Newspaper Page Text
THE WEEKLY CONSTITUTION. ATLANTA. GA.. TUESDAY NOVEMBER II 1884, TWELVE PAGES.
BILL ARP
Be Wanted to Hear tho Election News, Bat vu
Afraid it Would be Bad, an 1 Waited Patient
ly for Some One to Tell Him-Ho ia
x How Happy, Etc.
It if curious how a man nan fool himself.
Two or three day* before the election I had
trade up my mind and became reconciled to
defeat, for I had been reading both aides pretty
???Icee and bad given it up. So I mustered up
all my philosophy and imagined I was pre
pared for anything. But I wasent, I was fool
ing myeelf, I wouldent go to Atlanta Tuesday
to see Tub Constitciox???s jack-o-my-lautern,
I went to town and voted and came back home
early for 1 dident want to stay and hoar bad
news. Next morning I went nut on the big
road to fix a broken gate and I thought may-
he somebody would come along and tell me
the news without may asking, but nobody
came but a darkey and he dident know any
thing. I went to the house and ruminated and
tried to be calm and serene but I couldent and
kept looking down the big toad for somebody
to come and break tho news and 1 was afraid
srmebody would come, and tho news would bo
had. I've been to the dentists afore now
have an aching tooth pulled and was glad
find the door locked and the dentists gono. So
I waited another hour for somebody to come
from town nnd then went off to the field
work. About noon a man came along in
buggy and boiled mo with a hurrah for Cleve
land and he hurried on before 1 could ask him
the news. But it sounded favorable and hoped
me up some. At two o???clock another man
came by and said Cleveland was elected, but
I wasent satisfied and so I dident cut up nor
evolute, but by and by whea 1 got my mail
and read ???Victory??? in great big letters at the
head of the column I was overwhelmed with n
thankful and a joyful surprise. There \vm not
a soul at homo but me and the dog aud tho cat
and in as much os they couldent understand
any gymnastics I just kept my seat placidly
by the fire and felt good all over all by myself
aa 1 read the crowing and tho chuckliug and
the rejoicing that nlfcd tho columns of Tun
CossTitCTtox. 1 was just thinking abr
lug over to tell tho news to nabor Muni
he raid that If Cleveland was elected he know
cd he would have a fit and I wanted to see
what kind of a fit it would be. General Young
told me that tho first thing he would do wouir
be to indulge for a day or two in some artifi
eial elation and then subsido and reform aud
join tho church, fir reform was the watch
word of the party and we all ought to reform
out of gratitude.
' But it does look like the good things of this
life dent last long. I hadent rejoiced very
long before 1 got to feeling sorry for tho other
side. 8??>rry for some clever uiuu who were in
??flic# and would have to step down and nut,
was even sorry for Mr. Blaine. Tho g k><1 bV>k
says we must- rejoice with those that rejoice
and weep with those that weop and I was try
ing my best to do both. I dont euro so much
about the men but ithurts tin toseotheir wives
and children disappointed and distressed
When a-good man is in oflice nni needs it for
the support of hia family 1 dont think 1 could
turn him out, I dont think I could and that is
one thing that made mo like Grover Clove-
land, for they say that when ho was first elect
ed-governor ot New York he never turned out
hut one map. Well, that may d> in Nuw
York but it wont do at Woshiogtou. Too
rascals must nil go and there are lots of them.
Jfr. Cleveland will be doing enough for thoin
to pardon thtin out of the penitentiary when
they get there. Reform is what the nation
wants. Tho tariff is a little thing compared
wiih it.
But while I ruminated on these things and
was feeling comfortable and complacent over
my own generous feelings towards a fallen too,
a filler enroo oloug with the news t at New
York had gone for Blaine and ao I just cot-
laps'd and wilted aud felt as hum bio and
helpless as a dead nigger, I lost all my phi*
Iciophy in half a minute and felt like I dident
have a friend in the world. Mrs. Arp was
away off in Rome and the girls were in town
and the children were at school. The dig
erme creeping in to tho fire an l I kicked him
eut .and then 1 got sorry for him aud called
him back again. When tho children came
home I dident itidulgo in my usual loving
greetings nor ask who was head and bow thoy
got along but I moped around and looked
solnm until Jessie said, ???Papa, you are sick
aim )ou????
By and by nabor Freeman dropped in.
knew be would come if Blaine wa* elected l???or
he is sorter on that side of tho fence and I
never join issue with him in an unpleasant
way about it, for he is a good nabor and that
beata politics and he has just as much right to
Ins opinion as 1 have to iniue. But I kuow
that if ho found out Blaine was elected he
wt uld coowdown to jubilate a little and see
what 1 had to say abnit it. 8o I never let ou
but brightened up and made out like it was
just what I expected and it dident make any
sliflcrH.ce either to him or to ine. I nov**r
gave him any chance to crow over me, but 1
was home-sick all the some, 1 caul bear to b-
lifted away up yonder and then have all the
prone knocked from under. I dont mind
coming down on a sliding scalo but it hurts me
to tall so far und so heavy of a sudden.
