Newspaper Page Text
NO WHIRLWIND IN THIS
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN
Demonstrations That Recall Old Timer Excite
ment Few and Far Between.
New York. Oct. 19,-One of the most
discouraged, disheartened men in all
New York this year is a young British
Journalist, now here largely for the
purpose of studying the political life
and methods of this republic.
It is his ambition, he says, bye-and
bye, to write a book about the United
States, as important in its way as
Bryce s “American Commonwealth."
He had hoped this fall, had this young
Englishman, to see a great deal of
the rush, enthusiasm and bustle, which
he had been told always characterized
cur presidential campaigns, and, of
course, so far, he has seen very little
of it
For the campaign has been as quiet
in New York as we are here told it
has been everywhere else. Only once
or twice, down to date, has there been
any demonstration here to remind the
old-timer of the excitement that was
the accompaniment of many earlier
campaigns.
One evening last week there was a
meeting at the Madison Square Gar
den which filled the big auditorium
from the ground to the eaves. The
first time the presidential candidate
was named from the platform the
monster audience went wild and re
fused to be tamed for nearly a quarter
of an hour. Outside the garden there
were marching men by the thousand,
and overflow meetings by the half
dozen. There were red fire, too. and
the playing of bands. In every way
the occasion was a strong reminder
of the nights that were, but are not—
this year. The day after this meeting
a friend met the young British jour
nalist and asked him what he thought
of the show.
"The show? What show? Oh, a
meet? A political meeting? What?
American Soldiers the
Bravest in the World
But War Correspondent Fresh from Liao Yang
Says the Japs, Man for Man, Can Lick
Any Fighter in Existence.
New York, Oct. 29.—A very enter
taining visiting journalist is George
Lynch of the London Telegraph, who
arrived here the other day, via San
Francisco, fresh from the Manchurian
battlefield of Liao Yang.
He has some decided views concern
ing the probable outcome of the pres
ent war. and his opinions are entitled
to consideration because, if for no oth
er reason, he has been a reporter of
nearly every scrap of fighting any
where in the world since the breaking
out of our war with Spain, and, nat
urally, has made a very close study
of the facts in the present instance.
For both Russian and Japanese sol
diers he entertains the highest re
spect. The bravery, on both sides, he
declares, is wonderful. He corroborates
fully all that Dr. Seamon said on his
return from the East about the im
mense advantage accruing to the Jap
anese army from the superior care
taken by the common soldier by the
medical staff. In fact, it was Mr.
Lynch, in one of his books, issued
just after the relief of the legation;:,
who first drew the attention of the
Western world to the superior sani
tary arrangements of the Japanese
army.
“But,” says Mr. Lynch, “all the
sanitary arrangements in the world
wouldn’t do the business were it not
for the remarkable discipline main
tained in the Japanese army.
“That Is the real thing. The sani
tary rules and regulations of the Jap
anese army are really not a bit bet
ter than those which were framed for
the conduct of the American volun
teers in Cuba, before Santiago, or for
the benefit of the British soldier in
South Africa. The trouble is, that
neither the Americans nor the British
have ever enforced their rules. Why?
Because, of all human beings, the
Americans most, and next the British,
High Art Millinery!
Buipsser, Phipps & Atchison, \ ReaAr-to-CO QQ
Gaze, Hummel. ■ , . > lw. #4.30
In Unusual Event in Millinery;
Hnffn' Trimmed Hats |/rA||(||/n[[g ,
.at $5-to slol\ UUOIIU 0.
This is an attractive collection of variously trimmed and
specially designed Hats at popular prices. The collection in
cludes Turbans. Flares, Continentals, Toques and Sailors.
Ail are trimmed in most effective manner. Colors include
brown, navy, g r een, black, white, castor, etc., in all a collec
tion of over two hundred hats for you to select from—no
two alike. Other Milliners and Departments ask sio to S2O
for hats that do not equal Krouskoffs #5.00 and SIO.OO hats.
Krouskoffs’.
THE FAD OF TODAY!
PUADI fITTC PMinAY The hat that has created a sen
uHAnLy llt uUnUAIi nation in New York and Wash
ington society. Krouskoffs are showing them in silk, lace,
fur, velvet or chi I ton. Prices
$2.98 to $4.98.
Another New idea!
