Newspaper Page Text
8
GULLEY'S THEORY.
( ,How Ho Proposes to Restore the
Worn-Out Land.
•A WONDERFULLY SUCCESSFUL FARM
t
, Stahkyilt-K, MiM., November 26. —[Staff
Correspondence of Tur. Constitl’TJOX.]—The
forming operations of the Mississippi ngricul
(ttttßl college here are very extensive, and the
swult of those operations are sotnew hat un
'.RjUal. The farm, and it is a large one, is not
[duly self-sustaining, hut is actually a source of
ilitenuo to the college.
'1 JThis fact, more titan any olher, perhaps, is
ITO* main reason why the institution has grown
hp the confidence and favor of the public. The
I farmers, as a rule, have but little respect for
theoretical agriculture, but when they behold
With their own eyes the theory in successful
[practice, it challenges their admiration, and,
jftough at first unwillingly, nevertheless gains
'their confidence and respect.
The agricultural feature of the college is un
der thopersonal supervision of Professor !■'. A.
Gulley, w ho in addition to tho chair of agri
'ftUturo holds the place of superintendent of
fflriu work. Professor Gulley is a young man,
■and has been with the college since its organi
■#gtlon; a graduate of the I diversity of Mich
igan, a practical and expcrieinl agriculturist,
lit is difficult to imagine a man better qualified
Ito fill the onerous position he occupies. I
'Spent one whole day with him, together v.e
'tfent over the two thousand acres comprising
the place, ca< h field was visited, and the tnet.h
odsautl system employed in the production of
tlm crops were carefully explain
ed. Combined with great intelli
gence, rare judgment, Professor Gulley
has al) of tho energy and progress of the
groat northwest, and in eight years lie has con
verted an old, worn out place in north Missis
sippi into as fine and productivo a plantation
as any in that section.
ft is interesting to know the means he cm
ployed.’t ■> follow him in hit work, and as Pres
ident Ise remarked the other day,if the college
)>as succeeded in doing nothing besides teaching
Him people, how to restore worn out land, the
.hem fits to be. derived from that knowl
edge will more than compensate
for any outlay that has been made
in tho establishment of the in-
Btitutiou. Tho late lamented Furman in Geor
gia popularized a system of farming known as
the inti nsive system, and his memory is held
in sacred recollci lion almost by his agricul
tural brethren all over the country. Fnr
ymin's work was a great one, and he well de
served the npplrtfisc and fame he received, but
how mm li greater the service to the state and
to tho former is the work of a man who has
taught them how to rest ore to set I ility land that
fm yi nr ; had been abandoned as practically
worth less and unproductive. And that has
been Prof, t,alley's work in Mississippi.
Ile cal! hie ‘y-teui tlie extensive one in con
tradiction to tho intensive system; he has
written niuch about it that has attracted atten
tion among agriculturalists all over the coun
try, hut Im has done better than that; he
placed it in operation on the college farm, and
I the results as shown in the incieascd value of
Ltho laud, in its increased productive power,
lias more than justified the expectations of
the professor, and Ids college associates, in tho
Bucci -of the. theory and the system.
' 'When Prof. Gulley took charge of the farm,
lit contained F.IJ4 acron, 1750 of which wore in
Cultivation. The place originally had been a
cotton plantation, planted year after year in
that Maple, and consequently had gotten so
poor that the very negro tenants upon it had
Jpft it to keep from starving. It was in thi
■ condition when the state purchased it for tho
college. <lencral Lee told me tho other day that
when he saw the character of tho land upon
Which ho had to work, and upon which the in
Btitution was to make its record, that his heart
failed him, and ho could not see a
way out of the difficulty. Prof. Gulley said
today that when ho first looked over the place
ho thought tho outlook for success was very
poor. But both men went to work, andjwitli
energy and skill made out of what they be
lieved at first was their ruin as conspicuous a
buccoss a i was over displayed to tho public eye.
Horn and there upon the place were strips of
gwd bottom land, end upon that it was easy
enough to succeed. Wherever the land wa
good enough for cultivation the intensive sys
tem was followed, but for a number of years
the work of Prose .sor Gulley was to build up
and rehabilitate Ids worn-out land.
