Weekly Gwinnett atlas. (Lawrenceville, Ga.) 1871-1871, August 09, 1871, Image 1
CrYVINNETT ATLAS.
PUBLISHED EVERT WEDNESDAY, BY
TYLER M. PEEPLES,
Kditor AND PROPRIETOR,
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION’.
One Copy one year $2 00
One Copy six months 81 00
One Copy three months 60
Subscription rates are cash—payable
in money or provisions.
Any one obtaining five subscribers, and
the money, will receive a copy free.
Subscribers wishing their papers
changed from one post-office to another,
must state the name of the post-office
from which they wish it changed, as well
ns that to which they wish it sent.
LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS.
Sheriff sales, per levy $2 50
Mortgage fi fa sales, per square... 500
Tax Collector’s “ “ “ ... 5 00
Letters of administration 3 00
Notice to debtors and creditors... 500
Leave to sell land 5 00
Sale of land, per square 5 00
Letters of dismission 4 50
Application for homestead. 2 00
Estray notices 3 00
USS- Sales of land, by administrators,
executors or guardians, are required by
law to be held on the first Tuesday in the
month, between the hours of ten in the
forenoon and three in the afternoon, at
■.the Court-house in the county in which
the property is situated.
N otice of these sales must be given in
a public gazette 40 days previous to the
day of sate.
Notice to debtors and Creditors of an
estate must also be pnblished 40 days.
Notice for the sale of personal proper
ty must be given in like manner, 10 days
previous to sale day.
Notice that application will be made
to the Court of Ordinary for leave to
sell land must be published for four weeks.
Citations on letters of administration,
guardianship, &c., must be published 30
days: for dismission from administration,
monthly, three months; for dismission
from guardianship, 40 days.
Rules for the foreclosure of mortgages
must be published monthly, four months ;
for establishing lost papers, for the full
space of three months ; for compelling
titles from executors or administrators,
where bond has been given by the de
ceased, the full space of three months.
Sheriff’s sales must be published for
four weeks.
Estray notices, two weeks.
Publications will always lie continued
according to these, the legal requirements,
unless otherwise ordered.
NEWSPAPER LAWS.
We would call the special attention of
'Tost Masters and our subscribers to the
following synopsis of the Newspaper
Saws :
1. A Postmaster is required to give no.
tice by letter, (returning a paper does not
-answer the law,) when it atihacriber does
mot take his paper out of the office, and
■state the reasons for its not being taken,
and neglect to do so makes the Postmas
ter responsible to the publishers for in
payment.
2. Vuy person who takes a paper from
the Post-Office, whether directed to his
name or another,"or whether he hn <ub
scribed or n t, is responsible for the pay.
3. If a person ord'rs his paper discon
tinued he must pay all arrearages; or the
publisher may continue to send it until
payment is made, ar.d collect the whole
amount, whether it be taken from the of
fice or not. There can be no le;*al dis
continuance until the payment is made.
4. If subscribers order the pfqioi to be
stopped at a certain time, m l the pub
lisher continues to send it, the sub crib r
is bound to pay for it if be lakes it out
of the Post-Office. The law proceeds
upon the ground that a man must pay
for what lie uses.
5. The courts have decided that refu
sing to take newspapers and periodicals
from the Post-office, or icmoving and
leaving them uncalled for, is prima facia
evidence of intentional fraud.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
BAM. J. WINS. WM. E. SIMMONS.
WINN & SIMMONS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Lawrenceville, Georgia.
Practice in Gwinnett and the adjoining
counties. mar 15-ly
NATHAN I. HUTCHINS, GARNETT m'mTI.LAN,
t Lawrenceville, Ga. Clarksville, Ga.
! Hutchins 4- McMillan ,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
l Offices at Lawrenceville and Clarksville.
'.Practice in the counties of the Western
Vcuit.and in Milton and Forsyth of the
Ne Ridge. mar 15-ly
J. N. GLENN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LA WREN ILL*, GA.
Will prunptly attend to all business
entrusted t, his care, and also to Land,
Bounty and Pension claims mar 15-6 m
TYLER mTpeEPL.es,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LA WRBNCK VILLI, OA.
