Newspaper Page Text
fart two.
MR. DOOLEY
ON c
THE POLITICAL PROSPECTS.
By F. P. DUNNE.
Copyright, 1904, by McClure, Phillips & Cos.
“I see,” said Mr. Hennessy, “that th’
Dimmycrats have gr-reat confidence.”
“They have,” said Mr. Dooley. “Th‘
Dimmycrats have gr-reat confidence,
th’ Raypublicans ar-re sure, th’ Pop
ylists are hopeful, th’ Prohybltionists
look f’r a landslide or a flood or what
jver you may call a prohybition vic
thry, an’ th’ socylists think this may
be their year. That’s what makes pol
itics th’ gr-reat game an’ th’ only wan
to dhrive dull care away. It’s a game
iv hope, iv jolly-ye'er-neighbor, a con
fidence game. If ye get a bad hand
at poker, ye lay it down. But if ye get
a bad hand at polities, ye bet ye’er
pair iv deuces as blithe as an English
man who has jus’ lamed the game out
iv th’ spoortin’ columns iv th’ London
Times. If ye don’t win fair, ye may
win foul. If ye don't win, ye may tie
an’ get th' money in th’ confusion. If
it wasn’t such a game, wud there be
Dimmycrats in Vermont, Raypublicans
in Texas, an’ Prohybitionists in th’
stock yards ward? Ivry year men
crawl out iv th’ hospitals where they’ve
been since last iliction day to vote th’
Raypublican ticket in Mississippi.
There's no record iv it but it’s a fact.
To-day th’ Dimmycrats will on'y con
cede Vermont, Maine an’ Pinnsylvanya
to th’ Raypublicans, an’ th’ Raypubli
cans concede Texas, Allybammy an’
Mississippi to th’ Dimmycrats. But it’s
arly yet. Wait awhile. Th’ wurruk
iv th’ campaign has not begun. Both
sides is inclined to be pessimistic. Th’
consarvative business man who thinks
that if a little money cud be placed in
Yazoo City, th’ prejudice again Rosen
' felt, which is on’y skin deep annyhow,
iud be removed, hasn't turned up at
i headquarters. About th’ middle iv Oc
tober, the Raypublican who concedes
I Texas to th’ Dimmycrats will
: be dhrummed out iv th’
party as a thraitor an’ ye’ll hear
that th’ Dimmycratic party in Maine
is so cheered be th’ prospects that his
friends can’t keep him sober.
"Th’ life iv a candydate is th’ hap
piest there is. If I want annything
pleasant said about me, I have to say
it mesilf. There’s a hundhred thou
san’ freemen ready say it to any
! candydate an’ say it strong. They ask
nawthin’ in rayturn that will require
a civil service examination. He starts
in with a pretty good opinyon iv him
silf based on what his mother said iv
him as a baby, but be th’ time he's
I heerd th’ first speech iv congratula
tion. he begins to think he had a cold
an' indiffi’rent parent. Ninety per cint.
iv th’ people who come to see him tell
him he’s th’ raos' pop'lar thing that
iver was an’ will carry th’ counthry
like a tidal wave. He don’t let th’ oth
ers in. If annybody says annything
about him less frindly t|hin Jacob Riis,
he knows he’s either a sore-head or is
in th' pay iv th’ other campaign com
ity. Childher an’ dogs ar-re named
afther him, pretty women an’ some
iv th' other kind thry to kiss him an’
th' newspapers publish pitchers iv him
as he sets in his libry with his brows
wrinkled in thought iv how fine a man
he is. Th’ opposition pa-ayers don’t
get up to th' house an’ he niver sees
himsilf with a face like Sharkey or
reads that th' reason he takes a bath
in th’ Hudson is because he is too
stingy to buy a bath-tub f’r th’ house
an’ prefers to sponge on th’ gr-reat
highway belongin’ to th’ people.
"If he hasn’t done much to speak iv,
bis frinds rayport his small but hand
some varchues. He niver punched his
wife, he sinds his boys to school, he
loves his counthry, he shaves with a
safety razor. A man expicts to be
ilicted Prisidint iv th’ United States,
Hinnissy, f'r th’ fine qualities that th'
' -rest iv us use on’y to keep out iv th’
pinitinchry. All th’ time th' rayports
from th’ counthry become more an'
more glowin’. Th’ tidal wave is ris
ln’ an’ soon will amount to a landslide.
Virthry is perched upon our banners
I'm’ has sint f’r th’ fam’ly. F’r th’
■ pimmycratic candydate th’ raos' glow
|iri’ rayports iv gains come fr’m New
■ I'.ngland, where there is always most
■room f'r Dimmycratic gains. F’r th’
■Raypublican, th' news fr’m th’ South-
$27.75
—TO—
NEW YORK
and Return
—VIA—
Ocean
Steamship
Company.
