Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

mwr WA UMTHINK what is the result? THEY GET NOTHINK ADVERTISE IN THE BINQVILIE BUGLE Afid See Whet .Von Q«t ferrrtakt, ion, kr l<*A OMkpt HAW VUCW HAR HA» V H34 -BI&CBStf tPsice travel?; VT£V WAS. haw haw fjHOT> BY-A ^ Vmff -TUtL, J T k ls CtKTi OK HotfWlCtO. . vovi urrti -ftXJUT , 1‘l.u G-rvii j v>u rat* CEjwr<s You OUT* DOCTOR / CA'r. &£.' ^ I A. GOOJO HiitdJ \T° SCRATCH / )Y»U* T-iTES I ' oyr — WHJSN «3Att ■WES.lSV 3*0 TAKTEi 1rU6' •TAHSiS oTf 1 MB Tooko 3Hr«s v/iTfi ha»' .gowao ‘Thk -RAi-ers tasy Vo mis um.di&-r dh^wkrj TRAASOK UHD^BVoob tSUS'B'^J'RTfcD T’RO'tt. t^OlHACKl} AH.-0 ylfLAU-Y ’WCftY T*o TiOC UvWHo'R'ft HAME ’VirL.&oH HIS HAIR CUT. HoomSu OA.YA THAT HAk JS 1H W»VS VrtYtt A •wmutin WOHAJH MRS iMTimjffia Vo tJFSHD A 1 2 v '*' !rt i mw miuss .»tjs ntfr am a ^ l * ,& g°^. a MISS 'e«JL.T'3>EWBCRWY YnniD it> atwrAtiRis «BS OtfHfiR Motmltlfi , THE BINGVILLE BUGLE The Lending Paper of the County Bright, Breezy, Bellicose, Buttling 'HUftT UP THTl tSYoRY OP.330C ATTD '•mtl H.OA4. GRCaT RIIAIMIIO.tHjUI- OT* HBMAW fnvtfpjis* M*S KARTKA. Tuen.cn cnt-ueo AT me o**VlC«i AM2, »R«tnt«B BAmitUCMS WHICH IH£ Hot. vL*«mt*c «>h TH’tt •ruwrt'c ricv*. ar ntCKKAw’z WILL cYeSAi» himeI nnfis eight mite be 7a. MOWADAYa.’WJT ^THTtiH HTi VrtiWT TO ^CHOOt, rnml Turns tUoht -was G7 i abltilng ) kMD Ml _ i «Ttry opanlof C*ar. T1i« ebeipaat ■dvartiatBi median fa tba Q^uotr. If fM bcltora la adrartlalaf coma •M mi as. Tor farther laformatloa call at or address tba editor. Old Dad Henderson perdlcks that w« will have a early spring this spring, but tvhat does old Dad Henderson know about whether we will have a early spring or not? He don’t know nothin and Dad has demonstrated that he don’t know nothing time and time again when he gets to perdickting what’s going to happen in the future. Dad prides hisself on bein powerful weather profit and he has missed his perdickshuns so much in the past that Bingvilie folks has got In the habit of expecting jest the contrary of what Dad says will occur. For instance, when Dad says we’re agoin to have a long wet spell folks hereabouts gener ally prepares for a drouth smd be gins to economize in their use of water, and if Dad says we’re agoin to have a fair day, you will sec Bingvilie folks carrying umbrellas. Early last fall Dad said we was agoin to have a open winter becuz the goose bone was thin in the flange, the baric wasn’t tight on the trees, the squirrels wasn’t stor ing away as many nuts as usual and cows’ tails didn’t have as much hair on them as customary. Well, what is the result? The result is that whereas Dad said we would have a open winter we have had a dose winter — it has been colder than zero in Bingvilie for weeks and everything is froze up tighter than a bung. Mel Sampson on the strength of what Dad said only cut half as much fire wood as lie otherwise would of cut, and now Mel’s burned up all his wood to keep from freez ing to death and has to borrow wood from his neighbors. Mel says if Dad wasn’t so old and indigent, he would give him a dog-blamed jood walloping for misleading him ike that and that only Dad’s gray hairs save him, as you might say. When Dad heard thi ‘ dickt where our next dollar on back subscrlpshions is coming from. Locals It looks like rain or mow as we go to press, we can’t make up our mind which. Ham Wilson got his hair cut at Harve Hines, our tonsorial barber last week. Why Ham would so and do such a thing as that right in the winter time is more than we can answer. He's liable to ketch his deth of cold. Roomer says that Ham ls‘in love with a widow woman down Hardscrabble way and is sprucing up some. Mrs. Seth Dewberry, wife of our lion hearted town constable, has re* turned from a visit with Mrs. Hame Miller of Mfllersville. Mrs. Dewberr intended to remain to spend a weel with Mrs. Miller, but they had a falling out before Mrs. Dewberry got her wrapt off, and as a result she got into her pung and turned