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Lceif«o» PHiras. ..*1 25
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»tw-- ta Constitution, 1 yr. 2 00
,nt Atl an
EVERY FBIDAY RY
-n* ( HALE & WHITE, Editors.
0S- )
for Sample Copy Free
II w. WEAVER & BRO.
Convers, Ga.
___DEALERS IN a LL KINDS OF
n goods & Notions -
!
“YjdlS
,. ,.[ a ts, Caps, Boots & Shoes also Groceries such as Sugar,
t ' U a SyVup. Grits, Meal, Oat Meal, Tobacco,
Iff Tea, Rice, Snuff etc.
Joie 1 t ': ' > ^ e ca ]j eS j>ecia] attention to our hne of
JS8
|CYGROCER’ES&CONFECTION tanned tomatoes, peaches, pineapples, oysters, salmon, ERl’S Mack
rsardines, condensed mi,k, jelly, pickles, baking candy both fancy and
l nuts raisins, citron, macaroni, one spoon powders, Hors¬
ebread preparation, etc., etc. Our pepper and spices both ground
a nd grain are the very best in the market.
f 1 f S»S A SUM »
also keep a «ocd variety of Fresh Crackers, both plain aud sweet, \
i the celebrated, Lustro Shoe and Stove Polish. A good line of
Table and Pocket cutlery, Crockery, Glass and Woodware, etc,
@arWE MAKE FINE CIGARS A SPECIALTY,
motto: Short Profits and quick Sales- Terms Strictly
tU. W. WEAVER & BRO.
Jones £ Company
ier Commerce and Warehouse Sts- CONYERS- GA.
toon buysbs 9
_HEADQUARTERS FOR* ALL KINDS OF
meral Merchandise at Bottom PriceS.
-nts for the NEW HOME Sewing Machine. ELF We keep all kinds of
jarSEWING MACHINE NEEDLES.-®#
dquarters For all School Books adopted by the Board
of School Commissioners of this county.
:
i
MORE POPULAR THAR EVER.
The Recent Improvements Made in The
KITE SEWI’G MACHINE!
ADD MUCH TO THto
lY EXCELLENT QlLflL- m
I of this
perior Machine.
lanEspeial Favorite of Ladies, nsl m ; E,
| Tail os aud Others, mm Tv
ire them for the many advantages :i.
Isess over other Sewing Machines.
RY WHITE MACHINE * I
I Warrented for 5 years. A
J.R .&T.F. SMITH. rijaacHSandB mm
Wholesale and Retail Dealers, ft krnMm - - att .gsgfilrVva
poad St., Atlanta Georgia. M mv
ID.M. ALMAND, Agents,
Conyers, Georgia.
iarriage I ■
i^ANGPOHB iY ._,
I w w *
! ..... Wag Biigies, M’Y
J
own make.
warranted to be first-class in every particular.
*p also a GOOD LINE of Western Carriages and Bug¬
> gies which I sell LOW DOWN
ping ot Carriages, Wagons and Bugg e- Pa.m.ng aud Trimtn iu
done on short notice.
iKINDS OF FURNITURE REPAIRED ASGOOD AS NEW
Mid be remetnberd that My establishment is
have now band? the largest and best stock of waggons, °f 0,V B
on that 1 lu\e
•flgies homemade auct of western build evil
.
ht bjrgaius you had better call. All wlr> owe me or w o
foest to come forward and settle promptly promptly. will 1 be net, given i ^.hort
tveit. These who do not pay
So you will please settle promptly.
DQUARTERS UNDERTAKERS GOODS.
FFDis and CASKETS of all trades aud sizes, and COF FIN HARD vV ARE
prytliing tba is kept in a first class Undertaker. j
brFtvr “ til DELI\ t r-corn LuLl Ai. \ 11 v TV CITL OK COUNTY.
r
hkiag for their liberal patronage in the past, I ioli#l
pee my customers very satisfaction. |
of the same, with theevervituig wil be done to give
Most Restiectful r , LANGFORD.
J. w. !
.1 combination Iron Peruvian of Pro¬ |
toxide of Phosphorusxn ,
Bark and For
a palatable form* I
j
powers it is itkdispensa
[“-“r-UBS ble. TOWNER,
Writes:— PURIFIES REV. J. L. (
industry, ni.,sa S :- arit
J, TH£ fs, '
4 1 have been m ost excellent remedy lor
j
the debiUtated yit-u forces.
