Newspaper Page Text
THE CONYERS WEEKLY
VOL. XI.
One can now go from London, almost
the boundary of the Chinese Empire
the great Russian Railway.
rhe traveler can now go to the top of
okout Mountain, the scene of the
ebrated battle above the clouds, by
L
Jfe is dow proposed to enact a law in
>uisiana prohibiting under penalty, the
Lnufacture, sale, or use of dangerous
«mons.
The natives of Venezuela recently
[lowed a wagon for nearly a week to
e if the hind wheels would catch \ip
Ith the front ones. As this did not
cur, the vehicle was pronounced a
iud.
L~» The Grand Vizier of Turkey has had
jpawn some of the silver ware bclong
r to the Sultan to raise the Sultan’s
atribution toward the expenses for the
aual pilgrimage of poor Mussulman to
cca.
Seventeen hundred bales of buffalo
bes arrived in New York recently from
b West. These are said to be the last
bes that will ever be sent East, such
ing the scarcity of the buffalo at pres-
1, At one tirrie skins were sold at $4
iece. Now they bring upward of $25,
r being obtainable even at that price.
la 1848 Lieutenant Tree-how was dUs
Issed from the German army fbr sur
fcdering the Berlin armory, in the in
Irrection, to the Civic Guard, and was
Indemned to fifteen years’ imprison
pt in a fortress. He escaped to Aus
alia, and now, at the aga of seventy,
tee, he has returned, hoping that lie
ks included in the amnesty proclaimed
r the new Emperor. The Minister of
ar decides that his offense was ttnpar
kntblV:, and he will be reimprisoned,
bbe.oly for life.
jin Denmark, it is becoming customary,
jserts pd the Tinns-Demoera ,for friends tc
to the relatives of a person who has
led what is called a “Good Works
It’d,” in place of the usual floral trib
les. These cards are of white paste
lard, printed in silver, and are, issued
■ various charitable organizations. On
fch card is the name of the society
pich path issues which It; in the the centre is an ivy
on name of the de
lased ntay be Written: and at the foot
a space fru- the name of the sender,
hecaid^are sold in bookstores fora
Ddera.te sum.
s ■Europe has an abundance of widowed
- Hmpresses just now, says the Cincinnati
■ Germany has two, the wives
William I. and Frederick III.: Eng
B n d’ s Queen and Empress of India has
Bugenie, long widowed; the once beautiful
of France, still lingers at Chis
Bhurst dreaming of her lost son; and
Relieve C'arlotta, the unfortunate
of Maximill an, once Emperor of
I still lives in an asylum. There
®l s o several widowed Queens, those •
Baong Spain, Pottugal and Italy being
j the list. And ail of them, save
B ai 'lotta, were bereft of their husbands
Hf a natural death.
I Every one has noticed while driving
low rarely a horse steps on a stone, even
Ihen going very rapidly, An old
fcvalrymansays that aliorse never steps
pa pder man intentionally. It is a standing
with cavalry that should a man
pcorne fcd be dismounted he must lie down
ptire perfectly still. If he does so, the
company will pass over him aud
p fhere will he not be injured. A horse notices
is going, and is on the look
jut for It a is firm foundation to put his foot
P- an instinct with him, there
F®. to step over a prostrate man. The
Pjuries caused by a runaway horse are.
[early always inflicted by the animal
mocking down men, not by stepping on
lem.
I The New York Observer says: “An
F em has appeared among the cable dis¬
patches been to the effect that a proposition
fas made in the English Parliament,
[° utilize the the latest British acquisition
f Q Zanzibar coast as a dumping
pound for paupers of London. As a
pmedy for over-population, and espe
jialiv loubt for pauperism, there can be no
that emigration possesses some
^vantages. fitherto, The trouble has been
that no country has been found
pilling to sacrifice its own interests for
f“ e sake of England, so far as to become
f re e ptacle for the refuge of London
poms. Australia and all the other Eng
ph •So, colonies and the revolted at this idea long
United States and other
; ivilized nations are in no mood to allow
°ch a use to be made of their territories.
L therefore, the newly acquired African
Gantry may be converted into a vast
^y’utin for the London poor, some ad
ance may be made toward the solution
11 & very perplexing problem.”
CONYERS. GEORGIA, FRIDAY. AUGUST IT, 1888.
