Newspaper Page Text
ell -idS'O-atli
Saturday by the
’'Zimrn rer y
COMPANY
V yfaddox, ) Proprietors.
pD. I rffin __
SUBSCRIPTION. 25.
$1
irear - Cl
months CO
ee free.
ijmen copy
SAM JOKES RESUME.
Remarkable Sayings ol the
of the Revivalist
said to me the other night:
on missed your
1 I wouldn’t have the
^2daSdtbat peS ' e * 10 ” and vet when
man
r^Tnheeyourselfso Kr'aet umlerhold of that
an you.
an¬
L Led! me an underhold. creed? It , the _,
What is is
of truth set up and stuffed with
host and sand. If I had a creed
,Id sell it to a museum
ere are wishy-washy fellows in
thurcli that have a cotton string
fa few ribs tied to it, and they
L il backbone. free. The best
S ets a man
[in the world to kill a man is to
him to death; then you don’t
to bury him.
takes less sense to criticise
to do anything else. I here
great many critics in the luna
isvlum. too to
have known women poor
a pair of shoes, hut I nevei
tone too poor to own a looking
e devil is too much of a gen
L [ to stay where he is not wel
f? Why ’does he stay in your
Uaps [religion if you because don’t talk havn’t about
it is you
religion to talk about,
lien" some of you members of
thurcli get to heaven the an
|will have to introduce you.
Relieve liquor is a good thing in
lace, and I believe its place is in
e sweetest rest man ever had is
test he finds in activity,
inv a fellow is praying for rain
pistol)bottom side lip.
kl liquor and Christianity won't
s in the same hide,
pm is the law of fools, and it is
ing this country,
e matter of church doctrine is
L'idect.
rally is the starch of tli tv
6d. The more dignity a fe
las got the nearer death lie is.
e grandest epitaph I ever saw
|home wife's tombstone was: “She
[•- happy.”
road to hell is the road to
In. The only difference is in
ray fan*t you arc going,
bribe God’s grand jury
fly 1st day. the Court that tries me ou
lould rattier lie in heaven learn
iy A. I!. Gs than in hell reading
[s liain the about part of trifles. wisdom not to
thing Even if
(ays goes wrong, as a rule it
host never to say anything
it. Commend when you can,
N only when you must,
P t be ashamed of your town
jounty, favorable but speak of They them and
manner. may
pore credit to you than you to
doesn't look well when men
1 moi 'f* money in hurying their
I than they do in supporting
;*kile they are alive.
I love letters are much like
P U P- A love letter that tele
|s a delightful tingle to the tip
pt the thump fingers and toes, makes
r* fast and even warms
I stomach when first written,
P after the flame which inspir
P , dle( b possesses all the fat
ptaleness and nauseating qual
,' U ar V- n a pork T bean broth
, laid in the , refrigerator since
, ■' Itca n be warmed over,
‘ove , letters
cannot.
ticians say that everything is
e and poUtics * This
same m <,e T * uit dc ctrine “that
d justifies ir the means.”
“•d.’SeTf' hint 1 without ''" 1 * 110 '”" giv
a of it.
L *ell, or to be
t lt > are as much dif
Work >ug hard is from be
!cs thon art a fraud—to
lhal gets beat. the
I Kwabo^i buttons, SWabow without flattery as
hue 'hp trouble tr that follow? anv
may
had been reading the
bap, d cradl *ng wheat:
w y u - Jg* 'our cradle
cut
i replied ! .h" theold 86 U ’ s dull, I
I boy , cca “an.” No,’
In." ‘ ° u*e U goes against
Solid
Vol. 4.
GORDON'S KINDNESS.
An incident proving the devotion
of Gen. Gordon to his soldiers was
related to us a few days ago by a
young friend who lives on the line of
Randolph and Stewart counties,
near County Line church. In his
neighborhood lives Mr. Robert
Ware, who was immediately under
Gen. Gordon during the war. Just
after one of the hardest fought bat¬
tles of the war, in which the troops
ot both sides were mowed down like
the ripe wheat before the scythe, Mr.
