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THE TRI-WEEKLY JOURNAL
ATLANTA, GA., 5 NORTH FORSYTH ST.
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to THE TRI WEEKLY JOURNAL. Atlanta. Ga.
A Rich Georgia Opportunity
NOTING that South Georgia produces
about two hundred thousand pounds
\ of wool a year, the Valdosta Times re
marks, “The yield ought to be twice as
much.”
At least twice as much it ought to be for
the southern and mid-state counties, and
many times as much for the mountain dis
tricts. The region best suited to sheep rais
ing, in the judgment of animal husbandry
specialists, is that north of a line from Rich
mond to Muscogee counties. Yet at the time
of the last census this half of Georgia con
tained only sixteen thousand three hundred
sheep, as against fifty-five thousand six hun
dred to the south of the line. Further, the
number of sheep in the state as a whole de
creased from on j hundred and fifty-two
thousand six hundred in 1910 to some seven
ty-two thousand In 1920—a loss of more
than fifty-two per ce.it.
That this should be the plight of an in
dustry for which Georgia is so excellently
suited and which so abounds with opportuni
ties for profit is greatly to be regretted. The
sheep has been called “the animal of the
golden hoof” because of its continual enrich
ment of the land it treads and also because
of its plenteous production of wool, to say
nothing of mutton, touching this twofold re
turn, a recent bulletin of the State College of
Agriculture points out that while the initial
investment is small, profits can be realized
within a year. Moreover, “Sheep keep the
shade on the hilltop instead of the river, thus
distributing manu.-e on the poorest and worst
er dried soil-.”. The institution urges that
there be, especially in the mountain region,
a marked increase in the number as well as
the size of flocks, “both with the small land
owner and on the vast unused areas.”
This good counsel, it is to be hoped, will
be taken up by leade/s alike in business and
ir agriculture, and turned to substantial re
suite. Millions of dollars of direct profit and
untold sums of indhect but permanent value
will thus be added to the commonwealth.
Truth of the Texas Primary
THE reason for Earle B. Mayfield’s vic
tory over former Governor Ferguson
in the Democratic Senatorial primary
in Texas is not far to seek nor, once the cir
cumstances are understood, possible to mis
take.
Mr. Mayfield’s opponent, though follow
ed by certain Quixotic faithfuls, seems to
have impressed the majority as one who in
any event must be beaten. As Governor he
had been impeached, leaving a record which
under even the most charitable construction
appeared woven through with incompetency;
and while his bluster pleased the crowd, his
exceeding unsuitableness for the office of
United States Senator was obvious to the
rank and file. Thus in the tecond primary,
when the candidates were thinned to two,
the chief concern of Texas Democrats was to
prevent the former Governor’s nomination.
For accomplishing this they had but one
means—they had to vote for Mayfield. If
to many the choice seemed little better than
between jazz and rag-time, still they pro
ceeded as practical philosophers and. elected
the lesser evil. That Mr. Mayfield happened
to be indorsed by the Ku Klux Klan was no
more the cause of his victory than that he
happened to be indorsed by the Anti-Saloon
League. To what extent and to what effect
the Klan figured at all in the election ap
pears in the fact that well-nigh every other
candidate on whom it cast its favor was de
feated. That is the real and the only sig
nificant upshot of th organization’s part in
the campaign.
To suppose that its influence determined
the Senatorial nomination would be to miss
the salient problem and meaning of the
Texas primary. The limit of choice being as
it was, the Texas democracy could not in
reason have made a different decision, and
was no more swayed by masks than by
the helmets of the Trojans, dead and for
gotten these four thousands years.
Big Words and Little
GOMES a quester of the curious an
nouncing that the longest word in
English is disestablishmentarianism.
But this contains only nine syllables and four
and twenty letters. In Sanskrit, he adds,
there is a word with one hundred and fifty
two syllables.
That is what Shakespeare would call
“drawing out the thread of verbosity finer
than the staple of argument”—which is re
mindful that the longest word in that in
comparable master of words is, if memory
serves us, “Honorificalitudinatibus.” But he
was laughing, mind you, when he used it.
Elsewhere he has said, "There is much virtue
In ‘lf.’ ” Certainly, more of human history
has turned upon “if” than upon all the poly
syllabic monsters in the lexicon. And who
can measure the destiny that hangs upon sim
ple yes or no?
