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GWINNETT ATLAS. PUBLISHED EVERT WEDNESDAY, BY TYLER M. PEEPLES, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR, RATES OP SUBSCRIPTION’. Ooe Copy one year 82 00 One Copy six months 31 00 One Copy three months 50 Subscription rates are cash—payable In money or provisions. Any one obtaining five subscribers, and the money, will receive a copy free. Subscribers wishing iheir papers changed from one post-office to another, must state the name of the post-office from which they wish it changed, as well as that to which they wish it sent. LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS. Sheriff sales, per levy $2 50 Mortgage fi ia sales, per square... 500 Tax Collector's “ “ “ ... 5 00 Letters of administration 3 00 Notice to debtors and creditors... 5 00 Leave to sell land 5 00 Sale of land, per square 5 00 Letters of dismissioo 4 50 Application for homestead....... 2 00 Estray notices 3 00 ftaS”' Sales of land, by administrators, executors or guardians, are required by law to be held on the first Tuesday in the month, between the hours of ten in the forenoon and three ia the afternoon, at the Court-house in the Coilnty in which the property is situated. Notice of these sales must be given in h public gasettc 40 days previous to the nay of sale. Notice to debtors and creditors of an estate must also be published 40 days. Notice for the sale of personal proper ty must be given in like manner, 10 days previous to sale day. Notice that application will be made to the Court of Ordinary for leave to sell land must be published for four weeks. Citations on letters of administration, guardianship, &c., must be published 30 days; for dismission from administration, monthly, three months; for dismission from guardianship, 40 days. Rules for the foreclosure of mortgages must be published monthly, four months ; for establishing lost papers, for the full space of three months ; for compelling titles from executors or administrators, where bond has been given by the de ceased, the full space of three months. Sheriff’s sales must be published for four weeks. Estray notices, two weeks. Publications will always be continued according to these, the legal requirements, unless otherwise ordered. NEWSPAPER LAWS. We would call the special attention of Post Masters and our subscribers to the following synopsis of the Newspaper laws: 1. A Postmaster is required to give no. tice by letter, (returning a paper does not answer the law,) when a subscriber does not take his paper out of the ofllcc, and state the reasons for its not being taken, and neglect to do so makes the Postmas ter responsible to the publishers for t In payment. 2. Any person who takes a paper from the Post-Office, whether directed to his name or another, or whether he h>s sub' scribed or n t, is responsible for the |siy. 3. If a person orders his paper discon tinued he must pay all arrearages; or the publisher may continue to send it until payment is made, ar.d collect the whole amount, whether it be taken from the of fice or not. There ear, he no legal dis tontinuance until the payment is made. 4. If subscribers order the paper to be •topped at a certain time, end the pub lisher continues to send it, the sub crib or is bound to pay for it if he takes it out of the Post-Office. The law proceeds upon the ground that a man must pay for what he uses. ft. The courts have decided that refu sing to take newspapers and periodicals from the Post-office, or removing and leaving them uncalled for, is pnma facia evidence of intentional fraud. PROFESSIONAL CARPS. SAM. J. WINN. WM. E. SIMMONS. WINN & SIMMONS, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Lawrenceville, .Georgia. Practice in Gwinnett and the adjoining counties. rar 15-ly NATHAN L HUTCHINS, GARNETT m’mIU.AN, Lawrenceville, Ga. Clarksville, Ga. hutchins McMillan, ATTORNEY'S AT LAW. Offices at Lawrenceville and Clarksville. Practice in the counties of the Western Circuit, and in Milton and Forsyth of the Bine Ridge. mar 15-ly J. N. GLENN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA. Will promptly attend to all business entrusted to his care, and also to Land, Bounty and Pension claims