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VOLUME Y.
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« AI L AT THE
railroad restaurant.
'Under the Car Shed,)
ATLANTA, GA.
! Where all the delicacies of the season
ill be furnisqed in the best of style and
s cheap as any establishment in the city
//"Meals furnished at allhours of the
bALLARD & DUltAND. un.ej.20
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.
The late John Magee, Jr., of Wat
lllh N. Y., has left by will $50,000 for
j| i rection of five Episcopal churches
11 New York, Pennsylvania and Vir
'in in,
j A school-girl of Skowhegan, Me.,
■cfimvas ia-c uTiipped for not telling vhafc
followed a transitive verb or p'epo
•iiion, brought suit against her perse
tor and was awarded $800 damages.
Boston Post.
^’iv.shvtcrian Dr. John Hemphill, of the Calvary
Church of San Francisco,
(Kndeuvor organized a church, Society of feature Christian
in the one of
fwhieh is a look-out committee to find
Mil new comers in the church.
There are at present nearly four hun¬
dred female physicians in active prac¬
tice in twenty-six of the United States,
[the New majority of them being settled in
York, Massachusetts and Penn¬
sylvania. increase in These the ligures show a rapid
number of women prac*
it icing medicine in the United States.
i» tn is a'-,, deiirierit in pupils. In one
jt"" vlSiT T ilu re are Therels districts 8 'a°dUtUet where the
tAii. near
n in where orty years ago the aver
Fage attendance was fifty; now it is but
f ten .—Boston Transcript.
die dancer ]»ut down on the bills
Add:e \\ as
cents was his wife. 8he had
nn'r; 1 ' 1 ' ° ni<! !° tlie cit y f rom Rich
m°"«l tn to visit ■ relatives, and had
hint oil d never
ballet. ; Uc any inclination toward the
flirt hns and forced his way
J ,,,; to 1 j"e stage bie door and would have
j ,u 1 die si scene to drag the wo
, v -,i I'drawn l h age manager had not
H'kiuv.-Ay C r b. quietly Sun in the middle of
the recent convention of the
Shio ,l Si y mano the Ass following * c 'ation, resolution held at
win' oi' l i r'*, l ' bi^do^oted LSolr . e<1 ’ That 1 it the* is the
r:u ' h 'lay slmuM to in
■ :'' Ur| ion of the children of the country
? on ufl /'J". U laiu * education; s °bools, in also the that direc
^iiblvii 1 our
t ^ I' I h'/i'nV ' 1 1 bctoiv their charges, to the
nut and 'i' 0 " 11 i' U " Pfy l * 1 and * merc l IU y ^
toenoe. *
, ''resident Eliot, of Harvard, has
, b I!' ''rC'S’dents
ivE | / 1 ' a•' ,0l 'hi<l of other their colleges
buse-bp ij'Uovidod' HarS college
? he' Te'ad’
t a k es t
koniu|;^: been i ;:‘i V F '“'tJ'’ l . amrniative 11 0 * 1 Hi 1 ' 1 answers n ,°t et
2;, heard from ZJSTtr&SSSl , J /
in'! 1 '‘| S ‘ |' w .'sh to within restrain muscle-mak”
an'l j n:ii ’ “y'contaetwHh S proper limits,
a'T; bo,b"° °! her lu men who
ot the 0( cation than that
u \.—Haven Register..
Meteorological Item.
•torni^rh!^ • bt , CD previous, a heay y and thunder the
school-t eacher k asked little Johnny:
“IV ere you not frightened.
the uuuler and lightning, .Johnny,
eight?” last
3" ir « not a bit.”
goof Hui/ I e. ht - >°hnny. You are a
snow whr,* Sllni lay-scbool boy. You
Johu nv p„ 0:Ulses the storm, don’t you,
"Yq,’ S! r ’ n,v grandfather.”
% thun Ctff nd!a,her! ; lt .y° Why, God makes Johnny, the I
unier ;l -
, . ’Shining
“May ^ and the storm.”
>To rtn Vu* S<> ’ ^ uc ^he day before the
'aid >J h e f felt 11 P’ niy old gr p
% ( it in his bones. - — Texas*
wdl of the late Horatio J.
