walking the side walks on his uppers, while the shallow-minded Janies was pull ing an e\pn hundred plunks per week as sole owner arid proprie tor of Signor Glaccomo’s (Vie bruted and Unique Troupe of Performing Animrls and wear it.g octoroon diamonds as bigas a hazelnut. 4. Virture is its own reward. —Cincinnati Enquirer. ATE NINKPOI'NDS OF POTATOES. Bayville, 1.. 1., owns the dis tinction of numbering anions its inhabitants one of the big gest, if not the biggest, eaters on the island. He is Edward Fleming, know among his as sociates as “Eddie Et. ” Flem ing exhibited g.iurmaiidizing tentencies at an early ago, hi* capacity in this direction firs becoming apparent when one morning lie disposed readily ol forty lnrg« p-ineakes and clam ored for more. On another occasion, when his father happened tu return h une late lor a Thanksgiving dinner, for which a large turkey hid been winked, lie found li ithing of the repa**t except a few bom s, his son having eatei the entire bird. Recently whei Fleming’s eating powers weri b ing told a friend of a rival for gastronomic honors offered to wager $5 tli at lie could product a man who would defeat Flem ing in a contest at eating boiled potatoes. The offer was promptly ac cepted by Frank I ndorhill. A few days later the rival contes tants met at u hotel, when many gathered to witness tin match. Six pounds of potatoes wer< ? laced before each, which dis' 'luming ute almost before hi* opponent had mustered cour age to make the attack. Am tlir 'e more pounds of the veg. - table were set before him These, also, with short inter missions for rest, were eaten making nine pounds. The other man by this tim had succeeded in eating only six pounds, and protested that th> match should be adjourned Tliis was done. Though th* lead which Fleming now hold is so great as practically to pre clude his opponent’s defeating him, the outcome of the cor test is awaited with inter*'at' New York Press. There are l!i7 counties in Georgia, and most of these hav> 8 county officers each while a few have only 7 There are 18i county School Commissioners and (585 members of county Boards of Education, and about 4,000 Justices of the Peace and Notaries Public. In uli, tlier. are nearly o,oo' • pttaous holding places which might be classeo as county otlices. Ripans Tabules: at druggists. Ripaus Tabules cure llalulenre. Ripans Tabules cure Indigestion. * Rlpaas Tabules cure torpid liver. Ripatu. Tabules cute Uusiueas. The Gwinnett Herald. THE CAPTAIN’S STORY. HOW HR LOST CONFIDENCE IN WOMANKIND. From London Tit-Bits. / No, I’ve never been shipwreck ed, nor been in colHsion, all the time I’ve been to sen—a matter now of over forty years. But I’ve carried some queer passengers in my time. I’ll tell you about two who exer cised a powerful influence over me; hut whether for good or evil you shall hear presently. It was in the fall of ’72, just, when on the eve of sailing, that an old gentleman stepped on hoard and hurriedly approached me. He was a tall, spare man, with iron-gray hair, and had a slight stoop at the shoulders. “Good day, captain,’ said he. “I only heard this morn ing that you were sailing for England, and I hastened down to ascertain if you con hi find accommodation for myself and daughter at so tfhort notice.” “Certainly,” I replied, “I shall ho only too pleased to take von. As it happens there three passengers hook ed this trip, and (hey an- sec ond class, so you can have the •uiloon pretty much to your selves.” He thanked me and disap peared into the saloon. 1 mar veled at his precipitancy, and wondered where the daughter was to inline from, as she was not visible anywhere. I gave instructions to the ap prentices to have their luggage conveyed on hoard, and myself superintended the stowing away of their trunks in the two best appointed cabins in the ship. While so engaged I heard-a light footfall behind me, and turning round I beheld the fair est vision of lovoliness t hat ever brightened my saloon. “My daughter, Capt. Har nott,” said Mr. Brandon, in troducing us. I was so taken aback by her exceeding beauty that I awk wardly touched my cap. and, with the wind clean taken out of my sails, stammered: “Glad to see you, miss.” She placed her soft little white hand in my big, sun browned paw, and, looking me squarely in the face out of her laughing blue eyes, said: “I’m sure we shall he good friends, captain, during the voyage. ' She spoke with a charming ' colonial accent; from that mo ment I was her most devoted, humble servant, slave, anything ! you like. I went head over #ars in love with her at first sight.