Newspaper Page Text
VOL. 11.
NATIONAL CAPITAL
What is Being Done in Congressional
Hails for the Country’s Welfare.
PROCEEDINGS FROM DAY TO DAY BRIKFLV
TOLD—BILLS AND MEASURES UNDER •
CONSIDERATION —OTHER NOTES,
THE, HOUSE.
Thursday.— ln the house Mr. Oates,
(as a privileged question), from the com
mittee on judiciary, reported back the
substitute for Watson’s Pinkerton detec
tive investigating’resolution. The sub
stitute resolution recites the ailegntion
that a certain organization, known as
Pinkerton’s detectives, have been em
ployed unlawfully and to the detrim nt
of the public by railroad corporations en
gaged in the tiausportation of the United
States mails and interstate commerce and
directs the committee on judiciary to in
vestigate said Pinkerton detectives. The
committee is given the usual powers as to
summoning witnesses, etc. The resolu
tion was adopted and the house went into
committee of the whole on the sundry
civil bill.
Friday. —The house got into a tangle
over the old Sibley claim Friday, and
became so tied up that adjournment was
had early and nothing done. The dead
lock c rnsed the sundry civil bill to go
over and as a consequence the silver fight
is postponed. Speaker Crisp laid before
the house a letter from the acting secre
tary of the treasury, transmitting an es
timate of the deficiency in the appropri
ation for pensions for the current fiscal
year of SG. 674,332 and recommending
that the deficiency be supplied by reap
propriating that sum from the unexpen
ded balance of $8,834,079 remaining to
the credit of pensions for the fiscal year
of 1891.
Saturday: —After reading; of the
journal, Mr. Meredith of Virginia an
nounced the death of Senator Barbour,'
and as a mark of respect the house ad
joumed till Monday.
Monday.—The house spent nearly the
entire day Monday in discussing silver
indirectly. The anti silver men had
heard of the contemplated effort to
amend the sundry civil bill so as to pro
vide not only for the recoining of uncur
rent minor coins now in the treasury, but
also for the coinage of $100,000,000 worth
of silver bullion there. It has been stated
that the proposed amendment had been
shrewdly drawn with a view to prevent
ing its being ruled out on a point of or
der. Tracev, of New York, sounded the
nhtfJß #nd for a time ihcr,e was a very
pretty little scramble, lie saw that if it
was in order to provide for the recoining
of uncurrent coins, it was also in order
to provide for coining the bullion on
hand. He was, therefore, for striking
out the whole business. 'Hie was
in committee of the whole, with Lester,
of Georgia, in the chair. The house ad
journed without the chair giviug any de
cision. Mr. L ster questioned members
on the floor pretty freely, in order that
all that bore upon the question might be
brought out.
Tuesday. —Even the pro-pect of a sil
ver skirmish if not a battle during the
day did not have the effect of bringing a
large attendance to the house Tuesday
morning and there were not 100 members
present at the hour of noon. The
journal having been read, Walker, of
Masscchusetts, objected to its approval.
He did so for the reason that the resolu
tion to expunge certain remarks of his
from the record was a special order for
Monday but was not called up. He
•wished to have the matter disposed of
and not hanging over his head during the
remainder of the session, to be acted up
on possibly in the closing hours. McMil
in, of Tennessee, moved that the journal
be approved, and on this motion de
manded the previous question. As the
democrats could not muster a quorum,
the yeas and nays were ordered. Before
the conclusion of the roll call, however,
Walker withdrew his objection.
The call as far as it had pro
ceeded, was eliminated from the
record and the journal was approved.