Now here it is again, another paper and the
same old ???Victory??? at the mast bead and b itb
sides claiming it. But my faith is now shaken
and I???m g??>iug to stay down on the ground un
til I know more than I do now. I???m sorry for
col or Muoford for tb??y sty be has a fit every
n orning because Cleveland is elected and
anothtr in the evening because be aint, and
General Young is in a bail fix, too, and nobody
knows when ho will bo ready to join tho
church.
ltut there is no sense in mourning and ca
vorting over politics, if Blaine is elected I???m
going to make the best of it and be like th-
feller wbo swam around old Noah???s ark and
asked to be let in aud when old Noah shook
bis head he swam o(T to a flouting log and
Stisddlrd it and said he dident b-dieve ther *
was going to be much of a shower no how.
Roland told me to-day that politics dident
bother him much in time ot peace,but he heard
that B??h Toombs said there would be another
revolution before long ana he reckoned they
would let a poor mau fight a little when it did
came. That's so. They will let a po ??r man
Getting There,
From the Burlington Hawkeye.
It does take a great while to get a bay out of a
place where he want* to stay. Mau- cornea out
lato the orchard.
??????childvn, come right down oaten that are tree
this minute!???
???Whkb tree????
??? It by, that un yer In!???
???Ibis one????
???Yts, that one.??? .
???This one Jure by the fencer*
"Yw, that un yt-r in.???
???*1 bis one with tae red apples????
???Yes, that 'un, an* I don???t want to tell ye
agin.???
???Well, we're com In???down.???
???Well, come dowu migbty.qulck.???
???Well, lam.???
???Hurry, then!???
???Ru*t I come clear down????
'Khar down on tee ground, and get tbar m!jh-
ty anlck. too!??? >
???w*h/'slowly si Wing down the trank, ???I am
devn; abatjou hollerin at me forf* -
If the e are ten tioya fn the tree, the entire dla-
S it- with variations bas to be repeated for etc-i
. in rase the msn Is their father nr <o??ne n ar
tiv??, and by the tin ??? the last boy gets to the
ground tbrre fsn'tan tuple on the tree. In ease
the tnfet viewer is a stramrer or a dog. however.
it* first woid or prefatory hark isn???t complete t
before the tree I* mm desolate and as solitary m a
careen of rnroinhere, white the etlewt roed I*
lull oi how) ng boys, casting into the orchard Par-
thisn shots olTanisI atone* and derisive rtuurb
The Town of Leno on Fire.
FT. Loris, November 7.???A special 'from Ft
Joe. Vo., to the Post Dispatch say- the town of
" o. Is . (son *??r. *??*d *mht***1y wtH be entirely
DECLINE OF THE DUELLO.
A Carious Creole AfTMrof lion or in the
Olden Dnya.
N. O. Letter to Nashville American.
Not far from the grouuds where the magnifi
cent buildings of the world???s exposition glorify
the lardeci.po with their assurances of peace
ui.d pr* gross, is a beautiful grove of half a
di z> ii live raks, whore green-gray pium-M of
long ientestlc moss possess a strange funeral
suggrstivt-nesa. Their story holds that in early
yours of this loir state six gay young creole
gentlemen were strolling together to the plautl
ation of a mutual triend*. It was a heaveul;
night. The moonbeams were weaving the(
softening spell over a scene by nature soft and
languid to voluptiousucss. In a breeze tra-
grunt with kisses from tho blossoms of an or-
oiige grove not far, the aix oaks gently shook
their mossy pendants, nnd made fantastic
shadows ou the velvet sward. ??? What a place
foreword play!??? exclaimed one of the party.
???I echo your sentiments,??? replied another
lightly. ???Then let us try it,??? said the first.
???A capital idea,??? answered tho other, and he
drew his jeweled ropier. In a moment thoy
were at it, nnd the weapons were weaving in
nnd out with a gaily glittering rapidity that
made a mockery of the gentle moonbeams.
???Whut a pity for us to stand idly by I??? ob
served another of the party. ???Let us pair off,
then,??? said number lour, aud they all drew si
multaneously. It must huve Been a pretty
sight???those threo pairs of graceful and gallaut
itJIowa at nurry and thrust hard-by those
grand old oaks that live to day. But tho play
waxed warm; presently the eyes of the com
batants oirtllneficd their awords, and when
tho sun came up over the rim of tho level,
lovely Louisiana plains with tbo same sem
blance of suddenness that oao notea in his rise
ou the ocean, he looked on the six oaks not as
usual, but on aix ghastly, upturned faces, for
which thoso oaks now stand monumental.
One man lingered a few hours over day to tell
the story of the night, and now as the stranger
steams up tho muddy aud moody rivor the
creole points to those oaks with expression and
expressions compound ol pity and pride. It is
easy enough to infer that with the deicend-
on is of such men tho duello, thuogh dying,
dies hard, especially in a clime where the
blood burns a little faster than in the north or
in Europe.
Yes, tho poor old duello is dying. Public
opinion htu?? gathered head agniiist it, and it
must go. A case in poiut occurred the othor
day. The city editor of a great paper took a
holiday and appointed one of the reportorial
corps his pro lem. This promoted ran trier
requested another of the corps to attend to a
certain matter, which he refused, saying it wav
tho city editor???s business, not his. Words
multiplied, n blow was struck, a scuffle ensued
end they were parted. Next morning tho
temporary editor, grandson of a famous Napo
leonic general, sent his brother reporter what
is termed a peremptory challenge, i. e., one
that leaves no room for apology, instead of ouo
that bears the provision of uulcss or if.