“GRIM JACK”
OP YELLOW TINGE, INVADES
FLORIDA, CAUSING A PANIC,
people stampede E»,oM Jacksonville—
MACON,OA., INVITES THE REFUGEES AND
THEN QUARANTINES AGAINST THEM.
Surgeon General Hamilton,, Dr, Sim
“ on *> of Charleston,^jyrKVor Lester, of
Savannah- and Cab* it. G. Fleming, to
.
getoer. with * number of health officers
ana f&i.road officials, met in confere ce
at VVaycross, Ga., on Sunday, to discuss
the situation in reference to the present
scourge and at Jacksonville, for ana t > devise'
ways means succoring the peoplel
and otherwise aiding them. It. w'hS de¬
cided that it Was m'Ccessarjf to speedily
deplete the city of Jacksonville that stamped the
disease might be more quickly
out. ID order to do this k place of ref uge
was necessary. It Whs decided that a
camp of ref ages s be established, and that
Bourogofe, Florida on the line of tbe Savannah,
& Western Rail rend, thirty-six
miles from Jacksonville,in Nassau county,
be selected. TO this end Surgeon-Gen
oral Hamilton will have government tents
shipped immediately to the ground, and
the camp ground will be inaugurated at
once. No sick person Will be Detained,
but sent back to the city.
The mails Will be fumigated (it Way
Weil crog-tj DupOnt Gainesville, and Chattahoochee, as
as Tire transfer of
pas-engers &hd baggage takes place at
the mile post, three miles south of
Waycto-s. AH passengers net properly
certificated are placed in the rough cars,
and not allowed to leave the coaches at
tip the by station, the The strictest patrol is kept
Savannah inspectors from Brunswick,
and Thomasville. The trains
are passing there crowded and it is pit¬
eous to see the wo-be-gohe fexpres ions of
the faces of Women and tne wonder¬
ing gaze of the children flying to escape
thu terrors that are pictured behind
them; caring nothing for baggage or
worldly belongings—going—goiug any¬
where only to be going. As the traiusi
with locked do-irs slow up at the depot
the heads are poked out at the windows
as if in mute appeal, only to be directed
to a place of safety. There is no fear at
Way cross.
Being asked if he would express an
fever opinion on the probability of the H yellow amil¬
sweeping Ja.ksonviile, Dr.
ton nep ied indiiectiy, saving, however,
that he would advise everybody to leave
the city, “Just now the disease appeals
to be of a mild type,” he continued.
“Until we have further data it is unsafe
to express a positive opinion one way or
another. All who can possibly leave
should do so. Fugtives not only save
their own lives in nine ca-es out of ten,
but save the lives of others by robbing
the pestilence of so much material which
it would feed upon. No disease is so
su.-ccptible by quarantine than yellow
fever. In 1876 when Savannah had it so
bad, Charleston, which is but little moie
than one hundred miles off, kept it out
effectually by a strict quarautine. There
is no reason why any of Jacksonville’s
neighbors should contract the fever if
they keep the refugees out. It did not
originate in Jacksonville this Summer,
but was imported. Plant City was not
free from fever at any time during the
past Winter.” Quarantine Officeis Webb
and Baughn were at work on all the north¬
bound trains on the East Tennessee, Vir¬
ginia and Georgia and Central railway
trains coming into Macon, Ga., Officer
Baughn being stationed at Fort Valley
and Webb at Chauncy. As each train
arrives, they board it and come on to
Macon, en route finding out all parties
from the infected distriefs and informs
them they will not be allowed to stop, but
continue on their journey. Most of them
go on through. One or two have raised
a protest, but when they learned that
they were liable to be arrested if they
stopped, they continued on their way.
The officers accompany each train some
distance beyond the city to see that no
one jumps off and comes back.
A special to Jacksonville, received
Sunday, reports three new cases and one
death as the day’s record in that city one
suspicious case has developed at Pablo
Beach, where Capt. Tuttle, of the Louis¬
ville and Nashville Railroad, died. Three
suspicious cases have developed at St.
Augustine, and a stampede from that
city has begun.
The quarantine lines below Brunswick
and all points in Florida is now fully
established and thoroughly guarded at
all points. Inspectors are stationed at
Jesup, Waycross, St. Mary’s, Owens Ferry
and Burnt Fort, while the steamer Mis
chief, is patrollng the mouth of
the harbor, off Jekyl river.
