Newspaper Page Text
\
v*r'.
THE ATLANTA GEORGIAN AND NEWS: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1011
. It f* desirable that all communications
Intended for mibMcntlon In TheOaornjan
and News bn limited to W worg
In length. .It l» Imperative ttiat tbar »•
■lined, as an evidence of rood faith. R*r
looted manuscript! will not be returned
unless stamps are sent for the purpose.
either 4oee It print whlehr or iftuor *d*
THE SAME OLD WAY.
He thought ho couldn’t live of lovo bereft:
Ho thought If ho ohoutd foil to oeo one
face
That ha muit dial and than, ona day, love
left
Him all alonai and ampty with lova’a
plaoa.
And ah, how black the world wool how It
Much darker, much more drear than ha
had dreamed:
But atlll went on the life of every day:
And atlll ha lived In Juat the tame old
way.
'He thought ha couldn’t live If ona friend
failed:
If ona, the well-beloved, ahould falco be
THE ATLANTA GEORGIAN
(AND NEWS)
F. U SEELY. Publleher.
I E. Alabama SL. Atlanta. Oa.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
Ona Year
Six Montha f
One Month
By Carrier, Par Weak
Telephonea Connecting All Department*.
Long DIetance Term.nale,
Entered aa aeeond-claaa matter at the
Pont office at Atlanta, Oa.. under the act
of March t. lilt.
If yon have any trouble setting Tl>«
Oeonttan and Newe. telephone the cir
culation department and have It promptly
remedlod. Both phonee MSS.
■uheerfbere deelrlna The Georgian
aM Yews dfeeonflnced mtiet notify tnl*
cIBeo on the date of expiration, olherwie*
It win be continued at the remilar aub-
aorfptlun ratea until notice to atop la ra-
And than, one day, It came. Hla heart
bewailed
The loan. Deep-atabbed, and blind with
pain he moved,
Thru all the farce of living. And the
blow
Waa worae than In the fearing ha could
know,
But atlll want on the life of every day,
And atlll' he lived In Juat the aame old
way.
He thought he couldn’t live If death
ahould coma
And rob him of hla little precloue child.
But once the tiny chattaring mouth waa
dumb,
The little reay 11 pa no longer entiled.
And weak with woe, hla eyee with tears
grown dim.
And how he prayed that death would
come to him. .
But atlll went on the Ufa of ovary day.
And atlll ha lived In juat the aame old
way.
And atlll he alapt at night and woke at
dawn,
And atlll ha ate and drank and talked
and amlledi
And atlll the world went blithely on and
on.
Unknowing how hla heart waa beating
wild.
In tumult and rebellion: and at laat,
Tho chill cf hata and lonellneaa was peat,
And, once more Joyful, In the aame old
way,
He lived the aame old Ufa of every day.
—Miriam Telchner In Detroit Ncwa. -
Georgia’s School of
Good Roads Construction.
The announcement of the
opening of a course in good
roads construction at the Uni
versity of Georgia marks a note
worthy advance in the great
work of highway improvement
that is going on all over the
state.
Tho new course will be con
ducted by the department of civil
engineering. Professor C. 51.
Strahan is head of this depart
ment, and John C. Koch baa been
chosen adjunct professor and spe
cial expert in good roads con-,
■traction and bridge-building.
) The course has been designed
especially for the benefit of
county officials who have in
charge the work of building and
caring for roads. Classes will be
conducted for all such officials
as desire it. Road-building mate
rials will be tested and analyzed.
Professor Koch will give free in
formation on all road subjects,
and. whenever requested, will
visit any county where road work
is in progress to inspect it and
give the officials in charge the
benefit of his advice and expe
rience.
From the foregoing outline can
be seen the wide field of useful
ness that will be occupied by the
new course. In short. It will re
sult not only in great saving, hut
also in the construction of better
and more durable highways.
One of the easiest ways to
waste money is to have it. ex
pended on road work by inexpe
rienced and unskillful officials.
Here is where the phrase “drop
ping money in a hole” gains its
greatest pertinency.
The idea of road-huilding here
tofore has been confined chiefly
to that of cleaning out the ditch
at the side of the road and fill
ing up the one in the middle. It
wbr a work that ran in a vicious
circle. ‘Every year the ditch
filled washed out and the ditch
cleaned filled up again.
