The weekly banner. (Conyers, Ga.) 1900-1901, October 17, 1900, Image 4

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The weekly banner., October 17, 1900, Image 4

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Newspaper Page TextTHE PERSON WHO IS HLMRY FOR BARGAINS WILL i. J. J. LANCFORD & SON p The place to get a “Square Meal” in Dry Goods, Notions, Shoes and Hats. __________________ GENT’S FURNISHINGS —----— Our Gents Furnishing department will be the most complete we have ever shown. Gall and inspect it. GOOD Repair Shop *- • # • I am repairing Bicycles, Watches, Clocks, Guns, Pistols, Machines Etc., on short notice and in a satis factory manner. All work well and neatly done and at reasonable prices. Shop flrstdoor above C. B. Hudson's store. Come to see me, Satisfaction guaranteed. C. B. IRWIN. What la Sanee For the fioo**, Tbc groom entered alone and said confidentially, “Do you use the word ‘obey’ In your marriage service, Mr. -r “No,” said the minister; “I do not, usually.” “Well,” said the exp vtnnt Benedict, “1 have come to usk jovv to marry me now, and I want It used.” "Certainly,” replied the other. "It shall be done,” and presently the cou¬ ple stood solemnly before him. ‘‘James T-said the clergyman, “do you take this woman to be your wedded wife?” “1 do." "Do you solemnly promise to love, honor and obey her so long ns you both shall live?” Honor and rebellion struggled with the sanc¬ tities of tire occasion on * the bride¬ groom’s face, hut he chokingly respond¬ ed. “1 do," and the meek bride deco¬ rously promised In her turn. After the ceremony was over the bridegroom said excitedly aside to the grave minister: “You misunderstood me. sir; you misunderstood me! 1 re¬ ferred to the woman’s promising to „l*ey.” “Ah. did his' vou. Indeed V serene ]y answered reverence. “But 1 x.olnk what Is good for one side is good for the other, don’t you? And. my -Hond. It Is uiy advice to you to say nothing more about it. for, ns a:i old married man. 1 can tell you you’ll lmve to obev aavliovv.”' —Woman's Journal, ' . '_________ Uairk Collection. “Myl What a splendid library your Jhustmnd tins, Mrs. Flashlngton. It must have taken him years aud years to get all those books together.” “Oh. no. We moved in f o a house two years ago that had book shelves built all around one room, and he done It In about three weeks.”—Chicago ITlmes-Hernld. Coadeaeenslon. “Well, tills is great, l must say.” ••Whnt’a u.v umtti'tT “I gave Delia money to get me some things in Paris, and here she sends a Bote with them worded ns if she were pnukfng me a present of them.”—Indi fenapolis Journal. The "cash" is the most common eir •minting coin of China. It is a copi>er 0hd zinc piece about the size of the >merican quarter of a dollar, with a •qnare bole in the center for conven fence in stringing many of them to get her. “There’s no time like the present,” said the young college man as he turn¬ ed over to Ills “uncle” the watch his grandfather hud given litrn last birth¬ day.—Syracuse Herald. The Bengal cavalry, which consti¬ tutes the bodyguard of the governor general of India, was raised as far back as 1775. Too Much Latitude. With a bright smile the beautiful Eskimo girl left us to join the merry throng in the ballroom. “Your daughter la a gay butterfly!” 1 exclaimed, desiring to be very com¬ plimentary. “For my part, I don’t think much of this social life,” replied the ntatUer, with sudden vehemence. "The idea of dancing every night till away along In March and then lying in bed next day until Aug. l or such a matter!” It was on my tongue to say that these young people had too much lati¬ tude, but 1 checked myself.—Detroit Journal. Tnrned mm Trade. A retired cheesemonger, who hated an allusion to the business that had enriched him. said to Charbs Lamb in the course of a discussion on the poor taws. “You must bear in mind, sir, Umt l have got rid of that sort of stuff v. Rich you poets call ‘the milk of human kindness.’ ” ijimi, looked at him steadily and gave j lis acquiescence in these pithy VV ords: “Yes. 1 am aware of that. You j U111(1 j jt all into cheese several years ago." * A Shifting: Location, "Mldgely ls n poetical fellow. I asked him bow tall his now sweetheart is. He answered. ‘Just as tall as my heart’ ” “There Is no sense in that—anyway not lu Midgely’s case. He told me that the first time the girl’s gruff old father came into the parlor his heart was In j his boots.