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ON® BNJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently and yet promptly Bowels, cleanses on the Kidneys, the
Liver sys¬
tem effectually, fevers dispels and colds, habitual head¬
aches and cureb
constipation. remedy, of Syrup its kind of Figs is the
duced, only pleasing to the taste ever and pro¬
ac¬
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable qualities substances, its
many excellent commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy Figs known. is for sale in 50c
Syrup of
and SI bottles by all leading drug¬
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure wishes it promptly it. Do for any one wh»
to try not accept ar
substitute. *
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. Kr. VEIN YORK. N.V.
CAREFULLY CALCULATED.
5*1*. Gathered from Reliable Senrees and
Condensed for Hurried Readers.
Nashville, Ill., is to have electrlo lights.
Carthage, Mo., has a new paper devoted
to reform.
An Oregon hunter claims to have killed
100 elk during his lifetime.
Congressman William F. Wilson visited
Mr. Cievelaud at Lakewood, N. J,
The sword of Cortez will be among the
Mexican exhibits at the World’s Fair.
The amount of tobacco ohewed in the
Unit,ed. tons.' States last year was eighty-five
Texas has fifty-seven counties, each of
which is larger than the State of Rhode
Island.
Of the 69.000 Frenchmen who fonght
with Napoleon at Waterloo only eight
now survive.
More steamships have been started out
fromSa 1 Francisco to search for the miss¬
ing City of Pekiug.
The residence of ex-governor Steele, fami¬ at
Marion, bid., was burned hame. while the
ly \yere away from
Window glass men of the country have
formed a (50,000,000 combination and pri¬
ces will be advanced ten per cent.
New Orleans believes record—25.000 she has shipped
the largest cargo on halos
Of cotton on board the British ship Samoa.
There is a little town named Markneu
kirchen in Saxony where the nearly manufacture every in¬
habitant violins is engaged in
Of
A single mahogony tree in Honduras
puis Sold recently in the -European cut into boards, market, which, realized when
over $10,000.
New York city is to have ono of tho
largest public schools ever erected. Abou t
2,4(4) pupils will be accommodated in the
mammoth structure.
The Republican rivalry in the North
Dakota senatorial deadlock is 90 hitter
that it is very likely that a Democrat or
Populist will bs elected.
Daniel G. Barnes formerly a wealthy
citizen of Goddard, Kan., was killed by a
train in the Missouri Pacific yards at
Wichita, where lie was employed.
The through train service from New
York to Rockledge with Pullman cars has
been jiefo inaugurated. nearly twq The hundred first train reached
with passengers.
R. Adjutant General Charleston, Farley lias lieutenant oppointed
H. Pluckney, of
eomtoander of the naval battalion of
gouth Carolina, with instructions to
Organize the battalion at once.
Men cutting ice at Buxtqn, Me., in fqund
a half-blown water lily imbedded one
Of the cakes. It was thawed out, put in
a sunny window and soon bloomed July. out as
handsomely as any lily in
A flume designed for conveying lumber
--from the place of felling in the Sierra below
Nevada mountains to the plains On}. The
has P'ume been built in Frcso county.
is saill to qo 52 miles'in length.
At Nashville, Tenn., J. I,. Dismukes &
Co., wholesale hatters, filed a bill of a »r
algnment. The liabilities are .571,000: as
lets the nominally $76,000. About $50,01)0 of
assets are in notes and accounts. The
failure is due to inability to collect.
The number of languages is spoken estimated by
mankind at the Bible present time translated
at 3,000. The has been
fnto jlboun 200 two-thirds only, but of these the 200 whole are population spoken by
fit the globe.
probably The small lay town claim qf Grifton, divisions N. C., thafi can
small tq more
any Other pjace in the country.
The village is located, it is said, in two
Counties, three townships, two congress}:
On si districts, two senatorial districts
«nd two judicial districts.
in Electricity agricultural has been successfully applied Poly¬
technic institute operations of Alabama, at the white
a
motor has been at work for nearly a yeaf
past ley, threshing oats, wheat, rye and bar¬
cutting ensilege, grinding corn and
ginning and pressing cotton.
A traveler in the Trausvaal has met a
mysterious tlaimp, to he cbieftaingss, the one Majajie, Rider Hag-' who
Bard's “She, who original of obeyed.” Bh'e
is must strangely be decroplfc
and an evidently an ancient dam;-, Kaffir, she has
not a for a
trafisparently blue and long white snow-whits complexiod, hair. bright
eyes
. The following may appear incredible,
out nevertheless it is quite true. For
tears has been past held a Sunday school by telettripfi
niilroad. weekly on an American
glass questions’ The superintenden the wire asks different th*
stations, over at
la tiw Bible prayers are said, and' a 'chapter
read—all by wire.
