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Declare among the nations, and publish, and set up a standard;
publish, and conceal not. - Jeremiah 50:2
2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 winner: Editorial Page excellence
2019, 2018 winner: Best Headline Writing
2019 winner: Best Community Service
2019 winner: Best Layout and Design
2019 winner: Best Serious Column - Don Daniel
ON THE PORCH by Will Davis
Emptier nest
"V" A "^hen we moved to Forsyth 15 years ago, my
% / wife and I had two little toddlers ages 3 and
VV 6
▼ T On Friday we rented a U- Haul and
moved those former rug rats into their respective new
homes in Athens. Tears were shed.
After 2 years at UGA, the oldest, daughter Abbie, moved
into a townhouse and will attend classes at the same little
nursing campus in the Kroger shopping center where her
mother did 30 years ago.
The youngest, son Park, moved into the same dorm
where I lived 30 years ago. My room was condemned after
my matriculation, but otherwise Russell Hall remains the
same.
As we rolled a futon and small fridge into the lobby
of the 10-story dorm, I detected the same scent which
greeted me three decades earlier. It’s not a bad smell. Kind
of like cleaning solution.
Unfortunately, the layout and direction of Russell re
mains the same. If you don’t know the story, Russell was
designed by a Tech student in 1967. If you look at it from
the air, it’s in the shape of a giant “T” and faced toward
Atlanta. That’s back when Tech had some school pride.
Obviously the Bulldogs of that day weren’t smart enough
to figure it out until it was too late.
One thing that’s not the same, is that we could visit my
son’s girlfriend’s room on move-in day in the same dorm.
In 1992, Russell was strictly a boy’s
dorm. No longer. We were chatting
with my son’s girlfriend and her fam
ily in her little dorm room when a
man walked over from the room
across the hall.
V /, “Allen?!?” I said.
Ak A&i h was Allen Freedman, my KA
pledge brother and roommate of 3
years at UGA. His daughter was
moving in across the hall. Of
course we had to take a selfie for
our pledge class group text.
“Russell Hall move in,” wrote
Allen, “just like 30 years ago. Except fatter and balder.”
I don’t know if he was talking about him or me, but he’s
neither bald nor fat so....
I wanted to unhitch our U-Haul trailer so I didn’t have
to drive around Athens with it. So we left it at my daugh
ter’s apartment. I couldn’t find a cinderblock to rest it on.
All I could find was a recycling tub. As you can image the
6x12 trailer crushed it in short order. It was kind of on
an incline. And after a few minutes back at the dorm, I
started to get nervous. We called my daughter’s boyfriend
and asked him to check on the trailer.
“I don’t see it,” he said. I started to panic. My mind imag
ined it rolling down the hill crushing every thing in its
path, even small children. “Just kidding,” added the smart
aleck who will now never be my son-in-law.
For most parents, the college drop-off is a one-day affair.
Not so for Mrs. Davis, and therefore for me. Apparently
we needed a second day of helicopter parenting before
releasing them to the hordes of liberals in Athens. Unfor
tunately, hotels are VERY expensive, well everywhere, but
especially on weekends in Athens. Like $500 per night.
Thankfully Mrs. Davis is a great deal finder, and reserved
our first stay in an Airbnb, which stands for Air Be ’N
Your Business. It’s is a website that allows you to stay in the
living room of strangers.
And that’s exactly what we did. So before we went to
dinner, we found our modest accomodations in an east
Athens neighbourhood of 1970’s style brick ranch homes.
“It got really good ratings” gushed Mrs. Davis, as we
parked next to our hosts pickup truck.
We followed the recently poured sidewalk to the back
yard and entered our “room” through a screen porch.
Only it was obviously a living room whose doors were
See ON THE PORCH . Page 5A
& EDITORIALS
DRAWING ON THE NEWS by AF Branco
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is published every week by The Monroe County Reporter Inc.
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Publication No. USPS 997-840
REECE’S PIECES by Steve Reece
You, too, can become a cyborg
Y our place in life on the day
you were born wasn’t up
to you. You had no choice
in your sex, your race, or
even how rich or poor your parents
were. And maybe the Good Lord
decided you would grow up to be
good-looking and smart or maybe
not so much like myself. Whatever
the outcome was, you had no choice
in the matter. You were born as you
and that was it.
Most of us go through life making
do with what we were given, satisfied
with what we are, and thankful for
our blessings. We can’t all be movie
stars or geniuses.
But to some people, the hu
man bodies we are born with
aren’t quite good enough.
They say the problem is that
we get tired, we age, and then
we die. That the five senses
that get us through life are far
too few. They aim to change
all that through the
miracle of modern tech
nology and are making
rapid progress with do-
it-yourself biology with
emphasis on the “do-it-yourself” part.
This is also known as “biohacking”.
Biohacking is a broad term that in
cludes an enormous range of activities
such as sleep tracking, dieting, and
even older people having a younger
person’s blood pumped into their
sagging veins to fight inevitable aging.
