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Vol. 51; No. 13.
SZL—=about:
Poor Lo’s Revival.
'ANTA MONICA, CALIF.—
* Despite the blessings of
S
civilization which we have be
stowed upon them, including
diseases, whisky, soda pop, and
$2 overalls, the American In
dians are increasing.
This should give our red brothers
cause for worry. Suppose they got
so numerous that
we gave this coun
try back to them?
Already we are in
debted to these orig
inal inhabitants for
quinine, cocaine,
cotton, chocolate,
tobacco, corn,
beans, squashes
pumpkins, grape
fruit, huckleberries
and hundreds of oth
er remedial drugs
or foodstuffs. More-
over, an eminent authority says the
curative methods of the old medi
cine man had values which in many
respects excelled what the white
man has produced and suggests our
scientists might well adopt certain
aspects of the aborigine’s plan.
♦ ♦ ♦
Cleaning up the Stage.
H
FAVING lost their licenses, four-
L teen burlesque houses in New
York won’t ever get them back if
the officials keep their word about
it.
With this example to go by, au
thorities might next try the idea of
cleaning up the legitimate stage
there the spawning - place and
breeding ground of shows which
filthy lines and filthier scenes are
freely offered to pop-eyed audiences
recruited from what we call our
best families. Poisoning the moral
atmosphere of the theater appears
to be the favorite sport of a new
school of dramatists who, when they
were little boys, had their mouths
washed out with soap for using dirty
words, yet never got over the habit.
• * *
The Fate of Beauty Queens.
JUST as the weather gets warm so
the contestants won’t catch any
thing worse than sunburn, that out
break of annual monotony known as
the beauty contest will stir the popu
lace to heights of the utmost indif
ference. There will be no dress re
hearsals beforehand. With beauty
contests, it’s the other way around.
And then when Miss Cherokee
Stripp or Miss Clear View has been
hailed as America’s prize package
of loveliness, she will, if she runs
true to form, put her clothes back
on and catch the next train for Cali
fornia with the intention of starring
in the movies.
On arrival, she will be pained to
note that none of the studio heads
is waiting at the station to sign her
up; also that practically all the star
ring jobs are being held by young
ladies who, in addition to good looks,
have that desirable little thing
called personality.
* • •
International Slickers.
O UMORS persist that the United
States, Great Britain and
France are preparing for eventual
agreements on monetary stabiliza
tion, tariff and trade adjustments,
price-fixing of essential commodi
ties —and, believe it or not, brethren
and sistren —a settlement of the de
faulted foreign debts owed to us.
Maybe it’s significant—or, if you
■want to be broadminded and char
itable about it, merely a coincidence
—that every dispatch from Euro
pean sources on this matter lists the
debts last. And, verily I say unto
you, that’s exactly when and where
they will come—last.
I seem to see the big three gath
ered at the council table for the
final session and La Belle France
moving that, everything else having
been arranged to the satisfaction of
the majority present and the hour
being late, the detail of those debts
be put over to some future date.
John Bull seconds the motion. Mo
tion carried by a vote of 2 to 1, Uncle
Sam being feebly recorded in the
negative.
• • •
A Sense of Humor.
|T)AMON RUNYON, who, being
wise, should know better, re
opens the issue of whether many
people have a sense of humor. This
provokes somebody to inquire wha?
is humor, anyhow?
I stand by this definition: Humor
is tragedy standing on its head with
its pants torn.
Lots of folks think a sense of hu
mor is predicated on the ability to
laugh at other folks, which is wrong.
A real sense of humor is based on
our ability to laugh at ourselves.
You have to say, not as Puck did,
“What fools these mortals be,” but,
“What fools we mortals be.”
IRVIN S. COBB.
© —WNU Service.
MAGAZINE SECTION
She Bnmmi'rnillr News
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I—Scene in the Queen Anne room of St. James palace, London, as premiers of the various dominions and
other delegates attending the Imperial conference following the coronation conferred on problems of the
British empire. 2—Employees of the Jones & Laughlin Steel corporation, whose vote adopted a C. I. O. union
for representation in collective bargaining. 3—President Roosevelt, who has asked congress to enact legis
lation establishing wage and hour standards for labor.
Hr. i
Irvin Cobb
New York Druggist
Wins Pharmacy’s
Award for 1936
Dr. J. Leon Lascoff, a trustee of
Columbia university college of phar
macy and a retail pharmacist in
New York city, who received the
Remington Honor medal, the high
est award bestowed by the profes
sion of pharmacy for the year 1936.
He received the award “in recog
nition of his services to pharmacy
as chairman of the committee which
compiled the original pharmaceu
tical recipe book.”
:—«
STICKS TO HIS LAST
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Bubbling over with joy, Salvatore
Branchiella is pictured in his shop
at Mamaroneck, N. Y., as he soles
a pair of shoes for a customer. Sal
vatore’s joy comes from his receipt
of the news that President Roosevelt
had just signed a special bill grant
ing him the right to live in the United
States.
Girls’ Motor Safety Patrol Parades at Capital
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The girls’ safety patrol of Reading, Pa., which marched in the parade of 10,000 schoolboy and schoolgirl
patrolmen between the ages of eight and fourteen in Washington, D. C., recently. The boys and girlts were
repi esentatives of school children from 20 states.
Scenes and Persons in the Current News
Summerville, Chattooga County, Georgia, Thursday, June 3, 1937
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Russ Aviator Lands at North Pole ' S
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Marks First Time
Such a Feat Has
Been Accomplished
M. V. Vodopyanoff, ace aviator of
the Soviet who recently won acclaim
in Russia by his landing an expe
dition at the North pole—the first
time such a feat has been accom
plished. Pilot Vodopyanoff was chief
airman of an expedition led by Dr.
