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VOL. XXVII. NO 23 AWFUL! AWFUL! A wagon maker who had been dumb for years, picked up a hub and spoke. Yes, and a blind carpenter reached out for his plane and saw; and a deaf farmer went, out to his Hock aud he'jy; and a noseless fisher manrifeaught a barrel of pike and a 40-ton ele phant inserted his trunk aud flue; yes, a dog walked off with his coat and pants; and just last night we noticed a bed tick; men in the woods saw Ifche trees bark; another man was astonished at seeing a horse flv as he was passing the road. —Ex. Milwaukee Herald: “Have you noticed the handsome ad vertisement I had put on yon der fence ?” inquired a mer chant of one of his customers recently. “No,’' replied the latter, ‘but if you will send the fence to my house I w i 1 take pleasure in reading it. I read newspa pers and have no time to run about and hunt up advertise ments on street coiners.” And the merchant scratched the back of his head reflective ly- A farmer was driving a mule in Southwest Georgia when a storm came up and lightning struck the animal. The farmer never left his wa gon but with a voice and whip kept u ging the fallen mule to rise. But the latter gave no signs of life. Then the farmer jumped from his wagon, walked around the auitna' two or three times and then exclaimed in genuine as tonishment: ‘‘That last streak o’ lightnin’ has ackchully killed that mule. Who would ha’ thought it!” A woman’s character is liken ed unto a postage stamp. One black mark ruins it. Man’s like a treasury note; no matter how many stains it has it will pass at par. When a woman falls from grace her character is gen- rally mined forever. On the other hand a man may strnighten up and be received into the best society again. All of which is true —but being true does not make it right.—Ex. There is scarcely anything pow-a-days that cannot be man ufacted into a marketable pro duct or converted into a salable commodity, Eead men’s bones may be qhanged into potash, the hu man hide is tanned for shoe leather, the hitherto nearly Useless cornstalk is l( se 4 in poo ut| acting colferdamsoil, and meal is made from the frisky grusshopper. For some years congealed blood has entered Inrgely into the manufacture of blood; and now a firm in Holland qiakeg bufton out of skiip milk. Next wo expect to hear of freezing looks being utilized iu io« factories, and electric sto rage batters being charged from eyes that shot lightning glances —Ex. A NEW KISIwjF A HI.ESS ‘ l*G, A commercial traveler who was visiting with his uncle in the country, su)s an exchange, y*utj suddenly cajlod pp to say grace, and, npt being accustom ed to it, promptly tackled the difficulty in the following words t*\\ e kl*o\vMjJH the receipt of your favor of tips date. Allow ||S to express opr grptatude fur this expression of good will Trusting that our house may uieiit your confidence and that we Utay have many good orders 'from you this fall, we are youra." * An old din ky was arrested for stealing a silver dollar. The dollar was found «n his person sod produced in court. FYou stole this money?’’ ask- Bit the judge, “Dat’s wh'it dey says, suh!” “Well, what have you to say lor yourself?” “Well, suh, nuttiu’ much, ’ cptiu’dat l wuz driv ter it.” Driven to it?" “Yes, suh. You see, judge, dat dollar had u bird on it, eu it look so much like a game Chicken dat 1 thought 1 wu* in ' a hen roos* en des nacbully Jigged it I" | ti I ]/*'*- Tab ales lainab gnu- ’ ' <•? THE GWINNETT HERALD. A FALSEHOOD NAILED. John Smith was in Goldth waite last week, so says the Mountaineer.—Coleman Voice. Well, it is a mistake. John Smith was in Abilene that same week —Taylor County News. You’re another, he was here and has been here for more than a year.