Georgia, in the labor of its con
victs, is spending too much on
its roads for such a condition to
continue longer anywhere. It is
experiencing a new era in road-
building, and consequently im
proved, new and more scientific
methods must be employed.
Thfse the new school teaches,
and one mny become a pupil for
the asking. County- officials
everywhere should not fail to
take advantage of it.
President Taft and an
Insurgent Flank Movement.
President Taft and the insur
gents of his party are enemies.
There can be no question of that,
tho the president insists that he
is neither a progressive nor t
stand-patter, but a middle-of-the-
roader.
With true blue insurgents, to
be in the middle of the road is
to block up the passage, and they
consider that even stand-patism
could do no worse.
Hence President Taft, notwith
standing his neutral inclination
and neutral feelings, is to them
the chieftain ' of tho reaction
aries.
His present Western trip was
admittedly an iuvnsion of insur
gent territory. He went to con
quer his enemies and line them
np for indorsing his leadership
in 1012.
But while he pushed his march
valiantly forward, smiling, speak
ing, feasting, sight-seeing and
undergoing all the other arduous
labors of being a guest of honor,
tho insurgent leaders, his real
fighting enemies, got by, flanked
him on the right and flanked him
on the left, nnd closed up in tho
rear with a big muster nt Chi
cago, at which LaFollcttc,
the arch-insurgent, was given
high praise and indorsed for the
Republican nomination nnd Taft
was ignored nnd by implication
utterly condemned.
The irony of fate seems to
have hovered pretty continuously
over President Taft’s career as n
politician. He Ret out to become
a popular president, but became
a popular nmn nnd nn unpopular
president. He set out to have
the tariff lowered, hut succeeded
in hnving it raised to still higher
marks nnd kept there. He set
out to have his cabinet a collec
tion of pippins, but he gnrnered
in quite a number of lemons. He
set out to bring Canndn nnd the
United States into more friendly
trade relations by a reciprocal
treaty, hut, succeeded almost in
haying diplomatic relations be
tweeu the two nations broken off
and war declared against this
country by Canndn.
And now, while he marched
boldly to the attack of the insur
gents in the West, they sidestep
ped him and, joining the. insur
gents in the East, delivered him
a stunning blow from behind.
From pnst events it seems cer
tain that if there wero such a
thing us n political snfety razor,
President Taft would cut himself
with it.
It will be just his luck to he
overwhelmingly nominated by the
Republicans nnd overwhelmingly
defeated by tho Democrats.
DAILY HEALTH CHAT *AT*AI
ATLANTA PHYSICIAN
TOBACCO AND LONGEVITY
It Ja probable that the chief change In
the body which leads to death from old
age la the hardening and weakening of
the arterlea called artertoacleroals. Thla
fact has led medical men to aay, "A
man la aa old aa hla arterlea;” and It
"Whether tobacco cauaea arterlo-
aderoala I muat be permitted to ques
tion. It la ao purely a relaxant that ita
Influence seems to counterbalance that
of the Irritants; If favor* elimination,
and If not ua;d excessively, has been
|a certainly true that years alone can i to **• apparently Innocuous even
not determine one's nge from a medical i ''hen continued to extreme old age.
point, of view. Inasmuch aa Improper J 1 ’?*® w* 10 ,cem a i~,
living and hereditary Influences may f*cted by even moderate quantities of
harden the arteries of cne man In half! tobacco are the rather rare exceptions
the time that would be required to among men. AH we can Justly claim
• - - against tobacco now is that It should
not be used by those to whom It Is evi
dently Injurious. But It ahould be the
physician and not the patient who de
cides this."
Most of the celebrated old persons on
re<x>rd were addicted to the use of to
bacco.
harden the blood vessels of n more
moderate and more fortunate Individ
ual.
