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Declare among the nations, and publish, and set up a standard;
publish, and conceal not. - Jeremiah 50:2
2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 winner: Editorial Page excellen
2019, 2018 winner: Best Headline Writing
2019 winner: Best Community Service
2019 winner: Best Layout and Design
2019 winner: Best Serious Column - Don Daniel
ON THE PORCH by Will Davis
DRAWING ON THE NEWS by AF Branco
The different ways
of amusement parking
O pposites attract, and even after 22 years of mar
riage, those differences are never more clear
for my wife and I than when we go on a family
amusement park “vacation”.
My wife is the planner in the family. And boy does she plan.
She reads blogs. She studies wait times of rides. We went to
Disney Mask World for spring break in 2021. And this year we
headed to Universal. So of course she studied up and learned
how to attack Universal Studios and, more importantly, she
learned HOW TO WIN at Universal.
We usually leave for family trips on Tuesday nights because,
of course, you, dear reader, come first. Can’t enjoy a vaca
tion until we’ve sent another top-rate, first-class edition of the
Reporter to the press. I worked late on Monday night so that
we could get out early.
“I should be done about 5,” I told Mrs. Davis, who is accus
tomed to me lying about time. Her clock is fast. So of course at
4 pm. she sends a text message: “how’s it going?”
Honestly it wasn’t going well. We had to squeeze in a full
page ad late and then had to add 4 more news pages.
“Should we just take two cars?” Patty Patience wondered.
You see Mrs. Davis had a plan. Universal opens at 9 am. But
if you’re staying in a park hotel, you get in an hour earlier. That
means we would need to be leaving our hotel for Universal
daily by 7:30 am. That means we needed to get up at 6:30 a.m.
And none of that was going to change just because I had to
work late before our 6-hour drive to Orlando.
At last I finished my duties around 6:15 p.m. and left the very
capable Steve Reece to finish the drill. The Griswolds were
soon heading down 1-75 toward Valdosta.
My wife and I also take different views of meals on trips.
When it’s time for a meal, I like to stop, get out of the car and
stretch our legs. Besides, who wants to eat in their laps while
driving? Mrs. Davis, on the other hand, likes to keep on truck
ing and make better time. “Time’s a wasting!” She says. “We’ve
got places to go!” In our family, of course,
the man runs the show. What I say goes. So
we went to the drive through at the Macon
Chick-fil-A.
At midnight, we made it to Universal.
' My sweet wife had packed for me and had
• I remembered all my favorite hats, which are
/l increasingly important when you have a
receding hairline. And so when Cassie the
Cruise Director woke us up at 6:30 am.
the next morning, while I wasn’t in a great
mood, I appreciated her efforts and we
trudged on to the Islands of Adventure
theme park. She had chosen our Aven
tura hotel based on the fact that it was the smallest hotel on
the property and therefore had shorter lines for the bus, and
that too proved wise. And as she promised, the lines for the
rides were quite short at 8 a.m. on a Wednesday morning. The
Harry Potter world was as good as advertised, and the Butter-
beer, the rich, cream soda drink famously served on tap with
ice cream on top in Hogsmeade, was phenomenal.
We continued the relentless pace on Day 2 with another 6:30
am. wake up time. But when everyone took 3-hour naps that
afternoon I think even Cassie conceded the schedule might be
too ambitious. When they all got up Friday for another morn
ing of short rides, I just stayed in bed.
“I’ll meet y’all there!” I sighed from under my pillow. My tun
meter was broken. And by Friday afternoon, the kids (and
even Mrs. Davis) were content like me to hang out at the hotel
pool for free over the frenzied pursuit of another short line.
In our younger married years, the huge differences in my
wife and Is personalities could be a big source of conflict. And
like all married couples, they still lead us to get aggravated with
one another. But going to Universal reminded me that while
we use time and take vacations at totally different paces, we
can both be right. Her planning, organised, well-thought-out
scheduling may drive me crazy. But when I woke up late on
Saturday and had 2-hour waits in line, I realised she had a
good point.
And when we were all exhausted by the schedule toward
the end of our trip, we all remembered that it’s also OK just to
hang out at the hotel pool. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a
nap.
is published every week by The Monroe County Reporter Inc.
Will Davis, President • Robert M. Williams Jr., Vice President
Cheryl S. Williams, Secretary-T reasurer
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Publication No. USPS 997-840
REECE’S PIECES by Steve Reece
If you feel froggy, then jump
A n army of tree frogs once
invaded my living room
during a hurricane late
one September night
when I was in Florida. I say an army
because that is the proper way to
refer to a group of frogs. I looked it
up. We experienced four hurricanes
back-to-back in 2004 starting with
Hurricane Charlie on Aug. 13 and
ending with Hurricane Jeanne on
Sept. 26. In between, we had Francis
and Ivan.
You have two options when you
are faced with a storm as deadly as a
hurricane. Evacuate or hunker down.
I’m the hunker down type. When the
radar showed Charlie approaching,
I checked my hurricane emergency
kit, got milk and bread at Publix,
and stood in the long line for
plywood. We then rode out a
rough storm that tore up the
yard and blew off shingles.
Then we had to go through
the inconvenience of going
without power for a couple
of weeks like every other
disaster. It was like camping
at home. You’ve been there.