Miss Ella Hale, a resident of Upper
panausky, o., The has had two occured remarkable ab7tjI
experiences. first one
pvb years ago, when she was siezscl by a
•everecoughing Wr voice and spell, causing hit One to lose day
jyveatjvivTiiie remain dumb.
Is claimed her in a violent fit of coughing,
voice returned.
Washington Rotes.
Indications point clearly to the defeat
•f the anti-option bill in th e hou3S.
Prizes are offered by the Smithsonian
Institute for essays on atmospheric air as
hearing on the health and welfare of mad.
Jeat .Genera Harrison 1 Glarkson’stiradeagainsfPresl- much talk snd ha¬
creates anti-admin
voc** much sympathy among
Ittmion Republicans.
Foreign Rote*.
Floods in Queensland have caused a
heavy loss of Ufa and property.
-John Irish Dillon in a speech advised until th*
to shelve the amnesty question
pome rule ha* been disposed of.
ISiHdrw Cry fge Pitcher 5 * Caft?ri%
Hale’s Weekly
VOL. 13.
THE LAUGHING MAN.
IF IN WALL STREET, IT MAY NOT
MEAN THAT HE FEELS SAFE.
A Typical Scene Xn One of the Well Known
“Bankers and Brokers" Offices With
Which the Money Center of the Metrop¬
olis Is Crowded—Currying Favor.
In the interval between the morning
and afternoon sessions of the Stock Ex¬
change the speculators and operators sat
In the broker’s office studying the ques¬
tions as they had been marked up on the
blackboard by a junior clerk. They spoke
but little. Some were making mental
calculations, some were building air
castles, a few were hugging themselves
with delight becau fortune was in their
favor, and others looked grim and en¬
deavored to conceal their chagrin and
regrets at losses by the operations of the
morning. Not a few were wrestling
with Bassanio’s problem, considering
whether another arrow would discover
that already lost. In gambling the hope
that another fling at fortune will bring
her down never fades. But those who
gamble daily recognize that such reason¬
ing is not sound, and where, as in Wall
street, all the investments are based upon
theorizing as to cause and effect, some¬
thing more than unreasoning faith in
fortune’s favor is necessary to open the
purse strings of its followers. These men
were veterans, and the gambler’s passion
was subordinated to cold calculations.
An old but gay and sprightly man
came upon the scene. He was the pro¬
prietor of the office, a big broker, widely
known and very popular. He was re¬
puted to be the possessor of great wealth.
Upon his favor depended the fortunes of
some of the men in the chairs. Should
he withdraw it at a critical moment they
might sink out of sight overwhelmed by
ruin, wrecks to be pointed out by the
curious in after days as some of the “has
beens” of Wall street. He addressed them
on the subject of gold shipments, argu¬
ing from his own view points as to their
effects upon the prosperity of the com¬
munity. He had tho manners and voice
of a stump speaker. He interlarded his
remarks with jokes and reminiscences
and talked volubly, A handsome gray
haired man, with smooth face and erect
figure, watched him and tho others close¬
ly. When the broker had finished and
disappeared into his private office, this
man said quietly to the friend, a visitor,
who sat beside him:
“I know now just about how all of
these men stand. Did yon observe them
while Jones was talking? Did you no
tice how some of them laughed loudly at
his jokes, while other.". smiled, and
still others remained impassive? Did yon
see how those who laughed loudest strove
to catch his eye, as though to say: ‘See
me; I appreciate your humor; I am im¬
pressed with your remarks. The others
here may not follow you, bnt I am all
ears.’ And the meaning of all that is
that they want to curry favor with him
and win his personal good will, so as to
hank against it should they need his
financial assistance.
“I always pay attention to the crowd
when he talks, for by observing them I
can tell how much margin each is trad¬
ing on. The man who laughs loudest
and is most obsequious is very close to
sinking, He fear a he may go under any
moment, and his laughter is a desperate
appeal to save him, It rings in my ear:
like the cry of the drowning wretch who
yells: ‘Save me! Save me!' 1 can al¬
most see him struggling (g (he waves
ap4 tearing his finger nails on which the glassy is
sides of the rocks against he
dashed in his attempts to pull himself
into safety. Every time that man roars
at one of Jones’ jokes, and holds his
sides as though they would split, I feet a
tlq-otj of sympathy for him, for I know
his case is very desperate. The man who
laughs moderately, looks knowing and
has a fairly contented expression has a
fair margin up and feels safe. But the
man who looks at Jones with an air of
indifference or has the courage to frown
upon him is the object of my deepest
envy. That man reposes on a financial
rock so high and solid that an earth¬
quake would recoil from it. And, de¬
pend upon it, every other (nan in this
place pnvies Win toq. If they (laved, shoulders they
wiJuld stroke his poat and rub
with him in the hope of gaining luck
“I will never forgot the sensation
oaused once by a man getting up here
and calling Jones loudly by his first
name. That ‘William’ still rings in my
ears. There was dead silence for fully a
minute after it had been uttered. Every
one of us expected to see the rash man
struck by a thunderbolt or consumed by
the withering scorn of Jones’ lightning
glance. I felt my blood congeal with
horror, add several of the pthers toldme
afferw a i4 fhpy (poked fpt some¬
thing awful, B*t Jones looked as sweet
as an angel, and we all could have wor¬
shiped the daring ono on the spot. He
received a dozen invitations to drink
within 10 minutes and was overwhelmed
with offers of cigars. liis margin, I after¬
ward discovered, was !Q per cent. There
is a report that another man called Jones
Bill some years ago, but l don’t believe
It. sider. If ahybody No ilid thaf, with ft was an out¬
customer a proper con¬
sideration of the possibilities of the fu¬
ture could so far forget himself, even
thciugb his immediate conditions ¥ofk Sun. yrere
most prosperous, n—Ne w
(Bleptrip pells In Churpfi.
