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"BILL” TAFT, JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
TIU CATCHING LAUGH AND TIIE HEARTY H ANDSH AKE OF THE
GOVERNOR GENERAL OF THE PHILIPPINES HAVEwSn U r
\PMIRATION and allegiance OF the Filipinos as noth
:N<; EI.SE COULD HAVE DONE—UNITE, HIS COMING io
NEW OF THE “GLAD HAND” IN THE EV
‘ Y NATIVE POLITICIAN IS AN ENTHUSIASTIC or
HANDS AND DEMOCRATIC IN THE EXTREME. °
BY JOHN E. HIGGINS.
Copyright, 1903. by T. C. McClure.
oig, burly Bill Taft, six feet fall. In
weight 300 pounds, in manner demo
cratic, in politics straight Republican,
jurist and statesman, will take up the
war porfolio which Elihu Root will lay
down next January.
It would perhaps be more dignified
to write "Hon. William H. Taft,” but
to the thousands who have grasped his
hand, heard his hearty laugh and felt
the infection of his genial “I’m mighty
glad to see you," he is "Bill” Taft. At
Yale he was sometimes called “Bull”
Taft on account of his big frame and
the determined way in which he broke
down obstructing barriers.
He has, however, no difficulty in es
tablishing his title to "Hon.” A
glance at his biography is enough.
Assistant prosecutor for Hamilton
county, Ohio; collector of internal
revenue at Cincinnati, judge of the
Superior Court of Ohio, Solicitor Gen
eral of the United States, judge of the
Sixth United States Circuit Court,
member of the Circuit Court of Ap
peals, president of the Philippine Com
mission, aj|d first civil Governor of the
Philippine, besides twice refusing a
place on the Supreme Court bench,
make a list of honorable positions that
needs not the addition of Secretary of
War to guarantee the title.
Judge Taft is of fair complexion, and
some people think he looks like ex-
President Cleveland. He is taller than
the Sage of Princeton, weighs more
and has a little more hair, although
there has been a decided thinning out
of his little brown locks in the last
few years. He wears a light brown
mustache, somewhat long. His face is
full and indicative of geniality, but a
pair of steel gray eyes, that usually
twinkle with good nature, can give
warning that his geniality is not to be
trespassed. He can get mad, but never
without reason, and heaven pity the
poor mortal who provokes his wrath.
In one respect Judge Taft is much
like ex-President Cleveland. He dis
likes to dictate to a stenographer, and
does a great deal of his own writing
by hand. Like the writing of Mr.
Cleveland, that of Judge Taft is in a
small, feminine hand that would sug
gest anything but the big man behind
it. His autograph is in as great de
mand as that of any other public man,
and he is immensely good natured
about giving it.
One result of Judge Tatt’s residence
in the Philippines has been the intro
duction of the “glad hand" in those
islands. No better proof is needed
of his democracy and his success a3 a
mixer. As he traveled from Manila
to the uttermost provinces of the
archipelago, establishing local civil
government, his loud hearty laughter
and magnetic handshake dispelled cen
turies of Spanish dignity and reserve,
and left a Democracy that would de
light the most • enthusiastic spell
binder. As an example of his influ
ence in this direction on the Filipinos,
the following will serve.
He went into the province of Bula
can to inaugurate a local civil gov
ernment. Naturally, he inquired for
the most prominent citizen of the
place, who was produced in the per
son of Senator Jose Serapio, an ex-
Captain of Spanish Volunteers and
Presidente of Malolos. The gallant
captain was stiff with dignity, and
on his uniform coat hung half a dozen
gaudy decorations received in his mili
tary and civil career. He was pre
pared for some grand ceremony, and
all the people expected to see the new
American governor appear in gold
bullion, glittering stars, shining belts
and all the blazonry of military
pomp. Instead Taft came along in a
Buit of light linen, and when pre
sented to the foremost citizen grabbed
the little fellow’s hand with a hearty
“How d’ye do? Glad to see you," and
a chuckle that startled the captain
out of his dream.
Tw'o weeks fater Capt. Serapio
received his commission as governor
of that province. When he appeared
to take office the natives were sur
prised to see him in plain white
clothes. The fine uniform and hand
some decorations were gone.
"How is this?" was the cry.
"It is no longer customary,” replied
the Captain, as he shook hands and
greeted his people in imitation of
Taft's democracy.