!
LT^mmead L.Wtve tfbreperties. ^ois remedial neees- and nn- it / V.
tf e -- Ol.J, ]^i.
Cougcra 111cchin
SUBSCRIPTION $1.25.
Volume VI.
"INDEPENDENT IN ALL THINGS.”
CONYERS, GEORGIA, APRIL 27, 1883.
many strangers, and unusual life animated
the toivn, along the streets and promenades
of which strolled countless elegant Parisan
idlers and charming ladies dressed in the
latest fa-hion.
Charles soon chos,e a favorite point on
the terrace, and with the aid of his assistant
the two views were successfully transferred
to his portfolio. When his work was accom¬
plished the young man carefully packed his
apparatus, and, followed by his servant pro
tevi., stroked slowly toward a modest inniu
the town where he intended to dine. His
way led him past the handsome Hotel du
Pavilion Henry IV, widely celebrated for
its magnificent situation
As he approached the house, it suddenly
entered would the head of the photographer that it J
not be * bad idea t0 add a view of tba I
popular hotel to his collection, as the pic
(ure would probably be bought by many
strangers who had lived there.
He beckoned to bis follower, and stopped
in the open space in front of the house,
which was at that time empty, it being the ;
dinner hour huhe hotel. In a few mom-nts
he had choosen the best position for his
apparatus and placed everything in readri
ness. As he was oti the point of beginning
he was interrupted by a guest at the hotel' j
evidently returning from a promenade on
the terrace, who approaching, stopped be
side the apparatus, which he seemed to re
gard with much interest, He was a little
old gentleman with suow-white hair, who
appeared but little oppressed by the weight
of years, for a youthful fire beamed in the
friend y eyes shinning through gold-moun
ted eye-glasses, and his movements showed
an almost mercurial activity. The expres
sion of his face was strikingly intelligent,
“Aha !’’ he remarked ; “the hotel is to be
photographed, it seems. An excellent
idea,”
“Do yon think so, sir?’ responded
Charles, smiling. ‘I hope that the idea will
be iO my advantage; that may guests
stopping here will buy copies in remem
brauce of the place.”
“A capital speculation, which certainly
must have good results,” said the old man,
with an approving nod, “Do you belong tc
this place?”
“No, sir; I live in Paris. I have taken
a series o! twenty four views of St. Germain,
and as 1 am here with an hour to spare, I
am adding a photograph of the hotel. It is
only an idea which struck me as 1 was
passing.
“The notion is good The only fault I
find is that there will be nobody to be seen
in the picture, which will giye it rather a
lifeless effi ct. „
“I quite agree with you, sir; but much to
my regret there is no one at hand. It would
be impossible to p'ace my. shabby assistant
there on the balcony.
No , the man is no doubt a very good
fellow in his way, and it a farmyard were
to be photographed, he would do beautifully!
but bere he is not exacly suitable. There
are two charming English ladies in the hotel;
perhaps you could induce them to stand for
you” ‘I afraid
am n would cause somewhat of
acommotion.fi were to enter the hotel
aud prefer such a request.”
“Very well; if you don’t like doing it, I
will ask for you.”
.
“You are very kind, sir; but I will not
give, such trouble. As you are good
enough to be interteresd in my picture,
would it be too much to ask you to staud
for a moment on the veranda ?”
“With pleasure-I will do anything to
help you ; but remember that I am an old
man. My presence in the picture would be
no attraction for fair young purchasers."
“lam convinced to tbe contrary, sir.
Such a dignified rid gentleman would
certainly.be an ornament to my Tavor picture.
Your kindness would be a great to
me.”
“Very well, I am at your disposal," and
the old gentleman mounting the steps,
placed himself behind the iron railing of
the varanda, his right hand tear itrg on his
cane, his left placed on the railing, while,
with a friendly, benevolent expression, he
looked down on the photographer.
“Charles’ head immediately vanished
under the cloth eurtaining the apparatus.
“The head a little more to the left; if you
please. There—that is right! Now keep
the position for a few seconds. One, two,
thiee, four, five,’’-and the operation was
a complete success.
