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HUMOR OU K. Rich folks has er cuis way o'' bey in' de Bible. One day er hongry feller went ter a well fed man's house an' say, says lie, “ 'member de po’” “Oh, I ain't forgot yer,” says de well-fed man, says z.e. “No, sail, I ain't forgot yer. I’ll ailus reeolleck yer, but dat's ail.” _ New York Sun : “My dear,” remon strated a w ife, peering out from under the bed clothes. “I do wish you would use the w ord ‘shook’ It sounds better.” “It may sound better at times,” re plied her husband, who was noisily nursing his heel, “but when a man steps on a tack he want's the old ver sion.” “Now, Mary,” said a father to his daughter w ho had a lover of the nev- cr-go-hom at-a decent-time-of-night kind, “1 have no objection to your bringing company to the house, but I don’t want to see that Keely motor beau of yours here again'; that’s flat.” “My what beau?” “Your Keely motor beau.” “Why do you call him by such a name?” “Because he is one of those chaps that won't go. Boston Transcript: He had fallen iito the stream, and had already sunk once and was going down a second i ime, when a brave man leaped into the angry waiters and laid hold of the unfortunate one. The latter looked at his rescuer in a beseeching manner and gasped, “I beg, my dear sir, that you will permit me to sink once more —in the interest of literary tradition, you know. No person I ever read of was ever rescued until he was going down the third time. I may die, but I shall have the satisfaction of know ing that 1 have not departed from a time-honored and revered custom.” What James Did.—One day a very pious clerical friend, w r ho had consum ed an hour of his valuable time in small talk, said to James Harper, the publisher: “Brother Harper, I am curious to know how you four men distribute the duties of the establish ment between you.” “John”, said Mr. Harper, good humoredly, “at- tends to the finances, Wesley to the correspondence, Fletcher to the gen- - ral bargaining with authors and oth ers. and don't you tell anybody,” he said, drawing his chair still closer and lowering the tone of his voice, “I en- tertain the bores.”—Brooklyn Maga zine. “Can any little boy or girl tell me why the lions would not hurt Daniel?” said a gentleman addressing a Sun day-school. “1 know,' 1 said one bright little fellow, holding up his hand. “And what was the reason, my lit tle man?” said the speaker, stepping forward, with his face in a joyous glow. “Speak up loud, so that all may hear you; why wouldn’t the lions bite Daniel?” “I guess it was ’coz he b'longed to the circus.” The sedateness of the occasion was interrupted.—Chicago Ledger. Boston Courier: First Impecunious Individual—Ha! glad to see you. Was out last night and feel the need of a strengthcner this morning. Have been waiting impatiently for a friend to come along. Wife went through my pockets and didn’t leave me a cent. Second I. I.—Am in precisely the same fix. What's to be done ? First I. I.—I ain sure I don't know. I am not known in this neighborhood, or 1 might be able to obtain tempora ry credit and set 'em up. Second I. I.—I am known in this neignborhood, or I might obtain tem- pory credit and set ’em up. They separate. Boston Courier: Texas Lady (after a short journey on the railroad)— “Why, John, they’ve got a new con ductor on the cars, and he's a Boston man.” Texas Gent—“How d’ye know lie’s a Boston man?” T. L. (withagurgle of delight) “Why, when he came round for my fare he lifted his cap and said, ‘Excuse me, madam, but I would esteem it a favor if you would kindly oblige me with your ticket.’ So different from the oid way of ‘Chuck me your paste board.'* I’ll never ride with any other conductor after this. T. G. (mentally)—’’That fellow'll be having all the woman running after him. He'll have to be shot. A Generous Guest. “Did you see anything of a pocket- book that I dropped somewhere in the bed-room 1 occupied last night, land lord?'’ “Any money in in it?” “About $500.” “Yes, sir. Here is your pock- etbook, with the money. The maid was honest enough to bring it to me, and 1 locked it up in the safe." “Ah! very correct proceeding—very. I had intended placing the money in a savings bank this morning, where it would have been drawing 4 per cent. As a reward for your honesty I will say nothing about the interest for the time it has been in your possession, and you can make it square with the chambermaid. There is nothing small about me when I run across a man who seems to be trying to do what’s right.” A Level-headed Girl. “Say that you will be mine, dearest Angelina.” “1 Avill, upon one condition.*’ “Name it, my adored, and if it were to get you the moon—” “It is easier than that; in brief, simply this: that you will invite me to spend a month in your father's house previous to our marriage.” “Of course, certainly; but why make such a strange request?” “Well, I wish to learn to cook like vour mother.” Agricultural Implements ® —AND— <3-TT JLIM OS I As the prosperity of every country depends upon the success of agriculture, and realizing the necessity of tliet ho rough br ea 'ing o land and cultivation of the crop, I have supplied mjse mi l a large lot of two and one horse Plows of the best makes, con sis ing o the Syracuse, Benton k Harber, White’s Clipper, Weikle s Blue Pony and the Boss, and I also have a large lot of Steel Plows, Haiman and Southern Plow Stocks, single and double, and farming implements generally. To all who use Guano, I would recommend the Chesapeake or Pendleton Goods! And to all who would like to have a Pump put in their wells, would recommend the Buckeye I orce Pump, which mysell others have been using with perfect satisfaction for I and some ibove many 0 time. All who wish to supply themseives with any Ox the articles will do well to call and examine my stock and geo m\ puces before buying elsewhere zecxiteis- Milledgeville, Ga., Jan. 26th, 1886. 29 1} How She Felt. “And so you have received a divor ce from that vagabond husband of yours, Mrs. Smith?” “Yes, I am glad to say that I have.” “Didn’t you feel quite overpowered when you heard the decision of th* Judge?” “Not exactly. I felt sort of unman ned, so to speak.” PARKER’S HAIR BALSAM the popular favorite for dressing; the hair. Restoring color when gray, and preventing Dandruff. It cleanses the scalp, stops the Lair falling, and is sure to please. 60c. and ELOOnt Druggists. PA R K E R ; *S TON tC The best Cough Cure you can use, And the best preventive known for Consumption. It euros bodily pains, and all disorders of the Stomach, Bowels, Lungs, Liver, Kidneys, Urinary Organs and all Female Complaints. The feeble and sick, strug gling against disease, and slowly drifting towards the grave, will in most cases recover their health by the timely use of Pabesu’s Tonic, but delay is dan gerous. Take it in time. Sold by all Druggists in largo bottles at $1.00. HINDERCORNS The safest, surest, quickest and best cure for Corns, Bunions,Warts, Moles, Callouses,&c. Hinderstheir far- thergrowth. Stops all pain. Gives no trouble. Makes the feet comfortable. Hindercorns cures when everything vies fails. Sold by Druggists at 16c. ILiscox & Co., N- v Aug. 11th, 1885. 5 ly New Advertisements. their easi- and mple of the work sent for stamp. Address HOME M’F'G CO , P. O. Box 1910, Boston, Mass. TC WANT SALESMEN everywhere, local and traveling, to sell our goods. Will pay good salary and all expenses. Write for terms at once, and state salarv wanted. Address STANDARD SILVER WARE COM PANY, Washington Street, Boston Mass. CONSUMPTION. I have a positive remedy for the above dleeaso; by its ubo thousands of cases ol the worst kind and of long standing have been cured, t mined, so strong Is my faith in Its efficacy, that I will send TWO BOTTLES FREE, together with a VAT.TTABLE TREATISE on this disease to uuy sufferer. Give express and P. O. address. DR. T. A. SLOCUM, 181 Pearl St., New York. Brick! Brick! Brick! 