The challenged reporter, sou of a famous
southern senator, was clearly iu the wroug
from the start. His friends felt so an 1 would
knvc made him opologise, but no chanco ot
that was given. With as much secrecy as pos
sible the meeting took place under ???Tbo Oak,???
as the old duelling ground of tho city is called
and where many a fatuous duel has been
fought. The seconds were measuring ofT the
grounds when a letter, signed by some of tho
most prominent citizens and old soldiers of tho
It wn, was brought to them, praying a put-
pom ment for a day and submission or the
u alter to their arbitration. Tho seconds de
rided to grunt it and placed their principals
under arbitrament. Tho result was that tho
committee ordered the senator???s son to apolo
gize, which he did. The apology was accepted
and friendship reigned again. So much for
the progress of peace in southern society I Tho
long night of brilliant barbarism is passing
away and the day cometh in which all men
may work. _
SEVEN THOUSAND IN A It LOOK.
L to lie
Tlio Most Crowiltd Spot on Knrl
* Found lu New York City.
Corresponds nee Albany Journal.
The most crowded spot on earth ia tho block
iu this city bounded by Fourth streot, Fifth
stmt, avenue A, and First avenue There
are many equal spaces of ground iu this city
snd eliewht-ro holding worse squalornud closer
crowding, but in thoso cu**s the buildings aro
low, to that the layers of humanity are few.
lb s tquare is solidly composed ofsix-tiorj
tenement homo s, each twenty-five foot front-
age, representing four families on each floor,
and these families woudrously prolific iu chil
dren. The number of rosiileuts is estimato-i
\tr 7,MO. Fix in your mind somo town
with that population and then imagine it erm ???
pretsed in a single city block. Tbe situation
is in tbe n rioiiig East Hide. The people aro
German*, Irish, Roles and born Americans,
with none of tbo locally despised Italians,
Chinese, or Africans. Th??v, are industrious as
a rule and well behaved on the avuragu.
1 l:i rc is a savings bonk around tho corner in
First avenue, and no pawnbroker in tbo im
mediate neighborhood. No aspect of abject
poverty is pr?? seated to tho street whatever
wry be hidden by tho front walla of brown
???tone and pressed brick.
Close by is tbe beer saloon of Gustav
Behw-ab, wbo lead* w^at there is of nihilism
in New York. 1 dropped in to see him. lie
is always on exhibition behind tbe bir, and
tbe sight costs five cents for a glass of beer,
or more in cose you wish a protracted view,
hebwab bas a big bead, frowsy hair, a tierce
mustnehc, and a loud voice. ???Well, when
are you going to raze the Vanderbilt mansion*
nd pry ope ii the Astor vault*???? I asked.
Koonersa some folks ilinks,??? ho replied.
Dcr Anuriguu public r-r-rouse* slow, but
vtn dty do r-r-ronne dey will r-r-rouse
high.??? Ilis eyes rolled with the
utiernnce of tbo r???s, and he looked very revo
lutionary, indeed. However, all his talk w.i*
t nonsensical. Ho said, for iuHtanco, tbit
men ever bad been or ever would bo sen-
i erd in Kuw York to imprisonment tor
sieuling over a million dollars. I have not
bun able to find a case to refuto bis charge.
It is true that Tweed died in jail, but ho had
only Uen luxuriously dutaiued there, await-*
it g punishment. John C. Kuo easily bought
bis wuy to Cun ad a alter robbing tbe Second
nstb usl Lank of four million*; James D. Fi:h
aud Ferdinand Ward, the plunderers of Gen
eral Grant and others to a
fbbul<>u* extent, have not been criminally
jirobecuted, and are supposed to bo purchaiing
mmunity; and to they go free, to give color
o bebwab???s accusation that we have laws Cor
rhe poor that are not enforced against tho
rich. ???We het no peesness in die campaign,???
Schwab remarked???and so tho manager* of the
mp'ctive parties may be relieved of anxiety
as to the nihilistic vote in this city. ???Acbl
va shall strike some tay, but nod dia time.???
The official canvas* of the laat election, in
which there was a socialistic candidate for
mayor, revealed seventy-one ballots for him,
and it is said that tbe recipient of those few
favora bad expended $5,000 in the canvass.
A Do| Rnrb??r-hhop.
From tbe Philadelphia New*.
A Larber-sbop exclusively for dogs and pap
ers, where any good, respectable canine who
its tbe money can get a sbavp or a ohatiip w,
or Lair cut, ia about to be opened in this city.
Jmt where it will be located ia an unsettled
question as yet. An attempt wa* made to *e-
rure a room for tbe purpose under one of the
Broad street hotels, but tbe proprietor object
ed on tbe plea that it would interfere with the
already established puppy trade at bis regu
lar barbershop and be could not afford to
have tbe opposition. Still It is an established
fact that such a concern will be started in tbe
near fn ure.
Perhaps it Is not known outside of the trad*
thst ctog ???clipping??? or hair cutting, ia getting
to be an important branch of tho barber busi
ness. Fashion able dames have their pet
p??*dlet regularly shampooed and combed
v*ry day, and tbe swell owners of expensive
togs or skye-Drriers"are regular patrons.
Very, few dega allow bay rum to be used in
shaving them, and they are poor consumer*
for ???our never- lailing hair entuvr for bald-
or ???the world renowned elixir for eo-
evnrsging over-modest mustaches.??? The
meet artistic bow-wows have their own eupt,
itb tbeir names in German text, and a priv
ate brush.
FRONTIER LIFE.