The Brusnwick Ga. board of
health has taken every precaution confidence neces¬ and
sary to establish perfect city. All is
a feeling of security in is the feel¬
quiet now, and there no longer a
ing of uneasiness as to tue continued
good health of Brunswick.
An authority on yellow fever in At¬
lanta on being questioned about the ad¬
visability of permitting refugees from
Florida to enter Atlanta said: “I think
it gives a change for the spread it is of good the
disease and I do not believe
policy to take any chances with such a
dreadful disease as yellow fever. Take
the experience of Huntsville, Ala., and
other towns along the Memphis &
Charleston Railroad, in the epidemic of
1878. Huntsville is every bit s health¬
fully situated as Atlanta. A resort for
delicate persons and young children from
all parts of the South; in a high rolling
country, with good water and air. The
idea of yellow fever coming hobby there of was few
ridiculed and treated as a a
medical cranks. The local physicians
and others said yellow fever germs
Sm of the population &tfi|&, died 2fT from the ft? cji^-f.se. ,S
The governor of Georgia should establish
a Strict quarantine along the Florida
border, aHd eVerJf jieison burning from
Florida should be detained in quarantine
eight or ten days, if necessary, before be¬
ing allowed to proceed, or until all dan¬
ger such, from contagion is had parsed. If some
actiop not taken Sot the, allow people of
Atlanta at least should them
Scives to remain inactive, but should
take stringent measures to prevent this
disease from gaining a foothold in the
til?.”
While numbers of cities in the state
are quar«ntined against Jacksonville GainesViiie, and
Other points in Florida, da.,
the p ifadise of the health and pleasure
sleeker, opens wide heir gates and intites
The unfortuiiatc citizens t'd coffi.e and
partake refreshing of her sparkling water, cool and
breezes and wholesome diet.
The atmo ph re is too pure there for any
epidemic to take up its abode, and the
city extends a cordial welcome to all
those who are fleeing from the awful
scourge.
Chattanooga on Sunday established a
quarantine against J cksonville carload and all
yellow fever infected paints. who A
of Jacksonville refugees were en
rout to C,.at a ooga nere met at tffe
depot by the mayor and hoard of health,
and were not permitted to remain over.
They w< nt North. A penalty of $1,000
flue or imprisonment twelve months on
ttie cliaingang, will be imposed sleeping On from any
conductor who allows a car
a yellow fever infected district to stop
within the city limits of Macon, Ga.
GEN. SHERIDAN'S FUNERAL,
The special train bearing the body of
Gen. Sheri isn and the funeral patty ar¬
rived at Washiitgidn bn Thursday. It
was met by Gen. Schofield, and a guard
of honor from the District of Columbia
military order of Loyal Legion and
Tr mp D, of the 4th cavalry. As the
train slowed into the nation, eight ser¬
geants of the 8d artille y, under com
mand of Lieut, uane^, marched up tne
platform and stopped, formed a line. Soon after
the train Mrs. Sheridan stepped
out; leaning on the arm of CoL Sheridan.
They were met by Gen. Rucker, Mrs.
S teridan’s father aud sister. As they
left the station the artillery sergeants
took the ca-lcet from the car in which it
had made ttie journey from Nonquitt
tnd bore it to a c dsson belonging to the
3rd artillery, which was draped with
flags festooned with crape. As the cais¬
son bearing the b<>dy left the station,
Troop D, of the 4th cavalry, fell into
one in lront and escorted the process on
up Pennsylvania avenue to Fifteenth
street and St. Matthew’s church. Fol¬
lowing the caisson in carriages were Gen.
Schofield and staff, Dr. O’Reilly, Col.
Blunt and the guard of honor from the
local comma id ry of the Loyal Legion.
As the body re iched the church door,
it was met by a p ocession of clergy and
sanctuary boys singing the “Miserere.”
