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4 8% iUorltinfl IV'cKs. Morula; hews Haildia; aataoaah Uii MONDAY, tMTOIIUR SM, 1800, lUflMored MU * in s\inoah. The MORNING NEWS is published •vary day la U.r >ear. and aervwl to avtaacrltwra to Ilia city, or sent by mao. at 70c a month. MOO for alt month*. and UOO (or on > ear Tba MORNING NOWS, by mall, alx tiota a neck (without 6unday Uttca). (hraa month*. 51 -to. moo tba |)W. one year la to The WEEKLY XEWB, 7 lsaue* a week. Monday and Tburaday. by ma.l. one year. 11.00. Subscription* tevabie In advance. Re mil by poe.ai order, check or registered Uttar. Currency aenf by mall at rlak ol atndera Transient advertisement*. other than apertai column, local or reading notices, amueemente and cheap or want column. IS cum a line. Fourteen lines of agate type—equal to one Inch square In depth— ta the standard of measurement. Contract tales and dtacount made known on appli cation at bustnrru office. Orders for delivery of the MORNINO News to cither rest** nee or place of business may be made by postal raid nr through telephone No HO Any irregular ity tn delivery should b Immediately re ported to I tic office of publication. Let*era and telegrams should be ad dressed “MORNING NEWS," Savannah, On. EABTERN OFFICE. 3 Fork Row, New York city, 11 C. Faulkner. Manager. INDEX II) HEW ADVERTISEMENTS. Special Notices—Ship Notice J, F. Minis Ac Cos.. Consignees; Plasterer* nnd Mo* ■Otis’ Supplies, Savannah llulldlng Supply Company; Location of I>r. Oskorm City Physician for S> ■'•mil District: Dissolu tion, J. F. Hobson A Cos. Business Notions—E. A W. Laundry; Coffee Rousted Dally, Henry Solomons A Son; Clipper Tomatoes Received To-day. The 8. W. Brunch Cos. Washing Powder—l’earline. The Purest Beers Anheuser-Busch Brewing Association. Cleveland Bicycles— Wm. A H. H. Lattt tuore. Biscuit—The National Biscuit Company. Bom*- Things New That We Have Just Opened Up—Lindsay A Morgan. Medical—Castoria; Hood's 1’flls; Hos teller's Stomach Bitters; Tutt'a Pills, Cheap Column Advertisements—Help Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous. The Weather. Tht* trxWmtlonft for Ot-orflti anti Kant ern Florida t(Hky arr for rain, with frenh tan to •outh*at winds. WaMersee experts to h- ordered home shortly, after having a a otnpUtfhed noth* trig lnitthe mi-farcical nxpedlttcm against Pao Ttng Fu. Frenchmen will enjoy the spectacle of the Germ.in field marshal m.irrhing upon China, with n seven-room house tmona hie baggagg, and then ft t might way marching hack again ■ - ' • w • ———* — Rcpri'i". nlallv* Hull of lowa, who In Chairman of (h House Committee of Military Affairs, him! who reported the bill lo Inco.uo the standing army to 100.000 mm, has not yal denied the charge that h ( the provident of a land and lumber company engaged In exploiting Philippine resources, tind that be wants a big army to guaid the Interests ••( hi* company In the Islands. This Is going to be n record breaking year for fotrs In Georgia. A dozen have been hold already, at Athena. Griltln, Macon and elsewhere; a dorm more are In prospect for the near future, al Vul dosta. Way cross'. Columbus. Madleofi, Jackson and other cities and towns, not to count the Bibs' Carnival lo be held shortly In thts city. Ttim. too, there Is the Interstate Fair In Atlanta, now In full blast. Those fairs that have been held found attendance and business goo), ami those that are to be held are assured ol equal success. What do these gatherings Indicate? That the people have time for amusement and recreation, and the money with which to pay for them. The county fair* are beneficial to the sections In which they are fceld. They bring the farmers together for an Interchange of opinions and experiences, and to see what each has accomplished In the way of fine stork raising and the growing of farm products. They bring to the utten. tion of the farmers, also, nil of the latest and most improved machinery and meth ods to be employed on the farms. They teach how to euve labor, and how to get the best r.suite from labor expended. It would boa fine thing If there could be a fair In every county In Georgia every full. Baldness as a bar lo marriage Is being discussed quietly In Augustu. The pros, pectlve happiness of a young couple of that chy hue Just been dashed to pieces upon the pbUshed poll of one of the par ties to 11. Ami, sad lo relate, the poll was that of the woman In the ease. The ■ultor had doted upon the luxuriance and beauty ot the hair of his sweetheart. The ambrosial locks Wire Intoxicating The coiffure was always a dream, and the lit tle "spit-curls" were so cute and retching that the swain could hardly await the time to buy the license. At length the desired permit alon to procure the docu ment was given, and the happy man hied him to tbo ordinary, with dreams of a beautiful free framed In the most glor ious hair In the world Milling through hie mind With the states official permis sion lo marry In his pocket, duly signed, sealed and delivered. Ihe would-be Rrne dlok rushed to his sweetheart’s house to abow her the precious paper. She wasn't expecting him She was doing up her hair ll w.ts on her lap. Each saw the other at alioul the same tine. The girl shrieked and ran. but no Mowing locks streamed out behind Instead the gas light scintillated upon a cranium that would have done honor lo the Hrst row when the ballet was on. For an Instant the lover stood rooted to the spot. Ills bah hammered the tilling out of his front