The Filipinos caught on, and a class
of "glad hand” politicians has arisen
in the wake of the Governor Genei’al.
'i'ou have described ‘Billy’ Taft,”
said ex-Secretary of State Day to the
late President McKinley one day in
ISM. The two were traveling on a
railroad train to Canton, 0., and
earnestly discussing the most absorb
ing administration problem at that
time—the government of the Philip
pines.
"I want a man to head the Philip
pine Commission,” said Mr. McKinley,
"ho is strong, honest and tactful.
•' man of education and executive
ability. A man fearless, but conserva
-1 iv(l . and one who will get along with
the military authorities.”
President McKinley’s schedule of
the qualities desired in the head of
the commission immediately brought
Judge Taft to the mind of Mr. Day,
and the choice was then determined.
How Taft would regard such a
proposition was another question. He'
" :,s . asked to Washington, and in
‘‘resident McKinley’s private office
there occurred a conference that
showed the stuff the future Governor
°t the Philippines was made of. There
" ; ‘n then looming up a probable va
cancy on the Supreme Court bench,
to which Judge Taft would be ap
pointed if he so elected. At this con
t renoe there were present President
McKinley, Secretary of War Root and
Judge Taft. The President and Sec
retary of War wanted Taft to go to
the Philippines, and it was left to Mr.
,; "0t to put the matter before the
Jtilge. Mr. Root had only a short
Personal acquaintance with Mr. Taft,
hut sufficient to enable him to read
s open a character.
Judge,” he said, “we need you In
the Philippines. You are now con
fronted with two propositions—an
<as y one and a hard one! You are
' ow occupying an honorable life posi
t'on on ;be federal bench with a
Prospect In the near future of reach
; ” a seat on the Supreme Court
"“neh, the goal of every lawyer’s ain
lon who puts reputation above dol
’*• You have money enough with
salary to live comfortably. You
11 remain upon the Supreme bench
" life. That is the easy proposition,
'm 'he other hand, we need you
:he Philippines You may be pre
-1 and wrecked physically by the
ses incident to that climate. Vou |
de at your post. You have the
o.a ji.Hy of being the savior of the
';•* brown men, advancing them pen*
as in civilization ir.d still be
' mod by the public for your work,
i may administer affairs with great
• tss and still Pave te (•'•I the stla?
ingratitude. You will have to re
sign your circuit judgeship. The chance
hen ?h >lnS upon the Supreme Court
Thnt h t m ‘Y n ® ver again come to vou.
wm you acep t a ?” d Propoßition ’ Which
Several hundred of his old college
n£.WhoJutv. SGen Taft take
knocks at Yale and tackle the
most unpromising propositions could
have answered for him as he did for
himself, I go to the Philippines.”
Judge Taft is not a man of fads or
fancies, except one. He is an intense,
enthusiastic, loyal, uncompromising
iale man. If you want to see his steel
gray eyes snap and flash, just reflect
upon the glory or prestige of “Old Eli."
All the honors and achievements of his
life since graduating in 1878 are noth
ing to him compared with his triumphs
in his four college years. Away out
in the Philippines it has been no un
usual thing to hear his voice raised in
the. songs of Yalensia just as he used
to sing when sitting on the college
fence with his classmates about him.
There are a hundred or more of
Judge’s Taft’s old classmates, men
prominent in business, church and pol
itics throughout the country, who
would take off their coats at any time
to fight for him. A quarter of a cen
tury has not lessened their loyalty,
and their devotion illustrates the es
teem he commanded in Yale from the
time he entered until graduation.
Young Taft went into Yale from
Andover with a choice lot of boys who
formed a clique that ruled their old
class and to a great extent the whole
college. Of this party the athletic
Taft was facile princeps. Formed by
nature for victories in the athletic field.
Taft denied his inclination and entered
the sphere of mental achievements. He
rowed, played football and practiced
How Can I Get Well?
The Plaint of the Sick and Weak, the Thin Blooded and the Emaciated Is Here Answered
at Length for the Benefit of The Morning News Readers Who Are Now, or May at
Some Future Time, Either Themselves or Some Near and Dear One, Be
in Need of the Attention of a Specialist in Chronic Diseases.