—Memphis News. Brethren, there is a mistake somewhere, for John Smith has been in Childress for several months past. —Childress Bud get. What stories! The Lord will never forgive you, and the bad man will get you sure. Why, John Smith has been superin tendent of the Vernon public schools for the past two years, and we walked and talked with him yesterday. People, you are wronn, John Smith is in Vernon and is not going away. —Vernon Hornet. To correct any false impres sions the editors may make on 4 the voters of this county, the New Era will state they are ab solutely untrue. John Smith is in Groesbeck—he lives here— and has been our county asses sor of taxes for the past three years. He takes the New Era and pays promptly in cash. John Smith is a Christian gen tleman, a good officer and a model citiaen. We think a heap of John Smith.—Groes beck New Era. Wrong, wrong, all wrong; and we fear that the whole gang of you are heading for the land of everlasting summer, where the worm dieth not. John Smith is a subscriber to the Recorder, and has been a sub scriber for years; and further, he was never in Goldthwaite, never saw Abilene, was never about Memphis, never heard of Childress, and so far as living in Groesbeck is concerned, we can prove that lie does not live there. Be truthful,gentlemen; be truthful. —Fairfield Record er. The number of Auaniases connected with the Texas press is something alarming. John Smith lives in Huntsville, and is the son of our esteemed citi zen, Mr. Claude B. Smith. We know he has never seen either of the places named, hence must conclude there are imjxis "ters who are trying to palm off as John.—Huutsville Item. Guite a discrepency, gentle men. To try to reconcile mat ters, we went out seven miles from Comanche to see John Smith and showed him the above statements about his rumblings, ffe seemed very much amused and stated that he was at a loss to understand why such reports got out about him. He says he has not been out of the county in six years. —Comanche Chief. Above clippings \yere all tu ken from Texas papers, and either Texas is fu|l of impost ers who are trying to palm off ua our cousin, John Smith, or the Texas editors are the most cheerful liars outside of the land of everlasting summer. John Smith is right Imfe i» Georg lg —jjves fjfbift three miles of YilU Hica. Juhll i 8 our cousin. He has uever been in Texas, and wo can prove that he never heard of these little mm-diarM fmyns. John wtH, no doubt, bring suit against the lot of you for libel. Gentlemen, the best thing you can do is to take all hqck and luimb|y bpg John to forgive you for the slur you have cast upon his phuracter by publish ing tin- above falsehoods about him. Do this, hrethreu, and we vyill try so induce John to let elm mutter drop where it is. —Villa Hica Herald. Ye generation of vipers I Why do you seek thus to destroy the reputation of one of Gwinnett’s best citi»ens ? Why, John Smith never heard of Villa Rica, and us for living in Texas he is as far from it as Andre is front the North pole, You had butter compromise this thing, brethren, it you wish to avoid a lawsuit, The Worth County bocal has ‘got on to the curves’ of some |m>ple. It says: “If every mau who is able would work 8 hours every day and t) days every week and 53 week# in every year, the banner of peace, contentment and pros perity would soon be waving over every home in these United States. — - 111 " "■ _ e ---- LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, AUGUST I 7th 1897. MISSIONARY COL UMN. [This column is devoted to the missionary cause, and is ed ited by the W. F. M. Society, Lawrenceville auxiliary.] EZRA AND ME AND THE BOARDS. | Permission of the New York Observer. J We’re plain, old fashioned folks, my husband and me, and we’re getting along into years. Ezra is past seventy, and I’m so near it there ain’t any fun in it; but we’re considerable smart and independent yet, and so we live in our snug little home in stead of going to live with the children as some folks would do. The children are all mar ried and settled, making a fight for a living just as we used to do, and they’re all steady go-to meeting folks, I’m thankful to say. and prosperous I guess. lOnce I was going to have the boys all Presidents and the girls riding in coaches; but now I am just thankful to have them good plain, honest folks. There is nothing like seventy years to take the nonsense out of a body. Yes, we’re fixed so that we doa’t need to worry if we’re careful, and don’t go into ex travagancies, like keeping two fires or having a fit of sickness; but we always pay our