Playgoers are familiar with the elec¬
tric bells which ring in all parts of the
house just before the curtain goes up
This useful device has been adopted at
Spurgeon's Tabernacle. Strangers are
kept waiting in the aisles until five min¬
utes before the service. By this time
the regular seat holders are supposed to
hiivfi taken their places, and the e|eptric
signal is made, followed immediately by
a general rush for the best seats that re¬
main vacant,—Yankee Blade.
Too Frank.
She—Maude? Oh, she’s one of the
friends of my youth. be old
He—I didn’t take her to as as
that.— Kate Field’s Washington.
CONYERS, GEORGIA SATURDAY FEB, 18 1893.
GIRLS WHOUSE SLANG
A CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO
COLLEGE GRADUATES.
Slang In the Months of Men Is Bail Enough,
but When Well Bred Young Women Are
Addicted to the Habit It Become* Abso¬
lutely Intolerable.
Dear girls, avoid slang. There are so
many reasons why you should not use
it, and only one excuse in its favor that
I have ever heard from any reliable au¬
thority! Here it is:
Oliver Wendell Holmes, in one of his
racy breakfast table talks, says: “Don't
think I undervalue the proper use and
application of a cant word or phrase. It
adds piquancy to conversation as a
mushroom does to a sauce.” That this
is the idea most young people have
when they first begin to use it all will
admit, but unfortunately it is like mod¬
erate drinking in its tendency, so insin¬
uating in its growth as a habit, and they
become so “addicted to it” (to follow
ont the simile), that it seems impossible
to make themselves intelligible without
it. I have heard young ladies (?) talk¬
ing who seemed to have an entire vo¬
cabulary composed of slang which
would be as utterly unintelligible to a
well bred English or Scotch girl as
Chinese or Greek.
To quote the veteran philosopher again:
“These expressions come to be algebraic
symbols of minds which have grown too
weak or indolent to discriminate. They
are the blank checks of intellectual
bankruptcy. You may fill them up with
whatever idea you like. It makes no dif¬
ference, for there are no funds in the
treasury upon which they are drawn.”
That of course is very severe, but 1
have often heard qnite clever and well
educated young ladies using those odious
“blank checks” to such an extent that
any one not knowing them intimately
might readily have supposed their “in¬
tellectual bank” empty.
I wonder what Dr. Holmes would have
thought of an actual conversation be¬
tween two young ladies in good society,
so called, who sat behind me in the grand
stand at a baseball match last summer.
I can give it almost verbatim:
“Say, Jen (abbreviated form of Jennie;
‘life is too short’ to use the whole of a
person’s name), who is the ‘fly’ looking
‘snide’ in the yellow striped ‘get up?’ ”
“Oh, ‘come off the roof!’ To pretend
you don’t know Cob. (C. O, B. are the
young gentleman’s initials wittily con¬
verted into ‘Cob. 1 ) After the way yon
‘\yent for’ him at the ball last week!
Yon can’t ‘stuff’ me with that kind of
gag, Miss Innocent.”
“Oh, is that Cob? He must be 'off liis
nut’ to ‘rig’ himself in such a ‘swagger’
way.”
“Oh, Jen, look at Cobnow! Ho is hor¬
ribly ‘rattled.’ Mabe (short for Mabel)
‘slung a glance’ at him, and he lost his
(lead as well as his base.”
“Is she ‘mashed’ on Cob?”
“Ha, ha! ‘Pull down your vest!’ Do
you think Mabe is ‘off her base?’ She likes
him ‘to trot her round’ and ‘stump up the
needful’ for ice cream, etc., but she likes
Alf Jones better ‘all the same-ee.’ You
caff ‘bet your sweet life’she won’t marry
Cob.”
“Look at him now. ‘You bet’ he’s ‘hus¬
tling!’ ”
“Get there, Eli!” “Ruddigore!” “That
was a ‘boss’ run!” and bo on ad finitum,
ad nausenm, All this in a perfectly audi¬
ble voice, and they were seemingly un¬
aware that there was any thing vulgar or
out of the usual in their conversation.