Messrs. Cogswell, Bingham and Ding
ley made a number of earnest but unsuc
cessful attempts to increase the appro
priatious for the care, lighting and heat
ing of public buildings. They contend
ed that the sums appropriated by the bill
were inadequate and that the cuts made
by the committee would impair the pub
lic service. Messrs. Holman and Sayers
denied the correctness of this,and argued
that the sums given were sufficiently
large. Mr. Moses, of Georgia, ia speak
ing to a verbal amendment replied
to some charges made against h:m
Monday by Mr. Simpson, of Kan
ras, to the effect that he had voted for
the improvement of the Savautah harbor
because he chose to vote $2,500,000 to
the Richmond and Danviile Railroad
Company. Mr. Simpson said that the
gentleman had called Ibim a free lance
and had stated that when he saw a head
he hit it. He had merely pointed out
the Inconsistency of the gentleman in ob
jecting to 6mall appropriations for the
Smithsonian institution and voting to
appropriate $2,5C0,000 for the Savannah
harbor, when there was an excellent har
bor at Port Royal. Messrs. Otis of Kan
sas, Wilson of Washington, Bowers of
California, and Snodgrass of Tennessee,
engaged in a noisy controversy as to
whether or not the law was efficiently
executed. Messrs. Bowers and Snod
grass indulged in a harmless war of
words which created considerable merri
ment. Without disposing of the bill the
house weDt into committee of the whole
on the sundry civil bill.
THE SENATE.
Thursday. —Among the bills intro
duced and referred in the senate were
\
the following: By Mr. Dawes, author
izing the president to proclaim a general
holiday comemorating the 400th anni
versary of the discovery of America.
October 12, 1892. By Mr. Hiscock, to
encourage Amercan ship building ex
tending to the steamship “China” (of
the Pacific Mail Steamship line) the
same privileges as has been ex
tended to the City of Paris and the City
of New York. Mr. Call, of Florida, of
fered a resolution (which went over with
out action) for the appointment of a joint
comraitice of the two houses to inquire
into the condition of Cuba and the islands
known as Greater Antilles, or Windward
or Caribbean islands, and their commer
cial and political relations with the
United States, and to report such legisla
tion as may be expedient and necessary
to improve the commercial and po'itical
relations of the people of the United
States and those islands.
Friday. —ln the senate the river aud
harbor bill was reported back from the
committee on commerce, with amend
ments aud with report (as required In
the resolution of the senate) on each item
ir the bill. Mr. Frye, the chairman of
that committee stated that the bill was
one for two years and that no river and
harbor bills would be reported from that
committee the next session. He gave no
tice that on Tuesday he would ask the
senate to proceed with its consideration.
Asa result of much preliminary work,
while the river and harbor bill was pend
ing in the house the senate committee on
commerce was able during the day to re
port the biit back to the senate with all the
amendments which it regards as necessary.
It has increased the total of the house bill
by $1,981,143 and made decreases to the
amount of $858,000, making a net in
crease of $1,123,143, and the total of
the appropriation made by the bill im
provement of river was $250,000. There
was a general reduction of all the appro
priations in cases where contracts were
authorized to be made for the comple
tion of work. There is a long list of
items of increase and some new appro
priations, ranging in amount from five
hundred dollars to a quarter of a million.
Among larger new item is one of $200,-
000 for Lake Washington canal, Wash
ington, and $250,000 for the Dalles
boat railway, Oregon. Among
the principal items of increase in
thesourtbern states are as follows: Cum
berland Sound, Geor<zia, $7,500; Cape
Fear river, N. C., $100,000; Roanoke
river, N. C., $35,000: Black river, N. C.,
$10,000; Indian river. Fla., (new appro
priation) $25,000. Appropriations made
by the house were decreased by the fol
lowing amounts: Charleston, S. C.,
$100,000; Savannah, Ga., $125,000;
Rappahanqock._Va.. SIO,OOO.
Monday. —For the second time within
less than six months, the United States
senate was called upon Monday morning
to mourn the loss of one of its
members, and to pay a last tribute of
respect to the memory of the late Senator
John S. Barbour, of Virginia. About
an hour before noon, the remains of the
deceased senator were brought to the
capitol from his home near by. The
body was enclosed in a black cloth-cov
ered casket devoid of silver ornaments
save a plain silver plate, bearing the fol
lowing inscription: “John S: Barbour,
Born December 20th, 1820, Died
May 14th, 1892.” The chamber was
arranged for the ceremonies in
the usual manner, seats being
arranged for the cabinet, the supreme
court, the house of representatives, the
general commanding the army, the diplo
matic corps, the senior admiral of the
navy and the commissioner of the Dis
trict of Columbia. The dead senator’s
chair was draped in black. The chap
lain’s opening prayer had only one direct
allusion to the occasion—a rendering of
thanks “for the true and faithful life
spared so long.” Immediately after the
journal of Friday last was read, Mr.
