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CURIOUS CLAIMS.
Queer Reasons for Asking for a
Share of the Pension Fund,
The Oddity of Human Nature
Aptly Illustrated.
The oddity of human nature has
found an apt illustration in some of
the many claims for pension that have
been received under the iaw. Many
men have stretched their imaginations
as well as their consciences in their ef¬
forts to be placed on Uncle Sam’s
great and rapidly growing pension
roll. They allege every disease and
ailment known to the science of med¬
icine, and then urge the claims with
energetic persistency. Some of the
causes alleged are as odd as they are
interesting. An ex-soldier in Ohio
wrote:
“I don’t exactly know what disease
I am suffering from, but I do know
that I deserve a pension, as I am
suffering the pains of death all over
my body.”
Another veteran in West Virginia
thinks he should receive a pension be¬
cause, as he states it, during the war
he fell off a thirty-foot bridge which
resulted in “a general breaking up of
his system.” A veteran of tho Fourth
Wisconsin was salivated by reason of
an excessive use of salt pork during
his army career, and now he applies
for a pension because he “got salva¬
tion in the army,” as he puts it.
Under the provisions of the recently
passed dependent pension law it is
only necessary for a claimant to show
that he incapacitated from manual
labor, whether the causes are due to
army service or not, in order to have
his name placed on the rolls. To
show his inability to perform manual
labor, the affidavits of neighbors are
necsssary reciting that fact.
A veteran in Howard county, Md.,
sent the testimony of a neighbor, who
no doubt meant well enough, but did
not know how to express himself. Tho
latter swore to the statement that he
had known the claimant for ten years,
and that “he would not work unless
he was compelled to.” The witness
of course meant to say that claimant,
while really unable to work by reason
of his physical infirmities, was fre¬
quently compelled to attempt labor in
order to sustain himself.
The widow of a man who shouldered
a musket in the Pennsylvania Reserves
wanted a pension, and was asked if
her husband was ever wounded.
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “he received
an axe wound of the right foot. ”
Being asked to explain the circum¬
stances surrounding the wounding of
her better half, she said he cut his
foot while splitting wood. It was not
during the war that this occurred, but
in 1879, at their home in Pennsylva¬
nia. The pension attorney wanted to
know what bearing such on occur¬
rence could have upon the pension law,
and tho widow answered curtly:
“Well, sir, the axe he cut his foot
with is the same one he brought home
with him from the war. It was an
army axe.”
A rather remarkable declaration was
made by a Michigan veteran. He
stated under oatli that he picked up a
shell on the battlefield of the Wilder¬
ness and took it into his tent. While
holding the missile between his knees
examining it, the shell exploded,
“badly shattering his nervous system,”
but miraculously causing no other in¬
jury. ex-cannonier of of the
An one reg¬
ular batteries claims that he stopped
a cannon ball with his abdomen, and
has since been greatly troubled with
Btomachic disorders, The ball, he
says, was a spent one, and came bound¬
ing along, striking him squarely on
the exterior of the inner man and
nearly knocking him into the middle
of the following week.
One Gioranna, a member of the
well-known Garibaldi Guard, recites
in his application for pension that he
was “probed” by a rebel bayonet at tho
Bull Run fight, aud a Jersey cavalry
man says he was “severed” by a rebel
sabre at Spottsylvania Court House.
These are only a few of the queer
causes for pension that are daily re¬
ceived at tho department There are
thousands of others equally queer.—
[Washington Post.
A figure of speech: Money talks.
l’uss and tho Sunflsh.
Some years ago I was wandering
through an aquarium store in New
Y’ork to see what there was out of the
ordinary run, when the proprietor
said that lie had one specimen that he
would give mo if I would tako him
away. “There he is,” and pointing
to a tank I saw a beautiful sun fish,
colored with his gold, blue and bronze
tints, really a most attractive fellow.
“That fish is a terror,” continued
the man, “a bully and a cannibal. I
can’t do anything with him. He has
thrashed and killed every fish I have
put in there, driven out a big turtle,
and is now occupying a tank alone
that might hold ouo hundred fish.”
As tho fish was evidently a charac¬
ter I made up my mind to take him,
and a few days later he was domi¬
ciled in a south window in my home
and the sole occupant of a good, large
aquarium. I believe the little fellow
was not familiar with the word fear;
he was a warrior and always ready
for the fray. When I approached, in¬
stead of running away he darted to
meet my hand, and even a shadow
against the tank was sufficient to cause
his dorsal fins to stand erect. He
soon learned to feed from my hand,
and then to leap from (he water after
flies which I held over it, and some of
the jumps would send him almost clear
of his native element. When I thrust
my fingers into the water Jack, as he
was called, would dart at them andim
mediatcly assume that it was some
enemy; so I fell into the habit of
teasing and allowing him to miss my
fingers; and from day to day he be¬
came more vicious until he was tho in¬
carnation of ill temper.