teeth, and then dropped with a dull thud Into his patent leathers. Slowly the bruised heart climbed lock to Its former place and resum'd business at the old stand, the roots loosed their hold upon the Moor and the young mau went out into the desolate flight. mill IIJ> l> TMK f % Hl* %n. V President Cleveland believed that offi j rial* who drew thet r salaries from the public treasury should not take an a - t.vr pari to political campaign* II was ; hi* opinion that lb*’ voter* uuuhl to be 1 I "'ft fro? from federal oflb lal Interfer ence lo form their own conclusions. l”n -dcr hit administration "offensive parti sanship 4 and "pernicious activity" were flrnt hoard of as sppll? and to oflb rholders. Moth President Cleveland anil hi* suc rtssor. President Harrison, -aus-d re moval* from office for offensive partlaan rhi|i and pernicious pdlth. al u. tlvit) Hut those term* ■ rm nol lo l- Ir.clud' I in the Vocabulary of the present adminls- I rat ion, or if they a r e, to have fallen Into absolute disgrace ami disusi Oflb ehold ers aro hoc nov. monstrated with or ■ •■moved far neglecting th?lr work lo no rampatirnlnir <>n ihe • ontrory. a premium serm* In bo ael on the political activity by officials Thom> who are most a llvo In propagating Kepubl!-. an 'lactrtn. r most favorably received at the White House. The I’r -sldent himself has not taken the stump, but he Is at work cam paigning He pursues Ihe 1 dlgnlli- I" course of summoning to his side the h< id of the executive departments ami the leaders of his parly, and consulting with them as lo Ihe things best lo be done and the method- to be employed. Thus flattered hy 'he President's ronfldenee. and l,jiving ta- It instructions to put forth their h'-t ifforts for Hifsihllean • ear, Ihe ofTh •ho ders have plunged Into the campaign. The Washington com-pendent of the Philadelphia l.edger m.tis that pretty r.- irly the whole ofll< nil household of the President and many heads of departments have been away from W > ddr.gton making s'ump speeches or otherwise campaign ing for some weeks. The only members of the cabinet who have not been actively engaged In purely politha! work during the past month are Secretary II ty and Secretary Hoot, toih of whom have been 111. A partial list of those occupying h gh official places who have been, and still are, devoting themarlve.- to (tollll cal work, together with their salaries. Is as follows: Secretary Gage. ts,o/i; Attorney General Griegs, Ix.flOf); Postmaster General Hmlth. H.mO: Secretory t.ong, SS.OOO; Secretary Wilson. |S,Oi': Assisi,ml S. , reiury of Ag riculture Hrlghnm. SI too, A'sltant H? ore lary of War Melklejohn. Il.toO; A-sUitnnt Atforney flenenrl Hradt. I&.OQO. Solicitor General Rloharda. JS.ffiO; Oernral l-arvi Comm I .-sloner Herman. $3,000; Commis sioner of Patents Duel), Sj.fOO; Forth As sistant Postmaster General Itrlstow, St.'eO, Third Assistant Postmaster General Mad den, St TO": Comml-sioner Immigration Powderly. $4,00. Conimlslonrr Pensions Kvuna. $3,000; Sixth Auilllor Castle, tt.OTO; Chief of Salaries (P. O ) llfwers, $2,500; Superlnlerulent Printing Census Hooe, $3,800. Deputy Auditor Grosvenor. 13.200; t’nlted Slates Treasurer ItotverU, Sh.OUO; Controller of Currency Dawes, 13.000, Census Appointment Clerk l.ai.gley, Flh Commissioner Mowers, none. It would probalily be pretty im ariy cor rect to average the time given by the above lo politic at one month each. A short arithmetic calculation will suffice to show whul their • ampulgnlng has cost (ho people, lo say nothing of the perver sion of Ihelr official positions. K 1 tHM.It tl’lllr I'.lssinil.fTlF*. If there Is anything In an Invention hy Miss Frances K<!lor of Chicago, a whole kit of people or- liable to And themselves# out of employment before.- long. Miss Kellor’s guaranteed to re veal all of a person’s thoughts, passions and emotions, present* slarlllng possi bilities When the current of the kymo graph lie tiirne-d on, It the claims of the Inventor are well baaed, also nine-lent ha of the world will, perhaps, want to seek soma an lueirel hiding place, while the other tenth will make on effort to get u lr#mt seat. With what dangers to many of the human race this remarkable ma chine Is fraught! Ami yet to many It might prove a blessing For Instance the use of this tell-tale Instrument might prove the mi ms cf shattering iho prospects of many a oan dMato for political office. The people would Insist on buckling the kymograpn to the heads of contesting candidates, that they might team their true views on •urrent Issues, rather than those ora u lar utterance* made to lit the occasion. Fastened to Ihe bend of I’ressleiit Mc- Kinley the kymograph might reveal that ’’our plain duty” is obedience to the will of Chairman Hanna. What a heg Ira from Republican tank would such a dern otauratlon create! On the oiher bind Chairman Hanna's kymographlc analysis might he expressed In the famous "I.'etal? o'eat mol,” of Lands XIV., which means. In effect, "I am the whole push.” We hesitate to speculate upon what Oov. Roosevelt's kymographlc chart would disclose. Two of them, taken six months apart, would probably be •> coot null -lory (hat they could scarcely b. attributed b> the same person unles: labeled and sworn to. Rut It I* not In politic* alone that the value of the kymograph would prove great It would have Us uses |n busi ness. In the courts amt In the household. How far would Stehreiher have gotten with the Rllxabethport bank's funds had he been kymographrd