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On The Funny Side
By Gary Solomon
Law Of Literature
I've discovered a new law of nature.
Well, actually I've known about it for a
long time, but I'm just now getting around
to defining it.
It's called the First Law of Literature,
and it states that the attractiveness of a
magazine or newspaper to a reader is
directly proportional to the distance the
magazine or newspaper is from that
reader,
I know, I know. It sounds deep and
scientific. But once put in practical terms,
you'll recognize it as something you've ex
perienced hundreds of times.
Say for instance you're on a trip to
Phoenix. It's a four-hour flight, so you set
tle in with some heavy-duty reading like
the Wall Street Journal. The man sitting
next to you chooses People Magazine.
After only five minutes, you find you can't
take your eyes off the People Magazine,
even though it's still in your neighbor's
hands. This is the First Law of Literature
at work.
Every time he turns the page, a dif
ferent story catches your eye. This is
unusual, because normally the only things
that interest you about People Magazine
are the letters to the editor saying what
a waste of time the magazine is. But to
day you can't wait until the fellow lays it
down so you can get the scoop on Princes
Di and Madonna.
Finally you exchange with him. He
takes the journal and you get your greedy
little hands on People Magazine. You tear
through the pages in a rush, only to learn
that Di is for once not having a baby and
that Madonna has not said, done, or worn
anything bizarre for nearly 13 hours.
Then the First Law strikes again. You
Letters To The Editor
Powell Ignores Facts, Says Writer
Dear Editor:
I am writing to express my feeling in the
current controversy between your newspaper
and Commissioner Powell.
It seems that Mr. Powell does not let the
facts interfere with his version of any situation.
He reminds one of President Nixon when
Watergate had his back to the wall. If you
recall, Nixon, on some of the tapes, reverted to
gutter language.
Any of?igiafi, being paid by the taxpayers,
Letter Policy
The Summerville News will accept for
publication letters of local interest on a varie
tfi of topics. The editor and publisher reserve
the right to e&ublish or not, edit to meet size
limitations, edit to remove inflammatory words
aimed at private citizens and to respond with
comment.
All letters must be signed by the writer or
the letter will not be published — no exceptions.
The writer may request that his or her name
be withheld from publication, but in this case
the letter will probably not be published.
However, in certain circumstances, left up to
the discretion of the editor and publisher, a let
ter with a name withheld request may be
üblished. The name of the writer who requests
Eis or her name withheld will not be divulged
County Sent Third Check
The Chattooga County
Sheriff’s Office Wednesday
wrote a check for $13,931 to
Commissioner Harry Powell
for prisoners boarded at the jail
during Sefptember.
Sheriff McConnell said the
check does not include
payments by Cobb and Dade
Counties because those checks
had not been received by
Wednesday. They will be in
cluded in the check next
month, he indicated.
It was the third check writ
ten by the sheriff's office on the
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look across at the journal and see at least
a dozen life-changing articles, every one of
which could have made you financially in
dependent for years to come if you had on
ly read them. Too late, though. It's your
neighbors property now.
Moving on, let me explain how attrac
tiveness is proportional to distance When
a magazine is in your lap, you skim the
headlines and glance at the photos. When
it's in the lap of a person five feet from
you, you read every headline and most of
the photo captions. If it's in the hands of
a person 10 feet from you, you struggle to
read the headlines, the captions, and the
lead paragraph of every article.
And if the person with the magazine is
20 feet away, you strain to read headlines,
datelines, bylines, captions and articles
while barely repressing the urge to scream,
“Wait! I haven't finished reading why Di
isn't pregnant this week!”
Does this sound familiar? It should. It
happens every day in airplanes, waiting
rooms, diners, carpools, and living rooms
around the world. Living rooms?! Yes.
Just notice how dull the lifestyle section
of the newspaper is when you're reading
it, yet how intriguing it becomes in the
hands of your spouse.
I realize it's not particularly assuring
to know we are helpless in the grip of one
of nature’'s unchanging axioms, but if it’ll
make you feel better, even royalty is not
immune to the First Law of Literature. In
fact, somewhere in England this very mo
ment, Prince Charles is reading over a
commoner’s shoulder trying to learn for
himself why Di isn’t bearing him another
heir.
should be compelled by law to grant interviews
to any refimtable re%orter and I, for one, think
they would if they had nothing to hide. Now,
if Mr. Powell has something to hide, I can
assure him that guttersnipe talk will not con
ceal it, nor will his silly attacks on the sheriff.
To my way of thiniing. impeachment pro
ceedings should have begun months ago.
Thank you,
Howard Phillips
Menlo
by The Summerville News — no exceptions.