Krouskoffs 1 y/, e “g e Be” Hat rous * to^s
Shirred stitched or accordeon plaited in all colors. Very
stylish for Misses or Children, tastefully trimmed, $3.98 to
$5.98. Others would ask $lO for any of these.
A real, old-time political demonstra
tion? Why, really, you know, I didn't
stay out of the hotel last evening,
I don’t read your newspapers every
day. you know, and I didn’t notice
anything about any big meeting. I
had just received the latest number
of Punch last night, and I spent all
evening laughing over it, don’t you
know?"
Speaking of the campaign It may
not be amiss to say that all New
York, Democrats, Independents, Re
publicans and foreigners alike, have
contracted a genuine case of admira
tion for National Chairman George
B. Cortelyou. He has been criticized
in some quarters, of course—all strong
men are—but no one has estimated
that he had lost his way tn New York
or that there was much danger of his
losing It anywhere.
“Most interesting thing about Cor
telyou,” said a veteran newspaper man
this morning, “is the nice, quiet, polite
way he lets you down when you've
talked to him as long as he’s willing
to let you. He beats some of the old
heads hollow at that sort of thing.
Was best hand at it as long ago as
1900, that I ever saw. Used to meet
him at Canton most every day that
year. Had a regular formula then.
Whenever he was ready for you to go
he would look placidly out over the
lawn and say, in a sort of confidential
tone:
’’Did you ever notice how extreme
ly tame the birds are on this lawn?”
"Whenever Cortelyou got to talking
about the tame birds, four years ago,
it was high time to he saying good
bye. He doesn’t talk about birds
when he wishes to close an interview
now—in fact, he has the art of shut
ting you off down much finer than he
had it then, and never adopts the same
method twice in succession, but his
shut-off scheme always works and is
always of a sort' that never makes the
other fellow angry.” Duane.
are impatient of personal restraint.
"Both British and American sol
diers are brave and amenable to or
ders, when on the drill ground or in
battle. But neither Tommy Atkina
or the average American volunteer
soldiers would think of obeying the
rule not to drink from a running
stream if he was thirsty. Both in
Cuba and South Africa I have seen
thirsty soldiers lie down and drink
to their fill from a stream which they
knew quite well was polluted, not
very far up, by the decaying body of
a dead horse.
“As for either American or British
soldiers quenching their thirst all day
long from their canteens with water
which has been boiled previously,
why. they simply won’t do It. In the
present state of their discipline, and
that’s all there Is to it. In time dis
cipline In our western armies may be
taken care of themselves properly, but
there'll have to be some stringent
punishments first.”
"Yes, I Wave said that I believe the
Jap fighters, man for man and on even
terms, could defeat any other fighters
in existence, and I hold to that state
ment.
"It is not because they are braver
than some other fighters, though. It
is because they are better disciplined.
When it comes to a matter of bravery,
the fighters of all the world ought to
take oft their hats to your American
soldiers. I saw them in Cuba and I
know something about it.
“The American first—and the
Briton next—values life for its own
sake, for what there is in It of enjoy
ment and achivement for him, much
more than other men. He doesn t
want to die; he wants to live. He
dreads death. In fact, he Is afraid of
death. Yet he stands up to his work
when it is necessary and gives up his
life Just as unflinchingly as the Jap or
the Russian. The courage of the Jap
•and the courage of the Russian—both
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY. OCTOBER 30. 1004.
WHAT SULPHUR DOES
For the Human Body In Health and
Disease.
The mention of sulphur will recall
to many of us the early days when
our mothers and grandmothers gave
us our daily dose o£ sulphur and mo
lasses every spring and fall.
It was the universal spring and fall
“blood purifier," tonic and cure-all
and mind you, this old-fashioned
remedy was not without merit.
The idea was good, but the remedy
was crude and unpalatable, and a
large quantity had to be taken to get
any effect.
Nowadays we get all the beneficial
effects of sulphur in a palatable, con
centrated form, so that a single grain
is far more effective than a tablespoon
ful of the crude sulphur.
In recent years, research and experi
ment have proven that the best sul
phur for medicinal use is that obtain
ed from Calcium (Calcium Sulphide)
and sold in drug stores under the
name of Stuart's Calcium Wafers.