At that moment two elegantly dressed
ladies appeared upon the balcony and spoke
a few words to the old gentleman, who
bowed pleasantly to the photographer, after
which all three disappeared into the hotel,
“Strange I" thought Chafes. "The old
man’s face seemed familiar; yet I don’t
remember that I have erer seen him before,
With the assistance of his companion the
apparatus was packed again; and the
photographer went on to the inn, where he
dined, returning immediately afterwards to
Paris.
j During the next three days Charles was
j busily Germain, occupied and with scarcely the n»gatives left his taken studio- at
j At the end of that time he set out early in
the morning with a complete series of the
j pictures in a tasteful .leather portfolio. He
j turned his steps toward the neighboring
1 Boulevard Beaumarchais, in which was the
establishment of a well known dealer in
works of art with whom he had already
so me acquaintance. To him he intended
offering the views of St Germain. As he
went through the Rue St. Antoine and the
Place dela Bastille, he wondered somewhat
at the groups of men gathere ‘<vet e
about every corner and in many of the shop
MOTHER’S BOYS.
Yes, I know there are status on my carpet,
The traces of small muddy boots ;
And I see your fair tapestry glowing,
All spotless with blossoms and fruit.
And I know that my walls are disfigured
With prints of small fingers and hands,
And that your own household most truly
In immaculate purity stands.
And I know that my parlor is littered
With many old treasures and toys ;
While your own is in daiutest order,
Uuharmed by the presence of boys.
And I kuow that my room is invaded
tiuite boldly all hours of the day ;
Wbile you sit iu yours unmolested
And dream the soit quiet away !
Yes, I know there are four little bedsides
1 must stand watchful each instil; ;
And n’mblu youTdrws^ao bright*.*’
Now, 1 think I’m a neat little woman; j
I like my house orderly, too;
And I’m fond of all dainty belongings,
Vet would not exchange places with you.
No! keep your fair home with its Older,
Its freedom from bother and noise;
And keep your owa fanciful leisure—
But give me my four splendid boys.
THE LAST PHOTOGRAPH.
by m. u. B.
High up in a lofty house in one of the |
suburbs of Paris live! a young photographer
and his wife. A life of such careless hap
piness is rarely found out of the attics ol
that gay city, where content and cheerful
ness are more apt to reign than in the most
spacious mansions.
A true Parisian was Louison, the young
wife, who understood so well how to hide
the poverty of the smaT attic dwelling by a
hundred graceful little devices. The rooms
were hardly larger than closets, but the
modest furniture was clean and fresh, ai d
grouped with charming effect, and tbe
freshly painted walls were decorated with
cheaply framed photographs, ornamental,
as well as testimonials of the skill of the
master of the establishment. In the small
windows with snow white curtains stood j
pots of roses, geraniums and pinks, and ;
from a tiny balcony hung a cage where a
bright canary sang his joyful song. The
only room with any pretensions to size was
a fight, airy one opening from the sittiug
room, and which was used as the work room
of the master
Charles was a ’andscape photographer of
unusual skill. He photographed public
buildings also, but rarely tried his band a !
portraits, not having means to compete with
owners of tbe large, expensively furnish
studios of the aristocratic quarter of the
while he felt himself above the cheaper
of photographers who furnish miser
executed portraits.
He had lived in the capital only a year'
which he had learned to know, and
married his beloved Lousion, who
not possessed of a sou, owned such
of cheerfulness, amiability, and
that Charles was more
satisfied. The young man could well
that the future held better things in
for him for his unusual skill must in
win the’place it deserved; and already
talent was recognized by more than one
the artists of the day. Many of the best
of Parisian buildings seen and
in the plate glass windows of tbe
came from his humble studio;
landscapes aud views of castles, church’
convents etc e’ngaged in the neighborhood At
be was on a series of views
St Germain, and had already com
twenty two out of the two dozen he
ended to prepare.
It was the Gist of August, 1877, The day
to be bright and clear, and early
the morning Charles made ready the
portable apparatus he carried on such
for the last excursion to St.
to finish the two photographs
to complete the desired number,
Kissing Louison, he was very soon in his
in the omnibus going from the Place
la Bastille to the railway station for St.
in the Rue St Lazare, after which
hour’s journey past the charming sub
of Ansuieres, Nanterre. and Malraai
brought him at ten o’clock to his des- ’
Springing from the railway:
Charles beckoned to a man sand- j
on the platform, and forthe sum of three :
engaged his services for the day to
his apparatus and assist him in any
he might be required.