Let us see how he did it. Ho saw that cot
ton could nevcT be slicci’s fully raised upon tho
,-Jaad for a long period, and he at once dismiss
ed all id: aof planting it. Ho saw that the
hope of tho farm consisted in restoring tho
.land to f< rtility, and to do that it wnsmeessa
’ ''c cattle All the money ho could
Command he invested in common cattle, at the
Same time buying a fine Jersey bull. Ho
jjeitct d oil the hillsides into different fields
Jluid tuned Ids herd upon it, at the same time
,-feeding tin in upon cotton seed. After nastur
i||tg for a year or longer, lie endeavored to got
a stand of Japan clover, which grows wild in
borne sections, and which is a popular food
With stock This clever or ,-ecd will not
grow upon poor land, and w henever u shows
lip in a good stand you may bo certain that
. the land is getting in good condition. Now.
nio result of this pasturing was two fold:
first, the cattle were daily cnvhrhing the land,
and the < attic were also daily getting fatter.
Boiled cotton seed na a food produced the fol- I
Jewing results with Prof. Gulley: Two very '
( ordinary sts -rs, inn poor, unthrifty condition, |
wore fed upon boiled cotton seed, besides re
ceiving ordinary food. Steer No. 1. four years
old. weighing 708 pounds, was fed 56 day s and
rained ‘-To pounds, or 4.61 pounds per day ;
Btecr No. ”, twenty months old. welghim' :W
pounds, fed Iff days, gained '.’lo pounds, or l.Sff
pounds per day. Prof. Gulley estimates tho ■
gam in weight to have cost not exceed- I
ing I'l cents per pound. The value ei '
the nmnnro arising from cotton seed
food is largely in excess of tho ordinary |
manure in jmiut of fertilizing properties, 'l i e I
past nra■;<» of the land in this manner produced
the two fold results lucres h, fertility and
in the value of thocattle When tlm eattle
Would e msume everything upon the hind, the
dapau clover would bo allowed to get a mod
Stand, when that too would be pastured. Tiiis
'l* fattening to cattle and very appetizing, and
nt the same time its roots contain largo fortil
iring pr qs'rtii* that assisted in enriching the
land. Hie clover was allowed to stand say
two year . when the cattit were taken off. and
tho land broken up. but the enriching pro. ess
pursued by an intelligent system of plant in:..
I For instance, tho first year ho would planj
com. followed by peas, which were turned un
det. The second year elox erw mild Im> plant.-.1.
and it win allowe<l to remain tho third vear.
Zach y. ’.r two crops were gathered from the
Vlovcr for whiter ft edit ... and the laud then
Was b< nnb.g to y i,-ld. ’ib. f. ttrth year 1;<-
Would plant oats. win. It v - ■ (. |. v , , ts
It tain, which wire turn, d >.t ... r. Now. f. r
Bix y, arc ;1,. land | liU i p, n tl , Ul .,] t 0 ~ |(rt<
t’.ut 1 >:n planted h.ul contributed. tn t
F" at t .. . „re, to it. fertility. and if. at the
L-gim .it was toop -m to make a pnv in ;
toe i'. .. .. ,| upon .- w. ■ j u q
Attlu Vt st ealet.lat.on. t'.c land had b. ."I
impt. , -txty per .s nt in its fertility. and. of
coi rs. nd iner. et d cot re-pondmgly in its
valu. in at! lition. it had given support
n .’."i'er t.f cattle ;n the wuv
Os piec.mgo. ie,l Ju supplying p-..<.
•udt x v. *ntvru>.. *' 4th uxvt.Hsof
the « jujcnt o f thi> j NteiH. tUv cuttle hu.l
increased in value. The breeding had been
going on, and the grade had constantly grown
nearer to that of the full Jersey. Each year
the beef cattle had supplied the college with
all the frosh meat it desired, while the mar
ketable cattle had been sold and the proceeds
reinvested in others that were treated to pre
cisely the same procc.'-.s, and which ii turn
yielded an annual profit.
Now a herd started in just the way I have
described, and for the purposes 1 have named,
has increased tremendously. This year the
college has 380 head in ail, divided into 45
head of pure Jerseys, Devons, Durhams and
Holsteins, 175 head of graded cattle, and
fifty-five head of common breed. The cattle rep
resent the profit of the farmer; the high grade
cows supply milk for a creamery whose daily
product is 150 pounds of as fincfbutter as a
man ever saw upon his table. This butter is
shipped to New Orleans where it is sold to
hotels and restaurants. A practical butter
maker is at the head of the dairy, but the stu
dents perform the greater part of the work.