This state of mind was one day the
cause of an amusing occurrence. A
pet cat had come into the room, and
seeing the water and feeling thirsty,
she deftly sprang upon the rim of the
aquarium, and stooping down began
lapping the water. Hardly had her
red tongue touched it than something
bright shot up from the bottom of the
tank. A wail of terror. Pass lost
her balance and fell into the tank with
a tremendous 6plash, then scrambled
out and fled from the room, her mind
in a whirl of fear and terror. The fish
had espied the tempting red tongue
and seized it, so alarming and aston¬
ishing puss that she fell in. This fish
I consider to have been more than or¬
dinarily intelligent, and probably he
could have been taught many tricks
had lie not succumbed to an accident.
— [San Francisco Chronicle.
The Love of Drugs.
It is au innate idea of tho English
and American mind that there must
perforce be some drug adapted to the
ever-varying states of tho body which
contains it. So many disorders, so
many remedies. The faith that never
wavers that Nature has a panacea for
every ill is touching to witness, and
seems to flourish iu an age of science
and skepticism as vigorously as in the
past. Americans especially exhibit a
robust form of this faith. American
girls, it is said, now carry abont with
them ornamental cut-glass bottles con¬
taining quinine pills, with which they
dose themselves from time to time. If
fatigued, they take two pills; if chilly,
one; if hungry (as they generally seem
to be), four or five. We believe that
ten is the correct dose for wet feet.
The quinine bottle is equal to every
emergency, and produced on all occa¬
sions. Wo are glad it is no worso
than quinine; at one time it used to be
morphine and strychnine pellets; it
might even now be ether.— [British
Medical Journal.
Milk Yielding Trees.
There are a number of very differ¬
ent kinds of trees which have received
or are known locally as cow or milk
yielding trees, but we very much
doubt if any of them would thrive in
northern Florida. The one native of
Venezuela is probably the best known,
and was first described by Humboldt,
who says tho milky juice of the tree is
extensively used by the natives.
There is another—but belonging to a
different genus of trees—found in
British Guiana, and another in the
countries of the Rio-Negro, while the
fourth is known as the cow tree of
Para, South America. Of tho latter
you would probably not find it diffi¬
cult to obtain seed, for the fruit, which
is about the size of an apple, is plenti¬
ful in the markets of Para.— [New
York Sun.
SMOKELESS POWDER.
There Will Be No Smoke tm
Future Battlefields.
Advantages and Disadvantages
Resulting Therefrom.
In tho ensemble of battle and in fte
practice of following its different
phases the smoke of the field has been
a useful auxiliary to the commander
in-chicf. Tho clouds and puffs float¬
ing over the lines of fire, which he
followed from his post of observation
—usually an elevated one, where the
atmosphere remained clear—certified
tho troops engaged, revealed to Ills
practiced eye an estimate of the adver¬
sary’s forces, and showed him step by
step the fluctuations of the battle. In
short, they often told him more than
the delayed reports of aides-de-camp.
But powder without smoke is now
an established fact. Artillery and in¬
fantry open fire and no smoke is visi¬
ble ! A single shot from the skirmish
line is henceforth absolutely imper¬
ceptible, and a salvo from the line of
infantry at 300 yards only produces a
thin, blue-white vapor like tobacco
smoke, that vanishes almost instantly.
In no instance, not even in the firing
of heavy ordnance, is the vapor dense
enough to indicate, even at short firing
range, the position of artillery or in
infantry.
These facts and others showing the
insidious properties of this new agent
in modern warfare were discussed at
length at a recent meeting of a mili¬
tary board in the Army Building, when
it was decided that the new powder
should be tested officially at Spring
field with a view to its introduction
into the American Army. Of course,
powder without smoke cannot become
the privilege of the American Army.
European nations have taken up the
problem, and several of them boast of
having a formula of their own.
Hence advantages and disadvantages
attending its use upon the field of bat¬
tle will he common to both sides.
Each acquires a better view of his ad.
versary, but loses the protection that a
veil of smoke afforded him. A priori
one can judge how doubly important
becomes the advantage of being the
first to seo the enemy, unseen by hire
if possible.