Mr. Uelaon FronkUn Tells ??? Newspaper Min Row
a Darina Bobbery was Committed- How Throe
Men FUnncd the Bobbery???A Hat end
Wbr.t it Led to???Othor Points.
The following characteristic story ot frontier
ife was told the reporter of tho Nows by Mr.
Nelson Franklin, who is' in tho city, and wh
has lived for some time during the past two
years in Silvcrton and other towns and camps
in southern Colorado:
???A daring robbery lias been committed.
The officials of a well-known banking institu
tion in a town in southern Colorado, upon
reaching tbe building one morning discovered
tbat a side door bad been brokeu open, the
fastening of an Inner door forced, and the safo
containing tho bank???s valuables drilled and
blown, and relieved of its contents. A careful
search of the premises revealed the body of
tbe watchman in an adjonlng???vacant lot pierced
with knife wounds, and covered with bruises,
showing the evidences of a struggle, and that
more than one person was engaged in tho mur
der and robbery. Soon the whole community
was aroused, and the sheriff, with a posse ol
armed and mounted men, was ready to start
on the trail of the murderers. But who were
they, end where could they bo found, were
questions easier to ask than to.answer.
???On the floor of tho banking- room was found
a large-brimmed sombrero, decorated with pe
culiar spangles, and which several citizens
identified an having been worn by one ot tbo
three strangers who came into town tho after
noon before, and had been drinking at several
saloons during the evening. A tolerably fair
description of these men was pbtaiued, also
the information giveu by a ranchman who
came into town during the morning that three
n.ep answering the description, armed and
mounted on powerful horses, had p**scd him
while on his way in abo.it daylight, going
south ot a rapid rate, evidently on their way
to New Mexico,
???Upon hearing the ranchman???s story tho
officers separated into three squads, and start
ed off well equipped for an encouuter. Every
trail over tbo mountain waa examined and ev
ery possible clue followed for several days, but
to no purpose. The buuk officials, mayor ot
the town nnd governor of tho state offered re
wards tor tho capture of tho miscreant*, which
in tbe aggregate amounted to several thou
sands of dollars. This induced a large num
ber of determined nnd bruve men to join in the
pursuit, which waa prosecuted for more than a
week without result.
???Finally ouo of these parties, composod of
three of the best frontiersmen in tho country,
cvjuo suddenly upon tho fugitives in a rojky
canon in the fastnesses of the Needle moun
tains shortly otter daybreak, just as they wero
making preparations for a rude breakfast.
Calling upon them to surrender, they were an
swer'd by a volley of shot*, which wero at
once returned. The'battlo being ono of life or
denili, tho firing lasted some minute* without
result, when ono of tho dosporadoes fell mor
tally wounded. The other*, apparently a tuun
and a boy, kept up tbe firing until tlieir am
munition w as exhausted, when they wero com
pel led perlcrce to surrender. Thoy wero taken
back to tlfo ennip or main reudezvnu* of tho
pursuing party, together with tho body of tho
oead man,??? There it was proposed hr lynch
the survivors, when a singular thing Happen
'd. Tbe boy, who appeared to bo not over
eighteen ycors of ago, and of fair complexion
and long nair, addressed the assemblage about
as follows: ???Gentlemen, I suppose wo have not
very long to live, but before you carry your
purpose Ttilo execution allow mo to say that
this man was innocent of any complicity tn
tic murder, but tbat tho man who is dead aud
sell killed him, and)our vengeance should
upon xuo, the only guilty ono living.???
Ihe clear, musical, ploadiug voico, the
long hair streaming in tho wind, aud tho
bright, sparkling eye*, which glowed with An
imation, end were suffused with tears during
the appeal, produced an impression upon those
rough men lor which thoy at tho time could
not account. At the conclusion, however, tho
other prisoner suijdenly started up and said:
???Gentlemen, don???t belfove tho atory told you.
Ibis 1* my wife, who, from her devotion to
unworthy mo, bus accompanied me in all my
wand' rings, dressed in tbo garb of a man. Sho
has in many desperate encounters saved my
life, end, although delicately reared, has
???bared in all the hardships* dangers and pri
vations ol my rough life, and not only had no
shnit in tho transaction* ol that evening, but
would have prevented them could sho have
done so. Don???t believe her; sho would save
my life at tho expenae of her own.???
???This streak ol manliuees in a nature ao ap
parently mean, rather staggered the men iu
their intentions for a few moments, but pros-
ntly some of tho leaders, remembering ttnlir
uipo**, ordered tbat preparation* should at
once he mane for the hanging of ''iu mini.
Suddenly the woman sprang up h' a tigress
about to be deprived of her young, und snatch
ing a pistol from tbo belt - f ono of tho tuen,
defied them to hang her ausbaud; then, in
another spirit, sho loll on her knees and pile
ghastly preparations'wero soon completed, and
tut a lew minutes later the body of Jack Mail-
land was swinging in mid-air, aud tlio nun.
ishn ent ot the cruel crime which hud been
committed wa* complete. Thu wilo was con
vey'd to town, and alter hovering between life
??ud math for week", finally recovered sufli
rienth lo be rent homo to her friends in tbe
tart}who proved to be people of wealth and
Handing.???^???Denver News.
SUMMER FRIENDS IN ARKANSAS.
THE If (Hi,
Tli?? Mir sing link lie tween I7't n und the
AnlniuU, but Not an Artistic Muceass.