They soon become expert dairymen and
makers, and every year numerous applications
are received by General from the pro
prietors of large stock farms asking for some
intelligent student to take charge of the work
there. General Lee called to mind a dozen or
more boys who had secured positions in just
this manner, and without a single exception
every one hud done well and given perfect sat
isfaction.
Professor Gulley, of course, in pursuing this
system of reclaiming land, does not undertake
to reclaim all at once, He confines his oj ‘ ra
tions to a limited number of acres each year,
in order that it may be thoroughly done. The
rest of the farm is cultivated with intelligence
and feed crops arc grown entirely. Nothing
else is cultivated, for tiie reason that tho ob
ject is to raise food for the cattle, for by the
eattic the profit is made. Ho does not plant
eotton, for the reason that he has not yet got
ten the land, to that point where he believes
cotton could be raised with profit. Whenever
he :-u<-coeds in accomplishing that, his pur
pose is to raise some cotton, but bis theory is
that no one can afford to plant cotton on poor
land. A largo amount of worn-out, worthless
land has been reclaimed in eight years; once
gotten up to the standaid, or even to the point
where its product is paying, the land is never
allowed to go backwards, but by a system of
rotation of crops and by putting on it the profit
over and al>ov(; the expense of cultivating it
each year, in the shape of permanent fertiliza
tion. the land is yearly growing richer and
ri< her.
Tho cost of working the college farm, in
cluding the wages of the foreman, is about
V2,(XX) per year. This expense is met by the
sale of cattle, butter, milk, etc. Take, for in
stance, one year, and I choose 18X5, for the
reason that I have the figures before me: >'Mis
worth of cattle were sold, 5J.217.71 worth of
beef on foot wore sold, 52,293.:»7 worth of milk
was sold, $581.96 worth of butter, while the
products ct field crops, over and above what
was necessary for the place, amounted to
$811.50. Here from five items was realized
$6,902.57, and at the same time the college
supplied 276 student h with everything they
desired, that could be raised or supplied from
the farm. Professor Gulley admits that he
could not make this showing without the
aid of cattle, but you will observe
that ho could not inaugurate
the system of improving his land without tho
cattle. Evtrything that is made over and
above the co tof production goes right back
upon the land in the way in permanent im
provements. Mile after milo of fencing has
been erected, this is necessary because of the
system of pasturing, ditches have been cut,
terraces have been built, old hillsides that for
years held up to heaven tho barrest of faces
have been sodded with grass, fields whose lo
cations and whose soils prevent them from be
ing planted in cereals have been sown and
sodded in different grasses. Bermuda, the
Georgia farmers pest and salvation
has been imported by the barrel full
and its long roots bedded in the
ground; orchards of apple, peach, pear, and
vineyards have been started, and bid fair to
be wondrously successful. The agricultural
college last year shipped nearly a thousand
dollars’ worth of strawberries to Chicago, and
also placed on market other articles like
grapes, fruit, etc. Ju a few years, when the
orchards get older, the revenue from this
source will be something amazing.
At this place everything is worked to ad
vantage. Nothing is wasted. More care is
taken than there is bestowed upon the places
of a thousand farmers combined. Students
arc taught habits that alone will do much to
make them successful farmer’' ; tools and im
plements do not remain in the fields, but are
brought to tho yard and phu’ed under shelter,
•ami when the year’s work is completed, they
are painted and repaired and stored away for
the next y(*ar's use.
The people about Starkville who know this
place eight years ago tell me a t runs form ati<n
sutuie has been wrought here, and in another
letter 1 ill gi\e a comparison of figures and
facts that will, in a measure, show tho degree
and nature of the “wondrous transformation. n
11. h. r.
——■■■■■ ■■ • -
There is more experience, time, and brain
work r» pr<*amted in the preparation of Hood’s
Sai tparilla than in any otber medicine. It is
tl - whioh makes llomi’s Sarsaparilla peculiar
in its curative power, ami in the remarkable
cures it effects. Give it a trial.
The Killing of a ! 'lothvr-in-l.aw
I’lKMixt.Ham. Ala., November 23. [Spec
ial.) Two negn t'x. named \\ iley Lewis ami ;
Sun Koan. wert‘ arrested here today on the
rha :<• of murder. Last Saturday night a
no:.10 woman named Alice Williams. H\ingat
Selma, was called to her do >r and shot dead.