Hummnrlxlng the principal causes of
arteriosclerosis, Waugh names chronic
constipation, alcoholism, overwork, and
so forth, but takes the following some
what unexpected view of tobacco;
THE VILLAGE MUCKRAKER
Prohibition Snapshots
. By REV. A. C. WARD
The Canadian navy allows no grog on
board ship, neither do the American i
fleets. Germany, England and Japan pro
hibit drinking among the officers to such i
an extent that ipoet of them are real 1
total abstainers. —
The ctar of Russia, the kaiser of Ger
many and the king of England are very
temperate men and old Frans-Josef owes
his life and strong personality to long
practice of very limited Indulgence.
In spite of the “receding" wave of tem
perance so eloquently spoken of by the
uquoiites, Iowa has 1 closed up 400 saloons
during the past twelve months.
North Carolina was never so prosper'
ous in all Its history as at the present
time, and yet we are told that-prohibi
tion la a failure/ It would not bo a fail
ure In any sente of the word if the ex
press companies of the country would
stop carrying liquor Into dry territory.
THE BUSINESS DOCTOR
£y ROE FULKERSON
There once lived a man known to the
world of horse lovers at “Pa Hamlin."
This man ran a general store at East
Aurora, and built up a large and flourish
ing trade, as country stores go.
And he was denounced by the merry vil
lager In exact ratio to his success and
the benefits he conferred upon the town.
It Is the buyer's right to defame thq
seller, and this privilege is pretty thor
oughly exercised the wide world over.
When the setters set to and rip a man's
reputation up the back, you may depend
upon It the person defamed la quite un
like the Impeccable ones who do the de
faming. The fact that a man haa things
that we want Is Justification enough for
help
resides is looked upon with suspicion.
Water works, sewerage, parks, paved
streets are never the spontaneous evolu
tion of the people of H town. They are
pushed upon the many; and a deal of
diplomacy, argument, handshaking and
kissing of babies Is required to bring
About the betterment. Only one-man
power counts.
Everybody may say that Maln-st. needs
paving, but let any one man take hold
actively to get It done and this man finds
the way Mocked, his hands tlod, his feet
manacled by the muckrakers whose chief
business It Is to muckrake, time and third.
That Is to say, he has to make terms
with the genus sotter, and when the thing
is finally completed It Is the common talk
of the town that this man has benefited
himself by the things provided for the
good of all.
It is now the thorough belief of every
business tnsn who has any knowledge on
the subject that Tweed In New York and
Hhepard In Washington benefited their
respective cities Immensely, and that to
bad as one that haa eyes. The
tiger can only see and find those who are
• hunting for It. while the other kind finds
everything that crosses his path.
I During the past four years the dr}'
I communities In Wisconsin have Increased
.from 660 to 800. It Is believed that sev
’era! other * “*
to tho list.
otl ter dry place, will soon bs added
Tht decrease in the
i IJquor In the German navy hi
. , xrrat numbers , tg, 19 ,nd s* per cent during the pset
of vacant Iota, removed ehantlee. scatter-1 four years respectively. Thle de
a xreat degree they were victims of vll-
lege^iate.
Bone Tweed bought up
utntlee, scatter-1 four years rearwetireiy. This decrease Is
ed the squatters end evolved Centra! j» eouree of greet gratification to the Ger-
Pirk—the great playground for the peo- i man emperor.
,,1 *V, .. . . ' ! The etnte of Yew York ti gradually *d-
At the time the city, hod not ncerly, vanclng toward prohibition. On January
caught up with the park, and the en-11. IMS, there were 314 no-llccnae, 2i3
terprlae and prophetic vision of Tweed I •??„*“,tSJi "'•""•.IS’"' 3 '
were tho very thing* that brought about % i'aAUI'llcenid wd 2M full
[ licensed town*. thus making a net gain
JXt bow know that the man did net 0 f 83 no-licensed towns In tnree years,
grofit nt^all ^by hto transaction, „and It j
tho men just named were
the people, and fell victims 10 ine genus
villager who opposes the very things
that ha suggests, yet shares gleefully
in the graft If It comes within grabbing
distance.
Pa ifnrglin was ono of the first man in
America to make glucose sugar. He
bought the secret from a man who was
unable to make uee of It. Terrible tales
were told about how he robbed this man.
When Pa Hamlin wan raising horses,
laying out beautiful farms. Increasing the
yield of crops and showing farmers how
to farm, he hired men who got even by
damning him at tho grocery every night.