Frr.tr tbe Minneapolis Bazoo:
Tbe hog, studied from an artistic point ot
view, ia a dimial failure, but viewedf in tbe
light of a long-lelt want ho looms up a pre
eminent and lasting success.
1 he origin ol this bird U lost In antiquity
|whatever that riisy be) but tbat he is the
long-sought missing link between mau and
tbe higher animals there can bo no doubt.
We tay higher animals, but du not interpret
too literally, A man can get higher than any
quadruped known to acience, if properly
educated and furnished with th*
right brand of liquor, but ho can
and docs get lower tban any &niua*l that
breathe* tbe breath of life. In
to have his back scratched???to does a man.
He can cet his two hundred pounds of avoir-
dupofs through a holo that a bantam roostar
" uldn???tfind with an opera glas*???r> can a
msn, if he happens to be a politician and up
lo staff.
lbeverv thing a hog ia expected to do 1a
the very thing be don???t do and couldn???t bs
hired to do wiib $4 and a silver-plated swilj
trough. When he gets into the (lower garden,
instead of walking around and enjoying th*
??weet perfume of flowers h?? imagines he has %
??p* rial rail to solve the Chinese question, and
Marts for tbat far off kingdom by a direct
r?? ute through tbe pan*y bed. when he is about
half way there a very mad wointn cause*
bim to rbange brs mind, and he *UrU on a
ttur of intj ection. She drives bim up to tho
gate and make* a wild rush at hint with %
broom in order to add eclat to the finish, flha
adds it. The bog looks at the gate aa if h*
thought of buying it, and then with a n >is*
like ripping up eight miles of plank sidewalk,
Le makes s ru??b in the opposite direction, and
Ike air fs full ??d striped stockings and e nbroi
dery. Then tbe w..man cries, goes into ths
Louse sr d puts tome court plaster where (twill
do the most pr**!. and sixes a bov a quarter to
K t the hog out of the garden. The wr drives
n* :be ether way, and (he hog whirls an I
ft ca through, the gala with a grunt,of tri
umph.
Sad Disappointment of Atnly Splllers When
lie Ylfdied Judge Guplln,
From (lie Arkantaw Traveler. '
Several weeks ago, while Judgo Gaplin wa*
cut on a fishing excursion, he took sholter,
during a mu storm, iu the house of old Andy
Spillera. The old man, aware of his i^mst???*
ln;.h position, made extra efforts toontertaiu
bun, and, after the storm had subsided, ac
companied* him to the creek and caught u
firing of fish for bim. The jurist cxpre-ised
in warm terms his gratitude, aud upon taking
his departure said:
???My dear siryj should bo pleased to receive
avhit from you in tho city, aud let me say
tbot, should you come thither, I shall deetu it
a pleasure to entertnin you.???
???But you ore such a nigh man in town,
jedge???? ???Nonsense, my dear sir, I am only a
qisii, and I beseech you, huvo no hesitancy ia
approaching me.???
???Oh, I ain???t afeerd, jedge. I don???t hang
back for nobody.??? ???You are right,??? exclaim
cd the judge. ???Good by, and don???t forget to
call upon me.???
The other day old Spillera cametotowq, and
hearing that the judge waa holding court, ho
said to hiv companion: ???Come on uu??? less see
him. 1 ain???t no summer coon, let me tell you,
an??? I???ll show you what a'portent man I am.
Oh. you stick to mo an??? youMI fiud yourself all
right among there town folks.???
When they entered tho courtroom tho judge
wis engaged in delivering nn important rul
ing. ???In the caso of Hamilton vs. Ohadson,???
said he, ???the cjurt, aud 1 think with much
wisdom, held??????
???Hello, jedge,??? exclaimed old Spilters.
Everybody looked around, and the jurist,
shock'd almost from the woolsnok ???or, more
properly speaking, considering the influences
winch brought him to Arkausaw, tho carpet
bag???lowered bis spectacles and gazed in tho
direction whence came the voice.
???Hello, jedge,??? repeated 8ptlleri, pressing
forward.
???Mr. Sheriff, arrest that man I???
???Wbot, you don???t know mo, I reckin??? Pun
forgot old Andy Splllers? Don???t you rlol-
1<ok o???how wo had to drive tho cob stopper
inside the jug aforo wo could git at tho liokor?
Don???t you know how 1 cotch tho fish for
you????
These expressions fell like burning coals on
the judge. He was a candidate for ro-eloc-
iion on tbe prohibition ticket, and hod, upon
returning Iron the country, boasted ot his
skill ?????? a fisherman.
???Where is tho sheriff???? demanded tbo
judge.
???Gone out,??? some one replied.
???PJrasecall him.??? ???Jedge, you can???t put
up no sich a j<??ko on mo. Come on, Ben, nnd
less lift him from bohind tho box.???
???Leave tho room I ??? roared the judgo.
toppit
you???ve forgot how you
my linker. Fine man, coino out in thn coun
try nn??? git on a hurrnh an??? bog a follor to
come to see you, an??? when he come* fling up
yer bond an??? snort like a flvo-year-old.??? Tho
sheriff arrived and seized the old fellow.
???Don???t put him in jail, Mr. SheriA???, but seo
that ho goes home.??? ???That???s all right, jedge.
Reck in you???ll come out thar when you wuuter
git on another rip-snortor. Good-bye, old
turn-coat. Ketch you out my way, an* I???ll
mop up tho face o??? the ycarth with you.???