She was the mother-in-law of Lewis, and it is
charged that he hired Koan to kill her in or- :
der to get p< ssessivn of some property she
owned in this rity. An otiivvv from Selma |
< nine for the prisoners, but their friends got a |
writ of habeas corpus, and they were placed
in jail here until the writ is argued tomorrow
morning.
Carter's Little Lixvr Pills are free from all
crude and irritating matter. Concent rated
medicine only; very small: very easy to take;
no 1 ain; no griping. m» purging.
An f'ronomist.
J'nnn tho Arkansaw Traveler.
‘ How much yer charge ter go or mile." an eV!
negro asked ot usttovt car conductor. “I wantor
wo out ter roe I‘rc.dder l.ie< Xmlf. Ain't er flesh an’
Not'd bruddev, yet, vivlvrstan’, jes or I rudder in
de faith.”
‘•Five cents.”
• .h s fur er mile* 1 tel’, yer (tat de man ain’ mor
sho uufl bvudder—jes a bruddvr in de faith.”
‘ The faro is five cents.”
‘■.les hirer mik’'”
•Acs.”
“llvw much Is U fUr two miles.
••Just the same.”
”Lo k yerv, V. »w far y.r k me fur tV cents?”
| ‘ Ink© me Ul de way out dar fur ff cents.”
• ku won’t take 1 c n > mo n er m '.e w ar Itr id
•1 ain’t jot nabhin Mon.t d '. at yr- Hmits but
yer may take me on out dar nn’ I Hm luckier
Warivudder Maif Y.r.. > vet v'-: -
•
1 ’1 4 >:’ity tool man dal would |-a> er del nr hirer ja r
('ontumptl -n "in 1 ly < urrd.
To the F liter:
1 • eof info’m x • . * ‘.' at Ihvc n p.' the
. I.'? thoUMim*© of hop *■- . have t«ee.i f«crma
mv emvdv rari to m vol xour rcaifeutwhu have
■ ■
1 p'lottav addrv k K* 0.-tht.h .
I T. A. SIAK IM. MS~WI oa st \ . \
HIE WEEKLY CONSTITUTION. ATLANTA, GA„ TUESDAY. NOVEMBER 29, 1887,
BILL_ARP.
He Says the Negro is Still a Cu
riosity.
ABOUT THE OLD TOWNS OF ALABAMA
Alabama is mighty close kin to u< She is
our sister and our daughter, too. She is a lit
tle stuck up around Birmingham and Annis
ton and Decatur, and carries tier nose in the
air just like some children lord it over the old
folks and make them take a back seat. But I
found the old settlers down in the canebrake
region very filial and affectionate. Tho peo
ple have changed less by emigration and im
migration Girin any region I have visited. Tho
old standard towns of Selma and Demopolis
and Uniontown and Greensboro and Marion
and Eutaw and Livingston are still solid and
sure, for they have health and climate and a
vast area of black land to back them. They
are proud of tho new cities that, are develop
ing their mineral wealth, but there is a
siiadow of regret that these new towns
are enticing their host men away. Many
of the most progressive citizens in all
these towns have moved to Birmingham
and Anniston, and have carried their money
and their brains with them. Tho best law
yers ami doctors and merchants and tho best
preachers have gone. Where the carcass is
there will the eagles be gathered together, and
tho eagle you know is the great American bird
that is stamped upon money and follows it
about.
The country 'is tho nursery of the towns,
and the towns are tho nurseries of our cities,
it is just so everywhere. When a
farmer gets ricli enough to go to
town he goes, for tho town has
good schools and churches and society. When
a town merchant gets a little ahead lie gets
ambitious, and wants to get rich with more
alacrity. Ile becomes a little uppity and bigity,
and so moves to the city. Just so witli lawyers
and doctors, and oven tlio preachers are not
proof against high salaries and beautiful
churches. We needn't talk about the
negroes going to town. White folks
love to go to town too. Sonic of them go to
educate their children, but a good many go
like the father goes to the circus just to please
the children. The town is a fair compromise
between tho city and the country. It is not so
good as the country, but a good deal better
than the city. I wouldent live in a city. I
wouldcnt live in Atlanta or Birmingham if I
could help it. Why, my folks can’t keep up
with tiinxisiting right lure in Cartersville.
