Newspaper Page Text
6ut of the Mouths of Babes”
A Collection of Ingenuous and Naive Sayings
by Bright Young Americans.
From THE DELINEATOR.
F (alili'!"' n S ~IC I’lnral.
and v,-ho was four years old, vis-
VVjs uncle on the farm. When
irfline home, his father asked him
be ‘ hai pleased him the most.
, oh i liked the geese. I had 3uch
-hjising them, and we had a
fllU t h \ir goose for dinner one day!”
?r Well ” said his father, “how can
,]i the difference between a
•°l e and geese?”
g \w. that’s easy,” said Fred. ‘‘One
j S a goose and two gooses is
geese ”
Glad He Stopped Fraying.
Little Bob, who for some months
had invariably ended his evening
yer w jth “Please send me a baby
P n i’ ne r,” announced to his mother
fl'at he was tired of praying for what
he did not get, and that he did not
believe dod had any more little boys
to send.
Xot long afterward he was car
ried into his mother’s room very ear
lv in the morning to see twin boys,
who had arrived during the night.
Bo b looked at the two babies criti
cally, and then remarked, “It’s a
good thing I stopped praying, or
there’d been three of them.”
Times Had Changed.
Jamie was begging his father for a
second helping of preserve. “When
I was a boy,” said his papa, “my
father only allowed me to have one
helping-”
Jamie was silent for a minute, and
then asked, “Aren’t you glad you
live with us now, Daddy?”
Eddie Wanted a Fan.
Eddie, not quite three, wanted to
ask his mother for a fan one warm
day. To think of the word “fan”
was too much for his little brain, so
with his little hands he want through
the motion of fanning himself and
said:
"Mumsy, tin Eddie have one of
them things to brush the warm off
with?”
\ Polite Doctor.
When the baby came to Mary’s
home she was told that the doctor
brought it. She thought he kept an
unlimited supply. Mary had been
taught that politeness was one of the
greatest charms a person could pos
sess.
One day the doctor called, and
said, "Mary, we have anew baby at
our home; would you like to go with
me to see it?”
Mary was delighted. The baby
was very tiny, only weighing three
and one half pounds. When Mary
saw this frail bit of humanity she
turned her face to the doctor, and
said:
"I think you are very peelite, to
take the smallest for yourself.”
He’d Be Half Asleep.
Five-year-old James was tempor
arily deprived of the use of one eye
by a painful sty. As night ap
proached, he said to his mother,
Mamma, I’ll have to go to bed early
to-night, because I haven’t got but
one eye to sleep with.’*
Carl’s Aspirations.
Little Carl, six years old, had been
teased a great deal by his uncle
about the vocation he would choose
when he became a man. One day he
overheard his mother and a caller
talking about a certain gentleman
being a bachelor.
Mhen the caller left, his mother
noticed that he was unusually quiet
a nd seemed to be in a deep study.
Hnally he said to her, “Mamma, is
a bachelor a good trade?”
hat Hilda Liked.
A friend asked little Hilda how she
Hked going to school. “I like the go
*E§ and the coming,” she replied,
but I don't like the staying.”
Teacher Didn’t Know.
“How do you like your teacher,
ear little Mary was asked, after
nor first day at school. “I like her
Jeal well,” said Mary, “but I don’t
jhinks she knows much, for she just
kee Ps asking questions all the time.”
He Wasn’t Afraid.
One morning last spring, little
Rut h, aged seven, was watching a
E)(j adow lark in the adjoining field,
and listening to his song. In a little
He she came running into the
°use to her mother and said, “Moth-
| r . he wasn’t a bit afraid! He
°°ked at me and then turned round
a nd sang another verse.”
>lar > and the Kitten.
tie Mary was playing with her
, et bitten. The kitten scratched
and she exclaimed, “You is a
aar ned old kitty!”