The Subject Is Discussed from All Standpoints, So That from Whatever View You May
Judge the Matter, Whether from the Standpoint of Experience, Knowledge, In
tegrity or Facilities, if You Are Earnest in Wanting to Be Cured, Dr. J.
Newton Hathaway is the Doctor for You to See, for He Fills
All These Requirements of a Specialist-Read What
the People Say Whom He Has Cured.
By J. NEWTON HATHAWAY, Doctor of Medicine.
I have always labored in the belief
that if one profession more than any
other required painstaking, conscienti
ousness and persistent study that pro
fession assuredly was the practice of
medicine. I began its study as a young
man nearly two generations ago, and
early in my career saw the importance
ef making a study of Chronic Diseas
es. While these, at first glance, cover
a wide range of subjects, yet on closer
study it will be seen that they are so
closely allied as to be, in fact, but a
single study.
To this end I perfected myself in the
leading medical academies of the Uni
ted States and afterwards in the lead
ing hospitals, as physician in attend
ance, for it is generally admitted that
for a young doctor the best experience
is to be had in hospitals, where the
work is thoroughly diversified owing
to the wide range of cases that come
there for treatment.
With this college and hospital
knowledge as a basis, I later journey
ed to Europe and studied in the same
fields abroad for many years. I then
came back to my native country and
began the practice of medicine in a
professional way and met with in
stantaneous success, owing to the fact,
no doubt, that I had perfected myself
in a special field. Chronic Diseases.
An assertion that is true should not
be considered a boast, and X believe
that I am saying the truth when X as
sert that in two generations of my ex
perience as a specialist I have cured
more men and women and children of
chronic diseases than any other spe
cialist whose cures are a matter of
public record. I have from time to
time announced the names of people I
have cured, always with their consent,
but these are. after all, only an infiin
itesimal number compared to the let
ters from former patients that I have
in my private vaults, stating in their
own words that I have cured them.
It is true there are a few unthink
ing and always prejudiced people who,
to a certain extent, hold it against me
that I permit the newspapers to pub
lish accounts of my success with pa
tents. but these should stop to consid
er that it takes a man of genuine
ability in his profession to invite peo
ple day after day to avail themselves
of his skill, for were he not the skilled
practitioner that he claimed to be he
would soon run a swift and destruct
ible course. The fact that a man can
continue year after year in the public
IMMEDIATE RELIEF FOR RHEUMATISM.
This is to certify that I have suffered from Rheumatism for four
years. Have been treated by the best physicians, but got no relief.
Seven days ago I commenced treatment with Dr. Hathaway, and am
able now to work. The third application relieved the pain, and I feel
as well as usual now. but expect to continue the month's treatment. I
can cheerfully recommend the treatment. Very respectfully yours,
Kirkwwod, Ga. R. L. REAGIN.
MISS WILLIE HINES
Of Rosette. I’Ja., n Sufferer with Tumor
nf Breast mid Female Trou
ble. Writes s
Dr. J. Newton Hathaway:
Dear Doctor —I think that I can
safely snv that I am cured, and do not'
think I need any more medicine. I
would not .• been alive now if I had
not taken .our uentmen'.. Your friend,
<Mt.S ) Wt’.BXE HINSB.
?losc*m*. On.
u... J. fJSWTON HATHAWAY,
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY. NOVEMBER 29. 1903
in the gymnasium only enough to keep
his body in trim. He was not so de
voted to his books, however, that he
failed to respond when his class was in
a rush, row or contest of any kind. He
was always in the fore front of the
fray.
His father. Alphonso Taft, Secretary
of War and Attorney General under
Grant, and in the diplomatic service
under Arthur, was a Yale graduate,
and he wanted his son to take high
honors from his alma mater. Bill did
not disappoint his parent. He grad
uated second in a class of 120, and was
salutatorian and class orator.
“I’H never be content uitil I throw
Bill Taft again,” laughingly said Her
bert W. Bowen, minister to Venezuela,
one evening while in Washington con
ducting negotiations for the settlement
of the Venezuelan imbroglio. Mr.
Bowen was a member of the same class
with Taft at Yale. They were the two
biggest fellows in the college, and a
friendly rivalry existed between them
as to strength and ability to wrestle.
Bowen was a little taller, but Taft
was the heavier of the two. They were
pretty evenly matched in wrestling.