Kenna rose, and in the absence of Mr.
Daniel, of Virginia (absent on account
of sickness), announced in feeling re
marks the death of Senator Barbour.
Mr. Kenna closed by offering the usual
resolutions of sorrow and respect and for
the appointment of a committee to accom
pany the remains to their final resting
place at Poplar Hill. The lesolutions
were adopted and the following senators
appointed as the committee: Daniel,
Kenna, Gorman, Walthall, Carlisle,
Stewart, McMillin, Cullum and Wash
hum. The senate then took a recess till
12:30. When the senate reconvened
crowds had filled all the galleries ex
cept the diplomatic gallery. At five
minutes before one, Captain Bassett, the
ancient doorkeeper, announced the ar
rival of the speaker and the house of
representatives, and the members of that
body, headed bv Speaker Crisp and Clerk
Kerr, entered the senate chamber and
took places assigned them on the demo
cratic side of the chamber. Next came
the chief justice and justices of the
supreme court. The members of the
cabinet, headed by Secretaries Blaine
and Foster, next entered and took
the chairs reserved for them, Presi
dent Harrison himself being absent from
the city. The cabinet' was followed by
the diplomatic corps, the members of
which took seats behind the justices of
the supreme court. Then some members
of the family of the dead senator —three
ladies and three gentlemen, in deep
mourning—came in and took their seats.
Last of all came the coffin, borne by cap
itol policemen and preceded by members
of the committee of the two houses wear
ing white scarfs. Although the dead
senator was not a professed member of
any church or denomination, his wife had
been a Catholic, and the religions cere
monies were conducted at the re
quest of the family, by Bishop Keane,
rector of Catholic university. This was
the first occasion in the memory of the
oldest officers of the senate, when Cath
olic clergy officiated in such a manner in
the senate.
Tuesday.— ln the senate, Tuesday,
Mr. Chandler introduced a bill to au-
TRENTON, GA. FRIDAY, MAY 20,1892.
thorize the registration of certain steam
ships of the United States, and it was
referred to the committee -on commerce.
It is a bill to grant American registry to
vessels of the proposed “American Steam
ship Company,'’ yet to be organized,
upon conditions similar to those under
which American reg stry was given to
the two steamers of the Inman hue.
The naval appropriation bill was taken
up, the pending question being the pro
vision for an increase of the navy. The
house bill provided for one armored
cruiser of about 8,000 tons displacement,
to cost, exclusive of armament, not less
than $3,500,000, and the senate amend
ment provides, in addition, for one sea
going coast line battle ship of about
9,000 tons displacement, to cost not over
$4,000,000; also for one harbor defense,
double turret ship of the monitor type,
with a displacement of about 7,500 tons,
to cost not over $3,000,000; four light
draft gunboats and six torpedo boats.
The discussion occupied the whole of the
day’s session without a vote being had .
NOTES.
The senate committee on civil service
favors the dismissal of all employes who
are not naturalized.
The president, on Thursday, nominated
to be postmaster Benjamin J. Carter, Ce
dartown, Ga., and Franklin McC. Brown,
Brunswick, Ga.
Mr. Justice Harlan, of the United States
supreme court, and Hon. John Morgan,
United States senator from Alabama,
have been elected by the president ns
arbitrators on the part of the United
States in the Behring sea arbitration.
Payments of the sugar bounty under
the McKinley act on account of the pro
dnetion for the present fiscal year haye
been practically completed. The bounty
amounts to $400,000. The amount esti
mated for the ensuing fiscal year is $50,-
000,000.
SENATOR BARBOUR DEAD.
His Demise Sudden and Unexpected.
And a Great Shock to His Friends.
Without any apparent suffering, and
after a brief illness of only’teu minutes,
Senator John S. Barbour, Virginia’s ju
nior representative in the United States
senate, passed quietly away at his resi
dence in Washington city at a little after
6 o’clock Saturday morning.