They are small chocolate coated pellets
and contain the active medicinal prin
siple of sulphur in a highly concen
trated, effective form.
Few people are aware of the value
of this form of sulphur in restoring
and maintaining bodily vigor and
health: sulphur acts directly on the
liver, and excretory organs and puri
fies and enriches the blood by the
prompt elimination of waste material.
Our grandmothers knew this when
they dosed us with sulphur and mo
lasses every spring and fall, but the
crudity and impurity of ordinary flow
ers of sulphur were often worse than
the disease, and cannot compare with
the modern concentrated preparations
of sulphur, of which Stuarts Cal
cium Wafers is undoubtedly the best
and most widely used.
They are the natural antidote for
liver and kidney troubles and cure con
stipation and purify the blood In a
way that often surprises patient and
physician alike.
Dr. R. M. Wilkins while experiment
ing with sulphur remedies soon found
that the sulphur from Calcium was
superior to any other form He says:
“For liver, kidney and blood troubles,
especially when resulting from con
stipation or malaria. I have been sur
prised at the results obtained from
Stuart's Calcium Wafers. In patients
suffering from boils and pimples and
even deep-seated carbuncles, I have re
peatedly seen them dry up and dis
appear in four or five days, leaving
the skin clear and smooth. Although
Stuart's Calcium Wafers is a pro
prietary article, and sold by druggists,
and for that reason tabooed by many
physicians, yet I know of nothing so
safe and reliable for constipation, liver
and kidney troubles and especially in
all forms of skin disease as this rem
edy.”
At any rate people who are tired of
pills, cathartics and so-called blood
"purifiers." will find in Stuart’s Cal
cium Wafers, a far safer, more pala
table and effective preparation.
splendid—are different, and both are
American.
“The courage of the Jap is inspired
by pure devotion to his Emperor and
his beloved country. The courage of
the Russian is a stolid thing. He is
for 'God and the Czar,’ without think
ing much about it. He is tinged with
indifferentism.
“But the valor of the American is a
combination of physical and moral
courage. It Is the daring of one whose
life offers much to him. It is the
courage of the man who shivers with
apprehension, if you please, as he
marches ’to the cannon’s mouth,’ but
who goes ahead ail the same.”
Mr. Lynch has nothing but words
of praise for the Japanese treatment
of the correspondents.
“They were a bit harsh, at first,”
he says, “but in time they got to know
just what to do with the newspaper
men and just how to do it. If I were
a commanding general I should be
pretty careful how I talked to writers
for the press. The Japanese are fight
ing for their national life and informa
tion of their movements, printed pre
maturely. might do immense harm.
“The British military authorities
know pretty well how to meet the cor
respondent problem. In a sense, he is
a member of the army. He draws an
officers’ rations. He need never go
hungry, or shelterless, unless the offi
cers are In the same plight, and he Is
put upon the ‘honor of a war corre
spondent and a gentleman,’ just as the
officer Is put upon the ‘honor of an
officer and a gentleman.’
"You Americans don’t do it so well.
In the Spanish War the correspondent
had no standing whatever. He was a
camp follower, existing on
sufferance only.
“Unless he knew someone personal
ly who was connected with the army
he had to go hungry whenever he could
not buy food for any of the many rea
sons that might come up. He had no
rights ar.d he respected no regulations.
I nearly starved to death before San
tiago. I couldn’t get food for love or
money, and I went almost without any
for nearly three days. I don’t know
what would have happened to me If I
hadn’t run across an ofllcer I knew,
who took pity on me and fed me. Their
utter lack of standing, I believe, had a
good deal to do with the lawlessness
and the reckless statements of some
of the correspondents in the Spanlsh-
American War.”
Duane.
WHO BUILT THE SUBWAY?
Mcflonald, Parson*. Rapid Transit
Commission or August Belmont.
New York, Oct. 29.—The question
"Who built the subway?” is arousing
discussion in various quarters since
the opening of that great piece of en
gineering on Thursday. "Was It John
B. McDonald, who got the contract to
build It for *35,000,000; William Barclay
Parsons, who drew the plans; the Rap
id Transit Commission, who approved
the plans, or August Belmont and the
Interborough Company, who found the
money to finance the undertaking?”
Mr. McDonald was quoted as saying
in some bitterness of spirit, that “Wall
street does not give a continental for
the contractor, after he gets the dirt
off his shovel.”