“Up to our last year it was about
a stand off between us,” said Minister
Bowen, “but I think I had just a shade
the better of him. In the last week of
the commencement of 1878 we had two
or three rounds, and Taft threw me. I
will never be satisfied until I have an
other go at him.”
Mr. Bowen’s wish may be gratified.
When Judge Taft gets settled as Sec
retary of War and Minister Bowen
comes to Washington on a leave of
absence there Is nothing to prevent
their having an old-fashioned wrest
ling bout. President Roosevelt can
take them up to his gymnasium in the
attic of the White House and act as
umpire While the pair have it out on
the mat used by the President in his
wrestling exercises. It would be safe
money to bet on Bowen. Taft has laid
on flesh of recent years, and now tips
the beam at 310.
Since Judge Taft's residence in the
Philippines physical bulk has become
a badge of rank among the Filipinos.
They imagine that every big man must
be a high official. Judge Taft is their
hero. Another man they have respect
for on account of his avoirdupois is
Mr. Ferguson, the disbursing officer of
the Philippine Commission. He rivals
Gov. Taft in weight, and he is respect
ed accordingly by the natives. It is
said that should Ferguson be a candi
date for appointment to the vacancy
that will be created when Taft leaves
eye is to my mind, proof positive that
his statements as to his skill in curing
diseases are carried out.
I have practiced my profession in
Savannah many years, and the fact
that my practice has grown from year
to year, and the further fact that more
patients consult me by letter or by
person in the course of a week than
DR. HATHAWAY,
Recognized as the Oldest Established and Most Successful
Specialist.
JOHN VINCENT.
Who Paid SIOO to Other Doctors
Writes:
■
Dr. J. Newton Hathaway:
Dear Sir—Before I began your treat
; ment 1 was almost dead. I had spent
;
of them had done me any good. When
I commenced your treatment I began
to improve at once, and now I am a
well man and feel nothing like the
same person.
I thank you very much for what you
have done for me. Yours truly.
JOHN VINCENT.
Vindale. Ala.
the commission,his large size will be a
recommendation. He will remind the
Filipinos of Taft, who has so thorough
ly commanded their obedience and re
spect.
In all the positions he has held Judge
Taft has never changed in his man
ner. His characteristics have remain
ed the same, and when he reaches
Washington as Secretary of War the
thousands who know him predict that
his laugh will be just as loud, his hand
shake as hearty, his good humor as
infectious as they were in college, in
court circles or away off in the Phil
ippines. He will throw himself back in
his chair and enjoy a good story with
as much zest as he ever did. Taft is
not much of a story teller himself, but
he is at all times bubbling over with
good humor; so that while his narra
tives may not always be pointed and
witty, they are bound to create a
laugh by the very force of his good
humor. He likes to chaff those who
are disposed to put on officials airs and
dignity. His associates on the Philip
pine Commission have frequently been
the object of his Jokes, and he has
the faculty of infecting those about
him with his own manners and good
spirits.
“X was not a month with Judge
Taft until I was shaking hands with
everyone I met and greeting them witli
a laugh,” said Rutherford Corbin, son
of Maj. Gen. Corbin, who was Gov.
Taft's secretary for some two years in
the Philippines. “1 never saw any
one who could so thoroughly dominate
everybody about him and saturate
them, as it were, with his own genial
ity.”
Gov. Taft is as strong in his dislikes
as he is in his likes. Soon after reach
ing the Philippines he came in con
flict with Gen. MacArthur. A bitter
feeling grew up, and as Judge Taft
felt he was in the right, the coolness
still prevails. He had a difference also
with Gen. Chaffee, but it was alto
gether good natured. They argued their
points with each other and were on the
most intimate terms during the whole
controversy, always addressing each
other by their first names. The trou
bles grew out of a conflict between the
civil and military governments, and
each considered himself in the right.
—Little Words of Kindness—Miss
Smirk—“l can't help it if the men all
turn and look at me; can I, dear?”
Miss Cuts—"No, I suppose not, since
you can’t see that your hair is falling
down your back, darling.”—Cincinnati
Commercial-Tribune.
many other physicians or specialists in
a year, should, it seems to me. be
taken as additional evidence not only
of my skill, but of my integrity. While
it is true that I carry announcements
in the press, yet it is also true that I
never permit anything to appear in
these announcements that is in any
way misleading, nor does a statement
Call if You Can; Otherwise Write the Doctor.
