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10 THE WEEKLY CONSTITUTION: TUESDAY. MARCH 4.1884* TWELVE PAGES. I OUR ???DIXIE??? HUMuRISTS. THE FEN All) PHIMIKOPHYOF THE OLD HOME. NIGHTS WITH UNCLE REMUS.. TL "Cnlfn t'ori|.UI" To ail appearances Daddy Jack bad Dkeo no Interest la Uncle Remus'e story of the hones??? tails, and yet, as soon as tbe little boy and Annt Tempy were tbrongb laughing at a somewhat familiar climax, the old African began to twist and fidget In bis .chair, and mumble to himself in a lingo which might hare been nndentood on tbe Onlnea coast, but which sounded out of place In Uncle Re- mas's Middle Georgia cabin. Presently, how ever, his uneasiness took tangible shape. Be turned around and exclaimed impatiently: "Sbnh'Shub! w'en you sta't far tell a dem tale, wey you no tell um lak dey elan'? ???E bery bad let twia' dem tale 'roun' un ???roun'. Wey you no talk um atret???? ??????Well, Brer Jack," said Uncle Remus, smiling goodhumoredly upon the queer little oldman, "ef we done gone en got datar tale all twis' up, de way fer you ter do Is ter whirl In en ontwia' it, en weall folks ???ll set up yer en he'p you out plum twel Mars. John oomes a hollerin??? en a bawlln attar dish yer baby en alter he done gone ter bed, den me en sit Timpy yer wa ull set up wld you plum twe de chickens crow fer day. Drm's de kinder folk we all is up yer. We aint 'got many swlmpsen crabs up yer in Putmon county, but w'en it oome ter cellin' up wld comii'ny en hangln??? 'roun' alter dark ter ter make de time pass away, we er mlgnty rank. How den, Brer Jack, I none call de roll whl my eye, en we erall yer 'cepplo* dat ar 'Tlldy gil, en 'twon???t be long'fo' she'll beadrappin' in. Ran over In yo??? min', en whar mv tale 'ns wrong, dee whirl In en put 'rr ter rights." "Sbuh-sbubl??? exclaimed tbe old Afrlran, "Oona no git dem tale stret. I yeil dem wry me Ilf; 'e sonn' lak die One tam dem bitlle bln git bery skace. Da rice crop meknuitin; dafiah swim low; da bud fly high. Hard times bln come dev-dey. 'K so bard, dem creelnrs do git bonkry fer true. B'er Rabbit un B???er Wolf dey come pit bote'e head ter- gerrer; dey is mck talk bow honkry dey li way down In do belly. <-Bambye, B'er Itahblt, 'e shed 'e y-eye. 'e saydeymui??? kill dey gran???mammy. B'er Wolf says 'e rock 'e y-eye come wat'ry fei yedilv da talk lak dat. B'er Rabbit say: "*KI, B'er Wolll da water come In you' S e wun you la bin honkry. Me y-eye done n-a come wat'ry so long lam befo' 1 blu talky wit' you 'bout wegranmammy.' ??????B???er Wolf.'e der keep on cryln'; 'e wlji 'e y-eye'pon'e coat-tleef. B'er Rabbit, 'e bln say: . ??? 'Ef you Is bin lek It so ha'd lak dls, B'er Wolf, 'e bery good ferkill-a you granmammy foe, ro you It kin omm glad eg'ln.' ??????B???er Wolf, 'o g > dry '??? y.eye un kill 'e granmammy, un dry is bln tek 'lm gran- mammy oil un sell um fer blttle. Dun dey Is bln eat dls bitlle ('ay un night tell V n 1 1 done gone. Wun 1 * tam come let B'er Itsbblt fer kill 'e granmammy, ri'er Wolf, 'e go blaitin 'ini. 'Kwty: *"B'<r Itibblt, ) la bln-a feel honkry troo un troo. Urn we klll-n you' granmammy.??? "B'er Rabbit Ilf un 'e head high; 'e IsMT E* sbekky one year,'e sbed a one eye. 'K " 'Eh-eh, B'er Wolf, you link Igwan kill-a megranmnmmy? Ob, no, B'er Wolf! Me no kin do da>.' ???Dls mek B'er Wolf wuse mail den 'e Is bln befo'. Efairteer de yet' ???e claw; ???o yowl aem lak Injun mans. ???H say ???e gwan make B'er Rabbit kill ???e granmammy no how. "B'er Rabbit say 'o gwan sco' Ira 'bout dls. 'E tek 'e granmammy by da ban'; 'e lead um way nil In da wnnilr.; hide mu In da top one big cocoanut tree; 'e tell um fer stay deer." Tbe mrntlon of cocoanut tree caused tbe little boy to glance Incredulously at Uncle Renin", who made prompt and characteristic rep.lv: ??? Bat'sIt, honey; dal's It, sbo. In dem days en In dem countries dry wuz plenty er cocoanut trees. Lera we all set baok yer en giro llrer Jack a livin' Chance." ??? 'K bide 'e granmammy In top cocoanut tree," continued Daddy Jack, "an 'est' um Ully babsklt wit??? cord tie on um. In de day- mawnin'. B'er Rabbit, 'e Is bln go at da foot da tree. 'E make 'e v'lcs fine; 'e boiler: " 'Granny 1-Granny I-O Grannyl Jutta cordial' BILL ARP'S LETTER. i'erWolf! Go way fnm dey-dey. lak dta. Go way, "Wun 'e granny yeddy dls, '??? let bahaklt down wit'da cortf, un B ar Itsbblt 'e fill um wit' blttle un aomellng feat. Kbrg day dey ia bln-a do dls ting; ebry day B'er Rabbit fa come fer feed 'e granny. - j'B???er Wolf 'e watcb, ????? llasun; 'a sneak up, 'e dr,'.'u up, ????? tlo IbiUD. Biimhye, 'e do yeIdy B???er Rabbit call;'e aec da babsklt ???wing down, 'e tee am go baok. Wun U'er Rabbit bln-a go way fum dey dry, B'er Wolf, 'a coma by da root da tree. 'K holler; 'edoaayt _ '* tDnunyl ??? Grannyl ??? 0 Granny I Shoot a cord'lal' "Da ole Granny Rabbit lltsnn; 'a bln llssun W "*'KII bow coma dls? Me ton le no talky lak dla. 'Ken ahoot-a da cord lak dak' "Wen B'er Rabbit cum back da granny Is b'in-atall uni 'ooutaomrllag rnme-a boiler (huot-s da cord-la, un U'er Rabbit, 'e lahlT tell 'e la kin Jabf! no mo', B???er Wolf, 'e hid in' doae; '??? yed B'er Itibbll clackin''t Joke; 'e la sit bery inad' '-Wun lfer Rabbit Is gone wsy. Brer Wolf bln-s come beck. 'E elan' by da tree root; 'e boiler: ?????? 'Granny! ??? Granny! ??? 0 Granny! Jutta oonMa!' "Granny Rabbit hoi' 'e bead 'pon ona aide; e linun good 'Ksay: .... . , " T bery aorry, me son, you bln hab so bad col'. You' v'ice hiu a eoun' rough, me aon.' "Dun Granny Rabbit la bin peep down bin ssy; ?????????HUB' Yon no is bin fool-a ms B'er Woffl??? "Urr Wolf,'e borne bery mad; 'a grin tell ???a tush binsbiun. 'Ego In da twamp; 'a icratch 'e bead; 'e fink. Uumbye, e go blaitin??? one U-acksmlf, un 'e ahx 'lm how kin 'e do fer make *e v'ice come fine lak U'sr Rabbit v'ice. I)< Blacksmlf, 'e aay: ??? 