When asked who built the subway,
Mr. McDonald smiled.
"I’m sure I can’t say,” he began.
Then, becoming serious, he added: "I
shall engage in no controversy as to
who Is entitled to credit for the con
struction of the subway. A few years
ago the project was regarded as so
vast and difficult, even by the great
Interests engaged for years in the at
tempt to solve the problem of rapid
transit for this city, that It was deem
ed impracticable.
"After careful study I concluded It
was practicable and undertook it. I
appreciated the difficulties to be en
countered, but concluded that they
were not Insurmountable. I found
them as great as anticipated. They
have been overcome. To-day the sub
way and rapid transit for New York
city are accomplished facts.
"The subway problem 1* solved for
1l time. I elalm no special credit,
except what may attach to the com
pletion of the undertaking within the
time and under the conditions called
for by my contract. The public Is the
chief beneficiary, and It must decide
who Is snUtlad to credit In the prem
ises.”
NEW YORK CITY
IS A PROBLEM
HOW MURPHY FIGURES IT.
PARKER’S PI-URAI-ITY TO ERl'Al.
cot.Bß'9 m.noo i\ toa.
Other Tammany Men No* .so San
guine—Murphy Counts on lier
rlok’n Plurality Exceeding Coler’e.
The Rest Estimate the Repnbll
eans Hake Is 03,000 Democratic
Majority—Will the Jew York City
Democratic yote Overcome the
Republtcutt Y’otc In the State f
New York. Oct. 29.—This great city
Is one of tha important problems of
the national and state campaigns. If
the stato of Now York is to elect a
Democratic Governor, tha Democratic
vote of tha city must be large enough
to overcome the vote that will be cast
In the Republican counties to tha
North and West.
It Is generally admitted that If tha
city gives a plurality much in excess
of 100,000 the state will be close, and
this may insure a victory also for
Judge Parker. The Republicans do
not agree with the Democratic claim
that their vote will be materially cut
down in the rural counties, but it is
clear that they are desperately fighting
in every way to decrease the Demo
cratic vote In the city.
The campaign, however, has been
listless on both sides in the city, just
as it has been In the state.
f’harles F. Murphy, leader of Tam
many Hall, insists that he will be able
to present to Judge Parker a plurality
almost equal to that given to Bird S.
Coler In 1902, which was 122,000. He
expects to exceed the Coler vote for
Judge Herrick. Other Tammany men
are not so sanguine and place the plu
rality for the head of the ticket at
about 90,000 In the city.
The best estimate the Republicans
make is 63,000 Democratic in the en
tire city, but these figures are likely
to be regarded as too low even by con
servative Republican observers.
The city gave Grover Cleveland. In
1592, a plurality of 109,000. It gave Mc-
Kinley. in 1896, 52,000. It gave Augus
tus Van Wyck, in 1899. 80.000. It gave
Bryan, in 1900, 28,000. Coler In 1902.
had 122,000 more votes than Gov. Odell.
Since the Coler vote Is the princi
pal problem with the politicians It is
interesting to compare the vote of that
year with that for Governor In 1900,
the last presidential year, when Odell
ran behind the national ticket.
Mr. Coler's total vote In the city
was 327.132. That of Mr. Stanchfleld
two years before was 316,393. an in
crease In the Democratic vote of 10.-
739. This Increase was 6,749 In Man
hattan and the Bronx. 2.059 in Kings,
1,619 In Queens and 312 in Richmond.
Gov. Odell’s total vote in 1900 was
272,130 and In 1902 It was 204.499, and
two vears before 272,130, a decrease in
the Republican vote of 67,631. There
was a decrease of 48,791 in Manhattan,
22.100 in Kings, 2,732 in Queens and 1,-
008 in Richmond.
The Republicans contend that their
voters who failed to come out In 1902
are coming out this year, and will vote
for Roosevelt and Higgins. The Dem
ocrats assert that "Odeliism” is still
the issue, and that the stay-at-home
Republicans of 1902, if they register,
will do so in order to vote against the
Governor’s ticket and against the pol
icies of Mr. Roosevelt.
WASHINGTON’S CREAKING
HERDICS TO GO.
Antiquated Transportation Line
of the Capital goon a Thing of the
l’oot.