Otto J. Schmidt, noted Arctic ex
plorer which is charting an airline
between Moscow and San Francisco,
across the North pole. The flyer
succeeded in taking off again once
the expedition had gathered its data,
and returning to his base in Moscow.
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( ‘Tide of Death”
By FLOYD GIBBONS
Famous Headline Hunter
r HEN Hubert C. Fuller of Brooklyn was eighteen, his dad
moved from Missouri to a spot in Oklahoma on the banks
w
of the Canadian river. The nearest town was Konawa, but in
the section the Fullers moved to, they and the R. F. D. post
master were the only settlers within a radius of about fifteen
miles. The Fullers’ farm was on one side of the river and the
postmaster’s was on the other.
Hube says the river bed was three quarters of a mile wide, but in the
summer of 1913, when they moved there, hot weather and a drouth had
just about dried the river up. There was nothing but a little stream of
water about six feet wide and three feet deep, running zig-zag from one
bank to the other.
There was treachery in that sluggish river, too. Its head
waters were up in the Colorado mountains, and sometimes water
from melting snow would sweep down the dry river bed in a tor
rential avalanche, taking everything before it and filling the river
bed from bank to bank. “The natives,” says Hube, “call these
frequent occurrences ‘head rises.’ ”
Couldn’t Understand His Alarm.
And though Hube knows all about those “head rises” new, he didn’t
know a thing about them at the time this story opens.
Hube’s dad had gone across the river a tew days before to help the
postmaster cut some wood on his farm, and he had asked Hube to hitch
up the team to the wagon and drive over and get a load. It was a hot day,
with thunder clouds up the river to the northwest. Hube drove the
horses—Sis and Ned—down into the river bed. He forded what little
water there was in the bottom and then let the horses pick their way
while he lay down in the wagon with his hat over his eyes.
Several times, he thought he heard strange rumblings up river,
but he paid no attention to them. “I must have dozed off to sleep,” he
says, “for the next thing I knew I heard someone shout my name. I sat
He Caught a Branch of the Old Sycamore Tree.
bolt upright. On the other side of the river I saw the postmaster and
his wife, frantically waving to me and shouting ‘Hurry!’ ”
They were shouting at the top of their voices, but Hube could
barely hear them, for the booming and rumbling up the river had
suddenly increased to a roar. “I was just about in the middle of
the river bed,” he says, “going cat-a-corner downstream to where
an old sycamore marked the wagon road. I gave the horses the
line and they started to trot. I was puzzled. What was wrong
with the postmaster?” • >
Thirty-Foot Wall of Water.
But as Hube watched the postmaster he pointed upstream. Hub*
looked. “I could see the bed for about a mile, up to where it made a
sharp turn,” he says. “There was nothing but wind-swept sand. But as
I looked, cold terror struck to the marrow of my bones. Around the bend,
like a black nightmare, whirled a thirty-foot wall of water. As it turned
the bend, the sandy banks on either side caved in with a great splash.”
Hube was panic-stricken. He jumped between the horses, unhooked
the traces, and riding Ned and leading Sis, he started to ride for his
life. Sis wasn’t used to being led by the halter and she held back. “I
hated to do it,” says Hube, “but I let her go. The river bank ahead was
too steep for the horse. .1 had to run him downstream toward the wagon
trail. It was a terrible race!”
The roar of the water was fairly deafening now. Hube’s horse
sensed the danger and ran like mad. Hube says he didn't dare
look back, but he could hear that water getting closer and
closer as they raced on. He was almost to the bank fifteen feet—
ten feet away—when he felt spray on his cheek. And then an
other fear seized him.
Safe in the Sycamore Tree.
“Ned was doing his best,” he says, “but after all, he was just a
*9ig, heavy plow horse. The path up the bank was steep, and he could
never make the grade at the speed he was going. We were at the foot
of the incline when Ned hit the rise with his knees, stumbled and went
down. Then, with a last heroic effort, he lurched straight up on his
haunches.”
And that lurch saved Hube’s life. As the horse rose in the air, Hube
grabbed wildly for support, and as luck would have it he caught a branch
of the old sycamore tree hanging over the bank. Says he: “I scurried
like a possum for the highest branch—just in the nick of time. The
avalanche was on us. Old Ned bellowed a high, shrill scream. Then
he was crushed under the terrific force of the water. I never saw him,
Sis or the wagon again. The postmaster and his wife had turned their
backs on the awful scene. When I shouted, they stared at me as if they
were seeing a ghost. The muddy water was churning and boiling
about my feet. The old sycamore tree was all but covered with it.”
The postmaster got a rope and threw it to Hube. “I walked
hand over hand, up to my waist in water,” he says, “until I
reached solid ground. I had no more reached safety than I heard
a splash. The old sycamore tree had toppled into the muddy
water.”
Hube says that since that day he has lived an uneventful life. “But
man,” says he, “I’m satisfied.”
© —WNU Service.
Smallest Country in the World
The State of Vatican City is a
sovereign, independent state by the
terms of the Lateran treaty of Feb
ruary 11, 1929. By reason of its
area of 108.7 acres, Vatican City is
the world’s smallest country, in a
physical sense-
FEATURES
AND NEWS
Sense of Taste Varies
In man the sense of taste varies
more than any other sense. Tasting
paper treated with phenyl-thio-car
bamide proves the point, says Col
lier’s Weekly. To some persons it
will be tasteless; to others it will be
bitter, sour, sweet or salty.
$1.50 A Year.