Another popular practice of propo
nents of the movement (also known
as transhumanism) is having chips
implanted into their bodies.
I took my dog to the vet and for
$501 had a radio frequency identity
(RFID) chip implant injected into
him so if he ever gets lost, we can be
reconnected. It is a wonderful tech
nology and gives me great peace of
mind. As far as I know, it was painless
for Muchacho when the chip was in
serted, and as far as I can tell he never
even thinks about it.
RFID chips are tiny computer chips
connected to miniature antennas
and it turns out that the chips can do
much more than help someone find
a lost pet. They can be attached to
any physical object or inserted into
almost any living being. They are used
as contactless entry keys, toll booth
passes, and passports and are widely
used to track products. They
can also be inserted into your
body to enable you to open
your car door or start your
coffee maker with just a wave
of your hand. Leave your wallet
at home, people, your COVID
pass can be in the tip of
your finger.
British scientist Kevin
Warwick, widely known
as “Captain Cyborg”, be
came the first human to ever receive
an RFID implant in 1998. This brave
explorer’s movements were monitored
around the halls and offices at the
University of Reading by a computer
as he operated doors, lights, heaters,
and even other computers without
so much as lifting a finger. Two and a
half decades later this amazing tech
nology is now available to the masses
and thousands of people have lined
up for an implant.
To do this conveniently, there is
a website with kits priced from the
amazingly low price of $89.99 up to
$227.83 that include a sterile injector
assembly that is pre-loaded with a
chip implant (one of four choices), an
tiseptic wipes, a gauze pad, non-sterile
gloves and don’t forget the bandage,
you’ll probably need it.
The transponders are typically in
stalled into the webbing between the
index finger and thumb and perform
actions such as open garage doors,
unlock cars, and upgrade safes. Com
ing soon will be the ability to make a
car payment and start up the motor at
the same time. With one little implant
just below your skin, you will be a
walking bank card.
Some of these homebrewed bio
hackers call themselves grinders and
they go beyond merely injecting a
single chip. A biohacker based in Ber
lin named Lepht Anonym has been
performing numerous self-surgeries
to transform herself into a cyborg. She
has done around 50 of these proce
dures all without anesthesia and now
has additional senses that no other
human in history has ever experi
enced. Of course, she can unlock
computers and other devices without
touching them, but she can also sense
the shape and strength of electro
magnetic fields such as those given off
by electric devices with metal disks
implanted into her fingertips. She
always knows her location due to a
compass-like device in her knee that
sends a constant signal to her brain
giving her a persistent knowledge of
exactly where she is. Lately, she has
been in the hospital due to failing
health. According to some recent
reports she now has infections.
Some people are understandably
a little squeamish about inserting
a foreign object into their bodies
regardless of the good it would do for
fear of needles and the like. If this is
your problem, it is advised by vari
ous biohacking websites and grinder
bloggers to take your newly ordered
injector kit to your local tattoo artist
or body piercing expert. You too can
easily become a cyborg.
Steve Reece is a writer for the Report
er and a known crime fighter. Email
him at stevereece@gmail.com.
CAROLYN S CORNER by Carolyn Martel
How do kids spell Jove?
A teacher asked her first
/\ grade class to
/ 1 spell the word
A. A.“love.” The stu
dents grabbed their tablets
and began to write. All the
children spelled the word
correctly, except one little
boy. Instead of spelling the
word love, he wrote
down the word “time.”
The teacher asked the
little boy, “Why did
you write the word
time? The little boy replied, “When
my Mommy and Daddy spend time
with me, that’s how I spell love!”
I think this little guy hit the nail
on the head. Parents, your children
would rather have you and time
spent with them than all the things
you can give them.
SOMETIMES I wish I could go
back in time and relive the years
when my sons were little
boys. How many parents
are like me, and would
love to hold their little
son or daughter in their
lap one more time? Think
about the joy and laughter
you experienced when you
showered their pre
cious faces
with kisses. How
many parents would
love to experience
again the joy and nail biting moment
of teaching their kids how to swim,
or how to ride a bicycle? As parents,
we all have cherished memories,
don’t we?
Time goes by so fast and before
you know it your children are
grown!
If you are a parent, I encourage
you to savor every moment you
have with your kids. Children are a
precious gift from God, and we are
entrusted with their care for a short
period of time. Children crave love
and attention.
They need guidance and encour
agement everyday. Most of all, they
need you!
One last thought. Do you know
a child that lives in a single parent
household?
Do you know a stressed-out par
ent? Why not think of some ways
to bless these individuals so they
can experience a day of fun, joy and
family togetherness. It will bless
the children, and the parent(s) will
appreciate it more than you’ll ever
know.
Carolyn Martel of Forsyth is the
retired long-time advertising manager
for the Reporter. Email her at car-
olynmartell@bellsouth. net.