Washington, Oct. 29.—Washington’s
old herdie line may soon be a thing
of the past. After having for ytfnrs
tolerated the dilapidated, creaking
herdios, drawn by ancient horses at a
snail’s pace, the tax assessor of the
distrlot recommends that they no long
e\- be permitted to operate under the
liAmses they now hold.
almost every one who ever Hhd oc
caiVon to visit Washington has seen
these sorry looking conveyances. They
operate about every five minutes on
a line extending northward from the
treasury, in Fifteenth street, to Mas
sachusetts avenue, thence in that fash
ionable thoroughfare to Sixteenth
street and north to U street.
It Was been years since they were
painted. The shaggy hides of the
horses seem strangers to currycombs.
They are manned only by a driver, who
acts as conductor In so far as he sees
that each passenger puts hts nickel in
a cash box at the front of the herdlc.
In the winter straw is laid on th floor,
but no other provision is made for
heating. Probably in no other city of
equal size would this antiquated mode
of transportation he tolerated.
Senator Depew once said to a friend
who missed the herdlc—"There It goes
a block awtiy. If you walk slow you
will overtake It.”
—"My good woman, do I understand
your husband Is active In church
work?” asked the clerical-looking
man. "Yes, sir,” replied the woman,
picking up her basket; "he’a doin’
some repairin’ on the steeple now, sir.”
—Yonkers Statesman.
Such Weather
for the
BICYCLE!
Nothin* like It ever-—and. and
oh the money one saves In
street car fares!
The saving pays for the
wheel—and starts a bank
account, but only when you
get
A
Columbia
Bicycle
The kind we soil and the only
kind to buy.
Get a wheel ami try the
omne. You will take anew
lease on life.
We repair Bicycles.
T. A. Bryson,
2*2 HULL STREET.
Consumption Cured at Home.
“Keep the System Toned Upf* (fSBBIMKk HitTl ~~ *
with DUFFY’S PURE MALT
WHISKEY, and Any Case ot jjj "■ v , '-*■<
Consumption Can Bo Cured and 1 S
MR. C. PUTMON—Cured of Consumption by Duffy's Pure Malt Whiskey.
1 was f ' :, t on my back in Cincinnati. It waa aften ten long, hard months on the road as advance agent for
theatir companies. I had to be up early and late, exposed to nil kinds of weather: often soaking wet and chilled
to the bone. My system could stand it no longer. I caught a heavy cold and it settled on my lungs. Doctors dosed
me as usual, but I was steadily going to a consumptive’* grave.
An old actor friend recommended Duffy’s Pure Malt Whiskey. I tried it. Felt better the first week. In
two weeks doctor said he needn't call again, to keep on taking ’Duffy’s’ and I’d soon be cured. And I am cured;
strong, husky, never better in my life, and It took only four bottles. Have come through another season In perfect
shape.” C. Putmon, care Billboard Publishing Company, Cincinnati, Ohio, July 30, 1904.
DUFFY’S PURE MALT WHISKEY.
Consumption seldom attacks until the system Is run down and weakened by sickness, overwork, worry, ex
posure or inherited tendencies. The secret of the marvelous success of Duffy’s Pure Malt Whiskey In curing an<l
preventing lung troubles lies in the fact that it’s the greatest strengthener and health builder known to medicine.
It not only checks the ravages of the disease Itself, but replaces the weakened, destroyed tissues: helps the stom
ach to more perfectly digest and assimilate food in order that more, richer, and purer blood will come from It;
and regulates and governs the heart s action, so that the circulation will be strong and powerful, carrying health
and vigor to every organ and part of the human body. The idea that a consumptive’s only chance for life is to
send him to Colorado or California to fret himself to death was effectually exploded at the Medical Association’s
Convention, a few months ago at Atlantic City, where leading consumption specialists declared that the only suc
cessful place to treat lung troubles was right at home, where the disease originated, and that Duffy’s Pure Malt
Whiskey is the moßt effective means of fighting this awful scourge to the human race.
Duffv's Pure Malt Whiskey is absolutely pure and free from fusel oil—the only whiskey recognised by the
Government as a medicine. It has been proscribed by doctors of sll schools and sold by reliable druggists and
grocers everywhere for over 50 years. SI.OO a bottle. Kvery testimonial Is published in’good faith and guaran
teed. Medical booklet free.