Lord tells the story of a London
clubman who was staggering along the
streets of Dublin and jolted into a passer
by. A constable stepped up to him and de
manded: “Do you know who that was?
That was Viscount Massereene and Fer
rand.”
“Gad!” said the Englishman. “Well, they
w®r® both drunk!”
THE ATLANTA TRI-WEEKLY JOURNAL
The Future of the Philippines
WHILE little was heard of the results
of the Philippine mission during its
sojourn in the States, now that it
is back in the islands interesting news of its
attainments and hopes begins to transpire.
Cabled reports of a recent speech by Manuel
Quezon, a leading spirit for Philippine in
dependence, before the Rotary Club of Ma
nila are particularly notable. He quoted
President Harding, with whom he talked at
length while in Washington, as saying that
America would take no backward step in the
archipelago, but rather would go forward
in the development of responsible native gov
ernment. “I believe,” said Mr. Quezon,
“that Americans and Filipinos can formulate
a policy which will give the United States
commercial and naval stations here and fully
protect her Far Eastern Interests acquired
subsequent to Dewey’s victory and which at
the same time will vouchsafe the Filipinos
national independence, leaving their inter
national independence to future discussions.”
Emphasizing the mutual benefit of continued
good will betwen the two peoples, he pooh
poohed the suggestion of seeking other mar
kets for the islands’ goods “when the United
States Is the only country in the world of
fering us real money for our products and
when Bolshevism is spreading in Europe
beyond the bounds of Russia.”
Os the Philippines’ total exports in the last
reported year, valued at one hundred and fif
ty-one million dollars, upwards of one hun
dred and five million was represented by
sales to the united States; and of total Im
ports amounting to one hundred and forty
nine million, more than ninety-two million
was from the United States. Evidently, then,
for commercial reasons alone it is important
that relations continue harmonious and that
the government of the islands be stable and
efficient in practice, as well as free in prin
ciple. Arguing to that same end, are further
and higher considerations than those of com
merce. America’s moral obligation, her
strategic interest, her sympathies and Ideals
ah urge the protection of the Philippines’
welfare and the rightful cultivation of their
natural and human resources.
That this implies the necessity of efficient
government and of government in keeping
with American tradition should go without
saying. To what extent are these standards
being realized or approached? By act of
Congress in 1916 the Philippine Commission,
which had existed for the greater part of the
time since 1902, was abolished; and in its
stead was established a legislative body con
sisting of a Senate of twenty-four members
and a House of Representatives of ninety
one members, the latter taking the place of
the assembly. At the head of the islands rc
mained the Governor-General, appointed by
the President of the United States. The chief
executives of the provinces, of which there
are forty-seven, were made elective officials,
and the government of the towns put upon
a virtually autonomous basis. Os the twenty
four Senators only two (those from the most
backward districts) were made appointive by
the Governor-General. The others were elec
tive by popular vote; as were also the ninety
one Representatives, save the nine from
those same backward regions. Something of
the development which has gone forward un
der American administration appears in the
more than eight hundred miles of railways
and six thousand miles of public roads; in
the establishment of ninety-nine public
school districts, with many hundreds of thou
sand of pupils enrolled, and of divers institu
tions for agricultural and mechanical train
ing. 5 *
In their report to President Harding, sub
mitted November 29 last, Governor-General
Wood and former Governor-General Forbes,
in reviewing developments and conditions in
the Philippines under this system of adminis
tration, recommended that “the present gen
eral status continue until the people have
had time to absorb and thoroughly master
the powers already in their hands.” It was
urged, moreover, that “under no circum
stances should the American Government
permit to be established in the Philippine Is
lands a situation which would leave the
United States in a position of responsibility
without authority.” Among the noteworthy
conclusions were these: “We find the peo
ple happy, peaceful, and in the main pros
perous and keenly appreciative of the bene
fits of American rule. We find everywhere
among the Christian Filipinos the desire for
independence, generally under the protection
of the United States; the non-Chrlstians and
Americans are for continuance of American
control. We find that many Filipinos have
shown marked capacity for Government serv
ice and that the young generation is full of
promise; that the civil service laws in the
main have been honestly administered, but
that there is a marked deterioration due to
the injection of pol’tics; we find that the
people are not organized economically, nor
from the standpoint of national defense, to
maintain an independent government; we
find that questions in regard to the confirma
tion of appointments might at any time arise
which would make a deadlock between the
Governor-General and the Philippine Sen
ate.”