Practices in the counties of Gwinnett,
Hail, Jackson and Milton.
"Pension claims promptly attended to
'*iar 15-6 m
LR. TANDY K. MITCHELL,
* ‘AWRKNCEVILLE, GA.,
RespcAfniiy tenders a continuation of
Uis proresinpal services to the citizens
generally. \^ L . t >p ß constantly on baud a
of drugs and chemicals.
I prepared,
mar ' ' r r
A, J. SHAFFER,
PHYSICIAN Akto SURGEON,
LAWRENCEVILLE, ga.
war 15-Gin
Weekly Gwinnett Atlas.
BY TYLER M. PEEPLES ]
Vol. I.
I. Walsh, Proprietor. R. H. Mcl>onai.d k Co., DruggUt*
A On. AganU, S.n Franetoco.Cnl ,*n«i 34 Connate* »*.,£.T
MILLIOFII ■•wTMliHMftoiMlr
Wtß4«rfNl i'araliTe Xfleet*.
Tl*«i»r Bitter* in not * rile Ftaev
Brisk, Made of Peer Rata, Whisker,
Freer Spirit* and Refaee Lie a ere, doc
tored, apiced end sweetened to please the teste,
celled M Tonics,” •* Appetiser*.” “ Restorers," Jfce,
that leed the tippler on to drunkenness sad ruin,
but afe I tnie Medicine, made from the Native
Roots and Herbs of California, free from all
Alcoholic Htlatalntus. Ther are the
GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER and A
LIFE GIVING PRINCIPLE* a perfect
Renovator and luviforator of the Sr stem, carry
ing off all poisonous matter and restoring the blood
to a healthy condition. No person can take these
Sitters according to directions and remain long
unwell, provided their bones are not destroyed
by mineral poison or other moans, and the vital
organs wasted beyond the point of repair.
They are a Gentle *Pnrgative n* well
tin a Tonic, possessing, also, the peculiar merit
of acting as a pov til agent in relieving Conges
tion or Inflammation of the Liver, and of all the
Visceral Organs.
FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, whether
in young or old, married or single, at the dawn of
womanhood or at the turn of life, these Tonic Bet
ters have no equal.
For Inflnmniatory and Chronic Rlmmi
iiintittni and (iouf, DyNpcpsia or In
digestion, Hi! lon m, Reiiiittent mid
Intermittent Fevers, l>i*«*n*r* of the
Illood, Liver, Kidneys and llladder,
these Hitters have been moat successful. Much
lllsenNes are caused by Vitiated illood,
which is generally produced by derangement of
the Digestive Organs.
DYSPEPSIA OR INDIGESTION,
Headache, Fain in the Shoulders, Coughs, Tight
ness of the Chest, Dizzinc.-s, Sour Eructations of
the Stomach, Bad Taste in the Month, Bilious
Attacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Inflammation of
the Lungs, Pain in the regions of the Kidneys, and
a hundred other painful symptoms are the off
springs of Dyspepsia.
They invigorate the Stomach and stimulate the
torpid Liver and Bowel*, which render them of
unequalled efficacy in cleansing the blood of all im
purities, and imparting new life and vigor to the
whole system.
FOR SKIN DISEASE*, Eruptions,Tetter
Salt Rheum, Blotches. Spots, Fimp'es, Pustule*,
Boils, Carbuncles, Ring-Worms, S« a’d Head. So-e
Eyes,Erysipelas. Itch. Scurfs, Din- olor.-ilionsof the
Skin. Humors and Diseases of the Skin, of what
ever name or nature, nre li erol'y dug tip an car
ried opt of the system in a short i imu by the use of
these Bitters, tine bottle in s; <|« cases will con
vince the most, incredulous of their curative effect.
Cleanse the Vitiated Blood whenever you find its
impurities bursting through the skin in Pimples,
Eruptions or Sores; clean when you find it
obstructed ami siuggish in veins: cleanse it
when it is foul,and j our feelings will roll von when.
