gjwgcrji
UsCRIPTION PRICES. *1 25
.......
......-..... •■••••••a* 1 * 4 *"" 1 75
•
jtb®-..... .......... 40
Ati«» constitution, 1 yr.. 2 00
^juiarn jrrBt m IT!AT ST
i! l?E } SALE* WHITE, Editors.
for Sample Copy Free
I W. WEAVER & BRO.
Convert Gci.
__DEALERS IN aLL KINDS OF
Dry goods & Notions
-m
n thin 0 '. Hats, Caps, Hoofs & Shoe? also Groceries such as Sugar,
** Tea, Syrup, nice, Grits Meal, Oat Meal,Tobacco, Snuff ete.
We call especial attention to our line of
fjCY GROCER’ES & CONFECTIGNERl’S
! I, ag canned tomatoes, peaches, pineapples, oysters, salmon, Mack
gar ,hues, condensed mi.k, jelly, pickles, baking candy both fancy Hors- and
I DlllS) raisins, citron, macaroni, one spoon powders,
l’g broad preparation, etc., etc. Our pepper and spiees both ground
and grain are the very best in the market.
if* ms» A TMEALs
■ also keep a good variety of Fresh Crackers, both plain and sweet, 1
0 the celebrated, Lustro Shoe and Stove Polish. A good line of
Table and Pocket cutlery, Crockery, Glass and Woodware, etc !
WE MAKE FINE CIGARS A SPECIALTY.-®*
mi mono-. Short Profits and quick Sales- Terms -Strictly
,H- &. IF- WEAVER & BRO.
I M- Jones & Company
rner Commerce and Warehouse Sts- COTJYEBS. GA.
_HEADQUARTERS FOR ALL KINDS OF
General Merchandise at Bottom PrieeS.
L lt * for the NEW HOME Sewing Machine. J86rWe keep all kinds of
; J6®“SEWING MACHINE NEEDLES.“issJt
^quarters For all School Books adopted by the Board
of School Commissioners efthis county.
MORE POPULAR TRAN EVER.
The Recent Improvements Made iu The
j
[ ADD MUCH TO THE
[Y EXCELLENT QUAL
ofthis
jerior Machine. - ^ =£5
an Espeial Favorite of Ladies, 'A- ■"> iSi
je Tail os and Others,
them for the many advantages *
less over oiher Sewing Machines.
5RY WHITE MACHINE
f YVarrented for 5 F. years. SMITH.
J. I). <£• 7
Wholesale and Retail Dealers, MKmm I
Ivoad St., Atlanta Georgia.
ID. M* ALMAND, Agents, Georgia.
ConyerB,
larriap ' .
f W JLtANGFOBB e> <
riages, Wagons, Bugies, MV
own make.
IARRANTED TO BE FIRSUCLASS IN EVERY PARTICULAR.
ep also a GOOD LINE of Western Carriages and Bug¬
gies which I sell LOW DOWN
hiring of Carriages, Wigous and Bugg es Pa.n..ng and Trimmin
,
trades done on short notice,
L KINDS OF FURNITURE REPAIRED ASGOOD AS NEW
should be rememberd that My establishment is
have now on hand the largest and best stock of waggons, of '' 1 ? 0 \ 11
bogies homemade ana of western baild that I have evei cartie • J
int bargains had better call. All wh 1 owe me lor wot ar ®^ r
y ou I need the .
request to come forward and settle promptly promptly. will be moiitj u * ,1 “'
ave it. These who do not pay given
So you will please settle promptly.
jDQUARTERS UNDERTAKERS GOODS.
Iffins and CASKETS of all grades and sizes, and COFFIN HARD A ARE
Everything tha is kept in a first class Undertaker.
10FFIN3 ’DELIVERED ANYWHERE IN CITY OR COUNTY
. w^heevLv.ttTil r fnc P r givTsati,faction. ’ iniui
6 he d to
Most Respectful'^, LANGFORD.
J. Vtf.
vmffis Me. sss&sagrgs EEV.J.L.TOWNEB,
atme- pS& that X have "oeen /FURIflES 7 VAT r Industry, excellent Ill., ‘ k I says:— remedy consider for it
W. benefited by- its a most vital forces.
Mmisters A , the debilitated
will and Pub
°p&n find it MM
a ^s e . W
teef**?*®*®* Rfu^ tntl ' /e mu- and
E£ve C:“- *»* Properties. oa. 2 1882
4 , .