OOi is h* Auburn > N. Y r ., about $23,
‘foathed to the Theological
rested 'hat city. It is to be in-
8c hol j,-' tae interest divided into
i P ? of ^ :1 °0
Port o'«*. 8tl Wents each for the sup
• of the seminary.
ex ’ erVinl'Ti' a y grower f prtunate in England in who is
prizes a! f x , tbitions, . capturing
tiv e-iiuK places a piece of
each'pSJt? . 1
0Ve '- ® a l00t ° r S ° l0Dg
it up as a chosen row, draws
le a lv 7 ..always '"['h advances, just out so the that top, the
v. 11 . at
1 mg wet, and by this method
,
blemish. hu.Tcta Ranched. and secures bunches
Soun d and
% • wmmt >* ga
rpt 1 he Conyers H xamrner. /
NEWS GLEANINGS,
Four negro colleges flourish in Atl an
ta.
Talbot was the only county in Geor
®* a ^at held a fair this year.
A stock company has been organized
at Birmingham, Ala., to build a cotton
factory.
The new directory for Knoxville,
Tenn., places the population of that
city at 17,151.
M. W. Harris, of Perry Ga has some
Egyptian ,
cotton growing on his place
which is ten feet high.
A lot of Confederate bonds, amounting
to $145,600, was sold recently at Charles¬
ton, C., for $12 50 per thousand.
Columbus, one of the most progress¬
ive cities in Georgia, is moving to build
a thorough system of street railway.
George Crane, who murdered his wife
in Daugherty county, Ga., has been sen¬
tenced to life imprisonment in the p en
itentiary.
Ihe Selma (Ala.) Times says $15,000
has been squandered by Selma people
in matrimonial insurance companies, all
of which has been lost.
At Tirzah church, York county, S.C.
Felix Jones and Charles Starr fought
over a woman and Jones was killed.
Starr, who is hut eighteen years old,
escaped.
A meteor fell at Mt. Airy, N. C., re
cently, burying itself several feet in the
earth. The mass greatly resembled iron
ore, and weighed several hundred
pounds.
A North Carolina exchange says the
Liberia fever has broken out strongly
among the negroes of that State, and a
large number are anxious to emigrate to
that country.
Two years ago so little dried fruit was
shipped from Tennessee that it was
scarce worthy of note. The business has
now grown, however, to be one of the
most important in the State.
Near Luray, Va., recently, an eagle
whose body was snow white and wings
jet black, was killed. From tip to tip
of its wings it measured six feet seven
inches, and weighed twenty pounds.
through solid rock, without getting a
flow of water. Many fine specimens of
fo8sil sea stells are flight up from the
bottom.
Thomaston, Ga., is overrun"with rats,
and it is said the rodents have become a
p f rf ! c k pl T gue ’ ln *• C 0 U T try
about the farmers are loosing heavily by
the pests, and can find no way to pro
tect their grain or kill of! the raiders.
G. W. Hobbs, of Sampson county, N.
C., recently exhibited a very fine sam¬
ple of watermelon brandy. Its flavor is
good, it is clear as crystal, and has none
of the disagreeable smell of ordinary
brandies and whiskies, but has an odor
like that of bay rum.
The cotton planters of Mississippi are
condemning the Cotton Seed Associa
tionS ° f Memphi8 ’ New 0rleans and
ot ^ er P^oes, because they have divided
territory and fixed rates for seed. They
think the price of seed should be gov
—<> f *«*••
The suit brought by the heirs of An
drew Johnson to recover 160 acres of
land in the most valuable portion of the
Fifth Ward, in Chattanooga, Tenn., has
been settled by a decision in favor of
the present holders of the property. The
amount involved was about $ 2 °0,000.
The Jackson (Miss.) Clarion says: A
wealthy English syndicate last year pi ur
<*»** 706 ' 000 o’ land iu the Ya -
zoo delta and they are now examining
600,000 acres of pine land with a view
*° P urchase ' The 8ame have
bought 3,000,000 acres of grazing land
in Texas.
The French Government has sent an
expedition to Florida to observe, from
the classic battlements of old Fort San
Marco, at St, Augustine, the transit of
Venus November 6. The expedition
carry with them scientific apparatus
weighing 30,000 pounds. They have ar¬
rived at St. Augustine.
Nashville American ; The grand jury
yesterday found eight indictments for
murder in the first degree and assault
with intent to commit murder. All
these cases were of recent occurance.
The large number of murders, attempted
murders and other sanguinary affairs
which have occurred here are giving
the capital city an unenviable prom
inece.
