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Ragisiared at Uta huioffltt In Savannah.
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LNDtX 1U MW &DVfcfiTISEJIEIT&
Special Notice*—Fine Goode al Low
Prices, C. A. Drayton Grocery Company;
Wall Paper, Paper Hunting Savannah
Buliding Supply Company; Urtck. Andrew
Hanley Company; Notice of Transfer of
Stock of the Merchant*' National Rank of
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day's Dinner, John T. Evans A Cos.; Rids
Wanted for Assorting Garbage Pile. Geo.
M. Gadsden. Director; Order Your Rlee
fleld Limb To-day, Jar. J. Joyce; Whole
some Food at San Francisco Restaurant;
RlceAeld Limb at Gardner's; Levan's Ta
ble d'Hote; Extra Fine Meats. John Funk.
Business Notices— E. 4k W. Laundry.
Amusements r "McFadden's ltow of
Flats" at Matinee and Night.
Auction Balee—Trustee's Sale, by Plat
■bek A Cos., Auctioneers.
Grape-Nuts— Poetutn Ceres! Company.
Biscuit, Etc.—Uneedn Biscuit, Etc.
Corsets—C. B. ala Sprite Corsets.
Cheroots—Old Virginia Cheroot*.
Medical—Dr. Williams' Pink Pltlr;
Hood's Saroeparlila; Tutt'a Pills, Poml'a
Extract!. Ayer’s Cherry Pectoral; Lydia
Ptnkbam Vegetable Pills.
Cheap Column AdvcrtUements—Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Bale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The Indications for Ge-orgla and Eastern
Florida are for rain, with brisk easterly
Sriwor Hanna live* in one of the IwM
houses In the *rlli'S section of the city
of Cleveland. Ills (KHue overlooks Iks
Lika, and his grounds are very- spacious
and banstsumo. The hmam probably cost
several hundred thousand dollars, while
the grounds are worth more than pi/sto
per acre Nevertheless Senator liannu s
home Is tsied upon only *J3.00,
The understandlna Is that the Puke of
Marlborough will la- appointed laird Lieu
tenant of Ireland, to succeed Karl Ca-lo
gn. In that event, there will be two
American women In Ilrttlah viceregal po
sition*—the Jiuchess of Marll-orotigh, for
merly Miss Vanderbilt of New York, In
Ireland, and lsdy Curaon of Kcddleston,
formerly Miss Letter of Chicago, In India.
Gdorgla newspaperdom sustains a
marked loss in the withdrawal of Joel
Chandler Harris from newspaper work.
On the other hand, ihu lilerary world Is
th# Rain- r. since the talented writer will
have more time to give to the production
of such charming stories and sketches as
have mads his name a household word"
wherever the Kngltsh language Is aftoketi.
The Philadelphia Record has this com
ment. along a line whk-b we have touch
ed upon frequently: ‘ Big gifts continue
to go to the negro educational institutions
in tbs South from Northern rich men.
hut the higher School] for Southern
whites are compelled 10 worry along with
merely local aid. Yet the education of
the young while men of that section Is
Important to the whole country.”
Within Ihe past few days cotton has sold
at 10 cents a pound In the Interior of both
Georgia and Texas. The fact seems In
be that those who have contracts are
finding It difficult to secure the cotton
with shIA to till them. Kit her the sea
son la lata und the crop short, or the
planters are holding the eta pis back. It
may he that there Is something of aach
of these reasons In the situation.
The American Society or Professor* of
Dancing, an organization which exercises
a censorship over :he light. fantasMo
steps which dancers are to trip during
aacfa succeeding season, has decided that
"raj lime” must go. Now, If the thitic
tng masters prove tbemeelvu* able to
make it go, the general public will lone
upon them aa benefactors. “Hag time"
niuaic and “cakewalk" sup* have become
e nuisance and a bore.
flam. Wheeler la to return to hia home In
.TTnbama next Tueadagr. Ha hue mil been
among hia home people aince the begin
ning of the Hpanlah-American War,' ex
cept for a day or two when be Went to
l*ry hi* eon Thom aa, the naval cadet who
wa drowned at Montauk Point at the
time the American troop* returned from
Cuba. The people of Florence are mak
ing preparations to give lh gallant little
general auch a welcome aa be will never
The census showing made by Lincoln,
Neb , la even poorer than that made by
Omaha. The latter showed a decline of
per cent., and It was thought that
she would surely win the booby prize of
the notion under the lateat enumeration.
<>ut Lincoln comes up with a loe* amount
ing lo *7.17 per cent. Evidently there was
a lot of watering of census statistic* to
Nebraska ten years ago. In view of the
showing made by the two Western cities.