®!)t ^C0«gcr0 Wuk l
SUBSCRIPTION $1.25.
Volume VI.
"INDEPENDENT IN ALL THINGS-”
CONYERS, GEORGIA, JUNE 1, 1883.
A QUEER STORY.
Dr. Hulme obtained the appointment of
medical officer to the Graniwiteh Union
solely and entirely because of a dastardly
attempt on the part of some one to preju¬
dice his chances by means of annoynmous
letters addressed to the guardians. Up to
the last moment the result of the election
seemed a foregone conclusion ; for his
opponent, Dr. Burney, though a young
practitioner, was extremely popular, and
every one expected he would win easily.
Dr. Hulme, on the other hand, had only
recently settled in the town, and, besides
being very little known, was regarded with
a certain amouut of suspicion owing to a
general impression that there was some
mystery connected with his antecedents.
But the tide of popular sympathy turned
strongly in his favor when it transpired
that at a critical moment he had been the
subject ol a base and cowardly attack. He
not only denied the-calumnious statement
contained in the letters, but frankly ex¬
plained the cause of his leaving his former
practice. The facts which he disclosed
were not, perhaps, calculated to enhance
his professional reputation, but they were
certainly Ibbs damaging than the allega
tions made by the annoymous eorrespon
dent. In their calmer moments the guar¬
dians would, no doubt have hesitated to
nominate a gentleman whose antecedents
would not hear the strictest investigation;
but they were so carried away by virtuous
indignation, they rather incontinently
elected Dr. Hulme to the post, as a sort of
protest against the conduct of his traduccrs
Young Dr. Burney felt rather relieved
than otherwise at losing the appointment
under the circumstances. Hud he been
elected, Dr. Hulme’s supporters might have
uttered disagreeable insinuations, and the
conciousness of entire innocence rendered
him indifferent to the fact that his njection
by the guardians might be construed as an
imputation, He was a simple minded,
straightforward young fellow, and it never
occured to him to suspect that his honest
disclaimer had not been accepted as frankly
as it was made. His eyes were first opened
to the existence of a hostile feeling against
him bj’ the demeanor of his rival, when he
stopped him in the street to congratulate
him on his success. Dr. Hulme was a grave,
middle aged man, with regulsr features,
weiltrimmed whiskers, and a simi-clerical
aspect. His ordinary manner was blandly
polite, but he responded to Dr. Burney s
congratulations in a very cold tone, and
made an excuse to hurry off without shaking
hands with him. Dr. Burney was utterly
taken a back, and the reason of Dr. Hulme’s
coldness burlt upon the him like a revela
tion. He began to make inquiries in the
town, and soon ascertained that in certain
quarters be was credited with the author¬
ship—or, at least, with a guilty knowledge
—of the anonymous letters. .
He would have done well, perhaps, to
have waited and learned to what extent this
scandal was prevalent before taking any
steps, for the truth was that no one of con¬
sequence really believed in it, so that he
could easily have lived it down. But he
was hot-tempered and impetuous, and feel
ingparticularlyin dignant at the ungenerous
behavior of Dr. Hulme, he could not resist
calling upon him to demand an explana
tion. By ill-luck he happened to interrupt
a conversation between Dr. Hulme and a
certain fussy little tradesman named Blake,
who was one of the Board of Guardians, and
whose resentment he had already managed
to incur.
“My dear sir," replied Dr. Hulme, in re¬
sponse to a rati er hotly-worded challenge
from the young man, “I would very much
prefer to say nothing whatever about the
matter. I entertain no hostile feelings,
whoever the writer may be. Please under¬
stand, I don’t accuse you, and I don't ac¬
cuse any one. My attitude is entirely neu¬
tral, and I intend to maintain that attitude,
as I was explaining to Mr. Blake just now."
“What the deuce has Mr Blake got to do
with it?” cried young Burney, turning
fiercely on the little man.