One of the most brutal crimes ever
committed is reported from Danvillet
Va., A little negro boy, aged eigh,
years, had a silver dollar, which Dave
Mills, a colored man, coveted. The boy
refused ta give it up, and Mills, in or¬
der to coerce him into compliance with
his demand, caught him and held him
over the escape pipe of a steam engine
un til the little fellow was nearly cooked.
Mills has been arrested.
A few days ago, says the Gainesville
(Ga.) Southron, Mrs. Martin and four
children undertook to cross the Chatta¬
hoochee at Faulkner’s ford to the left of
ERROR CEASES TO BE DANGEROUS WHILE TRUTH IS LEFT FREE TO COMBAT IT.”
CONYERS, GA., FRIDAY NOVEMBER IT, 1882,
Belton. A little boy had charge of the
boat, and it becoming unmanageable
the little fellow jumped out. At this
Mrs. Martin became frightened, and her
little child fell overboard. She jumped
out to save it. Both were drowned. An¬
other little girl went overboad and was
drowned. Two others saved their lives
by clinging to iimbs and rocks The
bodies were all recovered as soon as the
people in the neighborhood cohid get to
the scene. The water was not over four
feet deep where the victims met their
death.
A somewhat singular case, and one
whose decision will be looked forward
to with interest, was argued before the
Supreme Court at Raleigh, hi. C., a day
or two ago. One Scott had been sued
at the spring term, 1878, of the Superior
Court of Wake county, but he died
about a month later. His death was
never suggested to the court, and in
1879 judgment was taken against him,
no administrator having been appointed.
It would appear to any one not up in
law that such a judgment would be
void, but strange as it may appear,
the question is a doubtful one and
is being contested, one side claiming
that it is worthless and the other
that it is binding on the estate.
The Virtues of Coffee.
The action of coffee is directed chiefly
to the nervous system, qt produces a
warming, cordial impression on the
stomach, quickly followed by a diffused,
agreeable and nervous excitement,which
extends itself to the cerebral functions,
giving ation rise to inci'eased vigor of imagin¬
and intellect, without any subse¬
quent confusion or stupor, such as are
characteristic of narcotics. Coffee con¬
tains essential principles of nutrition far
exceeding in importance its exhilarating
properties, and is one of the most desir¬
able articles for sustaining the system in
certain prostrating diseases. As com
pared with the nutrition to be derived
from the best of soups, coffee has de¬
cidedly the advantage, and is to be pre¬
ferred in many instances. The medicinal
effects of coffee are very great, ln in¬
termittent fever it has been used by em
’nent physicians with the happiest ef¬
fects in euttiug short the attack, and if
properly managed is better in many
eases than the sulphate of quinine. In
that low state of intermittent, as found
on the banks of the Mississippi River
and other malarial districts, accompa
nied with enlarged spleen and torpid
liver, when judiciously administered it
is one of the surest remedies. In yellow
fever it has been used by physicians,
and with some it is their main reliance
aft6r other necessary remedies have been
administered; it retains tissue change,
and thus becomes a conservator of force
in that state in which the nervous sys¬
tem tends to collapse, because the blood
has become impure; it sustains the
nervous power until the depuration and
reorganization plished, of the blood are accom¬
and has the advantoge over
other stimulants in inducing no injuri¬
ous secondary effects. In spasmodic
asthma its utility is well established, as
in whooping cough, stupor, lethargy
and such troubles. In hysterical at¬
tacks, for which in many cases a physi¬
cian can form no diagnosis, coffee is a
great Coffee help.
is opposed to malaria, to all
noxious vapors. As a disinfectant it has
wonderful powers. As an instantaneous
deodorizer it has no equal for the sick¬
room, as all exhalations are immedi¬
ately neutralized by simply passing a
chafing-dish with burning coffee grains
through the room. It may be urged that
an article possessing such powers and
capacity for such energetic action must
be injurious as an ai'ticle of diet of ha¬
bitual emplojnnont, and not without
deleterious properties; but no corre¬
sponding been observed nervous disarrangements have
after its effects have dis¬
appeared, as are seen in narcotics and
other stimulants. The action imparted
to the nerves is natural and healthy.
Habitual coffee drinkers generally en
joy good health. Some of the oldest
people infancy have without used feeling coffee from depressing earliest
anv
reaction, such as is produced by alcoholic
stimulants .—Philadelphia Times.
The “Milch-Cow Racket.”
yards During yesterday his wanderings through the
the reporter stumbled
onto another little scheme which it was
thought was exterminated a few months
ago, but while there are “suckers” in
the world scalpers and other not over
scrupulous persons will always do a
racket” “rushing business.” the The “milch-cow
is term used by those who
are posted, and from the profits derived
therefrom the racket is a profitable one.