Tickets. Including meals and
stateroom berths, will be sold
for
Steamship
Scheduled to Sail
Wednesday, Aug. 17,
9:S ® a. m., limited to Sept.
1 for return passage.
For reservations and fur.
>cr Information apply at
Ticket Office, 37 Hull street.
PH ON EH s.
Jsabamwb illumine)
west is so cheerin’ as to be almost in
credible or quite so. But ilicition day
comes at last. Th’ people iv this gr-reat
counthry gather at th’ varyous temples
iv liberty in barber shops an’ livery
stables an’ indicate their choice iv
evils. A gr-reat hush falls on th'
land as th’ public pours out iv th’ side
dures iv th’ saloons an’ reverently
gathers at th’ newspaper offices to
await with baited breath th’ thrillin’
news fr’m th’ first precinct iv th'
Foorth Ward iv Sheboygan, Wis. An'
thin again we hear th’ old but niver
tiresome story: Texas give a Dimmy
crat majority iv five hundherd thou
san’, but will reopen th’ polls if more
is necess’ry; th’ Dimmycrats hope iv
th’ prisint ratio is maintained th’ Ray
publican victhry in Pinnsylvania will
not be unanimous. An’ wan candydate
rayceives six millyon votes an’ is over
jvhelmingly deSeated an’ th’ other
rayceives five millyon, nine hundhed
thousan’ an’ is triumphantly ilicited.
An’ there ye ar-re.
“Why, Hinnissy, wanst whin I was
in pollytics, me an’ Willum O’Brien
put up a German be th’ name iv
Smeerkase or some such name f’r
aldherman f’r th’ fun iv th’ thing. It
was a gr’reat joke an’ aven th' Dutch
man knew it. But before he’d been
r.ommynated two w'eeks, he begun to
take it seeryous. ‘They’se a good
dale iv dissatisfaction in th’ ward with
til’ prisint aldherman,’ says he, *an
ye know I’ve lived here a long time
an’ I’m popylar with th’ boys.
Sthranger things have happened thin
iv this joke was to turn out thrue.’
‘Well,’ say I, ‘if ye’re ilicted I want
ye to make me Uncle Mike Chief iv
Polis. He’s licked thim all an’ he
raaly holds th’ job ex-protpria vigore,
as th’ Supreme Coort wud say,’ says I,
‘Sure I will,’ says Smeerkase. Well,
he come into me place ivry day to
tell me how his campaign was get
tin’ on. He had assurances fr’m more
people thin there were in th’ ward
that they’d vote f’r him. He had
his pitcher took an’ hung on th’ til
lygrafy poles. He hired a man to
write his ohichury fr’m th’ time he
took his first glass iv beer as a baby
to th’ moment when th’ indignant cit
izens Iv th’ Sixth ward arose an’ de
manded that they shud crowd their
suffrage on him. That meant me an’
O’Brien, d’ye mind? He got up a
mass meeting with bands an’ oalceem
lights an’ th’ hall was crowded while
he talked not on’y broken, but be hi
wins, poolverized English on th’ is
sues iv th’ day. Well, Hinnissy, ye
know ’tis not on’y th’ candydate him
silf that’s confident, it’s ivrybody
around him. An’ befure t'h’ iliction
come, I begun to think that maybe
me frind did have a chance, so I wint
around to see him. He was disthrib
utin’ th’ spendln’ money f’r th’ polls
an’ I had to fight me way in. ‘Glad
to see ye, Misther Dooley,’ says he.
‘I wanted to tell ye that I’m sorry I
can’t aippint ye’er Uncle Chief iv Polis.
I’ve inquired into his charackter,’ says
he, ‘an’ ’tis not up to th’ standard.
Besides,’ he says, ‘l’ve promised th’
job to th’ Amalgamated Union iv Can
Openers, who ar’re with me to a man.’
‘Ar’re ye that sure yere goin’ to be
ilicted that ye’ve already broken ye’er
ante-iliction promises?’ says I. ‘My,
but it’s you that ar’re th’ hurried
stateman.’ ‘lt’s all over,’ siays he.
‘l’ve ordhered th’ flowers f’r me disk
in th’ council.’ ‘Make mine'a gates
ajar,’ Says I an’ wint me way. How
manny votes did he get? Eight.
That was th’ amount. ‘Where did
he get thim? says I to O’Brien. ‘They
were some we cudden’t use,’ says he.