mar lft-6m TYLER M. PEEPLES, ATTORNEY AT LAW, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA. Practices in the counties of Gwinnett, Hall, Jackson and Milton. Pension claims promptly attended to mar 15 -6m DR. TANDY K. MITCHELL, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA., Respectfully tenders a continuation of his professional services to the citizens generally. Keeps constantly on hand a good assortment of drugs and chemicals. Prescriptions carefully prepared, mar 15-ly A. J. SHAFFER, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA. mar 15-Cra Weekly Gwinnett Atlas. BY TYXER M PEEPLES ] Vol. I. J. Wiliis, Proprietor. R. H. McDonald * C®., Dniraiiti * Ova. Agent®, Sen Fnmcisco f Cal.,*ud 34 Commerce St., N,Y -9HLIiIONB Bear Testimony !• their Wanderful Curative Kfleets. Vinegar Bittern are not a vile Fancy Drink, Made of Poor Ruin, Whiskey, Proof Spirits and Refuse Liquors, doc tored, spiced and sweetened to please the taste, called “ Tonics,’* " Appetizers.” ** Restorers,” dtc., that lead the tippler on to drunkenness and ruin, but arc a true Medicine, mado from the Native Roots and Herbs of California, free from all Alcoholic Htimu hints. They arc the tIRKAT BLOOD PTRIFIER and A LIFE RIVINCj PRINCIPLE, a perfect Renovator and Invigrorator of the System, carry ing offall poisonous matter and restoring the blood to a healthy condition. No person can take these Bitters according to directions and remain lony unwell, provided their bones aro not destroyed by mineral poison or other means, and the vital organs wasted beyond the point of repair. They are a tieutic Purgative ns well as a Tonic, possessing, also, tho peculiar merit of acting as a powerful agent in relieving Conges tion or Inflammation of the Liver, and of all the Visceral Organs. FOR FEMALE COM PLAINTS, whether in young or old, married or single, at the dawn of womanhood or Bt the turn of life, these Tonic B*t tera have no equal. For liilluiHinntory and Chronic Rhea* mntirttii nnd bom, Dyspepsia or In digestion, Bilious, Remittent nnd 1. '-miltent Fevers, I)isouses of the Blood, l.Wer, Kidneys and Bladder, these Hitters have been most successful. Such Diseases arc caustd by Vitiated Blood, which is generally produced by derangement of the Digestive Organs. DYISPKI’HI A OR INDIGESTION, Headache, Pain in the Shoulders, Coughs, Tight* ness of the Chest, Dizziness, Sour Eructations of the Stomach, Bad Taste in the Mouth, Biliona Attacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Inflammation of the Lungs, Pain in then-pious of the Kidneys, and a hundred other painful symptoms are the off springs of Dyapepsia. They invigorate the Stomach and stimulate the torpid Liver and Bowels, which render them of unequalled efficacy in cleansing the blood of all im purities, and imparting new life and vigor to tho whole system. FOR SKIN DISEASES, Eruption*,Tetter Salt Rheum, Blotches, Sjiots, l' .nples. Pustules, Boils, Carbuncles, Ring-Worms, S< a!d Head, Sore Bye*. Erysipelas. Itch Scurfs. Dis olorationsof the Skin, Humors and Disease;.* of the Skin, of what ever name or nature, are literally dug up and car ried out of the system in a short time by the use of these Bitters. One bottle in mch cases will con vince the most incredulous of their curative effect. Cleanse th*« Vitiated Blood whenever you find its Impurities bursting* through the skin in Pimple*, Eruptions or Sores; cleanse it when you find it obstructed and sluggish in the veins; cleanse it when it is foul,and your feelings will tell you when. Keep the blood imre, ami the health of the system will follow. PIN, TAPE* nnd other WORMS, urking in the system of so many thousands, arc effectually destroyed nnd removed. BOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS. J. WALKED, Proprietor. R. H. MCDONALD A CO., Druggists ami Gen. Agent*. San Francisco, Cal., »«•* aod ftl Commerce Street. New York. NEW MAP OF GEORGIA. The undersigned, having just issued, dow offers to the public, a New Map of the State of Georgia, exhibiting all the new counties, county towns, villages, post offices, and the whole network of railroads, highways, rivers, creeks and water courses in the State. It is a correct, transcript from the rec