Milch cows are always in demand, and
the prices obtained approximate sixty
dollars. When the demand exceeds
the supply the “scalper,” in order to
“accommodate” the customer, goes to
some called remote pen and purchases''a cow
days a “stripper”—that is, one whose
of usefulness as a milker are over.
A calf a few days old is then purchased
for a few dollars and tied in a pen
along its with the cow, which is supposed
to be mother. The customer soon
makes his appearance and a trade is e)
fected—the purchaser takes the bogus
cow and calf and the accommodating
“scalper” the sixty dollars. The trick
is soon found out, and the buyer makes
a strenuous complaint, but there is no
remedy, and he has lo accept the in¬
evitable. The trick was practised yes¬
terday, and came to the surface shoitly
afterwards. The buyer on this occasion
made an unusually strong break, which
was subsequently settled by a com¬
promise. —Chicago Tribune.
—For a good lemon-cream cake use
one cup of butter, one and a-half cups of
sugar, two and a-half cups of four, two
tablespoonfuls of baking-powder, one
half cup of milk, and three eggs. Bake
in layers and make a cream of the juice
of two lemons, two-thirds of a cup of
sugar, one cup of butter, two table¬
spoonfuls of flour, and one egg.—
Chicago News.
^
TOPICS OF THE DAY,
A telephone, has been run into a
church in Olean, N. T.
Lieut. Thacrara has resigned from
the United States navy.
——- a fce-W--
Minister Hannibal Hamlin will p a - s
the winter at Bangor, Me.
The revision of the Old Testament
will be completed in a few months.
Daniel Sealis, of Cleveland, is said
to be the wealthiest colored man in
America.
The new directory for Knoxville,
Tenn., places the population of that city
at 17,151
_
Any Roman Catholic who can prove
that the Apostle Peter had no wife, can
obtain a $5,000 prize offered in Scot¬
land.
It is asserted that iu the three years
ending 1880, there were no fewer than
252 theaters destroyed by fire, or partly
so, resulting in 4,370 deaths, and about
3,400 injuries.
General Brady, of Star-route noto¬
riety, is said to have lost $75,000 in op¬
erating his Canadian lumber mills,
which he is now trying to dispose of to
avoid further loss.
One of the benevolent New Yorkers
who helped introduce the English spar¬
rows here, has had to remove every
bracket from bis house and go to an ex¬
pense of $100 for painting.
A new underground railway is pro¬
posed for Paris, to cost about $30,000,
000. The central station is to be at the
Palace de la Bourse. In all, the lines
will be twenty-four miles.
Miss Gabrielle Greeley nas begun
making improvements on the Greeley
swamp at Chappaqua, and has given a
plot of ground to the Episcopal Society
of that village on which to erect a
chapel.
In the high school of Dedham, Mass¬
achusetts, the experiment is being made
of using daily newspapers instead of
text-books in the reading class. The
Principal thinks that the plan is suc
cessful.
A book has just been issued in Ver¬
mont entitled “The Resurrection of
Christ from a Lawyer’s Standpoint.” It
is an investigation according to the laws
of evidence, and it ends with a full ac¬
ceptance of the resurrection of Christ as
an historical fact.
The Hon. Levi P. Morton, is giving
laudable attention to the interests of th e
American colony in Paris. He has re¬
cently been chosen as a warden of the
American Episcopal Church in that city,
and has become a patron or the “Paris,
British and American Schools.”
Jay Gould stopped at Rochester re¬
cently on his return from the West. On
alighting from a car at the new depot,
he stepped on a sidetrack in front of a
moving locomotive, and would have been
run over but for the outcries Of those
standing near.
Professor Reese, an astronomer, de¬
nies that the comet of 1882 is identical
frith the comet of 1843 and 1880. From
data given after observation of its orbit,
he says it will not return to our system
in less than four thousand years. It is
not necessary, therefore, to lie awake al
night dreading a catastrophe.
Richard Wagner has sold the copy¬
right of all his musical productions to
Schott, the Mayence publisher, the con¬
sideration of the agreement being the
yearly payment to the composer of 150,
000 marks (about $35,000). This an¬
nuity is also to be paid to Wagner’s
heirs for thirty years after his death.
And still it is thonght the publisher has
made a profitable contract.
