Newspaper Page Text
The Summerville News, Thursday, June 23, 1988
6-A
On The Funny Side
By Gary Solomon
Ending Hamburger Nose
ATTENTION, summer cold and
allergy sufferers. There's something worth
celebrating today: a product that actual
ly does what it promises to do to ease your
pain and discomfort.
I know it works, because I put it to the
test nearly a thousand times in 48 hours.
Over the weekend, you see, I con
tracted a virus of some sort. I went from
clear-headed and peppy to clogged and
pooped, all in the matter of an hour. The
worst part, though, came the next morn
ing when the dam burst and my nose
became the eternal fountain of yuck. I
tried cement, blasting caps, vice grips —
even medication — but nothing stopped
the flood.
* * *®
EVENTUALLY 1 accepted the in
evitable and sent out for some facial
tissue, and that's when I discovered an
amazing new product.
It’s called tissue with lotion.
“Tissue with lotion?"" I groaned when
my wife first handed me the box. “Won't
that make them soggy?’" It reminded me
of cake with pudding iu it, which to this
day is a concept I don't quite understand.
Sounds too gooey to be good.
* * x
BUT FOLKS, I was wrong. These
tissues are wonderful. They're marvelous.
They're fantastic.
By Monday morning I had blown my
nose 943 times. In the old days, when
tissue was 87 percent sandpaper and 13
percent cardboard, that would've left the
ol’ snoz looking and feeling like raw ham
burger. I'd have been rid of the cold, most
likely, but would have needed nose
replacement surgery before I could live a
normal life again.
This Monday morning was different,
OTHER EDITORS
Other Side 0f Bankruptcy
There's an old saying that goes
something like, "If it looks too good to be
true, then it probably isn't.”
It applies to several television adver
tisements being shown across the country.
They tell consumers about how easy it is
to start the bankruptcy process and en
courages them to consider it as an alter
native to high levels of indebtedness.
It's not an easy process and in many
cases it's not the best way to get rid of ex
cessive debt. The Independent Bankers
Association of America, a trade group
representing the nation’s community
banks, is concerned about the rising level
of personal bankruptcies in the country.
Why? Bankruptcies hurt everyone in
volved — consumers and lenders.
Everyone except the people running the
television advertisements — bankruptcy
lawyers.
They're the ones who say declaring
bankruptcy is an easy route to a debt-free
future. But there's a heavy cost —
bankruptcy has a tremendous impact on
a consumer's personal financial future.
A bankruptcy declaration remains on
a consumer's credit report for 10 years,
making it nearly impossible for someone
declaring bankruptcy to get any credit in
the future.
Capt. Ledford Graduates From
Army Capt. Frank C. Led
ford, son o? Frank M. and
Frances K. Ledford, 8 Kellett
8t Summerville, has
aduated from the Army’s
Ex;)mbined Arms and Services
Staff School, Fort Leaven
worth, Kan.
The cornerstone of the Ar
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though. My nose was fine. It didn't burn,
sting, ache, or bleed. It just hung there and
breathed like it's supposed to, as if nothing
had happened. And it's all because of
tissues with lotion.
s o
THEY'RE OH-SO-SOFT and gentle.
So gentle, in fact, that you may keep blow
ing your nose even after your cold has
passed, just to enjoy their soothing
comfort.
Okay, okay, you're right. It's getting
a little deep here now. But I guarantee
you'll never use regular tissue again. Trust
me on this one.
I do have one question, however.
* * *
WHEN DID manufacturers fix it so
their tissues don't pop up out of the box?
They used to intertwine the things so that
when you yanked one out, the next one
popped up, ready to be snatched at a mo
ment’s notice.
I bought two different brands this
weekend, though, and neither of them pop
ped up. Talk about frustrating! There you
are, lying on the couch trying to finally get
some rest, when suddenly you feel a ma
jor sneeze about to come roaring down the
pike. You grope wildly for a tissue, digg
ing deep into the box to find an edge to
grab hold of, but before you can, wham!
You blow the room to shreds.
* * *
BRING BACK pop-up tissue, 1 say.
It'd save having to clean the drapes after
every cold.
But the tip of the day is tissue with lo
tion. Buy them. Hoard them. Invest in
them. You won't be sorry. They soothe,
they satisfy. And best of all, 943 sneezes
later your nose will love you for them.
For many people, there are options
available before declaring bankruptcy, in
cluding credit counseling and debt
restructuring.
During the year ending Sept. 30, 1987,
there were 482,300 personal bankruptcies.
But, according to Purdue University's
Credit Research Center, 50 percent of
those people who filed for bankruptcy
could have paid their debts off in a
36-month period.
Non-profit consumer credit counseling
centers are located in many cities
throughout the country. These centers
specialize in helping people put together
debt repayment plans and financial
budgets. In 1987, they counseled 170,000
families and returned $lB6-million to
lenders.
Before declaring bankruptcy, con
sumers should take a close look at their
personal financial situation. Credit
counseling centers, personal bankers and
others can help examine the options. By
formulating a financial plan, consumers
can work their way out of debt.
It may not be easy, but neither is
bankruptcy, which can be a 10-year
mistake.
my's officer education system,
the nine-week course is design
ed to train officers in the skills
needed to be an effective staff
member with the force in the
field.
The curriculum included
preparing a command budget,
setting up training programs,
D
— Special Supplement to
Washington Weekly Report
Army School
mobilizing and deploying mock
units and giving staff
presentations.
He is a 1975 graduate of
Chattooga High School, Sum
merville, and a 1979 graduate
of Jacksonville State Universi
ty, Ala.
the SOVEREIGN STAT
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Guest Column
By Richard H. Fink
Freeze Spending!