1,000,000 FIRST-CLASS BRICK for SALE. OARTIES intending to build on the line t f the Georgia or Central Railroads, would & do well to consult us before making a contract. ^ # First-Glass Paving Brick a Specialty. We are making Brick with the latest Improved Machinery, on the celebrated Cara- jrpr VTPli BBICK DELIVERED TO ANY PAET OF TOWN. *rWe take pleasure in referring to Maj. -L FUSS, Architect and Bufldiug Superin- “ FOSTER & McMILLAN, Contractors and Builders. MiJJedgevIlle, Ga., June 10th, 1885. 48 ly —Pleasure and Profit to All!— J-OZEEClSr IT. IT Watches and Clocks repaired. Optician, Jeweler»Engraver. 7 Watches and Clocks repaired. 729 Broad Street, Opposite Central Hotel, Augusta, Ga. THIRTY YEARS experience in fitting lenses in Spectacles makes the Optician Department Complete. Sole Agent for Diamond Spectacles. Dealer in Reliable Jewelry. Also Silver-Plated Ware at the Lowest Prices. ^"Personal attention to all monogram engraving. April 7th, 1885. 39 ly. HI. JEt. SOH3STEIDBE,, —IMPORTER!— —Wholesale and Retail Dealer In— Fine Wines, Cigars, Brandies, Tobacco, Mineral Waters, Whiskies, Gin, Porter, Ale, Etc. 601 and 802 Broad Street, JC3“Agent for Veuve Clicquot Ponsardln, for the Anheuser-Busch Br< Lager Beer kept in stock. Dec. 15th, 1885. AUGUSTA, GA. Urbans Wine Company. Also, sole Agent rewing Association, St. Louis, Mo. Special Brewings 23 ly. UNIMENT <y Hoarseness, I Diarrhoea, Ki PARSONS’S PILLS * ... " in the world. Will noHitivp’vr MAKE NEW, _ _ BLOOD. ThieBe”piU8 were a wonderful discovery. No < relieve all manner of diaecoo. Th. Liformation—•-—— -—— rdUaTpindout about then and you will always be tbankfol. One pUla d foea Sold everywhere, or sent by mail for 25o. in stamps. Dr. I. 3. JOHNSON &CO., fffieridan’s Condition Powder is absolutely pure and highly con- oentrated. One ounce is worth a pound of any other Rind.. It is strictly a medicine to be given with food. Bold everywl jin rtfi-na by express, No others like them In the world. Will positively around each box is worth ton times the cost of a £ ... ... - - , ose._ Illustrated paaptj 22 C.H. St..B^ fUpHs UK HERS Ur Is worth in gold. Li^;- . . A H _ book by m&ivb'P 4 - here, or sent by mail for £5 cents in stamps. 21-4 jQHNsbJPA cpress, prepaid, for $5.00. »• & CO.. 32 ly Feb. 10, 1886. New Drug Store. If any one desires JL 0*0013 Call at KENAN'S DRUG STORE, And try one of those I have just received. I keep First Class Chewing Tobacco, CIGARETTES, ETC. If the ladies will call at THE NEW DRUG STORE, They can get New, Fresh, Baking Powders, Cream of Tarter, Soap COLOGNE, Of the best quality, and any other article usually kept in a DRUG STORE. T. H. KENAN. Milledgeville, Ga., January 26th, 1886. 29 3m BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL. JOSEPH MILLER, —Dealer In THE FARQUHAR COTTON PLANTER. its CAUSES and CUBIC, by one who was deaf twenty-eight years Treated by most of the noted spec ialists of the day with no benefit.. Cured himself in three months, and since then hun dreds of others by same process. A plain, sim ple and successful home treatment. Address T. S. PAGE, 128 East 26th St., New York City. I CURE FITS! When I say cur© I do not mean merely to stop thorn for a time and then have them return again, I mean a radical cure. I have made the disease of FITS. EPI LEPSY or FALLING SICKNESS a life-long study I warrant my remedy to cure the worst cases. Because Dthers have failed is no reason for not now receiving a Jure. Send at once for a treatise and a Free Bottle of my infallible remedy. Give Express and Pont Office. It costs you nothing for a trial, and I will cure you. Address Dr. H. G. BOOT, 1S3 