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. There’* a Girl Worth tlnrintr. He—l don’t believe your father will give his couscut. I haven't got much. you know. she—That doesn't matter. The first tuoutii tve can live ou love, the second I’ll begin to borrow tbiugs from mam mn and about the third papa will get i tired of it and come to the rescue.— Stray Stories. Roll a'Puinpliln. The Rev. John Haynes was famous for his pithy sayings. At one time, says one of our exchanges, he over¬ heard his daughter and some young friends criticising certain neighbors more severely than was pleasing to h'ra, whereupon he proceeded to read them a lecture on the sinfulness of scandal. “But, father,” remonstrated his daughter, “we must say something ” “If you can do nothing better,” re¬ torted Mr. Haynes dryly, “get a pump¬ kin and roil It about. That will be at least an Innocent diversion.” Not long afterward a conference of ministers met at his house. During the evening an earnest discussion on certain points of doctrine arose, and, fr.rn the lofty pitch of some of the voices, it seemed as If part of the dis¬ putants at least were In danger of los¬ ing their temper. At that juncture Mr. Haynes’ daugh¬ ter quietly entered the room, bearing a huge pumpkin. She put It down in front of her father and said: “There, father, roll It about Roll it about.” Mr. Haynes was called upon for an explanation, and good humor was re¬ stored. Knew They Were Americans. A compliment and a slur In the same breath are in a letter I received from a Washington girl In Paris. “We were dining at Joseph’s the oth¬ er night,” she writes, “when a delight¬ fully dressed woman sitting at a table near with a party of three sent one of the men with her to ask father if we were not Americans. She seemed to be saying 'I told you so’ to her friends, and as we came out she stopped me in the corridor to explain her odd pro¬ ceeding. She was politeness itself. “ ‘Mademoiselle will pardon me,’ she said with the moAt charming accent, ‘but it was a wager. I have wagered ray husband that we shall see 50 Americans this evening. It Is now 35 we Lave seen, and Mme. B., who Is i with us. would not believe yon were Americans. Mais, I was sure—sure!’ “ ‘Why were you so suve of it? 1 I ask ed. “Madame flashed a dazzling smile at me. “ ‘Oli!’ she said, ‘the Americans have always the voices of the worst am! the i manners at table of the very, very best. 1 was sure!’ ” — Washington Post Larwest of Animals. Mr. Beddard in his book on whales reminds readers that although lrnagi « ation ls a P‘ t0 P letl,re the « ,ant r “P* Hies of the Jurassic and cretaceous j periods as having exceeded in size all {modern evidence animats that the yet earth in fact has there ever is eon- no , talned either the land in the j ; oil or sea creatures exceeding the whale Inibu „ k. Tiie mammoth was larger than the ele pliant, but the Ichthyosaurus could not the whale for size, although with Its terrible jaws It would doubt l° ss have been the whale’s master, A MlsunderatRndlng. “Here! Where are you going?” cried the housekeeper. “Why, lady,” replied Harvard Has ben, “I don’t suppose you want me to get my board here permanent.” ! “None of your impertinence! Before 1 gave you your dinner I asked you if you were ready to go to work at once, aud you said ‘yes. »», ) “My goodness! Did you say ‘at once?' I understood you to say ‘once.’ 1 thought you were curious about mv past.”—Philadelphia Press. i Of Two Kvlls. “Buggies, I am sorry to hear you were burned out the other day. Did you lose all your household goods?” “Yes, but we don’t feel so awfully bad over it Lumpkin. We expected! I to have to move next week anyway."— Chicago Tribune. The Money In His Pocket. A young Plttsburger arose from hia bed one morning and, dressing, went down stairs to breakfast. As be sat at the table he carelessly put bis right hand Into his trousers pocket and was surprised to find $7.25. He knew that when he retired for the night he had just 25 cents and had fallen asleep while wondering where he could bor¬ row money the next morning. He was highly elated over the discovery, for, although he thought long and hard, he could not remember how he had come into the possession of the money. After work that day he took a friend to the opera and later to supper. When he returned home about midnight, a brother stepped into his room and said, “Harry, did you pay that bill for me today?” The young man was almost dum foumled. It all came to him at once. Shortly after ho had retired the pre¬ vious night his brother had entered the room and, placing the money In his trousers pocket, said: “Say, old man, when you go down town tomorrow, I wish you would pay Mr. -that bill I owe him. I promised to let him have It by tomorrow.” The young man was dozing at the time, and that accounts for his failure to remember what his brother had said to him. He was kept busy borrowing from friends to make up the amount the next day, and he declares that hereafter his brother will have to pay his own bills.