Drunkards are suffering in the rural
counties of Wisconsin, where the local
option law of the State enable the total
abstinence people to vote down the pub¬
lic sale of intoxicants. Heretofore the
traffic has been continued out of sight,
but now the railroad companies have
prohibited their employes from taking
liquor as freight, and the dealers can
therefore obtain only very limited sup¬
plies. _
_ _
Confederate bonds still have some
value in the South. A large quantity oi
them belonging to the estate of Jacob
Barret, of Charleston, South Carolina,
were sold recently at auction. The
whole lot, $149,600, was bought by Ed¬
ward Moreland at $12.50 per $1,000.
The bidding, which started at $10 pei
$1,000, was quite spirited. $6,450 ol
Confederate bank bills were also sold at
$10 for the lot.
Gutteau’s skeleton is not yet articu¬
lated. It is ready for wiring with the
exception of the thigh bones, which are
not yet sufficiently bleached, They are
submerged iu an ether bath where they
will remain for some weeks before the
process of preparation is completed. It
is not likely that when articulated the
skeleton will be placed on public exhi¬
bition. It will probably be consigned
to repose among other ghastly relics of
I th* Medical Museum, upon which the
e ye ol an outsider is never allowed io
rest.
The harvests of 1882, with few excep¬
tions, resulted favorably, and there is
immense wealth Crop in failures the granaries of the
country. were appre¬
hended, but not realized. The autumn,
tod, has been most favorable to the ma¬
turing corn, find that which the usual
frost might have destroyed was saved by
the prolongation of fine weather. But
in the face of the great wealth which
lies back in the country in the hands ol
the The agricultural classes, business is dull.
boom that was expected to follow
the assurance of good harvests has not
been experienced, and merchants In the
country and in the cities are complain¬
ing of slow sales and slower collections.
Enough is already known of the radi¬
cal movement in France to justify great
uneasiness. The conspirators, who are
mostly young men in cities and manu¬
facturing villages, are united in close
organizations, which long escaped obser¬
vation by passing for trade unions. In¬
cendiary papers and tracts are sedulous¬
ly distributed, and as each group or fed¬
eration of alliances has its distinctive
name, the existence of a national league
was not so apparent. A central com¬
mittee, composed of one delegate from
each federation, has been meeting
monthly at Geneva. There are evidences
not only that the objects of the conspir¬
ators are akin to those of the Russian
Nihilists, but that one, at least, of the
champions of the latter, Prince Krapat
kine, is an associate of the French plot¬
ters. The federations of Paris and vi¬
cinity are known to have more than
1,200 members, while Lyons is another
stronghold.
A Pelisse Item.
“Jeptha!” said Mrs. Jones, dressmaker as she
was writing mouth a note full to of her stub
with her pens and
eraser, “how do you spell police?”
Mr. Jones started and nearly dropped
the paper he was reading.
“What’s the matter now, Maria?
Clothes-line stolen again?”
of “ Mercy, this no. I don’t mean that kind
like police: dress.” is a garment something
a
“ Oh,” said Jones, in a relieved voice,
“well I never heard of but one way of
spelling es.” the answered word p-o-l-i-c-e.”
“ Y Mrs. J., thought¬
fully, “that’s the way I have spelled it,
but there seems to be several meanings
for the same word.”
“Easiest thing in the world,” mum¬
bled Jones, with one eye on his paper,
“it means comfort, protection, etc.”
“Does it,” asked his wife, innocent¬
ly; “well I never heard of the police
1 comforting thought or protecting any body yet
it was their mission to assault
people—there—she ly. continued, placid¬
“I’ll send that note off this mo¬
ment; I hope Madame Bias will he at
home.”
She was: and she nearly fainted when
she opened Mrs. J.’s note and read:
“ I shall send the police to-day—be
prepared.” “It’s the pieces!”
she gasped when
she came to, “a few miserable paltry
silk pieces that I kept out of her last
dress—saved in the cutting! Well if she
ain’t the meanest! Run, Katy, and get
them out of the trunk up-stairs—the
plush is made into a hat—she won’t get
that. Good heavens! what a hard time
an honest woman has to get a livin’ in
this world!”
It was Mrs. Jones’ turn to be aston¬
ished, when in reply to her note she re¬
ceived the following:
“ deer Mis Jones
Herewith I sen you all, and
every peace in mi possestion an i haf no more
so off help me hi neving! You will Plese to call
the Po Lice wich would dispraise me ior
ever Yure tru friend
Mary Jane Bass.