C AUTION —He sure you get the genuine Duffy’s Pure Malt Whiskey, manufactured hy Dnffv Malt Whiskey
On., Rochester. \. Y., and put up In sealed bottles, with the “Old Chemist” trade-mark on the lals-l. It’s never
sold In bulk. Beware the many substitutes anil imitations offered hy unscrupulous dealers because of the extra
profit, They not only will not cure, hut are positively dangerous.
MR. DOOLEY
-J-j ON
THE PURSUIT OF RICHES
By F. P. DUNNE.
Copyright, 1904, by McClure, Phillips & Cos.
“Dear me, I wisht I had money,” aatd
Mr. Hennessy.
“So do I,” said Mr. Dooley. "I need
it.”
“Ye wudden't get It fr'm me,” said
Mr. Hennessy.
“If I didn’t,’ said Mr. Dooley, ” 'twud
be because I wag poor or tired. But
what d’ye want money f’r? Supposin'
I lost me head an' handed over ail me
accumylated wealth? What wud ye
do with that gr-reat fortune? Befure
ye had spirit half iv It, ye'd be so sick
ye’d come to me an' hand back th’
remainin’ eighteen dollars.
"A man has more fun wlshln’ fr' th’
things he hasn't got thin injyln’ th’
things he has got. Life, Htnnlssy, Is
like a Pullman dinin' car; a fine bill lv
fare, but nawthln' to eat. Ye go In
fresh an' hungry, tuck ye’er napkin In
ye’er collar, an' square away at th’
ilst iv groceries that th’ black man
hands ye. What’ll ye have first? Ye
think ye'd like to be famous an' ye
ordher a dish iv fame an’ bid th’
waither make it good an’ hot. He’s
gone an age an' whin he comes back
ye'er appytltc is departed. Ye taste
th' ordher an’ says he: ’Why, It’s cold
an' full Iv broken glass.' ’That’s th’
way we always sarve Fame on this
car,’ says th’ coon. ’Don’t ye think
ye’d like money f’r' th’ slcortd course?
Mlsther Rockyfellar over there has had
forty-two helptn's,’ says ha. ‘lt don't
seem to agree with him,' says ye, ‘but
ye may bring me some,’ ye say. Away
he goes an’ stays till ye're bald an'
ye’er teeth fall out an’ ye set dhrum
min’ on th' table an’ lookin’ out at
th’ scenery. By an' by he comes back
with ye’er ordher, but Jus’ as he’s goin’
to hand It to ye. Rockyfellar grabs th’
plate. ’What kind Iv a car ts this?’
says ye. 'Don't I get annythlng to
eat? Can’t ye give me a little happi
ness?’ 'I wudden't rlrommend th' hap
piness,’ says th’ walther. ’lt’s canned
an’ it kilt th’ las' man that thrled It.’
‘Well, gracious.’ says ye. ‘l’ve got to
have something. Give me a little good
health, an' I'll thry to make a meal
out iv that.’ ’Sorry, sir,' says th’ black
man, ’but we’re all out iv good health.
Besides,’ he says, taking' ye gtntly be
th' ar-rm, 'we're cornin’ Into th’ deepo
an’ ye'll have to get out,' he says.
“An’ there ye ar-re. Ye'll nlver get
money onless ye fix th’ walther an’
grab th’ dishes fr’m th’ other passen
gers. An' ye won’t do that. 80 ye’ll
nlver be rich. So poor man Iver will
be. Wan Iv th’ sthrangest things
about life Is that th’ poor who need
th' money th’ most ar-re th' very
wans that nlver have It. A poor man
Is a poor man an' a rich man is a
rich man. Ye’re ayetber horn poor
or rich. It don't make anny diff'rence
whether or not ye have money to be
gin with. If ye’re born to be rich,
yell be rich, an If ye're born to be
poor, ye’ll he poor. Th’ buttons on
ye’er vest tell th’ story. Kleh man,
poor man, beggar man, rich man, or
wurruds to that effect. I always find
that I have ayether two buttons or
six.