The Oldest Man lu Pierce.
Matthew Kwentln the niitckshear New*.
1 sm now over *ixtv-threo years old and I
claim to be (not the oldest man, but) tho oldest
inhabitant of Fierce county. 1 wu* born in
Bulb eh county the 24th clay of Juno, 1821.
My lather cnmo to tho territory of Fierce
county in tbe year 1828, and I havo. boon a
continual resider in this county or tho territo
ry thereof ever sincej-oow if there is any one
who can claim n longer residence in tho terri
tory of this county lot him corao forward, as
1 would like to know who be is.
EDUCATIONAL
EDUCATIONAL,
A Petrified Oyster,
From tho America*. Go., Recorder.
Mr. John R|??eight showed u* a peculiar rock
n tew days ago, which he found ou his planta
tion. It bad several very finely formed hol
low* in it, sonic largo nnd others small, but
all the same shape???something like* a fan. He
was of tho opjnion it was a petrified oyster
clam.
An Kx-Prlest Mohhoil.
Mobtrkal November 0.???Father Cheiilqiiy, the
ex-prlot, wanstii onuecd to presell In Ruswdl halt
In this i ll), last night. The hall was packod with
an audience constating mostly of his opponent',
while outside w*a gut bored a mob of about 2.CM0.
The pi'.cctdlnga wero constantly tiiterrupt-d, and
rooti after theheturrr commenced to ???po*x the
n.ca refused to let him proceed, amid a scons
u utmost coufuslon. Men uto'xl ou *o*t' and
window sills,) owMng derisively. Tho speaker at-
tcmplt-d to make hlinsell liunrd. Thi* w??s followed
by ??????l.n Mum-illrtlho.??? kIvoii (n yelling chorus.
B'urb'-s broken, and broken rIsiis from window*
were ??oou * sto red over tlio hnll. Tho crowd out-
sloe hoi thud themselves to loud talk And howls.
There wa* a strong police force present luauUeipa-
tfoo of the trouble.
THE GREAT GERMAN
REMEDY
Relieves and cures
H1IEUMATISX,
Neuralgia,
Sciatica, Lumbago,
DAtuArni;
IIE A DU IIE, TOOTHACHE,
SORE THROAT.
QUINHY, HWELMNO0,
writ AINM,
???orssess, Cuts, Orulisf,
FROSTBITES,
ItURXW, KCAV.VIH,
And all other bodily achM
FIFTY CENTsTuifRE.
Hold by all Drunrtata and
DrolerK. Direct!;,u?? In II
Isiiguafee.
Th' Chinei A. Vogeler Co.
?? *. TOOtlXE S' 0)
ffelflmor??, Md.. U.K.A.
HAMILTON heaUhfu /uImmi? 1 *? *???
perreuevd. Extensive grounds for Recre- ton
Apartments,all uuderono roof. Hen ted Tp h 1 iWT
yciiing Indies occupy a room. Cost of
Medical Detriment???University of Louisian*,
. * NEW ORLEANS*
Over one hundred young lady boarder* the m*t
1884* For TorniH.rntnlinm*???.*/???*!/*% f T TTi/^< 77*
dent* Lexington, Ky. QVJ ULj
; s i
m
itrodnction of IV
Igbt Thousand patients supply unlimited
cliuieal material. Circulars scut upon applie*
tton. wk)
UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA.
ill literary, Scientific and Professional Depart
meiita, Including Ijiw, Medicine Engineering *ud
Agriculture. For information apply to Dr. JAM Eh
F. IIAKR1KON,Chairman of Faculty* P.0,, Uni
yerrdty of Va.wky
CHAMBERLIN, JOHNSON &Cc
66 and 68 WHITEHALL STREET,
ATLANTA, GA.
Will offer from now UU do,* of tbe anmaer,
BARGAINS
White Goods, Table Linens, Towel*,
II. Bloachod and Drown Bbsetlng*,
Bhlrtlntra and PIUow Can*
Cottons, Bilks, Black
Goods.
CARPETS!
LACE CUBTAINB, WINDOW SHADES,
FLOOR OIL CLOTHS, MAT
TINGS, BTC.
ALBO.
BEST STOCK SHOES IN THE STATE I
For Ladle*, Gents, Children and Infants.
Also, Agents for Botterrtck???s Patterns.
ClIAMRKItLIN, JDIINM** *(!Q
iflffSr. WILSON???S
LIGHTNING SEWER!
Two lhon??finrt Atlfrt-p* a mlnnto. The
or<l) sbaohrtsly flr??t-rls*?? lowinx tUsehln-
|n tl ?? world tVH mi (Hftl Wnrrnntod 1
icxa Rriut fnr ItlnitrstHl I'sMl'Hpis ??nd
rtm.lor M. Armt. Wnnt~d. Tlfi:
*FV. ING ??f ACHINK CO., Chicago or New
York. wky
The Best Schoo[ in tne State.
The Cheapest School In the State.
Tuition Is only TWELVE dollars per year at
-Gordon Institute.???
BARNESVILLE PAY8 THE BALANCE.
IL8 IN ATTBN
I red more. Nol.
Tbe leading edu
cators indorse the school
Bend for catalogue
C1IA8.E. LAUBDIN, President
oc??1> snnAwky tf ???
ut.