ords in the Surveyor General’s office, show ing the surveyed districts, with the num bers of the lot of land in the corner of each, and a complete Check Map for all portions of the State, surveyed in lots of 490 acres. It also exhibits that portion of Florida bounded on the South. Size of Map, 5bx67 inches. Mounted form 810 ; dissected form 810. Compiled by James R. Butts, 1859. Revised and published by A. G. Butts, Macon, Ga., 1870. Agents wanted in every county. Orders will be filled by the editor of the Gwinnett Atlas (who has one of these maps at his office for inspection), or by A. G BUTTS, ap s—ts Macon, Ga. EUMELAIS GRAPE VINES, The Best Wine and Table Crape oj America ! The subscriber is prepared to furnish a limited supply of this new and very supe rior Grape at $1 60 each ; 816 per dozen, 812 ft per 100. It is earlier and more productive than the Hartford ; hardier and more vigorous than the Concord, equal in quality to the Delaware. Superior, as a Red Wine Grape, to the Norton. Com petent judges, in every section, have pro nounced it the best Black Grape and the best Red Wme Grape of America. Send stamp for a circular. THREE SUPERIOR OOUTHERN SEEDLING STRAW- O BERRIES, Southern Excelsior, General Beauregard, and Stonewall Jackson. These varieties are vigorous and hardy, very large, immensely productive, firm, •weet and superior flavor. They are, be yond doubt, the best market and garden strawberries before the public. Sent by mail at 84 per dozen, or one dozen of each for 810. HENRY A. PRICE , Eumelan Vineyard and Nursery, Central Plains, Fluvanna Co., Va. mar 29-1 y Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, August 16, 1871. [communicated.] Mr. Editor —l gave you, for your last week’s issue, the beautiful poem by Richard Nisbet, the lunatic. That poem, although very beauti ful, was considered as wanting in | evangelical sentiment, and caused the following equally beautiful poem, which I cull, and send you, from the same old ‘‘Casket.’’ Your readers ought to preserve these for a future day. They will be equally preuy forty years hence as ; they were forty years ago, when they t were first published. W. To Richard Nisbet, ON SEEING HIS ADDRESS TO THE EVENING STAR. | “lam the root and offspring of David, and the bright and Morning Star.”—Rev. ; xxii.,l6. j Poor maniac I how I pity thee, j That thou no other star could'st see ; And think tbut none but this we need Man’s*devious, lonely steps to lead! But, ah ! not even reason’s my Shall ever cheer thee on thy way ! Behold I in yonder Eastern skies, A milder, lovelier Star arise, Diffusing light and joy afar : It is “ the bright and Morning Star.” This usbers in a glorious day, And lights the prlgrim on his way. “ The evening star of reason ” thine, “ The bright and Morning Star ” be mine; Reason may “ lead to that cold clay, Where ends the wanderer’s earthly way But o’er the grave this Star shall rise, And point the pilgrim to the skies. Oh! lovely “ bright and Morning Star,” Spread thou thy precious beams afar, And make the light of truth divine In every human bosom shine; Conduct the pilgrim on his way, To realms of an eternal day. Be thou my guide, where'er I roam, And lead me to my heavenly home; Oh! light me to that blessed shore, Where friends shall meet to part no more, (lather all i utions from afar, And be to them a “ Ruling Star.' A Touching Obituary. A disconsolate editor thus bewails the loss of his wife, and apostrophises her memoty : Thus my wife died. No more Will those loving hands pull off my hoots and part my hair back, as only a true wife can. No more will those loving feet replenish the coal hod anil water pail. No more will she arise amid the tempestuous storms of winter, and gladly hie herself away to build the fire, without disturbing the slum bers of the man who doted on her so artlessly. Her memory is embalmed in my "heart of hearts. I wanted to embalm her memory much cheaper. I procured of Eli Mudget, a neigh bor of mine, a very pretty gravestone. His wife was consumptive, and he had kept it on hand several years in anticipation of her death ; but she ral lied that, spring, and his hopes were blasted. Never shall 1 forget the man’s grief when I asked him to