* You may smile, but recollect I was a comparatively young man then. I.e tving them to arrange their •abins to their own satisfaction [ ascended the companion steps and went on deck, Itcertainly •eoupied them a considerable imfi, for neither father nor laughter appeared on deck un til file ship was well outside .he “Ileuds,” and the tug had returned to port. That voyage 1 look back upon is the happiest and saddest 1 *ver made, Miss Brandon was trandon was s splendid sailor.. In fair weather or foul she’d be on deck, delighting me with the admiration she expressed for my handsome three-masted slipper, aud the childlike nai vete of her questions. 1 used to pace the quarter deck in tlx morning, impatient for her first ippoarance. On the dullest or lirtiest day it was like a ray of sunshine suddouly bursting out from a lowering sky to see her ‘merge from the companion latch, looking as fresh as a laisy. and a thousand times .noie lovely. Of course it was only natural (bat my mates should fall ii love with her also, but she treat 'd them with marked indiffer ence, if not absolute coldness. 4er smiles were all reservedfoi me, and she lavished them up m me in no niggardly manner. There was a piano in the sa loon, nnd often in the long eve lings she would sing and play t'or my sole delectation, while 1 vould sit on a settee alongside iud gaze rnptuausly into hei pretty face. The song I liked best was “Tom Bowling,’’ and she infused such an amount ol pathos into her expression that the tears would sometimes trickle down my weather-beaten LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, MARCH 9th 1897. cheeks as she sang. Ah! those were happy days; it was heaven while i( ins'ted. I have scarcely mentioned her father yet. The fnct is, i was so engrossed with his beau tiful daughter that I didn’t pay so much attention to him as perhaps 1 ought. At the best lie was a saturine, unsociable sort of person, who seemed to prefer his own company to ot h er people’s. When not in his own cabin, where he spent most of his time, ho was walking with his hands clasped behind him,apparently deep in thought Sometimes, when standing idly at the break on the poop, I have caught myself wondering if lie had ever committed a crime, the remembrance of which was weighing heavily on his conscience. I was destined soon to learn more about him. One evening, when about nine weeks out, I was sitting.in the charthonse alone with my idol. The second mate was stepping the planks outside, old Johson was at (he wheel away behind us, and the watch on deck was lounging about forward. Some days previous to this I had the temerity to confess my love for her and asked her to be my wife. She had made me inex pressibly happy by promising, subject to my obtaing her fath er’s consent. This, after some demur*, ho had granted, and that night the future appeared | very bright, to me. We had been sitting silent, for somo time, too happy for words, gazing on the setting sun as it disappeared into a glowing mass of golden-rimined clouds on the horizon, when, to my infinite amazement, she she suddenly hurst into tears. “Darling, what is the mat ter ?” I exclaimed, in an agony us apprehension. “Oh, Alfred, I have jupt heard such a dreadful story from mv father. 1 shall never lie happy again. We can never lie married now.” “Never be married!” I ejac ulated aghast. “Why ?” “Because my father is a —a criminal. Oh, I feel so miser able, I think I shall throw my self overboard!” “Alica, for. heaven’s sake, don't talk like that, or you will drive me mad. What has he done?” “Something dreadful. Oh, don’t speak to me any more,” and she sobbeu violently. At that moment I was so mad 1 felt half inclined to go down and tear the old scarecrow out of his berth by the scuff of his neck and demand what the duee he bud done to cause my darling such poignant grief. But I didn’t. Instead, 1 drew her to my side and kissed her tears away. “Tell m<* about it,” said I, soothingly. “Well, my father, as you are aware, was an agent in one of the banks in Arlington, Victo ria, and it seems he embezzled large sums of money belonging to the bank to speculate with. Of course, he meant to replace it before the audit, when the (telicit would have been dis covered. But' ho lost it all, .liul that is why ho left the •ouu try: ” “Is that all?” said 1, with a sigh of relief. “It’s had enough certainly, but I fail to see thul in itself it forms a sufficient barrier to our union.” “But that is not the worst. My father is convinced that the police may have traced him to Melbourne and to this ship, lie declares he will be arrested on landing.” “Nothing more likely,” I thought. But I asked: “Has he any plan to suggest?” “Yes, oh, yes, if you will only assist him. But it seems too liorriblo to contemplate. He says it is his only chance to escape. “What is it, theu?” “That he should die aud be juried at tea!” she responded, .vith a perceptible shiver. “I