His death was very unexpected, and a
great shock to those who knew him, as
he had been always regarded as a man of
strong and vigorous constitution, aud
had been uniformly well and energetic
for a person of his age. The only per
sons present at his bedside when he died
were his sister-imlaw. Miss Dungerfiel- ;
Cot. Shepard, of Virginia, aguestaFfne
house, and the domestics. The doctor
who had been hastily summoned when
the senator first aroused the household
and told them of his illness, arrived
just after his dissolution. The senator
retired early Friday night as well as u-ual,
and a few minutes after 6 o’clock Satur
day morning he sank back on his bed
without uttering a word from the time
he first complained of feeling ill. His
death was his physician to have
beeu due to heart failure.
MESSAGES OF CONDOLENCE.
Tbere was a large number of sympa
thizing callers at the residence of the late
Senator Barbour Sunday, who came with
tributes of respect and affection for the
dead Virginian. Messages of condolence
were received from every section the
state of Virginia. Eafly in the morning
Vice President Morton to tqpder
his sympathy on the death of the honored
member of the body over which he pre
sides. Justice Field of the supreme
court, and Senator Kenna, of West Vir
ginia, were also at the house. A majori
ty of those persons who came, however,
were Virginians, many of Senator Bar
bour’s fellow-townsmen, from Alexan
dria, as well as prominent men of other
parts of the state and from Baltimore.
The vice president received from Secre
tary Halford a message expressing Pres
ident Harrison’s regret at being unable to
attend the funeral exercises. (
There was a largely-attended meeting
of the Virginia democratic association
during the morning at the Metropolitan
hotel to take suitable action on the death
of Senator Barbour. H. Briscoe presid
ed, with R. N. Harper as secretary.
Among those persons in the room were
Judge Keith, of the circuit court of Vir
ginia, Hon. Frank Hume, L. Q. Wash
ington, E. Meredith, R.
C. Glasscock and Captain J. A. Jones.
Speeches were made by Messrs. Wash
ington, Hume and others, and suitable
resolutions weye adopted.
A DISMAL FAILURE
Is What the Olcott Plan Has Turned
Out to He.
A New York telegram of Monday says:
After a session lasting three hours the
Richmond Terminal reorganization com
mittee formally announced that the plan
proposed by them was a failure, and they
declared it inoperative. One of the com
mittee, in speaking of the action, says:
t‘The attempt has resulted in a complete
failure, and no modifications or actions
can be looked for. If any further at
tempt is made to reorganize it wiil be
entirely on new terms and with anew
Committee. The present committee will
remain in existence in order to take care
of the securities deposited under the
plans.”
Work of Train Robbers.
A San Antonia, Texas, dispatch of
Saturday, says; Passengers arriving on
the International train report that it was
fired on just as it was about to stop for
water at a tank near Temple by robbers.
The engineer did not stop, but threw the
lever open, put on all the steam possible
and got away, but the express car was
badly riddled. Two of the passengers
were wounded.
THE SOUTH IN BRIEF
The hews of Her Progress Portrayed In
Pilhy and Pointed Paragraphs
AND A COMPLETE EPITOME OF HAPPEN
INGS OF GENERAL INTEREST FROM DAY
TO DAY WITHIN HER BORDERS.
A Baton Rouge, La., dispatch says:
Governor Foster was inaugurated Mou
day with the usual ceremouies. His
inaugural nddnss is full of hope and
promise.
A terrible tornado passed near Elm
wood, Neb., Tuesday night. Cook’s
residence was torn to pieces and four per
sons hurt. It is feared that many wera
killed in the country districts.
Fire at the Edgewater stock farm near
Cynthiana, Ky., Sunday, destroyed three
barns owned by T. M. McGibboo. A
number of very valuable race hprses per
ished in the flames. Loss, $20,000.
The office of The Evening Democrat at
Greenville, S. C., was levied on Tuesday
afternoon. The paper was nearly ready
to go to press, and the constable took
the form to the office of Trial Justici
Davis, and in consequence of which no
paper was issued.