weekly or even monthly, according to ih<- rule likely lo is- rst.tbiiahed In banking Inslltuttons when the insirument Is put upon Hie market? What need would there be for !tet#-r!lvc. for lawyers and even for juroi* with a kymograph at hand to extraei only truth from witnesses, and a confes sion. perhaps, from the criminal? Divorce court* might pigeonhole their dockets and shut up shop, for Incomitallblllty of lent. l rameni between man and wife <-ou*l always be avoid-d hy making kymograph Ic tests before the wedding ceremony. The gro er. the coal dealer,'the plumber arid even the Ice man would live In mor tal terror of exposure, and tl e pur chaser would hove every prospect of gel ling full weight and a fair deal. Hut before making sure of these desira ble results It would he well lo Inoulrc. would nol the human mind conform in any new conditions with which It had to cope’ According lo the Darwinian the ory, organs not in uae lose ihelr form and power to perform their functions; those used most are developed and their powers aro Incriased. The same may be true of menial faculties. Should the latter develop u power to overcome tii* subtle kymographlc Influence. Ills* -Kel ior’a thought and passion recording in vention might fail flat. THE MOKMNG KEWS: MON DAY,' OCTOBER 22. 1000. THPTM V*. FAI-BF.IOO<M. Fate’s revenge on the humorist, arr-ore!- i Ing to Mark Twain, alias Samuel M. Clem ! *na. who Is Just hack from an extended r< sidence In Europe, la a loos of confl * deuce. Mr Clemen* has reached the con . lurion after much personal ownel n that people do not believe the truth, at j least not from him. I have 11l so mu h. In a genial, good-natured way, of course, that ixofd. won't believe m© when I rpoak *he truth." ho Is quoted as saying In an Interview "I may add that I have stopped speaking the truth. It Is no lon ger appreciated - -In m* Thus Mark Twain declares bo b*i- been forced by fate lo adopt fleflon as a medium by whlrh to convey truth, lie 'io©* not "lie" for the love of It. he soys, but for the love of truth, dls.emiratlng his "true views by means of a -cries of apparently humorous ttnd mcr.darlou# stories" lb o lUlr.ues; If any man * in <it> that. i*w, finds that he ran disseminate fins through the me dium of falsehood he should never apeak the truth—and f don't.” Mr Clemen*’ vlewg nr© unique und r hnraetertalic of *h© fimous humors'. However. they are not altogelher orlgl nil, sine© Ihe f.ibl© and the ulhgory have ben, frnm time Immemorial, favorite means of forcibly conveying truths Hut th© humorist m ©ms fo go further than the ■lmp © fable and allegory would warrant Tli© b-st mode of conveying truth, ac eordlng lo his way of putting It Is by falsehood, ilr Clemens has no doubt fount the groundwork for his theory in human nature of whlrh he Is on utd> nt student. Perhaps, like Burnum. who found humanity most gullible. Mirk Twain has discovered that people love to bo bamboozled. This is an use of Action, and people would rathir laugh over some imporsib;© yarn, or alud a .-llent tear over th© misfortunes of the it# lodmmallc hero ine, than exert their .motions of Joy and sorrow over the humors and tragi *ll of ordinary every-day life. It may be questioned whether falsehood, even of ihe "genial, good-natmed" k.nd lb© humorist mentions, is of more force In the accomplishment of good than truth, still there is ad- man I for It and the demand must b* supplied But then Mark Twain Is never to b© taken too t* rl. ousiy. Perhaps In Ids Interview he apptb ~ Ihe very principle he discuss. . and after all li may be only one of bis J k,*s. At tin ame time R calls forcible attention to th© growing tendency In human nature—* certainly an unfortunate one—to turn tor pleasure to fiction and fancy, ruthtr than for pleasure and Instructton to fact und truth. Kl/IMKS. Th© marvels ©f science- are unending When we got enzlme* to work there will b© few thing© that cannot be accomplish ed. Just exactly whut enxlmea are, and all the wonderful things they will accom plish. are Just now- subjects of scientific Investigation. Developments hove reach ed the stage where It Is known that en- Eime* will be valuable in many way.- os #n as they can be brought under prop er control. To the scientist ©nalmcs are known on a subtle species of liquid fer ments that arc neither microbes nor fungi, but somewhat similar to both. They are what might he denominated th© good I germs. In < ontra-dlstlnctlon to thorn which rus© plague and disease and !©- slrtadlon. Th.* Agricultural Department of the governhicnt has Just lost on. of Its most valuable scientists. Hr. Oscar lon w. who hns liro gtit the- tmt>ortant experiment with ©mimes up to their present stage . Dr. I*>e w has resigned to oaptpt ©n Im ixrisnt |s.sltlon In the Agrl*<uliural Col lege of th© Imperial University of Toklo. Jupun. Doubksw, he will continue his ex periments there- ami give the result of them to humanity. Dr. lxe w has dis covered that certain of the-st- termini* known as enztmes arc present at the cul minating stages e>f practically all th© vir ulent diseases, and that they rherk th* disease and kill ihe microbe© of typhoid, yellow fever, small-pox. diphtheria, hu bonlv plague anel other dlseo.