‘They belonged to a Bohaymian in th’
foorth precint, but I give them to
Smeerkase.' He's a good fellow, says
ha.
“What’s me opinyon iv th’ campaign?
Sure, what's th’ use iv breakin’ up
anny man’s happy dhream be fellin'
him th’ thruth? If anny fellow citizen
iv mine can get four month’s complete
injymint out iv life with nary a care
or worry but ivry day th' glad hand
an’ th’ rainbow iv hope in th' sky, it’s
not me will spile his game. An’ it
wudden't do anny good annyhow. Sup
posin’ Thaydoor Rosenfelt was to
dhrop in here an’ ask me opinyion iv
th’ campaign up to date, I might say:
‘Thaydoro, me buck, at this minyit I
can’t offer ye much consylation. Ye
won’t get anny votes in th’ South that
will do ye anny good. If ye thry to
get anny, th’ colored line will be
dhrawn more closely an’ on higher
threes an’ manny a smiling face will
be absent f’rm ye’er festive board.
Ye’ve jus’ managed to hurt th’ thrusts
enough to make thim mad an’ they’re
afther ye. Manny people is scared to
death that if ye get in again ye’ll
buckle on yer soord an’ declare war
again th’ homes iv their birth where
they skipped fr’m. They’se a lot iv
Germans in Wisconsin an’ Illinye that
don’t like a foreign policy mannyfac
thered to ordher in England an’ who
wud not care to lay down th’ bung
starter an’ the’ sausage grinder to
take up th' soord an’ make war on thir
lieber Vaterland in ordher to advance
th' common an’ sometimes vulgar
speech iv Shapeskeare an' Joe Cham
berlain. Ye ar-re welt liked be Rome
an’ well disliked he others. Th’ beau
tiful bust iv ye that Jacob Riis molded
In butther is meltin’ in th’ harsh glare
iv th' secret meetin’s at th’ White
House. Ye won’t be ilicited be ye’er
frinds or defeated be ye'er inimls. It
is to th' Indpindant suffrages Iv th'
freemen who ar-re IndifT'rent to ye
that ye must appeal. If they ar’re
indiff’rent to th’ Sage lv Esop
us, you have a chanst. But ye'er
gr-reat hope iv victhry is nawthin’
ye’ve done or nawthin' ye havn't done,
but this: That no matther how manny
votes th’ Dimmycrats have befure th'
polls open, th’ Raypublicans usually
have more whin th' polls close an’ they
don't care how late they set up.’
"What wud he say? He'd Bind f’r
Jacob Riis.
"If I wint to Esoopus an' found th’
Sage makin’ hay with Willum Rocky
fellar an’ Augy Belmont, I might say:
‘Sage, don’t ye put too much thrust
in thrusts. A thrust may show a
momentary fondness f'r a Dlmmyerat
but raymlmber a thrust is a Republi
can at heart. He was brought up on
it. It's a good to have Willum Rocky
ffilar with ye f’r Prisidint iv th’ Unit
ed Htsles.. hut I’d rather have th’
fatn'ly Infiooence on my side If I was
r-runnln’ f'r prisidint Iv th’ Standard
lie. Bill an' me Is allowed be th' con
stochooshlon th' same number |v votes.
I. e., as Hogan wud say, wan. Mine Is
sure to get Into th’ bo* but BUI i *Pt
to f'rget his If there's a five dollar bill
At 9:30 Monday, good assortment fl
of Washable Kimonas IwC
At 10 O'clock
MONDAY
500 Brand New White
Shirt Waists
Worth SI.OO, at
43c.
MONDAY
On every dollar applied
to a purchase or ready
made
SHIRT WAIST SUITS
we refund
50c
LEOPOLD ADLER,
The Largest Department Store in the State.
JUST ONE-HALF PRICE FOR
Ladies’ and Children's Raiding Suits
50c Bathing Suits are -25 c | $3.00 Bathing Suits are.... t,50
SI.OO Bathing Suits are 50c $4.00 Bathing Suits are 2-00
$2.00 Bathing Suits are t.OO | SSOO Bathing Suits are 2.50
A Price and Less on CHILDREN'S DRESSES.
A. Price on 150 Beautiful Exclusive WHITE WAISTS.
A Price on 100 Ladies’ READY SKIRTS.
White Washable Pique Skirts, worth ClCfe/ 1 *
$2.00, made in the new fashion, now
NEW FALL TAILOR SUITS
Early advance styles, choice and chic, will be shown here Mon
day for the first time.
New Fall Skirts.
Early advanee styles, exactly as you will see them with the ush
ering ot next season, have just arrived and are open for
your inspection.