Keep the blood pure, and the health of the sy stem
will follow.
PIN, TAPE, ami other WORMS, nrking
in the system of so many thousands, are effectually
destroyed jmd removed.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS.
i. WALKER, Proprietor. U. M. MCDONALD*
CO., Druggists and Gen. tgeuts, Ban Franciso**,
Cal.. *•"•«< ‘C and 2M Commerce Street, New York.
NEW MAP OF GEORGIA.
The undersigned, having just issued,
now offers to the public, a New Mas of
the State of Georgia, exhibiting ail the
new counties, county towns, villages, post
offices, and the whole network of railroads,
highways, rivers, creeks and water courses
in the State.
It is a correct transcript from the rec
ords in the Surveyor General’s office, show
ing the surveyed districts, with the num
bers of the lot of laud in the corner of
each, and a complete Check Map for all
portions of the State, surveyed in lots of
490 ucres. It also exhibits that portion
of Florida bounded on the South.
Size of Map, 56x67 inches.
Mounted form 810; dissected form 810.
Compiled by James R. llutts, 1859.
Revised and published by A. G. Butts,
Macon, Ga., 1870.
Agents wanted in every county.
Orders will be filled by the editor of
the Gwinnett Atlas (who has one of
these maps at his office for inspection), or
by A. G BUTTS,
ap 5-ts Macon, Ga.
EUMELAN GRAPE VINES,
The Best Wine and Table Orape oj
America !
The subscriber is prepared to furnish a
limited supply of this new and very supe
rior Grape at $1 60 each ; SI6 per down,
8125 per 100. It is earlier end more
productive than the Hartford ; hardier and
more vigorous than the Concord, equal in
quality to the Delaware. Superior, as a
Red Wine Grape, to the Norton. Com
petent judges, in every sectioo, have pro
nounced it the best Black Grape ami the
best Red Wme Grape of America.
Send stamp for a circular.
THKEE SUPERIOR
SOUTHERN SEEDLING STRAW
BERRIES,
Southern Excxlsiou,
General Beaureoabd, and
Stonewall Jackson.
These varieties arc vigorous and hardy,
very large, immensely productive, firm,
sweet and supeiior flavor. They are, be
yond doubt, the best market and garden
strawberries before the public. Sent by
mail at 84 per dozen, or one dozen of each
for 810.
HENRY A. PRICE,
Name lari, Vineyard and Nursery,
Central Plains, Fluvanna Co., Va.
iaar 29-1 y
Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, August 9, 1871.
[communicated.]
Tlie Evening Star.
Mr. Editor —ln looking ever an
old number of tlie Philadelphia Cas
ket, published in 1832—nearly forty
years ago—l find a most beautiful
poem, addressed to the evening star,
by Richard Nisbit, a lunatic in the
Pennsylvania Hospital.
The fact that a lunatic composed
it, makes it the more touching and
beautiful.
After reading it, the enquiry arises
in the tnind, To what cause could
one so gifted become so distracted
and dethroned in reason as to make
it necessary to send him to an insane
hospital ?
It has been said that the subject
or cause of the aberrations of a dis
traded mind preys ever upon it, and
of that he will discourse more elo
quently and touchingly than upon
any other subject. Then, most prob
ably, “ she that loadeth hapless man
astray,” by her wiles and sophistry,
her witchery and unfaithfulness, de
stroyed his reason, and made him
the poor maniac!
Oh ! the badness of woman’s heart,
when she becomes lost to virtue!
She is a jewel, when good; when
bad, her influence takes hold on fire
of hell!
I give you tiie poem to be repub
lished ; whicL, probably, was never
seen by many of your readers, and is
too good to be lost. W.
TO THE EVENING STAR.
Oh 1 Venus, lovely evening star !
Diffusing precious light afar ;
How much superior is thy fame
To tier's from whom thou tak'st thy name I
Stic leadeih hapless man astray ;
Thou lightest wanderers on their way.