part with it. “Take it, Skin nor,” said he, “ and may you never know what it is to have your soul racked with disappointment, as mine oas been ; ” and he burst into a flood of tears. His spirit was indeed utterly broken. I had the following epistle engrav ed upon her gravestone: “To (lie memory of Tabitha, wife of Moses Skinner, Esq., gentlemanly editor of the Tromebone. Terms, three dollars a year, invariably in advance. A kind mother and ex emplary wife. Office over Coleman’s grocery, up two flights of stairs. Knock hard. We shall miss thee, mother, we shall miss thee. Job printing solicited.” Thus did my lacerated spirit cry out in agony, even as Rachel weeping for her children. But one ray of light penetrated the despair of my soul. The undertaker took his pay in job printing, and the sexton owed me a little account I should not have gotten any other way. Why should we pine at the mysterious ways of Providence and vicinity ? I here pause to drop a silent tear to the memory of Tabitha Ripley, that was. She was an eminently pious woman, and could fry the best piece of tripe I ever flung under my veat. Her pick up dinners were a perfect success, and she always doted on foreign missions. Jgr-The editor of tbe Jacksonville (Ala.) Republican is one of tbe oldest and most reliable newspaper men in the South. In a recent number of his paper, he say* : “ We are gratified in being able, most candidly and sincerely, to recom mend this truly valuable and useful medi cine (I)urby’s Prophylactic Fluid) to our readers. We have used it in our family and know how highly it is estimated by others who have used it” (“ WHAT IS IT BUT A MAP OF BUSY LIFE ? ”) Written for the Gwinnett Atlas. Pen and Ink Sketches~No. 7. COL. HENRY P. THOMAS. Col. Thomas was born in Frank lin county, Ga, on the 25th of May, 1810. * He was reared upon his father’s farm, and when 16 years of age, was sent to school at Salem, Clark county, Ga. Afterwards his edu cation was continued at Frank lin College. He graduated at that institution, along with Howell Cobb, Alexan der H. Stephens and William H. Crawford, Jr., in the class of 1832. After the completion of his col legiate course, he taught school, one year, at Ruckersville, in Elbert county, and among his scholars was Peter W. Alexander, the cel ebrated army correspondent in the late war—whose letters were read with so much interest by our peo ple. In 1835, he commenced the study of law, under Col. Joscqdi Ligon, at Watkinsville. Upon his admission to the bar, iu 1836, he removed to ville, with the view of practicing his profession, and did so, in part nership with John B. Trippe, who died lately iu Milledgcville. On the sth of December, 1837, he married Miss Ellen E. Bur roughs, who lived in Columbia county, in this State, which good lady yet survives him. lie was a Lieutenant-C'otonqj of volunteers in the Creek war of 1836, and served under General Scott; part of the time was on General Scott’s staff. In 1844, Colonel Thomas relin. quished the practice of the law, and removed to his plantation on the head waters of the Apalachee, where he continued to reside until the date of his death, which oc curred at Knoxville, Tenn., on the 29th of November, 1863. He fell at the head of his brigade, upon the parapet of Fort Saunders, atjhe assault upon that strong hold, pierced by fourteen rifle balls! He had been wounded early in the action, in the right arm, but refused to resign his command. He was killed while in command of Cobb’s old brigade—Col. Ruff, of the 18th Georgia, having been’ killed about five minutes before Col. Thomas Col. Thomas held many positions of honor and trust, having been Judge of the Court of Ordinary of his county, and twice mem ber of the Legislature —once as Senator, and once as Representa tive--besides having been a dele gate to many of the political con ventions of his party, both iu his district and State. He was a member of the Charleston Con vention, in 1860, and also to its adjourned sittings at Baltimore, a month later, and voted for the nomination of John C. Breeken ridge, and died defending the po litical principles he had always believed to be correct. Col. Thomas was a man to show his faith by his works. He was a