A. A. James, agent at Ellaville, Fla.,
of the Florida Central and Peninsula rail
road and Southern Expre c s Company, al
so Western Union telegraph operator,
skipped Sunday with a $3,000 express
package belonging to Drew & Bucki, a
lumber firm whose mills are two miles
from Ellaville.
A dispatch of Monday from Nortou,
Wise county, Va., says that Ira Mulle is,
a lawless character, while driving across
Pond Gaff from court in Letcher county,
Ky., was fired upon from ambush. He
was accompanied by his wife, brother-in
law, child and driver of his wagon, all ol
whom with himself were killed.
A New Orleans dispatch states that on
Tuesday morning Gypsy crevasse ha 1
widened out to such an extent that all
hope of closing it was abandoned. The
water is sweeping over plantations to
within a few miles of Kenner. About
eight miles of the Mississippi Valley
railroad track have been covered an t
tr.ifiic over the submerged portion is
abandoned.
Fire in Jacksonville, Fla., Sunday
morning destroyed eleven residences aud
two stores, one drug store and one gro
cery. The area burned is on the south
side of West Adams street, . between
Second and Third streets, and extends
south Dearly to FVrsyth street. The
1 buildings were mostly inexpensive wood
en structures, and burned like a tinder
box. The total loss is about twelv
thousand dollais; insure ee only $2,500.
That portion c ' he Chajfeston, Cin
cinnati andXlhicsgo railrogj which lies
in TeunessiJ, seventy-five wts sold
a few days ago at Johnson City to satisfy
a debt. It was by Smuel Hum
for the stf%kholders for $200,000. The
constructi* cost $200,000, and work be
gan in 1889. The contrac tors, Macdonald,
Shea & Cos., had a debt of $140,000
against it. The work which has been
suspended for so long will now be re
sumed. The bid of $200,000 is not final
a it will be held open until July.
The next annual the Army
of the Cumberland, at Chickamauga,
been finally fixed for September 15th
and 16(L. It will thus take place, the
week before the Grand Army encamp
ment at Washington, instead of the week
after as first planned. General Rose
crans, president of the Society of the
Army of the Cumberland, has informa
tion indicating a large gathering on the
battlefield to inspect the work of estab
lishing a national park which is now
progressing with great rapidity.
A Jacksonville dispatch of Sunday
says: A revolution in marketing the
Florida orange crop will be made the
coming season, when two fast steamships
with a capacity of 25,000 boxes each will
be placed en route between Jacksonville
and Liverpool. These vessels have re
cently been engaged ir. carrying oranges
from Spanish ports to these of the United
Kingdom, and have landed their cargoes
in better condition than any other ships.
There are fitted with immense “fore and
aft” ventilation pipes which carry cur
rents of fresh air constantly through the
holds. The first ship will reach Jackz(
sonville about October 20th, and will
make the run in about thirteen days.
A COW CASE
Is Passed Upon by the United States
Supreme Court.
A Washington dispatch says; The
“three heifers and a cow” belong to Mrs
Eliza J. Scruggs, and are not subject tc
be levied on for the debts of the husband
of Mrs. Scruggs. So, in effect, decided
the United States supreme court in an
opinion by Justice Harlan, affirming the
decision of the supreme court of the
state of Tennessee in favor of Thomas
Kilgore, against whom, as next friend
of Mrs. Scruggs, Alien Baker brought
suit. The ease had gone through all the
state courts and attracted fairly wide
spread attention, owing to the persist
ency with which each side has fought.
It arose out of the passage, by the state
of Tennessee, of an act declaring that a
woman’s property shall not be held for
her husband’s debts unless she consents.
Mrs. Davis will be Pensioned,
A New Orleans telegram of Monday
states that General J, B. Gordon, presi
dent of the Mnited Confederate Veteraans,
has appointed a committee of nineteen,
one from each of the southern states, to
present a memorial and petition before
the legislature of each of the states, ask
ing them to vote a life pension to the
widow of Jefferson Davis.
BUSINESS OUTLOOK.
Dun b Co.’ Review of Trade for the
Past Week.