After the casxet had been placed burial upon
he catafalque, the prelimin -ry
service was recited, the choir singing the
uneral hymn. The interior of the church
was eff etively draped, a feature of the
decora i >ns being the American colors
olended with the somber sttade of heavy
folds. The ceraph fronts of both galle¬
ries were served with .arge flags caught
up at intervals with broad bands of
Jack. Above the entrance on the front
of the organ loft were grouped regiment¬
al and cavalry flags, fastened together by
a knot of black. The altar was heavily
draped. The candelabra and marble
black. figures on either side were draped with
Two silk American flags hung
trom the wall above the aliar. The car¬
dinal’s throne on the left of the altar
was appropriately covered, and the front
of the pulpit was concealed by heavy
black velvet, with deep silver fringe
Space had been made in front of the
altar by the removal of four pews on
either side of the main aisle, in the cen¬
ter of which stood the eatafa que, the
same that was used in the funeral obse¬
quies of King Alfonso, held in this
church on the death of the king high sever and 1
years ago. It is about four feet
rests upon a broad base which is covered
with national colors bordered with a
band of black velvet. The upper portion
is covered with an American flag, on
which the casket was placed. At
the head of the casket flag. was planted a gen¬
eral’s headquarters Tbe service
concluded, the little company immedi¬
ately lelt the church. On Friday morn¬
ing the requiem mass was celebrated by
Father Kervick. This service was for
the convenience of the family and friends
of the illusrious dead.
The executive departments were closed
on Saturday as a mark of respect to the
memory of Gen. Sheridan, and all public
business was su-petided on that day.
These invited to the funeral were tbe
President and Mrs. Cleveland, members
of the cabinet and the ladies of their
families, judges of the supreme court.
judges of the local courts, members of
the diplomatic corps, members of tbe Sen
ate and Hou-e of Representatives and
elective officers of both houses, all mem
Oers of the Catholic clergy in Washing
ton, all-officers of the army, navy and
marine corps stationed in Washington,
twenty-five of the Grand Army of Re
public, twenty-five of the Loyal Legion,
eighty members of the press and a large
number of personal friends of the family,
The total number of invitations is-uud
was 1,500. and no person was admitted
to the church without a card of admislon.
The funeral was strictly in accordance
\ ith armv regulation-, and the impres
sive services of the Church were under
the direction of the local clergymen, ab
-o.ution being given by Cardinal Gib¬
bons.
___
Hr,. »»»• »“'lj W50.M0
worth of real estate. .
SOUTHLAND ITEMS,
PARAGRAPHS, SAD, PLEASANT
And terrible.
INDUSTRIAL PROGRESS—THE EXCURSION
FEVER—RAILROAD accidents-suicides
DEFALCATIONS—COTTON REPORTS, ETC.
Alabama.
Samuel Noble, of Anniston, is danger¬
ously ill.
The Pullman Oar Company will locate
branch shops at Ensley City.
James O’Kelly, a journalist and M. P.,
was sentenced in Ireland to four months
irnpf aonment, on charge of making
Speebhfes inciting to intimidatidh.
A west-hound passenger ttaih, Pacific frbm
Birmingham, on the Georgia
Road, was derailed on Thursday at
Cook’s Springs, twenty-five miles of Bir¬
mingham. Every car led the track and
turned over on their sides down a slight
embankment. M. J. Carlisle, of Eden,
Ala., a p issenger, was severely cut about
the shoulders and head. The other pas¬
sengers and train men escaped with
few slight bruises. A defective switch
frog caused the rails to spread.
A terrific thunder storm parsed consid¬ over
Birmingham on Thursday, doing telephone
erable damage. A number of
wires were cut, breaking some of the
large circuits. The residence of Dr.
Brewster, on Fourth avenue, was struck
and badly damaged. His daughter, Miss
Fanny, and a colored servant were badly
shocked, the colored woman being ren¬ The
dered unconscious lor several hours.
handsome residence of Dr. A. Godder
was struck and badly damaged. At East
Lake, six miles from the city,the elegant
residence of Mr. H. M. Horton was torn
to pieces and the furniture bioken into
kindling wood by a bolt of lightning.
mtuonri.
Another large advance has been made
in jute bags in St. Louis, the mills hav¬
ing received instructions fr> m the East
to increase their prices. The rates now
are; On H pound bagging, j lOf cents
per yard; 1J pounds, 11 cents; 2
pounds, Ilf cents; 2J pounds, 18J. On
this basis, (500,000 yards of bagging have
been sold by the Southern M.lls of St.
Louis.
A hold mail robbery was committed on
the Missouri Pacific Road, between Jef
fersou City and St. Louis, in which over
$17,000 was stolen, of which $5,000 was
from tbo state treasury. The discovery
of the crime was accidental. Two
farmers near suspicious-looking Washington, were ap¬
proaching highway, a when he b frightened, man on
a came
and, in attempting to flee, dropped it, a
large package. The farmers seemed
and at once discovered that it was plun¬
der from a mail robbery.