“Come, Dr. Burney, that’s a good un,
considering that I’m a guardian, returned
Mr. Blake, firing up. “I consider that Dr
Hulme’s duty to society is to discover the
writer and bring him to justice. I was tell¬
ing him so just as you came in."
“Well, let him," retorted Dr. Burney,
angrily. “I am ready to do anything I can
to assist him.”
“i n that ease there oughtn’t be to much
d ;g; cu ity. Eh. Doctor?” observed Mr. Blake,
with a mischievous glance at Dr. Hulme.
“Confound you, sir! What do you mean
by that?” cried the younger man
“If you can't guess what I mean, it would
be hopeless to attempt to explain. Dr. Bur
ney,” said Mr. Blake with fine irony.
Fortunately for Mr. Blake, a servant came
into the room at that moment, and pa^seu
between him and the young doctor, whose
had reached a boiling Bat for
this timely interruption, the juard an
most assuredly have measured his length
upon Dr. Hulme a new carpet. As it was,
.tern.•“*.!»*•'•
man
the , table. ,,
“Mr. Blake,” said the young man, eon
trofing himself with an effort, and speaking
with forced calmness as the servant we "‘
out, “I will not condescend to argue with
you for slander afterwards.
“Very well! It's a challenge, thet>, cried
Mr. Blake, furious at the other’s contemptu¬
ous tone.
“Nonsense! nonsense! For goodness’ sake,
let there he an eDd to this!” interposed Dr.
Hulme, mildly.
“Call it what you please,” cried Dr. Bur¬
ney, answering Mr. Blake and ignoring Dr.
Hulme’s pacific intention,“as sure as you’re
standing there you shall repent of your in¬
fernal insolence.”
With these angry words Dr. Burney seized
his hat and hurried out of the house, hardly
daring to trust himself to remain within
reach of the Guardian’s insignificant person.
But when a man loses his temper, he never
fails to feel vexed and humiliated after¬
wards. Dr. Burney did, for he soon realized
that in his position, with a wife and family
dependent upon him, he could not afford to
indu'ge in the luxury of thrashing a Guar
dian, while he had no money to spend in
law expenses. He therefore hoped that
Mr. Blake would, upon reflection, take Dr.
Hulme’s advice, and let the matter drop, but
he soon found that he had reckoned without
his host. Mr. Blake was a mischievous,
vindictive little man, and having been very
much aggrieved by Dr. Burney’s treatment
of him, he could not resist the temptation
of causing him annoyance. He was unfor¬
tunately sufficiently well off not to be fright
enert by the prospect of litigation, and he
therefore deliberately set to work to drive
the young man to desperation. At first his
proceedings were marked by a certain de¬
gree of caution, for he had not forgotten the
retreat of personal chastisement. But find¬
ing Dr. Burney had apparently relinquished
that part of the programme, he became
bolder, and talked so Irtely of his suspicion
regarding the authorship of the letters, that
people began to shake their heads and to
hint that perhaps there was really some truth
in the suggestion.
It was in vain that Dr. Burney endeavor
ed to ignore the scandal, and to treat Mr.
Blake’s insinuations with contempt. He
bore it as long as he could, chiefly because
his wife besought him to avoid inourriug
expenses which they could not afford. But
his patience at length gave way, and even
the most cautious of his friends agreed that
he was bound to take some decisive step for
the sake of his professional reputation. He
therefore called upon Mr. Richardson, the
leading lawyer of the town, and instructed
him to commence an action immediately
against Mr. Blake, and to fight the matter
to the bitter end.
His first interview with the lawyer was
by no means calculated to soothe his rutiled
spirits. Mr. Richardson was a shrewd,
clear-headed old country practitioner, who
hunted two or three days a week in the sea¬
son. and moved in the best country society,
He had amassed a large fortune, and had
long ago reached that state of independence
which enabled him to treat his clients in
rather an offhiud way. Still, he was a
.
kind hearted old gentleman, and he listened
to Dr. Burney's recital with sympathetic
attention, but at ttie close he shook his head
ominously.
“It is an awkward caBe,” he remarked,
andcircumstanccs are more strongly agai nst
you than you seem to be aware of. Tc tell
you the truth, I was talking over the matter
with one of the Guardians only the other
day. Do you know that the hand-writing
of the letters, though disguised, bears a
stiong resemblance to yours ?”