'Come, B???er Wolf; I run dls red-hot poker in vnu' float, 'e mekay y??u talk ea-y.' "B'er Wolf aay, 'Wall, 1 lak you for mekky me v'ice uie??? ???Dun da Ulacksraif ran da red-hot poker in It er Wolt t'roat, un 'a liu???t tint 10 bad, 'lira-* bidelong tam' bafo' B'er Wolf kin tek- kj da loDg walk by da cocoanut tree. Uum bye 'e gtt to 'e kin oome by, un wun 'o git dey dey. 'e bnl er. ??? ??????Granny!???Granny !-0 Granny! Jutta cord-la!??? ' Da v'ice eoun' en nice tin tine da' Granny lltbell ia bin fink 'e B'er Utboit v???ice, an ????? la bin-a let da babaklt iloou. B'er Wolf, 'e ahekky da cord lak 'e la put some blttle in da bab-klt, un dun 'e Is bln-a git in 'eae'f. B'rr Wolf, 'e k**p still. Ds Granny Ksbbit puli "i da cord; e do aay: ?????? 'Ki! 'aroma b.'ffr, e he???fTy fer true. Me ???on, V lave ???????? Granuy beep ??? "B???er Wolf, 'e dogrln; V grin, un 'e keep ???till. Dt Granny Rihhll pun; 'e do poll ha'd. 'E pull tell 'eta go B'er W"U mu' by da top, un dun ?????? atop fer rre'. B???er Wolf look-a down,'e bead awlm;'e look up, '????? nu.tiuf water, '??? lonk-a down 'g???ln, 'eaee U'er Rab bit 'Bgitekeer, V Juk on da rape. Bor Rabbit, 'edn holler: " ???Grannyl ???Grannyl???O Grannyl Cutta cord-lal??? "Da Granny R ibhit cut ds cord, un U'er Wolf ia fall down un broke 'e neck." Ilio "Sliycoon" lllsenaaftl-HI* EITort to Console, Etc. I reckon the elemenlo are eailtfled now and will let ns alone for a season. We've got nothing to complain of at my bouse and much to be grateful for, nevertheless one of my props have been knocked from under, lor I've been laying and thinking for seven years tbst these bills and mountains that ???uiround us were like fortifications igaicst storms and tempest and cyclones and simoons and tornadoes snd all those eort of tbiogs. I thought that the high peaks snd ridges broke them to pieces when they come snd we were In no danger, but the other dey we could look out of our window! and sea the ragiog balloon on Us winding way tearing things and paying no respect to houses or trees or man or beast. It lifted np tbe roof oil of Habor Munford'e nice dwelling like tbe tbi.-glta were feathers, and then took bold of bis b g two-story barn and twisted it all to piecce and then dropped tbe fragments about on nine mules end two horses and a carriage and all sorts of macblnct, and nine niggers to boot that were iujide tbe building. No, tlioee darkeye were not in. They taw the cyclone fooling round the dwelling house and they run out of tbe barn just as the sub urbs of the monster got there. "bays I, John, what did those darkeys do then ?' "Good gracious, boss, I tell you???dem nig gers juat Irow demselvts down on de groun', air, and holler "Ob, Lordy???good Lord bib mercy on a poor nigger. Nebber be a bad nigger any more, oh, Dordy???good Lordy?????? and de old slycoon pay no tention at all, but jes' lif era up and twis cm all roun and roun and tou cm ober de fence Into de red uind bole and Gim, my soul I wish you could habMtnGim, lor as he was gwine ober de fence be struck a postis dat was stickiu up, and be getbered it with both arms and held on and hollerd wus than eber, "Oh, Lordy??? oh, my good Lord. Bless de Lord, bsb mercy on a poor nigger;??? and about that time the old slycoon twis he tsiloroun and Ilf Glm's * ... hu'a iisjRfi unit hla lifilt hmkn lie came down alone and said he wanted somebody to fro np after my folks. "Why didn???t they cotne???down with von." said I. "Afraid" said he. Afraid of what?" said I. "Cyclone," ???aid he. 1 was about to ex press my indignation, ijhen he said that they had all been talking about spirits and ghosts and his wife didn???t wi.nt to be left alone and eo he left my folks uc there while he came down. It doea look like spirits and rcagna tism and cyclones are about to take this coun try and a man don???t hardly know whether it is worth while to plant a crop or not. but I reckon we will plant. We have been sow ing oats all the week as hard as we can and are still living in hope that sunshine and sea sons will continue and the earth ???give its in crease and this year be a better one than the last So mote if he. Bill Abp. BETSY HAMILTON???S LETTERS. feet way up over lie's bead and bis bolt broke and be bounced oil 1 on tbe groun and den took ac.oder bounce into tbe mud hold, and dar de consarn let hint. Aiterde slycoon gone clean away Iran up to Gnu, and says I,' Uuu,isyou dead or uo.'l Gim lyin dartu de mud liole wld nuIRn but tils bead out. Gim neber spoke nary word, and hia eyes was walled like a dead steer, a Ml MJ taya 1 agin, "1 say, Gim, Is you done gone clean dead," for you ace 1 tbougbt if Utu dead do use in my wadli.g In de tuud atter hint, and Gim be grunt and wall one eye at me and whisper ???whar Is be," "Wbar???swho,??? said I. "De Uebbll," said be. "Done gone,??? said I???"gone clran away. Git up from der ail up 1 aay.??? Gim gto a gn.au aud aay 1 cant, "???ini done dead." "Git up 1 leilyou,??? aald I, but Gim neber move. Bymeby 1 Iruw up my bauds and look down de big toad aud aay "my good Lord Auiigbly, ef oat ole aly- coon alnt a cumin right oack here.??? Neoer ,ee a dead ill, g=r come tolife like Gint. lie bounce outeu dat mud bole and start ofl' up d?? road a ruutiln and hoileriu fur quarter u( a mile. While folks come aluug aud atop Ului and look all ober him and neber find a scratch. When be got back we was all cuttin away de limbers from ull'uu de mules, aud It was a ball an hour before we could git Gim to strike ary lick. Tell you wbat boss, we Was all mlgnty bad skeered, but I neber tee a nlggeras unready for judgment as dat same tilggnr, Gim. When de old debil do git biiu - r .l.e u rumpus down in dem settlements sbore. indent tbe c.vclono take oil tbe roof of your cabin, John?" ??? ??? -Of cuurao bo did, lieu. Be take do roof cIT all along obery where bo go. Look like obery liouso bo come to be dip down and soy take your bat off, don???t yon tee mo cumin, amt you got no manuen. and sip be atrlke em and take it off blrnelf. He take de roof cl leu de colored school and offen de white school all de same. He no reapekter o( pua-ona, bless God. Tell yon, boss, wbat I link about dls old slycoon. 