Dr. Hathaway prefers that all pros
pective patients should call on him at
least once, so that he may have the
pleasure of a personal acquaintance
at the outset. However, he realizes
that it is inconvenient for many to
comply with this suggestion, and for
these he has evolved a Self Home
Treatment that has met with wonder
ful success. Some of the testimonials
would seem to prove this beyond
doubt. This Home Treatment Is an
exact duplicate of the treatment ap
plied at the office, and it is just as ef
fective. The majority of chronic dis
eases can be treated successfully at
home, the person himself or herself
applying the treatment, and if vou
have any doubt whether your case can
be successfully treated this way, write
Dr. Hathaway in your own words how
vou suffer, and he will write you a
long letter In reply, giving you partic
ulars.
The doctor is the author of many
25A BRYAN STREET, SAVANNAH. GA.
Office Hours: 9 a. m. to U m., J to 5, 7 to 9 p. m. Sundays 10 a. m. to 1 p. in.
CRACK MILITARY COMPANIES.
Many of Them Will Attend the
World’* Fair and Participate la
the Festlvltten.
St. Louis, Nov. 28.—Many of the
leading military organizations of the
United States will attend the World's
Fair at St. Louis in 1904. Already
fifty different organizations have been
assigned dates, and Col. E. C. Culp,
secretary of the Committee on Cere
mony, is in correspondence with otßers.
It is thought that every (My during
the fair one or more such organizations
will be on the grounds and give drills
and participate in parades.
The exposition management is en
couraging such gatherings. Commod
ious quarters in the Western section of
the grounds have been provided. At
first it was designed to furnish tents,
but the plan was changed, and now
most comfortable barracks are to be
provided. The members of the organ
ization will be required to pay out one
admission into the grounds. After
that they may go and come, as long
as they are in uniform, on a pass is
sued by the commander of their or
ganization. Quarters in the barracks
will be furnished free. Each man will
be furnished a cot, but he will be ex
pected to supply his own linen and tow
els. A mess, in charge of a com
petent official, will be established and
the men may purchase meal tickets for
25 cents each.
The gi*and plaza, a tract 300 feet
broad, and 600 feet long, paved with
burnt clay, and as level as a floor,
makes an ideal parade ground, and this
will be at the disposal of the organ
izations. The Various companies are
arranging for stays of from five to
ten days.
—Frank E. Hufnail was the only
Democrat successful in the recent elec
tion in Montgomery county. New York,
which is normally Republican by about
1.500. He was elected county clerk. A
Democratic paper, In its advocacy of
Hufnail, who is small of stature and
has seven children, hit upon this:
"President Roosevelt discouraged race
suicide. President Roosevelt is a great
and wise President. Therefore, take
President Roosevelt’s advice and vote
for Hufnail for county clerk, the lit
tle man with the big family." This
paragraph was widely quoted and it Is
believed secured Hufnail many Repub
lican votes.
over appear that I cannot corroborate.
I have been among you for a great
many years and the readers of The
Morning News who have accepted of
my skill know this to be a fact.
I am free to admit that I am eager
to secure all the patients that I can
give my personal attention to, but
that is the case with all of us in what
ever walk of life. The Question that
should be uppermost in the mind of a
sick person who contemplates placing
himself in my care should be: "Can
he cure me?” If the person Investi
gates my claims and finds them sub
stantiated, then he should place him
self in my care. The very fact that a
person goes along year after year in
face of the fact that he has from time
to time had medical attention is proof
positive that those who were treating
him or her did not understand the
case. Eight out of every ten patients
I hare ever had were chronic suffer
ers, who had spent almost their last
dollar on various methods of treat
ment without receiving any benefit. In
this condition they came, sufferers for
years and years, and yet I cured them
permanently. Is not this something
to be proud of—to be able to do that
which many others cannot do?
As I have already stated, I have
been a specialist for two generations
of years, and it may be supposed that
in all those years I have been able to
evolve a system of cure exclusively
my own; and yet I have not been
blind to the achievements of others. I
adopt the best points in all methods
if I know them, from personal experi
ence, to be practical and productive of
cures. I really believe that there is
not a chronic disease of any nature
that I cannot cure in a reasonable
length of time, and cure permanently
—for I do not consider temporary
cures as worthy of mention.