1( r mother told her must never
1,1 such a naughty word again;
a to be sure to impress it on her
* I1( ’ washed her mouth out with
Soa P and water.
i be next day Mary was again play
a T * l kitty, and again trouble
toark’ Wllell s£ie was k ear d to re
km . a is ust the same kind of a
ri -’ ou was yesterday!”
i Dodger.
£at ber had served in the
Pith ar ’ an<£ Carol liked t#
|g Ug , e rna &y battles in which P-~ had
• One day, after listening to
the vivid recital of many heroio
deeds, Carol said:
“Father, you went through all
those battles?”
“Yes.”
"And the shot and shell fell all
around you?”
“Yes.”
“And the soldiers were falling and
dying everywhere?”
“Yes.”
“Well, father, what a fine dodge*
you must have been!”
What Helen AVould Do.
Mamma and baby Randall, in his
high chair, sat at the breakfast table,
their backs to the fire. The room
was not very warm.
Little Helen, aged four years, sat
beside her father at the other end of
the table. Shivering, she said:
“My back is cold. If I was a
mamma I would take my baby in my
lap, and if I had a little girl about
the size of me I’d let her sit where
Randall is.”
Still Running.
Edwin, aged four, owned a picture
book in which a fierce looking cow
was running after a small boy. He
looked at it a long time, when care
fully closing the book he laid it away.
A few days later he got the book
again, and turned to the picture.
Bringing his chubby fist down on the
cow, he exclaimed in a tone of tri
umph, “She ain’t caught him yet!”
Donald Knew.
Margaret, aged ten, was a begin
ner in history. “Mamma,” she asked,
“what does ‘behead’ mean?”
“To cut off a man’s head, dear.”
There was a moment of silent
study; then another question.
“What does ‘defeat’ mean, mam
ma?”
Little Donald, aged four, was in
terested.
“I know, mamma,” was his logi
cal conclusion. “ ‘Defeat’ means to
cut a man’s feet off.”
The Largest Giver.
I want to tell you of an inquiry
of my little five-year-old Helen. She
attends Sunday-school regularly. Re
turning home one Sunday, she said:
“Mamma, every Sunday the man
reads how much money each class
gives, and then he tells how much
Total gives, and Total gives more
than any one. He must be a rich
man. Who it Total, mamma?”
What Willie Saw.
When Willie saw a peacock for
the first time he said to his mother:
“Oh, mamma, you should have
seen it! Electric lights all over the
ferns and a turkey underneath!”
A Budding Philologist.
Bobbie, aged five, saw a cow graz
ing in his mother’s flower garden,
and shouted, “Scat! scat!”
The cow didn’t seem to be much
intimidated, and calmly ate on.
Three-year-old Mary, dancing with
excitement, exclaimed:
“Tell him to ‘scow,’ Wobbie, tell
him to ‘scow!’ ”
The Same Way.
We were taking a little trip into
the country. The only vacant seats
in the train were turned so as to
face each other. I told my little girl,
four years of age, to take the seat
in front of me, as riding backward
would not make her sick. She hes
itated, and said:
“I know it won’t make me sick,
but if I ride backward will I go to
the same place you are going to?”
BACTERIA AND MONEY.
Paper Currency as a Vehicle For Dis
ease Germs.
In a bacteriological study of soiled
paper money, published in the Popu
lar Science Monthly, Mr. Warren W.
Hilditch, of Yale University, found
the numbers of bacteria present on
the bills ranged from 14,000 up to
556.000, with an average for twenty
one bills of 142,000. There seemed
to be no connection between the
amount of dirt and the number of
bacteria present; the cleanest-looking
bill that he used had next to the high
est count (405,000), while the bill
that looked the dirtiest had but 38,-
000. When a bill has been in circula
tion for a short time and has become
somewhat cracked, and its peculiar
glaze worn off, the bacteria very eas
ily cling to it without the presence of
dirt and grease All inoculations gave
negative results, the time limit being
placed from six to seven weeks. The
author concludes, after a careful
study of the subject, that “money con
stitutes an unimportant factor in the
transmission of disease.” We want
and certainly need a more frequent
redemption of our soiled and worn
bills, yet the facts and evidences at
hand do not justify us in alarming
the public needlessly by rash state
ments concerning our currency. Ad
mitting the possibility that money
may act as a medium of transmission,
certainly the failure of any virulent
disease germs to manifest themselves
in the foregoing experiments will al
low us to feel a bit easier in regard
to dirty money.