-e-s when they have run their course. He has si last, by n eerie© of experiments, discovered an ©oxime which may b© Introduced Into the human system without harm, and hopes to demonstrate that when so used, it will check disease in its early stages and give Iho patient u much better e bailee for recovery. This enxlme. he* says, will elte solve and kill the microbes of virulent ells eaees, and offer a series of practical hos pital experiment©. Dr. leoe-w proposes to turn his discovery over to the medlral profession at large. Bui R Is not alone In the treatment of virulent disease© that enzlmcs promise to be* of great value. They will, when eie vciopeet, take on Important position In ag riculture. Th© ruring of toba to. the f.*r mentation of wine's, Ihe making of .liui fer anel chsewa art- all dept.-mien upon cer tain of these enxlme* whn-e* nature nml characteristic# are not yet generally nn ■l* rstooel Tobaccd develops the lir.)lll.i and flavor whlth give, h Its maritf value when passing through tl* rrltlril i.nge of fermctiiatlon. Dr. I*, w found ihls f'-i* nv million due lo an enxlme. which when thoroughly understood, he #>... will make R possible* lo control the curing of to bacco, raising Ihe grad© of the proiuot as may be dcslretL By somewhat similar treatment, lie* asserts, poor butter con li* given the finest quality, the qualify be ing du© lo Ihe enxlme amt not to th© cow or h. r pasturage. Wines too. may la- sim ilarly Improved anel other articles of diet raised in grade. The enxlme- which give th© value to Cuban tohen oo nnel l-'ien.'h wlne-s are not to be found In this country, they must be Imismed. Ati* that their tenure and use must b- made familiar When that Is ekme we will no longer be dependent u|K>n France and Germany f,.r fnn. v champagnes and choke old Rhine wine-, nor upe>n Cuhei for "genuine ’ Havana ci gars Georgia wlil neit hav. to send to Nr w York for her Elgin butter; she will put It Into th. market herself. Let’* hav© the ©nximes; our palates are eager for som. of those tastes which the tariff still reserves for the wealthy, Anew us© for the legal injunction has bren discovered by a Milwaukee man. He appealed lo Ihe court te mike 111- w f© stop calling him names, and the court Is -tied ihe writ. Husbands who h ive r s son to fear curtain leclures nughl make a cole of this, and by availing themselves of Ihe kind office* of the court save many unphasjut quarters of an hour. Elect ion bettors arc id* beginning to eye the window* of lIK. store* that keep . liats for sale. Gen. Ijff is not the only American who look© for ©xcltkig times wrhen the Cuban rooe'liullonul convention are millet Sev eral of th© roeresponderi's In Havana have predicted spirited dehale# In the conven tion er the matter of th-- tod'lon lo be o ai * I i*y the I’nlted hkai-s i'h rela lam <i CuU under Ihe native government. Among th© delegates elected to the con v.-fitkm are Antonio Garcia, Gen. Rivera oral two or three other able but radical I* id-rs, who have announc'd their Inten tion of Handing for an absolutely free govenun-n’, without in'erfer'i.ce or pro le* torn!© on Ih© fsirt of the Foiled Stales In the call for ih© convenlltei. Issued by Pr-sdem M-Kkly. there w-re para, graphs Indloatlng certain th i*> that It was egp<*. ted the convention woukl put Hit > the *onsUl*ir!oi* adoptrel by it, Cer tii" of Ih' riwlegalea object o even re <.i\kg • iggestlons from the Fnltrd S' o ft is easy to see therefore, that D* ■ onveutkm hobis th© |Hslbtipi© of lively time*, anti maybe also of lrouble Much of Georgia’s future- gr-aire## snd wealth depend* won the d' \■ loium-nt of her mineral resource# and water powers. That she Is particularly rich In mai'rals anti water power# Is well known. In a g.nt ral sort of way. But lnve'or* and •lev.'open are noi to be satisfied wltn g' ratal In forma Hon. They dt m.irol spt i-y informin'. '11. #< len lflc fait- The stale Geooghal Ibpartment was d-signiG fo galhtr on'l correlate such Information, for l*uh 1 use. end it ha# done a gieat 'leal of good work along Ihls line But mu.h mart '©main* lo be done. It Is lo b. hoped • hat the I-egstature will he able to see I’s way clrur lo having the work of the ih partment .onilnued To discontinue It now, when capital Is seeking Investment In Ihe itouth and authoritative data wllh respert to Georgia's resources ate In de mand, wou'd h© a mistake. Kentucky Is to have u n.w eleeßon law. but It wiil nol go into effect until after Nov. . The approaching election, there, fore, will he hekl under the Goebl law, which ha# so much trouble. It would probably have lieen conducive to hrtier f.e Ings In Kentucky If th© new law bid be©n mad© imm.'lla’.ly operative Silil. I> would have ben a lug Job to put an. w election law into operation In lest thnn Iwo weeks The chief Importation Into this country from Ihe riilllppln. Islands at present '•ms to bo sick and Insane soldiers. The transport lavgon Is now on the way bom. with a load of them. I’KIHOXAI.. —Gen Walter KHchcner. who has been praised by Sir Redvers Butler, la the brother of laird Kitchener, ami dlstln- Kul; tied himself In th-* timlurman esm palgn is eominander of communication* II went out t.i South Africa In command of a West Yorkshire battalion, and soon found himself at the head of a brigade All O-n. Kitchener's officer# from HFypi who have non© to the front hav© dlstln gulshed thrariselv©# Among them ar© Bundle, Hunter. Macdonald. Bmadwood. Kitchener the younger and Hickman. —Gov. Bayers of Texas, speaking of the reconstruction of Galveston, said to an In terviewer In Nrw York th© other day: "1 think that much can he done looking to toe safety of the newr city, but I do not believe that there will he a repetition of the frightful hurricane that visited us. If a storm of such awful proportions should strike this rlty R would utterly wreck It. You do not appreciate here the tremen dous strength of the elements as It was shown at Gslvestitn. No wife-guard o* human einstruetlon could have wilhstool It. lint such a storm Is not likely to corn s •gain; we have little fear of that.” BRIGHT II ITS. —An Easy Pari —Youth—"Oh. I don't want lo take that character. I'll make a fool of myself, sure." Malden—'"Wall, you wanted an ea*y part."