Pearl St., New York. WANTED IN MILLEDGEVILLE, an energetic business woman to solicit ami take orders for The IF k fS A .11E GHSSWO Ij 13 * Pa tent Skirt-Supiiertinir dor- set*. These corsets have been extensively advertised and sold EXCELS ALL OTHERS. It is simple in construction and can be handled easily by ordinary farm hands. Drops the unrolled seed with perfect regularity and in any desired amount. Never skips. Opens, drops and covers. Send for price. A. B. FARQUHAR & CO., Manufacturers of Machinery and Wholesale Hardware Merchants, Macon. : : : : : February 19tb, 1886. Georgia. 361y. Land For Sale. O NE thousand four hundred and seventy acres of land in the center of Wilcox county, Ga., all in one body, all fine farming land if put in by lady canvassers t he past ten j cultivation, though at present, it is one ft ^ fife J THE* GREAT UeftMAN Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, backache, Hf adaclie, Toothache, Sprains, Bruises, etc,, etc. PRICE. FIFTY CENTS. AT DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS, THE CHARLES A. TOGELER CO., BALTI310UK, KD. For Pain MARK. flpPfW ^lliiafl^ Absolutely Absolutely Opiates, Emetics and Poison, Free from SAFE. SURE. PROMPT. AT Devoomtb and Dealeis. THE CHARLES A. YOtiELEB CO, DALIIHOEE,HD. Dec. 22,1885. 24 ly years, which, with their, superiori ty. has created a large demand lor them throughout the United States, and any lady who will give her time and energy to canvassing for them can soon build up a permanent and projltalite business. They are not sold by mer chants, and we give exclusive territory. Thereby giving the agent entire control of these superior corsets in the territory assigned her. We have a large number of agents who are making a grand success selling these goods, and we desire such in every town. Address Mm:. Griswold & Co., 923 Broadway, New York. 36 4t Family and Fancy Groceries! T HAVE OPENED a Family and 1 Fancy Grocery and Confectionery Store under Clerk of Court’s office, where I will be pleased to see my friends and the public generally. T. A. CARAKER. - Milledgeville, Feb. 2d, 1886. 30 4t. A I Furniture Repaired. HAVE returned to Milledgeville, after an absence of many years, and opened a shop under Mrs. Woot- ten’s store to carry on my trade, and am prepared to do upholstering, and repairing furniture. SsTAlso un dertaking. Give me a call. R. N. ADAMS. Milledgeville, Ga., Jan., 9th 1886. [27tf Car Load of Nails. T HAVE JUST RECEIVFD a car 1 load of Nails which I will sell as cheap as they can be had anywhere, at wholesale or retail. JOSEPH STALEY: Milledgeville, Feb., 15th, 1886. [32 It of the finest timbered bodies of land in Southwest, Ga. No ponds or lakes, has never failing water, nine miles west of the Ocmulgee river. Or I will rent for a Turpentine farm. For terms and price, apply to 15. W. SCOTT, Milledgeville, Ga. March 16th, 1886. 36 6m. For Sale or Exchange. HOUSE AND LOT, situated on one of the highest points in the city of Milledgeville. Lot contains nearly two acres, the finest well of water in the city, also a large cistern. The house has seven rooms, there are also three out houses, and fine garden spot. One of the healthiest and most pleasant homes in the city, being on an elevated place, the scenery is splendid, and no obstructions to the breeze: outlet on three different streets. Will sell on reasonable terms or ex change for a smaller place. If pur chaser wishes, he can sell two or three building lots. BETHUNE & MOORE, Real Estate Agents. Milledgeville, Jan. 29, 1886. tf. W HY! WH CONTINUE TO HAVE BAD Yll COFFEE Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, Cutlery, CROCKERY, ETC. I have filled my store with new, useful and beantiful articles such as enter Inti a businesslike mine, and I intend to sell them at prices as LOW as any other similar establishment In Georgia. I MEAN WHAT I SAY! And you have only to price my goods to be eouvinced, My stock, principally, con sists of Watches, Clocks, Solid Silver and plated ware, Crockery of every style at. Pattern, Spectacles, Musical Instruments of all kinds, indeed, every kind of goo* of the best quality, usually found in a First-Class Jewelry store. 