I realize that there are many who
live too far from Savannah to visit me
in person, or who for other reasons
find it inconvenient to do so, and yet
would like very much to consult me
regarding their condition, and for the
benefit of these I conduct a corre
spondence department, to which I de
vote my most careful consideration.
Any sick person can write me, asking
as many questions as they please, and
I will answer them In detail free of
charge. It Is not necessary to Inclose
return postage. In each letter I also
Inclose a treatise of my writing on the
subject of the disease to aid the pa
tient in a clearer understanding of his
case.
medical books which In themselves
compose a miniature library. He sends
these out free of charge to all who
write him of their sickness. The list
for free distribution comprises eight
titles, as follows; 1, diseases of the
vital organs; 2, throat, lungs, catarrh;
8, female diseases (new edition); 4,
stricture; 5, varicocele: 8, blood poi
son (modern edition); 7, kidneys,
bladder; 8, nervous debility and weak
nesses of men (enlarged new edition,
up to date). Write to the doctor for
the book in the above list that will In
terest you most, and describe your
case in your own words, so that he can
study the matter and tell you exactly
what alls you and what to do to be
cured; with his answer he will send
you the book you want, free of charge.
Let no one hesitate to prite. if he
cannot call in person as the doctor is
oniv too glad to do this for any sick
person, no matter where he or she
lives, and without cost.
UNCLE MINGO ON THE WORLD'S FAIR.
tSage of ’Possum Hoi--
low Tells How to
Make It a Good
BY W. T. WILLIAMS.
“Uncle,” said the waiter, “I spose
you went to see de fair wile it was
goin' on.”
“Wy, yes,” said Uncle Mingo, "I
’lowed to myself dat we ought to all
try an’ do our little bit to help along
sich a good enterprise, and encourage
’em all we kin. So one afternoon I hap
pen to be wisltin' a frien’ wot lib
cross de Bilbo rlbber out on de Waters
road, an’ as I see by de paper people
could go een free een de afternoon I
went dere an’ gone een. So I walk
roun’ a wile, an’ enjoyed myself wer
ry well.”
"Is you goin’ to the St. Louis Expo
sition nex’ year?” asked the waiter.
“I will if X kin,” said Uncle Mingo.
“Ebble time dey has one o’ dem big
fairs I always tink I kin git to de nex’
one, but I ain’t been to none o’ dem
yet.”
"I guess dat will be a good show,”
said the waiter.
“It sho will,” said Uncle Mingo, "if
dem good ole ladies up Nort’ kin hab
deir way ’bout it.”
*'Wy, wot does dey want to do?”
asked the waiter.
“Dey was hol'ln’ a convention some
w’eres,” said Uncle Mingo, "some big
society, an’ dey pass a resolution axin’
de management ob de fair to allow
dem to sen' long a committee ob good
ole ladles from dier society to ennspec’
an’ 'cide on de properness ob all de
various shows een de exposition
groun’s, an' likewise for a mile or two
outside de groun's.”
“Geemaneddy!” exclaimed the wait
er, "dat come close to bein' de mos'
comical ting I ebber did hear! How
did de exposition people answer dem?”
“Walt a minute,” said Uncle Mingo;
“an’ I’ll read you wot dey say.”
He turned the paper about for a
while, and then made a show of find
ing the article looked for.
“Here it is,” he said; and then with
the utmost gravity, pretended to read
as follows:
“ 'Honored Madams: We feels high
ly flattered by year condescendib’ at
tention an’ obligin’ offer, an' we takes
great haste an’ pledger een awallin'
ourself ob de same. As many ob you
as kin make it conwenient to come, is
quite welcome to wisit an’ inapec’
ebble show on de groun's, on payment
ob de usual an’ customary triflin’ charge
ob admission. At de same time, een
de case ob a few ob de side shows.
KITTEN WAS THE ANTE.
A Tno-Cnt Limit Game of Poker
Played by Hermits.
From the Baltimore Sun.
The strangest poker game ever play
ed in Western New York was fought
out two weeks ago by Pete Snelling of
Hamlin, better known as the “Cat Her
mit,” and “Old Man” Booker of Clark
son, likewise a recluse and something
of a cat fancier. The two men live
about one mile apart, with the town
line between them. It was In reality
town against town, with cats for chips.