Tennessee*
After digging in the ruins of the recent
fire at Chattanooga, nearly a dozen bod¬
ies were recovered.
Mbs Daisy Judd, of Nashville, com¬
mit; ed suicide at New Middleton by
blowing out her brains with a pistol.
Unrequited love was the cause.
The Oiluce Manufacturing Co., en¬
gaged in the production of wire cloth at
v\est Nashville, a new manufacturing
suburb of this city, made an assignment
on Saturday. The assets are placed at
about $180,000, while liabilities are
$ 120 , 000 .
A fire broke out on Thursday in the
Griffith- Caldwell building on Market
street in Chattanooga, and a loss of
$400,000 was sustained before the fire
was extinguished. The he aviest losers
were: Bradt Printing Co.; Gibson, Lee
& Co., china dealers; N. Deitzer & Bro ;
Block Drug Co.; L. Rosenheim, cloth
ingdealer; "A. Tsehopik, confectioneries;
Baltimore Clothing Co. Three men,
among them J. P. McMillan, a promi¬
nent citizen, were buried in the falling
walls.
Two men had made ready a very
heavy blast in the face of the high bluff
at the mouth of Smith’s forks, near Lan¬
caster. It was composed of quite a num¬ and
ber of holes about twenty feet deep,
with nine or ten kegs of powder made to ready the
hole. Everything had been
to touch the" blast with electricity by
means of a wire conn, cted with the bat
tery. A clou-1 came up in the meantime,
and as it was lightning, the men con¬
cluded to wait until the cloud pas-ed
over. A flash of lightning, however,
came running along the wire from the
battery exploding the blasts with a tre¬
mendous noise. The whole side of the
bluff was blown off and it tumbled with
a tremendous crash down below. At
the time the blast occurred, two laboring
men were seen coming along down
under the bluff. They were vigilantly
searched for after the explosion, found. but no
Lace of them could be
■'onth Carolina,
j Charleston bas instituted a close q u ar
; antine against ihe Honda infected p rts
i on account of yellow fever. Tbe quar
i aut ’ ue ‘ s no * oa Y sea ’ nlt on an< "
1 [ Reports from 262 correspondents of
the state agricultural depaitment, show
that cotton has greatly improved during
the last month, and p-artieulaily The in the
upper and middle sections. crop,
however, is still late. The staple cotton
on the sea island is very fine, the condi
tion being reported from one hundred to
a hundred and ten. Corn is reported at
79 for the stale against 99 last year; the
average of rice for the state is 85 is agairis
97 last year. The area in rice about
the same as last year. Labor is satis
, factory.
AN TrcriEm woman m AlaSXa "has ~oeen tor
t u r ed to death with red-bot stones, which
.
i
jfATIONAL CAPITAL
WHAT THE SWELTERING PUB¬
LIC OFFICIALS ARE DOING.
PROCEEOlNCe OF CONGRESS—IMPORTANT
ACTS OF PKiSSUbENT CLEVELAND—AP¬
POINTMENTS AND REMOVALS, ETC.
CONGRESSIONAL. of
On Thursday, after the passage
several bids on the calendar, tbe Senate
proceeded to tkO consideration 6'f the
fisheries treaty in open executive session,
and Mr. Evarts resumed his He speech bad
against its ratification. After
spoken for two h.uvs, Mr. Evarts yielded
the floor temporarily to allow Mr. Haw¬
ley to introduce a concurrent re-olution
that mferribets of both houses shall attend
the funeral of Gen. Sheridan on Satur¬
day next at ten a. m., and that, as a fur¬
ther mark of respect to the memory of
the deceased, the two houses, when they
adjourn on Friday, shall adjourn to meet
on Monday next, Resolutions were
agreed to, and Mr. Evarts resumed his
argument again-t the fisheries treaty....
In the House, the message from the Sen¬
ate announcing the passage by that body
of a concurrent resolution declaring that
members of both houses would attend
the funeral of Gen. Sheridan on Saturday
next, and that as a mark of respect the to
the memory of the deceased, when
two houses adjourn on Friday, it will be
to meet on Monday next, It was con
enrred in.
GOSH IP.