Republican administrations, it should be
remembered, have been less liberally dis
posed toward the idea of Philippine inde
pendence than have the Democrats. This is
a matter, however, in which mere party con
siderations have no proper place, and which
now should be approached with statesmanly
understanding, in the light of recent events
and with generous regard for the weal of the
Filipinos themselves. It is greatly to be
hoped that Mr. Quezon’s happy expectations
will be realized.
Our Friend Radio
A SEA captain in the Gulf of Mexico and
a camper in the far Canadian north
hear music from WSB.
Radio! With that one word there is ban
ished from the history of the impossible all
the work of the jinn conjured by Aladdin
with his wonderful lamp.
In the north country, during the coming
winter, when the trails of men will have be
come impassable and the rivers and harbors
lie gripped in the clutch of ice; when there
will be no travel and no visible means of com
munication, some hundreds of heavy-faced
miners and prospectors and workers will for
get the vast expanse of ice and snow that
bars them from civilization, and, sitting be
fore a tiny box, will listen with rapt atten
tion to the voices in the air.
Consider it. A package scarcely larger
than a small camera; a few bits of wire and
a pair of earphones and there is no longer
loneliness in the world!
The voices of the air are at your call; the
news of the world’s activities; the throbbing
music that is an inspiration and always the
voices of men and women, whether you be
within the Arctic circle or in the uttermost
reaches of the southern oceans’.
Aside from the commercial value of the
radiophone; aside from any value that it may
have in the cities of the world and in their
work, there is one thing that will stand out
through all history—the banishment of lone
liness.
“What is it to be used for, sir?” asked
the salesman.
“For covering the church pews.”
“Oh, I see!” mused the salesman. “You
want something with a nap on it.”
IS YOUR WORK EASY?.
By H. Addington Bruce
EFFICIENCY experts have long insisted that
a man should train himself to do his work
with economy of effort. “Beware of false
motions, beware of wasted energy,’’ is their cry.
“Accomplish while yet husbanding your pow
ers.’’
This is sound gospel, provided it is not in
terpreted to mean the gaining of such facility
that one works in an entirely effortless, me
chanical way.
For then work will no longer be the potent
factor in self-development and progress that
work always ought to be. Still worse, work
that becomes quite effortless, that becomes
ridiculously easy, may have the effect of kill
ing a man’s ambition to do more important
work making greater demands on him.
Everybody knows workers who are singularly
facile in a limited way.
They are so facile that they do the tasks as
signed to them far more rapidly and far more
easily than fellow-workers do similar tasks. But
their great object seems to be to do them
rapidly and easily. Functioning like machines
and interested only in getting their work done,
they give no thought to any higher end.
When they think about their work at all it
is to rejoice that it calls for so little exertion.
*I have a good thing,” is their inward comment.
“111 nurse it along.”
Can they “nurse it along?” Is it good policy
to do so? Is it not possible that when work
becomes too easy one is in danger of gradually
losing the ability to do even that work reallv
well? ' 3
I commend to such ultra-facile self-satisfied
workers a few remarks by one who has for
years been makking a special study of the
philosophy of business success:
“No work should be easy if done with all
one’s might and main. Every job should ‘take
it out of a man’ if he expends every ounce of
his energy in doing it the very best way within
his power.
“Work done with little effort is liable to
yield little result. Every job can be done ex
cellently or indifferently. Excellence necessi
tates effort—hard, sustained, concentrated ef
fort.
“So, if you are sleeping over your job, instead
of sweating over it overhaul yourself.”
This may sound like a flat contradiction of
the teachings of the efficiency experts. It Is
not. The man who made these remarks is him
self an efficiency expert.
And he, too, would have workers adopt work
ing methods which would husband their powers
and save them from false motions—so far as
the technique of their work is concerned. But
he would have them do this only with the view
of making more energy available for improving
the quality of their product through thoughtful,
inremitting study of ways and means of im
proving it.
That, in a few words, is the real significance
of the efficiency doctrine of economy of effort.