Ware was commanded to go on pick¬
et duty. It was a bitter cold night
The snow was on the ground many
inches deep. Mr. Ware had come
out of the battle just fought without
receiving any wounds, but with the
loss of nearly all his clothing. To
have stood at his post of duty din¬
ing the night would have been sure
death. As Gen. Gordon rode down
the line that night he discovered the
situation of Mr. Ware, only a poor
soldier as he was, and his heart went
out in sympathy to him. Removing
his own coat, hat and shoes he turn¬
ed them over to the trembling guard
andfinisbed liisride in that condition.
Mr. Warren survived the conflict, re¬
turned home and settled down ou
his farm, but he never forgot this
simple act of kindness, and his first
boy born after the war was christen
ed “Gordon Ware.” It cannot be
disputed that Gen. Gordon has a
heart for his people, capable of sym¬
pathizing with them in their needs,
both in the war and since, bis past
life has demonstated this fact to the
perfect Satisfaction of all unbiased
minds.—Cutlibert Appeal.
An Atlanta reporter who once
“pulled a hand press” on a country
weekly tells this story:
One day while the paper was be¬
ing worked off a man from the coun¬
try came in and walked all around
the room, finally stopping near the
press and watching the work very
earnestly*. do for you?” ask
“Anything lean lever, pausing be
ed the man at the
tween impressions. reply. “I don’t
“Naw,” was the
want nothin’, jis come in to see ye
edit.”
Sunshine is like love—it makes
everything shine with its own beau
tj
“Now,” said the photographer, have
“look cheerful, if you want to
a good picture.” How
“Cheerful, the Dickens! can
a democrat look cheerful .with no
post office in sight?”
The Sunny Clime girl speaks of
“hair, black as night, ” We never
knew that night had an}’ hair but
we suppose this is the newest fash¬
ion.
“Jefferson Davis was hung in effi¬
gy on Saturday by some excited in¬
habitants of Tiffin, Ohio.” The
breed of idiots still flourishes in
Ohio.
Smiles are said to date from Eden
days, when Adam smiled because
Eve stubbed her toe (figuratively dismiss
speaking), resulting in ber
al from the garden, but because Ad¬
am had to go too is really where the
laugh comes in.
The plaster form of a man on his
hands and knees has been moulded
in the ashes in Pompeii. It is sup¬
posed that when the calamity over
took the city the man was on his
bands and knees looking for a col¬
lar button under the bureau.
Said a young man, the other even¬
ing: “Is it etiquette, in writing to a
young married woman whom you
have known well, to call her “my
darling pet?” My dear sir, it is
not a question of etiquette, but of
athletics. It depends how far you
can distance her husband in a mile.
“Bill, you’ve been in love, hain’t
you?” said one stripling to another
a year or two older than himself.
“Oh, yes, Tom; I’ve been there
head over heels a couple of times.”
“Does it make a fellar feel as
though his ciothes didn’t fit him?”
“That’s it.”
“And sorter gloomy and saddish
most of the time?”
“Well I should rather say so. If
you've got it in earnest Tom, you
feel as though you’d been a fishin’
and didn’t get a bite.”
“Bite! Gosh? feel as though 1
didn’t even have no bait.”
The more counties Gordon carries
the dirtier will become the abuse that
is heaped on him.
General Clement A. Evans says;
“There is no man in Georgia whom
the people of Georgia could not bet
ter afford to see defeated than Gene¬
ral Gordon.”
4 1
\N
a
M ..:si si IS
„„ A■’ ,j ;.v p p,!.
TRUTH, JUSTICE AND PROGRESS FOREVER.
CONYERS, GEORGIA, JUNE 12, 1886.
THE HEROIC REMEDY.
He had been courting a West Find
girl for a long time, but he has quit
now. It happened Sunday night at'
ter church. They’ were sitting as
close together as the sofa would per
mit. She looked wi^h inetfable ten
derness into his noble blue eyes.
