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Page 4 — Wednesday, July 8, 2009, The Millen News
Opinions, yours and ours
The Chatter Box
By Deborah Bennett
Well, the “dog days” of summer have arrived, the period between
early July and early September. If you are from the south, you know
what the “dog days” are - the hottest and most humid days of sum
mer, but do you know where the term originated?
Sirius, the “dog star,” constellation rises and sets with the sun.
During late July, Sirius is in conjunction with the sun, and ancient
populations believed that the star's heat added to the heat of the sun,
creating a stretch of hot and sultry weather. They named this period
of time, 20 days before and after Sirius’ conjunction with the sun,
“dog days” after the dog star.
I always thought the term referred to the seeming laziness of dogs
during the hottest days of the summer. Of course, that could apply to
humans as well. Few of us want to venture outside when the tem
perature is nearing the 100 degree mark as it has recently done.
I think the dogs have the right idea! Just take it easy during “dog
days.”
The poll question on our website last week was, "Do you think
improvements to Cotton Avenue provided through the City of Millen’s
Transportation Enhancement grant will bring more business to down
town merchants?”
Responses, as of Monday morning, were as follows: Yes -11; No
- 37; and Undecided - 4.
To participate in this week’s poll, go to http://
www.themillennews.com.
Happy birthday this week to: Bryce R. Lane, Matthew Goodwin,
Barbara Davis, Helen Wilson, Emily Williams, Bradley Black,
Harriett Cato, Alvin Burke, Bill Jones Jr., Elly Motes, Sarah Griffin
and Nelda Mae Hopkins.
Celebrating wedding anniversaries this week are: Mr. and Mrs.
George Dudley, Mr. and Mrs. Wayne Bennett and Mr. and Mrs.
Rodney Collins.
Military Active Duty List: PV2 Jeremy Johnson, U.S. Army, 59 th
Quartermaster Company, Ft. Carson, Colorado; Ronnie Perryman,
Charlie Troop, 108 th Calvary Division, 4 th Platoon, Afghanistan;
Lance Cpl. Adam Lanier, U.S. Marines, 8 th & I Marine Barracks,
Washington, D.C.; E-4 Sr. Airman Roy Davis, U.S. Air Force, RAF
Molesworth, United Kingdom; Lance Cpl. Patrick Barnette, U.S.
Marines, Baharia, Iraq; Sgt. Adam Demshar, 44th Signal Battalion,
Baghdad, Iraq; Cpl. Lee Ogden, U.S. Marines, Camp Pendleton,
CA; E5 Petty Officer 2 nd Class Eric B. Kelsey, U.S. Navy, NSA
Naples, Italy; Senior Airman Charles F. Woods, Moody Air Force
Base, Valdosta, GA; Stuart Burrus, U.S. Air Force, Barksdale AFB,
Bossier, LA; SPC 4 Travis D. Motes, 1 st Calvary Division, T. Hood,
Texas; Capt. Donald Slade Burke, 735th Air Mobility Squadron
Detachment 1 Commander, Richmond Royal Australian AFB, Rich
mond, Australia; Staff Sgt. Gilbert C. Sheppard III, 48th Brigade,
118th Field Artillery, Iraq; Petty Officer 3rd Class Jamie A. Yager,
U.S. Navy, Marine Corps Base Hawaii; Petty Chief Officer Andy
D. Crosby, U.S. Navy, Elroy Destroyer, Norfolk, Va.; Stephanie
Crosby, R.N., U.S. Navy, Lafayette Destroyer; Jimmy Cooper, U.S.
Army National Guard, 878th Engineering Battalion-Augusta, Per
sian Gulf ; 1st Lt. J.R. Taylor, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 25th
Infantry Division, Iraq; SPC. Daniel Stuart, 18th MEDCOM, 121
General Hospital, Seoul, Korea; Jeffrey Sweat, U.S. Navy, USS
Kauffman, MM3 59/E-Division, A-Gang, Norfolk, Va.; Cpl. Larry
Lamont Clark, U.S. Marine Corp, 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force,
Camp Lejeune, N.C. Bagdad, Iraq; Khan Young, U.S. Navy, U.S.S.
Kitty Hawk, Persian Gulf; Robert Milton Jr., E-3, U.S. Army, Ft.
Stewart, Hinesville, Ga., Mission Kuwait; Arnold R. Mosley, 2nd
Lt., U.S. Air Force, Randolph AFB, Texas; and Debra A. Mosley,
Tech. Sgt., U.S. Air Force, Randolph AFB, Texas; and SPC Charles
“C.J.” Amerson, U.S. Army, Camp Adder, Iraq.
Letters policy
Letters to the editor of The Millen News are welcomed and
encouraged. These are pages of opinions, yours and ours.
The unsigned editorials generally appearing on the left side of
the editorial page represent the opinion of the newspaper and not
that of any one person on our staff. Personal columns represent
the opinions of the writers whose names appear on them and are
not to be considered the opinion of this newspaper, its manage
ment or owners. Letters to the editor voice the opinions of the
newspaper’s readers.
