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SECOND SECTION The Atlanta Georgian AND NEWS SECOND SECTION VOL. X. NO. 129. ATLANTA, GA., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1911. PRTf!P! • In Atlanta: TWO CENTS 0n TrAln . FIVE CENTS The Art of Being Liked By DOROTHY DIX •If the first aid to popularity is to rt- frain from talking about yourself, the -est step in the art of being liked is to Md an interested and sympathetic ear ,1,11c other people discourse endlessly about themselves and their affairs." This Is a hard, saying, and probably ,tie reason that more' of us never have w ,in* cups presented to us by an ad miring public is because it takes a courage that is nothing less than sub lime to keep silence ooncerning'our own perfectly fascinating selves, the while „e listen to some deadly dull bore maunder on about his miserable belong ings and two-penny achievements and stupid children. Carnegie hero medals are distributed for less cause. But the reward of the patient listener Is an al most slavish adoration from his fellow creatures. Self Is a harp of a thousand strings upon which we can always play with a sure hand, and that evokes a music that will make everybody we meet go up and fellow us as long as we sing the saga of their own performances. The Pied Piper of Hamelln Was a piker compared to a talented listener. Therefore, if you wish to be sought sfter you have only to lead people to talk about their own affairs. Just ask .Mr. Man to tell you the details of that coup he made in the stock market or how many miles a day he averaged on the automobile run from here to Chi cago, or about the pedigree of his dog. You will see a Joyous light leap into his eyes, and he will want to take you out and buy you food and drink, and he will follow you down the steps, and hold you by the buttonhole and chant your praises from Dan to Beersheba. More. He will be convinced that you e one of the most intelligent and level-headed men he ever met, with the best Judgment and the soundest taste, and the most brilliant conversational iwers. If you are a woman and want to be popular with other women the short cut to their > liking is. thru the same door. Thus,.lead Mrs. Woman to tell you all about her clubs, and her clothes, and her children, and her ser vants, and say nothing at all of your own any more than' If you were a hermit in the wilderness, with a few fig leaves for a gown Instead of an Im ported Paris frock, and you will find yourself so overrun with Invitations for dinners and luncheons that you could live on them if necessary. ; Of course," I am not denying that to sacrifice the superlative joy of .bibwing 's own horn—which Is without doubt the most unalloyed pleasure on earth —Is a terrific price to pay for popular- \ . 1 merely state it as a fact that pularity can be bought at this price, and you can take It or leave it, as you like. t- . ,; Besides the .policy of keeping silent about yourself because it bores people to hear about you, and listening to them talk about ihe.mselveg because It tickles their vanity to do so, there is a very nder and human side to this phase of >e subject. h Is the friendliness, the humanity, the recognition of a common' brother- °d that makes one person take an in terest In another's affairs. One of .the most popular people that I have ever known in my life was a woman' who waB almost repulsively ugly in face and figure. Nor had she any redeeming charm of wit or intelli gence. Outwardly she was Just a plain, dull, drab, colorless sort of a woman: yet she drew every heart to her and men and women vied with each other In showing her such attention that even beauty and hr 11 Haney seldom got. , The secret of this woman’s charm was that she possessed to an extraor dinary degree the gift of sympathy and of being interested In other people. She ha'd tfte art of setting evsry tongue g-wagging about itself, and-making you feel that your sorrow or Joy was of intense and thrilling personal Interest to her. If you met her hut for an instant on the street she asked you sonic question concerning the subject that was upper most In your mind, and she listened with an expression of ecstatic Interest while you poured out the Iliad of your woes, or blared forth the paeon of your success. And she paid you the compliment of always remembering Just what your little specialty was, whether you had the rheumatism or nervous prostration; whether you believed yourself an un appreciated genius or the greatest lit erary light of the age; whether your pet theme was the marvel of precocity your children were, or whether you en joyed most pitying yourself as a domes tic martyr. To hear