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6 A True and Complete History of Why In our last issue we had the following statement and promise: “In the May edition of “By-the- Hut/,” a little publication which is issued under the auspices of the pas-enger department of the Ea.'i Tennessee, Virginia Georgia Kail road Co., and which is somewhat on thegen ei al style of The Great K en.n esaw Koi te Gaze vie, we notice copy of a circular head ed, “1 his is Why.’’ There is some interesting reading in it; but inasmuch as it is incomplete, standing bv itself, wewill, in our next month's issue, give the whole series ot iiy, —“ Ims is Why,’’—and “Eh. 5 es, Ims \\ hy. There is racy reading to be found in this series.” We would not have taken the space to re produce these circulars but for the fact that we thought all ticket agents as well as the general public would feel an interest in see ing both sides. Merely to read “Ims is Why,” would be like reading the middle chapter of a continued story in the news papers. The reader would tain satisfy his curiosity b seeing the commencement and end of the recitd of thrilling events. We understand that the circumstances which gave rise to the trio oi circulars were as follows: During last fall the pa-senger department of the East Tennessee, Virginia A Georgia Kailroad Co. is-ued a circu ar headed, “The Daisy withered! before the Sunflower,’’show ing comparative timemade from diet )hio riv er to Jacksonville by sleeping carsover their line and by the sleeping cars over the West ern A Atlantic Kailroad, respectively, in which the quickest schedule of the East reti nene, Virginia A Ga. was compared with the slowest schedule over the Western A At lantic, and the public thus allowed to infer that this was a fair showing of the quickest time made by the two lines. Later on, dur'ng about the first of March, the East Tennessee. Virginia A Georgia passenger department issued a circular stat ing that it was seven hours quicker from Savan nah to Chattanooga via their line than via any other, which, of course, meant the Central and the Western A Atlantic. Inasmuch a- the time from Savannah to Chattanooga via the Central and Western A Atlantic is 16 hours and 50 minutes, and as the time from Savannah to Jesup via the S. F. A W. is 2 hours and 25 minutes, if we add the 2 hours and 25 minutes to the 7 hours, which represent' the so-called quick est time, we have 9 hours and 25 minutes to deduct from 16 hours and 50 minutes. This leaves 7 hours and 25 minutes, or al lowing 10 minutes for change at Jesup, we have 7 hours and 15 minutes for the time tlu? East Tennessee, Virginia A (ieorgia train had to make from Jesup to Chattanooga, 389 miles, in order to carry out the prom ise of being 7 hours the quickest line. This would require a schedule of 53 miles per hour from Jesup to Chattanooga without coupling anything for stops, which, to say the least, would be a very fast schedule. Some two or three weeks later another cir cular was issued by the East Tennessee, Vir ginia. & Georgia Kailr ad Co. stating that its line via Jesup was * hours quicker from Thomasville to Chattanooga than anv other line —the “any other line." of course, mean ing via Albany, the Central Kailroad and Western A Atlantic. Xow, in order to gel this result, we have some more pretty figuring. First, consider that via the Albany, Cen tral Kailroad and Western A Atlantic line from Thomasville to Chattanooga, the time is 19 hours and 45 minutes. Xow deduct 4 hours and 25 minutes, which is the quickest time from Thomasville to Jesup, and add 10 minutes for the time consumed at Jesup, then add S hours, which is the al leged difference in the time, and deduct all this from 19 hours and 45 minutes, and we have 7 hours allowed the East Tennessee, Virginia A Georgia from Jesup to Chatta