Charleston need nut feel badly over her
LM per cent. Strange as It may seem,
tbeic are Uea progressive place* than
Germany refuses to agree to Russia's
i proposul to withdraw from Pekin, and the
refusal causes rejoicing In London. It
may be eonrUtered as certain, therefore,
that England will not agree to the pro
posal. France Is willing to withdraw, and
so Is Japan under certain conditions
which could easily be compiled wllh. Aus
tria and Italy can lie depended upon to
take the view of the matter that Ger
It Is hardly pro ho hie, tinder the circum
stances, thut any Of the Powers will with
draw. Gen. Chaffee has been making his
preparations for wintering his army In the
Chinese capital. He might us well con
tinue Me preparations. The Fulled Slates
will not withdraw If all the other Power*
The prospect of an amicable adjust
ment of the trouble with Chin* Is not
prumLing. Tho chances are In favor of
the Pow< r getting Into trouble with ra h
other. That Is what the Chinese diplo
matist* are hoping for. It would be re
markable If the Powers should te able to
agree ujojii any line of action In respect
to China. It Is evident that Germany In
tends to pursue a very radical policy, or
a* least to advocate a policy that will
hardly meet the approval of the other
Power*. Her excuse will be Ihut If she
does not punish China for the assasslna
lion of her minister she will l>c so dla
credited In thecyee of the Chinee# tha* she
will not have any Influence Iti the empire.
England's Interests In Cny a are greater
than those of any other Power. She has !
given no Intimation a* yet as lo what
policy she thinks ought to be adopted, I
hut It can be stated the* she will Insist
upon a course of action that will Insure ;
protection to In r commercial interest*.
It will be known before very long prob
ably what the purpoM of each one of the
Powers Is. It would not he surprising If j
It should appear that each alms to gain
some special advantage, and that the |
welfare of Chinn is a mutter of minor
i onslderatlon. In that event the Power*
will never be able to act In harmony, be
cause M will be Impossible to agree upon
a satisfactory division of benefits.
An Interesting question that will soon
arise I* this. The fighting being over,
will Count Waldersee remain the com
mander of the oH'ed troops, and will the
negotiations with the Chinese government
have to bo conducted through him?
Probably the arrangement In respect to
(\>unt Waldersee will be limited strictly
to tho command of the allied troops, and
M may be revoked altogether.
It is evident that there Is grave danger
of a hasty tangle In the Chinese matter.
It will require tho nicest kind of diplomacy
to get the Powers out of China without
trouble among themselves, and. at the
same time, to effect a settlement with
China that will be acceptable to each one
%\ i:\nmiiiii of THi*
The Republican leaders are complaining
that there Is apathy In I heir parly, ami
they attribute It to over confidence. The
explanation Is not satisfactory. If they
should my that It was due to boss Imp
they would come nearer to hilling Ihe
nail on the head. There was no enthusi
asm In the convention which nominated
Mr. McKinley. And why? Simply be
cause Buss Manna had everything cut and
dried before Ihe convention met. The
convention hod nothing to do but meet
and ratlfyTlie nominations ami the plat
form Which hod already been fixed up.
There was no enthusiasm In Ihe Repub
lican convention which met at Saratoga
this week lo Dominate a governor and
other Fate officers for New York. The
reason was that the nominees had been
decided upon and the platform written
long before Ihe convention mat. Boss
Platt had made the ticket and the plat
form. The convention met to confirm
what he had dome.
The nominee for governor Is Mr. Odell.
Ihe chairman of the Republican Buts
Committee. It has been alleged many
limes that he Is a dreature of Boss Platt.
The platform dodges Ihe two Issues In
which the people are the most deeply' In
terest el-t he ennui and Kamapo Issues.
It has tern asserted that Mr. Odell, more
than any other man. is responsible for the
defeat of the autl-ltamain legislation In
the Legtaiature last winter.
livery body In Ihe slam who Is not a
Mind follower of the point.id bosi.es-
Rosses Croker and Platt—know* that If
Ihe Democrats were lo nominate a fear
less, Independent and thoroughly consci
entious man for gove roor they could csAry
Ihe stale. Knowing Mr. 08*11 as the peo
ple do. only blind partisans would vote
for him. But. will tho Democrats nomi
nate such s mon? The chances are they
wilt not. They will follow the lead of
Boss Crbkcr, ami nominate a man of the
Odell si amp—a man that will allow his
party boss to dictate to him. In that
event the chances are that Mr. Odell will*
be Ihe next governor of New York.
Is It any wonder that there is political
apathy. Why should llie iwople be en
thusiastic when they have pracl Ically
nothing to ik> with making nominations
and platforms? It la but natural that
they should be apathetic over platforms
made and cundtdaies named by the bosses.
It la estimated that more Ilian 30ft ships,
.ill told, have beesi diverted from com
merce-carrying to transport troops and
munitions of war to Bouih Africa. Chltn
and the Philippine 1 stands. The proba
bilities are that the majority of these ves
sels will be released from their emergency
cneagements within a year and return to
ths carrying of the freights of trade.