her name sent up over the telephone was a guarantee of an hour of blissful delight In descanting upon yourself, and it was only after this woman was dead that those oft us who had known and loved her, and probably hastened her end by boring her Into the grave, remembered that she had never said anything about herself at all, and that we did not know whether she had been/ happy or miserable, whether she had laughed or cried in secret. The Wsy of It. But If it is true that the most en tertaining conversationalists we ever met are those who let us do all of the talking, It is equally true that to be a good listener one must listen with in telligence. One must not refrain from talking because one has nothing to Say, but because one conveys the im pression that you say it so-much bet- teh than- 1 could, and the history of your life is so much more important than the simple annals of mine. To be effective, silence must be lined with gold, not lead. The art of listening with an ab sorbed expression is, however, easily learned. The difficult thing Is to ac quire sufficient heroism to give the floor to somebody else when we feel perfectly certain that wc are entitled to the center of the stage, with the Spot light turned full Upon us. and a gaping audience waiting breathless to hear us tell how we did it. But to those who have the hardihood to offer up, their own egotism on the THE RESTLESS WOMAN: A DISTINCT AND DREADFUL TYPE IN AMERICA She Never Amounts to Anything, No Matter How Great Are Her Gifts and Oppor- tunities---She Wastes Her Vital Forces and Has Nothing Left to Give Great Purposes The Restless tVoman may.be found here and there, in every part of the world. But only In America Is she de veloped to a distinct and dreadful type. Look about you and you will find her. Attracted by her physical charms, a Fortunate are you If you do not’ find young man asked the privilege of call- her in your own domicile; and • still ing. It was a summer day and a sum- more fortunate if, being a woman, you do not recognise, her as yourself. And, again, fortunate are you If, hav ing recognized yourself, you set about the great work of changing your type. The Restless Woman awakes in the morning, usually after a poor night bf broken ■ slumber, to plan enough work and pleasure, duty and chhrlty to keep ten women busy. There is no method in her planning; and before high noon she is .all un strung In her effort to decide which of the nine plans must be abandoned in order that she can carry out one of them. Whichever she decides to do, she Is sure to regret it soon afterward and bemoan the fact that she 'did not select one of the other plans, to occupy her time. I Never Amounts to Anything. All day long the Restless Woman is fussing about the house, or going in and out, remembering things she has forgotten, or forgetting things she haft tried to remember. She takes ten steps where she need only take one; and the sound of opening and shutting doors, and hurried footsteps, and swishing skirts, follows her everywhere. When she tries to settle down to read a book she invariably remembers some unfinished duty which calls her away; and she rarely completes a letter with out interrupting herself three times to go and do something else. The Restless Woman was once en cased in the.fprm of a beautiful young girl. By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX Copyright, 1911, Amerlcan-Journsi-Ex- sralner. mer home, snd no sooner was the young man seated facing the Restlesr Oirl than sne suggested a stroll in the open air; she thought the house seemed close. Forth they sailed; but six squares had not been traversed when the Restless Girl suggested an Ice Cream Parlor; and ere the cream was consumed she proposed the Roller Skating-Rink; and after that the Mov ing Picture Show. "Never before or since in my life,' quoth the young man speaking of the matter afterward, "did I suffer such ir ritation of spirit as during that call, would rather spend my life In solitary confinement than in the society of a girl that Is afflicted with chronic rest lessness." The Restless Woman never amounts to anything, no matter how great are her gifts and apportunlties. Habit la a Vice. She can not make progress in music, in art, in literature, In social or char itable work, while dominated by this little demon of Restlessness.' She wastes her vital forces in fool ish, petty, senseless ways, and has nothing left to give to a great pur pose. She is a most unsatisfactory friend, for her restless spirit causes her to break her engagements; and she never listens with any focused attention while others are talking. Her mind wanders, and she shows by her