They are away behind in their calls. They have
toki-ep.-i list just like keeping a muster roll, tt
keeps them trotting half the time. They talk
about calls just like we talk about debtsand
attach about Hie same importance to them.
They delight to lune folks come to see them,
for it flatters their consequence. I love to sit
by and hear them talk over their calls and tell
wiiat Mrs. A said and Mrs. B .said, and the
mother-in-law and tho old grandmother, and
how the children behaved, and they can tell
more innocent news than I thought was in the
town. That is all right. That is social pleasure,
and we are all social beings. But in a city it is
impossible for folks to keep up with so many
visitors, and so they (have to classify into
sets, and these sets try to draw the lines of de
marcation, but they can't do it exactly, and so
tlicy dovetail into one another in spite of all
they can do. Women are very peculiar about
this set business—these social distinctions.
Money is generally at the bottom of it—a big
pile of money—but money is frequently set-otf
by culture and style. A rich family without
culture ranks pretty well witli a pcxir family
with culture. The trouble is that this keeps
the poor family on a strain to keep into line,
and Ido think that the rich folks ought to
give boot and help these poor folks out, for a
rich scrub is not equal to a poor thoroughbred.
Folks wbo have nothing else to think about
are veiy jealous of this ostracism of the
set i. Kven pool folks with no culture at all
are affected by it. Once upon a time
Dr. Felton s. ; nt some garden seed
from Washington to my poor nabor
Mis. Williams but didn't send any to Mrs.
Jones, and it made Mrs. Jones mad With .Mrs.
Williams and the doctor too, and she said to
my wife, “Dr. Felton tuk and sant a passel of
guiding scedjto Betsy Ann Williams, hut he
never sent mo any and I'm jest as good as
Betsy Ann Williams. Dick siiant vote for
him miry uother time—that he sliaiit.” And
Dick didn’t. A candidate must always send
seed to succeed.
These Alabama towns ate prospering and
have good schools and churches, and good .so
ciety. Nobody lives in the country except the
negroes. The black land region is black with
them all the week except Saturday, and then
they go to town and paint tlie town black.
1 arrived in Eutaw one Saturday evening and
could hardly get through for tho negroes, and
was told it wasn’t a very good Saturday for
them either. They were all in a good humor
and as happy as possible. If they brought any
money they spent it. If they had any credit
they used it. If they had neither they came
anyhow just to have a good time.
They have got a new kind of religion down
there now, am! it is spreading f ist. It is
called “Sheep-calling.” and is taken from the.
scripture that says, “feed my sheep.” An old
preacher darky takes a basket ot shelled corn
on his arm ami goes out behind a big tree in
the woods ami begins to cali his sheep. You
can hear him half a mile away saying, “Co
iieep. co-sliecp, co-sheep,” ami by and by tho
durki >s begin to come from the neighboring
woods, where they have been hiding, and they
come hinting mid crying, “baa- baa—baa,”
and some comes on their all-fours, and they
cut up ail sorts of capers, and the young rani's
fall over one another and butt their hcails to
gether, and still they come and cry “baa -baa.”
and each one goes up io tho old
darky and gets a grain of
corn and goes away witii another
b.ia and takes rou idanee, aid alter a while,
comes back again tor another grain of corn,
and so on, and so on all the day. They are all
bhiek sheep, and remind one of tho old song,
"Ba-a, ba-a, black sheep, got any’ wool.”
The negro is still a curiosity-an unsolved
problem. Judge AV ebb, of Eutaw, an elegant
old gi ntlenuui of leisure and observation, told
mo that a negro was tried in their court for
“iareeny after trust.” Two boxes of tobacco
were entrusted to him to be hauled some dis
tance and bo delivered to the purchaser. He
arrived at bix destination witli only one box,
mid could not account for the other except by
saying that another negro rodo w ith liim on
tlio wagon a part of tho way, and he didn’t
know when he got off. lie seemed greatly
troubled about it, and offered to work it out,
but. nevertheless, he was indicted and ar
raigned for trial. The case was
fully proved against him. and there
seemed no escape from conviction, but a
kind hearted lawyer volunteered to defend
him. and said in substance: "Gentlemen of
the jury, this negro did not steal that tobacco,
nor was he knowing or willing to its disap
pearance. 1 have been raised with negroes.