1 link bs nutUu but de old debil ou a scunclou. yab, yab, yah," and John cackled at bis owu ideas. Well, 1 was mighty sorry for Habor Mum- ford, for It tore him up awfully, but It left him his wife and bis [.rally littio cblldrrnaud bis good old mother unit all, and be is thank ful fur that and said lo tuo that his gratitude Wuu*d be complete l( bis shade trots bsd been left, tor be ambient replace them. It wss only a few days ego and now yon could hardly tell that the a.unit had been there. In twenty-four bourn be had 75 bands at work repairing tbe damages fur be Just called for tbo bands at tbe mints .close by and they canto, and It wus lively times there for a few days, aud uow everything Is u good or better than before. , I wish all tbe euflerera could do that way, but alas, tbtro are a buudrtd families woo have lost treasures that money could not re place???treasures of tbo heart and lioiite that will never return. What a terrible death, v erlly these cyclones teem like things ol life, or Instruments of vengeance lu the hands of tbe g als wo read about In old my thology. Alt that ancicut romance has re cords t of Ajax and Hercules aud Jupiter, or all that the Arabian Knights tell us of the genii dote not surpass tbo power and grand eur and drsolatlun ol tbs modem cyclone. It humbles us more than prayer* or preach ing. It tskw us unaware*. It t* the constant dread of tbe timid and defenseless, and now it tske* all my philosophy to keep my house hold calm and serene. 'There is the base ment," said I, ???and we could nil run dbwu ???lairs and bo beneath tbe track of the cyclone, fur it uever was known to attack a basement that was below tbe grouud, nor a cellar, nor a well.??? Mrs. Arp laid down her knitting aud said, "you ilonl suppt so lor a mum .???lit that anybody in their right tulnd wuuld go down In that basement miring a cyclone aud have all lb* timbers of tbe old bouse crash in on them???? "Why. my dear,???said I. "the Umbers of ibis bouse are old fashioned ami ???troDg. Do you know that these (Ills are 14 inches square and all framed aud drew ptuned." "Do much the worse," said she; "the heavier the timber tbe heavier It would fall on us If tb* bouse was light it might blow clean away and leave us unharmed, but these big sills you lellabout would Just be lifted up a little and dropped back in tb* buement. No, I'm not going down in the basement" "Well then there I* tbe flower pit,??? laid I. "Tbst la s good place. Thera are no timber* over that" Hi : "But uow a,o we g-.,rg to get tu the flower- { >lt,??? eaid the girl*. "Toe cyclone come* be- ore anybody Anowt it, and while we are running to the flower pit it catches u* and carries us oil." "Not only that" Hid Mr*. Arp, "but the trees are all about and they would be pulled ip by the root* and crash down on tbe flower pit and even tbe aaib frame* and tbe glue could kill us, and then there I* always bail with tb* cyclon* and that would heat us all to piece*???no I'mnot guiDg In the llowerpll." "All right," Hid I. ???We will ei??y right here in the family room and He It out. I don't think it will do anything but take the roof off??? ??? Why ?? tore Mr. Mnnford???* big strong barn all to pieces and killed hie mules" Hid ???be. "It wouldn't mind thi* house at all." "Then where are you all going.??? nid I and there was silence for a seaton. Finally Mr*. Arp uld sbe wanted to move somewhere wt.tre there were no atorma or cyclones. There Is no eucb place," nid I, ???this aide of heaven.??? Lut night my women folks stayed up at rubor Freeman's to tea and about ten o???clock ???In Time of Meetln.'" Lazy Farm, 1884.???Cliff???s desire to hear "tother part??? ol Cousin Betsy???s letter was gratified. Grandma bad thoughtfully put It In her pocket. She carefully concealed It Uotll after we had partaken of the "dainty dlabee," and drawn our chains around before the fire. When the conversation became general, aheaaid to Cliff: "Come put your band lo my pocket and aee what I have for you." That wonderfully iuexhaualnble pocket! Tbe receptacle of so mauy nlco lit tle surprises???little tokens of love and reward. It carried Cliffback to hiy "sugar plum days.' He dived deep, not Snowing what to expect and to bla surprise, (irea out Cousin Betsy's letter. ???Abl here's't'other part,'" he ex- claimed, "now we'll ha- e It; let's aee wbat ???be hu to uy about, "in Tin* o??? csztin???,??? Dnvit Cousin: Tue fourth Sunday la Uacle Hagen's day-in-course at the Cross It reds. Moat ever'bodj wants to gosome'rs on a Sun day, and a big crowd inginnerly gathers over tbar to rucetin'. Some goes jfsttoliave some place to go???"huntin' up Sunday," as Jake Lottie uld to buddy when he raot him gwine to aee Mallndy Jane Trotman. He didn't want to tell no body whar ho was a gwine. Ruddy axed him. says be: ???Wbar J ou bound for Jake7" "Oall don???t know. 