manner that she wants to get away. The Restlev Woman Is always dis satisfied with her life and always be lieves It is the fault of others that she does not reach any goal. The habit uf Restlessness is a VICE. It eats into the character, and de stroys the moral fiber, and prevents the development; of Individuality and Pow- er, which are factors ip IMMORTAL ITY. For the SOUL Is made of CONCEN TRATION of our divine-powers. If we wastp these powers in useless ways, in habits of thinking to no pur pose, we waste the soul, and fall to build a place for ourselves In th* Im mortal Realms which are mental planes of Existence. Tho you keep ail the Ten Command ments, and believe in the orthodox creed of your church, yet you can not enter the heaven of which you dream unless you learn the meaning of the words concentration, rest, silence, peace, pa tience, perseverance, will. Learn to Keep Still, And you can never make any man or child happy, as a wife or mother, until you overcome the vicious and destruc tive habit of restlessness. Learn how to keep still. Learn how to sit down and read a book, with your mind on what you are reading. When it starts'to run away, pull It back as you would rein in restive steed you were driving. Learn how to listen—and to show that you are listening to what your friend Is saying. Learn how to decide on a course of action, and to carry It out. Learn how to resolve that you will stay at home for a certain number of hours, and do certain things, and enjoy them, and do not permit anything to change your plans. Learn how to keep your en- icements. All this means building character. It Is good work to undertake this New Year. Sin of Parent Against Child By DOROTHY DIX HUMAN NUISANCES altar of popularity, and minister to oth er people's vanity, grent are the re wards In the liking of their fellow crea tures. f ^ l FOR SWEET SIXTEEN. # . daintiness and girlish charm are dominant In this little party frock ’f cor n colored crepe de chine. The skirt is gathered and Joined to the "•mono blouse with a heading of the material. Around tho slightly low •* « puffing of yellow lace about three inches in width and a narrow °* the * acc finishes the short sleeve. The skirt has two bands of **** puffing and Is also trimmed with yellow ribbon caught at Inter- f *J* *Hk roses In the same shade. This ribbon and the roses also Iorm the narrow girdle. Of all the human nuisances who Jijive made life harder for us, we have no more poignant memory man that of the interrupter. The man or wwnan, and It is as often one as the other^vho thinks what he or she thinks about a subject is so much more important than wnat you are say- | ing about it, and who proves this by putting your speech in two. Is the most common type. Every one has suffered from this nuisance and every one has at some time felt an unholy impulse to kill, because of the speech interrupter. Another of the species ls # the person who calls at meal time and whq, having breakfasted or dined himself, sits at the table and watches you eat and even amuses hlmsel* by comments upon your appetite. If It is robust, he implies his greater refinement by telling you that it has always been quite impossible fo^ him to gorge. If your appetite is slight, he frightens you by a solemnly deliv ered suggestion that you should lose no time In seeing a doctor. And, In any case, he makes you - self-conscious. Eat ing is not In itself a beautiful function. It Is so unpootlc as to have offended Byron, w-ho exclaimed: “I-hate to see a woman eat.” If we happen to sit oppo site a mirror while refreshing our Inner selves, we arc not moved to admiration by the glimpse* we catch of ourselves In the act of munching. And w^are never reassured by the presence of an Inter ested spectator. He Is likely to cause an acute attack of stage fright, and he Is sure to rob us of our appetites. ' There Is an Informal Interrupter who comes in the back way. invading your - kitchen at the eleventh hour of the preparation of a meal, or in the wring ing out stage of Jhe family wash. She is of the same family as the guest who “runs right In without knocking.” But fhe worst of this maddening type is the woman who visits you while you ^ress. Perhaps you are a business woman and make your plans for the day while you brush and coll your'hair, while you but ton yoar shoes, and adapt your stays to the day’* figure. The interrupter, who sits down, always In your way, is un welcome tor one or both of two rea sons. Either her chatter breaks your chain of thought or her silences indi cate that she is making mental criti cism of your toilet or yourself. Or, If you are a home woman, and are dress ing to go out, she