The grave in which Gen. Sheridan’s
body lies in Arlington is a few rods dis¬
tant from the Lee mansion, the front and
south of it, and just beyond the brow of
si grassy slope that pitches somewhat
steeply. It is a rare picture of forest and
city, of river, giave and garden diversi¬
fied, glorified with such a panorama of
stately public architecture as no other
spot on the continent commands. A
mile of level separates the bluff from
the river which stretches in a broad, gray
belt across the landscape. Back of the
grave, and vtpon the most commanding
spot on the Virginia side, stands the old
Lee mansion, now tbe office and head¬
quarters of the National cemetery. No
other grave than that of Sheridan is _ in
front of the mausion.
THE WORLD OVER.
CONDENSATION OF FACTS BY
'PHONE AND TELEGRAPH.
SOMETHING ABOUT CONVENTIONS, RAIL¬
ROADS, WORKING PEOPLE, CAPITALISTS,
EUROPEAN CROWNED HEADS, ETC.
Lawrence R. Jerome, a not d rich man
of New York, died at Sharon, Conn., on
Sunday.
A light frost occurred in northwestern
Minnesota aud in Michigan on Saturday,
but no damage was reported.
Miss Fanny Milliken, of New Orleans,
La., accomptnied by J. Harman Reed,of
Alb my, N. Y., attempted to pad-lie
around Bar Harbor, Me., in a canoe,
which upset and both were drowned.
Two iron mills of Graff, Bennett &
Co., at Pittsburg, Pa., were sold at auc¬
tion on Thursday for $729,000 to satisfy
two mortgages, oDe of $625,000, held by
tbe New Y r ork Life Insurance Company,
and the other for $100,000, held by local
parlies.
An attempt was made on Sunday to
blow up the residence of William Col¬
lier, of Pitiston, Pa., while he and his
wife were asleep in an upper room. A
charge of giant powder was place l in a
hole bored in a pitch pine log. A bomb
was placed on the front porch, leaning
against the house, and fired with a fuse.
Beyond a severe shock, the occupants of
the house were uninjured. The duties
of his position make Mr. Collier unpop¬
ular with the miners, and it is be-ieved
some of them i bought to get revenge by
killing him in this way.
A DEADLY ENEMY
While Gen. „ Boulanger TJ . was out .... driving
in an open carriage at t-t. Dean Dangely
on Sunday, Prof. Perrin, of the Lycee,
fired five shots at him from a revolver.
M. Ratapan, a friend of the general,
rushed forward and managed to .urn the
weapon aside. The result was that Rat
apan himself received a bullet m the
back of the head, but the wound is not
seuous. Two peasants were also wound
ed. G< n._ Boulanger was not touched,
Prof. Perrin is a friend of Mayor Lair,
a candidate nominated by opportunists in
opposition to Boulanger. The affair oc
curred at height of a pitched battle be
tween the rival political parties, when
gendarmes charging, head Count Dillon re¬
ceived a blow on the from a stick
and other Boulangerists were roughly
handled.
Trxnn.
John Lovejoy, a killed prominent attorney, William
shot and instantly Aaron dif
son at Galveston on Saturday. The
ficulty originated over a debt of $20
owed Wiiham-on by Lovejoy since the
Fall of 1884, when the latter ran and was
deteated for district attorney.
On Thursday morning, six miles from
Waco, on the Texas Central road, apiece
of timber was fastened to the track and
the night express was derailed, the loco
motive demolished and several cars
badly damaged. Engineer Moses was
killed outrigfft. His fireman was terribly
scalded and half a dozen passengers in
jured. The sheriff's posse is scouring
the country for the criminals.
NO. 25.
A GREAT INVENTOR.
He had a startling genius but somehow It
didn’t emerge.
Always on the evolution of things that
wouldn’t evolve;
Always verginr toward some climax, but he
never reached the verge;
Always nearing the solution of some them*
he could not solve.
And he found perpetual motion, but a tog
wheel set awry
Burst his complex apparatus and he oouldf
not get it fixed;
And he made a life elixir—if you drank you’d
never die—
But the druggist spoiled the compound when
the medicine was mixed.
And he made a flying vessel that would navi
gate the air,
A gofgsous steamer of the heavens, a grand
aerial boat.
A matchless paragon of skill, a thing beyond
compare,
And the only trouble with it—he could never
make it float.
And fie found a potent aeid that would
change red dirt to gold;
But the tube from which he poured it had
some trouble with It’s squirt,
So the gold held in solution and would not let
go its Isold,
And the dirt in dogged stubbornness it still
continued dirt.