don’t understand.” “He proposes to feign death. Then, after he has been sewed up for burial we must find the menus to liberate him aud sub dit ute something else.” The daring audacity of the proposal fairly took my breath away. If discovered, the con sequences to me in aiding and abutting a felon to escape woyld he disastrous. I resolved 1" have .nothing to do with sueli a leriminnl proceeding, but u look iof entreaty from those tearful ‘eyes mndi me falter in my reso lution. “For mv sake,” she mur mured pleadingly, placing her fair white hand on arm. Her touch thrilled me. 1 hesitated no longer, but gave an unwill ing consent. Ah, what follv j will not a man commit wlu-n in| love I Next dav it was reported that j Brandon was seriously indis j posed. I took out the inedi cine chest, as in duty bound, andjordered the cabin steward to attend him. Three day later Mr. Brandon was reported dead. When I was informed of his death I entered his cabin. He was lying in the under berth, pale and motionless as death. I felt the body; it was cold and rigid. If this were not death, he simulated it to perfection. I sent for the sail maker, who sowed the body up in my pres ence. When his task was com pleted I dismissed him, and, se curing the cabin doer inside, with a sharp knife ripped open the stitches. My hand shook painfully. What if he were really dead? ] confess to experiencing a singular feeling of relief when the mail opened his eyes, and the resuscitated Brandon sat up. I administered some brandy, which heli>ed to revive him. He quickly and noiselessly dressed himself. Then he pro duced from an American trunk a dummy figure which In- had previously prepared and weight ed, and inclosed it in the .shroud. This he sewed up with hi- mvi hands. ’ Nut a word wassp- kei by either of us. Whlfli all \wi* completed I stepped out to re connoiter. Seeing the coisi was clear, I signaled him, and he crept swiftly across the pa sage into his daughter's cabin where he concealed himself. In the first dog watch of tin same afternoon She hell com menced to toll its solemn km-l for the funeral of Anthony Brandon. Officers and men and passengers stood round mi with heads uncovered as I reai. from the Book of Coinmoi Prayer the beautiful and im pressive burial service, G«k forgive me, it was an awful mockery. I don’t know’ how I got. through with it. After ward I heard it commented that I was much affected during tin service. H eaveu knows 1 was. but ’twua with guilt nnd leur After the funeral Brundon returned to hie own cabin, which was kept constantly locked and (lie key of which 1 retained in my own possession With my connivance Alie< smuggled food to him from day to day. About two weeks after ward, proceeding up ban net under all sail, we were hailed by a tug. Anticipating danger 1 slipped down the companion way and conveyed Brandon t< my own cabin for concealment. When 1 went on deck again I was just i.l time to see a stout well-groomed party claniberiiq over the vessel's side. \\ it hunt any preliminaries he brusquely demanded: “Got a passenger by lie name of Brandon on board?’’ “I had, atranger; 1 had.” He gazed at me inquiringly “Como below sir,!' said I. As we descended he explained that he was a detectivo sent in pursuit- of Brundon, wlm had absconded from Austrailia will a considerable sum of money utid valuable negotiable securi ties, When he had produced his warrant, 1 ordered the mate to fetch the logbook, l'nder date of the !f>th of January In read this story; “Buried at sea, in latilud* 85 degrees 49 minutes north longitude 88 degrees ldmimit' west, Anthony Biandon, cabin passenger. Cause of death uu known.” He mutt' red something undei his breath which was quite un intelligible to me. Then Ii demanded to see Brandon’s <■! foots. I led the way into hi' cabin. He ransacked every trunk and portmanteau; bu not a vestige of puper »r any thing of value did he discover The expression on his face w hen he left the ship some hour# UUt was not particularly piyai- ! ant. \\ lien wt- arrived in the docks |at London - I smuggled Mr. Brandon ashore in one of his daughter’s trunks after they had been searched by the cus tom officer. No one in the ship ever [suspected the truth. Their secret- remained alone with me. It was arranged that Alice i and I should he married quietly | before setting out on my next voyage, and our honeymoon was to lie spent on the bosom of the deep. When we parted that night, she promised to com municate with me when her father had secured some quiet retreat in the country. She kept her promise. Hero is the letter. 