make* you miserable, too, if only because thru her visit you are late for your engagement, or sho causes you to forget some essentials of the toilet. I met a friend entering a* theater one night. Her face was so palo I feared she would faint. A beckoning gesture brought me to her side. “I came in a hurry and snatched oft my storm suit and got Into these things. We're going to supper after the play. Mrs. Brown came in while I was dress ing. It always makes me nervous to have a call while I am changing my dress, and I forgot to take off my damp petticoat. I'm sure it’s muddy. And, anyway, I’m certain the thing Is com ing off.” The pretty little woman In the dainty frock was on the verge of hysteria. Tears trembled In her eyes. Glancing at the sharp-eyed, sword-tongued Mrs. Brown, I had no doubt she had noted the oversight and would inform the neighborhood that the woman she had Interrupted at her toilet was not as neat as she Invariably- looked. Even the hours of slumber are not secure against Invasion. The Inter rupter telephones after we have re tired. or calls before we have risen. Perhaps an indistinct murmur Informs us of sorrow for having disturbed our rest, but the sorrow Is not as sincere, or at least is not as deep as, It seems to us, the situation demands. The most tantalising interrupters are those who talk while we work. They are perhaps honest persons. At least, they would not steal our pocketbooks. But they have hot the slightest com punction about stealing our time and subtracting from the value of our work by preventing complete concentration upon It. And we all know the person who talks while we read, or who chirrups hile wo are writing letters. Their voices seem to come to us from the far dlstnncc, but If we do not reply at once, or If we reply'In a preoccupied way, Ihe ^ voice becomes suddenly, sharply near. There Is no cure tor the Interrupter. He belongs to the small data of In curable diseases. But he may be In a measure checked. Give him a dose of his own bitter medicine. Interrupt him. Nuisance may curtail nuisance. Or let him know that you conalder the Inva sion of personal privacy a crime. Tell him that no one has s right "to Inter rupt any one, unless that one be one of the three privileged classes—bill col lectors, employers or one's husband or wife. THE END. In a speech before the National As sociation for the Study and Education of Exceptional Children the other night Dr. Eaton said; "The weakest spot In America today Is the home. This weakness Is due to the sins of American parents toward their children. These sins are both of omission and commission. The pro found elementary realities of life are not taught In American homes today. A simple, sane, moral conception of life should be taught. The child's moral gristle should be hardened into a bone.” These are worda of profound wisdom whlcjt every father and mother In the land should lay to heart. Th4 greatest crime of modern civilization Is the way In which the average child Is being brought up. He or she Is being reared a pagan and a hoodlum, with neither the fear of God nor man before his or her eyes, with no respect for authority, no regard for law. no Idea of obedience, no recog nition of the rights of others, no con ception of duty, no vestige of self-con trol. The grossest material philosophy goes to no other such end as it Is em bodied in the iHodern child, whose sole theory of life Is to take the best It can get for Itself without regard for the feelings or the rights of others, and to get this best by trampling rough shod over everybody who stands In Us way. The Reason Why. To any thoughtful person who re gards this system of educating youth It Is no wonder that our prisons are filled with boy criminals, or that on every corner of the streets we see that most tragic of figures—a little, unde veloped, unformed girl, still a child In years, who has taken the easiest way to the finery and gayety she craves; or that our divorce courts are crowded with the matrimonial quarrels of men and women who lack the courage to and women wno lack the courage to unwaveringly before her, l» never the endure disappointment, and keep the girl who goes wrong. I Sho has that In the sort of a woman who changes hus bands as often as she does fashions? Nine-tenths of, all the crime and sin and misery of the world can bo laid right at the door of the wrongdoer’s parents, and. for myself, I confess that when I hear about the pathetic old father or the heartbroken old mother of the murderer or tho thief, or the g|rl who has gone astray, I haven’t got' many tears to shed. I feel like saying to the parent: "You are the real sinner. It’s your fault