These parties, who nibbled at the crackers
nnd sampled the rhecso and occasionally
twined sardines, are claselcs, and their
habit Is never to forgive or forget the
people they have Injured.
And the moral la this: When you hear
successful people hotly denounced, Just
take fifty, ten and five, and then with
hold Judgment until you know something
for sure about the man.
WINNOWED WITTICISMS
Chance at $60,000 lost by blrdinnn."
blrdmnn with a prise In his bund
Is worth two on the wing.
Taft Is urged to fire Wilson." Thnt'a
) Wilson, but nnother Wilson may
cotne along and Are Taft.
Wouldn’t let weather man defend
himself.'* Should this be called making
It hot for film or merely turning him
the cold ■Jioulder?
The revolutionists of the Celestial
empire who arc fighting for popular
government want China broken up and
the pieces molded nenrer their heart’s
desire.
The volume of Southern tourist trav
el, It Is sAid, will be larger this winter
than ever before. The charm of th«
Sunny South makes fresh conquests
every year*
The national convention of suffra
gettes will meet Friday at Louisville.'
Ky. A certain California event w ill no
doubt be accorded prominent mention
by the delegates.
“Solons are paid to remain away.”
Should this practice become very gen
eral It could not even then be said that
the law-makthg hue I ness of the country
would become much the worse for It.
Taft was much pleased with his re
ception In California. Californian*,
however, are very strong on the recall,
even applying It to Judges, and they
may extend It to the presidency.
It Is said the price of canned goods
Is to be very high this year. At lesuit
we have the satisfaction of knowing
that w ith Pure Food Wiley on the Job
once more, they will be safe and nour
ishing.
An American university Is offering
$750 In prises for the best epic poem of
the Civil war. Tho there Is less demand
for epic poems now than ever In
the history of the world, the prices seem
to be higher. Milton sold his for a mere
song, w Idle Homer got no more than a
few square meals out of hi*.
A Smile or Two.
married?
He—I cm
i *a No.
word.
At the Shore.
From Judge's Library.
May—l wonder how Cholly manages
to keep that wide-brimmed straw hat
No Rehearsals.
From Judge’s Library.
“How Is your new village band getting
on with Its rehearsals?'*
“Wo don't have rehearsals; we started
right in giving band concerts."
A Hcotchman brought his entire family
of seven to visit a relative In London
They were entertained In a manner that
left nothing to be asked for two weeks;
theaters, suppers, cab drivers about the
Couldn't Classify Her.
From October Llpplncott.
First village clubwoman—What sort of
a person Is this new Mrs. Hart?
Second village clubwoman—Well, the
Indies caq’t lust make out whether she's
Too Hearty Thanks.
* **-- inager o
and he
tensely dlallkod. One morning he an
nounced that he had received a hand
some offer from an English firm, and he
had decided to give up hla Glasgow Job.
Hla fellow employees collected a purse of
sovereigns and presented It to him as a
thank offering. *
“Waal, waei," said McClusky, as he
took the purse, “this beats a*. I never
thorht ye liked me sae weel. But noo
that I nee ye're a* sae sorry tae lose me,
I think I'll nae gang tea, but Jlst stop
whaur I am."
"The persistency with which children
see In a fable some other moral than tha
city, excursions Into the country. Tho • one which Is intended that they shall
whole time McPherson never put hla ‘
hand in hla pocket to pay for a thing.
When the family was going home,
the Londoner and hla enuain went into
the buffet for a final glass. From force
of habit he groped for his wallet; but
Handy grlnpcd his
Na. nar' said he. "You’ve been verra
gude to me an* mine this fortnlcht past.
Mom we'll bae a toss for thla lasbt wee
nipple!”
wolf nnd the lamb, and had followed It up
with the remark:
" ’And now you see. Tommy, that the
lamb would not have been eaten by the
wolf had he been good and sensible.'
