Newspaper Page Text
6-A
.The Summerville News, Thursday, April 6, 1989
On The Funny Side
Coke-Pepsi Catfight
IT'S NICE to know that someone
besides me is fed up with the Coke/Pepsi
catfight.
Seven-Up is now running television ads
for its own diet soda that pokes fun at the
Cola wars and tells them to **Lighten Up."”
To which I add a hearty Amen.
THOUGH THERE'S a difference of
opinion among media experts over the ef
fectiveness of comparative advertising,
some say it can easily confuse consumers
if taken to extremes.
And right now, 1 am definitely
confused.
Let's see. According to Coke, last year
two-million people quit drinking regular
Pepsi, most of whom switched to Diet
Coke. Correct? According to Pepsi,
however, one million Diet Coke drinkers
switched to Diet Pepsi.
THAT WOULD mean that one million
people merely switched from regular Pep
si to Diet Pepsi — if we can believe either
company in the first place. (Both have
been asked by the TV networks to change
their ads, if that tells you anything).
Personally, the only thing I switch
when a Coke or Pepsi commercial comes
on is channels. Then I mosey into the kit
chen for a swig of Diet Water (which tastes
amazingly like regular Water).
COKE AND PEPSI aren't the only
ones guilty of flooding the airwaves with
exaggerated claims and mindless rhetoric.
Ford and Chevy are almost as bad.
Honestly, now, does anyone other than
Ford and Chevy dealers remember which
truck can drive across a ditch without get
ting stuck or pull a mountain or keep a bed
full of raw eggs from breaking under the
weight of a hog? Does anyone really care?
Until recently I thought the most ir
ritating ad on television was one for Dox
idan Laxative where a country and
western singer strums his guitar and
chortles warmly, ‘‘Doxidan, gentle Dox-
Jasper Dorsey
LETTER TO A GRANDSON:
You've told me that the goal of many
students is to make lots of money. Don't
buy it.
There's nothing basically wrong with
making money. It's pleasant and useful to
have, especially if you've earned it, but
anyone who makes it a vision is almost cer
tain to be thwarted or deterred. For if
enriching yourself is your declared goal,
not many will help you, in fact, many may
be inclined to hinder you.
START WITH a vision of where you
wish to go, what you want to achieve, like
something special that's not being done,
or not done well . . . a vision for your life,
long range. If you do that and choose your
vision well, so that it will primarily benefit
others (the more the better) and you are
dedicated to it, many people will help you.
Keep in mind, too, that all great men
and women had a vision like that. They
knew where they were going; they knew
how to get there and they knew how to
persuade others to help them achieve the
goal. I don’t know anyone who achieved
greatly by doing it alone. Anyone who
says he's a self-made man, has a very short
memory.
IF YOU CHOOSE any profession in
order to make money, like medicine for ex
ample, chances are you aren’'t going to
become a great doctor. Almost nobody will
help you with a purely selfish ambition.
But if you go into anything to help others
you'll be amazed at the help you'll
discover.
When Steve Jobs guided Apple Com
puter to its early greatness, he did it with
a vision of changing the world by bring
ing computers to people who'd never us
ed them, not by wanting a billion-dollar
company. Incidentally he achieved both.
YOUR GENERATION is often told
that you are the best and brightest. Not
sO. You may be the most favored, but that
only places a greater responsibility upon
you, for to whom much is given, much is
required. Your parents have lived through
wars, recessions, highs and lows; so
they’ve learned many things in the best of
all schools, experience. Learn from them
and save yourself many sad adventures.
Others tell you there are so many more
temptations for you today than before.
That’s not so either. Since Adam and Eve
there have been more than enough temp-
By Gary Solomon
aan, 1t gives you no surprises
EITHER THAT, or the endless spots
for Atlanta Toyota featuring ‘‘Tom Parks
with Charlotte Earl and Mr. Toyota."
It would be helpful if Charlotte or Mr.
T. would say something now and then so
we'd know who was who, but how can they
when Tom is running his mouth about this
being the “last three days to buy?'’ He's
been saying that since Christmas, if
memory serves me.
I'M AFRAID Coke and Pepsi take top
honors for boorishness these days,
however. It's become a personal vendetta.
They've forgotten the audience and
started aiming at each other.
Coke claims Pepsi drinkers are swit
ching to Diet Coke; Pepsi responds that
Diet Coke fans are moving to Diet Pepsi.
Pepsi signs pop singer Madonna to repre
sent the company; Coke gets George
Michael. Coke produces a 3-D commercial;
Pepsi airs a spoof with everyone wearing
weird-looking 3-D glasses.
Whatever happened to good ol’ Brand
X 7
REMEMBER BRAND X? Years ago
when you did comparative advertising,
that's what you called your competitor.
“Our laundry soap has three times the
cleaning power of Brand X, the
spokesman would say. Of course, anyone
who'd ever washed a load of clothes knew
Tide was Brand X, but it was an unwrit
ten code of honor not to mention it direct
ly. And by not mentioning it, you also
didn't give Tide any free publicity.
THOSE WHO study such things say
the new Seven-Up commercials won't help
its sales any. “‘Second-tier products that
try to ride the dominant brands’ coattails
achieve little,”” says one expert.
He may be right. But right now I'm
ready to hop in my Dodge truck, drive to
Atlanta, and bean Tom Parks with a Diet
7-Up can.
tations, and their essence is always the
same: to be self-centered, greedy, and self
indulgent. In all the history of mankind,
the heroes are those who resisted most
temptations which came their way. The
failures did not.