The Boasting Grocer.
Notice in a grocer's shop: "Our
Cheese is Unapproachable. *’—London
Globe.
HELPFUL
ADVICE
You won’t tell your family doctor
the whole story about your private
illness —you are too modest. You
need not be afraid to tell Mrs. Pink
ham, at Lynn, Mass., the things you
could not explain to the doctor. Your
letter will be held in the strictest con
fidence. From her vast correspond
ence with sick women during the
past thirty years she may have
gained the very knowledge that will
help your case. Such letters as the fol
lowing, from grateful women, es
tablish beyond a doubt the power of
LYDIA E.PINKHAM’S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND
to conquer all female diseases.
Mrs. Borman R. Barndt, of Allen
town, Pa., writes:
“Ever since I was sixteen years of
age I had suffered from an organic de
rangement and female weakness; in
consequence I had dreadful headaches
and was extremely nervous. My physi
cian said I must go through an opera
tion to get well. A friend told me
about Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound, and I took it and wrote you
for advice, following your directions
carefully, and thanks to you I am to
day a well woman, and I am telling
all my friends of my experience.”
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
ham’s Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands of
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera
tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
ing-down feeling, flatulency, indiges
t .and i zzineßS,ornervous prostration.
BLACK TO BLACK.
Mother —Whar yo’ goin’, chile?
Daughter—Ah’s goin’ nex’ do’t’ play
on Mrs. Jackson’s piano.
Mother —Wash yo’ dirty hands’ fo’
yo’ go den.
Daughter—Ah ain’t goin’ t’ play on
Beware of Ointments For Catarrh
That Contain Mercury,
as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange the ays
tem when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should never be used
except on prescriptions from reputable phy
sicians, as the damage they will ao is ten fold
to the good you can possibly derive from
them, flail's Catarrh Cure, manufactured
by F. J. Cheney & Cos., Toledo, 0., contains
no and is taken internally, acting
dirt-afy upon the blood and mucous surfaces
of the system. In buying Hall’s Catarrh Cure
be sure you get the genuine. It is taken in
terpaUy and made in Toledo. Ohio, by F.
J. Cheney & Cos. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists; price, 75c. per bottle.
. Take Hall’s Family Fills for constipation.
NAVAL ORDER.
Brown—Ah! they’ve just dropped
the anchor.
Mrs. B.—And serve ’em right. It’s
been dangling outside all the morn
lng!—(Punch.
' Ays,
The cleanest.— ' \
lightest.—and \J) \ s g>
most comfortable \
SUCKER IF rA\ \
at the same time /Vj
cheapest in the
end because it
wears longest
*309 Everywhere
Every garment guar- P<*'- I 'Mi
an feed waterproof V l JJ 4ofl
.Catalog free *
A J TOW*. CO aOiTO** WS A
tow co Canadian co.lihitco Toronto can
Says Mrs. Pigford
of Teacheys, N. C., “Please accept my thanks for your wonderful
medicine, Wine of Cardui. It is the grandest female medicine on earth.
“I suffered for 10 years, with pains all over. The doctors said
they were all caused by female trouble.
“I have been taking Cardui for a long time and find more help in
that, than in anything I have ever taken. lam now able to do all my
work. I will do anything I can to help you to sell Cardui.”
The benefit that ladies get from taking Cardui cannot be measured
or described in words. It helps them over their hard times and makes
all times seem easy.