nooga—in other words, they would have to make 56 miles per hour, without allowing anything for stops, in order to carry out this promise to the people going from Thomas ville. The Western A Atlantic people, therefore, considering that it was hardly an equal division to allow the East Tennessee, Vir ginia & Georgia to have ail the fun, and fur thermore not believing that the public was being treated fairly by being dealt with as if everv day was April Ist, then issued the circular headed, “ Why.” This was very promptly followed by a counter-circular entitled, “This is Why,” issued by rhe East Tennessee, Virginia A Georgia Rail road, and then, in a very few days followed the Western A Atlantic circular entitled, “Eh, Yes, This is Why.” So, with this explanation, gentle reader, you can peruse the entire series to your full satisfaction. THE GREAT KENNESAW ROUTE GAZEIT'E. Do You Biislc Your Time, Your Money, Your Comfort Bv allowing v,,,,,-solves lo be deceived b. promises which are mode because you are thought ignorant enough to be fooled ? T Z —\ Z~ I At the following comparison of (.not the advertised time, but. the time At I L ALL Y I | ( J l J rX- MADE by THROUGH CAR LINES from Jacksonville to Cincinnati, and then DE TERMINE FOR YOURSELF “which hoss you will ride." VIA THE UNDER "7 MANAGEMENTS Crook 'em. and Twist ’em) ROUTE. The trains of this line from Jesup to Boyce pass in a zigzag direction over roads and divisions of roads which are under seven different managements, about half of them independent of or competitive to its own, and are abso lutely under the control of the train dispatcher of each road while upon its rails, and if behind time are compelled to await the arrival of trains of the oth er road coming from the opposite direction. onmHtPW ™ ™ S ' DUIIID UilljLL EAlllDbD. i So-called because it goes jolting over such high and frail trestles that the horrified (So-called because, m trying to make its p itsse nger almost imagines that he is fly- advertised time, it has proved to be such j n g through the air and is about to come a consummate “bust!”) down "kersmash! Lv. Jacksonville S. E. AW. 1.40 pm Lv. Jacksonville. S. F. A W ... 7.00 pm “ Callahan “ 2.25 “ “Callahan “• 8.00 “ “ Jesup. E. T. V-AG. Ga. Div? 6.05 “ “ Jesup, E. T. VA G. (Ga. Div.) 12.20 am “ Macon “ “ 11.40 “ “ Macon, “ “ 7.00 “ “ Atlanta Ga. Bae. 3.00 am “ Atlanta, Ga. Bac 12.15 pm “ Austell ET, V A Ga. Ga Div) 3.45 “ “ Austell, E. T, VAG. >Ga Div)12.58 “ “ Rome “ Ala Div 6.00 “ “ Rome, “ ( Via. Div) 3.20 “ Ar. Cleveland “ " 8.12 “ Ar. Cleveland, “ “ 0..-2 Lv.Cleveland “ .Main Stem. Lv. Cleveland, “ (Main Stem) .... “ “E. Tenn. Junction.. .. W. AA. 8.25 “ “ East Tenn. June.. W. A .4. . 6.30 “ Ar. Chattanooga “ 8.45 “ Ar. Chattanooga, + “ 6.45 “ Lv. Chattanooga... Cin. Sou. 6.35 pm Lv. Chattanooga, Cin. Sou 8.00 am Ar. Boyce . “ 6.45 “ Ar. Boyce, “ 8.15 Lv. Boyce “ 6.50 “ Lv. Boyce, “ 8.15 “ Ar. Cincinnati “ 6.50 am Ar. Cincinnati. “ 6.00 pm Cin. Sou, Morning Train GONE. +Cin. Sou. Evening brain GONE. The above figures 'how them as coming very near making connection. Being on this side of the perpendicular line, we have naturally wabbled away a little from the facts, for the actual truth is. that since April Ist neither the “Bombshell" nor the “Flyer has come within an hour of making connection at Chattanooga. But, like their hard worked and honest engineers, we have “done the best we could" for them. A SCENE FROM HAMLET. [MODERNIZED.] Hamlet, (an intelligent tourist.) Dramatis ; GviLDENSTERN (Passenger Agent of “Crook'em and Twisfem Line.") Persona-: | Boloni t'S, ( Gui’denstei n's ‘'tied out " partner. He'll come in when Guild. [gives him the wink.) H amlet, (after listening to Guildenstera’s statement that his Hue is open, and that his trains aie on time.) ’Tis as easy as lying, {pointing at the “missing connections" record.) Look you, these are the stops. Gvildenstern, 1 pointing at the intermediate lines whose train dispatchers have absolute com mand of his trains while on their rails.