In spite of all the precautions which
may be taken to discard those details
in the uniform that might mark too
conspicuously tho presence of a troop,
surprises—and surprises aro common
occurrences in war—will bo much
easier to effect than before. Tho side
that first receives tits lire will suffer a
serious disadvantage, for some time
must elapse before it can ascertain
whence comes the attack and the forces
belonging to either side, thought not
two miles away, may know nothing of
tho skirmish.
Owing to tho distance that two ar¬
mies preserve during the preliminaries
of a combat, cavalry is intrusted with
the honor of getting information—a
perilous trust at best, when it is con¬
sidered that a mounted troop is not
easily kept out of sight, and that the
chances are against its being the firs!
to discover a well-intrenched advance
post. Moreover, if it is true that in
recent wars the increased improve¬
ment of quick-firing arms lias dimin¬
ished the efficiency of the cavalry role,
its future charge without the protec¬
tion of sfhoke to cover its advance is
looked upon as problematic.
The results of tho new powder in
what concerns infantry aro doubtful,
so much depends on the quality of the
troops. As long as he is ambushed the
infantry soldier will be a myth; firing
at 600 yards, his shots will neither be
seen nor heard, only felt. But, it is
stated by army officers, his role is not
to remain stationary. He must ad¬
vance and show himself. No longer
protected by a cloud of smoke, he will
have to face a fusillade ten-fold more
appalling than Antietam or Gettys¬
burg. Then ?
Artillery, say the veterans, gains
everything by operating in a clear
field. Before it worked blindfolded;
the enemy’s smoke served as aim, and
it was often deceptive. Now the ex¬
act position of the opposed artillery
will be visible. With even chances,
when once a battery has attained pre¬
cision in its aim, which before could
but imperfectly be determined on ac
account of smoke, it will serve as a
guide to neighboring batteries, and
thus the fire will be concentrated and
more effective. So that the artillery,
if not the infantry and cavalry, would
seem to be tho gainer by the great
martial transition from much smoke
to no smoke at all.— [New York Times.
Spnnish Bells.
Spain lias some famous hells. The
great one at Saragossa is said to ring
spontaneously beforo the deatli of a
sovereign. The hell-master in the Gi
ralda at Seville, which is three hundred
and sixty feet high, is blind, as are
other bell-ringers of Spain. Of all
(he bells in Spain, that belonging to
the Cathedral of Toledo is most cele¬
brated for its size and the stories con¬
nected with it. In a volume by Hans
Christian Anderson. “In Spain,” we are
told that fifteen shoemakers could sit
under it, and draw out their cobbler’s
thread without touching. The weight
is said to be seventeen tons. There
is another story about this bell.
A rich count of Toledo had a
son, who, having killed a man in
a duel, sought refugo in the cathe¬
dral, while his father went to Madrid
*o petition the king for his pardon.
“No,” said the king, “lie who has
killed a man must die!” The count
continued to petition, and the king to
refuse, till at length tho king said,
to get rid of him: “When you can
make a bell at Toledo that I can hear
at Madrid, I will pardon the young
man.” Now Toledo is nearly sixty
miles from Madrid. The count went
home, and some time after, as tho king
was sitting in his palace, at the open
window, he heard a distant roll.
“God help mo!” lie cried; “that’s the
bell of Toledo!” and so the young
count obtained his pardon.—[New
England Magazine.
Six Strange Facts.
The speed of the fastest railway
train is only a little more than one
half the velocity of the golden eagle’s
flight, that bird often attaining a
speed of 140 miles an hour.
The floating island in Sadawga
Lake, near the town of Whittihgham,
Vt., is justly regarded as one of the
greatest curiosities in the Eastern
States. The island contains over 100
acres, and actually floats on the sur¬
face of the lake, sometimes being
found in one quarter of it, and then
again in another.
The largest greenback extant is a
810,000 bill, and there is only one
such note in existence; of the $5000
hills there are seven.
Every year a layer of the entire sea
fourteen feet in thickness is taken up
into tho clouds. Tho winds bear tins
burden out over the land, where the
water falls as rain and flows back to
be taken up again.
Twenty miles a day is a pretty good
foot journey, but one would have to
make even better time than that in
order to walk through the streets and
lanes of Loudon and complete his trip
before the expiratiau of four years.
The Smith family occupies 15 close¬
ly printed pages of the London Di¬
rectory for 1890.—[St. Louis Itepub
lie.
Frozen Fish Revived.