.Meanwhile there Is a great stringency In
freight room from American ports to Eu
rope. Europe wants nail, and wants It
icidly, but there are practically no
slugs avatlalde for carrying tt across tun
ocean. Owners who have vessels for char
ter In the deep sea trade Just now, are
In fortunate position, and are able lo
demand more than ordinarily prolhuhle
There seems to be an Issue of veracity
between the President’s commissioner to
China. Mr, W. W. Itockhill, and the
Hhanghat correspondent of the Associated
Press. The correspondent some days ago
sent out en interview with Mr. Rocknul
In which a number of undiplomatic ex
pressions of opinion were made. Mr.
Koekhllt denies the correctness of the re
port. and the Associated Press says that
on* of its most trusted staff correspond
ents sent It. Thus arises the Issue. Hhould
ft transpire thn* the Interview wns au
thentic, Mr. RockhlU's usefulness ai a
commissioner to China would probably be
brought to an cud and he would have to
THE MORNING NEWS: SATURDAY. 1 SEPTEMBER 8. 190a
FlUjm IhTli LIVE.
It t* a tale prediction that tf Mr Bry
an hould announce In hi* letter of ae
' r-ptanre that be would not attempt to
: overthrow the geld standard by Indirect
1 mean*—that I*, that he would not at
t. nipt to Interfere wllh that standard ex
; cept through Congress—he would get nlne
tenth* of the votes of the Gold Demo
Mr Richard Gluey, who wa*. perhap*.
| the ablest man In Mr Cleveland's Inst
i cabinet, tia announced hi* purpose to
suppert Mr Bryan. There wa* no more In
fluential Gold Democrat in the campaign
of l*!*t than he The letter be published
' the othi r day will be worth thousands of
votes to Mr. Bryan. Mr. Wilson, who w is
Mr. Cleveland’s Postmaster Genera), hns
j declared In favor of Mr. Bryan. lie was
•me of the toller* In 1896. It Is confidently
j t(ell, v. and that Mr. Cleveland will publish
\ i lvtirr with n * few days declaring hi*
| purpose to vole for Mr. Bryan. A letter
Horn him In giving h * reason* for •land
ing by hi* party In this campaign would
strengthen the tide already running kl Mr.
It I* true Mr. Cleveland, a few day* ago.
refus. and to commit himself as to hi* course
In the present campaign, but since that
time Influetn ea have ten brought to bear
to set an expression of opinion from him.
The b< lief la that he determined to sup
-1 ort Mr Bryan a* soon as th# latler had
I e, n nominated, but hesitated to announce
the fact because of the criticisms hi* ac
tion would ba sure to call out. He would
t> asked to explain why he had changed
til* position In view of Ihe fact that the
Chicago pat form had been re-affirmed
The whole country know*, however, that
lie does not approve Mr. McKinley's Phil
ippine policy. There la no reason, there
fore why he should hesitate to aay he
support* Mr. Bryan.
With such Gold D- raoerat# as Mr. Cteve.
land, Mr. Oln. y and Mr. Wilson ranging
themselves under the Democratic stand
ard there *ll he but few Gold Democrats
Iti the McKinley camp when the day of
It Is •stimated that at least half n mil
lion Gold Democrats cast their ballot*
aga.nst Mr. Bryan In the election four
years ago. If that estimate Is correct,
and the great majority of them side wllh
II Hr party this year. Mr. Bryan will be
elected by a handsome majority.
A VAMtKltlllt.T IS POLITIC*.
The nppenranre of a Vanderbilt—young
Cornelius—ln the politics of New York has
aroused more than ordinary Interest. He
was a delegate to the Republican State
Convention at Saratoga, where, It Is said,
ho was shown especial ami obsequious at.
tendons by many of the party leaders.
The “practical politicians" of the conven
tion, Indeed, ore said to have figuratively
licked their chops. In anticipation of Ihe
Juicy finaikfal morsel promised by the
advent of the young mUllonalße Into their
Members of the Vanderbilt family have
not heretofore appeared personally ami
actively In politics. It Is not that they
have had no connection with politics In
former times, for It la known that they
have been eonlrtlHiiors to campaign funds,
state and national, while occ-asstonally
they have wanted something from the
Iscglslature—which they knew how lo gel,
through third parties. The late Jay
Gould, who never appeared actively in
politics, used to make eome pungent re
marks about the power of money in con
trolling legislation. Tho elder Vanderbilts
were contemporary with Mr. Gould, and
presumably Ihe "Lltllo Wtxard of Wall
street," did not know u great tn.tny tricks
about the manipulation of legislatures
whklt tho Vnnderbllts did not know as
well. However, that la all of tho past.