The mantle of the dark was spread;
The tempest wan ’d around my head ;
As, wearied, pensive imel alone,
Through devious wilds 1 journeyed on,
Imploring for some gentle ray
To light a wanderer on his way ;
When soon, with gladness and surprise,
1 saw thee in the Western skies,
Cheering the dismal gloom of night,
With grateful, friendly, moderate light,
Complete as all the glare of day.
To light a wanderer on his way.
Oli! thus, should anxious cares infest,
Or jarring passions rend the breast,
And in dark tempest struggling roll,
May reason open on the soul,
And, with serene and sober ray,
Conduct the wanderer on his way I
let others toil for wealth and fame,
Or call ambition but a name,
Yet follow what delusion yields,
Unmindful of yon starry fields ;
The idle fancies such display,
Mislead the wanderer on his way.
To them their pleasures I resign ;
The evening star of reason ra : ne ;
With this, no other light we need—
This best, man’s destined path shall lead
To the cold tomb of kindred clay,
Where ends the wanderer’s earthly way.
JE#* One day a trader chief
came to join n missionary chin ch
in Africa with his two wives—one
old and ugly, the other a hand
some young negress.
“ That will never do,” cried the
minister; “my religion allows a
man but one wife. Choose one
for the partner of your joys and
sorrows, and make suitable pro
vision for the other.”
They all went away, looking
very crest fallen. A week or two
afterward the old chief came back,
leading the young and pretty one,
both looking very happy.
“ Me come back," he said ; “ me
all ready now.”
“ That ia right," said the minis
ter; "and, pray, how have you
disposed of the other wife ? "
“AH right,” he said ; “me cat
her up! ”
——— —— -
“Such is Fahe.” —After Susan B.
Anthony lectured in an Eastern town,
the other day, she wanted some re
creation and amusement, so she took
a walk on Sunday around the grave
yard there. While she was enjoying
the literature of a tombstone, she
heard a lot of little boys saying,
“That’s her,” and she thought, “such
is fame.” Congratulating herself
that even the children of the land
knew her, she was accosted by an
urchin, who said :
“Say, aint you the old woman
that walks up the wire at the circus
to-roorrow ?"
*t*y Silk worms are now raised in
California as an article of export.
(“WHAT IS IT BUT A MAP OF BUSY LIFE?”)
Written for tbe Gwinnett Atlas.
Pen and Ink Sketches—No. O.
ELDER JAMES HALE.
Mr. Hale became a citizen of
Gwinnett county as early as 1821.
He settled on a lot of land which
he drew from the State as a soldier
of the war of 1812, which is situ
ated in what is now known as
Berkshire district, in the South
west part of the county.
Upon this place was his home
from 1821 until May, 1855—the time
of his death.
He was born in Johnson coun
ty, North Carolina, in the year
1178, and came to Georgia when
a small boy; first living in Ogle
thorpe, then in Clark, and then in
Gwinnett.
The date of his conversion was
at a very early period; and he
was licensed to preach in 1811.
While in the army of the war of
1812, he preached to his comrades
and brothers in arms, whenever
opportunity offered—not as chap
lain, but as a fellow soldier ; feel
ing it to be his duty to preach the
Gospel, even by the way-side—
on the high-ways and hedges—
thereby casting the bread of life
upon the waters, hoping that it
might be gathered after many days.
Very soon after he canto to this
county, “ old Caiup Creek ” Church
was organized; he being one of
the original founders, and was
chosen its first pastor, which posi
tion he held to the time oi his
death—a peiiod of 455 years!
During that long time he was
faithful in his ministerial duties,
and was always acceptable to that
church; they never getting tired
of him, nor were they willing to
exchange him for another.
This was a high compliment to
the “old man;” and it proves
him to have been a faithful, con
scientious preacher of righteous
ness: doing his duty before God
and man to the best of his ability.
I know of no similar instance of
a preacher serving a church so
long a time—over a third of a cen
tury; and, during that loin/ time.
he had no strife or bickerings, or
even unkind bailings, with any of
his flock!