that this criminal stands before the bar of Jus tice. If you had done your duty this man or woman would be living a good, useful life, a blessing. Instead of a curse, to humanity.” This sounds hard, but every word of it Is true, for, except in the case of the Insane, congenltlve Idiots, there Is not a crime committed in which tho par ents are not the alders and abettors of it; there Is not a crime committed that they could not have prevented had they done their duty by their children. When you let your tittle boy fly into blind rages in which ho beats the fur niture, and bites, and Kicks everybody about him, you are raising up a poten tial murderer. When you let your little boy have another piece of pie because he cries for It, altho you know that It will mako him sick, you have started him on the way to being a drunkard and Indulging bis appetite at any cost. When you let your little boy give up every little task because it's hard, and because he wants to play' Instead of work, you foredoom him right then and there to being one of the failures in life. Given a normal child,- and its future Ilea In the parents' hands. The boy that Is taught obedience and self-con - trol, respect for authority and regard for the rights of others, never grows up to be a drunken hoodlum. The boy that Is brought up In the knowledge of the dignity of labor, and wno is held re sponsible for the performance of cer tain duties, and who Is taught that there Is no shame greater than that of n man not being able to stand on his own feet, does not degenerate Into an Idler and & loafer. The girt who is taught modesty of behavior, and has high Ideals of sweetness and purity held unwaveringly before Jier, is never the obllgatlons they had assumed. Sad as these cases are, common as they are, when you see how the average family Is reared the marvel Is not that there are so many such instances, but that they are so few. How can you expect a boy who haB never been taught obedience at home to have any respect for law and au thority outside of the home? How can you expect a boy who has never had any regard for the rights of others Instilled Into him, to keep hla hand out of the cash drawer of hie employer when he gets the opportunity to steal? How can you expect a boy who has never been forced to control himself to resist temptation when It comoa his way? How can you expect a girl who haa been taught by example. If not by precept, that fine clothes are the ends of life to a woman, not to get them tfny way she can? How can you expect a girl who has hod nothing In her cul tivated except vanity and extrava gance and selfishness, to be anything but a curse to the husband who gets her? How can you expect a girl who has been Indulged in her every whim all of her life to become anything but her own heart that beats all the chap erons In the wbrld. Not New Faots. These are not new facth. There’s no father or mother so dull as not to know them better than any one can tell him or her. Yet, every day on tho street cars wo see well dressed boys, whose appearance shows they come from good families, whose behavior Is that of hoodlums, and who are being permitted to grow up Into being toughs. We see these samo boys defacing, the property in apartment houses and making life hideous for the other tenants. Wc hoar their parents’ mournful la ment that they can not control Johnnlo or Willie. We are accosted on the streets by beautiful and elegantly gowned little girls who beg for money for soda water, and call after us epi thets of the sluma when we refuse tn hand over a dime, and we wonder what these children's parents are thinking about. And the pity of It all Is that these parents are making criminals of their children thru love. They are so tender to their precious darlings they can not bear to deny them anything evon for the child's ultimate good. Thfly, them selves, are so weak and flabby they lack the strength to harden the muscles of the child’s morals so that It will he enabled to withstand the strain of life. To every father and mother that reads these words I commend Dr. Eaton's advice. HIS MAJESTY, THE BABY If it were not for the love babies bring with them Into this world, how many, of tile little red things would be kept over night? Alter tile baby has arrived its father has to fall down in a fit and kick tho chandelier to attract his wife's atten tion and sympathy, tho previous to its arrival, if ho complained of an aching coni she was ready with a remedy. The first baby Is a more serious rival than any man knew in hts courtship days. After tt comes, Its father feels very much as an old doll looks when its own er gets a new one for Christmas, and-tf