Young Cornelius is said to have taken
to politics enthusiastically. He thinks It
Is a great game. He ts bubbling over
with patriotism and a desire to further
the public, interests. All of which Is re
marked with real pleasure by Ihe practi
cal politicians who have taken him In
hand to give him a political education. It
ts easier to draw money out of an en
thusiast than a pessimist. "No matter
how rich or how poor u man may be,"
salt young Mr. Vanderbilt to an Inter
viewer at Saratoga, "he ought to take on
Inters in politics. It ts an absolute ne
cessity that every rtttseo should take an
Interest In public aff sirs.” Continuing, he
said: "I llihik I shall like polities. Poli
ticians teem lo be a Jolly lot of fellow*,
and they have lohl ms* many Interesting
things." Kvldently the "boys" had hen
regaling him with anecdotes In Ihe cloak
room. This apitears plainer In view of
the fact that Cornelius himself cracked
a Joke, al which the listeners laughed
loudly. And this fit his Joke: "A man told
mo to-day," said he," "that at Republi
can conventions Che dining rooms of the
hotels are always full and the barrooms
empty, while at Democratic conventions
the liarrooms are always full and the
dining rotsqs empty. I thought that
clever. It speaks well for our party, any
way." la there not In this the ear-murks
of the Depew tutorage?-
Notwithstanding the young gentleman Is
merely a novitiate In politics. Ihe office
bee Is already bussing In tils bonnet. "I
might like to go lo Congress after a
while, but I’m not In politics long enough
lo Ihtnk of that yet," he said. Never
tholes* some of bts handlers are making
plans lo draft him as a candidate for
Congress from one of the uptown districts
of New York city. Having made a can
didate of him. the politicians will, of
course, proceed to "pull his leg." And
then young Mr. Vanderbilt may find him
self under Ihe necessity of revising his
opinion of New York Republican politi
Would It not be to the Interest of the
taxpayers If the County Commissioners
would put the convicts to work cutting
away the weeds and undergrowth on the
vacant kinds near the city, and the coun
ty leamtt to hauling the stuff away? The
city health authorities say that weeds In
the vacant lots In tbs city are prejudicial
to the public health. Are not the weeds
on the vacant lands around the (tty etm
j llarly unhealthful? The coffee weed seems
to be more prolific this year on vacant
lands than ever before. In some Instances
innklng rbada that are seldom used almost
Impassable. There Is no better service
that the County Commissioners can ren
der than to aid In protecting ths health
of the city. /
Mr. Kryan made a trip through Ver
mont last February, speaking at several
point*. The decrease In the Republican
vote and the Increase In the Refnocrutfc
vote at the recent election iudl.atc with
'■That effect he spjko
We invite the a ton* lon of those North
ern persons nnd iwper*. that are fond of
erittoedng the South In the matter of the
negro question, to the case of Napoleon
A ruler son, of Wilkinson county, an ac
count of which appeared In Dublin anl
Macon dispatches In the Morning News
yesterday. A rater son la a farmer, and
Is known us o good and honest man hy
bis white neighbors. He had planted n
patch of sugar cane. Two white men.
United B lures officer*, went Into his pat h
without permission and cut some of Ihe
cane. In other words, the charge ts that
they stole tt. Anderson had them arrow
ed for the theft. This arouses! their ire,
nnd when they hid given bond, they r
-r* Med hltn for "Interfering with officers
In ihe discharge of their duty!" Upon
this very flimsy charge they started *o
haul him olt lo Macon, handcuffed, to
answer before a United Htates commis
sioner. But. our dispatch * tys, "Via
while men of the county rose up in arm*
und refused wllh forts* to allow tho ne
gro to be taken away without duo pro
fs of law." The officer* gave ihe negro
up ami went to Macon, where they took
warrants for many of the white ctttxen*.
'These cltlxens," ‘continues our Macon
dispatch, 'Time in to-day anti brought
the negro wuh them, and announced that
* s *>e had led an exemplary life In their
midst, every dollar in the county would
lie used to see that he was not Imposed
upon." Is there a county in New York,
or Pennsylvania, or Illinois, whose elU
xiiw would declare their intention of put
'ing up "every dollar In the county” for
Ihe purpose of securing Justice for a
negro? This Incident, by the way. shows
how ihe honest, indtoetrlou* bio k man
!• regarded in the South.
PE H SOMA L.
—Quaen Margherlis Is going to the Alps
as usual this month. Her Majesty Is u
great climber, and has even made the as
cent of the Un it horn—a mountain near
Zermatt. 13,68a fret high.
—Jullon Ralph, the American war corre
ipoildotii, has been obliged to decline nti
Invitation to lecture on the war with the
Boers, because he says that his nerve*
"are like fleas and are jumping about all
ovpr hia l>ody." He adds that his ex
perience In South Africa was "like a Jour
ney to Hade*, from which M takes u long
time to come hack.