Men are fond of a change, and.
in nothing more than a change us
preachers, as a general thing;
hence, it is the policy of some de
nominations to continue the same
minister not longer than a brief
peiiod to the same charge.
To be able to serve the same
people acceptably for 35 years—
for they had the right to make
their own selection—is one of the
highest cnconiuins that could have
been paid Mr. Hale. They loved
the old man, and he was to them
ab a prophet in Israel.
During this time he served other
church generally four which
embraced all the Sabbaths in the
year; working faithfully on his
farm and for his family during the |
week, and as faithfully for his
Lord and Master Saturdays and
the Sabbath.
Among them he served “old
Sweet Water” 15 years.
I quote from a letter by an old
friend and brother of his, which
furnishes me some data that as
sists me in making up this sketch.
“When Mr. Hale commenced
exercising in public, it is said of
him, that lie could not read a chap
ter in the Bible or a hymn in the
hymn book; but, eventually, he
became a good reader, and was
well versed in the Scriptures. lie
was ever esteemed and loved by
the Primitive Baptists; and his
neighlkjrs always spoke highly of
him, and had much reverence for
him as a man and a Christian.”
I have often attended upon
his ministry; always to my edifi
cation. Not for any high-sound
ing word or pointed sentence, nor
for any display ot rhetoric or <>lo-
qiient declamations —for to none
of these did he make any preten
sions—but for bis plain, practical,
unpretending expositions of the
Word, in force and simplicity.
His style was of the Primitive
Baptist style—peculiar to that
church which the fashionable and
fastidious of this day would pro
bably not admire; yet I liked it
j for its unpretendingness and sim
I plicity.
No pent-up Utica Contracted
his powers; ” he preached to his
people as he would have talked to
i his children.
Often, after statiug a proposi
tion or scriptural theorem, he would
say, “ Some people will not agree
with me iu this, but it is the opin
ion ol the oldman, anyhow!”—
Often in his preaching he would
refer to himself as " the old man; ”
Sometimes as “ old Hale.” , •
Many years ago, 1 attended one
of his meetings; it was a “ foot
washing ” occasion. 1 had been
brought up iu Connection with a
church that did not observe this
ordinance, and which, probably,
diil not consider it an ordinance.
*
Curiosity, to some extent, prompt
ed me to attend this meeting to
see the loot-washing; not simply
for amusement or to laugh and
make sport —for 1 never did this
at church, not even whop a boy—
bpt I bad never seen yke 1 ike, and
wanted to. In witnessing the
ceremony and performance, it
changed my mind; for, instead of
looking foolish, as I had supposed,
it was solemn, impressive, and it
made a good impression on my
mi.:d! However much other
churches may object to it—(l
don’t know that they do)—there
is an illustrious example for it
given in the 13th chapter of John.
“ When the Saviour, after sup
per, laid aside 11 is garments, lie
took a towel and girded Himself.
Alter that He pdurcth water into
a basin and began to wash the
disciples’ feet and wipe them with
the towel wherewith He was gir
ded ”
Again. “For if I, then, your
Lord and Master, have washed your
feet, ye also ought to wash one
another’s feet.”
“ Daddy Hale,” as he was fa
miliarly known in his old age—
“ Hard-Shell,” as he was called by
some, by way of reproach—was
one of the most exemplary of the
old fathers. There were as few
objectionable traits in bis charac
ter as any of them. Always
quiet and kind in bis intercourse
with his neighbors; having no!
strife or disagreements with any j
one; “earning his bread by the i
sweat of his face,” he served God in j
his day and generation to the best
of his ability, and “ fell on sleep ” J
in a green old age, at peace with
God and his fellow man, in his
17th year, beloved by all who j
knew him, and no doubt saved in
Heaven-
The grave now covers his ashes,
as it does Paul—and, as “Abel,
lying in his blood beneath his
altar, and Noah, resting where
they placed him, in the renovated
earth, fresh from its dubtvian bap
tism; and Abraham, with his
cherished Sarah; and Isaac, with
his beloved Rebecca; and Jacob,
brought up from Egypt to lie laid
beside his Leah; all reposing in
death and Hades!