To give it other significance—and especially to
regard it as sanctioning mental indolence when
technical facility has been gained—is to imperil
all one s prospects in the competitive world of
work.
JAPANESE RULES FOR WOMEN
By Dr. Frank Crane
From 1758 to. 1848 lived Hokusai, who
seemed to be a member of the Japanese
Rule Makers’ Union, and drew up a list
of things that women should not do.
The precepts of Hokusai have been ren
dered into English by Gonnoske Komai,
the author of “Dre.-.ms From China and
Japan.”
.. 7 he J° llowin g rules are selected from the
Ist. These are the things to be carefully
avoided by women: y
Disrespect toward your husband, through
self-assertion contrary to the laws of heav
en.
Speaking too freely and indiscreetly to
others of important matters.
Ridicule even of trifles, also calumny
and backbiting. 3
Cherishing resentment against others on
account of your own ill fortune.
Associating with women who have their
hearts always full of jealousy and envy.
Making light of others through a too
high conceit of woman’s apish cleverness
Becoming familiar with priests on the
pretext of religious conversation.
Extravagance in money matters, and dis
content with their position.
Treating maids unfairly whether they act
well or ill.
Negligence of parents-in-law.
Negligence of stepchild.
Becoming too friendly with any male rel
ative in law, however closely related he may
be.
Despising persons of good conduct and
loving those who flatter.
Venting upon one the anger which has
been aroused by another.
Overindulgence in pleasures—music,
sightseeing and play-going.
Adorning themselves in beautiful attire
and trappings and leaving their maids
meagrely clad and neglected.
Making due allowance for difference in
time and latitude, and remembering that
after all human nature is about the same
whether in Tokio or Chicago, one may be
able to peruse the above rules and find in
them considerable suggestiveness.
When I read this articles to a certain wom
an of great importance she observed that
she didn’t think much of it.
PRESS TALK IN GEORGIA
By Jack L. Patterson
Tobacco and Yellow Pines
Figures from the tobacco markets are
proving two things conclusively. One of
them is that the lands which formerly grew
the yellow pine forests to perfection are
better than North Carolina lands for pro
ducing tobacco. The other is that tobacco
is going to be the great money crop of this
section, making the farmers much richer
than cotton could ever make them. It
takes more care than in cultivating, but
the returns are worth more.—Valdosta
Times. >
People who have not visited the tobacco
markets of South Georgia have no concep
tion of the magnitude that the industry
lias attained. The quality is superb and
the yield is profitable, making the culture
of tobacco advisable in prosecuting the
program of diversification.
We Want to Know
“Back in the old days when there were
no laws forbidding anything, how did people
manage to have a good time?” inquires the
Quitman Advertiser.
A very old story of Sheridan’s wit, says
a London exchange, has come down through
the nineteenth century. Fox and Grenville
were walking down Bond street one day
■when they met Sheridan. Fox hailed him.
“Hey, Sherry, we were just talking about
you, wondering whether you are most knave
or fool.”
“Well, do you know,” said Sheridan, tak
ing an arm of each, “I’m a little betwixt
the two.”
DOROTHY DIX TALKS—The Second Best Bet
A famous judge said the other day that
he thought that a man should be entitled to
a divorce from a wife who did not read the
daily papers.
A Daniel, a second Daniel come to judg
ment. Only it should work both ways and
be applicable to men as well as to women.
For what are Infidelity and drunkenness, and
cruel and Inhuman treatment, and the other
trivial causes for which divorces are granted,
compared to the daily torture of the com
panionship of one who does not even read
the daily newspapers?
Think of having to spend endless evenings
with a person who does not know whether
Cox or Harding was elected president! Who
wonders why such a fuss is made about the
league of nations! Who thinks Babe Ruth is
a tot in an orphan asylum who has somehow
gotten her name o people’r lips and who
doesn’t know whether a soviet is a brand of
canned goods, or a new cure for the influ
enza!
Think of not being able to look up from
your paper at breakfast and casually remark,
“I see they’ve got a new clue in that kidnap
ing case,” or, “The detectives think that the
woman killed Elwell, after all,” or, “Say
what do you think of this? The Bullionaires
are going to get a divorce. Some peroxide
vamp got him like they do all of the million
aires ! ’.’
i Why half the fun of reading a newspaper
is to read it in snatches aloud to someone
who is just as interested in the bits of news
as you are, and just as up-to-date on every
point from politics to scandal, and who
doesn’t need more than a half word to be put
wise to the whole situation. j
That’s the very essence of companionship.