“A poor men Is a man that rayfuses
to caeh In. Ye don’t get annythlng
fr nawthln’ an’ to gather In a mlll
yon )▼ thlrrt beautiful lithographs tv
Salmon P. Chase, ye have to go down
Ivry day with something undher ye’er
ar-rm to th’ great pawn shop. Whin
Hogan wants four dollars, he takes
th’ clock down to Moses. Whin
Rockyfellar wants tin mlllyon. he puts
up hla peace Iv mind or his health or
something akelly vslysble. If Hogan
wud hock his priceless habit lv sleep
in’ late In th' mornln’. he wud be able
to tell th’ time lv day whin he got
up without goln' to th’ comer dhrug
store.
"Look at McMullln. He's rowlln' In
It, It bulges bis pocket an' Inflates hla
conversation Whin be looks at ms.
I always feel that he's wondhrln' how
much I’d bring at a forced sale. Wen,
McMullln an’ 1 bad th’ same start.
about forty yards behind scratch an’
Vanderbilt to beat. They always put
th’ best man in annv race behind th’
line. Befure McMullln gets through
he’ll pass Venderbllt, carry away th’
tape on his shoulders, an’ run two or
three times around th’ thrack. But
me an' him started th’ same way. Th'
on’y diff’rence was that he wud cash
in an' I wudden’t. Th' on’y thing I
Iver fxplcted to get money on was me
dhrenm lv avarice. I always had that,
I cud dhream lv money ns hard as
anny man ye Iver see an’ can still. But
I nlver thought lv wurrukln' f’r it. I’ve
always looked on it as dlshon’rable to
wurruk fr money. I wurruk fr exer
cise an’ I get what th’ lawyers call
an honoraryium be dilutin’ th’ spirits.
Th' on’y way I Iver expict to make a
clnt is to have it left to me be a rich
relation an' I'm th’ pluthycrat iv me
fam'ly, or to stub me toe on a gam
bler's roll or atop a runaway horse f’r
Pierpont Morgan. An’ th’ horse mustn’t
be runnin’ too fast. He must be Jus’
goin’ to stop on’y Morgan don’t know
It, havin' fainted. Whin he cornea to,
he finds me at th’ bridle, modestly
waitin’ f’r him to weep on me bosom.
But as fr scramblin' down town arly
In th’ mornln’ an’ buyln’ chattel mor
gedges, I nlver thought Iv It. I get
tip at slven o'clock. I wudden't get up
at a quart her to slven fr all th’ money
I dhream about. I have a lot lv things
ar-round here I cud cash In If I cared
f r money. I have th' priceless gift Iv
laziness. It’s made me what I am.
an’ that’s th’ very first thing Ivry rich
man cashes In. Th' mlllyonalres ye
r-read about thrytn’ to give th’ rest lv
th’ wnrruld a good time be runnin’
over thim In autymoblles. all started
with a large stock Iv Indolence which
they cashed In. Now. whin they cud
enjoy It, they can’t buy It back. Thin
I have me good health. Ye can al
ways get money on that. An’ I have
me frinds; I rayfuse to cash thlm In.
I don't know that I cud get much on
thlm. but if I wanted to be a mllly
onalra, I’d tuck you an’ Hogan an'
Donahue undher me ar-rm an’ carry
ye down to Mose.
“McMullln did cash. He bad no more
laziness thin me. but he cashed It In
befure he was twinty-wan. He cashed
In hla good health, a large stock tv
fam'ly ties, th’ afflctlon lv his wife, th’
comforts lv home, an’ wan frind afther
another. Wanst In awhile, late in life
he’d thry to redeem a pledge, but he
nlver cud. They wasn’t annythlng In
th’ wurruld that McMullln wudden't
change fr th’ roly-boly. He cashed in
his vote, his patbreetiam, his rellljon,
hla rllltlves an’ tin'lly hit hair. Ye
heerd about him, didn't ye? He’s lost
Ivry hair on hi head. They ain’t a
spear Iv vigitation left on him. He’s
as arid as th' desart Iv Sahara. Hts
head looks like an Iceberg In th' moon
light. He was In here th’ other day,
bewailin’ his fate. ’lt’s a gr-reat mis
fortune,' soys he. 'What did ye get fr
It?* says I. ’That's th’ throubl#.’ says
he. Well, don’t complain,’ says I.
’Think what ye save In barber's bills,'
I aays, an’ he wlnt away lookin’ much
cheered vn.