BEING AN ELECTION year, most Washingten politi
cians are pretending the deficit does not exist. They would
rather put the problem off until next year. However, some
of this year's presidential hopefuls have advocated specific
proposals to attack the $l5O-160 billion budget deficit.
Several candidates have urged a spending freeze.
Taxes and spending are not the only issues voters look
at before determining which candidate they will support.
but, to the extent those issues are important, candidates
who want to reduce the deficit by controlling spending
have Had more success than those who propose higher tax
ation. The voters certainly have plenty of reasons to sup
port a spending freeze over higher taxes.
SINCE 1980, government spending has increased
almost 80 percent, nearly double the amount needed to
keep pace with inflation. Tax revenues, on the other hand,
have risen about 75 percent, also much faster than was
needed to keep pace with inflation. The reason the deficit
will be higher in 1988 than it was in 1980 is because spen
ding grew even faster than taxes.
Contrary to popular belief, tax collections and spending
have increased during the Reagan administration. The so
called spending cuts during Reagan’s first term were ac
tually just reductions in increases. Spending has increas
ed by an average of $59 billion annually, and the increases
have come in both areas of the budget, defense and
domestic. 5 .
AS FAR ASTAXES go, Reagan, to his credit, has suc
ceeded in bringing top tax rates down from 70 percent to
28 percent, but reducing marginal tax rates is not the same
as cutting taxes. The elimination of many deductions and
exemptions, rising Social Security taxes, and huge
business tax increases have caused government revenues
to grow rapidly. A record peacetime economic expansion
and the creation of 14.5 million new jobs since 1982 have
also helped swell government coffers.
Little wonder that voters are suspicious about calls for
further tax increases. Taxpayers have had four large tax
increases in the last six years; in 1982, 1983, 1984 and
1987. Raising taxes does not do any good when Congress
simply uses the additional revenue to boost spending to
new highs. % $ 00l
ON THE OTHER hand, calls for a spending freeze ap
parently strike aresponsive chord with the voters. A freeze
is a realistic method to control the deficit. Unlike major
new taxes, a freeze on spending would not threaten to
choke off economic expansion.
Few people recognize how effective a spending freeze
would be in reducing the budget. According to figures
published by the non-partisan Congressional Budget Of
fice, a spending freeze would lead to a budget surplus in
just three years. The Office of Management and Budget
figures, whose economic estimates are considered more op
timistic, not only show a budget surplus in three years,
they also show that a spending freeze would reduce the
deficit to under sl2 billion in just two years. The reason
a spending freeze would work so well is because tax
revenues are projected to increase about S6O billion year
ly due to economic growth and already-legislated Social
Security tax increases.
* * *
A SPENDING FREEZE not only would meet all
Gramm-Rudman deficit targets, it would balance the
budget two years ahead of schedule. All this would hap
pen without having to cut spending. Of course, if politi
cians wanted to increase spending in certain politically
popular areas, they would be free to do so, as long as they
reduce spending in other areas to make up for it. That way,
special interests would have to compete with each other
instead of ganging up on the taxpayers.
Limits on spending and taxes are a sure-fire formula
for continued economic growth, more jobs, and greater op
portunity. Presidential candidates, who like to talk about
jobs, opportunity, and economic growth should realize that
you cannot have those things without sound economic
policy. - g
NEW TAXES ARE not the answer to the deficit. Con
gressional overspending will not be stopped by giving
politicians more money to spend. On the other hand, a
spending freeze would work. It is fair, workable, and con
ducive to economic growth. There are more issues in the
election than the deficit, but as it stands now, the spen
ding freeze wins hands down over tax increases.
(Richard H. Fink is president of Citizens for a Sound
Economy, a 250,000-member independent public interest
group located in Washington, D. C.).
Chickamaug
The National Park Service
and the Georgia Department of
Transportation have given
notice of their intent to prepare
an Environmental Impact
Statement (EIS) for a %ro osal
to relocate existing g 27
outside the Chickamat&ga and
Chattanooga National Military
Park in Walker and Catoosa
Counties.
Several alternative
alignments will be studied. The
proposed work is necessary to
separate the high volumes of
U.S. 27 traffic from park
visitor traffic.
E of AFFAIRS
a EIS Slated
The EIS will assess the im
pacts to the environment as
well as the socioeconomic im
pacts associated with the
relocation of this roadway and
the alternative alignments. The
agencies will conduct public
meetings which will be sc?nedul
ed and announced at a later
date.
Written comments concer
ning this matter may be ad
dressed as follows:
Regional Director
Southeast Region
National Park Service
75 Spring St., SW
Atlanta 30303
Potpourri
tion. It's not likely that the board would
hire a man recommended by Hayes if that
action would require the board to increase
his salary
* * -
THAT MAKES it sound as though
Hayes is making recommendations with
an eye to fatten his own paycheck, and
that may not be a fair inference, The board
has not had many closed sessions to
discuss personnel. Hayes may only have
recommended two or th: »e principals.
Surely he could have made more recom
mendations than that by now.
If the board did have to hire someone
for principal who now makes more than
$50.000 annually, and if the board went
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from editorial page
along with the commensurate pay hike for
Hayes, would the board to be fair, also
have to approve pay increases for other
principals who have already worked for
several years in Chattooga County?
Hayes said that according to state law,
the high school can open in the fall without
a principal. Hayes said that the high
school could probably operate 30-60 days
without a principal.
THE QUESTION IS, what kind of a
recommendation are we going to get when
the last-minute panic hits? Will the board
have to take whatever recommendation
Hayes gives to them when they have to
hire on a deadline?
David qud