-John J. Ingalls' eulogy of Ben Hill Is
declared to be as fine a piece of agnostic
oratory a* was ever uttered, and contrib
uted In no small degree to his retirement
from public life. At the time It was de
livered Kansas had a great deal of re
ligion to the square mile, ami here was a
senator from the state who was not cer
tain as to heaven and even showed sum*'
doubt as to tha existence of hell. The
Kansas religion of those days could not
ktand that und Mr. Ingalls suffered ac
—The Duchess of Cleveland, mother of
Lord Rosebery, Is one of the most re
markable octogenarians In English socie
ty She ran remember every Incident of
ibe Queen's welding, where she offi
ciated a* bridesmaid, and her memoir*,
should they ever be published, ought lo
prove one of the moat fascinating Looks
concerning Ihe social nnd political life of
the Victorian era. A* Is natural In the
mistress of Rattle Abbey, she has long
been a leading authority on the Battle
of Hastings, and some years ago site pub
lished a voluminous work dealing with
all those familleb who can trace their de
scent from William the Conqueror's
—Johnny's Current History—The tcAcher
asked tho scholars to write a sentence In
which the word "chaste" was used. John
ny Wise, who keeps posted on current
events, wrote 1 : ''Agulnaldo Is the most
chaste man there lg."—Baltimore Ameri
—roliilc.ll Psychology—" How Indignant
Simpkins Is that everybody doesn't indorse
his estimate of Bryan.” "Yes, but I know
Simpkins: he Isn t Indignant that Bryan
Isn't Indorsed—he’s Indignant that people
disagree with him."—lndia nap-fils Jour
—The Cure—" Did you ever experiment
with the Kneipp cure?" asked one of Ihe
Inmate* of Ihe convalescent ward at the
hospital. "Only for poverty," answered
the other, a large, frcekUd-faeed woman
"1 always went barefooted when we liv
ed on the farm."—Chicago Trltnine.
—Tho Only Complaint—" What kind of
a climate have you here?” "It's fine."
answered ihe reiddent. "The only trou
ble Is that the weather gels discouraged
and quit* too soon. The summer* are too
sh >rt to posture bananas and pim-applr*.
and Ihe winters aren't long enough lo
raise polar hears."—Washington Btur.
—Physician—“My dear, sir. you want
sleep. Tell me. -lo you sleep well al
nlghi?" Patient—" Doctor. I have not had
night's sleep for eleven years." Physi
cian—“ Why, It Is wonderful you are not
dead or Insane. Does il Interfere with
your business?" Patient—"No, dor-tor. not
a bit.” "Indeed! What la your occupn
tk>n. may I ask?" "I am Ihe editor of
a morning paper."—Harlem Life.
CI’HKKVr tow MUST.
The Crescent Ctly (Fla.) News (Rem.)
says: "Hon. Frank Clark has nude a
six column speech on capital removal nt
Rclamd. He argued for Jacksonville. A
great many people seem to think that
Clark Is the original and only capital re
moruler, hut that Is s mistake. Agut
naldo had removed several times before
Ctark got the notion, and Paul Kruger
no sooner thought of the srheme than he
acti*l. Qiirk comes In third, with the old
girl over In China a goes! fourth."
The Nashville American (Rem.) says:
“From our knowledge of "Mr. Rryan’s
character we think he Is falsely Judged,
anil ate convinced he would do nothing
so radical as to attempt the reorganiza
tion of the Supreme Court, but politically
It would lie llte prudent thing for him to
speak out definitely. It would win him
thoosanda of votes In the close stales
where he most needs them.”
The Springfield (Mass.) Republican
(Ind.) soys: “While the Fall River col
ion mills are shutting down lo check
over-producllon, nine new mills In the
South are about to begin operations. A
pretty serious situation for this Industry
Is |tresrnted In the recent nolultic rush
of capital Into new mills In the Caro'.ln is,
Georgia, and, Indeed, throughout Oral sec
The Philadelphia Record (Rem.) says:
"Some months ago the Republicans were
boasting of the thoroughness wlili which
they had established the gold standard.
Now even Secretary Gage la amhltloua to
prove that the Republican enactment Is
so IImiIt! tt :1 c • Id - ■ i : , 1. nmi .!
by a Democratic secretary of tbe treas
The Washington Post (Ind.) says: ‘Tt
In the Ron. John M. Thurston who thinks
the presence of Toro Reed on the stump
would do more harm than good. Evident
ly the Nebraska min fears that If Tom
should begin to talk be might glvs ex
pression to hia thoughts.’)
A Fateh Somewhere.
A middle-ag* n woman called at an In
surance agent's In a provincial town
some time ago to unnounce that she want
ed to lasute her house, says the Leeds
"For how mu h’" asked the agent.
• Oh, for about fSOO."
"Very well. I'll come up and Investi
"I don't know much about Insurance,”
"IF* very simple, ma'am.”
"If I'm insured for £3OO and the house
Is burnt down, 1 get the money, do 1?”
"And they don't ask who set It afire?"