R. G. Dun & Co.’s review of trade
week ending May 13 says: Business fail
ure* occurring throughout the country
during the last seven days, as reported to
R. G. Dun & Cos., number for the United
States 150 and for Canada 25, or a total
of 175. For the corresponding week of last
year the figures were 237, representing 214
in the United States and 23 in the Do
minion of Canada. The continuance of
very unfavorable weather throughout
a large part of the west begins to cause
apprehension regarding the crops of
the year. As business of all kinds
depends largely upon agricultural
prosperity), halting is natural when, in
addition to a decrease in sales and col
lections, which the bad weather immedi
ately causes, there is a fear that the
farmers in several important states may
meet misfortune. In all other respects,
the situation appears satisfactory, and at
most points the prospects for trade are
considered more hopeful, so that a short
period of good weather would speedily
change the temper of business. Actual
distribution has gong on very fairly, with
less diminution on account of storms
than might have been expected.
The money markets are everywhere
easy, with a visible improvement in the
demand at a few points. The labor dis
turbances, which recur at this season,
though unusually numerous, do not yet
embrace a great number of men nor seem
likely to be prolonged.
The south has little to report nt this
season, though Savannah finds the out
look improved by the recent rains.
Business is light at Montgomery, quiet
at Little Rock and Memphis, and only
moderate at New Orleans, with sugar in
fair demand and rice active.
INCREASE IN EXPORTS.
Foreign trade in April was remarkable.
The sports of cotton, pro
visions, cattle and oil amounted to $54,-
240,077 against $47,665,223 for the same
month last year, with a large decrease in
cotton because of lower prices, but a
heavy increase in breadstuffs and oaltle.
This month’s exports from New York
show a gain of twenty-three per cent
thus far over last year meanwhile the
imports of last year are barely main
tained.
Reports about collections from all parts
of the country are favorable considering
the wheather and the state of country
roads. Wheat has declined 2i cents on
sales of 49,000,000 bushels; instead of
$2 per bushel, predicted by the Farmers’
Alliance, the price on Thursday was 894
cents. Receipts far week have been
comparatively small, but exports thus
far quite large.
Cotton has declined a sixteenth with
sales at 447,000 bales, receipts and ex
ports both being close to last year’s for
the week. The government report shows
that sensational accounts of a decrease in
aoreage has been, to say the least, some
what exaggerated. Corn rose a cent and
pork products were slightly stronger, bul
coffee and oil both declined. In the iroi
trade the decrease of 7,576 tons in the
weekly output in April has improved the
demand and stocks unsold seem to be no
longer increasing, though prices gain
nothing and are so low as to be trying to
many producers.
OF INTEREST TO GROCERS.
Litigation Over a Combine and the
Yerdict of a Jury Thereon.
A case of much importance to the
grocery trade was decided in the circuit
court at Nashville, Thursday. This was
the suit of W. C. Collier, a large retail
fancy grocer, against F. O. Morris and
others, composing the Wholesale Grocers'
Association, for $25,000 damages. Col
lier’s complaint wa3 that the wholesale
grocers had formed a combination to
control trade, and that he was forced to
buy through local grocers because of an
agreement of the members of the associ
ation that they would not buy from any
manufacturer or dealer who sold to the
retail trade, and that this caused the
manufacturers to refuse to sell to him.
He placed his damages at $25,000.
Judge McAllister iustruoted the jury that
the combination of 1883 and 1890 was
unauthorized and illegal, for the reason
that its tendency was to restrain iojuri-
# sly the legitimate trade and commerce
the country; that if the plaintiff, Col
lier, had sustained actual damages in his
business as a consequence of the combina
tion,be was entitled to recover. But the
jury was instructed that the plaintiff
was not entitled to recover simply be
cause this combination was made. The
foundation or gravamen of the plaintiff’s
suit was the aotual and special damages
resulting for him. That, if the jury
should find, from the evidence, that no
actual damages had been sustained by the
plaintiff, he could not recover, notwith
standing the combination. The jury was
not satisfied that there had been any ac
tual damages, and brought in a verdict
for defendants. Another suit is in court
to break up the alleged trust.