Then Mrs. Jones hunted up a maga¬
zine des modes and found that police
was spelled in this connection pelisse,
and she said it all came of her being
married to a man who couldn’t spell;
but Jofies lakes a sly revenge by re¬
ferring to his wife as “ a distinguished
ms in her of the Pelisse force !”—Detroit
Post and 'Tribune.
Costumes.
A Russian General, who now holds a
very East, important command in the far
six complained, when some five or
years ago, he visited London, that it
v as impossible to understand on what
principle selves. the English dressed them¬
A few male friends had invited
him to dinner; and on appearing among
them he found hirnself the only one of
the party who wore a frock coat. The
next morning he was to breakfast with
a few more friends; and, determined
this time to be on the safe side, he pre¬
sented himself in a dress suit. We have
met with a novel in which one of the
principal incidents was the refusal of a
check-taker at the Royal Italian Opera
to admit a distinguished foreigner who,
with the regulation evening coat, wore
a pair of light-colored like trousers such
as, iii a connection, wxmld
be accepted on the Continent (at
least in summer) as quite appro¬
priate to a festive occasion. The only
approach, indeed, to a despotism of
taste that now exists in England is the
authority exercised in the matter of
tolerate costume by our operatic officials, who
In ordinary nothing but black and white,
life people will doubtless
continue to dress as they may think fit,
without heeding the remonstrances and
appeals addressed to them by those who
have studied the subject, and who have
at once better information and better
perceptions than the general mass of
mankind. But what may be permitted
to ordinary individuals can not be tol
erated on the part of painters, sculptors
and stage managers. Smith, Jones and
Drown live, dress absurdly, die, and are
forgotten. But the men whose lot it is
to in luence the public mind have heavier
lesponsibilities: li'es and the evil they do
a ter them .—London Standard.
—On a small island near Fiji a -
material is found which on ex *<»-"•
hardens and looks much like fire to iu..
u ite Mtfrtuis Nil Nisi Bonum,”
Why should we “ say nothing but
silly good of and the absurd dead?” Of all the ignorant,
maxims ever nmnu
factured that ofld is the worst. Espe¬
cially is it to be deprecated because it is
apparently prompted by a kind, forgiv¬
ing and generous spirit, and is, there¬
fore, calculated to appeal to the inn«>
cent, the unthinking and the generous
iniiided. We will bet a ducat that the
man Who built that maxim was some
mean, smail-souled scoundrel who was
guilty of rascalities that he Wanted cov¬
ered up when he died.
We believe in throwing the mantle of
charity dies over the dead, and when a man
we do not believe in publishing to the
World all the frailties and eccentricities
of his character that resulted in placing
him, during life, in jail or the Legisla¬
ture. We do not believe that all lead¬
ing citizens after they die play on even
electro-plated derstand harps, and we cannot un¬
that there is any sense in ex¬
they pecting believe public journalists to pretend
the deceased was a man of
all-wool virtues, entitling him to a glo¬
glow, rious immortality where beyond the sunset
his creditors will cease
From troubling and the weary tax col¬
lector will not break through and steal.
When some insignificant Alderman
dies, why should established custom de¬
mand that the editor of the local paper
should array himself in sackcloth ami a
gum coat and write a gorgeous obituary,
in which he tries to show that the ab¬
sence of the deceased will leave the world
lop-sided, while he knows that he does
not believe what he says, and that the
readers do not believe it, and even the
deceased would not believe it. and
would blush to see it in type.
We can understand that it is a seemly
thing ing for the living to refrain from rak¬
up old grievances regarding the
dead, and letting bygones be bygones;
but it is entirely beyond our compre¬
hension why the living should pretend
to see virtues in the dead that they
know the dead never possessed or had a
soul large enough to appreciate. It is
true, however, that
** Custom does often reason overrule
And only serves for reason to the fool.”
We recall a circumstance that goes to
prove what a hollow sham obituaries
usually are. In the office of the Daily
Argus one night there was brought in
news of the death of a local Justice of
the Peace, named Schumerhoff. The
managing the editor told the local editor send- to
“give remains a gilt-edged
off.” The local editor was a compara¬
tive stranger in the town and had never
heard of the deceased before. He
sharpened his pencil and began:
of “ it is esteemed our painful duty to Judge record Carl (he death
our townsman. Schu¬
merhoff. He died this evening at seven
o’clock, after a brief but fortitude.” painful illness,
which he bore with Christian
Then he turned to the night-dispatch
editor and said: “ What kind of an old
landmark was Schumerhoff?”