—Detroit Fre 1 ‘re## —Father (who has h©!|>©d hi* son with hi home work!—"Whai (lid the teacher ray when you showed him the sums?" Johnny—"He said 1 w? getting more stupid evtty day."—Glasgow Evening Time*. —Llltl© Difference—Orest Author " Walter. Ihls sleik I* a# tough n# leather." Walter—"l've always heard you was an original character, sir; but I'm h mgrel if you don't jlst say the same as all on 'em do"'—Harlem Life. —Before the Christening.—Mr. Freeborn Jackson—"Wha.l yoh gwlne nam© tm. Ixurella?" Mrs. Jackson—"Anyffng yoh talk? Anyffng *cept Alina Is© noth ed boys o' that nm© nevuh com©* 10 no good They'# alius In Ihe poll o oo't."— Brooklyn Life. —All lluit was Needed. Caswldy "Wudn't yex lolke I' Itv© cn a farm Pal?” Caaey—'Oh, ul's th' only way t lire! Kf they only h-d titivated roads, eahle-ca-rs. pilnty av saloon*, eoneert-h II? tlnlmlnt houses, dirt, noise, ond pollcrm n on a farm. O'ld move on to a farm 10-morrow." —Judge. L't RKKYT ( OMMIWT. Th© Philadelphia Record. Ilkm.) dls , < -slug Porto Rican affairs, .-ay* "What | Porto Rico demands Is her right, under I the Constitution; and It Is our duty, as ! h 1# our Interest, to r* ■ ognlxe th© rlxht. I Urea. McKinley hi hi* lute annua! in©*- i sag- enjoined upon Congr* # as "our plain duly" th© recognition of ihi* right. I Why did Conur'-ss trample on this In junction anil pas# <1 bill repudiating the right. In pie?© ot re ognixliig il? And why. eaperlally. did tl# President himself turn around and untie with Congre*? in both of the#*- pre*'©<*ilng#? That Is what the people want to know It is what they have a tight to know, and now. if ever, I# the time for him to tell them." The New Y'ork Htaats-Zeltur.g says: The S.anh ha# almost frogotten Ihe suf t. ring? of Ihe civil war. arid In an active ourlm -■* life ceasing to lake note of th injury sh© suffered, she seek# to make -■>od In the field? of peaceful. Industrial activity what she lost in th* bloody ■■ 1 :gg|* with th'- North. Tl. South live* • n.I lops, and ha? already gone far beyond the j#-rtol of convtfle* ence. After years of uselaas ©xi>ertment:ng and cotn pialntng. she has found the true secret of her future happiness—ki'ior. business activity, ronstant employ ment.” Th- Baltimore Sun, (l>m ) has thi* to ?ay 10 young men ats>ut to cast their tlist vole "If they want ih< goklrn note of opportunity kept oi*en for thtmsilves tliey must vote for YY'llil.im J Bryan and a • Democratic Congress. The trusts, whose *>! aim I* to own and control all the business ot ihe country, will tote *oiidly for Mr. McKinley. Young men ©acer for a fair chance In Ilf* ought ta rv ed no further enlightenment a* to where their own interests lie." The Washington Post. (Ind.) say*: "Chairman J ores' latest effoi. was super fluous No sane person h-lleves thot Mr Bryan contemplate# packing the Supreme Court.” home French Jokes. Th© New York Bun presents h© fol lowing translations of some new French I jokes; Caltno was slopped in th© street by an shapin'-lookmg gentleman who asked him (lie way to—well, to Bax’er sired. "Straight ali©;wl"' said the #a*e "It * tie third street fo your right " Th© gen tleman thank**! him, botn raised ’ iherr hats aiel starred, each on tit© route. Sud denly Calino turned around and shouted; lloy! If you are left-handed, turn the other way! See!” An American, speaking fo a m-mber of ihe League Against the Abus© of To bacco. d** lured t ait s Chicago millionaire wno died recently "used to smokn three thousand hams a -lay." With a look of horror the reformer exclaimed; "It Is no wonder Ihe nfbnster died!" A member of Parliament, after • long and tiresome -speech In which he went Into Ih© dismal depths of political econ omy. whispered 10 a friend "I endeav or'd ► ■ use nothing but classic language throughout my entire tuklress ’’ "And you succeeded admirably." said his friend. "It was all Greek for your audi ence." A (vould-h© dramatic author was tn the habit of pitauing the theatrical custom er# of a ©©rtaln cafe with details of th© ikays h© Intended to write. "My (bar hoy ’’ soi l a comedian between yawns, isn’t |t about time for you fo pas* from word© fo acta?" A fragment from the conversation of two socialists: "Let us remain ever faithful to our glorious principle to divide every thing." "But wou’d that be re ally advantageous lo us in the end?" "Idiot! Of cour.-e ll would he advnnta geolis to us. since we have nothing." A Paris ha< kmtin. hailed by a country man who was dress'.l in a style well ■ wleuktred to make the city chaps laugh, shrugged his shoulder# and was aliout to drive on. when the countryman shout ed to him: "What, you refuse to lake me. although you ar© not engag'd!’