'Many beautify goods can be found here.’suitable.for presents. Call at the BLUE STORE and you will be treated kindly and with attention. I have an experienced Watchmaker and Jeweller, Mr. James Cotney. Repairing a specialty, and satisfaction guaranteed. JOSEPH MILLER. Milledgeville, Ga.. Jan. 5, 1886. 26 3m WHEN BY USING LEVERINC’S You Will Always Have It Good. GROCERS SELL IT. SSfBend 10c. In stamps for a complete set of Levering’* New Cards (60 original designs). JE. LEVERING & CO.. BALTIMORE, MB. March, 16th, [36 3t. m $ „ .0 13 Geo. JR, Bombard ^ Go., Forest City Foundry and Machine Works, Near the Water Tower, 1014 to 1026 Fenwick St., Augusta, Ga, Saw Mills, Grist Mills, Cane Mills, Plantation Machinery, Engines, Boilers, Cotton Screws, Shafting, Pulleys, Hangers, Journal Boxes, Mill Gearing, Gudgeons, Turbine Water Wheels, Gin Gearing, Judson’s Goveru- ors, Disston s Circular Saws and Gummers and Files, Belting and Babbit! Metal and Brass Fitting Globe and Check Valves, Whistles, Gauges, Iron and Brass Castings and Gin Ribs and Injectors. Repairing promptly done at Lowest Prices. WA cast every dav both Iron and Brass havin'" great ly increased our capacity with latest* improved tools. We are running full time with 100 hands, which enables us to fill orders promptly at Lowest I rices. Ti\e us a trial before sending elsewhere. Agents for Georgia and South Carolina for a Knorting’s Universal Injectors, The Best Boiler Feeder Out. Works with one lever. Will work warm or cold water, and will lift water. Warranted to give satisfaction. Send for circulars before you buy any other. They are better than a pump. [March 23, 1886 * 37 ly C. P. CRAWFORD, Attorney aid Real Estate Apt M ONEY advanced to early callers, on farm securities. Superior ad vantages for putting your surplus lands on the market. There is no de mand here. Purchasers must be found abroad. Milledgeville, March 2,1886. 34 tf BEANS ^VURE Biliousness; Sick Headache In Four hours. VJy One dose relieves Neuralgia. They cure and RrAa»h pre r^ nt Fevor, Sour Stomach 4> Bad i Mn a i h vi Cle . ar .l h ® Skin. Tone the Nerves, and give Life Vigor to the system. Dos©: ONE BEAN. Try them once and you will never be without them. E rl ce,, 26 cents per bottle. Sold by Druggists and Medicine Dealers generally. Sent on reselpt of price in stamps, postpaid, to any address, * J. F. SMITH A CO., Manufacturers and Solo Props., ST. LOUIS, MO. February 22, 1886. [33 i y /CIGARETTES and Cigarette holders O at C. L. CASE’S Drug Store. Milledgeville, Ga„ Jan. 26,1886. 43 ly Day 4* Tmmahill, —Are now Receiving a Fine Assortment of— Carriages - and - Buggies! FOE THE SPRING TBADE, AT PRICES TO SUIT THE TIMES! And Never Before Attained in tie History of tie Bnsiness. We are enabled to give our Customers every advantage by pm* chasing our goods at the Closest Possible Cash Prices. Call and be convinced. Children’s Carriages in Great Variety! The finest assortment of HANDBAGS and SATCHELS ever br m1 gh w-? the Sfe, Trunks, Whips and Umbrellas. The Wilson Child s & Co.’s Philadelphia Wagons, all sizes. Tennessee Wagons, 1, 2 and 4 Horse. Day & Tannahill’s One and Two Horse Wacons EXPRESS AND DELIVERY WAGONS ” Axles, Springs, Hubs, Spokes, &e. Rubber Belting and Packing. Hoyt s Leather Belting. The best in the World Lacing, Rivets, etc. Oak and Hemlock Sole Leather. Calf and Lining Skins, Lasts, Thread Cement ete HARNESS AND SADDLES. We’caUparticuiar attention to our Harness Department, in which we excel in quality and price. DAY & TANNAHILL, kX?,1 735 Broad Street > Augusta, G*-