Take CARDUI .
Governor Magoon has been made
honorary president of the firemen of
Havana, Cuba.
DEEP CRACKS FROM ECZEMA.
Could Li ay Slate-Pencil in One—*
Hands in Dreadiul State—Disease
Defied Treatment for 7 Years
—Cured by Cuticura.
“I had eczema on my hands for about
6even veais and during that time 1 had
used several so-called remedies,- together
with physicians’ and druggists’ prescrip--
tions. The disease was so bad on my
hands that I could lay a slate-pencil in one
of the cracks and a rule placed across the
hand would not touch the pencil. 1 kept
using remedy after remedy, and while some
gave partial relief, none relieved as much
as did the first box of Cuticura Ointment.
I made a purchase of Cuticura Soap and
Ointment and my hands were perfectly
cured after two boxes of Cuticura Oint
ment and one cake of Soap were used. W.
H. Dean, Newark, Del., Mar. 28, 1907.' 1
The average man can get used to
anything, even to making a fool of
himself.
avoid risiTTn buying paint.
You take a good deal of risk if you
buy white lead without having abso
lute assurance as to its purity and
quality. You know white lead is of
ten adulterated, often misrepresented.
But there’s no need at all to take
any chances. The “Dutch Boy Paint
er” trade mark of the National Lead
Company, the largest makers of gen
uine white lead, oh a package of
White Lead, is a positive guarantee
of purity and quality. It’s as depend
able as the Dollar Sign. If you’ll
write the National Lead Company,
Woodbridge Bldg., New York City,
they will send you a simple and cer
tain* outfit for testing white lead, and
a valuable book on paint, free.
The people who worry most about
burglars are generally those who have
nothing worth stealing.
John R. Dickey’s old reliable eye water
cures sore eyes or granulated lids. Don’t
hurt, feels good; get the genuine in red box.
Don’t cross your bridge till you
come to it, and maybe you will find
it isn’t there.
ANTIDOTJE for skin DISEASES.
That’s what Tetterine is; and it is mor*.
It is an absolute cure for eczema, tetter,
ringworm, erysipelas and all other itching
cutaneous diseases. In aggravated cases
of these afflictions its cures have been phe
nomenal. It gives instant relief and effects
permanent cures. 50c. at druggists or by
mail from J. T. Shuptjuine, Dept. A, Sa
vannah, Ga.
THE MODERN POLONIUS.
“My boy, never write love letters.”
“But ”
“If you must send something, let
it be a post-card depicting the stock
yards or something equally noncom*
mittal.” —Kansas Citv Journal.
American Cotton and Business University
and School of Telegraphy, Consolidated
MILLEDGEVILLE, GA.
COTTON* We K uara p tee to complete any one with good eyesight in 30 days how to grade, elaseifv
U . uT , average, ship, buy and sell cotton, and be able to protect themselves in any first-clam
market. V\e also teac h how to grade cotton by a Correspondence Course. Our sample rooms under expert
cotton men- All samples ROOIOCFFPINO • 8in * ,e and dc n >le entry, Buget system, recog
f REE. Ilt| VX. nized by business men to be the best, COM
MERCIAL LAW and all LITERARY branches. SHORTHAND, TYPEWRITING, Gregg and Electric.
Teletrranhv nnri Rilroriincr- lender three expert Telegraphers and Train Dispatchers.
anU v Main line Railroad wires. The best equipped school in the
south. Expenses reasonable. Write for Catalogue, and state course desired.
NUBIAN
TRY A BOTTLE
f m | ■ Young Men and Ladles of ambition should master Telegraphy and R.
I HQltn Ifl nflPQTim/ B. Accounting in one of our Institutes. Great scarcity of opera-
I Hfll II I H|H| 11 fl 1811 V tore - We operate five schools under direct supervision of Railway
LUUI II 1 UIUUI UpII V Officials. Main-line wires in all our schools. Positions absolutely
v I v assured, when competent. Work for board. Prospectus free.