“George,” she murmured, with a
tremor in her voice, “did’nt you tell
me once you would be willing to do
any great act of heroism for my
sake?”
“Yes, Fanny; and I gladly reiter
ate that statement now,” he replied
in confident tones. “No noble Ro¬
man of old was fired with a loftier
ambition, a braver resolution than
I.”
“Well, George, I want you to do
something real heroic for me.”
“Speak, darling; what is it?” We’ve
“Ask me to be your wife.
been fooling long enough.”
The sequel is stated in the preface.
A little black boy stood with his
small sister at the edge of a water
lilly pond in Florida. ‘ Ephium,”
said the girl, “what makes heah so pon’?” many
cat tails grow in dis
“Doan you know?” inquired Ephi¬
um; “why dey grow up from kittens
that people has drowned in de pon’,
ob course. ’
The commencement sermon of the
Southern Methodist Female college
will be preached in Covington June
13th, by I. S, Hopkins, president of
Emory college. The literary address
will be delivered by Captain John
Milledge, of Atlanta, Ga.
Miss Lula Treadwell, daughter of
Mr. Bill Treadwell, of Atlanta, was
married to Mr. Win. H. Warren, of
Marietta, last week by Rev. J. M.
Brittian, of Covington.
A California w-oinan, while split¬
ting wood, bit her tongue into
lengthwise. The fact that she now
discharges both barrels at her hus¬
band makes him regret that lie ev
er delegated the kindling recreation
to her.
Every dinner or picnic reporter
speaks of the “groaning tables.”
This is a misnomer, for the table
never groans, but the guests do af¬
ter dinner.
An Irishman sleeping with a ne
gro, had his face blackened by’ a
practical joker. Starting off in the
morning, he caught sight of him
self in a mirror and exclaimed; “Be
gorra, they’ve woke the wrong man!”
“Habit” is hard to overcome.—
Take off the first letter and it does
not change “abit”. If you take off
another, you still have a “bit” left.
If you take off another, the whole of
“it” remains. If you take off anoth¬
er, it is not “t” totally used up.
All of which goes to show that if
you wish to get rid of a “habit” you
must throw it off altogether.
“Dear me!” exclaimed a red
haired girl to her brother, “I see
that bonnets are now made of paper.
What next 1 wonder?” “Well, sis, if
you put one on, I think a conflagra
tion would come next.”
“Are you a marrying man?” was
asked of a sombre-looking gentleman
at a recent up town reception. reply;
“Yes, sir,” was the prompt
“I’m a clergyman ”
Young man, never marry a girl
who chews gum. Her jaw w ill work
just the same after marriage.
A policeman’s club is not a suita¬
ble ODe to join. One generation has
a sw-elled head after the meeting.
“You are pretty as a picture,” he
prettily remarked; and then added
something not so pretty to the effect
that: “It would have been much
cheaper for me if I had taken your
picture instead of yourself, the morn¬
ing we were married.”
No, Ethel, when you hear of a
girl having made a good “match”
it does not signif} 7 that she has got
something that will get up every
morning andjight the fire.
“What do they do when they in¬
stall a minister?” inquired a small
boy. “Do they put him in a stall
and feed him?’’ “Not a bit,” said
his father; “they harness him to a
eliurch and expect him to draw it.”
Thursday of last w eek Mr. G F.
Turner and Miss Cora L. Brown,
both of Henry county, were married
by Rev. J. F.'Kimbell.
Every honorable man who votes in
a party nomination will vote for the
party nominee, whether it is his
choice no not. A man who votes in
tbe primary thereby pledges him
pledge. " * Dr. Felton to the contra
r Y-
•r 1
‘-S '"'
' §
At a large and enthusiastic meet
ing of the citizens of Douglassville
and vicinity Saturday, addresses
were delivered by Colonel MynaU,
Judges Stewart and Glenn, and
from expressions since, it is very
evident that Colonel Mynatt has
captured the citadel. At least three
out of every four who listened to the
speeches are pronouncedly in favor
of Colonel Mynatt for congress.