We can have no chumminess with those with
whom we have to enter into’ long and ex
hausting explanations of everything in which
we are interested. Moreover it is a waste of
words to try to explain things to people who
do not read the daily papers. They’re too
dull and stupid to understand anything ex
cept their own narrow personal interests.
The judge’s opinion was that any man was
entitled to a divorce, no matter what the
woman’s other virtues may be, from a wife
who doesn’t read the newspapers. Listen to
this sisters, for these be words of wisdom
that are like unto apple of goiu in pictures
of silver.
You know that the one deadly fear that
clutches at the heart of every middle-aged
woman is that her husband will grow tired
of her, i -d that she will no longer have the
charm for him that she had when she was
young and pretty. You know that the one
cry of the woma who is getting fair, fat and
forty is that her husband has ceased to love
her. You know that if all the money that
women, who are no longer young, spend on
masseurs and obesity cures, and beauty spe
cialists in order to retain their hueband’s
Youth and the Game of Golf—By Frederic J. Haskin
WASHINGTON, D. C.» Aug. 28.—Golf
may have been an old man’s game at
one time, but recent developments
in this greatest of outdoor sports indicate
that the youngsters are rapidly taking pos
session of it. Youth will be served, as
Grantland Rice insists when he chronicles
the Waterloo of a veteran in any sport
from baseball to boxing.
Since Gene Sarazen captured the title of
open champion of the United States in
the tournament at Stokie and followed this
up by carrying off the crown of the Pro
fessional Golfers’ association at Pittsburg,
it remains only for Bobby Jones, or some
one of his years, to win the amateur cham
pionship at Brookline, September 2-9, to
demonstrate the complete supremacy of
youth in golf. Sarazen has barely passed
his majority, while the Atlanta prodigy is
a year his junior. Johnny Farrell is an
other professional and Jesse Sweetser an
other amateur who rank close to Sarazen
and Jones, and there are hundreds of boys
daily on the golf courses of the country
developing form and experience that will
make them contenders for the champion
ships of next year and the year after.
Sarazen’s triumph at Chicago was at the
expense of all the veterans of golf, profes
sional and amateur, who could be brought
together from England, Canada and the
United States. Black, the old-timer from
the Pacific coast, who is a grandfather
and old enough to be Gene’s father, had
the prize almost within his grasp, but he
slipped in the final heart-breaking test. It
may have been merely the break of the
luck, but the fact remains that it was a
contest of age against youth and youth
won. At Pittsburg in the last round
Sarazen was pitted against the veteran
Emmett French, who had defeated him in
a score of matches in days gone by. It
was a gruelling struggle, and again youth
was going strong at the finish with age
slipping.
The amateur championship at Brookline
will bring together probably the greatest
aggregation of golf notables ever contest
ing for a prize that means nothing but
glory, and the experts who follow the sport
closely are predicting that again youth, 1 in
the person of Bobby Jones, will carry off
the honors. Jones led the amateurs in the
open at Stokie and is at the top of his
game. English professionals such as Mitch
ell and Duncan class him as one of the
greatest golf players in the world. His only
weakness heretofore has been one of tem
perament—or temper—and it is said that
he has succeeded in overcoming that until
he is now capable of playing through a
tournament at the top of his game, and if
he does that it will take a miracle man to
stop him.
Why Youth Challenges
There are two reasons, at least,, why the
youngsters are challenging the tradition
that golf is an old man’s game. The first
of these is that the boys have learned that
the game has more fascinations than any
other ever invented and that proficiency
in it calls for all the qualities of mind,
heart, skill and strength that can be put
into any sport. It requires study, pa
tience, persistence, self-control and perfect
co-ordination of brain and body. And any
one who thinks that gclf is not a test of
nerves and physical endurance has never
played through the finals of a tournament.
For many years, in this country especial
ly, boys and young men looked upon golf
as a game to be taken up when they were
too old for any other sport, and would be
content to dodder around the open fields
in pursuit of health and senile pleasure.