"Ob, but they do. We shall want to
know all about It”
"Then you needn't come.up.” ahe said,
a* she ro-c to go. “I heard there was
some catch about It somewhere, and now
I see where It Is.”
A tirntlrman In Illsanlse.
Borne years ago Ephraim Mariner tried
n case In the Circuit Court for an eld
Irishman, says the Philadelphia Call. The
suit was again, i the brother of Mr.
Mariner's ellem. D wan fought bitterly,
and there was a great deal of feeling dis
played during ihe course of the trlat, ea
there always Is when relatives get io
fighting each other. Mr. Mariner won the
ase. Hl* client was In a stale of exulta
tion. lie thanked the lawyer again and
again. When he reached the south door
of Ihe court hou.-e he paused before going
down Ihe step*, and slapping hi* lawyer a
vigorous blow on the hack, said:
"We bate them, didn't we. Ml.-ter Mar
"Tea, Andrew, It came out as I said It
would.” r> piled Mr. Mariner, quietly.
"Mister Mariner.” said the old man. his
voice trembling wllh emoilon, "youTOa*
Mind va. Matter.
Prof. Countemfasl Is a small man with
a large mentality, says London Answers.
Hl* wife is ~ tall woman, who believes In
tho power of matjer over mind. The
profes.-or hid been absorbed she whole
evening in a profound paper on the men
tal churacteitstlc* of people who were un
happily married. Suddenly looking up he
"My dear, are you aware of the fact
that a man’s brain weighs about three
and one-half pounds?"
"Humph! You've just read that,
"Hr—es—why— er—oh! yes; certainly; of
—“Well, that article says a woman's
brain Is not so heavy, eh?”
"Er—er—yes. It certainly docs, but "
"And It tfiso states that a woman's
brain Is of much liner quality, doesn't It?"
"Er—er—well, yes; you are quite right,
"Now. listen to me. Just concentrate
your three and one-hnlf-pound brain on
that scuttle and figure out how much If
will weigh after you bring It full of coal
from the cellar." Tho professor nuekly
how. and his great head, and, as he depart
ed for the lower regions In search of ab
stract Inform,!lion, he murmured:
"The man who th.nks that mind Is su
perior to matter Is an Illustrious Idiot!"
Tales of Two Governor*.
William Allen was kn-uvn as the "Iron
Governor" of Ohio, says the Denver
Times, not because he hail been an Iron
king or anything like that, but because
he had noi the slightest sympathy In the
world for a criminal, and whenever at:
application sas maile lo him lo pardon an
erring one he was as "Iron" and .uia
not lie moved, so he was called the "Iron
One Thanksgiving eve he was applied to
for executive clemency by the wile of a
notorious horse thief, and one who was
serving II third time at that, lie sat at
his desk, hi* back turned on the tearful
pb a.k-r, not even i <khl< sending to look
at her. Hhe hail brought with her a 0-
!ear-obi gtrl, who hail been quietly watch
ing. Suddenly tho child went to him, and,
pulling his coat tall, said:
You mean old thing, I want my piu>a.''
And the "Iron Governor" •natchcl'licr
up. kissed her smack In the mouth, und
**ld: "And you shall have him."
True to his word, later that day the
wife and child come away from the prl-cwi
with the pardon'd hus I Kind and father.
Gov. Boh Taylor of Tennessee was Just
o*t tly opposite to Gov. Allen, with as
tombi a heart as a woman, nnd the say
he pardon, and out convicts was sometbliig
awful. He was watted upon by a *om
mlttee of the legislature, who very flat
ly nnd In no uncertain way told him that
this "wholesale pinioning must stop."
"Gov'ner Ih.b" looked at the commit
tee. tapi-d n licit. ask*d for his pardon
Merk. und when he came sukl:
"Make out pardons for every man In the
The Clerk bow ( -d nnd withdrew. Then
the Governor looked nt the committee,
who were staring aa If they thought he
was going mad.
"Gentlemen," he said, finally, "I am
Governor of Tenaessee. and If this com
mittee or any other ever again seeks to
Interfere with my constitutional right to
pardon f'H sign every one of those par
don# which the clerk Is making out. Good
The Man Who kmm a It AH,
From Ihe Denver Kvenlng Post.
You bump against him everywhere. In
Country and in Town.
Upon hls sadly swollen head bo wears
the knowledge crown.
Ills hump of self-esteem stands out like
knot upon a log,
Hls egotism never yet was known to slip
Hls self-assurance has Its stamp forever
In hls eyes.
No gray and i>atr!archal owl could ever
look so wire.
He Is a constant sufTrer from enlarge
ment of the gall.
And petrifaction of the cheek, the man
who knows It all.
Ho has an unimpeded flow of language
Hls active, tireless tongue ts of Ihe au
Hls nasal organ be Inserts In every one's
He sows the grain of knowledge while
hls neighbors sow Ihe lares.