“No, I have never seen one of them,” said
Dr. Burney, shortly.
Well, it is the case,” continued Mr. Rich¬
ardson. “Another coincidence is that all
the letters bear the London postmark You
went up to London a day or two before the
letters came ?”
“Certainly. The day before, in fact,’’
returned the young man, uneasily.
- “Quite so. The letters were posted in the
West end of town; some in Kensington, and
some in Bayswater,” added the lawyer look¬
ing at him keenly.
“I went to both of those places that day
to visit some relatives," said Dr. Burney,
with the readiness of innocence.
“Look at that, now. Lastly, there is the
fact that some of the letters—one or two of
them were written on note paper of a
peculiar kind, such as you use.
“So I’ve heard, but there is nothing sin
gular in that,” returned Dr. Barney, almost
fiercely. “I bought a job lot at the Civil
Service Stores in London—dark blue ribbed
-about a year ago. Any one could have
done the same.
“True, but it is a coincidence, for the
paper is certainly uncommon," said Mr.
Richardson, quietly. “Upon the whole,
therefore, and'eonsidering there was a direct
inducement for an unsctupulous man in
your position to blacken Dr Hulme's char
acter at the time, it is a very nasty case to
meet ...
“Good gracious! I’d no idea it was so
aerioagj „ exclaimed Dr. Burney, anxiously,
u[ ^ yQU do£ - t believe I 8m guilty, Mr.
JKchardson 7” he added, seeing the lawyer s
Bje(1 fixed upon him
j .
*?r™;r s*-*°“\T.
fcc. .1
! and I tbink, before incurring the expense
and , nsk . _ of . an action, . . ,t would i j be as ao we1 to
j shape our case a ut e. *°* 1 n ™
; a “^'oLwoumL •> worseoff than you K«
therefore, take a little
Burney, rising to take his leave in a very
dejected frame of mind. “I place myself
in your hands, but please don’t spare either
trouble.or expense, for my reputation is at
stake.”
Dr. Burney was naturally very much
upset by this interview. He had hitherto
shrunk from taking legal proceedings solely
on the ground of expense, without the
least notion that anything more than a
denial on oath would he required to estab¬
lish his innocence. He now perceived,
however, that the charge which had beeD
made aga’nst him was based upon evidence
which he could not disprove. He quite
realized that a jury might disbelieve his
oath in the face o. th6 extraordinary coin¬
cidences which Mr Richardson had pointed
o. t, and such a result would mean absolute
ruin Under these circu instances, it was
very little consolation to know that he was
entirely innocent, and the sense of utter
helplessness rendered the position the more
tantalizing. He chafed very much at the
delay suggested by Mr. Richardson, and
upon receiving a letter a day or two after¬
wards from the lawyer, requesting him to
call, he rushed round a, once, regardless of
the pouring rain, and burst into the old
gentleman’s private room unceremoniously.
“Dear me I What’s the matter ?” exclaim¬
ed Mr. Richardson, looking up as he enter
ed.
“I came in consequence cf your letter,”
said Mr, Burney.
“My letter said two o’clock,” returned Mr.
Richardson, rather curtly.
“u—I really beg your pardon,” said the
young man, plunging his hand into the
pocket of iris overcoat. “I have your letter
—hello t what is this ?” pulling out a black
and white check muffler or scarf, with a
puzzled expression. “By Jove 1 I forgot
all about it.”
“What is it ?" inquired the lawyer, ab¬
sently, while glancing over a letter he had
been writing.
“I've never worn this coat since I went
up to London, the other day,” said Dr.
Burney, “I had just got off an omnibus
when I discovered my change was short,
and in turning sharply round to speak to
the conductor, I collided with a gent eman
who had apparently been an inside passen¬
ger, and was making for the pavement
behind me. In the collision he dropped the
scarf, which I picked up ; but before I could
overtake him, he had jumped into a hansom
and driven off. I put the scarf iDto my
pocket and forgot it till this moment."
“May I look at it ?” said Mr. Richardson,
with sudden interest.
“It’s not worth twopence-halfpenny,”
replied r.D Burney with a laugh, as he laid
it on the desk. “Just my luck 1 Well, Mr.