St. Germain, with its fourteen thousand
is a very quiet town, living like
faded bauty on tbe recollection of past
but, owing to its bigh, healthy
and its beautiful forests, it is a
resort of the pleasure seeker. The
castle, finished in the reign of Francis
^ ; a r ; t h in historical remembrances. It
the birth place of Henry II., Charles
and LcuisXlV., and eoutaina the room
where died James II. of England, the
baniobed Stuart, who received the hospital
0 " Louis XIV., until his death in 1T01
In the large court of the castle was fought,
on the 10th of July, 1547. the last
duel before the court. In tlie year l?s79 tbe
castle was used as barracks, and later as a
military prison, for which purpose it was
utilized until Napoleon III. restored it and
established there the interesting Gallo
Roman r-nsautn.
To the east stretches, seven thousand feet
omt the terrace ot world-wide celebrity
a favorite promena-ie, with a view over a
landscape lovely beyond description with
castles and villas, gardens and fountains^
hills aud valleys. Behind the terrace and
the palace garden is the beautnul .Orest of
Something of importance must have takan
place to cause this intense excitement
among the easily moved Parisians. News
hoys ran swiftly through the streets crying
in hoarse voices, “Latest From St. Ger
main 1” What could it be ?
The young man stopped before a group
surrounddiug the newspaper column on the
Place dela Bastille, eagerly scanning a
painted paper which had j ist been posted
there. Charles could not approach near
enough to read the placard.
"What has happened ? he asked a broad
shouldered workman in a blue blouse, who
had succeeded in getting near enouge
read.
“Monsieur Thiers ir dead ! said the man.
impressively. “He died yesterday evening.
u is a terriable loss for our party, particu
lariy as it comes just J now before the elec
tiou. Ha was the man upon whom ih
eyes of the wise and gc od in France were
turned. I am only a plain workman, sir,
and don’t protest to understand much of
politics, but we have always trusted to
Monsieur Thiers'wisdom. He knew what
was best for ns and the whole land. Now
be is dead, and there is nobody to take his
place.”
Thai was the starting news of the day
which the electric wire wa* fiasihng through
the world—an event of such great, inealcu
i a p>le importance that for the moment even
,b e Russo-Turkish war and a thousand
others interests of the day sank into com
parative insignificance. The octogenarain
had closed his eyes forever, after playing for
jjfty years such a brilliant role in the poli
ti cs 0 ( France and Europe, occupying but
a j ew years before the highest public office
fo France.
Charles had uever busied himself much
with politics, but he knew well that this event
would be for France a grave crisis, natualJy
affecting trade and business of everykind
Occupied with such thoughts he entered
the establishment of the art dealer, and in
a f ew wordg explained the object of bis
v ; s ; t
-- A h, my dear g i r% ” sa ; d t h e dealer with a
flba ]j e 0 f tbe head, “this i B a bad time for
business. Universal suspense and uncer¬
tainty reign; no one knows what the next
hour will bring forth. Reports of a coupe
$ fMi are ; n the air; al tbe Bourse there is
a panic; rents are falling; business people
in tbe w i[ dsgt confusion. Tiber's death
affects everything. But show me what yon
bring to day. A series of views of St Ger
ma \ n -/ I have no doubt of tbeii excellence,
Thiers died at St. Germain; that might
perbap8 awa ken some interest for the pici
urcs. Have you chanced to take a view of
the home where he died—the Hotel du
Pavilion Henri IV?”
„ Yeg ,, answeledcharles in ae t 0 „ishraent;
“by chance I took such a picture. Aud
Thiers died there? Good heavens could he
have been tbe old gentleman whom I p'-o
t„g ra phed? His face seemed familiar to me
_ per haps because I saw so many pictures
0 f him when he was president;” and he
related in a few words his meeting with the
,j gentleman at the hote l.
Show the picture, „ cried ‘he deale
me
his eye* sparkling with excitement, this
more lmportaut than ff° u ,hiuk!