* "Well, no.” sold th© cabby; "I’ll take you Just lo amuse the poor old horse!” Ttvo tramps on Ihe banks of the Belne; "How ran we raise the wind?" "I have U. You throw yourself in and I’ll Jump In nfter you and take you out Then I’|| get the reward from tho Hu mane Boclely.” "Good! Here goes!" He Jumped Into th© water. i.d after floundering about lor vane time he was getting tired out. "'Veil," he a*ke<], "how long are you going to remain sitting there? Why don’t yot* com© in and take me out?” Because 7 think I might mike more out of you tn the Morgue." Ills Early Verse Pursued Him. I do not know how early I began to write doggerel, but at 15 1 wrote a love poem, write# Thomas Dunn English In Success, It appeared In prim over my Initials, through the grace of a good natured editor. A musical composer of the town sow the lines, mnrried them to a melody, and published them This put it Into my head that 1 was a poet, and I proceed'd forthwith to continually Inflict on the public a number of verses, to whleh I incautiously affixed my name. Fortunately, these were either puNlshed In Journals now dead, or were overlooked by the public In general. Occasionally, however. I meet with some venerable gen tlewoman who soys to me: "Dortor. I have such a charming poem of yours In my scrapbook " Then I feel a creeping sensation up my backbone, for 1 kr.ow what is coming Bh© produces one of th©#© early effort*, and. on looking at it, I feel very much Ilk© th" pious deacon who exclaimed, when viewing the skeleton of a donkey: "How fearfully nnd wonderfully ar© we made!" However great your productions may seem to you at first, they are no* so great as they will he later, It Is to be hoped; and thev will be sure to rise up before you in th© literary day of judgment. Begin with an alls*, and watt to see if you can make an impression on the publlr before you unmask yourself. Thus you will save yourself much literary remorse. (Jen. Douglas and Ih© Fearless • Coward. Otn. Henry Kvd Dougin*, soldier. Ju rist. statesman and aoelal Hon. added to his long nnd Interesting career of versa ! Hilly last surnm-r by winning great ,ip- I plause and golden comment# al Ih© f.ih -i tenable cake-walk given at one of the j Northern resorts, say* th- Snturelay Even. I Ing Po*'. There Is very little that Oen I Douglas cannot <lo. H© was the chief of j staff under Son©al| Jackson and learn ed the art of war from that great general He • called one, of the mo-t fesrle-s ' nntl "Fishing rld*r* In the whole Southern I army. Among the stories he tells of hi* army •■xperl©nrst Is that of the brave-t man he every kr ew He saw a young f*|iow start to run. then halt and go forward mtrohlng Into what -©.tn ,I the v< ry Jaw of death He expo'ied a* a matter o' course (hot he wruild l>© killed. un i gave no more thought to him until nfter the battle. Hiding over Ihe field he nixed h© rash youth. He asked him what had Impelled him lo do such n hrave thing. Th© reply, after some hesitation, as follows: "Well. Colonel, ft was Just this way. ! am the worst coward on earth, and I started lo run. and I Intend..! to keep on running until I got horn©, hut all of a sud den the face of a little girl rose before me. nnd when I saw her eyes I knew 1 Just had to fight, and then I waded In and did my best." Her knrriftr©. The Rev. Cyrus T. Brady says In his Imok of missionary reminiscences: "I was once preaching about misslona. urging the congr.gallon to make some -a r’fl e for ihe missionary cause, md indicating them several methods by which thev ">uld follow my alvl©©. Among other living* I suggested that they refrain from purchasing any hook which they very much d-slred, ond donate the money to me Instead for my missionary work I happened to have perpetrat'd a book my self you will therefore understand my feelins# when a very bright woman in the congregation come up to me amt hand-d me 11 with the remark. ’I had In tend'd to buy your book and read It. Mr Brady, hut I hav* conelud©.! to follow your advice and give you ihe money for mls-lons Instead' I accepted the situa tion gracefully and the money gratefully, and told her 1 woukl lend her my own copy of the book to read Sh© smit-d ond thtyik'd me. and as she did so I voir ©d my ftiought In this way ‘But. after all, Mrs R.. there does not seem to he nny sacrifice on your port in this transsetlon. for you hvo th© happy consciousness of having given Ih© money for missions, snd yet have the book as well.' 'No saerlllce?' sh© replied. •Why, I have to read th© l*>ok!’ ’’ Invitation In Anlnnin. From Ihe Saturday Evening Post. Sylvia, where shall we fare. In this time of the burning bough. On this morn or the nmethyst air. And th© low. late robin'* vow? Prythee. wher# shat! we fare? The hill path* ©all and call. Ami you know the lure, my sweet! Over the meadow-wall Is the track for a truant's fst, Wher© the forest shadows fall. Is the answer "yea” or "nayT’ No fatrer the nenuphars Of the bland Egyptian day Than our purpling aster-star*. To guide on the upland way! Just l-qve and you and II Never ©noth* - or.© Fnder the kindly *kv Aud the old ber.isn.in’ sun!— Just Levs and you and V —Clinton Scollard ITEM? OF IYTISRF.NT. —ln hi* principles of economics Prof. Marshall say* that ptrhaps lsoo.tMi.onO an nually Is spent by the working class' # and S2.tuo.uou.noo by the rest of Ih© population of England In ways that do Ihtle or noth ing toward making life nobler or truly happier. —The remains of an ancient galley wrr© recently found six feet below Ihe surface al Tottenham marshes during tho exca vations for the new reservoir* of the Ea-t London Water Company. It Is supp> .