No matter what the theme may be, he's
posted up to dote.
The Information that he hears would
wreck a common pate.
He thinks without bis guidance this ter
restrial whirling ball
Would cease lo lake Its dally spin, the
man who knows It all.
You never hear him aay, "f think,” lie's
far 100 wise for that,
’TU knowledge far ultove dispute that
trickles though hie hat.
He'll meet your solid argument on any
point with sneers.
And pound his views with stroke* of
tongue Into your weary ear*.
No word of contradiction or correction
will he brook.
Hla statements are Impregnable—he's
talking by the hook.
He'll take a etand aa solid as a rock
For what he know* he knows he knows,
the man who knows It all.
He'll tell you how the President should
guide tbe ablp of state.
What wise and ever-needed laws our
Congress should create.
How generals in time of war should move
against the foe.
And Just the very point as which to
strike the vital blow.
He cannot be accounted for. save on the
Thai when the Lord created him for
some Strange reason He
Deprived him of a eet of brains, but gave
him double gall.
And lllled hla head with “crasy bones,"
the man who knows M all.
ITEMS OF ISTEHKBT.
—An Englishman recency v.h*l frlen tg
In lonesxi. Ireland, and wa* w .rmly re
ceived by them. Going lo bed shortly af
ter his arrival he dropp'd Ms watch Into
* handsome pocket above hi* pillow. Not
till morning d!d he .lnever that there
was water In the ree.ptac e, which, in
deed. was uoi a watch po het at all. hut
a place (or holy wafer. The watch was
ruined, but the owner has a valuable hint
lo give lo Brltl-h Protestants who visit
Catholl ' friend* In Ireland.
—A thirteenth com ury prophet of th ■ au
tomobile hns been found In Roger Bacon,
who wrote: "We will be able to construct
machines which will propel ships with
great! r speed than a whole garrison of
rower.*, ai l which will need only on* pilot
lo guide them; we will be sbl- lo propel
carriages with Incredlbl • Sliced without
the Aid of nay animal." We hove not qulie
overtaken the sanguine dr* am.- of the old
philosopher, for be go * on to say: “We
will be gThle to make machine# which, by
means of wings, will enable u* to fly In
the air tike birds."
—Now that the rem >val of the prohibi
tive lie nse for "drummers'" In Hawaii Is
a fact, the enterprising salesmen have
begin to Invade Honolulu and oilier
town* Previous to annexation each drutq
mrr bud to pay the town list) for the priv
ilege of tailing goo Is there. This was
rather dlicoursglng and kept American
firms from doing much buln*s- by a
travel ng representative. Drummers now
fr.e-ly go and com, and tnuny good order*
n c-rtatn tin-a are b lag placed In Hono
—Paterson, N. J . where the anarchist*
come from, is watching a sort of poker
game between Mr, Hie n and his neigh
bor. Mr. Potts. Mr. Breen built a fence,
which Mr. Potts thought was too high,
so Mr. Potts built a higher fence himself
cn his lot. Mr Breen raised bis fence a
foot and Mr Polls, whose name, hy the
way. Is Ja k, saw him and raised him six
Inches. Breen ra!s.d hack next day. and
so It has gone on until the partition I*
thirty feet high and tho lumber market
—The four scurfs Her Majesty recently
sent out to Bouth Africa, knitted by her
own hands, have been presented to the
most dlsrlngtiLhed private otoldlers of
each of the following colonies: Australia,
New Zealand, Canada and Fape Colony.
The fortunate reclper.ts are Privates Du
frayor. New Soufh Wales Mounted In
fantry: H. D. Courts. New Zealand
Mounted Infantry; It. Thompson. Royal
Canadian Regiment, and 1,. Chadwick.
Roberts' llorxp. Each of these men has
p rformeil acts of conspicuous gallantry
■luring he campaign. The scarfs have V.
R. I. emhrotderled In silk. During the
Egyptian campaign In IXB2 the Queen
made nn*l presented a quill to one of the
military hospitals In Cairo. The privilege
of having the quit! for n covering was
at first much sought for. but when It
became generally known that H was con
ceded only to men who had small chances
of recovery the quilt was eventually re
garded as tho harbinger of death and
-If one will visit Walkervllie, Shelby
county. Missouri, says Ihe St. Louis Re
public. gather together a circle of the old
settlers of that mos: pieturesque and in
teresting neighl-trhoo-l and let them get
wound up to story-telling, one may hear
m.iqy amusing anecdotes and bit* of In
teresting local hlet,cry The following ac
count of the origin of the familiar expres
sion "Gone up Halt River/’ was gleaned
from this fertile field during a recent
visit: Many year* ago, before, the war. Ir.
fact, a politician and office-seeker living
In Pike county, through which the Halt
river find* its way to the Mississippi, was
a can-Mdute for the legislature, living de
feated at the election, he moved Into
Rail*, the next county up Ihe river, where
he again tried hi* fortune at the polio,
was again defeated an-1 again mm—l up
the river. In Monroe county he was a tnlid
time defeated, but nothing daunted he can
vassed Snelby county tn hls next attempt,
with as little success as he ha-1 achieved
lower down the stream. From Shelby
county he moved to Macon, with the same
result. When anyone made inquiries a*
to hls whereabouts, he was said lo have
"gone up Salt river."