Probably there was not, and yet those two
young ladies were college graduates and
were possessed of wore than average abil¬
If you think this description exagger¬
ated, listen critically to the next un.
restrained conversation between two
young ladies whom you know to lie
guilty of using slang freely. I fancy I
hear you say, “But I never could talk
like that.” Take care! Just as confi¬
dent ones as you have begun by using a
few slang words—“they are *o cate and
expressive, you know!”—and ended by
forming a vulgar and enslaving habit
which took great strength of mind and
(big |*rseyerance to break, The worst
stage of a slang devotee is when she
grows utterly’ unconscious of or indif¬
ferent to the habit. There is very little
hope of improvement for her. The only
safe way is never to form the habit at
all.
Dear young girls, on you the “lan¬
guage of the future” in great measure
depends. You are the coming mothers
and teachers and will have an all pow¬
erful influence in molding the language
of the next generation to come and num¬
berless generations after that. See to it
that it is a language pf intelligence,
grapp Wives and purity,—Miss Daughters, Prank Davis in
The Value of a Good Add re**.
Young men should study to talk well
—to state their propositions with a clear¬
ness and force that will make their hear¬
ers feel that the speaker has reached the
gist of the matter, and that his opinion is
Of some weight. You will notice a man
opining filing intp the offioe. Thprp (s some:
in' his very appearance and the
way he carries himself that commands
Respect and attention. A canvasser for
a book came jnto my office only yester¬
day yvhq yvas a splendid illustration of
yt. I had no intention of buying his cy¬
clopedia. But he was well dressed and
intelligent. He seemed to understand
mv wants, and In five minutes we were
talking busily together. He sold me $120
worth of books.
I think that a good personal address is
something too little cultivated. 1 would
rather have it than a profession.—Inter¬
view in New York Press.
(he Bootblack!* Foii.a,
A gentleman, having had his boots
cleaned by a boy in a Dublin street, paid
the shoeblack with a considerable degree
of haughtiness, on which the little fel¬
low, when the other had got a short way
off. said:
“Arrah, now! all the polish yon ye.”— have
is on yonr boots, and I gave it to
Exchange.
SIR RICHARD OWEN'S GHOST STORY
It Was Fearfully Ilea! to t!ie Man Who Saw
the Severed Head Rolling In.
The late Sir Richard Owen used to re¬
late a remarkable ghost story. In his
early days, when he held the post of sur¬
geon to the prison at Lancaster, a negro
died in jail, and a postmortem as well as
an inquest was necessary. After the in¬
quest the young surgeon saw tho body
put in the coffin and the lid screwed
down, to be ready for the funeral nest
day. Owen had at the time been already
attracted to the study of comparative
anatomy, and negroes’ heads were not
plentiful, so he made up his mind that
this one should not be lost to the cause
of science. In the evening he returned
to the prison with a black bag contain¬
ing a brick—from his official position lie
had no difficulty in getting admittance
to the mortuary, where the coffin lid was
unscrewed and screwed down again.
During this process the brick and the
negro’s head changed places.
The ground outside the principal en¬
trance to the jail has a considerable de¬
scent, and the time being winter, with
snow and frost, Owen had scarcely passed
ont when he slipped and fell all his length
—the bag went from his hand, and the
head tumbled out and rolled down the
paved way. He got up, caught the bag,
and following tho head clutched it jnst
as it finished its career in a small
where tobacco was sold. Pushing it into
the bag again, he vanished out of tho
shop with all the speed he was capable of.
Next morning, when Owen was going
to his usual duties at the prison, ho was
called in by the woman at the shop where
the accident had occurred on the previous
evening. She wished him to see her hus¬
band, who was very ill. He had had, she
said, a fright the night before that caused
him to look wild and ilazedlike. The man,
it turned out, was a retired sea captain
who had been in many adventures among
the West India islands when many deeds
were done that did not at that time re¬
quire to be accounted for. Among these
had been the killing of a negro in which
he had a hand, and the transaction had
left a touch of trouble on liis conscience.
After giving these details the old captain
told of the horrible event that took place
the night before.
He was sitting in his shop. All was
quiet, and it so chanced that he had been
thinking of the negro, when suddenly ho
saw Iris very head roll into the shop in
front of the counter, and it was followed
by the devil all in black, with a black hag
in his hand. The devil snatched up the
head, and both disappeared through the
earth like a flash of lightning. The de
scrij)tion was perhaps not quite compli¬
mentary to the young anatomist, but it
was satisfactory so far that it showed that
his identity had not been recognized.—
London News.