-e*l to have b-longed to th* Danes, who were defeated in Lta Valley by King Alfred In m A. D. —The Bolivian government has appro priated about 150.M0 for the preliminary surveys of three railway line*—one from Druro to L-tti’az and Lake Titicaca, an other from Oruro to Cochahnmba, ami the third from Chailapata to Colqueschaca. A road to run from Potoet fo the Argentine boundary i* also projected. —There are three claimants of the re ward of 1250 which whs offered by the city of New Orleans (or ihe rapture, dead or alive, or the negro Hubert Charles, who?© murder ot u puilrrman precipitat ed the recent race conflict In Ihe Cre-e©nt City. Arbitrators will be a*k©>| to decide which one is entitled lo receive Ihe re ward . —On© of th© skyscrapers In New York has a daily population of S.lOtt, and the mall sent out from It averages 18,000 piece? a day. Every foriy-tive minute# a mall wagon from ihe puatoffice carries away from Ihls building about seventy-live (rounds of outgoing mail. Another New York office building nnd out 35,000 piece* of mail every week day. —An undertaker's business is advertised for sal© in on English newspaper In terms which uru hardly such us lo encourage any on© lo become a permanent resident of th© locality. After Mating tliat he Is retiring from business altogether the ad vertiser praises the town thus; "Sanitary arrangements much neglected; mortality from fev-re excessively high, total death rate 10.7 higher than any town within radius of fifty miles; one trade competi tor < arpenierl only. Excellent opening for energetic man willing to put hia heart Into th© business." —Keiinckuk, a posioiflc© In Jack* in county, Kansas, which has Just been dis continu'd by the government, was promi nent a* a stage station on the old over lii >1 route In Ihe laier 'kw It was named after u chief of Ihe Kickapoo Indian?, and ha? been listed among the poatoffi* e? of th© Fn I toil Ftates for m. r© than fifty i Th© hotel at K-nn-kuk was bull! In 1?50, and Its register con .line the etg naturcs of many prominent Am©rl. an— umong them those of Abraham Lincoln and Mark Twain. The latter mentions K. nnektik in Ills "Roughing It." —John McDonald, a Kansas Journalist who i# touring Scotland, says in a letter to one of the paper* of the Sunflower State that ho recently went Into a store In a little Hlgntand town and ln*i>ected the goods displayed (or sale, finding among them the following American prod ucts: Corn flour, canned beef, canned peaches, canned apricots, canned pear*, soap, roiled oat*, waehhoard*. churns, cheese, hums, flour, sulmon, apple*, (orkr. hoes. axes, hsmmers. ssws. Joiners' tools, brace# and bit# "Thi* partial list of thing# used in a Scotch mountain village." say# Mr. McDonald, "will give some Idea of the immense trade between the United States and Great Britain." —The Secretary of State of the United States of America must be a rich man. It will be recalled that Secretary Day retired from the office largely owing to his finan lal inability to meet Its d-mands of n -| tertolnment and social expense. Former Secretary John W. Foster has Just pub lished through Messrs. Houghton. Mifflin * Cos "A Century of American Diplo macy," In the course of which he touche# upon the duties of the offirp, the demands upon Its Incumbent's pocket, and the In evitable effect of thi# upon the furore of the country. The present salary of the Secretary of State is 18.00. which Is en tirely Inadequate to meet the necessary expenses of the position," write# the for mer secretary Other cabinet officer* mav follow their own pleasure or convenience, in great measure, a# to their style of liv ing; but are certain requirements ns to the entertainment of the diplomatic * orps. Internal! nal commi-slnns. and of ficial foreign visitors, which the head of the state defMirtment cannot omit without #• rlou# Injury to his usefulness and the i rrdlt of his government The social de mand# of th© posltK.n ar© sueh that no public man not possessed of a private for tune tan afford to accept and continue In the office for any great length of Mm© Th© places of honor and Influence In a re public should ulways be open to men of merit at-.d talent, whatever their financial standing It will be a sad day for th© country when Its high offices can b© fill ed only by rich men —Former Secretary of State John W Foster. In "A Century of Amerlctin D!- plomaey," which has but Just been pub lished for him by Messr Houghton Mif flin & Cos., exhibit# two Intereeiing tabu lations of th© growth of the United Plates or. the continent of North America, ntid in Its insular |.osse#sloi# According to th© first of these, the growth In area of th© United States on the continent of North America, ns computed l>y the commission er of the Gent ral Land Office, May 2. I*>l, Is a# follows: Sq Mile* Territory of th© original thirteen states 90*050' Louisiana purchase, ldftt.... ten am Florida, under treaty 1819 . 70 ltff 1 (Oregon, under treaty* 1848 W.t&l Texas, annexed In IMS ... ?",7!>S Ceded by Mexico, IW* Ml Hfj Ceded by Mexico, 1*53 38.211 Alaska, tin-ler treaty 15#7.... 599 416 Total continent*! territory 1.C92.115 Th© Insular territory, acquired m I*9* a# computed by th© euperlnicndent of ih© Coast Survey. May, 1900, is a* follows Sq Mile* Hawaiian Islands <5,74© Porto Hlro * *sy Philippine Islands 122.211 ° ,l ,m 175 | Tutulln. Samoan group 5,73| Total insular territory U.‘.".99 ! Under the plans determined upon by the ! directors of th© South Carolina Interstate ! and West Indian Exposition Company, the 1 main building? of th© Exposition to be hekl at Charleston n©x! year will lie tex- i tile, agrtculiure, machinery and ©leeine- j ity. minerals nnd forestry, commerce and I liberal arts, line tin?, transportation, wo. ' man's, educational and negro It Is ex pectfd tha' there will h© still o'her build- , Ings erected ufm th© Exposition ground# 1 ond thin .1 nnmlicr of h© of .