—The German court* have lately been
much exercised as to the meaning of the
Yiddish word "Salamasel." A Jewish
woman, having had a quarrel wllh a
Christian shook caper, sent her husl-and
lo call the Christian lo account. After a
long altercation, say* Ihe Jewish Work!,
the Jew declared In a loud v-de that the
Shopkeeper was a "Shtamaw-I." The Chris
tian did not know Ihe meaning of ihe
word, but from the tone In which II
uttered felt that II was an abusive ep
ithet. He thereupon good the Jew for It
hel, and the magistrate, though confessing
ht* Ignorance of the signification of the
expression, held, from ihe circumstances
of Ihe ease, that It was ustd allusively
and consequently fine! the offender, in
appeal, however, this Judgment was
quashed, the court observing that as none
of Its members knew Ihe meaning of
"flhlamaeel” or whether It had any
tag i tall. It dr In. ~1 to . .nil). Ills. lt
to <1 Statement #- lo w tether l> was abu
sive or not. “Shlamasel" Is a <-omlilnatlon
of the German wand "sehllmtn" (bad) and
the Chaldee "maxiol" (stir or luck), and
means “had luck” or "misfortune.”
—White donkeys have been quite the
rage in Paris during the past season. The
cafe ehantant has distinctly made a
mark by Its relays of donkey surprises.
The players, sny* a Lon-ton paper, would
sit tn the stalls, and would then suddenly
and often unexpectedly pas* right through
the large and cheering audience ns they
made Ihelr way lo the stage. The grrated
scene of enthusiasm, however, occurred
when about a dosen of them eonretvrd the
Idea of riding up Ihe aisle of a cafe rhan
tant with dazzling Jewels and ornaments,
In short skirts, with large picture hats,
and seated on donkey*. 'Hte sensation this
scene created In Pari* had not died away
when the city was still more agitated by
wring Mile. Lise Fleuron singing her song
on the stage as she sal on the buck of n
donkey, which had been her pel for some
lime and which wa* In glittering harne-s
and flower bedecked for the great event.
This whir* pet donkey of "ht belle Fleu
ron." wlthm a short time beeame the talk
of Paris and Is now almost as celebrated
among the frequenters of the French cafes
chanlants as Its well-known mlrtr.■**. In
deed. It Is questionable which of the pair
gets the greatest reception before and af
ter the performance, the pel donkey or Its
—Our namoan possession. Tutulla. hi*
Just passed through an exciting political,
business and social crisis, culminating In
the award of tbe contract for the laundry
work of the commanding officer of th
l ulled Plate* collier Aharenda. All Dago
Pago was rent over this important mat
ter. The daughter of the chief, Fagalogo.
a* being nearest the coal station. **rur<d
the prixo. It was claimed by the daugh
ter or the head chief of the whole hoy.
on the ground of sut>erior rank. Th
democratic decision of the commander
docs not please the friend* of the dlsap-
Imint'd princess, who Is now circulating
stories that her eucce-sful rival doesn't
know a white dock suit from a canvaa
twek duck. Another bit of Samoan scan
dal Is to the effect that Vaenga, the
young chief of Villon. Is courting To.
musti. the belle of Tutulla. tn a very cheap
way. He never kills more than a score
of pigs for a day's banquet, and the board
of aldermen who have the disposal of Te
munti's hand and the no of p,go Pago
have begun to turn up their noses , „
lover no Mggardly as that. M.unga.
formerly his royal hlchm-s. may no*
have heard of Flanaem of Texas, nut
l*:.!’ 1 fob f postmaster as
!fJ h * ,? m * * * hal! * created He
■ta exerting all bis pull to get the place.
The I'amoui Aid to Safe and
rv*f by mnthera th* *rr*rt& (H'w for n*nriy v
PR. HTKI'MAN hftvltti; operMNt a bnocboftet in
a.cqnftktermfeLr rwiuea* Ibtcowof Ibenjntj.
cpiebruH |*iwdrr* Tlxry put up In jnrifcm wru.
pn Ttif lrui m*rk. acusu Unoei,
Iw nn *T*rr packet mid on ererr pnwdwr. wtthnnt
which immm Iw gertmlie*. A rontAlnifiK rtn
powder*. Vt <t-niA At yuur drugKiwt w. vt uuktisni
oowtpwh! on remript of price. h*i! |Vr Ijooklut -
**lPr. i Snrt*r\ Addmw
J. . lie. M U ri K.
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