- Pittsburg Chronicle. A* She Described It. It was the first day of school. The bell had tapped, and the little children of the secondary primary were sitting upright In their seats, hands properly folded and with round eyes fixed on the new teacher, taking a mental In¬ ventory. She wag a bit nervous. It was her first school. The children made her “fidgety,” they staved at her so hard and watched her so narrowly. She began to feel like a mouse that Is within the dutches of a cat She cast about wildly in her mind for some occupation to begin the first day. She regretted bitterly that she bad not ar¬ ranged some definite plan of campaign. Then her face brightened. She would find out what the children already knew. Question followed question, touching on divers subjects. “Now, who knows what a skeleton is?” asked the teacher, smiling eoax ingly The little girl wearing the pink ging¬ ham apron and occupying the back seat waved her hand wildly and work¬ ed her mouth in frantic endeavor to get “teacher” to look at her. “Well, what is it?” “A skeleton.” said the tot, twisting her apron in her fingers, “is a man who has his insides outside and his outsides off.”—Denver Times. Advantages, of Long Sentences. The last summer, when 1 was on my way back to Vienna from the appetite cure In the mountains, I fell over a cliff in the twilight and broke some arms aud legs aud one thing or another and by good luck was found by some peasants who had lost an ass, and they carried me to the nearest habitation, which was one of those large, low, thatch roofed farmhouses, with apart¬ ments in the garret for the family and a cunning little porch under the deep gable decorated with boxes of bright colored flowers and cats; on tbe ground floor a large and light sitting room, separated from the milk cattle apart rnent by a partition, and In tbe front yard rose, stately aud fine, tbe wealth and pride of tbe house, the manure one That sentence is Germanic and shows that I nin acquiring that sort of mas tery of the art and spirit of tbe lan guage which enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without ebang ing cars.—Mark Twain In “The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg.” MONUMENT CO. DAVIES & NERI, managers . 614 TEMPLE COURT. BELL ’PHONE 3339 ATLANTA, GA. MONUMENTS. Granite and Marble Work of Every Description. Mail orders given prompt attention, NEW MEAT MARKET I have opened up a meat market in Corner storeroom in Night building. \kY\W keep race, kesh meats, seuvissise ©tic., ©.t reasonabta pr\OQ8. \ so\\c\Uhe u'S^ron Give me ei CalL MBngaa; > *>ig.«aa and I am prepared to give prompt satisfactory attention to all who need my services Supply of Undertakin s> tr » o cods complete. Hearses furnished without ex¬ tra charge. W. V. / * V fc. ■i * *** v A* ?• V-. Office Aimantl Hat (inure OuA ^ ££ i earn* k y 5 i for Infants and CidMrau. ftotkf S? •«. Maik svm ffSKicnt tf ’*' — _r- . . v * V" . \ - \ \ O © wk \ O. S VEMTIST. CONYERS, - - - GEORGIA. . w k w Prices -ea-onabie. Teeth i etnextlacted extracted i out pam or bad afieets, by use of nitrous oxide gas. (Laughing-gas) wit (Over 60,000 administrations a* ou fc a single dangerotis symtom. Office ** over post office. j p f. HOPKINS, D.D.8. THE GEORGIA RAILROAD Routes, ,. For information as to Schedules and rates, both Passenger and freight write 1 1 either of the undersi^i-ce . You will receive prompt and reliable information C. G. !VJeMiliin, A G. -Tacks n T. P. A. G. P- A lUAUSTA, GA 5. is. Musill, C. D. Cox, Gen’i Agfc. Gen’l Agt. ATLANTA, ATHENS, \V. W. Hardwick, W. C. McMillu* Gen’l Agt. C. F. & P- A. MACON. MACON M. R. Hudson, W. W. McGovern. T.F. &P. A. Gen’l Agt ATLANTA, AUGUSTA DISMISSION. whom it concern.- t u ° H. ’ To may ^ ie Almond adm: aistratorof Dr. J. A ' late cf raid oonn'y, deceased, ba» , and apphedtor let i mauehie nmuretn.n -etn n aaa ^tar iersot dismission as ‘ eont }, first and I will ^ n e pass n V under Monday in October, i - Given x and official signatn July m y hand 3rd, 1900. Ord. A. M. Helms;