They were inclined to be supercilious and
patronizing when told that there was more
to the game than they thought. They
were cocksure. They didn’t think—they
knew! Unfortunately, too, it happened al
most invariably that when one of these
youngsters took a golf club in his hand
and essayed hitting a ball he had the
novice’s luck and slugged it a mile. A
performance of that kind usually set him
back about ten years in developing his
game, for the inevitable result would be
that he was confirmed in his judgment that
anybody could play golf and nobody would
until he had nothing else better to do.
One such youth yielded to persuasion and
condescended to try a round on a Washing
ton course a few years ago. True to tradi
tion, he got off exceptionally long drives
from the first three tees. He was not so
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1922.
affection, was put into a lump sum it would
pay off the war debt.
It is only too true that a m-n’s romantic
love for a woman lasts only a very short
time. Passion inevitably burns itself out,
and daily life tears illusions to tatters. It is
also true that time inevitably takes its toll
of a woman’s looks, and she who was a rav
ing beauty at 20 is no living picture 15 or
20 years later.
Women know this, but the mistake they
have made has been in thinking that the way
to keep a husband is by dangling before his
eyes the same bait with ..-.iuii he was caught.
This is an error from every point of view.
It is a blunder from the woman’s side because
she no longer carries the same line of charm
in stock that first ensnared her husband’s
fancy. No middle-aged woman has the slim
ness, the peaches and cream complexion, the
glint in her hair, the dewy freshness, and tho
high spirits of youth, and her efforts to cam
ouflage them are mere caricatures of the real
thing.
And it’s a mistake from the man’s point of
view because the man is middle-aged himself.
He has long since ceased to take any particu
lar interest in his wife’ looks, and doesn’t
care a rap whether she’s a perfect 38, or a
comfortable 46. Nor does he take any interest
in the ingenue tricks that he fell for in his
salad days. He no longer thinks it cute for
her to roll her eyes and be helpless and baby
ish. He thinks she is acting like a fool when
she does.
So, as a plain matter of fact, the middle
aged woman who wants to held her husband
has got to cut fresh bait, and nowhere will
she find a better, or such a never-ending sup
ply, as in the daily newspaper for no man
ever gets tired of the woman who interests
him, who knows the things that he knows
and can talk and listen intelligently.
Women have been slow to realize that the
greatest foe to domesticity, the real enemy to
the home is boredom. Men leave home and
seek companiv ship elsewhere because their
wives h' ze nothing on earth to talk about ex
cept the high co of butcher’s meat, and the
babies’ teething and their complaints because
they have to work so hard and can’t have
everything some other woman has. Children
leave home because home is the dullest spot
on earth. ,
But where you find a bright and entertain
ing woman, a woman who keeps up wit,h the
times, a woman who can keep her family
amused and interested, you invariably find
a home staying household.
So read the papers, ladies, because it’s
about the only thing your husbands read
and if you keep him yc" must keep his step.
The newspaper is your best ally and the most
reliable safeguard against being a deserted
wife, even if no la z a ever passed making
non-reading of the papers a cause for divorce.
Copyright, 1922)
good in approaching the greens and getting
down his putts, but he was extremely well
pleased with himself as he stood on the
fourth tee and prepared to get off another
slashing drive.
“Well,” he said in all seriousness, ‘‘l
have mastered the long game, but I see
that I’ll have to give a little attention
now to the iron clubs!”
Needless to say, he did not thereupon
whale out another long drive. Whom
the gods of golf love they chasten, and
that young man was duly chastened before
he learned the difference between luck
and skill in a well-hit golf shot. Today
the golf courses of the world are covered
with men who mourn the years they lost
—the years of youth’s suppleness and re
siliency, when the eyes were keen, and
when there were no such things as jump
nerves, atrophied muscles and stiffened
joints.
Future for Professionals
Second of the reasons why the younger
generation is taking to golf is that it now
holds out substantial rewards to those who
make a profession of it. Walter Hagen
will probably make $40,000 this year as
a result of his having won the British
open championship. He and Joe Kirk
wood, the Australian champion, have
teamed up to play exhibition games and
have practically all their time booked
for months ahead. They get a minimum
of S4OO a day for these games, and while
there is nothing about that to make Jack
Dempsey give up prize fighting, it runs
into a tidy sum in the course of a year.