???. (m
ATLAS ENG
INDIANAPOLIS,
UAM0F00
STEAM ENGINE
Carry Engines and Boilers In Block lor imme
the U ARROW
THOMAS n??4=!=s=S
ariWSr.T?s cotton, corn
In (???tilt I rating (yminglCotton, ami a proportion-
I???nni lilt let* sent on application. Wo Unro Agent*
XI o MT.fi In unoeett- T U H ilf A Q
rt'rd t-M-Uory. Addrcoa I H W lYl ft J
METALLIC SHINGLES
rrnnmontnl, Duruhlo nri'l ciieft|??. iriiTor*
out style* In Tin and Iron. Bond for Circa*
tar mid Prices.
ANGLO-AMERICAN ROOFING CO.
83 Cliff Street. WowYorttj
THE KEYSTONE
WASHER.
Over 300,000 in Actual Use
And all giving perfect satisfaction.
A GENTS WANTED.
YI/1LLWA8H CLEANER, EA8IER, AND WITH
?V iris Injury to t lothcs than any other Ir
Vmid. Vr 'hnlh-riffo uuymanufacturerU
???.???me n bettor Washer.
EYEBY MACHINE WARRANTED FIVE YEARS,
will outlast any two wooden mncl
AGENTS WANTED
Exclusive Territory. Our agents all ovor the
count') are making
FE0M $7510 $200 PER MONTH.
RH*I1 price, 17. Sample to Agents, |3. Auto, our
cch brattd
KEYSTONE WHINGERS
??? AT
Lowest Wholesale Prices.
Clrrvlan Free. Meter to editor this paper.
Addicts
IP, ADAM8 Ac OO.,
orl2A???wkylkt Brio, Prs.
DON???T
you want s *:??* ???A Hhot ftep??Mtiu??
Rlflo for *IA. a 830 Breech Loarilm
a 8SA 5IkkIc- Lantern for 819, .
vst'-h for 91 A, a 8IA VH11 Hi| vcr Watch for ????
Ymi can get any of TUU these article* Pr????
If you will devote a few hours of your letaurt
time evening* to introducing our naw good*. Oni
lady secured a Gold watch free, In a sluglu after
noon. A gentleman g????t a Filter Watch IA# A M *1
for f)(k*n infinites work; a boy 11 ff r\Is I
y??ar?? old st-eared a watch In one day; hundred*
for fifteen infinite* work; a boy
yisrsoldseenreda watch In one d__.
of others have done nearly as well. If you bav*
s Magi'* I-notera you ean start a business tha>
will pay you from tin to IftOevery night. H??nd ai
???ropes, Telegraph Imirumenta, Type Writers, Or
gan Arrordrons, Violins, Ac., Ac. It may star
??? on the road to weu'th.
WOULD MANUPACTimiNO CO.,
f??t Naaann Wnwt. New Tarli,
JBchn^dfls k) Eh
Correlated wllth Vanderbilt University. Highest
advantages In every du|Mrtm??uL .spU-mll.l new
building; ample faculty; music, art, oUhthmitos.
Health {accessibility. For catalogue, address
Rev. Geo. W. F. Price, D. D., Free.,
??? Nashville. Tc-m.???Y
ATLANTA COTTON MILLS,
ATLANTA, GA.,
MAKE THE BEST BHKKTIN'W AND 8IHRT
log* from clean strong cottons. Asic you
atorckcotter for them and take no other. ???Atlant
mill* *???4-4 sheeting. ???Atlanta mills B,??? 7-8shirt
log. Be wore and get tbla. .
established 1840,1
THE Crr.lBFUTXO I
???BRADFORD???;
PORTABLE MILL
CORN, WHEAT A Fill. .
ruica BILL MACHINIST*
detarlpllf* Ctrew??
CINCINNATI. O-
NE WORKS
IND.. U. S. A.,
TUBKltS OF .
8 & B 0,1 L E R SI
dlate delivery. Bend lor Catalogue aud Prloca
I1H* juni ut*i???ll rii-???k i rviiiiuiu linn .urmi wa
8outlimi Exposition at LmiIhvIIIu, Ky., over 17
competitors. THE BEST.
WARRANTED to bo the REST FCLVKItIZ-
white oak and steol. It rMpfilly and cheaply cultl-
JP. lA/LMTAT H will positively HA VB one
(x TV nUn I ??? boelug mill two plowluga
ate amount in Com aud Wheat Full IlluatnUect
In nearly every Important town. A OK NT 8
harrow oo. gisraat.
m
As Salesmen,
8 Leal cr gmallcg,.
* fllnto which preferred; sIm," amount
wanted per month for service* and ex-
_ penses. (ioods very salable. Bus toast
Bfiminrablo, ulcasuit. and permanent.
I Write us.
SLOAN & CO., ???
'STlC-org* Btroet, CINCINNATI, O.
\T A Dirnrrr V Palnlw**ur*cure. Bonk
V A KlLULr LCifree. Clvlaln Agenay.lOO
Fulton act. N. Y.
Nervous Debilitv USmSTTMlfl
Agency, tea gnltnn ML. N. Y *
\/irnD For Mvu.Quick,sure,sale3ookfree
VJllUK Clvlatc \wnrr uu F.ilton ,t. N.Y
Cancers, Tumors and Ulcers,
mREATKD BY A NEW WONDERFULLY 8UO
tsalnl method, without the knife ortho low
.wtf. AII forms of Chrtmltt W****** n ape
dalty. Bend for descriptive pamphlet-Way U
Health???Free. For PaJUmilar* call on o*; ad
dress, DK K. II. GREENE,
17* Pcacntrec street. Atlanta, Go.