strong advocate for the secession of the Southern States from the | Union, after the election of Mr. Liucoln to the Presidency. When Georgia and the other Southern States passed their ordinances of j secession, and Mr. Lincoln made war upon us, he raised the first j company of volunteers from this county—the old “ Hutchins’ Guards”—and was elected cap tain; and, like Bartow and a thousand other gallant Georgians, “ illustrated Georgia ” on a hun dred battle-fields. He was in the seven days’ battles around Rich mond, in 1862—at Crampton’s Gap, at Fredericksburg, at Chan cellorsvilte, at Sharpsbnrg, at Gettysburg, at Knoxville, aod wherever the battle raged fiercest, in behalf, and in defence of his loved South. I hope I shall be pardoned, if I give some personal reminiscences, which I feel may bring the writer with too much prominence before the reader. I would gladly dis connect myself from them if I could. I only design to speak of my friend; to point out incidents i and reminiscences that I hope and believe will interest his old friends, even with any connection I may have with them. He came to Lawrencevillc when a young man—only one year out of college—-with a classical edu cation, and his prospects in life of the most flattering character. The writer of this unpretending memorial wu3 just grown up, and six years his senior. Between his father and mine was an enmity as bitter as the grave, growing out of the celebrated “ Patterson law suit.’’ We met, were introduced —1 having a prejudice against his name; he, probably, against mine. His open, manly face pleased me. Wo became friends at once, which grew, on my part, with my years, (“ I had no cause toliold his friend ship doubtful,”) and which Con tinued until he fell on the bloody field of Knoxville. We differed in politics from 1840 to 1860; often meeting upon the stump at the public places in our county—be on one side, and I on the other. But no personal ani mosity or rupture ever occurred between us; and it is attributable solely to liis high, noble manliness, and to no virtue on my part. He was a noble, high-toned adversa ry; never making a political dis agreement a matter of personal dislike. '1 he last time I ever saw him was at his tent in Fredericksburg, about the liist of 1803. lie had, a few days before, passed through the terrible light of the 13th of December, in which General Tom. Cobb was killed, lie was ill good vein, for the Yankees had met a terrible defeat. The writer found it important to borrow a horse, for half a day, to enable him to accomplish a pur pose —important to him—iu a short, space ol tune, to enable him to get back to Richmond by the evening train, from ” Hamilton’s Crossing.” I applied to Colonel Thomas for his, and he was brought up and saddled for me. I was a little distrustful of his “ old Ball,” for the boys had spoke, in my pres ence, of his running away with the Colonel, a short time before, when on “ dress parade.” When brought up, his appear ance did not seem to indicate a great deal of spirit, but showed signs of having seen some service, and some privations, common to all his kind, then and there. 1 asked the Colonel if 1 would need a spur, to which he replied : “Yes, two of them; one in the head and one in the heel, and the one in the head will be worth two in the heel! ” Ho furnished me both, and I found both of much service in enabling me to accom plish my undertaking—more es pecially the one in the head ! Col. Thomas may have had his faults. All meu have them—some can sec them glaringly in others, but not in themselves. No mor tal man has lived who had them not, and the best man that ever lived was not free from them. Even Abraham, “ the Father of the Faithful,” lied before God, in representing his beautiful Sarah as his sister, instead of his wife! Jacob cheated liis brother out of his birth right, and his father-in law out of his cattle, and was a swindler! David, " the sweet singer of Israel,” committed mur der in the case of Uriah, and then j took his wifet Paul was an un- j relenting persecutor of the saints J [s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE. No. 23. of God, even unto death ! I’eter, a beloved disciple, demon his Lord —lied