National Telegraph Institute, (Dept. A. N.) memphlSn.; c.
Georgia Normal College
And Business Institute
FOUNDED AT ABBEVILLE 1898. REMOVED TO DOUGLAS 1908-
Best equipped Biismess College in the South. Coursa-i; Scientific, Teachers’, Business,
Penmanship, Btc. Write for catalogue and specimens of Penmanship.
W. A. LITTLE, Prin. A. A. KUHL, Prin. Com’l Dept.,
DOUGLAS, GEORGIA
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
Color more goods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10c. package colors all fibers. They dye In cold water better than any other dye. You
■vui dve any ganient without ripping apart. Write for free booklet—How to Lye, Bleach and Mix Colors. MON ROE DR UG VO., Quincy, Illinois.
Malaria Causes Loss of Appetite
The Old Standard GROVB’S TASTKBKSS CHIIT, TONIC, drives out Malaria and builds up the
system. You know what you are taking. The formula is plainly printed on every bottle, showing it
is simply Quinine Aid Iron in a tasteless, and the most effectual form. For adults and children. 50c.
Thank You!
THE SAMSON OF COFFEES
Double the Strength of
the ordinary kinds —
goes twice as far send
thus is a. great MONEY
SAVER.
25cts I-fb
When the other fellow offers to com
promise it means that you have the
best of it.
KEEP YOUlt SKIN HEALTHY.
Tetterine has done wonders for suffer
ers from eczema, tetter, ground itch, ery
sipelas, infant sore head, chaps, chafes and
other forms of skin diseases. In aggravat
ed cases of eczema its cures have been mar
velous and thousands of people sing its
praises. 50c. at druggists or by mail from
J. T. Shuptrin'e, Dept. A, Savannah, Ga.
One ounce of eggs will produce 39,-
000 silk worms.
GXE KIDNEY GONE,
Bat Cured After Doctors Said There
Was No Hope.
Sylvanus O. VerrUl, Milford, Me.,
says: “Five years ago a bad injury
t paralyzed me and
affected my kid
neys. My back
hurt me terribly,
and the urine , was
badly disordered.
Doctors said my
right kidney was
practically dead.
They said I could
never walk again.
I read of Doan’s Kidney Pills and
began using them. One box made me
stronger and freer from pain. I kept
on using them and in three months
was able to get out on crutches, and
the kidneys were acting better. I im
proved rapidly, discarded the crutches
and to the wonder of my friends was
soon completely cured.”
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Cos., Buffalo, N. Y.
Quinine is sold by public sale In
Batavia, Java.
Hicks* Capudine Cures Headache,
Whether from Cold, Heat, Stomach, oi
Mental Strain. No Acetanilid or dangerous
drugs. It’s Liquid. Effects immediately.
10c., 25c., and 50c., at drug stores
Gray hairs need -be honored only
when they adorn honest heads.
■ nniTO TO HANDLE BICAEBT
fII.rNTV MONEY-MAKING
II ULIY I O FIRE EXTINGUISHERS;
■ ■ Special Starting Offer ; Exclusive Terri
tory ; #75 to #3OO Per Month.
THE ALCATRAZ CO., RICHMOND, VA.
INVIGORATES THE SYSTEM
And makes life worth living.
Corrects your liver troubles.
Relieves that tired feeling.
Ask your dealer for it
You need it, if not always, at least whenever you are out of sorts.
A dose in time will save nine. So you had
oetter keep it on the shelf, as thousands of other
dgj&g women do, so as to get its help when they need it.
Cardui’s pure, natural, harmless, vegetable
I vT I ingredients, make it a safe and pleasant medicine
1 I f° r girls and women, of all ages, beginning just
feLL before puberty.
It has relieved the constant suffering of
\ ? thousands, and helped them back to health.