Theodofi Hook’s Indigent Daughter*
“By a curious coincidence,” says an
English journal, “attention has been
called to the existence, in very poor cir¬
cumstances, of an aged daughter of
Theodore Hook, just at a time when a
proposal is on foot to commemorate the
brilliant humorist by a stained glass
window in tho porch of Fulham church,
in the pretty ‘God’s acre’ of which he
lies buried. Hook’s only surviving child
has, alas! fallen on evil days, and at up¬
ward of 70 years of ago finds herself in
sorely straightened circumstances.
“It is not, happily, our custom to allow
the children of those who have won
fame to suffer unaided the penalties of
unavoidable misfortune, and it may bo
taken for granted that the same spirit of
respect for a distinguished name which
has led to the collection of funds for tho
memorial window and for the restora¬
tion of the famous writer’s tomb w.ll
secure material help to his daughter in
her poverty and old age. So far as The¬
odore Hook himself is concerned, we
may he quite sure that no posthumous
honor that could be offered to him would
compare—could he but know of it—with
the timely aid which iB asked for his in¬
digent and almost friendless daughter.”
A ll a Mistake.
Last week three preachers mingled in
the crowd of people looking at the show
window of a largo clothing store. While
they were earnestly observing the dis¬
play a vigilant detective came to them
and laying his hand on the shoulder of
one of the ministers said:
“You must go with me.”
“Where?’ asked the clergyman.
“To the city hall,” replied the detect¬
ive as he displayed his badge. The
preacher declined to go, hut after think¬
ing over the matter remarked: “All
right, I will go. 1 suppose I will look es
well in the city hall as you will.” They
had not proceeded far before the detect¬
ive. felt that he had made a mistake. He
excused himself, and the minister walked
away, accompanied by his brother min¬
isters, who had come to his rescue. This
incident recalls the arrest as a suspected
felon of a well known newspaper man a
few years ago by a prominent detective,
who found the newspaper man sending
off a long telegram.—Louisville Courier
Journal.
How One Court Wa. Run,
Probably Judge Murphy's best hit was
made with a police court lawyer who en
deavored to secure the acquittal of a
prisoner by quoting an obscure
graph of an almost forgotten law. The
justice denied the appeal, saying,
court may hot know a great deal of law,
but it is well posted on all points of com
mon sense, and that is what this court is
run on.”—Brooklyn Eagle.
Ileauty, L’gllnes* and Ignorance.
The keenest race in Asia, as all who
know them assert, the strongest in char¬
acter, the Chinese, is decidedly the ngli
est of semicivilizod mankind, while the
Hindoo, it sufficiently fed, is even when
wignorant as an animal almost mvan
abl> hand s ° me ’ Mllhon ’
A Different Mskcnp.
mfnTto’bSIhathmi^T made ° P y °° r
Bro^Oh yes I’ve made up my
.....
Two M©tropolit-an Children.
It was on Third avenue the other day
that the face of a hoy not more than 0
years old, with a cigarette thrust be¬
tween the little lips, attracted the atten¬
tion of a woman who was passing. The
child’s puny, sickly appearance, for he
looked as if nothing more than ciga¬
rettes was needed to break his slender
hold on life, made the woman stop in
the hope that hero was an opportunity
for a word in season.
•‘Don't you know,” she began, “that
you'll never grow up to be a big, strong
man if you smoke those bad cigarettes?
You'll die, and you don't want to do
that, I know.”
“Naw, I won’t dio nuther,” said the
young smoker without taking out his
weed.
“What would your mother say if she
saw you?” was the next query.
“Oh, she lets me.”
A chubby little chap of 4, round
cheeked, a mere baby, stood at the
elder one's side during the talk. The
woman turned to him.
“Your little brother doesn’t smoko
cigarettes. You are setting him a bad
example.”
The younger boy smiled, but said
nothing.
“Naw, ho don't snioko cigarettes,”
spoke up the other one; “he smokes a
pipe.”
And the woman fled, abashed before
those two terrible infants.—New York
Violating l’arlor Car llules.
“1 have violated the rules laid down
by Mr. George M. Pullman over)’ time I
have ridden on a railroad train in tho
past two years,” said Mrs. Robert Ver¬
non of New York as she and her hus¬
band wero preparing to leave the parlors
of the Lindell for a walk tho other day.
“You know, I'd never think of traveling
without my little dog Nellie—named
after me, yon know—she’s such an affec¬
tionate little thing and worries so much
when 1 leave her behind me. Now, when
Bob goes on the road I frequently take
trips with him, and of conrso Nellie
comes too. The first trip we took her
with us we had to leave her in the bag¬
gage car, and in the morning tho poor
thing was nearly dead with fright. Then
I made up my mind I’d have her with
me or quit traveling.