The Millen News reserves the right to edit any and all portions
of a letter. Unsigned letters will not be published. Letters must
include the signature, address and phone number of the writer to
allow our staff to authenticate its origin. Letters should be lim
ited to 400 words.
The deadline for letters is Friday at noon. You can email letters
to themillennews@yahoo.com.
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Georgia Family Council
EVADING INFIDELITY: SAFEGUARDS ARE A MUST TO PROTECT MARRIAGES IN TODAY’S SOCIETY
By Stephen Daniels
Georgia Family Council
Marriage has had a bad couple of weeks.
First we heard about Nevada Senator John Ensign’s affair with a
campaign staffer, who was also the wife of one of his legislative aides.
Then we heard about the separation and pending divorce of Jon
and Kate Gosselin whose family (including sextuplets and a set of
twins) is featured on the highly rated reality show “Jon and Kate Plus
Eight.”
And the big bombshell was the extramarital affair admitted to by
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, whose dalliance made world
wide headlines after he disappeared to Argentina to meet with his
mistress.
Of course, this type of thing isn’t just common among the famous
and powerful.
Last year, the New York Times reported some shocking statistics
about men and women who are unfaithful to their spouse. Research
ers from the University of Washington found the lifetime rate of infi
delity for men over the age of 60 increased to 28 percent from 20
percent in 1991. At the same time, the lifetime infidelity rate for women
over 60 has increased an amazing three-fold from 5 percent in 1991
to 15 percent today.
The infidelity rate among married people under 35 has also in
creased dramatically to 20 percent among men and 15 percent among
women - an increase from 15 and 12 percent, respectively, in 1991.
What is going on here?
A few days after the news about Governor Sanford broke, Gallup
released its annual poll asking Americans about the moral acceptabil
ity of 16 social issues, such as divorce, gambling, out-of-wedlock
childbearing and so forth. Of all of the issues on the list more Ameri
cans believe “manied men and women having an affair” is morally
wrong than any of the other 16 items on the list including suicide,
human cloning and even polygamy. Ninety-two percent, to be exact.
This near unanimity about the injustice of infidelity indicates a strong
moral sense in our country about the promise made in marriage. So
why do so many break it?
I’m sure it’s not because they don’t believe in marriage themselves.
Nobody gets manied to have an affair.
Infidelity is more common these days, in part, because it’s easier to
do. Once upon a time, most husbands and wives worked together in a
family business or farm. Today most people work outside the home in
close proximity to other men and women with whom they can de
velop a relationship. The workplace is the most common place for
affairs to start.
Technology has also facilitated more infidelity as email, instant
messaging and social networking sites make it easier to communicate
with others. The Internet provides easy access to pornography that
can tempt a spouse (particularly men) to act sexually outside their
marriage. There are even websites specifically designed to facilitate
extramarital affairs.
And though it’s seems a bit trite to say, it doesn’t help that we see so
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few depictions of strong, loving marriages in television and movies
today. Instead, it’s the thrill of extramarital sex that is portrayed as
appealing.
But more than anything else, I think the reason we are seeing so
much infidelity is because so many marriages are less fortified today,
even as they face all of these contemporary challenges. Many couples
do not have the safeguards in place to protect their relationship, to
keep themselves emotionally invested in their marriage so that they
can reduce the likelihood of looking for affection elsewhere.
Those of us who are manied need to evaluate our relationship with
our spouse and our closeness to members of the opposite sex. Am I
too near the edge of the cliff? Are there safeguards in place for us?
Our marriages have to be a top priority. Connectedness doesn’t just
happen; relationship and romance have to be cultivated. Most affairs
aren’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. They usually occur because of
a “creeping separateness” that settles in. A healthy maniage takes
intentionality and work to thrive.
Here are some things we can do to protect our marriages:
Keep the lines of communication open. A big part of making mar
riage a priority is talking with your spouse about your needs and
feelings. Be open and honest. There could be issues that you aren’t
even aware of, or that your spouse doesn’t see. But choose the right
time and place to do so. Most of all, listen (really listen) to what they
say.
Regularly speak words of love and encouragement to one another.
Make it a habit to say “I love you” and tell your spouse what you
appreciate about him or her. Say things in a kind and respectful way.
Take time to be together. Not just in those everyday moments, but
plan time for romance and recreation for just the two of you.
Build “hedges” around your marriage - a net of practical rules
both spouses agree to regarding relationships with others of the oppo
site sex.
Have fiends and mentors who can hold each of you accountable.
Sometimes it takes the observations and encouragement of others to
help us along and to talk things over.
The temptation to stray from marriage has always existed. But in
today’s world, opportunity and accessibility have never been as preva
lent. We have to be proactive to protect ourselves and our maniage.
As recent headlines have shown, the pain and destruction of infidel
ity is a veiy high price to pay.
Georgia Family Council is a non-profit research and education or
ganization committed to fostering conditions in which individuals,
families and communities thrive.
For more information, go to www.georgiafamily.org. (770) 242-
0001, stephen.daniels @ georgiafamily.org.
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