“ And among the sleepers are
Paul, from the block; Peter, from
the cross ; and l’olycrap, from the
stake, and Luther, from the rage
of Rome and hell! ”
And there, too, arc Anthony, and
Camp, and Hale; whose virtues
still Survive them, like the odors
of flowers fresh-fallen— and many
dear companions with whom they
walked, hand in hand, along the
path of life! All these have gone
lieloio |
[s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
No. 22.
j them in the narrow-house of hope.
In concluding this brief sketch
of Father Ifalc, I feel that it. is
very imperfect. I designed to de
lineate his character, and commend
his honest, straight-forward life,
as worthy of imi at ion.
His religious faith, I know, is
objected to by many who will read
this article. Of this, 1 have
1 nothing to say. It is not my busi
ness, nor my purpose, to discuss
it here.
He was an honest man ; honest
in his religious faith, and every
thing. His long life was a con
sistent one. He turned neither to
the right nor left, in his duty to
God nor his fellow man.
Let none say of him that he was
an ‘‘old Hard Shell,” and they can
have no fellowship! Let none say
of Anthony that he was a Missi»n.-
ary, and they have no confidence ;
nor of Ilosea Camp that he was a
Methodist, and expected to save
himself by works; nor of John S.
Wilson, that lie is a Calvinist,
and preaches a partial atonement!
A man's religious creed is not
' the criterion by which he should
be judged. Ilis walk, his life , is
the great test of character. The
world is full of error—has been,
is now, and wil. be until “the
old heaven and the old earth shall
have passed away, and the new
heaven and new earth sha I be ush
ered in!
Because we may differ with our
fellow-man, ’■« no evidence that he
is wrong or that we are right.
We all now see “as through a
glass, darkly ; ” and the vision is
different to many, even from the
same stand-point—the Bible. Some
are wrong, but who is it ?
“ Truth, crushed to earth, will rise again,
The Eternal Years of God are hers,
While error, wounded, writhes it: pair,
And dies amid ner worshippers.”
W.
A Cat’s Tale.
The captain of one of the largest
steamboats running on the Poto
mac was astonished one day lately,
as his boat touched the landing at
one of his river side watering
places not a great distance from
Washington, to hoc all the guests
assembled, with their baggage,
ready to take passage to the city.
In making inquiry ns to the cause
of this general exodus he soon
discovered that thereby hung a
tail. A cat’s. It appears that the
fare at the hotel disagreed with
the boarders, and not satisfied
with complaining, they took
French leave. A batch of dough
had been prepared for the oven
and placed on a table. A playful
kitten thought it would be nice to
] run over it, it looked so snowy,
; warm and tempting. Kitty tried
i it and soon found her delicate little
i feet sinking in the dough. She
! struggled to escape, and, like
! Governor Morton in the stolen
treaty business, only struggled to
sink deeper, until this youthful eat
disappeared entirely, and so, like
young Lochinvar, went into the
yeast. She never arose again, but
the bread did. It closed over this
unfortunate specimen, not leaving
a hair apparent, (kinky, of course,
was not aware that instead of a
loaf of bread she had a kitten
dumpling, and put the mass into
the oven and baked it. When the
bread was opened at breakfast
next morning, the birds did not be
gin to sing, but the boarders did.
They fairly howled with wrath.—
They knew that there had tieen h
family of kittens, and as hash had
been served for breakfast before
this extraordinary loaf was opened,
the conclusion was natural that
the other part of the family had
gone iuto the hash and gone down
their throats. They were first
taken with sea sickness, next with
home-sickness, and then ensued a
general packing up. The fashion
able summer resort was left with
no inhabitants but toe cook und
the barkeeper, aud what remained
of the family of kittens. — Cor.
New York Wo,ld.