We find in a recent poem that,
“she fell, alas! and hundreds wept.”
We don’t believe it. If she fell,
which looks reasonable enough, and
there were hundreds standing around
which we have no cause to doubt,
we’ll wager that every mother’s son
of them laughed.
Judge Pittman. ex-Ordinary of
Fulton county, who dropped dead
about three weeks ago lroin heart
disease, had $3,000, of insurance
on his life, divided as follows: Mu¬
tual Reserve Fund of New York, $5,
000; Royal Arcanum, $3,000, and
a paid up policy in the Northwes
tern Life Insurance Company for
$ 1 , 000 .
The minister was struggling to
put on a new-four-ply collar, and
the perspiration was starting fiom
every pore.
“Bless the collar,” he ejaculated.
“Oh, yes, bless it. Bless the bless¬
ed collar.
“My dear.” said his, wife “what is
your text for this morning’s ser¬
mon?”
“T-twenty first verse f fifty-fifth
Psalm.” he replied, in short grasps.
“ ‘The w words of his m-mouth were
s smoother than butter, but w-war
was in his heart.”
If Col. Felton is preparing to be
an independent candidate for Gov¬
ernor in the event of Gen. Gordon's
nomination he had better be bus
banding his strength and eloquence.
Capt. W. H. Harrisson, clerk of
the executive office, is preparing an
alphabetical list of all named ex
Confederate soldiers entitled to re¬
ceive payment on account of lost
limbs. The list will be printed and
copies furnished to all of the ordina¬
ries in the state, in order to prevent
the perpetration of frauds by evil
disposed persons. The next pay¬
ment to maimed soldiers will be made
in September.
Since the joint discussion termina¬
ted, Bacon is in Gordon’s rear, fol¬
lowing him around. lie is still
keeping up his old practices. He
was in Gordon’s rear during the
war.
Thursday Mrs. Lucy Watson, a
widow lad}* about 50 years old, who
lives in Gwinnett county near the
Walton line, committed suicide by
hanging herself. She took a pillow
line, climbed upon a high stump
near a pi no sapling, tied the rope to
the pine, then around her neck, and
jumped off. She was dead when
found. No cause is known for the
act. She had a good home and w r as
well thought of by ber neighbors.
Said William to Martha: “But
3 ’ou must remember, ni} 7 dear, that
my tasleis better than yours.” Said
Martha to William: “Undoubtedly
when yon come to remember that
you married me and I married }’ou.”
And William said not a word, but
seemed to be thinking.
Henry county’s paper fund
amounts to $867 per year.
“What is your idea of love, Mr.
Sinnick?” “Three meals a day and
well cooked.”
Marriage is a slice of bread and
butter, spread with jam, given to
overgrown children. The jam soon
disappears, and nothing remains but
dr}’ bread, though even that is some¬
times appreciated.
“Why did Adam bite the apple?”
asked the school teacher. “’Cause
he had no knife,” repled addressed. the boy to
whom the question was
When a small boy in Boston was
asked by his Sunday school teacher
if be did not want to be ‘born again,’
replied: “No, I don’t, I’m afraid 1
might he born a girl next time.”
Tht ordinary of Henry county,
Judge W. N. Nelson, was sworn in
by Judge Boynton, and entered up¬
on his duties last Thursday.
The whisky men of Oconee county
will not contest the prohibition elec
tion if the ordinary will allow them
to sell until next January. It the
ordinary refuses to allow them to
sell until that tune, then they W, V*
contest on what they consider good
grounds. One of the barkeepers has
open the others ought to have the
same right.
No. 21.
FROM FAR OFF TEXAS,
Flatokia, Texas. June 4th, 1SS6.
Editors Solid South:* At the
house of my neighbors, Tom and
Burt McLean, I find a copy of your
paper, peruse its columns and de¬
cide to “talk back” at you a little.