'in list a bruisin'arouud buntin' up Sun* day," uya be. Some lolks goes to mealin' to Me aud be seed, and to whisper and giggle, and eome to go to sleep; and then agin than others that goes far tne p'yore gaud of tbe fi reacb!n'. Old Granmaw G -odea has got is right name, to be shots she goes to alesp some times In ineetin??? hut she bears more of tbsisrmont Ilian half of 'em thatatsjiawake all tbe time. Old man Madison allersgoeaotf to sleep while they are elogin' the fust blme, and snores with his month wide open the en durin' time of preachin', and never wakes up tel they let la on the doxology; when hn rubs bla eyes and imacki bla mouth an loud you can bur him all over the house. But be alien uya: "Wal, wal, that 'a shout tb* best sirmoatever 1 listened at.??? Old Miss Pink ney node too???they say Its bekaso she eats ao much. Old Armluty Pendergrass la the great tenor singer, and she comes out two words behind totheraon ever 1 line, anil holds on light to the last word tel she looks all around to aee If ever???body sees her. Old Jl 'ss Green and old MIsj Fretbouri dipt snuff, and whispers, and old Miss Simmons atlers man eges to git close to 'em, end puts in n word once't and a while, alcb sa; "1 my It! You don't seasn? I never het-rn tel o' the like! Well, 1 wished I may file!" etc., like It w??a all monstrous grange and bran new, when tnobbe Its nothin??? more???n abe???s beam all her life. Tho little boys whtsprr'and giggle, end sometime* git to acuniln??? over u string ora taw marvel, or a hlckery whistle. Tho big boysAcrihhtee lit the hlmo books, whittles rm the benches, and chaw tobacco mid suit on tbe Door. Old ILotbcf Jeroiniab Col- had hoen axed to preach th -day, hu*. tiae???e Hag.in mug tile tost fortu Win.x.,1, by hi*self (lie alter* does), then lor lined out another for I???ntbera toeing. Brother Cuio badnt (arly sot In good ou his sariuont tel two dogs got to fi{htiu??? over a chicken leg that one of 'em had snatched out'n little Gabs Tb??rup- ??m's hand. Old man Slmp-on le powerful lung legged, he ri2 hia font and sot np a turi- hie howl amongst 'em. He kloks out ell (he (logs ever Sunday, end Gooden's deg In got so bs. yelp* nod mows tbe minute ho secs Old Simpson ???tart towsrJ* him. Old Br, t'.ir (kilo ???pesr-d to be used to dog*, and to ba bies yellin' too???he prnche* right ou In (pise ol 'em, and old 'Bister Strung she sot in to shoutin??????she alters shout* whether Its lima tu shout or not. anil the louder she shouted that day, the louder bo preashed. This i* hla of you'uns aiut as uigo lurnt as 1 am, aud fur the benefit of them which haiot got the edifi cation that I've been blessed witn. I???ll apian- ify whet tna; part of tue (ext means wbar it tays. "thou (laggard.??? We will slpirate the worili, fust ???thou" my beloved hearers it a Greek word and means "you" ar, and ???-Hag gard,??? is a Litlnword andmrana "boy??? er, and not only hoy. but a bad boy ar. It mean* jest the kind of a hoy I was in them days ar, when I wasn???t afeard of nothin' on the face of the livin??? yatb ar. Many ia the time hretbering when I've been at school ar. In the long summer d-y?? ar, when the teach- iacmont: "My beloved brethering aud aislering, I've come out'n the pulpit brkaae r don???t mean to E treach no rrglar isirmont. 1 don't atm to nke no reglar t(Jtt. White you'uns was a siegin' of that song, these words come Into my mind: "Go to tne ant thou sluggard." Now brethering, 1 alnt shore whether them words is in the bihle or no. hut | will en deavor to tell yon all I know about the mean- in'of???em. Fitat, brethering, that part wbar It uya: 'Go to the ant.' Now, brethering, If some of you halnt got no aunt to ao to, you needn't think your uncle willao Jestu well, fur he wont, ar. If yon're In trouble don't go to no man to help you out'n it: that???s why It In pentckler uys your aunt bi-kate It tneaua a woman, ar. Now, If you halnt got no annt of your owu to go to, why you mutt go to aome good old 'oman you call aunt, and ???he will help you git out???n your trouble, ar. Brethering, right lhar, I???ll relate a little sir- cunutance. When I was a boy no big'ru that Rule boy overthar in the cornder, why 1 was the outdacloniest boy in the whole Mt- tlement, for all yon see me a preacher now. Why, I robbed all the bird'i nests I could lay hands on. I clnm the highest trees to git ???em ar. and I stole water millions, and them I didn't ileal I cat open in the patch ar, aud left the fence down brethering, ao the hogs could git in and derutate ar. 1 cut my mammy's warp thread ar, in her loom ar; I hid her spectacles ar, and wu the occuion of her a cussin' of ms about it ar, tbar by cau sing a second person to sin ar, which ia wus- rer brethering than to a cult rayielf ar. To thta day, brethering, It fetches the water to my eyes to thfnk about It ar, but I tall you brethering, In them days ar, the fotch the water from my eyet ar; but brethering and ???latering too. It wu not on account of the cas ein ar, but from the Masoned hlckry that ???ne kept for the purpoM ar. lilt was ar, on a occuion like this, bretheilng when the had flogged me tel I mu mighty nigh out???n breath ar, that these word* come into ray mindar: Goto your annt ar, ao I ran away bretberingar, and swum |aciou the creek ar, to my auntar. I went a bellowing and a ctyin' ar, and when 1 got tbar, my elotbee wu wet ar, and mnJdy with the creek water ar. I snubbed ani cried ar, and told her that l uad been but like a dog ar, and breth ering mats wny I tell you to go to your aunt ar, beksH bretnerlng she never nphelt me in none ol my devilment ar; although I wu as wet u a dog ar, aud had been beat wusaer???n a bound dog ar, aha tuck me in her honae ar; I wu a cryin' ar, and a hoileriu' ar, and aka ???tuck a ginger cake in my month ar, and tbat ???topped the cryln'ar. Then she turned lu, she did ar. aud put a par of my uncle???a pants loons on tna and one of bis coats ar. O course they wu too big for me ar, but the; made me look aotemn like ar, aud as I sot and hushed a cryln??? ar, aud eat the ginger Dike ar, uy beloved bretber.ng the sot down ???he did and told me how to do ar, my btarers ???he told me to preach ar, the tnck a holt of my hand and uid bow sence 1 wu dressed up in than clothes ar. I looked ao much Ilka th* old man that u??ed to proicb for her sent thirty year ago tu old Georgr, that the knowed [ could preach ar; ao 1 tuck her ad vice breiheriug. and you aee if It hadn't a been for uy aunt I uever would hive been a disc jars, a' to You to-day ar. I know tome ) er'd j-rk me up to wbaie ms nr, lor killin Hie* ar, ami chawin' up paper In little wads ar, and Hingin' of 'em agin the wall or???as I wu a gelneon tossy ar, he???d j-rk me up sud- deuter. end wltn every lick he'd fetch ar, he???d call me n ??? sluggard??? or, and tiuts why my belorad bretheilng, 1 larnt so yearly in life the meanin' of the word ar. Now n-y brethering snd tittering. I've tried to letl you tbe true meanin' of the text; I've tuck it up and showed it to you, what each port meant ???r; so now you understand wbat le meant by "go to tbe ant??? and you also understand ??h t la meant by ???thou sluggard." Nowin too- ???Itinl.in rpv hrc*hpr??r*y. ??