Richardson, what about my case ?” he
inquired eagerly.
“Look here,” remarked the lawyer ab¬
ruptly, extending the scarf towards him, on
a corner of which was sewed a small piece
of tape.
“Why, it’s—it’s Hulme’s name !” exclaim
ed Dr. Barney, in surprise.
“Yes.” said the lawyer, rising rather
excitedly to his feet; “it’s the strangest
thing in the world. Do you know, when I
saw that ecarf in your hand, it reminded me
unaccountably of Hulme, and now I remem¬
ber he was wearing i —or a similar one—
when I met him one morning as I was
riding to the meet at Handley Cross."
"That was the day I went up to town,”
said Dr. Burney,
“Yes; and Hulme was driving into Salis
bury,” remarked Mr Richardson, his eyes
fixed absently on the other’s face. “The
train you traveled by started from Salisbury,
didn’t it ?”
“It came from there, certainly. I got in
at our own station,” replied Dr Burney..
“The reason I sent for you was to suggest
a theory which had occurred to me, and
which I now feel convinced is correct," said
Mr, Ricnardson. “1 should meDtion that I
have had the curiosity to endeavor to dis
cover what took Hulme to Salisbury that
day.”
“Why?" demanded Dr. Burney, open
mouthe( j
..j thonJ , ht the matter overi and j came
^ ^ conc i Qg ; 0 n that the curious compina
t ; on of circumstances which seem to impli
cate y 0U cou i(l not possibly be the result of
acc ident. In fact, from the first, I have
sua p ec ted a conspiracy.”
“On the part of Dr. Hulme?” said Dr.
Borney Btarting .
“Yes. I feel sure he wrote the letters
himself,” said the lawyer, quietly,
<*What 1 Do you think it possible a man
wou | ( } deliberately blacken his own charac
j er y” ejaculated Dr, Burney, aghast at this
atar ti n g theory.
“Look at the result, which he was no
doa bt shrewed enough to foresee,” said the
!awyer argamen tatively. “I believe it was
a c [ ever move on the part of a desperate and
nna cruDulous J scoundrel, to oust a rival and
eatab h himself in business. By means of
; ^ letterg he aroused the public sympathy,
obtained the appointment, and dealt a
. o“, ** __ n »>
T _
.... 1... m a. -*
fr“-*“
"No doubt; b. t ,h. ,c„f .biob ,o« »d
just now was not wortn twopence halfpenny
may be the nf nn*Ptfcimr all bis elab
ora e p an Rriehardson
,
pickL’p t how came you to
the scarf in London the day, when
the owner professes to have been in Salis-
C. W. WHITE, Publisher.
Number 11.
erate intention of fixing suspicion' upon
you I”
■'Good heavens! What an infernal
scoundrel,” tried,Dr. Burney, starting to
his feet. “Now you mention it, the person
I ran against might have been Hulme dis¬
guised. I only caught a glimpse of him
but I remember be wore blue spectacl s,
and was about his build. He seemed to
scuttle away, too; and though he must
have heard my shouts, he hurridly jumped
into a cab.”
“Supp’sa we call upon him, and try the
effect of a little bounce !” exclaimed the
lawyer, slapping his thigh. “We will ra
store his scarf, and see what he says. You
leave everything to me, and I will endeavor
to extract a confession from him.”
The suggestion exactly suited the young
doctot's impetuous temperament, aud half
an hour later they were ushered iu to Dr.
Hulme's consulting-room. The interview
was a stormy one, but the upshot was that
the same evening Dr. Hulme disappeared
from Grantwieh The next issue of the
local paper contained a full and abject
apology from Mr. Blake, unreservedly with¬
drawing his accusations, he had paid £100
to the Grantwieh lnfirmeary, those being
the terms upon which the doctor had con¬
sented 'o abandon ids action against him.
The appointment of medical officer to the
Union being again rendered vacant by Dr.
Hulme’s disappearance, was unanimously
eonfered upon Dr. Burney, who became the
object of much popular sympathy.—Lon¬
don Truth,
How He Tamed Her,
Sam Brown was a quiet man, who seldom
wasted words, but a determined fellow under
all his meek exterior. He married Beckie
Shaw, a notorious shrew, and people said
they’d separate in a month—that she’d
hetipeck Sam without mercy. They lived
on a farm, and everything went on smooth
for about a year, until it came to bog butch¬
erin’ time. Sam got all ready to have the
usual party for the occassion, and just as
he was sharpenin’ up the knives Beckie
came out. and said : “Sam, I’m goiu’ home.”