" 'Yea. I understand.' said Tommy,
the lamb had been good and sensible, wa
should have had him to eat.' "
UNCLE WALT * PHILOSOPHER
The winter soon will make n trip this way, in maudlin frenzy,
nnd then we nil will have the grip, sore throats and influenza. The
blizzard will come blizzing forth, with rude nnd shocking manners,
nnd nil the storm kinpi of the North will shake their
LOOKING icy hnnners. And then, nlns, poor weary soul, you’ll
FORWARD suffer diro emotions, when buying clothes nnd buy
ing eon), arid buying drugs nnd potions. Methinks
I see you, in the street, on icy pavements totter, nnd long to bask
in »ummor’s heat, nnd ply your patent swatter! 1 hear you mut
ter: “Cun it he thnt I wns sadly sighing, when summer breezes baked
tho Ion, and hnppy men were frying! And did I, 'nonth the golden
skies, unvexed by stoves nnd heaters, heap maledictions on the flies
and damn the meek moskeetersf Oh, whistling whiskors!” say you
then, “King Winter is a hummer! My heart will ne’er know joy
again until it’s cooked next summer!”
WALT MASON.
Copyright, lilt, by George Matthew Ad sm*.
fund to be used to secure „
certain objectlonal laws. Now thetr
money Is gone and nothing was done to
ward changing the laws. Of course they
are asking "where has our money gone?"
Oklahoma land companies are selling
While the population of England has
Increased 21.3 per cent since 1890. the
total consumption, of beer has Increased
The great hulk of the opposition to the
spread of prohibition doel not come from
men who want less liquor sold, but from
those who want to sell more.
One of the Llckera.
From London Tlt-BIts.
Dr. Wines, principal of a boys' school.
Just before he went on his holiday, had
occasion to cane a pupil, and It Is to be
supposed he did the work thoroughly.
The lad took hts revenge In a way
that the doctor himself could not help
laughlrg at.
Dr. Wines' front door bore a plate on
which was the one word "Wines.'
The hoy wrote an addition to this In
big letters, so that when the doctor came
home the Inacrlptlon ran:
“Wines and other llckera."
"I’d have landed that deal If It—'” Right at that point tha Buslnet.
Doctor Interrupted with. “Never mind the reasons, son. All tlut count, la
tliat you didn't! Tb* business world has no time to listen to why you
didn't, but hours to spend with you
when you are explaining how you did'
“I had lunch with the proprietor of a
piano house the other day. While we
were at the table one of hla salesmen
whom he had sent to the country to
see a prospect came In and said; ’Well
I went down, and—’ ’Did you make the
baler
'“I was Just about to explain how i
missed 1L’
“ ‘Never mind ih«£ the only thing
I want to know Is, did you sell the
piano?’
"And that’s the business world; that's
the tendency of the times; that', the
whole question.
“There are certain defect, which
when mounted, glitter like virtue itaelf'
but excuae making is not one of them’
Get as far away from this tendency as
you can. as It has no standing In the
business world. It Is only men who
fall who need to make excuses and ex
planations, and with the man who u
paying the expense of the failure an
.excuse has no more standing than a plugged nickel with the red-headed girl
who sella tickets to the moving picture show. *•
“The man who makes the sale doesn't need to make any explanation, for
the signed order blank Is the loudest talking thing that ever came Into a
bualneis house.
“The reasons for failure are of no avail because employeri are growing
wiser every day. The business man of today Is as careful as the colored
parson who selected a one-armed man to pass the plate at the end of the
sermon.
“If he is Interested In why you failed, he will ask you, and If you win,
the order will speak for Itself. Teach yourself to cut out excuse making
explanations and self-apology for failure, and you will have eliminated some
of the chanoss of failure, failure Is very largely a mental attitude. The
man who opens a business deal without hop* of success la as sure to lose a.
the man who oj>ens one with full confidence of success Is sure to win."
“Now came the woman-errant, widow, wife, maid, afoot or proudly
mounted. Driven forth by necessity to victual the love castle, or often
times spurred on. like'errant knight, whose gage is self, by very lust of
moving. Yet aa she pushed onward thru the market place, or entered the
lists to prove prowess, as her worth gave right. If any chanced to Jostle
or blows rained hot, straightway she cried aloud; ’Give place, for I am
woman!' Then man. being man. yielded his right to the spell womanly,
potent thru all disguise, and even applauded her, oft to his own abase
ment."