My first cry was in my black maiiniiy's arms,
and from my early youth until now 1 have
been an observer of the negro's character, and
Ilutxe yet to learn of a single case where the
m-gio xg-.s guilty of a broach of trust. lie will
lie mi 1 be will steal, but 1 put it to you uow in
all seriousm >s. did you ex er entrust anything to
him and lie tailed lo take care of it mid deliver
it it ho could'.' Never. I put this question to
his honor on the bench, and to this bar, and to
these bystanders, did yon over know of a case
where a nogro betravid a trust'.'”
Then ho rehears;il hi. faithfulness during
the war—ami how when hi-; master was far
away on tho tented field, ho stood by
the wife mid the children, and was
their friend aud protector. Ue said tho negro
had some lad traits and bad passions, but he
mvor vas known to be guilty of abroach of
trust
'i ' e jury was profoundly impressul, mid so
was the court Judge AV ebb remarked to a
!■ ■ ml. “tl. it jury mill ac,,,iit that m gro," and
they did. Tin-other darky stole the tobacco,
for lie was under no judiciary obligation.
It is suite trawl oGii.ind through this
spl< n i'.d I i.nklan.l region mid see the' stately
m i.-cns i.cserted ami tumbling into ruin.
I'! e o I i iti-ician families who lived there,
-at ro.uide,l by their slaves, h ive passed away,
or m<0,,1 away, and their descendents i.re
struggling in the towns or on the railreads for
a living: many ot them are the best bkxxl of
the south, ami they show it still in their pluck
i ami energy under misfortune.
Gieen-'boro is a l>emiti(ul t -wn. There is
wealth there aad refinement. It is the home
o Governor s, av. the most ]>opnlar man in
the state, excepting, perhaps. Si nator Slorcan.
I nioiitow n boasts of her annual fairs, w hich
haxa boon a sncocss for niaux sears
Livinston has the Normal Female college, a
state institution that is the pride of her people,
and well deserves the praise. In the public
square there is a mineral artesian weli that is
last becoming celebrated lor its healing w aters.
“AVhat have you got at Eutaw?” said 1 to a
friend.
"AVhat constitutes a state?” said he proud
ly, "Men who their duties know, but know
their rights; and knowing, dare maintain.”
“AA’e have a good people, sir. Look at that
grand old gentleman, Mr. Dunlap, now past
four score years aud is the accepted leader of
the Sabbath school and the best singer in the
town, and exemplary in all the virtues that
belong to a Ciiristian gentleman. He is a
pie of our people. He leads and they follow.
Then we have the site of the old Mesopotamia
church, the oldest church in this region, and
near it is the old grave yard.
"AVhere the rude fore-fathers of the hamlet
sleep.” There is history buried there —history
those people did not worship Mammon. No,
sir; they worshipped God.” Bill Arp.
SNAPPY AND SCRAPPY.
.” >'■ 0. ’muff Pieayiinr; The waves of oi l ocean
are by no means ready to sleep when they put their
white caps on.
Doelon Courier: Has a pig any use for a tail?
asks an inquisitive agricultural contemporary. AVe
don't know, but we should say the mini who wants
to cat h a pig has.
Chicago Tribune: A father in Duquesna. Pa., has
named his first-born Thomas Benton Schnatterly
Boyle Cleveland Genius of Liberty Flemming, If
the boy lives he will be an anarchist, and no right
minded person can blame him for it.
Somerville Journal: People who have studied into
the origin of phrases al! agree that the saying, “I
acknow ledge the corn” was invented by a man. A
woman never acknowledges a corn, no matter in
what condition a busband may find his pet razor.
Yonkers Statr.onan: Millions of eggs are imported
to this country every year. But they are not for
table purposes so much as for platform uses. Some
thing stronger than the American egg is needed for
lecturers nowadays.
Pittsburg Chronicle: "AVhat decoration scandal is
this that the son-in-law of the French'.president is
involved in?” asked Mrs. Snaggs,
“Decoration?” replied Snaggs. “Oh, I suppose he
has been p-shtting the-lown red.”
~jjloston Courier: "Mith Thmith,” he asked, as he
drew up his collar and adjusted his single eyeglass,
“do you believe in the Darwinian theory, believe
that man is dethended from a monkey?”