Mention The ffonstltutlon.
sel l A???wkm-
% LONG ms.
c???trJy tml*/or tn/crnL IfoncKtpoorormen
wfeagiu can send %canta for partlen*
t<\ Addri*.t*T. Hahfissu IIimi*
I moderate dimm
C TAHDABD BIOGRAPHIES / juar
BLAINE ??nd I.OOAN IRBADY.
TH Boyal ocUto p??m; ??7 (nil put. IUn.lr.UOD>
TILDEN.CLEWELANna-cI HENORICK8
771 Uo,.l??(Uv?? pmim; Vi full IM;* lllulntl..
Best Terms ever offered to Agents,
Outfit Free and All Frevrht Paid.
A4dr<?? II x cnoixu-KKD * <:o.
New Yuu o.e.ic.oo,
octi?????k,l, a, lull wl
Something
NEW
Indaspenslhlo to every family.
Bells nt altfht wherever offered.
IClssr??'lgl0.7athafirst??J*y (I. i, Whites Ills.
i n??ko*S loSO. c'aUyJVUir* N IT. F.udlSJtrkAaf,??? ???
told jo In & calls. II ????? !????.???'??? la. M* ??? ..
canoiaho iyx>. lOKuoaosyrtr ilctr. |,. A. Illpollls ItA
CONSUMPTION.
T IIAVKA POeiTIVK KKrtSuy Fiji; n[k
I above ilta<w*o; by tt??iue tfiou??niifJ of nw of
the worst kt wa and of lung ruudliig linvo boon
"tin-tl. IiitUrd, so strung i.< o??y faith In ita t-in
jury that i will rend TWO B???*TTLBd FREE, to*
getnor with a VALIIAHKTKKATI8B on this dia-
LSQUID GLUE.
? Vl ???.QUALLPoron CEM*- NTINO
ra.-yjw'. I A'.'.i. CHINA, PAPFU, LK ATI IEH, '???<!-
$3 10 $18 AGENTS WANTED
CLEVELAND
AND
Complete, Ometal* lilts-
tratfd Life, by (!ul. IViinlS
Tri|ilrlt,sMi>ted bjr faiallh.e aii<1 frfoud* of tlio
iIIHIid uIm mI cttiidldali m. Get THIS IIKST1 Outfit
nw to those
???- rr . _e tioolc yot??
ritf quick for cerrntars. or ??end Mo. for
aromrrtu. M, Illnlne .'c I.ugitn l>n??k takes tlio
lead, slid llifts'.??? Marveloua pue-bat Slnnnnls ai-
w-yssel|. Address W.fl.Tlinmnaon, Publisher,
401 Arrh nr.. pMisd..i. hu, p*
BockfobdWatches
AreuntqunUrd in EXACTING. *CIl VIOB*
Useri *??v tho Chief
Meclu: 'cltiii ut the
U. b. Cue. % Hurvirl
ho admlrsl
??? molding In the
IJ.r* Nuvttl
??? r> for Astro*
1*10.11 work t nnd
Kngln
Mint Kail-
... blch close
tlmo nnd durability i
Hold In ???
THE SCIENCE OF LIFE.
ONLY 81.00 BY MAIL, POST PAID,
A GRKAT MFiniCA-X* WORK
ON MANHOOD.
rzh.nnwl VlUlIt,. Ktr.'iu. ??ml Pn/.li??l D??
bllll,. I'rrni.tnr. In line In Mail, Krrr.n. ol Yoatb,
-urtlbennu.ld r?????
don. or 1-,(.,*??. Jbbmk hit merr m.a, /'IUtlf,
o.lddlr ??*<???>) .litfoW. Ilr.ml.ln.li. pAKrlpitaul
lor .11 xot. ki??I ckronli tilraw, pcs M. 01
??? * - ??? nml In thn Author,
probably
??? ... _ any pnrslcian,8QI
hound in t-eatlfiil French miu-ifn, c iUww-
ed rovers. Ini! gilt, gnaranu-cd u> be a finer work,
in every w-nae???rneehanfi-el, dthrary and pro fee-
???tonal???tban sny other work vow In thin ???miry
for 12X0, or t!??e money will !*e refund. ! in even
luftiHir ?rlif only fl^lH*y null, jmt pvl. Il
lustrative ssmple six '-rtiu. K*uid*iiow. tiold
medal awarded the antbor l??y tbe National ^r^dP
cal Association to tbe ofifon* of which lie n-ff???W.
The F-fovuw of Life should he read by tho \ ounf
.jt Irstnulion, an.l by the afflicted for relict II
will t-cncflt sit??? London
Then- ta no member of society to whom The
brienre of Life will not be tiM-fni. whether youth,
parent, gnardleo, Inatruct >r ??? r ??? ??? m i Atjo-
Bent.
Addrvaa the Prabody Mcdtcal liu>U(ut??. or Dr. W.
0. Faner, No.4BbUtocbstri-??? t. t. who
ay tC'M.sulted on aU d>->. * wpiir / skfU
_???*( experience. CThronte ???????! .dwtfoale ??? f*. .a??a
Hat hgve bellied th# skilled all UTp. A f ???that
phythtaii* * si-vUtlty. PuehU-CI LJtreat.
???InUJ wUhoul ??u -TH???VFlTnr.F