“Old Schumerhoff! why he was a
common, hard-fisted Dutchman; made
money by parsimonious economy and
usury—a regular money-lending, Shy lock; two- here
per-cent. a month came
from Germany years ago. There are
lots of people won’t he bowed down
with grief when they hear continued he is gone.” the
Then the local editor
obituary—
“Judge Schumerhoff came from the Father
land xvhen he was quite young. Although of
an old and prominent family in Germany he
was poor, but by energv and enterprise, com¬
bined with a liberal, handsome progressive policy in busi¬ It
ness, he amassed a competence.
can truly be said of him that no was the
architect of his own fortune. Such men are
scarce in these days, and the Judge’s place in
society and business c rcies will not be easily
filled. His death has cast a gloom over the
entire community.”
“Had he a family?” his
“Yes, and he used to bang wife
around and pound her black and blue
until dwell she got'a that divorce, point, but know, you need for
not on you
he was a prominent citizen and well
connected.”
“The deceased was an exellent husband, »
fond father and—”
“How did you say his morals were?”
“Morals 3 he didn’t have any. He was
a regular old rip.” member of society.”
“a useful and exemplary politically?”
“ How was he
“ Well, he used to be a red-hot Know
nothing, but lately he was a Green
backer.”
“Although xve have been obliged to differ
with him politically, yet xve cannot let this oj>
portunitv pass without paying a j ist tribute
to h s sincerity. He xvas a man of simplicity
of character and liberal ways in political
matters.”
“Did he ever hold any office?”
“No; never was He anything but a Jus¬
tice of the Peace. anything, was too although unpopular
to be elected to he
was always running for something.”
“And his many excellent qualities of head
and heart endeared him to all who knew him.
His modest and unassuming manner prevented
him from taking that active part in politics, or
receiving the rewards of office, that his merits
and ability deserved,”
“Say, you might hint, in that obit¬
uary, that old Schumerhoff is having a
warm reception if lie has gone to where
he deserves.”
“ While alt that is mortal of Judge S. lies in
the cold embrace of death, at his immortality late residence, in
the immortal has gone to put awaits on him the
a better land, where there r^
wards of an upright man, a just Judge, and a
Christian citizen. After life’s fitful fever he
sleeps well.”
And then old Schumerhoff had a
pompous funeral, a gilded in keeping monument with
and a lying epitaph, the Argus all published.—
the obituary
Texas Siftings.
—A man and woman lived together
as man and wife for nine years. At the
expiration of that period that the man
claimed to have discovered the wo
offset man had this another the husband professed living. have To
woman to
discovered that the husband had anoth
er wife still in existence. Then it was
ascertained that the first—or second—
husband of the wife had in the interval
married again. Then it was attempted
to be proved that the first—or second
wife of the original husband had died,
and at last the much muddled suit was
dropped by mutual consent.— N. Y
Herald.
—Those foot-prints in the sandstone
at Carson, Nev., turn out to have been
made bv a behemoth, The women
fo'ks will now b eathe easier.— Detroit
/ >■'!:.
_
—Coarse pickling. salt, in crystals, is the best
to use in
$ 1.50 PER ANNUM IN ADVANCE
NUMBER 44.
-v WIT AND WISDOM,
—The who —--- _ -v Vj
lias made man is worships the fortnn®
116 no more intelligent than
the heathen who prays to the little
wooden god he has whittled into shape.
—It is an old and true sayino- that
opportunity behind. If has hair in front, butts bald
you catch her by the fore¬
lock you can hold her. but if you wait
till She gets by your hand slips'and she
is gone.
the —A queen from bee 2,000 lays hi 3,000 the height of
season to eggs Jut in
dis twenty-four how hours. The man w will
hen over will make to graft a queen bee On a
the whole continent money enough to buy out
in six months.—
Philadelphia News.
—In a village near Cork, a physician
was disturbed one night by repeated
tappings he found at his door, an^l on getting up
been here a laboring long?” man. “Haveyon
asked the doctor.
“ Indeed I have,” answered the caller.
“Why didn’tyou was'afraid ring the bell?” “Ocir?
be ausu I of disturbing V0U r
honor! ,v N. Y. Herald. °
—
—A smart young man asked a gen¬
difference tleman from Cape Cod: “What’s the
between you and a clam?’
thinking that the Cape Codger would
say he didn’t know, and then the young
man would pity him for not being able
to see any difference between himself
and a clam, but the thing didn’t work.