Anew shipment of the world-renowned
LA VIDA CORSETS
Has come. Above all other Corset makes, this celebrated Model
Form Corset leads the world in good shape making. It has been our
good fortune to be sole distributors here of La Vida Corsets.
in New York callin’ f’r a father. Don’t
believe lvrything David Binnitt Hill
tells ye. He's a gr-reat mar. at a
prim'ry, but he’s poor in th’ wards. He
knows how to reach th’ captain lv Lh'
eighth precinct but he’s niver had nls
ear very near to th’ gr-reat throbbin’
heart if th’ people on account iv th’
watch pocket bein’ on that side. What
th' public knows about ye is all in ye'er
favor barrin’ ye have a slight impedy
mint in ye'er convictions. They like
ye so much as an upright Judge an’
stalwart farmer that they may not
want to remove ye. They ar’re a fool
ish people an’ they may ask ye to stay
on th' farm. But don’t be in too much
iv a hurry to declure ye’er principles.
Ye won't; but don’t. If ye have prin
ciples iv ye'er own, they may not
agree with ye’er party’s an’ if ye hold
th’ principles iv ye’er party they’re on
pop'lar. Hut don't be discouraged an
nyhow. Th’ campaign is young. Anny
thing may happen. Rosenfelt may go
lame. At prisint, afther makin’V"cold
an' calculated survey Iv th’ situation.
I can on’y promise ye th’ lllicthral vote
lv Texas an' mesilf an' we both need
watohln’.
“What wud he say? He'd ask David
Binnitt Hill an’ David Binnitt Hill
wud say: 'lt's a cinch. Not on’y ye'er
own gr-reat popylarlty an' mine makes
Odors of Perspiration , K r ;”°”r ro pi,.. onr " Royal Foot Wash
fset, <■.. by • Tn-nTTH—
Hops ('hitting, rnrt’s Sweating, I telling; Swollen, Tired feet.
26r at druggists, or prepaid from EATON DRUG CO., Atlanta, Ga. Money
back If not satisfied, Sample for 2-csnt stamp.
SAVANNAH. GA.. SUNDAY. AUGUST 14. 1904.
It certain, but I’ve seen a man in Buf
falo, who knows a man In th’ third
precinct lv th’ Foorth Ward who is
goln’ to see a fellow In Mattoon, Illi
nye, who has th’ city collector lv Keo
kuk undher his thumb an’ he can get
to Cortolloo. I need say no more. Ye
will undherstand what I mean be me
wink. Rosenfelt may as well go back
to th’ barn!’
"No. sir. I will not disturb anny
man’s romance with me valuable an’
unsought oplnylons. But. secretly. Hin
nissy, it don’t look to he as thought
ayether Iv thim had th’ ghost lv a
chance.”
"I’m afraid lv Rosenfelt,” said Mr.
Hennessy.
“I ain’t afraid lv anny Prisidint that
iver lived,” said Mr. Dooley. “Six
months In th’ White House wud tame
a buffalo.”
FORCED TO*PLA7 BALL
I’ncle Sam’s Jaekies Have to Orf
lata the name.
Jgnm the Baltimore Run.
Baseball may he the great American
game, and as such It may appeal to
all; but to be obliged to play ball
Sensolionaiisi Beyond Precedence
IN THE
LADIES' READY-TO
WEAR QEP'T
Hard, heavy price hitting now.
No more regard for Profits.
Regrets No Longer for Loss
es; only aim the Closing
Out of Every Garment.
A determination to start with
a brand new Fall and Winter
stock. Discounts have ceased
to exist; they were trifling to
what there is now. All you
want is to be here; no loss to
you if you buy, nothing but
loss if you don’t buy. You are
welcome, whether you buy or
not, perfectly welcome to see
the crowds, and it’s a scene
to look at such,
at five miles perspiring profusely In a
whether one wants to do so or not—
well, that certainly Is a different mat
ter. And there are a great many men
In this land of the free who are forced
to play ball without regard to their
ability or their tastes. These unfor
tunates are the sailors and marines of
the navy. The national game has been
made part of the “setting up drill" of
the service and the crews of the fight
ing craft are expected to devote so
many hours to baseball, when the ship
is In harbor, as a regular feature of
the duties of the day. On any fine
afternoon, but particularly on .Satur
days, the Jackies and marines of the
warships can be seen marching to the
ball ground, carrying with them the
parapehrnulia of the great game. By
the side of the column marches the
bugler.