“In Philadelphia I noticed women car¬
rying dark green cloth bags on the street
and fonnd that they were called ‘cabas,’
and they carried most everything in
them. Well, I mado one for Nellie, and
sho travels across tho country now in a
cabs. Pullman conductors think it's a
package of clothing or anything else
they like, for Nellie never moves. She is
perfectly content to know that I am
close by her and would rather keep
quiet than ride in tho baggage car. Oh,
don’t tell me that dogs don't know any¬
thing. You do, don't you, Nell?”—St.
Louis Globe-Democrat.
Wedding Cakew, New Style.
Who was the inventor of the new wed¬
ding cakes? Whoever he was I 10 de¬
serves immortalizing, for liis was a bril¬
liant idea, one I should have been ‘ ‘real
proud of’ myself had I thought of it. In
the wedding cake of more ancient type
thero was always a thick layer of whito
sugar which nobody cared about, a
medium layer of almond paste which
everybod y wished for and did not always
get, and an immense quantity of cake
of which many only ate a few crumbs.
Tho latest specimen has a thin layer
of sugar, only just enough to look pretty,
and underneath are alternate layers of
cake and almond paste, ono as thick as
the other.
The consequence is that no one is de¬
frauded of their lawful share of almond
paste or “love,” as it is usually called,
and for purposes of distribution it is far
better, as the contents of tho box do not
crumble away nearly so much as they did
when the principal portion was cake
alone. If only some one would invent a
box which conld not ho rifled and was
bound to reach its lawful destination,
we should have nothing left to desire.—
London Gentlewoman.
What to Bo.
When a young woman asks yon to
go with her to choose a pocketbook and
tells the clerk she wants one “so long,”
measuring a space of six or eight
inches with the first finger of each hand,
it is just as well not to express your
surprise that it isn’t to be a dainty, sil¬
ver mounted affair that accords with
her costuming, and when she chooses an
enormous seal leather affair with lots of
compartments for bills and checks and
numerous other such articles it is safe
to decide that “Charley” still lives In
Ler-memory as sho in his, and when she
talks about tho marking and takes the
pencil in a determined way and an¬
swers the salesmen’s remark about the
letters with a savage "I’ll write them,”
why, it’s time to turn yonr back and be
awfully Interested in something else.—
Buffalo News.
Public Diuner* a Bur©.
“Public dinners are becoming more
and more of a nuisance to professional
men,” said a distinguished lawyer of this
town somewhat iieevishly the other
night. “Now, why should an extremely
busy man like myself be asked , , to . devote ,
several hours of valuable time to the
preparation of an address on some im
portent topic for free delivery before an
association in which I have no particular
interest? Of course I have the privilege
of declining, but when two or three
warm personal friends urge me to com¬ have
ply on the ground of sociability, I
to accept or else appear surly. In con¬
sequence I give up time which I can
hardly spare from my clients, am kept
pp late at pight and go down to business
fe tack the of morning ind igestion. with a New headache Y ork or Times. an at-
Not .
De .Smith—Is Ponsonby a bigamist?
Travis-A bigamist! Well, I guess
n °p e Imith-Oh, y T ‘d^Low. \
thought 1 beard his wife telling some-
NO. 7.
Near to I>«?»tl».
The way the thing happened was this:
Our section had l>een lighting it alone in
a peach orchard until the other members
of the battery joined ns, when we moved
forward and had quite a brisk engage¬
ment with the enemy. Our ammunition
expended and our men worn out, we
halted at a spot in the woods to rest and
to replenish our ammunition.
The fighting was going on all around
ns, and stray bullets were coming along
past us every now and then. 1 don't be¬
lieve I was ever so tired in my life as 1
was after that engagement. It was ab¬
solutely necessary for me to take a rest,
and perceiving a huge tree near by I
concluded to plant myself along side of
it. So I leaned against it with my back
to the enemy's line, stretched out my
feet and was having a splendid Test when
a 12-pound shot caino bounding along
and struck tho tree plumb on the oppo¬
site side from me and at a point just be¬
hind my head.
Well, sir, I didn’t know what struck
me. The shock was tremendous. Great
Jerusalem! But didn’tl run from under
that tree, looking sideways up and ex¬
pecting momentarily to seo the- whole
enormous mass of wood and leaves como
crashing down on me. I didn’t know
what had happened tilllsaw some of tho
hoys dancing around in high delight,
clapping their hands and yelling at me. 1
felt for a week as if 1 had been struck on
the back of the head with a sledge ham¬
mer.—New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Tlio IXuuleur of KngliwH Servants.
I , get , on charmingly , . , with ... tho English .
nobility and sufficiently well with tho
gentry, but the upper servants stnko
terror to my soul. There is something
awe inspiring to mo about an English
butler, particularly one *11 imposing
livery. When I call upon Lady de Wolfe,
I say to myself impressively as 1 go up
the steps: “You are ns good as a butler,
os well bom and well bred as ft butler,
even more intelligent than a butler
Now, simply because ho lias an unap¬
proachable liantinoss of demeanor, which
yon can respectfully admire, bnt can
liever hope to imitate, do not cower be¬
neath the polar light of his eye; assert
yourself; be a woman; bo an American
eitizenl” All in vain.