pew-rent and help support the causes — that’s the way we were both brought up. But goodness me how toe causes do grow and multiply! Once there was only foreign missions und home mis sions and the Bible Society and the Tract Society; but now there’s the women’s boards, too and the freed men and the old ministers and the church exten sion and the Sunday school and Y. M. C. A., ana W. C. T. U.» and land knows what. Of course we couldn’t give only a mite to the old Boars, and the only way that we can do any thing for Mil lliese new causes is to keep crowding on a little more load all the time, same as the man who could carry an ox by just beginning with it as a calf. Well, we were thinking and talking a greut deal about the debts of the Hoards, three years ago this summer, and casting about to see what we could do. Of course I’ve always had mis sionary eggs; every fifth egg is my rule. If the old Jews gave a tenth, pity the Christians can’t give a fifth. And there’* my cherry and apricot trees, Some years they’ve helped me out ever so much; but what was it among the causes when each wanted an extra effort, and de served it, too? It’s the extras that make the tfQubje always, What was left for the debts? On our mite-box it says: “Freely ye have received," fin(| I’m nos a stock or a stone not to know that l have received mercies enough I Just to be well and breath is a pretty big blessing, Kzra says. Rut it* when he goes to tttjfcipg nbo.u 1 history fhaf Ezra gets real qbf quent. Why, Will 1(0 QU by the hour about what the early Christum* went through, just spread the gospel, and the way they crept here and there with their rolls of Scripture, even acroHM the sea into Knglaud, among'the awfullest heathen*, that ever was, if Ripy w»» tur ancestors, and about the Wald enses, and the Huguenots and the Cov’canters. | declare for it, when Ezra gets to telliug these stories, I feej so worked up 1 am ashamed to think I‘ve had my huupet dull# over at all. Iblt to go back about these debts. When mother came to live witli with us. she brought the things that her mother gave her when she was married.—an old cherry desk, an eight-day dock, and a spinning-wheel, if you believe it—-a little cld fashioned tlax wheel, spindle, distaff, and all. We thought thut was a big Joke, but you will see. We put the wheel up in the loft, and the children used to play with it. Ai.d ut ter mother died the young folks used to get it down for tableaux ami New England Kitchens, and such things, and once Cora Gillette, the banker's daughter, asked my Eliza if we would sell it, which, of course, Kliza wouldn't listen to—sell grand ma's wheel, indeed! Talking about the deb: q “It we had something that we could sell,” says Ezra, and i just laughed, but he fell to telling about the early Christians liv ing under ground and starving to death, till I was sober enough to cry. I always lie awake at nights when anything troubles me—foolishest thing in the world to do—and 1 was lying awake that night, and all at once I thought of the wheel. Of course I hated to part with it, but what was that to be thinking about at such a time as this! So in the morning I got down the wheel, and clean ed it and oiled it and ruhed it till it shone, and then I put on my bonnet and went over to Mrs. Gillette’s, who is such a genuine lady that nobody is is afraid of her, so I just told her that I would like to sell mother’s weel. Miss Gillette was in the room and she joined right in, ‘‘Of course we want it, mamma,” says she; “do send the man right o/er for it.” “I think I’ll step over to Mrs. Johnson’s and look at it myself,” says her mother; and so she came home with me, and when we came in she she sat down and we had a nice visit. She said right away that she’d take the wheel and give me ten dollars -for it, which I thought a real good price. Then she says in her soft, beautiful way, “Dear Mrs. Johnson, you are not in any trouble, I hope, that makes you anxious to sell this wheel ?” “No,” says I, “only those Board debts - ” “Whose debts ? What debts?’ says she in a kind of surprised, invuiring voice “Board debts,” says I; an I upon my word I ha 1 to explain it to her, although she is one of our church members and a love ly woman, but she never had an Ezra for a husband. Well, sin- understoi d, her great soft eyes filled with tears, ami she took out her purse. “Dear Mrs. Johnson,’ ssys she, “1 didn’t offer you half enough for that wheel,’ and she just made me take twenty dollars! It’s always Mrs Gillette’s way when she has been doing anything generous to act as if! it was nothing remarkable, and. so she began to walk around the room and to look at father’s and mother’s pictures und the old clock and the desk. “You have a fortune in these quaint old things,’ says she, “People give a great, deal for them now adays, but of course you will | never part with them.’ “No, indeed,’ says I, und 1 felt almost hurt to have her spunk of it; but shy fume and took Roth iny hands in tier soft, pretty ones, and kissed me, and said that she was more grateful to me thgn she pnqld fell, f«r the whepl gnd for « lesson, and then she weut away. poor thing, she is Just crowded to death with her big house, and her help anc| he*' cqmpapy! It's no Wfouder she hadn't thought ghoqt the deh'a, Wall, you should have sc«.u Ezra when he came home and I tu'.d him. “Twenty dollars]' Puys he, “Who’d haye thought we oniild give twenty dollars toward the debts ¥‘ Hut we did. 1 put it in my envelope at our thank-offering meeting this te*t, wht<*h K«'a found for Use i “Thou, 0 God, hast prepared of thy goodmss for the poor." Hut t here wasu gift of a hun dred dollars that was taken from another envelope, with this verse; I thank tine for thy written word, my God, For every sacred line; Hut more 1 thank thee for thy humblest saint, Whoso duily life doth shine; A living puge, most true, most pure, most sweet, Fresh from thy ha id divine. This was Mrs. Gillette's, we all knew, Of course she meant Kara, Nobody ever thought of calling me a saint! Well, a yeur went by, and if those blessed old Hourds wa'n't just as bud off as ever! Some says ttiey ain’t maun god right. Kzra says how can they stop spending when they get such letters, not only fr nu mission aries, but from converted heath en ? 1 noticed Kzra looking ut the desk, and 1 just felt in my boues what was coming, It would have to go, much us we sot by it, and so it did. Mr. Gillette came over himself aud gave us twenty-five dollars for it. Of course we missed it some, but what's that when you think of what you received ? Mrs. Gil lette gave a hundred dollars to Foreign Missions and a hundred dollars to Home Missions last year, and I am pretty sure that the Boards are beholden to Ez ra for a pretty good share of it, but that's tlie last tiling that he thinks of. And now here is the same old story ringing in our ears again about the debts. There's one one thing left. It did seem for a while as if I could not part with it. I was gazing at the clock the other evening, and says Ito Ezra, “What an heir loom tins clock is!’ “ es, but the gospel is a heap older and preciouser heirloom, thanks to the missionaries who brought it to England! 1 replied Ezra. I was lying awake that night, and got to thinking how I had be.ui tdessed by my godly moth er and grandmother, und how glad they would he to have the old clock spread the gospel, and then the queerest thii g hap pened. The clock began t > tick: “Free-ly ye-have re ceived, free-ly ye-have re-eeived!‘ It's kept its going ever since till I‘m most crazy. I told Ezra of it this morning, and he says may be if it wont over to Mrs. Gillett's and stood on that broad landing upon her stairs it might keep on saying the same thing until even Mr. Gil lette, who never goes to church, would hear it. Who knows ? Mary 11. Field. THE TRUeTiEMEDY. W. M. Repine, editor Tiskil | wa, 111., “Chief,” says: “We won't keep house without Dr. | King’s New Discovery for Con sumption, Coughsjand Co ds. Experimented with many oth- I ers, hut never got the true rem edy until we used Dr. King's New Discovery. No other rem dy car. take its place in cur h me, as in it we have acertain a id sure cure for Coughs, Colds, Whooping Cough, etc.” It is i lie to experiment, with other r medies, even if they nreurgeri o i you as just us good a« Dr. King’s New Discovery. They are not as good, because