Newspaper Page Text
\ ASK ME ? ?
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_ J A General Quiz B
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1. What color are germs?
2. Why are raindrops round?
3. How many strings are usual¬
ly found on a harp?
4 . Do the Japanese cherry trees
in Washington, D. C., bear fruit?
5. Were Jordan almonds named
after the Jordan river?
6. What doctor first discovered
that diseas^ could be traced by
chest sounds?
The Answers
1. They are colorless.
2. Because the characteristics
of liquids is that the particles stick
as closely together as possible.
3. Usually 46.
4. Rarely do they bear fruit.
5. No. The name is derived
from “jardyne almaunde,” mean¬
ing cultivated almond.
6. Hippocrates.
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the FICTION corner
THE PORK BANDIT
By DEE RANDALL
TO’ OSEY COLLINS, as you know,
is the Number One Egoist of
the day. Just as Napoleon once laid
claim to the title. But that was back
in the 17th or 18th century. And no¬
body bothers much about him
any more. Except tho,se who like to
dig and delve into fnusty old history'
books.
Napoleon had only an Empire to
conquer. Nosey had a newspaper
office and an ever-loving Tillie as
his territorial grounds.
It’s true, it proved rather expen¬
sive this ego-building business. But
no matter the cost, Nosey is ac¬
claimed as a self-made man. One of
the finest men on the staff of the
Daily Gazette.
Besides Tillie and the newspaper
office, it must be revealed, Nosey
has still another love. She now lay
cozily in her private retreat . . . the
right hand drawer of Nosey’s desk.
There was a quiet purr as Nosey
patted the soft, dirty white fur on
This
Week's
Best
Fiction
was
one other thing that would rouse
this reflexing feline. That was the
smell of boloney or liver, even from
the farthest corner of the ink-smat
tered city room.
Originally from the restaurant on
the corner where she was expected
to rid the place of mice and make
herself generally useful, she had
found refuge in Nosey’s comfort¬
able desk drawer. The clatter of
dishes and hustle bustle of the
crowded restaurant had proved too
much for her sensitive nerves.
Nosey stopped his tender patting.
This annoyed Dermie no end. Rais¬
ing her head, which was more en¬
ergy than she cared to use, she
Derked a quizzical eye at him.
“Dermie,” Nosey spoke seriously,
“If we could get a beat on this Pork
Bandit case, we’d sure have some¬
thing.”
Dermie’s answer was an assent¬
ing hiss.
“Seven butcher shops in seven
days,” Nosey went on, “that’s a
record for any criminal. He’s
plenty nervy, too. Sent them all a
notice beforehand. He’s got the
cops in a quandary. Must be a
ghost bandit.” Here he snickered
scornfully at the idea of a ghost
ransacking a cash register and
sticking a butcher knife in a man’s
back.
“What puzzles me,” Nosey went
on with his one-sided conversation,
“is how he gets in and out with the
cash right under their eyes. And
why does he always pick on pork
“I caosswonn PUZZLE t”
Horizontal
1 1,760 yards
5 To encourage
9 To put on
12 Persian poet
13 Girl’s name
14 To obtain
laboriously
15 Sacred word
16 Large cross
18 To seize •
20 Molten lava
22 Thailand
24 Isinglass
27 To engrave
29 Twofold
31 High craggy
hill
32 Capital of
New Caledo¬
nia (var.)
34 Edge of a hill
36 Symbol for
nickel
37 Irrigation
ditch
39 Italian tenor
41 Note in the
chromatic
scale
42 Foreteller
44 European
song thrush
45 Consumed
47 Layer of
metal
49 Spanish coin
50 Author of
“Fighting
Men”
52 Numbered
disk
54 By
55 Tavern
57 Third person
of the Hindu
trinity
59 French for
“and”
61 Slang: roll of
paper money
63 Ireland
65 Unaspirated
67 Before
68 Part of the
skeleton
69 Tardy
Vertical
1 Cow’s cry
2 Unripeness
3 Note of scale
4 To be wrong
Dermie was the
nickname for Hy¬
podermic. A name
fitting to the over¬
sized cat because
you really had to
stick a needle in
her to make her
stir.
Solution In Next Issue.
l 2 3 4 5 6 8 9 J 10 fil
u V
F 13 14
IS H 21 n 16 17 n n 18 19
22 33 24 25 26 '
27 32 28 33 n 29 30 n H 31
34 35 36
37 38 39 40
41 P 40 i 42 43 n 44 f
45 47 48 49
50 51 n 52’ 53 n 54
55 56 ftl 57 58 P 59' 60 ‘
61 62 63 64 65 66
67 68- 69
No. 28
5 To shun
6 To smear
7 Teutonic
deity
8 Light brown
9 Entry in an
account
10 Correct
11 Compass
point
17 Symbol for
osmium
19 Part of
“to be”
21 Highest point
23 Grape refuse
25 Uniform
26 Vocal solo
27 To ensnare
28 Barnyard
fowls
30 Clayey soil
33 Slang: holes
in-one
35 Shawl
38 Careful
attention
40 Part of the
eye
stores? The same chain all the
time. If we could get to the bottom
of that, we’d be getting some
place.”
Dermie’s boredom with this con¬
versation was evident. She settled
back on the comfortable pillow in¬
stalled in the drawer. But not be¬
fore looking at the empty plate be¬
fore her. Soon she was snoring
peacefully. She knew the plate
would be filled later on.
'V''
The stranger’s hand quivered nervously as Nosey motioned him
to a chair.