The young man took the photograph fiom
the case and handed it to the dealer, who
looked attentively at the small figure in the
picture, represented with wonderful cleat
ness and accuracy.
“Yea, that is Thiers to the life!” he
exclaimed in delight. “An excellent like
neSh! Wben dld J ou take ,h " fo ctur ”'
On the thirty-first of August
’'Only four days ago! Then is the
last picture of the great s’atesman and
patriot, for whom all France mourns to-day!
portrait is a precione rememorance,
winch will circulate through trance in
thousands of copies. Our country s loss is
for you a stroke of fortune, my friend. You
have the copyright of this picture, and it
will be worth to you over a hundred thous
and francs. The figure of Thiers, with a
portion of the balcony, should be cut from
the picture and enlarged. You can make
three sizes for one two and three francs
each. In four weeks we can sell half a
nnlHon copies. At present, in all trance
here is no better article of merchandise.
L>o you realize this?’
Charles comprehended now tbe great
P r ' ze which fortune had thrown in hi- way,
and grew almost dizzy as he thought of the
unhoped for riches probably in store for
b ' ra -
“But I cannot possibly print so quickly
such an enormous number of copies!
exclaimed. “My studio is far too small,
“Y iu are right, replied the dealer. Ihe
largest photographer iu Paris must under
'ake it, working day and night. 1 wi'i
! ’manage ttie sale if you agree. We have no
!|r,l e to loose.
Ball au hour later a contract was made
w lb tbe proprietor of a large studio in the
j neighborhood, who agreed to lay all fos
other work aside and devote his energies
entirely to theportrait of I fliers. The next
da F fever F prominent newspaper in Paris
t0 ‘ ot ,be Iast photograph of T hierg, taken
at 3t - Germain four days before his death,
a ' J d tbe result exceeded all expectations
All the admirers of the departed statesman
hastened to become possessed ot tn« lai-t
remembrance of the old man they so revt-r
ed. There weie more than half a million
sold, and Charles received for h.s share ot
tile profit one bunere an £tr,8 “D' ‘ e
^ P ’ £ proved
>jition f aH por , uait y r or exercutug h l3
C. W. WHITE, Publisher.
Number 6.
his beloved Louisou into the luxurious suite
of rooms on the first floor, wheie Louison
sbed about her the atmosphere ot light and
cheerfulness which followed her from the
attic, in spite of the added cures and respon
; sibilities which came upon .her and her
husband,
First among all the comforts and luxuries
of their new home is prized and honored a
picture hanging in the salon of the happy
pair—an exquisite copy, in a costly frame,
and surrounded by a laurel wreath, of the
last portrait of Adolphe Thiers,
*•-.
Faithful in Little.
“It belongs to humau nature to hate the
man whom you have injured,” says Taci¬
tus. Akin to the principle underlying this
act in humau nature, may there not be
traced another fact formulated thus : “The
work which we but half performed we always
hate?” If so, perhaps the secret of our
distaste to certain horne’y domestic duties
standing like spectres betweeu us and our
happiness, may be found in the half hearted
manner in which we perforin them. Certain
it is, that there is an immense satisfaction
to be derived from the thorough perform¬
ance of even disagreeable duties. It tlatters
our self esteem, and puts us on good terms
with ourselves; and when we can mentally
pat ourselves on the shoulder, and exclaim
“You are a pretty good soul, after all,” we
are all on the highway towards happiness.
This thought is suggested by meeting a
radiaut little woman, whom we verily kuow
despises the whole routine of housekeep¬
ing, lrom Alpha to Omega, from the broil¬
er in the kitchen to the dusting of the parlor
This lady now exultingly declares, now that
adverse fate has cornered her up to the
work, “I really enjoy it. I’d no idea there
could be so much pleasure iu it.” Said a
friend to this little lady the other day, “How
is it, Lucia, that you always like the thing
you are doiug the be-t of anything else ?”
“Oh,” said she, “I don't know, unless, it's
because I always do the thing I am at with
all my might.’’ And truly that is just the
whole secret of it. Half-hearted work
brings with it its own reward, loss of self
respict, and a dreary sense of dissatisfac¬
tion.