Our friends, Burt and Tom, are
well to cto farmers with hebits of
morality, industry and economy,
hence good citizens. But they’ arc
bachelors. That’s bad. Did you
ever see the insides of a bachelor’s
hall? Theirs was up, or down, to the
true standard until their sister ar
rived last January to grace their
goodly house. And right graceful¬
ly does she preside and much to
the improvement of their home. No
woman had ever lifted their gate
latch before. Upon her entrance
the old rooster gave a warning note.
The hens made a fuss, chicks took
notice and all fled to hiding places.
But since she has scattered “crumbs
of kindness” among them and giv¬
en them such care as only a woman
can give, they 7 have learned to love
her.
I might tell of her skill at shoot¬
ing acquired in this country, but I
will let a bullet hole in the roof of
the house and the sad story of a care
less old hen’s death toll tlie tale.
In fact 1 promised not to tell, so 1
will not.
I might tell of her horse back ex¬
ploits but she says don’t. So 1 will
only hint thusly: Went out riding
on a Texas pony with an air of “final
perseverance.” Proceed very well;
confidence improves; rides fast; lost
confidence. Tableax. She stand¬
ing in the road, facing the rest of
her party who'are riding up. These all
were her words, “How came you
meeting me?” Cause of perplexity:
i she world had turned around. But
these scenes have passed. First les
sons have been taken and tbe new
coiner seems to feel at home.
Will write again and possibly
more than once, describing the
country to some extent as to the
climate, the soil, the products, etc.,
and also something of the people as
to their habits, moral status, etc.,
more or less.
Respectfully Camp yours, Bell.
Principal Keeper of the Peniten
tiary John R. Towers has ordered
the convict camp at Graysville to had be
broken up. This camp originally
twenty convicts, but the number is
now only ten. It is not the policy of
the Principal • keeper to maintain
camps so small.
The fight now going on between
the people upon one hand and
rings upon tiic other, the former led
by General John B. Gordon and the
latter by Hon. A. O. Bacon, is grow¬
ing more and more interesting every
day, and from the signs in the po
liticnl horizon, the people will get
the best of it tiiis time. The people
are getting disgusted and begin to
feel humiliated in being bossed over
by a few court house rings. Let the
people speak and you’ll hear it thun¬
der.
Alexander Hayes, aged 101, is the
oldest man in Clay count} 7 .
I. II. Elliott, of Alapaha, has inven
ted an appliance to his grist mill
which fans the corn as it falls from
the hopper to the rocks. It is a sort
of bellows and is worked by tbe same
power that grinds the corn. This is
an important invention, as it prevents
trash or dirt of any sort from being
ground with the corn.
An excursion party from the neigh¬
borhood of Springfield, Piqua and
DaytoD, Ohio, arrived in Atlanta Sat¬
urday. Otheis have gone to Thoin
aston and other points.
AtWaycross last Monday night
three different houses were entered
and the ladies frightened almost out
of their wits. In every instance the
men folks were absent, and it is sup
posed the same party did it all.
On last Saturday night Captain
and Mrs. E. P. Howell, of Atlanta,
celebrated their silver wedding at
their beautiful home in West End.
There is not a more popular, genial
and liberal hearted man in the
state of Georgia.
When a Maine man was shot at
the other day the bullet was turned
aside, not by a pocket Bible, but by
| j a there plug is of moral tobacco. to the Consequently
no case,
j I ])r FclU)n he organized ig speaUing de- in
| cara , )a *rSis p rn a s an
, n()crat is undoubtedly true,
an a U» prove it he says he w ill not
j t General Gordon if he be
: meg tlie d emo eratic nominee.
| has Barlow four co„p, thousand y ia.ut dollais of debt in and the
i treasury.
30 B 0101 ®
►SglOF ALL KIND DONKI^r
NEATLY Am PROMPTLY.
ADVERTISING RATES
ADE KNOWN ON DE AND.
Pay for advertisements is always
due after the first insertion, unless
otherwise contracted for.