The best mouth wash we
ever tried, is Darby’s Prophylactic
Fluid A few drops in some witter
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WIT AND HUMOR.
“S.ilt’’ is the subject of the
school boy's latest composition :
“ The salt is a spice, which spoilt
the poiatoez, if you forget to put
it on.”
An Atlanta girl said, the other
day, that the first time tier sweet*
heart squeezed her dress, site felt
that she was in the land where the
rainbow comes from.
Man—“ Why do you look so
closely at me? ”
Sharp boy—“ People say that
your wife keeps your nose to the
grindstone, and 1 was trying to
see bow sharp it was! ”
An Irishman accused of shoot
ing cattle, defended himself thus :
“Your honor, I loaded my gun
with salr and just let them have
it. I never knew that it was un
lawful to salt cattle!”
An Indiana county clcik lias
found iu his house a certificate
which reads: “'lbis is to certify
that I, William Sands, is agreed
that Jim Brown shall hev mv
Daughter Pat spy to wife this 17tL
of gennewerry. 1871 ”
“ Afri ” raid a Sunday-school
teacher, “ Caroline Jones, what do
you think yon would have been
without your good father and
mother?” ‘‘l suppose, mum,”
said Caroline, “ I suppose nt I
should ha’ been a horphan.”
After announcing the marriage
of Mr. John Dog to Miss Suliie
Day , a social country editor re
marked,that in tile above marriage
there was nothing remarkable, as
it was only fulfilling the old adage,
that “ every dog has his day.”
A young lady, member of the
choir in a church in Lyons, leaned
too far over the gallery during the
sermon, on Tunday, to look at a
new bonnet or something of the
kind, and, losing her balance, fell
headlong plump upon the head of
a deacon, bounding thence into
the aisle, veiy much demoralized,
but not seriously hurt. The dea
con complains of the headache
But the singer joined in the last
hymn.
An elderly lady who was hand
ling u pair of artificial plates in a
dental office, and admiring the
fluency with which the dentist de
scribed them, asked him, “Cana
body cat with these things? ” “My
dear madam, mastication can be
performed with a facility scarcely
equaled by nature herself,” re
sponded the dentist. “ Yes, I
know, but can a body cut with
them? ”
A lecturer undertook to explain
to a village audience the word
phenomenon. “ Maybe you don’t
know what a phenomenon is. Well,
I’ll tell you. You have seen a
cow, no doubt. Well, a cow is
not a phenomenon. You have
seen an apple tree. Well, an ap
ple tree is not a phenomenon. But
: when you see the cow go up the
tree, tail foremost, to pick the ap
; pies, it is a phenomenon.”
Tableau—Young man perched
I upon the back door steps of a cer*
j tain dry goods store ” whistling”
i a dirge, on his fife, to the memory
of a certain old Thomas “ kat,”
which was replied to by a senti
mental youth from inside by a
dvad march, Commemorative of
the “ Unfortunate Dog,’’ in strains
melodious, deep toned and im
pressive, echoing and re-echoing
upon the stilly evening air. — Car
tersville Ex pres*.
The Titusville Herald prints
the following first-class earning:
“Two well dressed and line
looking .allies instantly di.-Inerted
their ueeks while passing each
other, ill trying to discover wleit
each other had on. Il was cloudy;
the speed at which they were
moving, and tin* delicate shade of
the dry go ds worn by each, op
erated againsi tin in, ami a sudden
tack with all suil against a stiff
breeze, fetched them np too short,
and they perisded.”
Burial Hoag of the Carpet
bagger.
Not a drum was heard uor u funeral note,
As his corjiee to oblivion was hwiiad;:
Not a groan escaped a gentleman’s throat
When the carpet bagger was l>urj«d.
We buried him deep in dirty so;!
So deep that ihey’l ne’er uncover hin»..
L ilies* seme Radical boring for oil.
By tin'd-Hily-'o'.cd saint should dis
cover him.
His coffin was made of a bnlloi-box,
With white men's rotes wo i>o#»d him,
And be kicked like a baboon take'" >