LS Try Cardui. Druggists sell it, with full di-
MRS. PIGFORD,
Teacheys, n. c. rections for use.
SCLD EVERYWHERE
Cold cash warms a marble heart,
but the effect is only temporary.
CURED
#5 Dropsy s®
Removes all swelling in 8 to 30
'idays; effects a permanent cure
,<d \ in 30 to 6o days. Trial treatment
.Hikegiven free. Nothingean be fairer
Write Dr. H. H. Green’s Sons,
B&Q Specialists. Box b Atlanta. Gr
THE J.R.WATKINS MED.CO.
WINONA, MINNESOTA
Make* 70 Different Article*: Household
Remedies. Flavoring Extract* all Kinds,
Toilet Preparation*, Fine Soaps, Etc.
CANVASSERS WASTED IN EVERY COUNTY
40 Y earwExperlence,s3,ooo,ooo Output
BEST PROPOSITION EH£ Q"A6ENTS
Dr. Grid’s Family Salve
For Eczema, Tetter, Itch*
Chapped Hands, Piles,
Burn*, Sores and all
fi awSwlfllr SSi J- itchen*. Jackeon, Gs.
"I have uwd n>or o#l\e fo*
piles. * nf t would not take (I.oootor
bene “* 1 got rrom on© to*.
I Bold under cun un-tea to pie* so,
ralTml or m o ne >' back. Price 26c and 50*.
hv mail, if you cannot find It at
store*.
Gainesville Medicine Cc„
GAINES V l LL r . nn
Take the Place of Calomel
Constipation sends poisonous matter bounding
through the body. Dull headache. Sour 8 tom a eh.
Feted Breath, Bleared Eye*. Los* of Energy and An-
Eetite are the surest signs or he affliction. Young *
iver Pills postively cure eonstipation. They awaken
the sluggish liver to bettor action, cleanse the
bowels, strengthen the weakened parts. Induce appe
tite and aid digestion. They do not fjafivafce, no mat
ter what you eat. drink or do. Price 25 cents from
your dealer or direct from
J. M. YOUNG, JR.. WAYCROSS, GA.
Saved—Our—Baby ,
That is the testimony of thousands of
MOTHERS who have used “Dr. Thornton’s
Easy-Teether.” It is a guaranteed remedy for
Teething, Summer Diarrhoea. Flux, Indiges
tion, and all Stomach and'j*,~ j£y j v*a!iles of
INFANTS. It is also the best thing
give your baby for a 0 >LD, it will cure a oold
in three days or less. If you want something
that will carry your haby through the moat
trying period In its life, send 2a cents to u* and
we will send you a box by return mail. For
sale by all druggists and oountry merchants,
25 cents, or
Easy-Teether Medicine Cos., Hartwell, Ga.
Write to-day for free BOOKLET, “The Baby ,k
and “How to Care Pot It.”
WL.DOUGI/AS
*3OO SHOES >350 .
’ w. L. Douglas makes and sells moreV'
men’s $3.00 and $3.50 shoes than any
other manufacturer in the world, be
cause they hold their shape, fit better, 1
and wear longer,than any other make.
Shoes at All Prices, for Every Member of the
Family, Men, Boys, Women, Misses £ Children
W.Z.. Dongles $4.00 and $6.00 Qilt Edge Shoes cannot
toe equalled at any price. W. L. Douglas $2.60 and
$2.00 shoes are the best in the world
Fast Color Eyelets Used Exclusively.
BTTake IVo Substitute. W. L. Doujflas
name and price is stamped on bottom. Sold
everywhere. Shoes mailed from factory to any
part of the world. Catalogue free.
W. L. DOUGLAS, 157 Spark St., Brockton, Mass.
~ ~(At39-'O3) ‘
Its Delicacy of Flavor
and its Smoothness of
Taste are never subor
dinated to its Strength
THE REILY-TAYLOR CO.,
NEW ORLEANS. LA.