When the next two storms
hit, I once again went through all
the proper procedures for hurricane
preparedness according to what the
government pamphlets advised, but
by the time Hurricane Jeanne came
around I was tired of it. I was tired
of the lines and lugging plywood
and a ladder all around my house.
After three hurricanes, the plywood
I had purchased for Charlie was now
warped and buckled from the hard
rains and unusable and you couldn’t
drag me to Home Depot to go
through that mess again, so I decided
to slap some duct tape on the glass
instead. I had seen that done a few
times before, so I figured there must
be something to it. After all, it was
cSs^/P^
duct tape.
Everything was ready in the food
department, and we had plenty of
candles and batteries. I felt like we
were well prepared for round 4. My
ex-wife wasn’t so sure and set up a
place for her and the kids in her large
walk-in closet, which for her was
never quite large enough. I decided
to bed down on the couch
which was more than fine
with her during that stage of
our marriage.
After everyone was settled
in, I went out to the backyard
and immediately noticed how
fresh and clean everything
felt. It had been raining all
day and we were in between
the bands of squalls that had
been passing for hours. The wind
had slowed a bit and the howling had
ceased for the time being. I could
hear the tree frogs chirping sweetly
from somewhere nearby.
The tree frogs in Florida are some
of the strangest creatures on earth.
The only time I’ve ever seen them
was after a rain. Where they hide in
between rains, I have no idea. But
once the drops start falling, here
comes the army. Many times, I’ve
had one plop from a wet tree limb
onto my windshield while I was driv
ing through a residential zone. All
frogs are slimy, but tree frogs are like
slime with legs. Powerful legs.
I felt satisfied that everything was
secure and went inside to take my
place on the couch. It felt so good
outside, I decided to go for it and left
the sliding glass door wide open to
let some of that fresh air in the house.
It needed a good airing out anyway.
I had the Weather Channel tuned
in, and they were saying that the cat
egory 3 storm was going to get worse
so be sure to do this and do that, and
more importantly, stay timed. I set
the sleep timer for 30 minutes, took
off my shirt and took on a reclin
ing position. I was enjoying the nice
breeze blowing into my living room
and I soon passed out as the wind
was picking up.
They say when you have a heart
attack, one of the symptoms is that
there will be a sensation in your chest
that you’ve never experienced before.
Well, a tree frog plopping down on
the middle of my chest while I was
sleeping was absolutely a sensa
tion that I had never experienced.
And in my dreamy state of mind, I
believed I was having a cardiac arrest
and reached for my heart. I instead
grabbed a tree frog. Still dreaming
and without my glasses, I thought
it was my heart that I took from my
bare chest and held above me like
an Aztec priest offering a sacrifice.
When I discovered that it was a frog
along with about 500 more hopping
all around my living room, I nearly
had a real heart attack.
My ex-wife was freaky about slimy
animals in the house but by the time
she emerged from her closet I had
discovered the best way to capture
the little buggers was to catch them
in my ball cap and toss them out the
door and unless she reads this col
umn (she won’t) she will never know
how bad that hurricane really was.
Steve Reece is a writer for the
Reporter and a known crime fighter.
Email him at stevereece@gmail.com.
CAROLYN S CORNER by Carolyn Martel
Monkey business or divine creation?
K ids can ask some pro
found questions can’t
they? A little girl asked
her father, “Where did
the human race come from?” The
father answered, “We were made
by God.” The girl asked her mother
the same question. The mother
answered, “Many years ago we
evolved from monkeys.” The con
fused little girl returned to
her father and said, “Dad
how is it possible, that you
told me the human race
was created by God and
Mom said we came from
monkeys?” The father
answered, “Well, dear, it is
very simple. I told
you about my side
of the family and
your mother told
you about hers.”
from?” How would you answer that
question? Our finite minds find it
difficult to imagine a Being with
“no beginning.” Yet Isaiah 57:15
says, “He is the Holy One who
inhabits eternity.” Renown Chris
tian author, A.W. Tozer wrote, ”God
dwells in eternity, but time dwells in
God. Time marks the beginning of
the created existence and because
God never began to exist;
time can have no applica
tion in Him. God cre
ated time for our physical
existence here, but He has
no beginning and no end.”
I admit, it may be difficult
to wrap your mind around
a God that has no
beginning and no end.
But I believe we exist,
because He exists.
IF YOU want to believe we
HERE’S A question that we’ve evolved from primordial soup or
all asked, “Where did God come from monkeys, have at it. However,
Romans 1:20 offers a convincing
argument, “For since the creation of
the world, God’s invisible qualities
-his eternal power and divine na
ture -have been understood from
what has been made, so that people
are without excuse.” Jesus is our
Creator, Designer and Life-Giver!
Everything that was made has His
finger prints all over it! And the
best part? God loves you and me!
We were created in God’s likeness
and image, and He offers us the op
portunity and privilege to become
His sons and daughters. When we
repent of our sins, trust in, and
make Jesus Christ our Savior and
Lord, the door to eternal life swings
wide open! We are welcomed home
by the Holy One who inhabits
eternity!
Carolyn Martel is the retired advertis
ing manager of the Reporter. Email her
at carolynmartell @bellsouth. net.