Tbo moment the door opens I ask fnv
Lady do Wolfe in ho timid a tono that 1
know I’nrker thinks me the parlor maid’s
sister, who has rung the visitors’ bell by
mistake. If my lady is within, 1 follow
Pnrkor to the drawing room, my knees
shaking under mo at the prospect of
committing some solecism in his sight.
Lady de Wolfe's husband lias been no
bio only four months, and Parker of
course knows it and perhaps affects
even greater hauteur to divert tho atten¬
tion of the vulgar commoner from tho
newness of the title.—Kate D. Wiggiu
in Atlantic Monthly,
The Arrangement of I^ Ave*.
The general arrangement of the leaves
on limbs and stalks of trees and plants
secures between each sufficient space to
prevent one leaf from interfering with
another. And not only are leaves so ar¬
ranged as to exist independently of each
other, but in a general way they lmvo
taken upon themselves tbo forms best
adapted to secure tho maximum of sun¬
light as it is showered upon them in dif¬
ferent latitudes. At tho equator, where
tho sun’s rays are vertical, we find large
flat leaves, like those of tho banana,
plantain and tho various species of tho
cactus.
Farther north, where sunlight strikes
at an angle, small leaves and pino
“needles” aro found. Then, again Hole
tho peculiarity of tho Australian gum
tree—instead of exposing tlieir broad
faces to the sun the edges only are so
turned. Wero it otherwise tho sun
would rob them of all tlieir moisture, it
being a well known fact that tho gum
tree grows in tho driest region on earth.
—St. Louis Republic.
Nature Against Hint.
“Yon havo boon walking about thin
great city for six weeks and haven't
found work?” said the kind woman feel
ingly. seedy in the
“YesTn,” replied the man wedge
kitchen, his month closing over a
of pie. “That's right.”
“Yon aro willing to work, I dare say?”
“Willin, mum? I’d work my laigs of)
ef I could git a chance. Jest a lectio
more cream in tho cawfy. Thanky.” '
“And you would do any kind of hon
orable work, I presume?” line,
“Yes'm, anything that’s in my
I b'licve in every man stickin to his pro
tession,”
“May I ask what your profession is?”
“I’m a inventor, mum.”
“An inventor?”
“Yes’m,” said tho seedy man, reach¬
ing for a doughnut, “inventor of a ne v
process for curin sunstrokes.”—Chicago
>0 More Cobblers
There ‘s no sense In calling a shoe¬
maker of modem times a cobbler. Tim
nearest thing to a cobbler today is the
custom made man who confines his at¬
tention exclusively to that one branch.
Machinery for making shoes in great
quantities and in sections is of compara¬
tively recent date, and prior to its adop¬
tion the shoemaker, or cobbler, did tho
entire business, from taking the measure
to collecting the money. In small towns
and villages he literally performed the
entire process himself, having insufficient
trade to justify the employment of an
assistant, and in larger cities he snjienn
tended the work from beginning to end
himself. The labor saving wonders of
(he times have practically swept this
man out of tho field, and there are very
few members of the trade who are really
cobblers.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Bmhbmth .
once ft , lrnn kcn man met a
clergyman chasing his runaway dog on
Sunday. “Tammas,” said the breathless
clergyman, “I f-m sorry to see you in this
^ker^thgWvityand^id' is"rm,mng*way.” Tammas reganWlthc Whnstl^
►
0 1 I
i
w »
& a? J
JSf .4
SiHiSS’itSi
’A
< Itlfovil Blackman
A Boston Boy’s Eyesight
Saved Perhaps His Life
By Mood’s Sarsaparilla—Blood Poi¬
soned by Canker.
„ My S ea mile , d th0 boy follo had ' vln g from a grateful mother:
Scarlet Fever when 4 yers
ami it left hint very weak ami with blond
poisoned with canker, ills eyes V,ream,
so inflamed that his sufferings were intense, and
for seven weeks lie
Could Not Open His EyetS
I took Ulm twice doting tliat time to the Er«
anil l’.ar Infirmary on Charles street,but their
remedies failed to do liiin tho faintest shadow
ol good. I commenced giving him Hood's
Sarsapaiilla and it soon cured him I hira eve!
S'r'nl.'l.’-' ” r ll,nt ' life. il You may use eight, thistej.
“ syr c jp se 1 “
'
B
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
because of the wonderful good It did my son »
Amim F. Blackman, 2ssa Washington st,
Boston, Mass, Get HOOD'S,
___
HOOU'S PiLL8 are hand mftdo, null are ;—t.
feet in composition, proportion nn 1 appearance.