>nu r???n??f If nIJ- together, and take the advice of the text, tbe whole text or; "Goto the ant than slug gard,??? which menus, go to your aunt you boy, or lu other words, you baa boy ar, and you must not give up and git down-hearted when you git in trouble ar, fur look at me ar, I fol- lowtd tbe words of tbe text tr, I went to my aunt ar, and if it hadn't a been for my aunt ar, I???d a never been the preacher you see me to-day ar. Finally brethenng aud slatering, all of you tbat feels that you???ve been benefited by wbat yon're hesrn to day nr, make it known by givin??? me your right hand tr, and, all them whet's bardeueil ???gin It I leave ???em to tber own reflections ar. **??? ???*??????????? Most ever* body went np and gin him tber right hand, and some of ???em cried tarrible. We???uns rid critter back tbar that day???me and Celedony and Mallndy Jane;and weall ketched a beau a piece gwine back. I and Iky Roberson rid together; Cap Dewberry, he rid longer Caledouy, be axed me for my company but Iky wu ahead of him, and Jexe Loltls be rid with Mallndy Jane, and when we g it out lu the ldg road, Land Iky was be hind tothers and Cap be hollered back, "Less sll race;??? Iky be lowed, ???Waal," and gin me tho hint lo let ???em race if they wu a mind to bnt we wouldn't. We???nns taken our time and rid slow; Iky oilers wants plenty of time ???hen he is long???cr me. No more at the pres ent, Yourn, A GROUP OF P??ERS. SOME OF THE ARISTOCRATIC BAR' NACLES OF ENGLAND. Member* of tbo Houee of Lords Who sro Neither Orasmenui Nor Usefal-Cbsrseterlstleo Orest English Ltndbolderc-Blcbmond, B saford, Bedford, and Others. THE PERLESS LBB. Tho Programme ??r tbo r??rrliln* ot th# Btotne of Kolirrt E. Lrr. NkwOulkahs, Fobmsrjr 2L???Tho anniversary of tbo blrtbdajrof tbe ???Tether of His Country" by been an eventful one In tbe cresent city, tbe city of Itcx and of Homus. Thoninvelllns of the statue of General Lee. at Lee Circle, St. Charles street took place to*day, Ths ceremonies were Interrupted by a rain storm. Tbe Detroit Light Infantry ar rived In time to take part. New Orleans has now fonrsplondid monuments???tbe Jsckion, tbe Clay, the Franklin and the Lee?????nd Is sooi to have the firth, tbe "Margaret." Tho Leo monument towers above all others, and standi In St. Charlos street, about seven squares from the Clay statue which is In Canal street, at the foot of St. Charles street, bat the two are not vlniele from each other, owing to a deflect at 8t. Charles hotel. The Frank lin statue stands in Lafayette square, between these two. Tho Jackson statue Is near Clay. The Marg&ret is in honor of a benevolent old lady, onco a resident of the city. Tno cere mony was opened with prayer by Rev. B. M, Palmer, of tbe Presbyterian church. It wav char* sc ter is! leal ly able and appropriate. Mr. H. F. Roquler, of the Dally Picayune staff, delivered the following poem in a vivid style, and it received marked applause. LBE. Rear aloft tbe solid column???. Hear It high that men may see Tw ifci Taftam lioaot vatoi?????? How the brave remember Leo. of tho whit* enduring stone, Where hfs form may linger, teaching In dumb msjssty alone. Never braver spirit battled, Never grander soldiers hone Than this victor???var qabhed only When hi- hosts were overborne. Give him greeting while ho rises On this monument to>dsy As the warnur who led armies To the enemy's dismay. As tbe hero thrice oncompaved??? Thrice outnumbered by tho foe??? Who. with all the odds sgaiu&t him Still routed overthrow. He the leader of the legions??? lie. the cblcft-tln of the brave??? He. the model man and Christian, ^ let plug where the willows wave??? Shall be numbered with th** noblest God anoint us In this moment Of memorial for tbo dtad??? For the once contending armies Now united o Yet Lea.??? For the Blue and Gray together Tbat so bravely fought and ft 11, \Vn??*u the North and South divined - Paced the dishing tiatue of hell. They are looking from tbo heavens On this hallowed scene t.ulsy, And the pipes of pi*ac3 are playing To their *pir(u??? geullo sway. Whl Jo wo rear the solid column, Rear it high that men may ecu How the valiant houor valor??? Uow tho bravo remember Lee. non. C. E. Fenner, a justice of the Louisiana su- premecourt, dtllverod the oration. Judge Fenner .??** a couf>.*??i?????r*ic m??idler, ami commanded a sre ton of the Washington anlllery???Kenner s Battery He poetesses tine oratorical powers, and deeply implored tbe vast audience. The oration 1?? loo migthy for uowspaper liuerilon, being at leant leu cnlums long. The staruo was then delivered to the city by chairman J U. McConnell, of the Mo?? umenial association, aud wasaccep'ed by Mayor W. i Behan, i???he statue was now unvatud amidst tne greatest enthusiasm, and a salute was Bred by toe ???Vaafiihgton artillery, under Captain Eugene May* Right Rev Bishop UaUther, likewise ??? confeu- raio soldier, ail to General Buckner, pro itmuerd the benediction The orchea ra, ted by Profeesaor Moses, played s farewell, and the ??? hrong dispersed. The dt play of the military was me finest seen here fur a long time, the mulls, local cnmnanle*. regulars aad ma.tnuttskiug part, t be people of NewOrl*??n?? acquitted themielTes nobly in the memorable efiort rom tne Aioany, oa*. News. . , , Mr. E U Harucs o??s icaaed the Hines place. Just onutde the city limits, and established thereoua dii??y fsrmaud beoery. Ho has twelve or flltessi good milch cows and about fifty hens trtou??iy engaged In their wpccilre Hoes of buaJuecs. Besidra furnishing: tae Bfttues house with all the milk that l* wanted by tbe guests of that popular hattelry, he has fro?? five to un callous tor market every day. Hekreps bis cows up alt the time, and they and milked by Mr. Juhn Abbott end bU wife, who Uve on tbe place. With v the splendid pasturage tbat be will bate for bis (Mill. soon as the season advances a littlefAttber. Nr.BmicsMill??