Kirkwood is a past master of trick shots
®? d . J 1 ® and Hagen make a combination
that is hard to beat as a drawing card.
Gene Sarazen will cash in on his suc
cess in like degree.. He is in great demand
for exhibition games already, and in Oc
tober he and Hagen are matched in a
contest far what is termed the world’s
championship that will yield a big cash
prize to the winner and be well worth
while even for the loser. As an illus
tration of how success in golf may be
capitalized, it may be noted that a western
promoter offered Bobby Jones $25,000 to
Play a series of exhibition games with
Sarazen. Os course Bobby declined the
?“® r ’ P he u ls an amate ur and has no
thought of abandoning this amateur status,
but at least he has the satisfaction of
knowing what he can do in case the mort
gage is about to be foreclosed on the old
?°i“! Stead ’ ° r Some si mHar emergency
arises.
However, the professional does not have
to be one of the top-notchers in order to
make money. Those who stand even fairly
well as players and as teacliers are in de
mand and have no trouble la securing
positions that will net them from $7,500 to
QUIPS AND QUIDDITIES
The Rev. J. A. Sharp, presid' of the
Wesleyan conference of England, started his
ca.-er 40 years ago in a country parish
on a approximating S4OO a year, and
he has had a ctr ggle for success which, how
ever, has not impaired his sense of humor.
Here is a story he tells:
He was once preaching for the first time
in a strange chapel. He noticed that every
member of his congregation had their eyes
fixed upon him, appi rently following him
with the greatest attention. Feeling some
what flattered, he mentioned this to his dea
con afterward.
“As a matter of fact,” was the reply, “we
were looking for you to disappear.”
“Disappeared,” said Mr. Sharp, in surprise.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the pulpit is absolutely rotten, and
hasn’t been used for 12 years.”
Have you heard the latest Coue story? A
man with bandy legs called to see the great
practitioner of healing by suggestion.
After an examination, the doctor said.
‘Yes, th-/ can be cured. Massage them every
night, and before you go to sleep say, 'My
legs are getting less and less bandy’ a hun
dred and fifty times.”
Full of hope, the men went home. That
night he carried out the massage treatment,
but he could not remember just how many
times he had to repeat the magic words. He
knew it was something and 50, so, to make
sure, he recited the phrase 350 times. Next
morning he found that he was knock-kneed!
ANDREW AND IMOGENE • !
BY ROE FULKERSON. ' .
1
'■’Andrew,” Imogene suddenly spoke out* j
“Don’t interrupt me when I start to talk.”
Andrew looked up from his paper which h®
had been reading in silence. His forehead was
full of puzzle wrinkles but before he could
speak she went on.
“What 1 meant is do not interrupt me now.
I have told you a lie or at least it was just the
same as telling you a lie, for I have kept some
thing from you which I should have told you
and now that I think it over I am afraid it will
come back on me and make more trouble than
ever.”
Andrew smiled unbelievingly.
“When Minnie and I made that trip to
Hughesville in the little car yesterday, I told
you that we had a glorious day and were under
shelter all during the storm and everything
went fine.
“That was not so. We had a lot of trouble
and we promised each other we would not tell
for fear you would not let us go touring off
into the country again.
“It was like this, Andrew; the road after you
turn off the main pike is bad, but it is no
trouble to get over going down, but while we
were there that awful storm came and before
I started back I got the boy at the hotel to
put the chains on the car for fear we would
get stuck or the car would skid or we would
have some other trouble in the mud.
“We came along for about a mile and then
we came to a little place on a hill where the
water had washed the road very badly and
made a gully a foot deep right across it.
•'T went up the hill until I came to it and the
front wheels passed over it all right, but when
the hind wheels came to it they just spun
round ond make a mountain ofsand behind each
wheel but they would not go over it.
“I tried every way I knew and Minnie got
out and pushed and spoiled her shoes, but it
did no good. We simply could do nothing and
then we sat down beside the road and cried.
“Suddenly I saw a house not far away and I '
went there and told my troubles to a man with
red whiskers and rubber boots and he said he
would bring his team over and pull us out for
five dollars.