around and driv right back home mad as a wet hen. We haven't noticed that Brent Wii Hams lias paid us that $2 on subserip* tion which he promised last week he Would pay this week. For a all-around lpliilied liar Brent can knock the spots offen anybody we know of in this accompli spots off neighborhood. Mist Emily Dewberry tried to start the fire the other morning with kero sene by putting abput a qt. on the fire and it blowed up and caused great ex citement for a spell. The fire depart' ment was summoned, but did not re spond prompt and so the fire was, put out by hand. Wes Woodruff says he ain’t doing as well trapping skunks this winter at usual Thau funny, Wes smells as if he was making a success ketching tkunks. ' Abe Witherow give Doe Livermore, our talented horse specialist and alto human doctor, a horse last week in laymern for medical services rendered n the past. The horse fell dead at Doe was leading it home. Doc didn’t hold no poat-mortim, but he calkilates it must of had heart failure. Miss Phronicia HHderbrand did not sing in the choir at church last Sun day. Ths reason was that Phronicia had quiney and couldn’t ting. Miss Lulu Andrews took Phronieia’s place in tha if she qubte^alao. Lulu sung at had tha Smalley chewed up two plugs of tobacco last week. Gid says he guesses ths tobacco chawin habit is getting tha belt of him, because he somehow don’t feel familiar unless he hat a chaw in his mouth. Jason Tucker, chief of our fire de partment, desires ns to say that it is no use for citizens to summon tha lira department at present owing to the fact that the town pump i» froze up tighter than a bung and no water to aquench the flames with is to be had anywhere. Please observe this. Personals few back copies of tl* will sell for 5 Wa have Bugle of 1778. which we cts.. the regular price of which ia S ets. each ner copv- This is s big bargain considering that the news in these Bu gles arc meller with age, as you might foils Mllly Underwood is vfsitfng a friend, whose name we did not learn, at Sorrow Hollow as we go to preis. There it not so much tickness in our midst as there was and as a result Dave White, our popular and accommodating ertaker, Is a good cal down hearted despondent Cheer up. Dave, bet ter times will come for you. we hope. Lafe Henderson of Zion Crossroads that Met had said this, he got madder than a wet hen and pranced around the stove in Hen Weathersby'* store, and struck it with bis cane until he broke his cane. Dad said he wasnt SO spry as he used to be, „ a jd this office a call last week and left would think she was shiftiest if she but he was still man enough to lick on ou r desk tsro Baldwin apples that eoaldn’t keep her husband’s pants " ct tied j seemed as solid and fresh as if they patched # /or # hint. Sam said he'd be just come offen the tree. Who can beat " this for Baldwin apples this time of the whiffletre* to break and a bolt flew and hit Jim right between the eyes, which was a tumble surprise to him. Bill Mepbnro. our artfstlek black smith, went to the Co. Seat last Satter- day to get full as usual, but come home sober. When Bill left Bingvilie lie had a silver dollar in liis pocket to buy a| qt. of rye with, but lost it outen a hole) and calkilates lie never will find it Deacon Underwood says It waa a jedg- tnent sent on Bill for drinkin. Our Sunday School is planning to give several plrknieks next summer. There js nothing like taking time by tho forelock in such matters. Mrs. Martha Tucker called at oun of fice last week and presented us with a bunch of seven dandelions which she found blooming on the sunny side oi Beckman’s Hill west of Bingvilie. Hovr is this for a sign of spring? We iiad the misfortune to spill Sev eral news items after we had went and got them act up in type for thla week’s Bugle, consequently they do not ap pear in print, being as we hadn’t time to set them over again. It is turrible discouraging to go and spill news items and news items so seairse. If