Nosey read and reread the un¬
signed note on his desk. “Maybe
I’ll be able to get a lead out of this
after all,” he reflected. Some butch¬
er has received a note saying his
store would be next. He was coming
in to speak with the editor. The edi¬
tor had turned the whole business
over to Nosey disgustedly. News
seldom walked right into a news¬
paper office. Leads that came in by
mail might better have been called
“misleads.” Usually some quack
seeking publicity.
Grim determination could be seen
in the set of Nosey’s features. The
editor had faith in him. He would
have to get to the bottom of this
thing. As number one egoist, he felt
certain he could.
AN INDIGNANT public was be
coming boisterous in their vehe¬
ment denials of this Pork Bandit
who slew and robbed at regular daily
intervals. The editor had hinted at
a bonus or something equally satis¬
fying financially to the guy who got
a lead on this story. It would sure
come in handy, Nosey dreamed.
Next month he and Tillie were get¬
ting married.
A glint of happiness filled his usu¬
ally placid eyes. Sweet Tillie with
her flaxen curls. And how she could
cook! Nosey’s mouth watered in an¬
ticipation of the daily meals, like
those he had already 1 sampled at
Tillie’s little apartment.
Dermie opened drowsy eyes and
1 looked reflectively at the still empty
43 Dried grape
46 To leave out
48 Eastern state
51 Printer's
measure
53 55
56 Beak
58 Wholly
Answer to Puxzlo Number SI
0 M E T B N A I A R
M A R E 1 E D E L E
A T N S E 'Ri L A
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s E R i iE|i dk D E c K
Series H-4J
CLEVELAND COURIER
60 Golfer’s
mound
61 You and I
62 Land
measure
64 Artificial
language
66 Babylonian
deity
plate. She let out a growling hiss
and rousing herself, waddled off in¬
dignantly. She wasn’t used to such
shabby treatment.
Nosey had no time to worry over
this breach of friendship in Der¬
mie’s indignant stamping off. In
fact, she was back in a few mo¬
ments, rubbing her face against his
pants leg as a reminder of her
gnawing vitals. She hadn’t been fed
in two hours.
Nosey paid no attention to her
pleading. He was waiting for the
stranger who was to visit him. At
precisely^three o’clock, as the note
stated, a tall, shabbily dressed man
appeared. His dark hair was
sleeked neatly back, but otherwise
he was hardly a picture of sartorial
elegance.
“Mr. Collins? You received my
note?” Nosey noticed the stranger’s
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hand quivered nervously as he
beckoned him towards a chair. He
took the paper the man handed
him.
“I’m manager of the store on
East 80th street. Received this note
early this morning. I left the place
and hurried right down here as
soon as I could. Didn’t have time to
change my clothes,” he looked
down apologetically.
“Your store will be next. This
afternoon,” the note read. It was
signed: “The Pork Bandit.”
Nosey scanned the writing care¬
fully. Nothing there to give much oi
a clue. “Have you seen the police?”
“No sir, thought I’d speak to you
first. They seem to be getting no¬
where fast,” he laughed ruefully.
“There has been a note before each
crime, you know,” he reminded
him. Nosey, absent-mindedly pat¬
ted Dermie’s neck. She stirred,
looked languidly at the visitor and
dozed off again.
Nosey asked him a lot of ques¬
tions and the visitor seemed anx¬
ious to supply all the details pos¬
sible. “I’m flattered you have so
much confidence in us," Nosey told
him. “Will you pardon me a mo¬
ment while I get my notebook. I
want to jot down all the information
you can give me.”
Now Nosey never bothered with
a notebook. Any old piece of copy
paper did for the hottest scoop.
Outside the city room, Nosey
headed for a telephone booth. He
made a call, picked up a notebook
from a protesting stenographer and
returned to his nervously waiting
visitor.
He wrote down sentences scrupu¬
lously, making sure to dot every
“i” and cross every “t.” To anyone
looking on, it was evident Nosey
was stalling for time.
It was only a matter of a few
minutes before the two husky cops
arrived. A pair of handcuffs were
clinched on the now sputtering visi¬
tor who demanded to know the
meaning of this.
“Here, boys,” Nosey addressed
the cops, “is your Pork Bandit.” He
kind of sneered over the name as
only a real egoist could do.
The man suddenly stopped bat¬
tling. “How did you know?” he
asked.
“Well, you see,” Nosey drawled,
his five feet four swaying magnifi¬
cently, “you said you just came
from your pork store. When Der¬
mie woke up and just went right
back to sleep again, I knew that
was a lie. If you had really come
from there, she would have been
over there sniffing your pants and
licking your leg, maybe even chew¬
ing a piece out of it. It’s past her
meal time now,” he smiled down
fondly at Dermie who had stirred
at mention of her name, looking ex¬
pectantly at the empty plate.
He went on: “Then you told me
some details that the police have
carefully guarded from the public.
Nobody but the Pork Bandit himself
could have known them.”
The man hung-his head despair
ingly. “I used to own half of the
chain of stores,” he spoke bitterly.
“Until my partner swindled me out
of my share. It was the only way I
knew of to get back what really be¬
longed to me.”
For a moment Nosey’s gaze was
sympathetically bent towards the
man’s back as they led him away.
Then he returned to Dermie.
“Have patience, old girl,” he pat
ted her head. When he returned,
there was an extra cushion in Der
mie’s drawer domicile and a brand
new plate. It has two sprightly mice
painted on it. This has caused no
end of concern to Dermie, who,
minus her once sharp teeth, can’t
figure out just how to bite into the
little rascals. She doesn’t have any
trouble with the extra helpings of
boloney, though.
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