“I was tickled then, but when he came he had
two cows with a big log on their necks, like you
see in pictures of Bible times. I knew they
would not pull it out, but he fastened a chain
to the front axle of the car and said something
to them in a language I never heard before and
they walked right up the hill with the car. i
“Then the trouble started, for Minnie said I ,
had better trade my engine for one of the cows.
She was just joking you know, but the man '
took it seriously, for 1 said, also in a Joke,
that they were too big but I thought one of the
little calves would be just too cute for any
thing, and the man in the rubber boots asked
me who I was and where I lived and promised
me positively that if either one of them had 8
calf he would send it to me for a pet.
“It has worried me sick, for you know I had
that lie about not having had any bad luck to
think about and I thought if that man ever sent
that calf here, you would want to know wher®
it came and then the story would all come out,
and oh, Andrew, I have been so miserable.” She
was almost in tears.
“Honey,’’ giggled Andrew, “that was simply
automobile luck to get hung up that way, and
if that countryman ever sends you one of those
cow’s calf, I will send it to some friends In th®
country to be cared for.” Then he rose and left
the room hastily.
(Copyright, 1922, by 21st Century Press, Inc.)
BORING LOVE TO DEATH
BY HELEN ROWLAND
MOST of the unhappy marriages in the
world, as I have said, are not broken
up; they simply sag, stretch, wear or
gradually tear apart.
Very few men, or women either, have any
great big “besetting sin”; marriage would b®
a far simpler problem if they had.
It is easy to decide what to do with th®
husband or wife who is guilty of murder, ar
son, wife-beating, husband-poisoning, antl-
Volsteadism or unfaithfulness.
But, WHAT can you do with the HALF
SINNER—
The woman whp constitutes herself an
eternal questionnaire, digs out her husband’s
most sacred thoughts, probes his tenderest
feelings and never permits him to have a
private and personal opinion on anything.
The man who acts as thoug*. home were a
deaf and dumb asylum, and never speaks ex
cept to say “Pass the butter.”
The lady sleuth, who steams open her hus
band’s letters and locks upon a pink pepper
mint cough-drop in his pockets as an evidence
of crime.
The gentleman detective, who goes through
the ice-box to see just how much butter the
cook has been using and what became of last
night’s leftover potatoes.
The wife who elects herself her husband’s
“conscience,” picks out his religion for his
censors, his friends and his habits, and
denies him his pipe and his comforts.
The husband who appoints himself hie
wife’s sartorial judge and social mentor, se
lects her clothes, directs her conversation, ex
purgates her calling list and chaperons her
manners. ,
The human fire-alarm, who keeps his wife
on the jump from the moment the first alarm
clock goes off until the last phonograph has
gone to sleep.
The feminine mollusk who lies around liko
a sacred crocidile waiting to be fed, clothed,
amused and decorated.
The “quick-trigger” husband, who goes
off like a gun, withou provocation.
The storm-center wife, who deluges her
husband with tears and tantrums and re
proaches, just for excitement.
The movie-fiend, who keeps her T. B. M.
sitting through the petrpetual emotion
dramas, night after night.
The golf-fiend, who makes his wife a widow
before her time.
The domestic wit, who turns everything his
wife says or does into a ‘joke”; the ‘prompt
er,” who always interrupts her husband’s
stories with “But' it doesn’t go that way,
dear.”
The sleepy-head who yawns through all her
evenings; the prowler who patters round th®
house all night; the wife who sniffles; the
husband who snores; the “I-told-you-so" wife,
the bathroom hog husband, the talking ma
chine, the reformer—and the critic—on the
hearth!
Whew! These are the HALF-SINNERS
that turn marriage from a life-partnership
into a life-sentence. Most marital love isn’t
killed outright—it is just slowly BORED to
death!
(Copyright, 1922)
The absent-minded inventor perfected a
parachute device. He was taken up in a
balloon to make a test of the apparatus.
Arrived at a height of a thousand feet, he
climbed over the edge of the basket, and
dropped out. He had fallen two hundred
yards when he remarked to himself, in a
tone of deep regret:
“Dear me! I’ve forgotten my umbrella.”
The church committee were out on a
shopping expedition to Improve certain
features which bad fallen into sad decay.
They entered a store and asked to se®
cloth. They were shown some, but didn’t
quite approve.
“No,” said their spokesman. “I don’t
think that it quite what we want/’ j