(,.* 1 nton an ! r.f the < nterpr.-lng * lti©s will erect suitable structures of the display of I their (harocterietlc products nnd re sources. Th© purpose of th© Exposition Is to bring together on Southern soli re-pre- I *©nt.U!v© exhibit* of th© art*. Indu*trle* manufacture* nnd product* „f , nt! ' mine nd sea. and to lllua'rate in this way th© magnitude of the reaour©©* and possl hllltle*. particularly, of the Southern States of the Union, and of the country t Urge and In,thi* way. al the opening 1 of the new cen'ury. to .. m-nt moR- Ckwely the bon.!* which now unite the part* of this great country. In addition to these "dome*tic" exhibits, the Indus * rles and resour,-©# of Cuba. Porto Rico Mexico and the Soutb Am-rlcan republic^ nd of the Philippine, will be Illustrated n "U-'h nt innr as v. aid in Ihe develop- I ment of new ..nd cluser trad- relation? be ween the United Slate, and the market* which are wslt’ng for American exploit- i tttivo and occupancy. Ocean Steamsdlo Ga -FOR- New York, Boston —AND— the east. Unsurpassed cabin acco mmo< j,„ on ,. A „ Uia comforts of a modarn hot*L Klaclr* lights. Unexcelled (able. Tickata include meals and berths aboard ship. Passenger Fares Irora SiTaanaiL WJiSW YORK-FIRST CABIN, C FIRST CABIN ROUND TRIP 132 iv! TKRMEDIATE CABIN, 515. INTERSIK u-l-tl-? CAU,S Round trip. u< steerage, i. TO BOSTON - FIRST CABIN. US; FIRST CABIN ROUND TRIP 136. IN TERMEDIATE CABIN. Ill; INTERME DIATE CABIN ROUND TRIP. STEERAGE. 11175. Th* express steamship* of this llna ar* appointed to sail from Savannah. Central (90(h) meridian time, as # oilowi: fr.tVA.W4U TO RKW YORK. Kansas city .capt. puner. Tues day. Oct 23. 4:10 p m CITY OF BIRMINGHAM. Capt. Berg, WEDNESDAY. Oct U. 'OO p m TALLAHASSEE Capt. A.kln*, THURS DAY. Ocl. 25. 6:30 p. m CITY OF AUGUSTA. Capt. Dugge t, SATURDAY. Ocl. 27. 7:f p m NACOOOHUE, Capt. BmHh. TUESDAY. Oct. 30 10 1© p. m KANSAS CITY. Capt. Fisher, THURS. DAY. Nov 1. 71 3ft a. tn TALLAHASSEE. Capt Aekins, SATUR DAY. Nov 3. 1:30 p tn CITY OF BIRMINGHAM. Capt. Brg SUNDAY. Nov 4 200 a m CITY OF AUGUSTA Capt. Daggett, TUESDAY. Nov 6. 4:K> p m. NACOOCHBE. Capt Smith. THURS DAY. Nov. 8. 6:00 p m KANSAS CITY. Capt. Fisher. SATUR DAY. Nov 10, 7 3ft p m TALLAHASSEE, Capt. Asktns, TUES DAY, Nov. 13. 9:3ft a. m. CUTY OF AUGUST A. Capt D*g*u t THURSDAY. Nov IS. 11:30 a m CITY OF BIRMINGHAM. Capt. Berg FRIDAY. Nov 1. 12:3ft p m NACOOCHBE. Capt. Smith, SATURDAY, Nov 17. I:3ft p. m. KANSAS CITY. Capt. Fisher, TUES DAY. Nov 2ft 3:30 p. m TALLAHASSEE. Capt. Asktns. THURS. DAY. Nov. 22. 4:30 p. m CITY OF AUGUSTA. Capt. Daggett, SATURDAY. Nov. 24. nu p m NACOOCHEE. Cp4 Smith. TUESDAY, Nov. 27. 8:30 p n CITY OF BIRMINGHAM. Capt. Rerg. THURSDAY, Nov. 29 lOtftft a m KANSAS CITY. Capt. Fl*her. THURS DAY. Nov. 29. Ift (10 a m. NOTICE— Steamship City of Birming ham will nol carry passenger*. ew YORK, to uonroff. CITY OF MACON. Capt. Savage. MON DAY. Ocl. 22. noon. • CITY OF MACON. Capt. Savage, FRI DAY Oct 26. noon. CITY OF MACON. Capt. Savage. WED NESDAY. Oct 11. noon. CITY OF MACON Cap'. Savage, MON DAY. Nov. 5. 12:00 noon. CITY OF MACON. Capt. Savage, FRI DAY’. Nov 9 12:00 noon. CITY OF MACON. Capl Savage, WED NESDAY. Nov 14. J 2:( rin. CITY OF MACON. Apr. garage, MON DAY’. Nov. 19. 12 oft noon. CITY OF MACON. Capt. Swage. FRI DAY. Nov. 25, 12.00 noon. CITY OF MACON. Capl. Savage. WED NESDAY. Nov. 3. 12 oft noor*. Thla company reserve* th© right ta ehang© Its sailing# without notice and without liability or accountability there, for Pilling# New York for Savannah Ttie*. d*v. Thursday* and Saturdays 5:00 p. m W O BREWER. Clly Ticket and Pw-a enger Agent. 107 Bull street. Savannah. Ga. E W. SMITH, Contracting Freight Agent, Savannah. Ga R, O. TREZEVANT, Agent. Savannah, Ga. WALTER HAWKINS. Genera! Agent Traffic Dep't. IN W. Bay atreet, Jack sonville, Fla E H HINTON. Traffic Manager, Sa vannah, Ga P F. LE FEVRE, Manager. New Pi*r SR. North River New York N T Merclionls S Miners Tfonsportolion Go Steamship Lines To Baltimore & Philadelphia Ticket* on Sale to All Points North and Went Flrst-cla*# tickets It dud* meal* anl berth* Savannah to Baltimore ami Phila delphia. Accommodations and culaira unequaled. The etramehlps of this company are ap. pointed to fall from Savannah as follow* (Central Standard Time!: Tt) Baltimore. p. H. MILLRH. Capt. Peters. TUER PAY, Oct 23. S p. m. ITASCA. Capt. lllllupo. THURSDAT. Oct. a. S p m. pORf~HESTER. Capt. James. BATUR PAY. Oct. 27. 7 p m Salima* from Paltlmore Tuesday*. Thursday* at and Saturday* at ( hh p. m. TO I*llll-A DEI. PH lA. AIXEOHANT, Capt Poster. TUESDAY, OcA. 23. S p m. BERKSHIRE. Capt Ryan. SATURDAY, Oc. 27. 7 p. m. Saiilnar from Philadelphia every five day* at S p. m Ticker ORjre No. 11l Bull street J J CAHOL.AN, Agent. NEWCOMB COHEN, Trav A- Savannah. On. W. P TURNER. O. P. A. A. P. STEBMINS. A. T M J. C. WHITNEY. Traffic Manager General Offices. Baltimore. Md. LOADED AND EMPTY SHELLS. AHnUNITION. CANVAS HUNTING GOODS. GUNS, RIFLES AND REVOLVERS. EDWARD LOVELL’S SONS, tl.l Broughton Street. Weft. JOIIN G. BUTLER. —DEALER IN— Paint*. OH* and (JUu. Doora.BHnda and Builder*' Supplier Plain and De or *' tiv# Wall Paper. Foreign .ind I>ome*' = Cement*. Urae. Plat*r and Hair 80** Agent for AbMtlne Cold Water Pn# jo Congre** atreet. *l, and D St street. weaL ,