1 have preserved it all these years. It has neither superscription nor signature. “Dear Old Captuyi —Many thanks for all your kindnesses My husband and I —for Mr. Brandon is my husband, though it was not known in Arlington —will never forget them. Pray forgive the deceit we found it expedient to practice on you in order to carry out- our plans. We are in fairly affluent circum stances, for my husband did not lose the money ir. specula ! lion as I thought it necessary Jto tell you. Dear captain, I know I can rely on you, for | your own sake, not- to inform t lie authorities about- my hus band. As lie died at sea, we expect to live securely,, unmo lested by the hank officials or the police. Goodhy forever. ’ And thut was the end of my romance. No, I never heard anything more about- them. Whether they lived t<> enjoy heir ilt-got ton gains or whet her Ik-v didn’t, I cannot tell. But iliis I do know, slu- was tlio first woman that ever fooled me, and, by heaven, she was the last. I never gave another the i-haiioe. .ROWE’S SIXTEEN WIVES. Thomas Ros e, ag'-d 2(5 years, said to bo the father of nineteen children and husband of sixteen wom“n, all supposed to be liv ing, lias furnished a list, of the women that he lu.s married and ! deserted. He knows that, the -tatute of limitation will save him from indictment fur biga my, after serving four years’ sentence. The nunjes of the wives are as follows: Mary M. Starritt, married at j Purcell, Ind., in INSti. She is short, heavy-set and 1 as blue eyes, lie lived with her about six months. Mary Brummett, married nt Miuco, I. T. Sim in a blonde. Jennie Wilson, married in i Schackleford county, Texas lennie is a brunette; short and stout. Ada Knight was married nt I Georgetown, Texas. Tall, slen der and of dark complexion; stood well in the community. Lizzie Long, martied at Gal veston. brunette, of medium size. Annie Housseau, brownvrood. Tex. A very small blonde; weighed 9f> pounds. Amy Clark, Longview, Tex. brunette; medium size. Alice Henry, Henrietta, Tex. brunette, weight I« >-> pounds. The purents objected to the mariiage, and an elopement followed. Mattie Williamson, Goldtli waite, Tex. blonde; weight, 110 pounds, Ada black, Vansandt county, Tex. brunette.; medium weight and height. Klla bowles, Houston, Tex. Small blonde; weight 110, Alice Bolen, Beeville, Tex. , blonde; weight IfiO pounds. Daisy Smith, baird, Tex. Blonde; weight Ilf) pounds. Annie benll. Texarkana, Tex. Medium size; dark hair. Klla Bennett, Bluui, Texas, i Tall, slender brunette, with duck curly hair; weight, Il’O. Howe says he lived with her nearly two years, and really lovisl her, and mb mis to r* • turn to her win n he is a free mao again,Hnd that their child, David, is eighteen months old. lie hfis not said that he cared for any of the others Ola Mayes, Grayson county, Tex. Sherman is the county seat, and the records show that |he was married July 19, 189 b. The sheriti has made inquiry shout his other wives, and al ready one response |)US been re ceiver!—from Klla IS. nnet, at Blum, acknowledging that she 1 j was Howe’s wife.— Sherman, I I’ex., dispatch to the St. Louis -1 Republic. ; A F< 'RTTNATE M EETIN< 1. i I nder tin- above beading the i Souths Companion prints the following on one of Georgia’s departed noblemen: At the close of the Civil War Gen. Robert Toombs, believing himself “wanted” by the Fed oral government, made his way to Cuba, and thenco took pass age for England. He arrived at Liverpool short of funds, a stranger in a strange land. How ever, lie bought a first-class I ticket to I.or,don, and had five J dollars left in his pocket. How ! quickly he was delivered from his financial straits is thus de scribed by a writer in the Chica- j go Times-llerald: GenoraFToombs was studying! the situation, when a fellow traveler came into his copart- inept at a way station. The new arrival wa? a London law yer of distinction, and a glance satisfied him that the man sit ting opposite was Robert Toombs, an ex-member of the Confederate Cabinet, nn ex- Confederate general, and a fa mous American lawyer. The Londoner had seen the other’s | picture in the illustrated pa pers, and had heard something of him on one of his visits to tin* t'nited States. “Excuse me,” he said, “but isn’t this General Toombs, of Georgia?” The American responded with some surprise, 'mt in a few mo ments the two wore conversing with the freedom of old friends. In the course of the conversa tion the Englisman brought up a subject in which lie was great ly interested —a case for some British claimants involving the title to large landed interests in the southwestern part of the t'nited States. Tin* penniless ex-C'onl’edornte little knew the good fortune awaiting him. lie simply knew that he had an t a bright broth er lawyer, and out of the abun dance of his intellectual and professional resourses lie enter tained him ns he would have done n guest at his own fireside Perhaps nn hour had