Sam protested in his quiet way, hut it was
no use, so he said he'd get a man to row
her across the pond. It was about half a
mile over. She said : "No, ye won’t;
ye’II row me over yourself 1” Sam told her
he couldn’t, and Beckie fired up and said :
“Then I’ll drown meself." Sam said he’d
go with her if she wanted to do that, so the
boat was got ready, she got in, and they
rowed out till the water was twenty feet
diep, Theti Sam stopped and said : “Weil,
Beckie, this is a good place for ye to drown
ycrself I” She didn’t open her mouth. He
waited a while and then said : “Come,
Beckie, I'm in a hurry to git back.” She
never looked up. Sam put down the oars,
caught hold of her and pitched her in. She
grabbed for the boat, but he wouldn't let
her get near it. When she was almost
done out she said: “Sam, let me in that
boat and ye’U not hear anything more from
me pot o' the way,” So he pulled her in,
and they went back home. She changed
her clothes and entertained the guests.
They’re now nearly eighty and you never
eaw a happier old couple—did you ? I
don’t think they ever spoke of that duckin’
since the day she Wbs goin’ to drown
herself.
Animals.
Darwin, in his “Descent of Man,” has
many kind things to say about animals. So¬
cial animals he tells us, perform many little
services for each other. Horses nibble and
cows lick each other. Monkeys pick from
each other thorns and burrs and parasites.
Wolves and some other beasts of prey hunt
in packs, and aid each other in attacking
their victims Pelicans fish in concert, The
Hamadryas baboons turn over Btones to
find insects, etc.; and, when they come to a
large one, as many as can stand r mnd turn
it over together and share the prize. Social
animals mutually defend each other; Brehm
encountered in Abyssinia a number of
baboons which were crossing a valley; they
were attacked by the dogs, but the old males
immediately hurried down from the rocks,
and wiih mouths widely opened, roared so
fearluily that the dogs retreated. They
were again encouraged to the attack; but by
this time all the baboons had re-ascended
the heights, excepttng a young one about
six months old, which loudly calling for aid
climed on a block of rock and was surround
ed. One of the largest of the males, a true
hero, came down again Torn the mountain,
slowly went to the young one, coaxed him,
aud triumphantly led him away, the dogs
being too much astonished to mak“ an at
tick. On another occasion an eagle seized
a young monkey, which by clinging on to
a branch, was not carried off at once. It
cried loudly for help; upon which the other
members of the troop, with much uproar,
rushed to the rescue, eurrounded the eagle,
and pulled out so many feathers that he no
longer considered his prey, but how to es
cape. _______
If parents could be convinced that a large
proportion of the troublesome faults of
childhood actually proceed from errors in
2, Z,ZZl 1SL",
*».
my ' ^ * 4
and brighten sluggish . ,
Li passion, up many a
torpid mind. If this dependence of
good conduct on physical well-being were
fully recognized, it would also dissolve
much of the criticism wb.ch we use so free
our aid.
@b* ®cngws ¥ttfcJg.
CITY AND COUNTY ORGAN,
THB LARGEST CIRCULATION,
FINEST ADVERTISING MEDIUM.
Advertising Bates.
One eotano, on* year I00SS
On* column, six mont hs. _ „ ..... M **
On* column, three month s «<a
Small advertisement*, is ceuls »
Special Rates to General Advertisers.
ALL SORTS.
Reef-formers. The coral worm—Boston
Star.
The Weather Beureau is the storm
scenter.—Cincinnatti Drummer.
If every dog bad his day, how long would
a bench show last ?—New York MaiL
Cheek is one of the hardest-worked busi—
ness capitals in the country.—Boston
Globe.
\ ery lew people nowadays suffer from
suggestion of the brain.—Mrs. Partington.
It is stated as a fact that many people
t ear best when their eyes are closed. Think
of this in church.—N. Y. Advertiser.