this! remedy has a record of cures j und besides is guurrauteed. It n ;ver fails to satisfy. Trial bottles free at A. M. Winn & Son’s Drug Store. THREE MONTHS BETWEEN THEM. Four months ago Mrs. Clar ence Fitch, the wife of the audi tor of the Cleveland Provision company, left that city for East Hartford,where she visited with girlhood friends. A few weeks later she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. As soon as Mrs. Fitch was able to travel she returned to her home in Cleavland and was apparently in the best of health. On a recent Sunday morning she gave birth to a plump baby boy, there being jus 11 Weeks between tin. two events Both ehiUHoi’ are in excellent |\eulth.—Cleave laud Leader. ONE AHEAD. There is said to be one editor jn beayen. How he got there is nut known, but it is conjectured that hg passed himself off as u minister and stepped in uiicx* pectedly. When the dodge wgs discovered they searched the regime of felicity in all their length and breadth for h lawyer to draw t he necessary papers for hU ejection, but they could not ttnd°ne, nod of course lie held the fort.—Ex. A pretty girl of sweet sixteen In Pennsylvania reached for a tloweraod a snake on the bough bit her arm. She fainted, and a young man found her, threw water in her face, and was hys- Iviicnlly told she had l«*en bit ten by a rattle snake , He drew away the poison with his lips, and now there is the foundation fur a thrilling romance. Hut af ter they are married some crusty old fellow will fell bur that u rattlesnake cannot climb a bush and then she w ill know that the hlacksnake is harmless, Will lb-re be a divorce? Hut John has not told Hertha yet—Ex. A william goat got in the acad emy at Morgan not long since and took up the st inly of geogra phy. When lie was found he had taken a liking to the wall map —had eaten .Mexico, made way with the gulf of Mexico und ran out of the house with the United States in his mouth. It is suid that an editor in Tif ton recently received a proposi tion from a Chicago firm tliut they would furnish him a new patent fire escape for |l and seme advert ising to be done la ter on. The editor borrowed the money and sent it along and in a f cw days received a copy of the New Testament, —Exchange, There are 31)0,000 words in the English language, and all of them were used on Sunday by a woman who discovered af ter coming out of church that her new hat was adorned with a tug on which was written: “Reduced to SB,OB. A GRIM VIEW OF IT. Iho death of an ossified man in Tennessee is reported. He died hard.—Chicago Tribune, this is as bad as the man who swallowed a thermometer and and died by degrees; it suggests also the case of a consumptive undertaker who died a coffin.— Medical Record. Theso re mind us of a man who choked while eating an apple and died of appleplexy.—National Medi cal Review. It was in a hotel at St Louis that a Pike county farmer blew out the gas and died from gastritis.—Meyer Brothers’ Druggist. Not any worse than the man struck by an engine; verdict, died from locomotor at tacksia, —Montreal Pharm. .Journ. Still worse the caso of that pie-eat-ing dyspep tic of Tit!is, for he died of pi emia, superinduced by typhlitis. —Medical Journal. The other day a negro in Southern Geor gia ate six wat melons. He died of meloncholia. LOVE IN*ALABAMA. - “Yes,” said the village gos sip, ‘John wuz always a-pestrin’ of Sue about marryin’ him, an’ she’d done told him ‘No,’ more times’ll I could tell you.’ “You don’t say! ’ “Hit's true aspreachin’.Well you know, John carries the mail?’ “Yes, I’ve hearn tell he does. ’ “An’ las’ Wednesday wuz a week Sue wuz a travelin’ along with him, gom’ to town, when John up an’ says, es she didn’t make up to marry him he'd made the hoss run down hill tell all three of them wuz drowned in the bottom of the river.’ “That’s what! Rut what do you reckon Sue done?’ “Lord knows!’ “Caught John by the collar, jerked him outeu the cart, grab bed up a stick and lambasted John with it tell he couldn’t | stall’!’ “Laws a-massey 1” “John took to his bed, whar he laid for two weeks, an’ Sue! got sorry for him, an’ missed him, an' killed u beef to make [ stew for him, un now—what do you recon?’ “I dunnol’ “She’s a-goin’to marry him!’ LUCK. “Do you think there is any luck in four leaf clover?’ asked a young woman. “Well replied Mr. Barker, thoughtfully, “l can’t trace the connection between any super stition and actual occurrences. Rut l knew a girl who was very lucky son after she found a four, leaf clover. ’ “Do tell tue about it,’ “There isn't much to tell. While she was hunting the four leaf clover she got her feet wet and caught a cold, and every body said she was lucky that she didn’t die.’—Washington star. Advertising pays and we have positive proof of it. A few days ago there appeared an advertise ment in a newspaper offering a reward for un English terrier dog. Now for results. Thu dog walked into Mr. Stone s yard the next day, wag ging his tail, lb-jug an intelli gent, though unable to read, he had doubtless heard soii.e nuu read the advertisement, and at once trotted off to relieve the suspense us to his whereabouts. Yes. advertising pays.—Ex. A REAL BARGAIN. “It’s a swindle,” she said. “The idea of charging $1 for that!” “.Under the circumstances, madam, returned the floor walk er, who had been attracted to the spot, “we will wake it $3.09 to you,” “Ah,” she said, producing her purse; 'that’s more like it.’ —Chicago post. WHAT HE WANTED, “The Hue will be three dol lars and costs,” announced the police magistrate. “I’m am willing to make it ten dollars and cost. Squire,” said the scorcher, “if you'll have it entered in the printed record that 1 was going twenty miles un hour and my machine was Greased Lightning, geared to 84.—Chico Tribune. ♦ • Frank Stanton keeps up with the educational progress of the age. He says: “These colleges,” said the old man, "is the greatest tilings in the world. Why, John’s done larnt me ter play football, and hanged if the old woman ain’t u rulin' of a bicykile iu britches.” * .00 PER ANNUM. IN ADVANCE HUMOROUS. This club life will be the death of me. Who hit you on the head? A policeman. Willieboy—l’apa, what is an easy thing? I’apa—Ask your mother to tell you about me. How did Prof. Bildad's lec ture on ether strike you? Put me to sleep, of course. First Boarder—l don't hear this new man complaining any more. Is lie satisfied? Second Boarder—No; lie's subdued. Ned—l didn't know he could run. Ted—Why, my dear friend, that man has lived in Subbubs for ton years and has never missed a train. Mrs. Homer isn't at alt inter ested in public affairs. N >; she's the most insipid creature. She permits home affairs to nl>sorh all her time and talk. Smith—Our fool of a servant tried to light the fire with kero sene this morning. Jones—Have you discharged her? Smith—We haven't found her yet. This is not a true Btory. Not being a true story, it is of ne cessity a fiction story. Being a fiction story, it tells a lie. Any thing that tells a lie should he suppressed. That's why I shall not write the story. Elder Sister—Come, Clarence take your powder like a man. You never hear me making any complaint about such a little thing as that. Clarence (sourly)—Neither would I if I could daub it on my face; it is swallerin* it that I don't like. Family Friend—l congratu late you, my dear friend, on the marriage of your daughter. 1 ; see you are gradually getting all the girls oil' your hands. Old Olivehranch—Off my hands—yes; hut the worst of it is 1 have to still keep all their husbands on their feet. Mrs. Durham —Why do you shun Horstley? I've noticed several times now that you've gone out of your way to avoid j meeting him. Mr. Durham—l’m suspicious of him. lie's been so polite and friendly of late that I ex-! pect he's getting ready to try to j borrow some money from mo. WORDS OF WISDOM, Who sings in grief prdcures relief. Ho loves thee well who makes thee weep. That which is lightly gained is little valued. A woman that marries for a home pays big lent. Some of our happies moments are spent in air castles. You can very often count your friends by your dollars. Only those can sing in the dark who have a light in the heart. A man’s idea of a perfect wo man is one who thinks he is per fect. There is no jewel in the world so valuable as a chaste and vir tuous woman. Even in