The Codger took the young man and
swept and a path across the street with him,
then, after crowding him into an
empty fish-barrel, and yanking him out
again, said: “A clam wouldn’t be play¬
ing with you in this way. That’s the
difference between me and a clam.”
The young man had no more questions
to ask .—New Haven Register.
—The Ass and the Cat: An Ass one
day Observed a Cat ascend a Tree to
Escape from a Dog, and a Bright Idea
entered his head. “ When my Master
comes to set me to Work I shall run up
the Tree and Remain for the Day.”
And when the Master came, lo and be¬
hold, the Ass Started for the Nearest
Tree at Full Speed, and Ascended about
four Feet when he fell back to the Ground,
and was so Completely Knocked Out of
Shape that his Master found it Impossi¬
ble to Adjust his harness on him, and
was obliged to Destroy him There and
Then. Moral—Never Attempt to be
too Versatile, and don’t Endeavor to
Dodge Honest Work when you have to
Work for a Living, lest Peradverjture
you get Left.— R. K. D.. in Puck?
A Fable and a Moral.
One day a Giraffe met an Ass en the
banks of a river and called ont:
“ Say, my friend, why can’t you keep
that infernal bray of yours still for half
an hour at a time. I no sooner fall into a
doze than off goes your “gee-haw! all gee
haw!” until my nerves are un¬
strung.” that Monkey
At moment a carao
swinging down from the top of a tree,
and remarked:
“Mr. Giraffe, I wish you would keep
your nose at home. It isn’t very pleas¬
ant to have you come poking it into the
tree-tops just as the family are settling
down for the night. And why do you
go trooping through the forest like a
beast who is afraid the Constable may
attach his neck for debts?”
“ And I desire to remark,” began the
Parrot, as he settled down on a limb
near by, “that if I was a Monkey I’d
have some respect for other people’s and
rights. You do nothing but chatter
chuckle a’l day long, and there is a
growing suspicion in these woods that
you had rather dine on Parrot than on
berries.”
“And what are you talking about,
demanded the Hare, as he crept through
the grass. “As for chatter, I’d like to
hear some one equal you, and your
squawks and squeals are enough lit¬ to
drive a Hare crazy. You are of so
tle account that eveq a hungry Hunts
man won’t waste powder to kill you!”
“ I wish the whole crowd of you
would clear out!” exclaimed the Wolf,
as he came forward and licked his
chops with self-satisfaction. “Fact is,
an honest, industrious Wolf, can scarce¬
ly keep his head above water when com¬
pelled to exist among you.” add,” observed
“ And I would like to the
the Alligator, as he crawled to
bank, “that if any of you are meaner
than the member from Arkansas, who
has just sat down, I’ll present him with
81 nl ^ ^
“And it was only yesterday that this
Alligator devoured one of my kids.”
shouted the Goat, as he came down the
path. And have often torn down my
“ you
houses for. the mere fun of the thing!”
charged the Ant as she came out of her
abode.
MORAL:
“Ladies and gentlemen,” remarked
the Rhinoceros, as he hove in sight,
“let this convince you that we all have
our faults, and that we are expected (he Ass to
bear with each other’s. While
may bray, the Parrot chatter, the Wolf
howl and the Alligator rake in the pot,
they allow the rest of us to go our ways
and do as we like. He who will begins to
find fault with the Ass not stop
until he has discovered that the whole
world is wrong. Let us now shut up
and look for breakfast ."-Detroit Free
Press.
A Country Where Baths are Few,
A letter from Rio de Janeiro says:
“Godliness and cleanliness are said to
be allied. I talked to a man yesterday
who told me that he had never taken a
bath in his life! He is a Portuguese, by
over 50 years of age, and a mechanic
occupation. Upon my expressing as¬
tonishment, he said that bathing-plaees
and water were scarce and expensive,
and that only the rich could afford to
bathe. Apropos of cleanliness, such a
thing as house-cleaning, except in the
mansions of the wealthy or well-to-do. is
unknown here. The rooms of country
hotels and of fazendas or farm-houses
are never cleaned. The floors are occa¬
sionally swept—that’s all. The walls
are covered with smut and cobwebs, the
furniture—a cot, a wooden stand, and
twp common chairs—is dusty, and un
less you sleep with a handkerchief oyer
your eyes the inhabitants of the ceding
will drop upon them.”