The editor and publisher give priority to let
ters written by Chattooga County residents. All
other letters will be reviewed for pertinence to
local issues and topics.
The Letters To The Editor must contain
some means of verification such as a phone
number, mailing address or some other means
of verifying the writer's identity such as a work
number. In most cases, a letter that does not
contain some means of verification will not be
published.
Letters should be sent to: Letter To The
Editor, The Summerville News, P. O. Box 310,
Summerville, GA 30747 or may be presented
at the main desk at The Summerville News of
fice on Rome Boulevard.
jail account since it was open- |
ed in June. The first check for ]
$26,367.50 was written July 7
and the second check for |
$46,015 was written Sept. 16.
No check was written in
August. Sheriff McConnell |
saig checks will be written to ]
the county monthly, along with |
copies of checks f¥om outside |
cities and counties boarding
prisoners at the jail.
The jail account has been a
bone of contention with Com
missioner Powell (see related #
stories).
‘ ;i!
\
Council Meet
The Chattooga County In
teragency Council will meet at
2 p.m. Monday at Chattooga
Services (formerly EOA), Com
merce Street, Summerville.
Demonstration
Mary Bradshaw,
demonstrator for Praise
Unlimited Christian Toys, will
be at Cornerstone Ministries,
South Penn Street, at 7:30 p.m.
Saturday.
A welcome is extended to
the public.
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Forms Placed Near Bridge
Forms are shown being relocated at the site of bridge
widening work in Summerville. The North Commerce
Street bridge near First Street is being widened as part
of the 4.1-mile U. S. Hi\%hway 27 project between Trion
and Summerville. C. W. Matthews Contracting Co.,
Marietta, is the prime contractor for the $4.5-million
project, which is scheduled to be completed before
Christmas, 1987. (Staff Photo).
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Gilleland Asks Court To
Force Query Response
The attorney for Tony
Gilleland, who was fired as
chief investigator of the Chat
too%a Countg Sheriff's Office
on Oct. 1, 1985, is seeking a
judicial order re<luiring Sheriff
Gary McConnell to answer
several questions, according to
records in U, S. District Court,
Rome.
David Archer, Cartersville,
who is Gilleland's attorney,
said in a motion filed in federal
court that McConnell had
“refused to answer’' several
questions during his July 21,
1986 deposition. Archer told
the court that he and McCon
nell's attorneys had been
unable to resolve the issue.
Answers to the ?uestions
‘“‘are material and relevant to
the issues involved in the litiga
tion and could possibly lead to
further discovery on behalf of
(Gilleland),” Archer said.
CHARGE-RESPONSE
Gilleland in December,
1985, filed a $1.5-million
lawsuit against McConnell,
saying that the sheriff fired
him without justification and
that the sheriff had slandered
him after the dismissal. Sheriff
McConnell has denied allega
tions in the lawsuit, saying
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The Summerville News, Thursday, October 16, 1986
that his actions and remarks in
connection with the case were
approgriate. The sheriff had
said that Gilleland improperly
used evidence — a Blazer vehi
cle — in a felony case.
In the latest action in the
lawsuit, Archer said McConnell
had said Gilleland *‘continued
for a period of approximately
two weeks to use the 1984
Chevrolet Blazer for personal
use without the permission of
attorney C. King Askew and
without the knowledge oreger
mission of the undersigned to
use the uninsured impounded
vehicle.”
Archer's motion seeks to
identify the sources from which
McConnell received informa
tion about Gilleland and the
vehicle.
During his deposition last
July, Archer’'s motion in
dicates, McConnell said he had
received information about the
vehicle and Gilleland ‘“‘from
various sources’”’ and ‘‘con
fidential informants’’ who were
‘“‘upstanding citizens, never
been arrested for anything;
some of them are in business in
town and various parts of the
county ...who were not in
volved in any way with the
Blazer or me or with Tony."”
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HEARING
The sources did not appear
at an April 17, 1986 dismissal
hearing McConnell held for
Gilleland, according to Ar
cher’'s motion.
“There is no recognized
privilege for (McConnell) to
refuse to answer such ques
tions based on the identity of
the persons with whom he
:foke concerning (Gilleland’s)
leged improprieties Frior to
his termination of employment
being ‘confidential infor
mants,’ "’ Archer said in his
brief.
The identity of McConnell's
sources in the issue is
“‘material and relevant to
(Gilleland's) cause of action,”
Archer said.
Federal Judge Harold Mur
phy has not handed down a
decision on Archer's motion.
The time for discovery in
the case has been ext,endecly un
til Nov. 29 by Judge Murphy
at the reqtlllest of both Archer
and Michael A. O'Quinn,
McConnell's attorney.
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