Guaranteed positions 20 per cent
extra.
Entered postotfice as second-class mail
matter.
A JUMPING SLEEPER.
A rather amusing incident oo
curred recently in Gwinnett conn
tv. A gentleman who is in
the habit of walking in his sleep had
a dream. He dreamed he saw a fine
covv of partridges running along re¬
ward an old house and then go in.
Thinking this a good opportunity
to capture them, he quietly slipped
along until he got to the door, when
he suddenly jumped inside and
closed the door. What was his as¬
tonishment to discover a mad dog
in there, which rushed at him at
once. His only chance of escape
was to jump through the window,
and through he went with a bound.
When he awoke he was lying out¬
side of the house on tlie ground,
having jumped through a window
in his bed room and carried the sash
with him. He was badly bruised mi l
bis leg severely cut by the glass lie
had broke through.
Col. Avery, who is at present in
Athens Writes to the Atlanta Capi¬
tol the following item: “I can give
you some railroad gossip that if true
will make a sensation in certain
quarters. It is that the Macon and
Covington railroad is to be divert¬
ed from Coyington to Athens
through Madison. The road is gra¬
ded to Monticello and a force has
been at work between Monticello and
Covington, and this force has been told
withdrawn—that Madison was
that if she raised $60,000 she should
have the road. She lias raised $53.
000 and guarantees the balance, and
so the company has to redeem its
pledge. This is the story Which
parties represent to be true. Cov¬
ington will make a big fuss over
this if it is correct. Madison and
Athens are jubilant.”
In Lumpkin county twenty Gor¬
don men walked eight miles to vote
for the old hero. They said they had
tramped with him on longer marches
than that, and would respond when¬
ever lie called for them.
Mr. J. B. Hutcheson, of the Jones¬
boro News, has retired from control
of that paper, and will be succeeded
by Mr. Frank Oliphant.
Pulaski county is about to estab¬
lish a poor house for its paupers.
Some of the ambitious men w ho
have attached themselves to the Ba¬
con faction would have fewer dis¬
appointments in this life if they
made it their business to study the
people of Georgia.
“Isn't it heavenly?” ejaculated
Miss Gush, in reference to Miss
Pedal’s performances on the piano.
“Yes,” replied Fogg, “it is indeed
heavenly. It sounds like thun¬
der.”
It is related of a popular clergy¬
man that lie started a dull prayer
meeting, recently, by announcing
that lie didn’t propose to aet as um¬
pire for a sleeping match.
(I
“Are you a Christian, young *
man?” asked a melancholly mission •
ary of a bystander whom he thought
might prove a hopeful case.
“Oh! dear no,” was the cheery
reply; ‘4i’m a choir singer.”
If thqv indulge in many more ter
lific tornadoes in the brisk and
breezy West Horace Greeiy’s fa¬
mous admonition will have to be
modified to “Go West, young man
and blow up with the country.”
“The doctor said he’d put me on
m.v feet again in two weeks.”
“Well, didn’t lie do it?” “He did,
indeed. 1 had to sell my horse and
buggy to foot his bill.”
According to tlie Sparta Ishmae
lite “the only way for Bacon to keep
from getting left is to come out for
Gordon.”
The clock for the Mijledgeville
court house has readied its destina¬
tion. It weighs 1,700 pounds.
Smith, the other day, while look¬
ing at the skeleton of a donkey, and
admiring and wondering at the
structure of that despised animal,
made a very maladroit quotation.
“Ah,” said he, “we are fearfully
and wonderfully made.”
“It is healthier to lie on the right
rather than the left side,” says an
astute health journal. Of course “left”
nobody wants to be on tbe
side, but a lawyer for instance, of¬
ten finds it healthy to lie on either
side.
South Georgia is doing as well as
could be expected. Gordon has car¬
ried Dooly, Lee, Mitchell and Screv¬
en in that section, while Bacon has
carried only Clinch and Liberty
since Gordon came out. And yet
the Gordon counties in south Geor¬
gia have hardly started.