<x?? bj agjjL*??5,*5* hU deity farm not only utt-mmoBl'X. KKEK2L ble. dr Abbott d liver, mils lo an, iioonUty toco*- turners la *ny psrtoi thu ri-.y ??v*ry .(?????????W'r.JK' B.re*. Drupau* to brerd JMq CAtU. oo bf. fArm. ud by net,ware to *a adrartJumjnt ta.noihfr column. It will bo Men tbat he bu putcbOMd horn Mr. R. W. Miller, of Lebauon, teuu-, a.fln* Jeney bull. We hi-e tSeu Wd a rood .tory of a dairyman'. vayadiappljlPf Jersey batter for Atlanta. A fentiemsa well known la Fulton reuniy, hu a Mid of Jeney cow*, and tbe r*??o fur hi, Jeney bairn Dioarul that he hu order* lor all hectu ropply *?? forty cent, a pound. To meat tbt, Ur*, demean, this gentlemen wonldbay up all the bat ter 0??coaid from hie neighbor*nod work Rover, ud%SnuS eow" bu ter went like bot eek- lor the genuine Jeruv orUele. ft? From tbs San Francisco Chronicle. Tbe extreme radicals in this country (Eng- loud) are ungulue enough to believe that tbe day i, not far distant when all the mis chievous anomalies of the British constiiu tion, including that ot a hereditary legisla ture, will most usuredly be swept sway into well merited oblivion. True it is that tbe bouse of lords bu been for year* put little less than a constitutional fiction; but even os recently as the lut session legislation was more than ever delayed by the mischievous action of the hereditary peers a: effecting bills parsed by the com mons. The burning domestic ques tion of tbe boar Is just now tbe vexed prob lem u to bow tbe outcast poor of London are to be boused and bow tbe property holders who own tboustuds of wretched tenement bouses ia London, for the occupancy of which they demand and obtain extortionate rentals from working men and women, are to be brought to book and compelled tore- build their wretched shaatie, an-l to relet to tbe poor a fair rental. It is feared that tbe house of lords will prove a stumbling block to tbe much needed legislation in this matter, which, it ie understood, will be undertaken by parliament during tbe coming session. The noble dukes, earls, viscounts and barons, who sit in the upper bouse, whose ancestors in the oast acquired millions of acres of laud they own by spoilage, frond and chicanery, or os gif's from the dissolute monarch* from whose mistress'* so many of them are de scended, are not likely to favor any measure that tends to limit the arbitrary rights of property holders. THE CSClM OF TR* ARISTOCRACY. There uro in all 29) uuketioms in tbe British peerage, without including those princes of the blood royal who tank us dukes end theirgraces of Cambridge and Cumber land. As these twenty-nine magnates pre sumably represent the very cretne de la creme of tbe aristocracy, we might at least hope to find among these fathers of the people men whose lives and deeds wero such as to set an example worthy tbe following, not only of their titled brethren of the peeragd, but of the whole body of the British naiion. Let usseo, then, wbat sort of men these dukis really are, wbat they do with their immense wealth acquired in most inslancea at tbe sword???s point, when might was right, or ss a reward of the ministrations of their ancestors to the depraved tastes of dissolute munarchs A rxia WITH HIXftY RELATION*. Ths duke of Richmond is a man of much tbe seme stripe, tnougb he hu drawn a great deal more money from tbegovernmentcoffm, having held office as president of tho poor law board of trade, and lord president of the council. He is bleeud withanumberof poor relations, including Lord William Fitt Len nox, who, witbin my own knowledge, has been glad to accept tlO for taking the chair at a spelling bee, and os be gives little or noth ing to the poor we may charitably suppose tbat bis spare cash is gobbled np by hia imps cunions kinsmen. The duke is not rs well off u other mem hen of his order, his Income not exceeding (250,000 a year. When Henry Charles Fitxroy Somerset 30 /ears sgo succeeded to the title of Duke ot Beaufort, be inherited a princely fortune of some (500,000 a year. From that hour his energies appear to havo been devoted in the main to making ducks and drakes of his du Mt-inheritmnoe. Homo ten years ago tbe wu- fully diminished rent roll warned this titled ???pendtbrllt and gambler tbat nothing but retrenchment would enable bim to continue to hold up his hood among his peers He was then one of the largest owners of racs horses in England, He still maintains a racing stable, butthe glories of the parplesnd white hoops have in a great mauure departed. A f ATOOR or TlfE BALLXT. The Dakeol Be.ufoit Is a ty barite, and altbou/b sixty years of age and tbe father of a large family, he is as notable for his gallan tries ns tho gayest young millionaire about town. He fancies himself a great patron of tbe drama, which bis grace evidently believes to be most fitly represented by young ladles in curtailed exirls, possessed of claulcally modeled understandings. He is frequently cents ?? pound for tnu batter, coal a uve coven front other pottles nt twenty-five cents a pound. to be seen lolling in a stall at tbe Galty, iresumably surveying tbe ebarmi of tbe traaen young aclreu popularly known es "the child," who for eome yean put he has bad the credit of furnishing with silks, dia monds and sealskins, hardly attainable on tbe modest salary of eome $50 a week, whicb this precocious young lady enjoys. For poli tic*, the affairs of thu nation, ur tbe good ot the people, the dttko of Beaufort