“No," she replied, surveying him from head to
foot, “I believe the very reverse*”
Drake’s Magazine: Even at 87,0.0 a year a judge's
life is full of trials.
Binghamton Leader: The best waiter at a board
inghouse is, not infrequently, the boarder.
Boston Gazette: A man in this city culls his wife
Ann Archy, because she is always blowing him up.
Pittsburg Chronicle: The president of a knitting
company has defaulted and disappeared. As for
the stockholders he socked it to them.
Louisville Courier-Journal: There lias been an in
crease of desertion from the army, but the commis
sioned officers appear to be all there,
A'eio Orleans Picayune: A man cannot remember
a tiling by pasting it in his hat. The pasting does
not prevent the mau from forgetting his hat, paste
aud all.
Horristown Herald: Some one says that a pocket
book is an awkward thing for a lady to handle. AU
the same, if the pocketbook is tull she handles it so
vigorously and successfully that it feels mighty
weak when she gets through with it.
Charlestown Enterprise: AV’ants the earth—a
corpse.
Exchange: You can smell some men's "smiles”
even w hen you can't see them.
Mornin.o Jottnial.- “Good sport, Tommy?” “Oh,
fair. Shot a cow and an old woman. Both doing
well.”
Ctartrsfomi Enterprise: AVhy is a small boy like
a drum? Because the Larder you beat it the more
noise it makes.
Life: Considering the price of fashionable bon
nets, we begin to think the word “millionaire” is
but a corruption of milliner.
Somerville Journal: A’olapuk, the new world lan
guage, has but one swear word. Some inventors
d< n't seem to have any common sense.
LouM Courier: Princess Beatrice has a daughter.
The list of dependents upon the British tax payers
grows large by degrees and beautifully more.
Boston Transcript: Scientists say that the savage
has a more acute sense of smell than civilized peo
ple. When two savages get together how they must
suiter!
Philadelphia Call: It is said that Queen A’ictoria
never accepts poetry unless it is enclosed in a rare
casket or vase. That is a capital idea for some ot
our country newspapers.
Chicago Tribune: A Kentucky jury has acquitted
a man named Pendulumof murder, and so he won’t
have to swing
Picaitune: The man who complains of a free
lunch should go buy the board.
Erw Haven Xcws: It is said that the pet dogs of
Fifth avenue are soon to have a club. I.et it be a
heavy one.
Arw Orleans Times-Democrat: The Coagregatlon
alist recently published a satirical article on the
evils of smoking entitled: "Ought Not AVomon to
Smoke?” The satire, however, was not perceived
by a number of “constant readers” and “old sub
scribers,” who wrote to the editor expostulating
with him for advocating the use of tobacco by
women.
Exchange: A little curly-headed girl was walking
about one Sunday afternoon in her garden. A little
neighbor culled to her to come over and play. She
refused, but upon being urged to come looked up
with a quite sad and indignant face and exclaimed:
“What! I p'ay on Sunday? Don't you know this is
God’s day, audit's the only day he's got?”
Cincinnati Telegram: A few mornings since, at
breakfast, in a rich Clifton home, a little tot paral
yzed his matermil progenitor by exclaiming: “Mam
ma, I love you better than I love oatmeal.”
•■Do you love that much, dear?” was the tender
rejoinder.
“Well, I ain't stuck on it.”
Exchange: An Ohio pireacher visiting in Boston
asked a bright woman there about her religious be
lief. He was shocked to tiud that she didn't:seem to
have any. "How can you be happy without iaith?”
he asked. “Doesn't your womnuly nature demand
a belief in something." ’ “Oh, yes," she answered,
-and 1 give absolute belief to each Boston craze as
long as it lasts, and that uot only satisfies the de
mands of my womanly nature for faith, but also for
variety."
Exchange: "Clarence,” exclaimed his’ mother,
"come to me quickly, dear. How pale you are.
How stnngcly you look. A'ouareill. I smell tobac
co. Ob, Clarence, you have a tobacco heart.”
Clarence shook his head and gasped feebly.
“Nome," he said, moving away in the direction of
the lonely cow barn: “nome 'tain't my heart." And
with white, compressed li; she was gone behind
the barn; not lost, but gone behind: though lost to
sight, to memory and other faculties quite alto
gether perfectly audible.
Durifrttr.*
His yankee feet are on out shore,
Nool o'vhau. our Sool o'vhan!