The game grew out of professional
jealousy, as each of the players pre
tended to be the boss hermit in point
of years, hard luck and number of
cats. East August Old Man Booker
happened to meet Pete at the village
store, and among other things de
clared that when it came to poker he
could make Pat Sheedy hunt cover.
"I am strong on it,” he announced;
“I'm quite a cuss with the paste
boards myself.” said Pete.
"Dare you to meet me!” cried the
Old Man.
“I’m for that. What shall we play
for?" asked Pete.
Old Man Booker scratched his rough
chin and thought deeply. Then he had
an inspiration.
"How are you fixed for cats?” he
asked.
"Got about fifty and twenty kittens,”
replied Pete.
"Ail right; let's play for cats,” said
Booker.
So it was agreed, and two weeks ago
the game was pulled off. Booker col
lected his feline assets and carted them
over to Pete’s tumble-down farmhouse.
Pete had his chips meowing and spit
ting in an empty room, and no time
was lost In bringing out a greasy deck
of cards and the game began on a kit
ten ante and two-cat limit.
On the first hand Pete straddled the
ante for one cat, but his boost began to
eat up Booker’s kittens.
"I’m not going to lose my edge that
way,” declared Booker. "If you want
to fight cats I've got some thorough
breds In that crate.”
A compromise was effected by bring
ing in two big boxes with stout covers,
one for kittens and one for cats. Book
er refused to play and Pete pulled down
the stakes.
On Booker's deal it went into a Jack
pot, and both up a kitten, as neither
had openers.
"Change a cat for me?” requested
Pete.
Booker pushed two kittens across the
board.
On the next deal Booker opened for
two cats and Pete drew cards 'and
boosted the sweeting one kitten. Book
er drew to a pair of queens and caught
a small pair. Pete split a pair of Jacks
and found a straight.
"Oh, I’ll bet a kitten," said Booker.
"See your kitten and raise you two
cats," Pete came back.
Booker called and lost.
For the next six hands they simply
swapped kittens back and forth without
getting any action. Then on a Jack-pot
Booker opened for one cat, holding pat
a club straight, nine high.
Pete discarded a queen of hearts and
caught the ten of diamonds, which gave
him a diamond straight, ten high. Then
the cats flew into the box fast and fu
rious.
The boxes began to get a bit crowd
ed and a vacant room was used to ac
cumulate the chips. Both men left
their cards on the table and stood by
their respective cats. As each called
his raise he would grab the limit by
the necks and toss them into the pot.
"See here, Snell, I’m out of cats, but
I’ve got a show for my stakes,” an
nounced Booker as he threw in two kit
tens and went shy a cat.
"Well, Book, we'll show hands now
or seal up the cards until you can raise
more cats. It’s a shame to take your
cats. I wish you'd call me.”
“Not by a long chalk; Snell. I’ll
never lay down on this hand. I’ll die
first. Give me ten hours to hustle in
for more cats and then we'U show up.”
wich has been cackerlated mo’ ’special
ly for de eddication an' ’lightenment ob
de male seek, we tlnk it would be mo’
adwisable to hab de inspection tu'n
ober to a committee fuom from mongst
de bredren ob de congregation, wich
we feels confident de bredren would
highly enjoy de same. Howsomebber,
as a business impropositlon, we will
be willin’ to gib you ail a free roun’
trip scursion ticket to ebble one ob de
shows, on de understands’ dat you
will afterwards suckellate de impres
sion abroad dat some ob de features is
little mo’ wusser dan dey really it.
“ ’We likewise has no objection to
your correctin’ de abuses een de shows
a mile or two oatside de groun’s, an'
only wenture to sugges dat you don’t
let de good work stop so short, but dat
you exten’ your waluable ministrations
to de warlous shows at a somewot mo’
greater distance, like dem een Chi
cago an’ Denver an New Orleans an’
Waycross an' Cinchinnater an Coney
Islan.’
“ 'Een de Hall ob Statuary you will
no doubt fin’ a good deal to often’ your
idees of de propereties, an' it would
be a good plan to hab a special com
mittee from the sewin' society to see
dat de statues Is all properly an’ mod
es’ly perwided wid suitable
As to de picters, you kin look dem
ober, decide on de few wot you regards
as fit to be expose to de public eye,
an' ob de res’, make a bon-flre een de
back yard. We has no doubt dat de
painters an' de owners an' de ’zibltors
ob de said picters will gladly abide by
your Judgment een de matter.