in his throat —profaned the name of his *Master, whom he professed to serve, and committed mayhem, by cutting off the ear ol the high priest's servant! Col. Thomas w as not a religious man —did not claim to be —but was infinitely better than thou sands who profess to be sucli! Hu was generous, high-toned, chivalrous; and manly in the high est sense of that term! “ Let liis faults be writ in water ; Ilia good deeds live in brass ! ” w. News Items. It is announced, says the Chica go Times, that the Ku-Klux com mittee propose to ask the Presi dent to declare martial law in three counties in South Carolina To declare martial law in three conn ties, is just as unconstitutional, and just as outrageous, as though it included every inch of territory in the Union. Nevcrthe ess, mar tial law in three counties in a sin gle Southern State will not secure Mr. Grant’s election. As his nom ination nnd election were the main, if not the entire, object sought by appointing the Ku-Klux commit tee, is not tho narrowing of mar tial law down to three counties a very impotent recommendation fur the furtherance of the Presi dential campaign of Mr. Grant?— At. Constitution, Gen. McCook, the Democratic candidate for Governor of Ohio, has entered Upon the canvass in that State with vigor and energy. The Republican press admit that his audiences aro large, and that the enthusiasm is great, and it is very perceptible that his speeches are having a decided effect. Mrs. Alexander Hamilton the wife of Colonel Alexander Hamilton, and a niece of President Monroe, died, at New Brunswick, Ne*» Jersey, on Fri day night. The Persian minister at London denies emphatically the reports of ravages committed hy famine, plague and cholera in Persia. Kev. Phillips brooks, of Philadel phia, lias sensibly declined an honor ary degree of D. !). It is getting to he too common. R. B. McGee, a prominent citi zen of Tennessee, haa been arrest ed in New York for passing coun terfeit money. Great Men Quarreling about Bacon and Greens.— Mr. Jefferson, having invited Patrick Henry to dine at one of liis aristocratic feasts, the chef d’aeuvre of his celebrated French cook, was mortified to find that the Governor declined to pal take of each and every one of the elegant and elaborate creations of the ac complished French art. At last, having run through the eartp, the President begged that Gov. Henry would say what he would have. “ I will thank you, sir, for some bacon and greens,” was the easy reply. Mr. Jefferson could hardly restrain liis surprise at so novel a demand, and begged that the Governor would ex cuse him on account of liis long absence from Virginia, for forgetting there was such r. dish still in demand among civilized peoplo as “ bacon and greens.” Mr. Henry never forgot the reproof, and when lie returned to Virginia, he denounced Mr. Jeffer son as a traitor to his “nateml vit tals.” On the oilier hand, Mr. Jef ferson left on record liis opinion of Patrick Henry “ as a man of low tastes and vulgar associations.”— New Orleans Times. Editorial Wit.— We clip the following from the New York Com mercial Advertiser, of Friday : The New Orleans Republican is sarcastic. Hear it: One of the live liest newspaper parugraphisU in the country is Alec. Stephens, of the Atlanta Sun lie had a squib in his last issue which was only five columns long. But Alec is a sharp paragrnph ist in spite of this sarcasm. Witness —the Louisville Journal, alluding to the report that the little man had gained nine pounds since he was last weighed, remarked that he must have had one of his editorials in his pock et; whereupon Alec keenly retorted : “If the Journal editor should put one of his editorials in his pocket, he’d go up like a balloon.” We have not had the Journal editor’s reply yet, but we rather think he won’t “ go n Alec any better. RATES OF ADVERTISING. space | 3 mo’s. | 0 mo’s. 12 mo's. i square ¥ 4 do £ 0 GO $ It) 09 -■••‘id rs « l«l 10 00 15 00 • ! aqr » 800 11 00 20 00 >4 ti l. 12 00 20 00 I 31(0 .. col. 20 00 35 00 i 00 O.i O-c I. 4i 00 75 j 'Oil Oil The money tor advertisements Is flue on the first insertion. A square is the space of one inch in depth of the column, irrespective of the number of lines. Marriages