“No, Hinnlssy, you an' I, me frind.
whs not cut out by Provydence to be
mlllylonalrr-t. If ye had nawthln' but
money, ye'd have nawthln' but money.
Ye can’t ate it, sleep It, dhrlnk it, or
carry It uwtv with ye. Ye've got a
lot iv things that McMullln hasn't got.
Annybody that goes down to Mose s
won’t see ye'er peace iv mind bangin'
in th’ window as an unredeemed
pledge. An’ annyhow. If ye're really in
search Iv a fortune, perhaps I cud help
ye. Wud a dollar an’ a half be anny
use to ye?”
"Life la full lv disappointments.” said
Mr. Hennessy.
"It la." said Mr. Dooley, “If ya feel
that way. It’a thru# that a good man
ny have thrled It an’ none have come
back f’r a post-graduate ooorte. But
still It ain't an bad as a career fr a
young man. Ye nlver get what ye
[ ordher. but It’s pretty good If ya’er
appytlte ain’t keen an’ ya cara fr th’
I foansry.’*
CREATOR OF “THE WIZARD OF
OZ” ONCE A PILL PAINTER.
How He Painted a Pill Advertise
ment on n, Cow.
Now York, Oct. 27.—The friends of
W. W. Ddnslow, whose share of the
royalties from "The Wizard of Os,”
for which he designed the costumes of
two characters, "The Scare-Crow" and
“The Tin Man,” expect great things
from his latest production, "The Pearl
and tha Pumpkin.”
Hla collaborator in this creation has
been Paul West. It is going to be
put on the stage of one of the New
York theaters soon, and Is also to be
brought out In book form by a New
York publisher. Denslow has had a
rather adventurous life for one who
is now raking in the slmoleona
through the medium of spectacular
shows and children's books. He has
been a cowboy and a miher. His first
work as an Illustrator ws drawing
pictures of seed potatoes for an agri
cultural paper. He put In several
months, one year, after he had made
alt the drawings of seed potatoes he
could get to do, painting pill adver
tisements on barns, fences and rocks
down in Maine.
One day he and his partner, whose
duty it was to get permission to paint
the pill advertisements, saw a cow in
a pasture on whose horns a board was
fastened to prevent her from lifting
up the top mil of the fence and thus
breaking out of the field. Den*low's
partner suggested that the board of
fered a fine place for a pill “ad."
Denslow agreed with him, painted the
board, and, the cow seeming to have
no objection, then proceeded to paint
her bulging sides with pill ads also.
They were traveling over the coun
try roads with a fast team and had
no notion but that by night they
would ba far enough away from the
pasture to be secure from any venge
ance the cow’s owner might wish to
wreak upon them after he bad seen
the decorations with which they had
adorned her.
They were wrong, though. Forget
ting all about the cow, they arranged
half a mile further oh to paint a far
mer's new bam completely for the
privilege of covering it with pll! litera
ture, and the job being one that would
take a day or two they put up there
for the night.
At milking time, when the farmer’s
cows were driven home the pill
painted Sukey was brought In with
the others, and for a while It looked
as If the flippant pill artist and his
side partner were both about to re
ceive a sound thrashing at the hands
of the farmer and his husky eons.
Trouble was averted, however, after
half an hoar of wordy argument, but
Denslow suys that half hour’s discus
sion was one of the most strenuous of
ail hts personal experiences. Some
day he proposes to write a book on
"The Character of the Maine Yankee
as Observed by a Traveling Pill
Painter." Duana.
DUNLAP
PERCOLATOR.
Things You Ought to
Know.
Th* "Dunlap Percolator” Is tha moat
economical coffee pot on the market.
It makes a guaranteed saving of 3* 1-J
per cent, of the coffee ordinarily used.
It saves the ue* of eggs entirely. Tha
rancid cloth or muslin Is eliminated.
It Is the only coffee pot made that
makes coffee without boiling or scald
ing the coffee grounds.
Made of pure aluminum—use It .i
any stove, range, or gas stove. "Tha
only coffee pot that pumps.” no
steam or aroma escapes from the “Dun
lap Percolator.” It makes delicious
coffee every time It is used. It ts tha
most sanitary pot known. It works
wonders with Ceres I Coffee. Call at
our store and "ee It pump."
ALLEN BROS.
tas IrexlitM sweat, Was 4.
5