you want to keep up with the times read the Bingvilie Bugle. Mr. and Mrs. Rill Simms are enter- ining a welcome guest in their home at present. It’s a girl and weighs 12 lbs. We regard this as a buster of a girl. Bill is handing bis plug around among tht boys and receiving congrat ulations. We was in error in stating that Hi Cranby was on the sick Iht last week— it was the week beiore. We would never of knowed the difference if Hi hadn't called our attention to it and asked us to make the correction ip the Bugle, which we cheerfully do. Ahe Witherow went to the Co. seat tolher day and brought home « load of house furniture for Hen Weathers- by. Abe also brought home a load of iicker and lost one rocking chair on the way, which hasn’t been found since. Hen wants Abe to pay for ll Country Correspondence ELDERBERRY GAP Hans Derfinger butchered a pig last week which dressed 430 lbs. Who can beat this for pig? Adam Cutler Sundiyed with hit brother, Jule Cutler, Over Horse Neck way. touit Alimanc caught hit hand In a cornsheller last week, lacerating it bad ly—the hand. Beth Dobbins Is putting up ice for Squire Brown. Seth stye he cut more got a needle and thread and tome goods and went to work at it. She set down and Sam stood up till he got so tired he was weak in rite knees. Finally, how ever, Amelia got the pants patched and she held a looking glass and told Sam to took and see if he didn't think it was a pretty good job to be did with the pants on him. Sam said he thought it was. Well, no more waa thort about the subjeckt until that night when Sam Went td take off his pants to go to bed lie found that his wife had sowed the pants and all fast to his under drawers. When lie told Amelia this she hollered and laffed and this made Sam mad as a wet hen, and the way he swore sva* something awful. Sam says it’s a won der that Amelia didn't sow them pants fast to hisself. He made her patch ’em right before he would go to bed. Toothache for Reason Reason Underwood suffered from toothache turrible last Thursday. It got so bad that he finally went to Doc Livermore and asked Doc how much he would charge to pull the tooth for him. Doc said it ought to be worth a quarter. Reason asked Doe if he would pull it for IS cts. Doc finally raid that bein' as it was Reason he would. Then Reason hemmed and hawed and wanted to know if Doc would do it for 10 ctK Doc got mad and told him he wouldn't, so Reason went hone with his tooth aching worse'n ever. If« got »o desper ate that he got a big stone which he uses to prop open the door and tied one end of a string to the tooth and tother end to the stone, ana hinted the winder and shut his eyes and throwed the stone outen the winder, but the stone went through the upper sash, breaking three pains of glass and just mining hitting Sim Gookins on the head, who was passing ths house at the time. The ig broke snd rhe aching tooth is in Reaaon’s mouth, but it ia better at thi* writing. School Visited Tha members of our school beard consisting of Cy Hoskins, Deacon But- terworth and Lem Brown, visited our school last Friday afternoon to note what progresa the scholars is making, if any. Jed Peters, our intelligent school teacher, give them all seats and then pereeeded to call up the classes to show the board how much he has learnt the pupils. The achool board ex pressed tneirislves as much pleased ice last Saturday than he ever did in pressed themselves as much pleased one dav in his life. ,with the recitations. Deacon uutter- The Bugle Is a welcome weekly vis- worth *^*d little Tommy Barker how itor to this place. They are four regu lar subscribers in our midst and two others thinkinr seriously of taking it. Andrew White drove to Blackburn on busineSi Thursday. Snide Emmons has been going over to Pea Ri-tge every Saturday night regular. What’s the attraction over that way, Snide? 