been spent in talking over the cnse, when the Londoner came down to business. “General Toombs,” lie said, “how long shall you stop in London, and where cun I see yon?” “I expect to stay several weeks,” was the answer, “and my address will ho the l.ang ham.” •‘Would you mind coining in to this ease as consulting conn sell” “Not at all. I am familiar with tno facts and tho law. ’’ “I am sure of that,” answer ed the Britisher. “Just wait n moaisut. ” He drew writing materials from his hand-satchel, filled out a check, and handed it to the general. “This is a retainer,” ho said. “It is the wav we do things in England. Lay after tomorrow [ will call *ll you.” Th° Georgian glanced at the cheek. It was for live thou* and dollars! If he felt any sur prise, he did not show it. Ho carelessly pocketed the slip of paper, and remarked that lie would I e ready when needed. The big London lawyer got out at the next station, after promising to seo the American t wo days later. Toombs sloped at the Lang ham, and during the we< k gave his attention to tho ease which Innl come to him in the v< ry nick of time. Then ho received another check for five thousand dollars, and ran over to France for a visit. There Louis Napoleon sent for him, and consulted him up- j on various matters. Among other things, the emperor asked him what ell'ect the establish j meiit of Maximilian’s empir< would have upon the American R republic. “It will never be establish ed, ’’ was tipi Georgian’s blunt reply. “What, not with Confederate sympathy, ’’ asked the emperor. “There are no Confederates in such a case,” was the answer “We are all Americans.’’ The talk drifted to the ques tiou of reforesting the south ol France, and Napoleon asked General Toombs to visit that re- I giou and make suggestions iu 1.00 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE regard to the proposed work. The request was complied with, and a report was furnished of sc elaborate qnd complete a nati re that the French Minister of tin interior offered to pay a hand some sum for it. This was re fused, as the general said that work was not in his line, but he was prevailed upon to accept, a souvenir of considerable value from the emperor himself. WHAT THEY SHOFLD DO. One of the district school trustees was a crank on the sub ject of fire, and when he called around with the examing board lie always confined his remarks !to a question addressed to the | pupils as to what they would I do iircase of fire. The teacher was acquainted with his hobby, so she promp ted her scholars as to the iin swer they should give when he | arose to propound his accus tomed inquiry. When the board called, how ever, this particular trustee, perhaps from a desire to emu late his associates in their ad dresses, rose and said: “You hoys and girls hare paid such nice attention to Mr. Jones' remarks, I wonder what you would do if J were to make you a little speeoh?” Quick as thought a hundred voices piped in unison: “Form a line and march down stairs.”—Detroit Free Press. NOW WHAT DID HE MEAN. Matrimony was the topic, and the talk at the breakfast table was general and lively. “I knew a ensop* said the young lady excitedly, of a wife who thought she was dying, and who called her husband and tried to make him promise that i!' she did die he would not mar i-t tic- girl he was engaged to In-fore ho married her. And he ■voulen’t promise. And what lu you suppose? Why the wife iot bettor ami kept ou getting etter. and slu- is living today. Mr. Singleinan, what do you Ihink of that? ‘I think ho was a fool. ’ ‘Y-ou horrid man! What do yon mean?’ ‘He ought to have promised! 1 —Judge. 11l MOKOI S. Mabel—Why do your parents object so to Mr. Lougstcp ? Edith —Mama objects to his -hort-cotnings and pupa objects to his long stayings. ‘I heard you fought a duel with Parker?’ *1 did.-’ ‘Weren’t you afraid to stand up before a loaded pistol ?’ ‘Not with Parker holding it. I’m insured in his company. Mrs Harley—My dear, could vou leave me about #25 this morning ? Mr. Harley—My sweetness, a hank cashier has just died from the effect of handling paper money, and I'm afraid to expose you to the danger. Can you wait until I can procure gold for y< at ? Teacher—When a woman's husband dies, Patsie, what's he called ? I’atsi. —A widder. Teacher —And when a mail’s wife dies, what do we call him? Patsie (after some thought) .-A widout her, mum. A medical man tells how an hi negro woman called him in to treat a little child. ‘l)octab,’ she said, ‘de child hah swallowed u pint oh ink. ‘Have you done unything t • relieve him ?’ ‘Yes, doctah. f’se made him ,at free sheets of blotting pa per, doctah. Was dut right*? A white man sued a black man in Natal the other day, and while tho trial was proceed ing the litigants came to an amicable settlement. The counsel for the pluintitl anno Diced this circumstance to • he court. ‘Tim agreement must be in w riting,’ said the judge. ‘We have it here in black and white,' replied thehounsel,point ing to the parties. ‘What more is nec -ssa ’y ?’ —From Scottish Nights. som ktiTTng-iTT know. It may be worth something to know thut the very best, med icine for restoring the tired out nervous system to u healthy vig or is Klectric bitters. This medicine is purely vegetable, acts by giving tone to the nerve [ enters i:i the stomach, gently stimulates the Liver amt Kid neys, and aids those organs in throwing oil' impurities in the blood. It improves the appe tite, aids digestion, and is pro nounced by those who have I tried it as the very best blood purißer and nerve tonic. Try j it. Bold for oOc or $1 j>er hot, | tie at A. M. Winn A Son’s Drug Store. ROM fe 1(1 V§23/ Jfl tounKfi POWDER Absolutely Pure. f'eltbrated for its great It averting sarength and healthfiilness. As sures the food against alum and all forms of adulteration oommon to the cheap brands. Rov tt. Baking I’OWPKIi COMfAMV, XKW YoitK. Correspondence. REAS! >.\. Reason is doubtless the bright ost gem in the English' lan guage. Destroy it, and you destroy everything that is worth a thought. Newman, my neighbor, was over the other night to sit till bed-time, and he is the greatest talker in the universe. Among other things, the subject of Reason was brought up. He discussed it to the fullest ex tent of his capacity. He says unreason is the cause of all the devilment done in this country, or in the world. He savs it was for the lack of reason that" Flanagan killed those people near Decatur, His reasoning faculties got thrown out of gear, and to make bad mat ters worse,, he got a prescription from the devil and went to a barroom and had it filled, and began 141 take 11 round of the old man’s treatment. Newman declares that whenever a fellow takes the devil’s medicine that !)<■ is sure to play h— right then, or as soon as the medicine acts, lie says the whole cause of it was because he had lost his reason; that was the fountain head of all the trouble. I believe Newman is right *n his argument on this line. All the lighting, quarreling, curs ing, gambling, murdering, and a thousand and one other tilings is caused by a man’s reason be ing dethroned, Newman says ii reason could only prevail in this country, that law suits would lie at an end, the court houses would soon be converted into hotels, and in six months Judges, So licitors and lawyers would be as scarce as hen’s teeth. Thou the Lord would come down here among 11s, ajid we would have heaven on earth, which would be a new heaven and a new earth. I was naturally forced to ad mit that all Newman said was true as steel, and began to com pliment. him, which c.used him to branch oil' and talk about his own eloquence. He told how he had made speeches dur ing u political campaign, and said he was the most eloquent speaker that ever took tho stump in old Georgia. He said he could pr >ve it by bill Whit ice". who lived a mile and a half away from w here thesp -»k mg took place, “lie will tell yut that he was nt home and could hear every word 1 said, and quoted some of them; suid ‘Stand by the third-party! It will bring about good limes and a heap of it. The Alliance was born only a few years ago, its father of the North and its mother of tho South, and they have begotten a son, and that son’s name is •Third-Party,’ and he is a great big boy to his age.’ Now, you see; I was heard a mile and a half, and if that ain’t eloquence do pray tell me what eloquence is.’’ Newman thought because li“ could tulk loud that he was eloquent. All the time ho was talking 1 was thinking: “Well, old follow, you have missed the mark now.” His subject was Reason, and it tickled me to see him get a mile away from his subject, and didn’t have as much reason as a sap-headed cham-gnng nigger,and 1 finally called his attention to it. “Well,” said he, “you can’t expect a man dabbling in poli tics to have any reason. If he he is all right and g*ns into |s)litics ho will soon get all wrong.” New man don’t believe in fall ing from grace, but be has fell from reason, and I wouldn’t give a flip for a fellow’s grace if ho don't have any reason and common sense to mix with it. Grace is t*x> thin to stick if the ingredients mentioned are not mixed with it. About this the clock struck eleven and Newman went home and 1 retired. bl.l'K B.XIPK. “If you have any tears to slu-d over the sufferings of tho destitute, ’ observed I oele Allen Sparks, “don’t shed them until yon have sent a bundle of food and clothing to tho suffers. And then,’added lHole Allen, as the idea grew upon him, “you j won't need to shed them.’