And lie made a great catholicon to cure all
disease,
A general panacea for every acho and pain.
But first he tried it on himself his stomach
ache to ease.
And it killed him very quickly—and he did
not try again.
—X IF. Foss, in Yankee Blade.
PITH AND POINT. ;
A country seat—The top fence rail.
A patient man—One in a doctor’s office.
A doctor must understand all tongues.
When a thin man visits you, lougehim
in the spare room, of course,
A sick burglar is very loth to call a
doctor for fear that he may give him up.
“Mine, miner, minus?” This is the
upshot of speculations in mining stock. 1
What are ministers good for? They’re
good because it is part of their b tsincs3.
The exact quantity of the lion’s share
is »ot stated, but it is all the lion can
g«t.
When a woman is tryiug to write a
letter on a half she t of paper much may
be said on both sides.— ifnto IJuoen Mews.
“Talking That’s is cheap,” clour. they say:
not so
Just hire a lawyer tiiid
And you’ll it dear.
— Judye.
A correspondent wants to know the
difference between a dog-watch and a
watch-dog. Well, not much; they are
both kept on the bark .—The Ocean.
Tb.s v'orld is but o fleeting show,
And no wise man regrets it, *
For man wants little here below,
And generally be gets it.
~Som rville Journal.
Ingenious thing, this English lan
gua.e. When you hear a citi en say:
“ h, lie’s a good man.” you can’t tell
whether he is talking ol a pugilist or of
a deacon.
A criminal lately executed in England scaffold,
protested his innocence on the
and his last words were that he was a
good a d faithful subject of the Queen.
The subject then dropped.— Sij'tinys.
•‘.Nothing is over lost,” Walt Whitman sings;
But po. ts have peculiar views of things:
Few will agree vvi-h h in who’vo had ill luck,
When they the frisky t.ger tried to buck.
—Boston Courier.
Brown made a bet with Wagerly that
he could cause nine out of every ten
men who passed a certa n building that
day to touch thu structure. Wagerly,
accepted the bet. Brown simply hunjfi
oat the sign “Faint.”— JuJ/je.
A lover called upon a Miss, bewitchtng,
And thought she loosed
Hj longed so much her lips kitchen, to i.iss,
He chased her round the
But foil against the red hot stove
As soon as he had kis.se-l her,
Arid though he thought the kiss was blis*
Ho louriil the burn a blister.
— Siftings. |
Overtaxing his brain. Okl Mrs. theyoungj Bentlyi
—“ Did you hear, Jo.siah, that
Hendrickses’ student who is has been sick?” boardin’ Lid at Mrs.j the|
very heard what’s the:
Bently—“Yes, I so;
trollb i e w j t h him?” Old Mrs. Bently—!
.. stlK | y n > too hard I s’pose. The doc
tor sa „ 8 he’s got information of thei
br aii) ‘ ”__ The Epod.
Mr iIoa r-“I would like to ask the,
Benator f|0m l lorida what is the mean-|
. ,^ f , h provWon that .he Academy nothing for,' of,
Dtal ^ence shall charge coverumeut
j | ^ gurvice rendered t0 Mr.Call—“That the is!
j 3 he United State s?”
[ ft literal COJ)y ot the law Sciences.” in regard to Mr. tho,
Nati0 nal Academv of cut'
; [Ioar . ... [)0(;s it ^eau that they shall
. he eye-teeth of mv honorable friend;
I ? rom \ 0 \v& oralis‘."-Congressional Record.]
j
A Famous Pear Tree Dead.
The world-famous End'cott pear tree,] onj
planted by Governor Jonn Endicott
the ancient orchard farm at Danvers NeW (
Mills in 1630 or 1633, is dead. Tradi
tion bag jt tbat lego was planted, the date but when, then*
tiie venerable tree was Endicott
j g , dso evidence that Governor
did not break up the ground for hia,
orchard until 1633. There is no doubt,!
however, of the great antiquity ol tha ;
p ear tree, old and when that it its was last from vital 350 spark; toj
260 years the north,
went out. The tree stood on
bank of the river, about half waybetwasu had
the Mills and the railroad track It
but one rival—an aac !* nt P,
the sands of Cape ,p < j- tea
Truro, on
prior to ItiU.—B oston Jounce
Redhead is the name of the richest
man in Hutchinson, Kan. He made hia
money in baking powder. I