he starts off to work In the morning without kissing the baby's mother good bye. she doesn't notice that he has neg lected to observe a very Important cus. tom. Should he want to kiss her, he must wait till she rids her mouth of pins. The first accident Insurance taken out for the baby is a safety pin, anil tho the house was run pretty well without safety pins before the baby fame, after Its arrival they arc used for everything, even on father's clothes. The women, who love all kinds ct babies, compare the kind that keeps Its mouth open with a little bird, and the men, who love without poetic senti ment. look at the open mouth and won der if it Is going to have good sense. V/hsn Baby Sings. The sweetest and tenderest of lullaby songs ore sung on the stage, and if a baby happens to be In the audience that needs putting to sleep the audience protests with a roar. Baby soon learns that lullaby songs are not sung accord. Ing to fashion unless siing loud enough to wake up every baoy In the block. There are many reasons why It Is a good thing to have a baby in the house. By FRANCES L. CARSIDE Its presence broadens one's sympathies increases one's capacity for love, and takes the attention of the mosquitoes from the grown folks. The men like to say a woman can't run. There is-a notable exception to this rule. When the baby cries, its mother can outrun any male sprinter the world ever knew. Sometimes the baby comes into the world with a serious handicap—a moth er whose breasts are filled with indig nation at the wrongs of her sex. Here of late babies are so improved that they wake 'up laughing, and when a baby cries its father voluntarily looks at Itsmother to see If she heard It. Even a colicky baby Is more desirable to have next door than a graphophone, for tlie reason that if its parents keep It .It may grow to be a useful citizen, but r graphophone will never be anything but a graphophone. Would you be as good as the baby If a lot of glanta got around you with the Idea that to amuse you they must pinch your cheeks and pinch you In the ribs, and ever so often your mother took you to a place downtown where a man looked at you thru aome sort of a ma chine after first scaring you to death by ringing a bell, or having an Imitation bird sing, that he might make a picture of you that has no more expression than a lump of dongb? Always a Baby. If the baby Is treated right, the floors always look as if they had been swept n-lth a hasty glance, and If the baby is the first of a number, it is grown up at ten. and If it Is the last U la still con sidered a baby at *S. If it gets a toy balloon, Its possession means two weeps—a weep to get It and a weep a few minutes later when It blows up—and all thru life Its Joys are attended this way. When the baby cries, its mother doesn't scold. She looks It over toy of fending pins and waist bands that pinch, and this excuse for tears and temper attends no one over the age of five. There la always some one to pull the baby back from the fire to keep tt from burning Itself. There la always some one tempting It to play with fire when it Is grown. A man never knows how small hla house Is until the baby screams, nor how large until the baby la dead. Ask a baby what Its name Is, and Its mother will wipe Ita nose and say: "Tell the gentleman.” Every time aome one looks at It Its mother Is'reminded that it is time to wring ita nose. There fore don't look at the baby. The father comes home In great ex citement to tell hia wife his rich uncle has failed. "Is that no?" she will say. "Do you know, I think the baby la look ing more like you." He tells her of a change In the map of the world, and she replies, "The baby hasn't cried once today," and his delight In an election la met with a eulogy on baby's new food. All these things and more come to pass when there arrives In • home Hia Majesty the Rahv Wilt Child. From Punch. The Rector- "Now. Molly, would you rather be beautiful or good?” Molly—"I'd rather be beautiful and re pent." At Hie Mercy. From The New York Evening Mall. Householder—"Here. Drop that coat and clear out!" Burglar—"You be quiet, or t'D wake your wife and give her this letter I found In your pocket." GRAY ZiBELiNE AND FuS Gray zlbeline was the material used for this flniah etreet suit This was effectively trimmed with black baby lamb. > 1— closes with a single button and haa the strop belt which haa been ao popular for the longer coats this year, Ther. r. revere, the front and cuffs being finished with a band of fur. Th.< skirt hai a tablier front with a curving band of fur running from either sid.- . the back. Gray soft felf hat with black novelty win at the .-id--.