A WAYWARD SHERIFF
Returns to the Scenes of Hts Former
Misdeeds.
About fifteen mouths ago W. J. Cow
art. sheriff of Marion county. Mbs., who
gained national notoriety by officiating
at the Sullivan-Kilrain fight at Richburg
in July. 1890,suddeniy disappeared with
about $1,900 of the county’s funds.
News reached New Orleans Sunday night
toat Cowart had turned up in Purvis,
Miss. He explains his absenoe by saying
that he was robbed and abducted and
taken to Monterey before he knew what
was b ing done with him. Was left
penniless and started to walk home, a
distance of 1,500 miles, which he covered
in three months.
The Hoary Head.
Ah, calm old age, come to me soon
With all thy rest and sweet content,
When out of fervid glare of ncou
Peace grows with evening’s shadows
blent!
What promise of the mourning day.
When flames the east with lurid red,
Is like the twilight’s blessed gray
In halo round the hoary head ?
Ah, calm of soul and strong of heart.
Whose age Is youth in duty done,
May we at noon so play our part,
As thou at setting of thy suu.
I would my life as thine were spent.
That I when evening comes, heaven sped
Might find my years, as thine are, blent
In halo round the hoary head.
[St. Louis Kepi.b ic.
HUMOROUS.
High water —The source of profit
on milk.
It ia a rapid musician who can beat
time by several seconds.
Some talk is made with the hark on
it and other talk has the bark in it.
The book that makes the greatest
stir in society is the well tilled pocket
book.
You can get somebody to mind the
baby, but generally you can’t get the
baby to mind anybody.
When the old gentleman of ninety
proposes to the old lady of eighty-five
it ia the “court” of final resort.
Sorricus —A widow usually has a
hard row to hoe. Fumiicus—That is
ou account of her weeds, of course.
The dress coat may be the proper
thing for a prosaical wedding, but for
an elopement there is nothing like a
cutaway.
Carrie —What would you do the
first thiug if you were a woman,
George? George—Wish I was a man,
l suppose.
With guns that “weren’t loaded” ’round,
And microbes never sated,
It is a wonder that the world
Is not depopulated.
Miss Yellowleaf—This new bonnet
just matches my complexion. It cost
seventy-five. Mwn €Njrique—What
the complexion?
If everything would continue to
look as attractive as it does in the
shop window, there weald be uo more
pessimists in this world.
Noddy—There goes Waitman, kit
ing along like a deer; I wonder if he
is training for & run? Oddie—No;
on the contrary ho is running for a
train.
She is as fair as mortals are,
But still she'll never do for me,
Because in conversation oft
I hear her interjecting “See?”
Inspector—What is your idea of a
model tenement house for the poor?
Capitalist—One that will pay its
owner thirty-five per cent, on his in
vestment.
One of the peculiar facts about hu
man nature 4s that after a man has
lost everything he has himself he be
gins to feel competent to give his
friends sure tips.
Wife —I used to enjoy those little
dinners so much we had before we
were marripd. ilusbaud —I’m not
surprised they seemed nice after the
ones you give me now.
“Father,” she said, “don’t you
think we need some new gas burners?”
“No,” he answered positively. “That
young man that comes to see you
every evening is a gas-burner that’s
enough and to spare.”
“Your daughter is a very substan
tial girl,” said the proprietress of the
youug ladies’ school. “She has no
liking for what is light or frivolous.”
“It seems so,” replied her mother, re
gretfully. “Even her bread is heavy.”
Let your ideal be a high one. By
following the directions of the cook
book you may not produce a cake as
light as thistledown, as therein prom
ised, but you will doubtless eucceed
in getting oue of less specific gravity
than lead.
The Salvation Army Uniform.
According to Mrs. Bramwell Booth,
the salvation Army dress was devised
bit by bit. It was not in the early days
so distinctive a uniform as it is now.
The bonnet used to be small and had
white strings; but these soiled easily.
A large bonnet was found better
suited to elderly persons and those
with large faces. It also protected
the hair, which was a point to be con
sidered. The dress at one timo conld
be blue or black. Blue is now obli
gatory.—[New Yjgrk Suu.
NO. 12.