81C SEMPER TYRANN. Joke on Sam The ether day Sam Skinner’s wife. Amelia, noticed that Sam's pants wa* wore put It) the scat. Sh* spoke shout it to Sspt and wanted to fix them right away, but it didn’t worry Stm any, and so he said to let it go until be took the >ants off some time, being as be htd hem on at tht time. But if there is anything that worries Amelia it is to sc* a man’* pants wore out. She told Sam the waa ashamed to have him go out of the house, being the neighbors would think she was shiftless if Mel with both hands and feet behind him. Perdickting weather Is almost st g,, uncertain as for us as editor and!’ j m Hill, while sledding logs In the prop of the Bingvilie Bugle to per- woods last week for Sim* Peters, had but she'd do the best she could, so sh« selves. pa , . . _ . Mamed if he'd take them pants off, and if sh* could patch them on him to go ah-ad and do it Amelia said aha never tried to pitch a man’s pant; on him. many two and two was and Tommy antwered ’’Four!’’ almost as quick as scat. Cy Hoskins then asked little Mar tha Gookins how much nine times eight is and Martha saya 67 and Cy patted her on the head and told her that was correct and that she was a turrible smart litll* girl for her site, Jed then interrupted Cy and told him that nine timet tight wasn't 67, but 72, and Cy wanted to know what business it wa* of Ted’s to tell him, a man twice as old at he (Jed) was how many timet nine times right waa Cy said he didn’t per mit any whipper snapper of a school teacher to tell him now many nine [ ab-iu i, jit *r*«* times eight is. Cy said nine times rich*fit mmv •>« might be 72 nowadays, but when he went to ichoel nine times eight was 67 and he would (honk Jed Peters to tend strickly to hi* own business when the school board was visiting the school. The beard then took their departure. Have Your Pipes Busted on you? I dealra to *lra sotlea to tba jr*n«rml public* tbit la addUbton to fancy blaektmitblog I am al*o a plumber, and (f jou bar* watrr pi pea ia yoar beuM that rroaso and burat ©* yon, call on mo for help and I will repair aama without delay at rvaaooabla rataa. I don’t do much plumbing oxcapt la wtatar tlma, watrr pipoo bumf, but wbaa wa baro a cold Map X am allot • food aal la daaaaad, and all I can say Is I wish ws would have more cold snaps. riusiMaf ta a paying bnalntaa If ym e aa g«f enuN ef «.t t . Why Iff a hnute-rt prtpw apatfer water all over the kltckea whan X ran flx it for yon? If you baa* aay- tbtog Ilka tbta happen, aummon ma at me* and I will re*pond prompt. Don't a*k the price I will charge rnitff altar the Job la did, becui tbero won't b<* tlaao to dlptuu that wblla the water ptpo it leaking. I will rbarga yoo by tba hour or by tba Job, a wording at I too At. 1 am tha ONLY! plamktr In Illn*vlllr acd da—two yaot patr-wagr. Too will And ia« at ary blarkootitt ffr ri«v to ff.A w.wir fv-ept Sattardaya and ffupdafi. I tuoally go to tba Co. aaat m Satterday on business, and I ailus take Sunday as a day of rest after It Yoora for fancy blackamlthtnc and ptamMns* WagrtKe. BILL UEFBXTMX. I Have You Forgot That I (Phoebe HHderbrand) Am Still In tha Dressmaking Business? Sprite It »•* ipprePrSUZ •»* « t» tklak •*•»» S*tlM <•**<*• ■aharrltt. I. «*<• Drihuslur i of fuSlM l> PfCw t» Sftp M IS. 1»»«» «t7>» *1 dnwM. I iu<i Amelia Twkrr, <wr n -enlr at k.bhln aklvt rr.lj Hit , • hMt It. Wh-n irn. rug! iffice and trying to inculcate new ideas ids of those intrusted to his in the heads I care, and who it it hit sacred duty to teach the truth to. Jed atill slicks to it that nine tin i, ef’t it 72 and -"vs if anvhody don’t believe it just let them up nine eights and see for their- „„ A men* mm Uw —If pII-mPi-o .a. to it f> l»«t it* «•••! t«ke v*rj '«■» ft'p». It tooa hr tfc*»e-...PtpT» of n knar witk rum tor k*«t l» Ik. il-o-h. kkl-b imlp pkppt P tlyktk at A ml " )**/■ SI 11 — ; M to skirts tat Isdi-, -ulto so town* * tom colt* at wut*. Gall and see the latest styles nta gnarantffj- I bar* i»fT*r yat nada A far anybody didn’t ka«a * Your* I t faiblncab* sltrfawaklag. ruonor mild meant* kon at Mia fa—,