So aalth the “Prophecy of Walde,” and as men and women were then,
so also are they now.
No man waa ever whipped unless he .got mad.
The bakeries of Kentucky have ben prohibited by law from placing labels
or stickers advertising their business on tha loaves of bread they make. The
pure food people of that state got aft?- the label and It waa ’’raua mlt It!"
.’Hon. Henry- Boutett hands this clout behind the ear to the business man
who talks for publication;
“Men of progressive aspirations may b# divided Into two Claeses—those
who have, and those who lack, constructive ability. Those who have con
structive ability are usually too busy working to talk, and those wko lack
constructive ability are usually too busy talking to work or even think."
Tot, tut, Henry!
You can not keep a cork In a bottle of enthusiasm.
Show a disposition to be an "eaay-mark" and every one will help you
to make good.
Growth and Progress
of the Mew South
Additional list of Industries formed
In the South for the week ending
October 12, as reported to The Man
ufacturers Record:
Crystal Ice Company, Argent a.
Ark., will erect oddltonal unit of TtO
solidifying cans. Increasing capacity
of Ice plant from SO to 110 tans
dally.
Busch-8u1ser Brothers-Dlesel En
gine Company, Ht. Louis, Mo., de
cided to erect Its plant In 8t. Louis
st a cost of about $1,000,000.
North Arkansas Lumber Com
pany. 8t. Louts. Mo., wss Incorpo
rated wlttr $100,00$ capital stock.
Consumers Ice Company, Laxlng-
ton. Ky., will erect addition to plant
at a eoat of $$$,000 and Increase ca
pacity to 200 tons of Ice dally.
Kaul Lumber Company, Birming
ham, A Is., contemplates construc
tion of large lumber plant at Tusca
loosa. Ala., together with 20 to 25
miles of railroad.
Teutonic Land and Development
Company. Beaumont. Texas, wilt
establish drainage district In >Cal-
casleu Parish, La., to reclaim 17,000
aon. a cun., was iiictii jHirgtcu wun n
capital stock of 8100.000 to manu
facture bolts nuts. etc.
Andrews Lumber Company. An
drews. N. C.. was Incorporated with
s capital stock of 8300.000.
Howard Motor Car Company, Ma
con. Ga.. will establish automobile
plant to have Initial capacity of $00
to 1.000 finished cars.
Gulf Pine Product Company.
Waycroes. Ga., was Incorporated
with a capital stock of $1$0.000 and
will establish several turpentine
plants. .
Morrlss Lumber Company, Bt.
Louis. Mo., was Incorporated with a
capital stock of $60,000
Moark Timber Land and Lumber
Company. Kennett, Mo., will davel-
Company, Aiken. 8. C.. will erect
fertiliser plant of 130 tons dally ca
pacity.
along north side
trnteum. oil and natural
The Cremer Lumber Company.
Little. Rock. Ark., was Incorporated
with a capital stock of $2$0,0$$.
LETTER WRITING MADE EASY
From The New York Evening Post.
A sense of personal humility always
attends the act of glancing thru a new
text-book on the art of letter-writing.
One of the first things the eyu lights
upon la the proper way of addressing
the president of the United States. If
It Is not the president of the United
States, It Is the governor of New York
state, or the governor general of Can
ada, or the British flret lord of the
treasury, or an archbishop. You begin
by admitting the abstract value of the
Information conveyed, but tHs next
step Is to ask yourself why there should
be so little In common between your-
self ’and the president of the United
States. Up to the present, you havu
addressed no letters to the white house
and the future Menu to offer no occa
sion for doing ao. So far as the great
mass of ua are concerned what la there
we hare to say to Mr. Taft, either In
the way of praise or blame, that ha haa
not already read in the newspapers?
What does one write about to a bishop,
not to mention the pope himself, whose
proper title la pretty sure to be found
In all the correspondence guides that
aspire toward completeness? That la
where the sense of non-importance be
sets one. The number of men In this
world who must be addressed as His
Excellency. His Reverence, or Hts Hon
or, Is so large that It comes with I
shock to learn how many years one has
lived without ever having done ao.
But It la a poor letter-writer that
dors not provide for every contingency.