It is all done In military fashion. So
many men detailed to carry the bats,
masks, balls and gloves; one little
squad set apart as fielders, another as
pitchers and catchers, a third as um
pires. Nothing is left to be wrangled
over on the ball ground. Everything Is
cut and dried as systematically and
carefully as though the national game
were one of the Important features of
the management of a great ship of
war.
To listen to the conversation of the
Jackies as they swing along toward the
ball ground one would think that some
of them regard the compulsory playing
of the national game as an unmiti
gated nuisance. Not all of the men who
enlist on American ships of war ara
Sale of high grade Wash Goods
will long be remembered.
At 9 o’clock Monday we open a sale of Foreign
Cotton Fabrics, in some instances cotton and silk
mixed goods, and many in the lot valued at 50c
and 75c.
French Swisses,
Handsomely Embroidered.
French Gaoie Novelties.
French Organdies.
Handsome Printed French Dimities.
German Novelties.
Swiss Novelties.
Magnificent Effects in High-Grade Choicest
W ash. Goods
That were selling all the season at 25c, 35c,
50c and some at 75c, are all here now, one price
15C Yard
About 25 kinds. The most wonderful and
most varied offering of WASH FABRICS ever
known here.
The Waning of the Summer Season Causes
Exceptional Price Slashing.
Last Call on double fold White Lawn 3%c.
Soft solid color Chambrays worth i5Tc, at 9 Ac.
Beautiful Sheer Dimity, worth 19c, at 7 Ac.
French Ginghams, worth 25'c, at 12 Ac.
Silk Ginghams, worth ‘j'oc, at 15c.
Dress Voiles, worth at 8 Ac.
Brand new assortment of New Shopping Bags in
endless variety.
New Veils, Chiffon Veils, which are now so popu
lar, in plain and fancy borders, 25c to 75c.
$5.00, $6.00 and $7.00 Fancy Parasols at $1.75.
Dress Goods Dep’t.
Arrival of New Cheviots— All wool Cheviots
suitable for good school dresses, 50c, 75c and $t
a yard.
Fancy Mohair and Brilliantine, worth 7£c, at 39c
All Wool Challies, worth at 29c.
WATCH FOR THE FURNITURE AND MATTING SALE.
native born, and some of the sailors
have never played baseball In their
lives. These find It a decided hard
ship to be compelled to take their place
behind the hat and fan the atmos
phere In abortive attempts to find the
elusive ball. Said a flertnan sailor,who
was wending his way to the ball field
at League Island Navy Yard last Sat
urday:
"Vnt for Iss dis foolishlness. Shall I
make a vorse gunner for not being
able to hit der baseball already? I hit
dor target at gun practice better as
any one on board. Why, den. must I
make snort for der odors by playing
ball ven I know not how?"
Whatever their feelings about It,
however, the sailors must play ball, so
to the grounds at the navy yard they
go when, time for piny comes. At th'*
grounds they are notified by signal
from the bugle when the games may
begin. The Jackies are divided Into
squads, so as to form as many nines
as possible. As the grounds used for
the baseball “setting up drill" at the
League Island Navy Yard are very
commodious, there Is usually room for
all and plenty to spare. The sailors
are not allowed to remove their uni
forms. As they go about the ship so
must they go about the hall grounds
during the baseball “drill,” and the un
usual sight Is presented of Jackies fly
ing around the bases with their wide
trousers threatening to trip them up
t every step, of the pitcher performing
gyrations that were never meant for
ankles enveloped In flowing white duck,
and of men accustomed to bit a target
PAGES 11 TO 20
vain effort to hit a small sphere at as
many yards.
There Is grat rivalry among the men
of the various ships to surpass each
other In the scores, and so far as Is
possible games are arranged between
the rival teams for Saturday after
noons. On these special occasions it
Is not difficult to oust the poor play
ers from the teams on some pretext,
leaving only the crack men to uphold
the honors of the ship.
When the “drill” Is over the bugles
are sounded once more and the men
gather up their belongings and fall In
line for the march to the ships. Apart
from the small amount of grumbling
on the part of those who have never
played the game the compulsory base
ball is regarded as a great relief front
the monotony of life aboard ship and
the meaningless exorcises of other
forms of "setting up drill." By play
ing baseball the Jackies and marines
derive all the benefit of rallsthenlc
movements while enjoying the excite
ment of the national game.
Baseball Is made part of the setting
up exercise whenever American war
ships arc near enough to land for boat
ing parties to reach a convenient
ground. It Is a curious drill, but on
the whole the most popular of all the
exercises arranged for the "setting up"
of the American sailor.
—Old At the (}ume,—Htelia —"Hsvs
you learned to swim yet?" Ethel—“ Not
thi* season."—Puck.