CONSIDER THE PARABLE of the
Talents. Christ told the story of a king who
gave three servants money to invest while
he was away. One received 10 talents, one
five, the third got one. To each was given
according to his ability. When the king
returned, each servant had doubled the in
vestment except the one talent man. The
10-talent man was made a ruler over 10
cities. For having been faithful in small
things he was rewarded with many. The
five talent man was made ruler over five
cities for the same reason.
'Recall what the one talent servant said
to his master, that the king was a harsh
man, reaping where he did not sow, etc. So
he buried in the ground the one talent and
returned it to the king. Remember, too, the
king’s reply, that the servant knowing his
master, should have at least invested the
money in his trust, so it could be returned
with interest.
BUT CONSIDER the ‘“Seven deadly
sins:” lust, covetousness, anger, inordinate
pride, envy, gluttony (greed) and sloth. We
don’t hear much against these today, in
fact, many are encouraged. Truth is we
don’t hear much about sin.
Christ told the story about three men
of different abilities. Those who'd been
faithful in small things were made rulers
over big things. Sloth, indolence,
uselessness destroys us absolutely. The
basis for self-respect and all personal hap
piness is to be useful, to help others.
GOD GIVES US different skills and
places us in different situations to do His
work. He expects us to use what He's
given us for the good of others, and thus
for Him. Anyone with only modest abili
ty can do that well. Some suggest that one
talent people cannot compete. Not so, they
can.
The best way to compete for the
modestly talented or the gifted, is this:
Don’t compete against everyone in the
world. Just compete with yourself. Com
pete today against the person you were
yesterday, or last week, or last year. That
will hurt no one. But it sure will help you
be the best you can be.
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Tommy Payne, formerly of Summerville, and warden of the Al Burrus
Center, a “'shock incarceration’’ prison for youngroffenders. is quoted
in “*The National Enquirer” edition of April 4. ““The Enquirer’" is the
nation's highest circulation super market tabloid newspapers. The
Commentary
from editorial page
of that day, and on into the next. Soldiers
fought and died in the Peach Orchard, the
Hornet's Nest, and Bloody Pond. Buell's
Union reenforcements finally arrived, and
Federal gunboats arrived from the river.
FINALLY, at 4 p.m. on April 7, the
Union forces had gained the victory, but
at the cost of 13,000 of their own troops
Library Plans Pushed
By BUDDY ROBERTS
Staff Writer
The executive board of the
Chattooga County Library
decided last week to hire Emi
ly Anthony, a retired librarian,
to write the building program
for the Trion branch of the
county library.
The board also voted to
open two bank accounts for
depositing the Trion branch
funds, ang to notify agencies of
a vacancy on the library board.
Ms. Anthony, from Sautee
Nacooche, has agreed to fur
nish 10 copies of the building
pro%ram, including copies for
the library records. The cost of
the project, including Ms. An
thony's travel expenses, will be
$3,000, to be paid from the
Trion Library Branch funds,
said Beverly Jackson, board
chairman.
BANK ACCOUNTS
The board also authorized
the opening of a bank account
for the Trion library branch, for
the book and construction
funds, allowing either Linda
Floyd, library director, or Mrs.
Jacil(son to sign for the ac
count, instead of requiring a
representative of the Trion
branch to sign.
An account was also ap
proved for the incoming Trion
construction funds, the first of
Brooks Trial
Slated May 8
In Chattanooga
The trial of a Summerville
man on cocaine charges has
been scheduled for May 8 in
U. S. District Court in Chat
tanooga, Tenn.
Steve Cook, U. S. attorney,
said Calvin Brooks, 36, N.
Commerce Street, Summer
ville, pled innocent at his ar
raignment last week in Chat
tanooga. He was arrested on
March 15 in Chattanooga and
released on $35,000 bond that
same day.
Chattanooga police said at
the time that Brooks was
charged with possessing a
Found of suspected cocaine by
ocal officers and agents of the
federal Drug Enforcement Ad
ministration. Police said the
estimated street ‘value of the
suspected drug was $45,000.
Some $825 in cash was also
seized at the time of Brooks ar
rest, police said.
Cook wouldn't comment on
the amount of Brooks' bond.
Council Meet
The Lyerly City Council will
meet at 7 p.m. next Tuesday at
Lyerly city hall.
There will be routine
business, as well as a review of
the city's plans to drill wells.
/
Former Resident Makes ‘The National Enquirer’
and 10,600 Confederates. But West and
Middle Tennessee had been secured for the
Union.
After the armies had moved on, the
area around Shiloh Church and Pittsburg
Landing returned to the way it had been
before the battle. Quiet, solitude and tran
quility returned. Only the blood-soaked
soil remained as a reminder of the ghastly
horrors of the Civil War.
which were to have been
deposited on Saturday. Checks
in the account must be co
signed by Mrs. Floyd and Mrs.
Jackson, she said, and funds
will be used only for construc
tion expenses.
LETTERS
The board also approved
the distributing of letters to
county agencies concerning a
vacancy on the library board.
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Recommendations are not to
be included in the letters,
although several names had
been discussed for the vacancy,
Mrs. Jackson said.
JACKSON
BATTERY
SERVICE
For All Your Battery
Needs - Cars, Pickups,
Large Trucks, Tractors
EtC.
857-3326
| LR T-1 |
centerfold spread of the publication features several color photos of the
Burrus Center in Forsyth. It also quotes Warden Payne extensively
on the purpose of the unique prison. Headline on the front page of *‘The
Enquirer” is “*Cher Dumpe(F!"
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