} But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony ; I have not the skill. Hamlet. Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me. You would play upon me; you would seem to know my 'tops. S’blood ! do you think that 1 am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what in strument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me. [Enter Pobmius] —accidentally (.’’) Bolonii s. My lord. Hamlet. ( Interrupting, and pointing tu one of the “C. t y T. line's “promissory notes," circu lars about quick schedules which are never made, and smiling): Do you see that cloud, that’s almost in shape like a camel? Bolonivs Humping himself for a big lie.) By the mass, and ’tis like a camel indeed. H amlet. ( Looking aside and smiling, then facing Polonius again, and looking closer at the dodger.) Methinks it is like a weasel. Bolonivs. {Turning it over and uncertain whether Hamlet is guying him or not. It is backed like a weasel. Hamlet. {Looking mysteriously credulous.) Or like a whale? Bolonivs. (Grabbing it up and triumphantly unfolding it full length A Very' like a whale. Hamlet. ( Walking off with a contemptuous glance at both.) Thev fool me to the top of my bent. I will come BY' ani> by. {Laughing). By* and by' is easilv said. Leave me friends. a For all further information as to how yon can avoid being bugged bv circulars intended to fool vou—as to how you can avoid bemg hurt or frightened into the middle or next week by the explosion of the “Bomb-Shell Express,’’ or landed on the ground off a nestle, w itn a mump, nv the r iser Express, or as to how you can avoid the consequences of their habit (thev can't help it) of miss mg connections and having to he over lor several hours at small towns at unseasonable hours, and as to how'von can secure a ride on advertised schedule, over the finest railroads leading from the South to the North and West, and feel secure and jovial and surround ed by the best ot traveling comrades, write to or center with J ’ J. A. MeDVFFIE, G. A. WHITEHEAD. JOS M BROWN ti. P. Agt., B. A W. R. R., G . p. Agt. C . R. K „ * P Ag R W. H. LUCAS, J. T. HOSFORD, J. P. BECKWITH, Geo. M. BROWNr~~~* Pass Agt. Trav. Pass Agt. Fla. Agt. Sol Ag t . 58 West Bay Street, JACKSONVILLE, FLA. VIA THE Under 3 Managements (You Bet You’ll Get There) FdOTJTE. The trains on this line ‘Tom Waycross to Boyce are under 3 different but entirely har monious managements, whose trains run in coni ection with each other, and wait on I each other when necessary. - - - - ■■ —■ OLD BELIAffI DIMS. (So called because she don’t fool you with misleading advertisements, and you can depend on her getting you there in time.) Lv. Jacksonville,.. ,S. E. AW. 7.00 pm “ Callahan “ 8.00 “ “ Waycross B. A W 10.35 “ “ Tv Tv “ 2.38 am “Albany C. R. R. 4.10 “ “ Andersonville “ 5.50 “ “ Macon “ 8.40 “ “ Atlanta W. AA. 1.30 pm 1 *‘ Marietta “ 2.22 “ “ Kennesaw “ 2.40 “ “ Allatoona . “ 3.07 “ “ Dalton “ 5.30 “ Ar. Boyce. “ 6.42 “ Lv. Boyce Cin. Sou. 6.50 “ Ar. Cincinnati “ 6.50 am A Scene From Tim IMo. I (ADAPTED.) A crowd of merry tourists in a gorgeous Palace and Buffet Sleeping Car of the “0. RT Express talking animatedly. And we are right, 1 think you’ll say, To argue in this kind of way. And 1 am right, And you are right, And all is right—too—looral—lay! (Singing.) The flowers that bloom in the spring, Tra la. Breathe promise of merry sunshine — As we merrilv dance and sing, Tra la, We welcome the hope that they bring, Tra la, Os a summer of roses and wine; And that s what we mean when we say that a thing, Is welcome as flowers that bloom in the ! spring. [Tra la! la! la! la, etc.]