traveling in a thorny path it may not he necessary to step on all the thorns. He who seeks after what is impossible, ought in justice to be denied what is possible. Marrying a man to reform him is equal to putting your lingers into a lire to put it out. When two souls have but a single thought, they should stop spooning and get married. A man’s cynicism is bounded on the north by his vanity and on the south by his digestion. When you say “I don't tare,* t ry to see t hat your tone of voice doesn't indicate that y >u do. It is always a mystery to a • woman why her lushmd does not seem to pity old bachelors more. Life is like a nutmeg grater. You have te rub up against the rough side of it to accomplish anything. Ev-iry woman has an idea that she can judge a man by looking straight in his eyes— hut can she?—The South-West. FACTS AND FIUCRES. The Vatican at Rome is the largest palace that has ever been erected. In length it is 1,21*0 feet, and in breadth I,OCX* feet. It contains 4,422 rooms The Brooklyn bridge gives employment to a permanent force of 77)1 men and women, of whomeffbure policemen and 21d in the train department. f?» &AKIN* 5 POWDER Absolutely Celebrated for its great leavening sarengtli and liealtbfulness. As sures the food against alum and all forms of adulteration common to the cheap brands. Royal llakino Powoick Company, Nkw York. ADVERTISING Ts ASKING. Every man must ask for buß iuess before he can get it. The more people ho asks the more business he is likely to get. He must ask often and ask in the right way. Advertising is asking, Advertising is simply saying to a man or woman : “Here is something good. It is for sale. There is real econ omy and satisfaction in buying this good thing. Do you want it ?”—Ex, FREE PILLS . Send your address to H. . E. Bucklen A’ Co., Chicago, and get a*free sample box of Dr. King’s New Life Pills. A trial will con vince you of their merits. These pills are easy in action and are particularly effective in the cure of Constipation and Sick Head ache. For Malaria and Liver troubles they have been printed invaluable. They are guaran teed to he perfectly free from every deleterious substance and to he purely vegetable. They do uot weaken by their action, hut by giving tone to stomach and bowels greatly invigorate the system. Regular size 25c. per box. Sold by A M. Winn & Son Druggist. TRUMPET CALLS. Gorge the memory, and starve the understanding. When men look to the Lord, there is no lack of work. lirtter understand one theo rem than learn a dozen. Better freedom in bonds than bonds in freedom. They who wait to do great things never do anything. A man with two faces never deeds but one pair of feet. A crust with an appetite is better than a feast without. Pretend to know and you will become an empty shell. They who clamor for their rights multiply their wrongs. One truth in the life is better than a hundred in the memory. The wasted mental force would do all the work of the world. When liquor goes iuto the stomach, love gooes out of the heart. The “moderate” drinker nev er touches it—one drink is ex cess. The Biggest debt in the world is the Christian’s debt to the heathen. The true bone of contention is generally found on the free lunch counter. Some men, if they prayed at all, would say, “Give us this day our dayly grog. ” Success, 1 i-kte a lung-testing machine, is valuable only as it measures strength. Man should be a little lower than the angels and not a good deal lower titan the beusts. The only way to break com pany with'Satair is for you to do the breaking. He never will. In the war at this aay, men think more of the chances of victory than the justice of the cause. Little boys are very much like wheat. They are never useful until they are thrashed. Love is the greatest incentive of all passions for noble effort. There are lots of women who have been disappointed in love who are not old maids. They are "married. Why is a merchant who uev jer advertises like the future? Because you never know what he has in store tor you. HIS USUAL WAV. She—lt’s funny, but all the time I have*hnown Mr. Tigg he never has paid me a compli ment. lie—Tigg never pays anybody —Boston Transcript.