and deaths, not exceeding six line's, published Iree. For a man ad vertising liis wife, and all other personal matter, double rates will be charged. WIT AND HUMOR. An Indian called at a tavern in the fall of the year for a dram. The landlord a-ked him two coppers for it. The next spring, happening at the same house, lie called for another, and had to pay tlireo coppers for it; “llow is this, landlord I ” says he! “Last fall yon asked me two coppers for a glass of rum, and now you ask three.” “Cli,” says the landlord, “it costs me a good deal to keep rum over winter. It is as expensive to keep a hogshead of rum over winter as a horse.” “ All,” says the Indian, “ I can’t see through that. He won’t eat so much hay ; may be he drink ns much water.” A newly fledged Philadelphia doc tor recently settled in Havana, Illi nois, and tho first case he had was a boy who, while shdling popcorn, got a kernel in his windpipe. The doc tor examined the patient carefully, looked at the patient’s tongue, and then told tho father of the boy to build up a fire. When that was done, tho doctor told them to take the twiy and hold him over the firo until the kernel got hot enough to “ pop out.” The old man went up stairs and got the shot gull, but while lie was loading it the doctor escaped. “ Now, young people,” said a pro fossor of natural history to his class— “ now, then, as to liens: a hen has the capacity of laying just 600 eggs, and no more; and she finishes the job in just about five years. Now, what is to he done with her after that?” “Cut off her head and soli her for a spring chicken!” exclaimed an urchin whore father dealt in poultry A drawing-master, worrying his pupil with contemptuous •remarks upon his Isck of ability, ended by asking l “ Now, sir, if you were going to draw me, what part of me would you commence first? The boy, with a meaning look into his master’s face, answered Very quietly : “ Your neck, sir.” An Indiana paper says; “If t.he party who plays the accordeon in this vicinity at night, will only change his tune occasionally, or sit where we can scald him when the engine has steam on, he will hear of something to his advantage.” The editor of a Western paper, in his last issue, says : “ We cannot ex ist any longer on fine-wood, maple' sugar and sheep skin*. We bid our patrons good bye, and offer for sale two hundred bushels seed potatoes, slightly frost bitten.” A man with a moderate appetite dined at a hotel, and after eating the whole of a pig, was asked if lie would not have some podding. He said lie did not care much about pudding, hut if they had another little hog he’d' thank them for it. “ W liat is your consolation in life and uoHlh ? ’’ miked a Sunday-school superintendent of a young lady in the 'Bible class, who blushed and said ; “ I’d rather be excused from* speaking his name,” “ Arn dose bells ringin’ f«r fire?” inquired Simon of Tiber us. “No, indeed,” answered Tibe. “ Dey bab got plenty ob fife, an’ do beli* am ringin for water.” . “ Is your brother-in-law really such a lazy man?” “Lazy!” was the : reply. “ Why, he is so lazy that he has an artist employed by the month to draw his breath by r efavon ! ’’ A philosopher who married a mlgar. hut amiable girl, **sed to call her, “ Brown Sugar,” 1 -.cause, he saiil, “ She was sweet but unrefine 1.” The fell w who parts his hair in the middle wants to g, t married—or at least we expect so, from the way i he eyes the young ladies at church. A Wisconsin man applied for a divorce on the ground that his wife had become w.-ak, and “ couldn't work on the farm as she used to.” It is not known whether Treas urer Spinner will return from Europe soon. His signature is doing as well as could be xpected. There is a lad of our acquaintance who regards hunger and the chasten ing rod as about the same tiling: both mako the bey holler. A contemporary accuses Vinnie Beam o f being a “designing” woman. Nornense ! There never was a more artless young denture. The man who did not believe in advertising has gone into partnership with the sheriff, ami the latter new does the advertising. A Connecticut editor unkindly al ludes to a rivk! editor’s head aa the Polar regions, because it is a great white Lure place.