To remove paint: Sit on a freshly daubed
cellar door, or wash the rosey cheeks of a
sleeping beauty.—N. Y. News.
Be a philosopher: but amidst all your
philosophy—be still a man.—Hume. Follow
this advice faithfully aud be a "hu-man.”
—Boston Star.
What is the simplest way to keep jelly from
molding on top ?—Boarding House Keeper.
Put it on the table once in a while.—Phil
delphia News.
Here is proof conclusive that a pig
may be a fish. A tautog is a fish; an
educated pig is a taught hog; ergo, the
metamorphosis is apparent.—New York
Advertiser.
“Postponed on accont of the feather," as
the timid city man said when he didn’t go
through a sheep pasture with a belligerent
ram holding the fort.—Cincinnati Drum¬
mer.
Rev. Dr. Pusey left a personal estate of
more than $80,000. All his property goes
to his daughter, Miss Mary Amelia Brine.
That is to say, it is all Baited down.—Bos¬
ton Transcript.
“Mr. Isaacs, can you tole me vere vas
the first diamond ?” “Ny Mr, Yawcobs ;
vere vas it?” “Vy, Noah's Bon on der ark ;
he vas a Shem of der fust vater.—Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
The poet said that cleanliness was next
to godliness. ThiB is not to be understood
to apply to all kinds of godliness represent¬
ed in the top gallery of a theatre.—Balti¬
more Every Saturday.
When Carlyle said that everybody should
have an aim in life he had no reference to
the fair sex, He had doubtless often seen
a woman trying to throw a stone at a hen.
—N. Y. Advertiser.
The editor of the Waco (Tex.) Sentinel,
having been blown up by the explosion of a
saw mill boiler, we suppose it will now be in
order to allude to him as “our bighlv steam¬
ed contemporary."—Life.
“Dead broke, eh ?" quiried a Boston man
of a seedy looking individual, whom he Baw
passing into a shop adorned with tbreo
golden balls. “No-,” was the curt reply,
‘‘pawn broke.”—Burlington Free Press.
A New York paper says the Brooklyn
bridge is to be “opened with eclat." If any
persons thought it was to be opened with
an oyster knife or a crowbar they now see
their error.—Norristown Herald.
One of the most sanguinary puns of the
season was perpetrated by the Boston Bul¬
letin, as follows: “A blooded horse is of
course a good gore." After such an effort
as this life appears much brighter,—N. Y,
Advertiser.
At Iliedsville N. C., Frank Apple, being
attacked by four negro robbers, killed two
of them outright and seriously injured the
other two.—News item. Some people will
maintain (that this is a pummel logical
incident.—Yonkers Gazette.
Elderly philanthropist, to small boy who
s vainly striving to pull a door-bell above
his head. "Let me help you, my h'ttl*
man.” (Pulls the bell.) Small boy^
‘Now you had better run, or we'll loth get
a licking I”—Fliegende Blatter.
Hint for liars about the weather: “I
never remember anything like this season
for dryness, Three mopths without any
rain!".
"Bah! That’s nothing 1 Now, in 1845,
I remember, we didn’t have a drop of rain
for eighteen months 1"—French.
As a matter of fact George Washington
sat down in the boat and held on to the seat
when he crossed the Delaware, but such a
position would not make a striking tableau,
and so the hero of the terry passed into
pictorial history standing.—New Orleans
Picayune.
One of the Boston papers, in reporting a
lecture on the "corona in total eclipses,” set
it np the “coroner in total eclipses,” and
becausa it got the coroner just where he be¬
longed there was a disposition among tha
fraternity to make a dead-set at the typo.—
Yonkers Gazette.
Lawyer—"You say yon made an examin¬
ation of the premises. Wbat did yon find?”
Witness—“Oh, nothing of consequence; a
beggarly account of empty boxes, as Shak—
speare says.” Lawyer—“Never mind what
Shakspeare says. He will be summoned, and
can testify for himself if he knows anything
about the case."— Boston Transcript,
A highway woman named Annie Richie
was arrested for snatching a watch from
Joseph Pullen, who was walking down
Greenwich street As she has heretofore
been found guilty of a similar offense it is
preeume d that pullin’ watches has mad*
Annie ric h. Annie should change her
ser.