“ ’You should also hab a committee
on de refreshments who shill see dat
no kin' of intoxicatin’ liquor ain’t sol’
now’ere's widin’ 100 miles ob de show,
an’ at de head of dat committee we
sugges’ dat you put Sister Carrie Na
tion, or wotebber name Sister Carrie
mought be sailin’ under at dat time.’ ”
“I wonder,” said the waiter, "how
de good ole ladies come to make sich
a werry remarkable request’.”
"You know," said Uncle Mingo, "dat
wile curiosity ain’t by no means no
uniwersal failin' ob de fair seek, yet
dere is some few o' dem wot possess
de qualification een a mo' or less mi
nor degree. Well, ebble time dey goes
to one o' dese big shows dey sees dat
some o' de features appears to be for
de male seek, an’ dey gits to ’lowin’
dat dem mus’ be de bes’ part ob de
whole business. So dey gits togedder
an’ considers dat dis is a werry good
way for dem to see also likewise. I
hate to say sich a ting, but I is really
werry much surprised at dem good ole
ladles for wantin’ to go to sich
places.”
This was agreed to and inside of six
hours Booker drove up with twenty
cats and six kittens. The limit was
raised and the whole bunch of furry
chips were deposited in the fighting
cat-pot and the cards were unsealed.
Thus did Snelling win the cat poker
championship of Western New York
and Incidentally break Old Man Booker.
—The last of the Barrymores has
ceased struggling against destiny and
become an actor. This is Jack, young
est of the three children of Maurice
Barrymore, and as generously gifted
with the family beauty as the other
two. He had intended to become an
artist, and his drawings showed a high
degree of talent and a very Doresque
and morbid Imagination in one so
young. The most youthful of the Bar
rymores looks more like his father than
any of the others and enjoyed a social
popularity equal to his sister’s.
THEY ACTUALLY
DO THE WORK.
Food Eaten Is Worthless I’nless Di
gested—Some Stomachs Must
Have Help.
Food taken Into the stomach which,
from the nature of the food or the
condition of the stomach, is not di
gested, is worse than no food at all.
This is a true statement as far as it
goes and a great many dyspeptics go
only this far with their reasoning.
They argue with themselves that be
cause their stomachs do not do the
work given them, they must be given
less work; in other words, they must
be starved.
It would be Just ash sensible for a
business man who Is unable to do all
his own work to cut down his business
to his own capacity as it is for a man
to starve himself to relieve his stom
ach. The sensible business man em
ploys help and goes forward with his
business. Likewise the sensible dys
peptic will employ help for his stom
ach and give his body proper nourish
ment.
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets actually
do the work assigned to them. They
relieve weak and overburdened stom
achs of a great portion of digestive
action. Their component parts are
Identical with those of the digestive
fluids and secretions of the stomach,
and they simply take up the grind
and carry on the work just the same
as a good, strong, healthy stomach
would do it.
On this account Stuart’s Dyspepsia
Tablets are perfectly natural in their
action and effects. They do not cause
any unnatural or violent disturbance
in the stomach or bowels. They them
selves digest the food and supply the
system with all the nourishment con-,,
tained In what is eaten and carry out
Nature’s plans for the sustenance and
maintenance of the body.
How much more sensible Is this
method than that employed by many'
sufferers from weak stomachs. By
this means body and brain get all the
good, ’ nutritious food they need and
the man is properly nourished and
equipped to carry on his work and
perform his duties. He could not pos
sibly be in proper working condition
by starving himself or employing
some new fangled, insufficient food
that does not contain enough nutri
ment for a year-old baby. A strong
man doing strong work must be
properly fed and this applies to the
brain as well as the body.
Stuart’s Dyspepsia Tablets, by re
lieving the stomach of its work, en
able it to recuperate and regain its
normal health and strength. Nature
repairs the worn and wasted tissues
just as she heals and knits the bone
of a broken limb, which is of course
not used during the process of repair.
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets are for
sate by all druggists at 60 cents a
box and they are the one article that
the druggist does not try to sell some
thing in the place of that’s "Just as
good." Their unqualified merit and
success and the universal demand for
them has placed them within the
reach ot everyone.
7