He's come to tap the British gore,
Sool o'vhan, our Soo! o'vhau!
Let Bison,AVilliam hunt his hole:
His fame i« now a broken bowl—
One man alone charms Englund's soul,
Sool o'vhau, our Sool o'vhan!
Baltimore American.- Said an aged matron to me
once: “AVhcn my cousin AVilliam came home from
his three years' cruise his blue cloth suit with brass
buttons looked very old-fashioned, aud I said:
‘Cousin AVilliam, you should buy yourself some new
clothes; you can afford it.’ But he answered: Tdo
not worry about my clothes. Cousin Mary; I have
brought home four sliotl ans full of gold pieces, and
the girls will marry me now. ” And to my, “Did
any one marry him?'’ she replied, while a faint
tinge mantled her aged cheeks. “Yes, 1 married
him.”
♦
.ANGOSTUUA BITTERS, the world ro
now ued appetizer and invigorator- I sed now
over tire «holo civilized world. Try it. but
beware of iiiiitations. Ask your grocer or
druggist for the genuine article, manuf.i-.-tured
by Dr. J. G ■ B. Seigert <N Sons.
Twice Surprise,!.
From the Chicago Tribune.
Young AVife (at dinner table sobbing)—l
think you—y -. u—are Just r - menu as—as—you can
le. I in# te that apple dumpling as apk-;.s.iin sur
prise fa you, and—and now—you—want me to
bring a handsaw to cut it in two with,
Young Husband - Good heavens, Maria' 1- t’.at a
dumpling 1 took it for a cocoanut. (AVith d raper
ale ui': ®ss.) I’2 cat it now. Marta, ifit kills me
An Extended I’opularity, Brown's Bros
niiAL Tnocttts have for many years been the most
; popular artlelc iu use tor reUeTiug Coughs and
! h real troubles.
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This book contains 480 pages; is eight and one half inches lone, six inches wide, and two inches
thick. It Is printed on extra heavy paper, an-1 is handsomely bound, xvith embossed cover and gilt
lettered baek.
It Is Different from AU Other Works of the Kind Ever Published.
First. It teaches those who have it how to tell what the matter is whi n a person gets sick!
Al! similar books tell what to do if you know what tho disease is. Thia book tells you howto
detect the disease, aud then what to do for it.
NO OTHER BOOK PUBLISHED DOES THIS.
Second. AVl.en a person is n illy attacked by a dang.-rou-’ 'lisi-ase. it em Me« you to know the fart,
and in cases its advice is: ".'end lor a competent physician at once.” Hut tn all or licnry .".sea,
-.li ns can I e easily- cured un i i >o’t of the ailments of a .arnlly are of tl kind if onlv v. n , ould
.’iiize li. :n H gtv.--« full dlreeitons :o- t:-.atment. The point is. that it tea. his you to dlstin.iuiah
b-.-twei na ■' mcer-us mid a trifling d as.. an.l tells you w be:i it .S necessary, and when uot .nary,
to call a physician.
NO OTHER BOOK PUBLISHED DOES THIS.
Thir 1. In !’.« directions for treatment It is not confined to the practice 1 by nny one c'of phyrf
ctansf V. tit gives. Ferarutely. and f>f ench disease, tbe tnethoas used by ea <: the <1 r >»13”
yu U i tin : 1 ■. ' the ;r • ripti ’ns are made by tLt most eminent nun n their i< e live
niok ■ ir. • • i. . . s th© vurk spectally sta vd to the necUs us e\ery fain; iy, no matter what
“school ’ oi medicine they prefer.
NO OTHER BOOK PUBLISHED DOES THIS.
Bcm 1 r t’.> thcic an? three chapters in the work which are worthy oftp.- al mention, namely: thoae
on • l i «.*'• s of Women.” “Disease* of Infants. ’ and ‘‘c are of the Sick.”
Ihv i-n of t’ <.-• 1« an; *kl of its kind. It is cLa-t- in tanipMiap c ntains
forchlldn- to imp) en < n and Ik over c ..’.uua sh ut, and takvn alkajciner k th< mo>t practical, febs.bla
an.’. Mralghtf treatise v.pm thi*» delicate subject that has ever been printed.
Ibis chapter aluav i> worth many times the cCst of the book to every mother, even if it had to be
! purchased at iu regular price.