In our civilization, the average woman is
a housekeeptr, will she or no; by her own
hands or, which is about as difficult, usually,
by that happy device of Satan, the “hired
gh-1.” Now, the only way out of this do¬
mestic bog to the sunny slopes of satisfac¬
tion—to say nothing of the gardens of
Paradibe—beyond lies right through the
faithful performance, even down to thu
minutest detail, of these domestic duties.
They cannot be shirked, shunned or put
aside, and happy is that household whose
priesle BB soonest recognizes this truth, and
trims her sails for her only harbor of ref
uge.
Tilings Learned By Experience,
A ..... 1,l tle put into meat
grnger sausage
. tie flavor. In cake d’p t
'"“Piojes icing .e
kwf * gently -to cod wafor. In boiling
meals for soups use cold water to ext.ac
tbe juice. If the meat is wanted for itself
alone , plunge in boiljng water at once
Broil slake wi; bout salting; salt draws the
juices in cooking; it is desirable to keep
these in if possible; cook over a hot fire,
turning frequently, searing on both sides;
p ] ace on a platter, salt and pepper to taste,
Beef having a tendency to be lough can be
made very palatable by stewing gently for
two hours, pepper and salt, taking out
aboul a ol ht f a ' d when done ’ “” d ltttl f
thereat boil into the meat. Brown the
meat in the pot. After taking up make a
gravy of the pint of liquid saved. A small
piece of charcoal m the pot with boiling
havehadIm.Rshou the «g d a ^J ®
water. A spoonful of stewedI tomatoes
the gravy of either roasted or fried meat. .3
an improvement. I he skin o a >oi i
is the mosl*effacious remedy that can
applied to a boil. Peel it can fully, wet
and apply to the place affected. It will
draw off the matter and relieve the soreness
i m a few hours. .
i ^____ .
Bots Will Be Boys.
_
An exchange says a boy wil[ tramp two
hundred and fifty miles in one day on a
ra hhit hunt and be limber iu the evening;
wh(iIli ; f you agk him t0 crog8 , he gtrefct and
borrow Jon( , g tw0 inch augur . he will be as
gli agff a raeat block. To be sure he -ill.
And he will go swimming all day and slay
- n ^ water ||| iee hours at a time, and
gplagh and dive, ai d paddle and puff and
j next morning; he will feel that an unreal
, ired insult has been offered him when he i«
(£) ,j by b j g mot h er to wat-h his face. And
j he’ll wander around a dry creek had a'l tbe
( , vf . n ; ng piling up a pebble fort, and uearlj
dieoff when bis big sbter wants him to
p i eage p ; c k up a basket of chips for tbe
par j or B p JVo . And he’ll spend the biggest
| [jart 0 f t he time in trying to corner a stray
j mu | e or a hare backed horse for a ride,land
, ( . e j t(lat a |i life’s charms have fled when it
c )meg his turn to drive the cows home. ^ nd
. h( _. 1( lurn ft ten aere j ot ups i de down for
t@n aeg 0 f ang ) e worm », and wish for the
VQ \ e( .) t .tomb when the garden demands
attenhon. But all the same, when you
want a friend who will stand by you, and
g y mpatfa:)! 3 w | t h you, aud be true to you in
a „ k „ dg of weat her, enlist one of these
boyg
i LVVheL T . tie *,,^7 n V~iltt rUv
fog. p0 kitchen fire needs
Even then it is liable to prove a
losing game unless he had previously pro
vided the proper amount ol chip-.—JL Y.
W&i ®0tt|WS U«Mg.
CITY AND COUNTY ORGAN,
THE LARGEST CIRCULATION,
FINEST ADVERTISING MEDIUM.
Advertising Rntea.
One column, oneyear.,.,^^,,,,,,,,,.,, •
One column, six mnnth,L --r---n- ..... . ss
One column, three mnnt.h«------- Mll
_
E^nM advertisement*, 10 cents a 11 m
Special Rates to General Advertisers.
ALL SORTS.
Spring goods: Rat traps.—Boston Star.
The first roes of spring—the shad's.—N.
Y, Advertiser.
A bilious individual—The collector,
—Somerville Journal.
The American press—the corset.—Bur¬
lington Free Press,
A Green Bay horse is no uncommon
thing in Wisconsin. —Lowell Courier
“No library is comple'e without it”—the
feathur duster,—New York News,
A sound suggestion—Never turn a deaf
ear to the telephone,—N. Y. Advertiser.