cares nutn- Ing. He is president ot tbe coaching clab, and one of the bistfour in band wuips in London. His charitable deeds would appear to be confined lo tbe larguse lavished on the interesting young female I have referred to. an orrassiox or tuc roon. His grace the duke of Bedford is ono of tbo richest m*n in Koglaad, bis rent roll reach ing (1,500,000 a year. A large amount ot this enormous revenue is wrung from some ot the poorest inhabitants of migbiy London. The duke owns Covent Garden market and hun dredsof houses in tbe purlieus of the unsa vory neighborhood where stands that disgrace to the greatest city in tbe world. Muuy of these houses are let out in tenements, aud tbe unfortunate occupants ligve dur ing the lut twenty years been rack rented again and again by the duke'a agents. It is only three weeks ago since tbe board of health had to condemn several of these hoUMt u unfit for banian habitation. There upon tbe wretched occupants were promptly evicted, and to insure their getting oat with in the tew days tbe law gave them, the water supply wu inhumanely cut off and ths poor wretches left to sleep in the streets or go into the workhouM, u chance uiigat decree. This plutocratic nobleman bu long stood ia the way of the su tboiitier, who have been for yean desirous of remodeling and improving Caveat Garden market, and his whole lifeaffrrds a striking instance ot tbe baneful influences exer cised upon tbe welfare of the people by an irresponsible aristocracy whom tbe mere accident of birth bu fur hundreds of years enabled to fatten .on the industries of the people. A DISaXfCTABLX Dl'KX.. The next duke on th* list i* about u fine specimen of the title profligate ucsn be found in the whole peerage The duke of Marlborough, who bu only recently suc ceeded to tbe title, and through such a career of dissipation while known u tbe Marqni* of Blandfurd, that hia fatber refused to are or communicate with him for aome [ears pre vious to hla demlM. After gambling to an extent that hu impoverished the ducal acres for year* to come, drinking to heavily tbat be bu already underminded an originally robust >bysique, be put the climax upoa a career u gnoble, u fooihbly criminal by ruining tbe wife of his bosom friend, the earl of Ay lee- ford, while that drunken and empty headed nobleman wu traveling with the prince qf Wain in India. At this time the wretch wu already married and i be fatber of sons and daughters. His amiable and long suffering ???rife, a daughter ot tbe duke of Ab-rcun, wu willing tor the sake ot her children to forgive the tilted rafli in and resume living with him on the condition of abandoning tbe frail countess who bad eo buely betrayed the bonorof herabuntspotue. To tbe surprised everybody, tbe nobleduke refused to listen to unfortunate enough to bear bis name,and the prayers of his aged fatber cud mutUer failed to win him from the companion of his in famy. Satisfied at length of tbe utter worth lessness of her husband, tbe poor duchess of Marlborough eventually sued for a divorce, and the decree of dissolu tion pf marriage promptly granted, hu recently been made absolute. Retribution, however, was at hand; lor when toe old duke of Marlborough died, some few months back, it wss found tbat he had left every sbilting he bad the power to will to bis second eon, Lord Randolph Churchill, who married tbe daughter of Leonard Jerome of New York. This tilled reurobate to-dav en joy*, I think, a pensive of ??!0,000ayear, which uaa been religiously paid annually to the head of tbe Churchill family ever since the great duke of Marlborougu wu endowed wits, his title and his estates by a grateful country in 1702. a noble proflioatk. Th* duke of Hamilton succeeded to the title in 1803, and at odee proceeded to dies!- pate one ut tbe most eno'tuous fortunes that ever fell iuto tbe band* of a minor, for at the time of his father???s death, the young spend thrift lacked two years of the attainment of his majority. Rice horses, dice, card*, wine and a omen solely occupied bit attention for the next ten years or so, wnen his affair* be came su hopelessly involved that nothing bat a proiracted residence abroad and a temporary siquestration of his es tates c uld save tbe then impending col lapse ot Scotland's premier duke. The late Mr. Pudwick, au aoie financier and large money lender, who wu tbe duke's heaviest creditor, took tbe young profligate's affairs in band, and about three yeurs since bis debts were partially paid off and be wu once more his own muter.' Since tbat period be hu re sumed racing and gambling with apparently os keen a zest u ever. Newly contracted debts last year compelled bim to dispose of tue family heirloom), consisting of valuable pictures, plate, priceless china anil endless uric-a brae that uad long been the envy of half the collectors of Europe. It is almost needless to add that this duke bss never opened his mouth in the house of lords, has never by act or deed benefited s fellow creature,and the only accomplishment 1 know bim to he pmst-ssed of is tbat of box ing. As he possesses tho pbysiq ie ot a Her cules and tbe peisonal appearance of a butcher, there Is uutbing remarkable lu bis being an apt disciple of the thtic cham pions. The duke of Westminster, too, who is sup posed to be tbs wealthiest man in England, tsalBO a great patron of racing, but it Is only fair to uy that bis private life is Irreproach able, and while his gifts to charities are wholly out of proportion with his enormous revenues, ho shines conspicuously as a gener ous donor in comparison with the rut of bis order. Tnz FINXIT SARPLU. In sampling tue British aristocracy for the readers of the Caroniole, I have followed the lead of the enterprtring grocer, who invaria bly puts the b'ggut plump on top of tbe box. If we do not find sound and good fruit la ths [dace of honor, we ahnll surely look unsuc cessfully for ic ia tbe lower strata. I have simply set down foots, not mere heresay, without malice, but simply on the "spread the light??? principle. CENTENNIAL METHODISM. Tk. ?????