A H ippy Iic.U4u.40r*
Tho Frieslanders and tho people of th#
neighboring provinces are almost as dif¬
ferent from the dwellers between tho
mouth of the Maas and the Holder as wo
ourselves arc. They aro much taller anil
lnora stalwart, and their f toes have hard
^ of Uiat favc i ca U'ast which
sets one laughing at a plebeian Dutch¬
man of Rotterdam or Amsterdam. It is
fin awful charge to make against the
thoroughbred Dutchman, but truth
prompts mo to declare I 10 has no legs to
speak of, even as liis wffo has no waist
and liis daughter no ankles. Seated the
average Dutchman is not conspicuously
lilliputian, but when ho stands yon dis¬
cover that nat ure has played him a wick¬
ed trick in abbreviating 1 is thighs.
Of course she compensates him in
many other directions. She has made
him nearly us broad an ho is long anil
given him such a faculty of patienceand
long drawn industry in: insures him ns
much chance of liappin'ss as the most
energetic of tall men linn at liis disposal.
To the accomplished Dutchman it is sim¬
ply delightful to sit in a “treksohuitt,”
or a passenger canalboat, and travel 20
or 80 miles in this way at 2J miles nn
hour, with a landscape boforo bis eyes
that differs not in the least at t he end of
tlio 25 miles from what it was when ha
began the journey.
Bo lio may be allowed a box of tobacco
to masticate on tbo way, or lmlf a dozen
bad cigars to smoke; so lie may have a
penny glass of gin now and then when
the craving assails him, and l>o freed
from all obligation to be polite—lie is
what the greatest of men have not suc¬
ceeded in becoming—to wit, a contented
man.—Oliambers' Journal.
Hard to lluat Hilt Ho won.
“Waal, I’ll bo goldarneil. Hero X am
ag'in, boys, back to tho same old ranch,
skinned oh clean as a whistle, a-lookin
for some tenderfoot. Thar ain’t no use,
fellers, quittin the camp and goin round
to them nig towns n-gunnin for wickers.
’Tain't like it used to lie way Buck in tho
sixties, when tho hoys mosied 50 miles
afoot to get to town so as to beat tho
game.
“Yo cain't doit, hoys, I’ve benn a-play
in faro, poker anil seven up now for 20
year, an I ain’t yet como across the man
1 couldn’t givo two pair and beat Mm at
his own game. But, say, this ranch ain't
a marker to them bigbrowustonohopses
In York, wliar they sort o’ start the tin’,ng
ngoin by a feed that's fit for a king.
“Thar ain’t no pictures feller of actin gals his
on tho walls, an if a popped
gun I guess he’d havo to quit tho game.
Thar warn't a gun to bo seen in tho hull
place, and them fellers that come in thar
looked more liko Methodist preachers
than dead game sports. I bind 0 ’ lost
my balance, but says I to myself, ’tain’t
no time now to flunk or bo bluffed. So
i joins in tho game. Weil, say, afore
y 0 u puts your money down she's gone,
aI1( y, 10 ono sa y s B word. Afor’o 10 min
utes 1 liain’t got a cussed cent. Ye
ca j n q, 'em boys, and I'll bet a dozen
filuo chips to a chaw er terbacey if Big
fjjjl Bowen of Hell’s Gap can’t beat tho
g ame fi,;,,- ain’t no one wot kin,
“Them fellers wot como out hero from
New York and llaws’n a-lookin for big
stakes must tie pretty goldarneil slow,
f( . r [ mo t 0 „ 0 of ’em yet wot could
beat Bill Bowen in his own ranch.”—
jy L , w York Herald.
Is Ilisnmrck a Unite?
It was told Bismarck that among tho
French prisoners taken at Lo Bourget
were a number of Francs-tireurs—by
the way, they were tho volunteers de la
Presse an<l wore a uniform. “That they
should ever take Francs-tireurs prison¬
ers!” roared Bismarck in disgust. “They
ought to have shot them down by files!”
Again, when it was reported that Gari¬
baldi, with his 13,<MX> “freecompanions,”
had 1**11 taken prisoners, the chancellor
exclaimed: “Thirteen thousand Frenchmen, Francs
tireurs, who are not even
made prisoners! Why on earth were
they not shot?” .
And when resist¬
x-hetz, having experienced of some the
ance from the inhabitants open
town of Tours, had shelled it into sub¬
mission, Bismarck waxed wroth because
the general had ceased firing when the
white flag went up. “1 would have
gone on,” said he, “throwing shells into
the town till they sent me out 400 has
i in tfpite of his
The simple truth is that,
long pedigree and good blood, Bismarck
i« not fjuito a gentleman in our sense of
the word, ar.d as this accounts for his fe¬
rocious bluster and truculent blood¬
thirsty utterances when he was in power
in the wartime? so it is the keynote to
his present undignified attitude and
bowls of querulous impatience of his
present situation.—Arcliibald Forbes m
May’s Annual.