Baseball is always seasonable with a
country church choir.—New York Adver ¬
tiser.
Smithers says there is just “no” differ¬
ence between right and wrong,—Boston
Star.
The prospetily of the book agent proves
that, falsehood is mighty aud will prevail.
—Puck.
A Mormon with a plurality of lean wives,
speaks of them as his “spare ribs”—Boston
Star.
“I never was better in my life,” as tbe
man said wheu -asked to take a wager.
—Boston Transcript.
A Texas horse thief knows what it means
when he is serenaded by a string baud.
—New Orleans Picayune.
When are two tramps like common tim«
in music ? When they are two beats at a
bar.—Baltimore Every Saturday.
The watch that fell out of a drunken
man’s pocket and smashed on the pavement
was off its guard.—New York News,
"Board wanted’’—as the young lady said
when she came to a mud puddle iu the
sidewalk,—Burlington Free Press.
Marriage is a lottery, but, we have not
heard that love letters are denied the privi¬
lege of the mails.—Bostou Transcript,
The poetB have always sung of the charms
of country life; but who ever heard of can¬
ning mosquitoes for city use ?—Puck.
What did ihe Queen of England put ou
her knee when she hurt it?—Edith. Why,
court plaster, of course—Philadelphia News.
Old Crusty lays the new gable roof poke
bonnet should be called the gabble roof, the
ladies talk so much about them.—Boston
Star.
A man needn’t flatter himself that he is
working like a beaver simply because he
throws in a lot of unnecessary danins.
—Boston Transcript.
A boy in Vermont swa'iowed a handful
of birdshot to cure boils. The boy died,
but the effect of the dose on the boils is not
stated—Philadelphia Press,
Seven millions of rabbits have been killed
in one year in Australia, an 1 these are
hardly missed. With an Australian it's
only his dead hares that are numbered.
Young grandson, presenting his cigar
case to his grandfather: “No, my lad, I
don’t smoke.” Q lite right at your age it
is objectionable.”—French Joke.
Is it said that old Father time is bald
headed so that he can’t be tasen by the
forelock. He is the fellow who scythes lor
more worlds to conquer.—Harlem Times.
“ 13 a c ™ e *> be a womau 7 aska Mrs ’
Blake. Not we think, not if she sincenly re¬
pent8 , ae k:i to be forgiven, and promises not
| to be so ftgam.—N. Y. Graphic,
The difference between a rope-walker and
a book keeper is that a rope-walker makes a
trial balance before he begins business, and
book . k 1 afterward s._The Drum
,
trier.
An exchange prints a two-column story
headed “The Mystery ol an Inn. We had
supposed that all the hash jokes were con
H idered off long ago.-Boston Transcript.
A ma!1 weDt ; ut0 a drU j, 8t0 re tbe other
day to buy some medicine. “Do you keep
the best drugs ?’ “You can’t get better,
; ; i’ “Too bad, use of medicine, then,
g r no
: d-day.”—Gas.
k00 "
, “A fellow must sow his w,id oats you
| kr ' ow ." exc,a,:neU tbe °J d adolescent J ? h ^
‘Yes, ’ replied Ann.e, out one shouldnt
beK ' n sowm ' s ° b0on ater crai “ n 8
— Hartwell Ga Sun.
Why is a man who is less careful of his
i dregs at h 0 me than in the street tike a man
0 r family who take 3 his meals at a reitau
raat j Because he’s neater out.—San
p rAnc ; eco News-L tter.
j Few lawyers, says an English writer, have
ever been mvesfed with the Order of the
Garter. This shows that that kind o a
garter was not intended for limbs of the
law. Boston Globe.
.
j , B r00 h s Carnthers is coming direct
: t o San Francisco with her six unmarried
(Jau Ltc . M . ' i s ; t possible we’ve got to drop
er t y D and ta ke to the woods again ?
—San Fra a cisco Post,
| “I was drunk when I married her,
pleaded the defendant to the court. “Most
men are who marry pretty wives,” returned
the judge. "Beauty is always mtoxica
—Brooklyn Eagle.
Blobson says he does wish the ladies
would give up the.r fondness for long trains
in society, and run au accommodation train
once in a while—an inch above the Hoot
A ..