>??(. la Watch th. MclhUl.t Hull ua.fch Neath Prapaa. la OcWkrata In This year 18s4, Is a great and notable ono la tbo annals of American Methodism. It will witness tho celebration of tbo ono hundredth onulvertary pf the Method*: Kplucopal church ou this continent, aud Is certain to prove a year of unusual activity and profound lulcre.t throughout the wide extend ed borders ot that powerful denomination of Chris tian*. Tho grand historic frets relating to tho be- niflernt character and wouderlal achievements of Christianity through tho otgaulzed plans aad the- doctrlnes of Uethodlimdurlug its pathway through this century of lu existence in Amer ica, oro ttnly phenomenal, as acknowl edged by - the world???s lvadtcg minds, and Is ono of the grandest problems of tic rges With more communicants than any other religious body In America, Ills a matter of Interest tobrltfly review some ol the faeU ol general Interest con nected with the history of the Methodist church. Beginning In obscurity and feeblesenees, lit has achieved fur Itself everywhere a most wonderful sacs- sl This great religions movement has, imme diately or remotely, eo given au Impales to Christ ian feeling and profession, on a'l sides, that It has eome to present Itself as the starting point of cur modern religions hletory. In 1781, the year when the Methodist church was organized In Baltimore, when Coke and Asbnry were acknowledged and set apart u super intendents. or bbhops, there were only 14,069 members. 83 preachers, 64 church buildings, no mUslonmilrs, and no lustltu.lou ol learning within tne nounds of tbe denomination. Bat from that time until the pre-out the growth ol Mothodlfm - ' bla. This result was imtnated Accept- hu been almost Incalcuial achieved' heroes In ng th* ; ... , .minder???"The World Is my Parish," there men of Uod traversed every state and territory of o ur great country, presetting tbo gospel with power aud lu demonstration of the tjplrtt???building up the cnnrch. Their entire iluiilencrs of purpore lu spreading tho gospel hu bten their prom inent characteristic, and to day American Method hm numbers wltnlo her various branches 3.S93- 721 members; 25,839 traveling preachers, aud 84.714100*! preachers; 31010 church e- iacjs valued at (100 000 000; -Art IrtMpn.luits uf I,arnlng, embrac ing uulversnP-, college, seminaries and high schools; In 1883 had 133 mt*-lon.rlea In foreign fluids sent from America, besides 1001, native hel pers ; and dutlug that year contributed for the cause of foreign mlsdous tho sum of >5 1417 44 Tbo 31. E. church, south, hu orep??rea to Join In the celebration of "the centennial anniversary of tbe organization ol the Methodist Kplsoopalchurch in merica,??? which will occur In Baltimore ou De- oember 2?ut, snd purposes to commemorate tho great event thr- ughout It* entire bunnd* with suit able services and by rasing funds for educational purposes, cnnrch exten-lon aud missions???thre* noble obj.c'i to which tbe liberality ol the cbnreh will cerr.luly respond. Two mllrl izs of dollars Is ' e amount proposed to be raised f.rr theta ohjwis, . jd tbst this purpose can b- accomplished mere should be no doubt; It will certaluly not exhaust the treasury o! m-sitroHf church with Its nearly nine hundred thousand member). It may bs interesting to our readers to recount what American MuhodUm hu hitherto accom plished on her centenary occasions. Wo Aral ruver- to the centennial ol I8i9 As tbe first Methudlst society wu formed In London In the mouth of No vember. 1739,1101839 -rename properly the one bant dredtb yo ami Methodism. It wu accordingly cel- brahd la Europe and America. During that centenary year, with a membership ol 749,Re members. Including colored metuherssud Indian*, the Methodist cnnrch In America raised ieoj.OCO tar missions, educational pnrpoieseud lor me support ol the worn-out preacher*, and the wldowe, chil dren, and orphans of preaehere. The Wesleran Methodist ol (Treat Britain raised over one million dolia ??? for similar obj.cts The next Metho'lst centennial event wu la 1866. II wu In c-mmemons-ton ol the first Methodist preaching service* held lu this country la 1766, aud wasca eorand by the Metbollsl Episcopal church In 1866 Education and church eitenslun were tho great object* ol tnelr benevolence, and 63 000,009 wss suggested at tho amount to bo raised. Tno result wus msap|fl*ent one. the thauk offering amounting toS4.7u9.l9S 39, or more than lonrtimc* the amount proposed at me oa'tet The mreassfat celebration ol these two former centenary events should certainly encourage our southern Ueihndt-t trleuds to tho accomplish ment of th. noble deeds they have assayed. Such put ought to be an Inspiration. Able and competent committees have tbb work In h nd. and will spare no effort to tucc-tssfully consummate It. The renirsl centenary committee, with headquarter, at Nashrille, Tenn. la compared u follows: R K Hood???ll. D D. of sincur.- chair man; W P Harrison. D D, rocrotary: WU* Williams, sssbtsnt secretary: Judge James Whitworth, treas ure: Bishop HN Mciyetr., L D Palmer, Esq. ol Nashville, and James O P-anar, of Lonisvtil*. JCy. (.mewses PlMstoatA From the HawktaartUe, (ra , News. A goano Sgent of Hawkinsvltle. not long slnee,ln the attempt to induce one ol hla tut yesr'e cus tomers, to fettle a tusno note, eaid: ???My friend, II Ibis cote la rot paid fcyntxi eam-d*y, I trill he compelled, u empty u I w.mid rreret It, to pLc* yt u- name on tbe hirer list. "II that will settle the note," sai l the fa-mer. "you mey place my name ou tno brack tut and be lbe ill-concerted txetuha* come lo the conchuloo that other mean*, b-rat-r than block -bus. are ntc- the pleadings ol the true woman who wsa eatery to Induct some propietopay tor goano.