Every man's prerogative to writ* to a
king Is as well established as every
cat's right to look at one, tho the
right may he as rarely utilised In the
one case aa In the other. Chart**
Lamb, who. to Judge from his published
works, must have been himself a care
ful student of handy aids to letter
writing, tells In a famous letter to his
friend Manning of a little text-book «n
honorific titles that he ho* composed.
Illustrating the various grades of Brit
ish nobility, with his own name as a
concrete example. Thus Lamb saw him
self mounting the various steps from
plain Mr. Charles Lamb to 2. Charles
Lamb, Esq., *. Sir Charles Lamb, Bart.;
4. Baron I^mb; 5.Viscount Lamb,Bart.;
4. Baron Lamb; 5, Viscount Lamb: II,
Earl Lsmb: 7, Marquis Lamb; and ft.
Duke Lamb. Beyond thni point hts
I ambition seldom traveled, but In mo
ments of special exaltation he saw him
self aa *, Prince Lamb; 10, King Lamb;
11. Emperor Lamb, and 11, Pops Inno
cent. The author of correspondsncsll
manuals reconlsea the very human traitjj
which Lamb so pln-'“!ly satirise*. Th«
right of addressing . stamped envelope
to anybody In tho world Is one of the
privileges with which man in his Idler
moments may consol* hlmielf, even It
It Is a right which hs seldom tries to|[
make us* of.
With all their comprehensiveness. I
however, the ready letter writers fall in I
Just the very highest branches of thelr|]
trade. Multitudes of people undoubted
ly adopt the model forma In applying
for a position as clerk or office boy. in
offering congratulations on the birth of II
a child or the acquisition of a diploma. II
In extending condolences or In accepting
an Invitation to dinner. But It Is pre-l
claely thosa rare beings who write to
presidents and prime ministers and
archbishops that strike out Into ways
of their own. At least the most suc
cessful, letter writers do. ' A message
addressed to the white house In scrupu
lously correct form will pass thru the
hands of secretaries and clerks to
emerge on the presidential desk. If It
emerge* at all. In the form of a con
densed memorandum. But the letter*
that reach the presidential table flret
and that get themeelrea printed In the
newspapers are usually written by un
cultured fingers In Wyoming on v —
ping paper and are addressed to "t en- ii
dy, Washington." The most prominent
letter writers to great men are little
boys who ask the president to bring
their street numbers to the attention ofJl
Santa Claus. Even the most compre-l
henslvc of text-books contains no mod-1
cl for a little girl who wants Mr. TailII
to send her a baby brother.
Allowing for auch Inevitable short
comings. the modern complete letter
writers are not more behind the time*
than Is necessary for a new humin
need to develop and a corresponding
epistolary form to become standardUedll
For aught w* know, the newest boon
In the field may contain examples of
how to writ# to a congressman who hull
sold his vote, or how to write to th»
president of tho United States, asking!
him to pardon a convicted bank prerl-M
dent. The text-book edition of 1*1-1
may show us how one writes to the di
rector of the Louvre offering to reetorc
a stolen picture for a definite sum II
money, how one write* the board «
health complaining of the evil smells
from a neighbor’s aeroplane shed, or
how ono addresses the governor of e
state who t* a woman.
HERE ARE A FEW THAT ARE MORE OR LESS FUNNY
IN THE SOUP.
Mr. Shad—flap. Oyster, weren't your
two brothers In partnership tocstbsr In
business?
Mr. Oyster—Yea. but the partnership
wns dissolved. They were both cauyht
and made Into oyster soup.
IN THE SAME CLASS.
"It seemi to me that neither football
players nor their critics have much on
one another."
"Why notr
AN INFERENCE.
Tha Artist—Ona who Is sincerely de
voted to music must not love money.
Mlse Sweet—K Infer that from the seals
DRIVEN TO IT.
"How did you hsppen to go In for
(vtatlon?”
'*7 was driven to It. Three years ago
en heiress turned me down, and Tv*
been up la the air ever since.”
COLD BUSINESS.
Old Stager—I hear you have the p»"
represeatlng young Olddyboy open ir
your new play. I hop* I'm not too 1st-
for the place?
Manager—Sorry, but yeu look about
tf years too late. •