On November 18, 1886, a fishmonger
of Paris, M Ileydendare, received
from Gouda (the centre of fisheries in
the region about Rotterdam) a large
consignment of fishes packed and pre¬
served in ice. They could not have
been caught later than the 16th and
were probably caught on the 15th. On
unpacking, a jack was seen to move
its gills slightly, and the idea occurred
to wash it with fresh water and im¬
merse it in a vessel. In a few hours
the fish was in its normal state and
very lively. M. Ileydendare sent it to
the Trocodero aquarium, where it is
to be seen now. It is a fine animal,
about two feet four inches long. Here,
then, is a case of' a fish out of water
more than forty-eight hours (probably
three days), packed with little care,
along with dead fish and pieces of ice,
traveling thus 280 miles and coming
to life again. The lowering of tem¬
perature was doubtless very favorable
to maintenance of vital functions.—
[Washington Star.
During the past ten years tho farm¬
ers of New Zealand have exported
100,000,000 rabbit skins. It seems
that the rabbits and the number killed
are both increasing, for the exports
last year rose to 11,340,000 skins,
at $480,000.
Good Night,
“Good night;” the trembling la
And softly kissed her satin chit WQrn
He felt her beauty’s magic spell—
“Good night,” was all he dared to speak.
And yet her manner had been kind,
Her eyes bad beamed with friendly light;
But he no further speech could find
Than those two simple words, “Gool
night.”
But lie had softly pressed her hand,
And met with his her glance, half shy,
And thought, “She'll surely understand
The language of the hand and eye.”
And as he homeward took his way
With this bright hope his heart was light!
“I may not always need to say
The parting words to her—Good night.”
— [Cape Cod Item.
HUMOROUS.
The loafer may never get rich, but
he always has a corner on tho street.
There is no activity in business cir¬
cles superior to that of the buzz
saw.
Never loan your watch to a musi.
cian;itisa part of his training to
keep time.
The man with rheumatism has no
patience with the giddy young folks
who dance.
There is a great deal of beating about
the bush when the nurseryman’s agent
comes round.
It is queer about society: The min¬
ute a man gets asked into it lie expects
to get asked out.
Peddlers cannot be said to be pop¬
ular, and yet many of them carry
everything before them.
Julius—Oh, if you’d only love me
as warmly as i do you! Nellie—We
would both be cremated, I fear.”
There are many people in the world
who laugh all the way home and stop
as soon as they reach their front
door.
A mule would rather hear himself
bray than to listen to anybody else’s
music. A g6od many people are built
like him.
Nature has provided that all things
must grow up. Perhaps this will ex¬
plain why beardless dudes cannot
grow “down.”
That New York hoy who was graft¬
ed to a dog’s leg by the. surgeons
should hasten to take something to
keep the bark off.
Was Ilamlet mad? He probably
would have been if he could have wit¬
nessed some of the modern impersona¬
tions of his character.
First Street-Car Horse—Listen to
my tale of woel Second Street-Car
Horse—I’d rather listen to the
driver’s talc of ‘Whoa!’
Literary Aspirant—I’m about dis¬
couraged. Everybody laughs at my
writings. Philosophical Friend—Why
don’t you turn humorist.
Tramp—Can yer give a feller a
scrap of sutliin’? Lady (calling her
190-pound son)—Yes, sir. John will
give you all tho scraps you want.
“I tell you,” said Koots, “there’s
an indescribable sense of luxury in
lying in bed and ringing one’s bell for
his valet.” “Yougot a valet?” “No;
but I’ve got a bell.”
“I took Mr. Gosliu’s measure the
first time I saw him,” remarked Mrs.
Bieecker. “Yes,” replied Miss Beacon
Street, of Boston; “his dimensions
can be approximated very readily.”
Debtor (to angry creditor)—But,
Sir, I have no money and cannot settle
your bill! You cannot get blood out
of a turnip, can you? Creditor—No,
sir, but I will get blood out of a beat
if that bill isn’t settled pretty soon.”
Of old, the tailor made the man,
But now his aid we summon
To work on more extensive pian—
He also makes the woman 1
Thirteen Health Rales.
The thirteen rules for the mainten
ance of health which have just beet
circulated in all the military stations
in India, by order of the commander
in chief, are so generally applicable as
to be worthy of circulation in every
home in America. The warnings that
less meat and more fruit and vegeta¬
bles would be more conducive to
health, that spirits should be eschewed,
that sleep should be taken before, not
after, meals, that the value of wearing
flannel, even in hot weather, cannot be
estimated too highly, are commonscnse
ones, which many people in America,
as well as in India, might take to
heart with advantage.—[Commercial
Advertiser.