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Che Summeruille News
LAAN'S
INN
Are You A
Valentine’s
Scrooge?
VALENTINE'S Day will be
Monday and I think it's time we
women “tell it like it is” to you
men.
We want you to know that
it's nice to have the money that
you funnel our way. So, thanks.
Keep giving us money and we'll
be your own little Valentine's.
But don't be deceived. We
only appear to be your personal
slaves. Notice, I didn't say “love
slaves.” If you are over 40, girl
friend, it's pretty likely you aren't
a “love slave.” Most of we more
mature girlfriends have long
seen the thinning of our older
husband’s and boyfriend’s hair,
known our share of “false teeth
dudes,” and realize that few of
you still wear bikini underwear.
You fellows are, for the most
part, “boxer short darlings.”
NOW, I'M not saying that
we don't love vour little knobby
knees, bloated tummies and al
lergy-prone ways. It's just that
down deep inside our psyches,
we never planned on you fellows
looking quite like vou do in vour
so-called “golden years.” .
Okay, I submit that many of
us don't look like we did at 20,
either . ..
Some of you more alert
types send candy or flowers two
or three times a year to your wife
or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day,
Mother's Day or her birthday. A
few of vou “good one’s” remem
ber the special anniversary date.
Bravo for vou!
BUT, WHAT about all
those other 360 days when we
don’t get the kudos from you?
Maybe that’s part of why we act
so tacky.
If you fellows were married
to Madonna, Dolly or some of
those other Hollywood types, I'll
bet vou would get them Rowers
and gifts every week. So, other
than a couple of physical at
tributes those girfi exhibit —
what'’s the big deal, guys?
WELL, NOW that my
“Man Attack” is out of my system
(you know it never really is), it's
time for Valentine's wishes to all
my favorite guys in Chattooga
County. Are you ready?
These are my favorite Val
entines:
* Publisher Gene Espy,
(guess why, folks).
* Commissioner Jim Parker,
because he’s such a kind man.
* Trion Police Chief Charles
Latta, because his honesty is like
ahalo and he’s always been there
to help me in times of trouble.
* Lyerly Councilman John
Carroll, who is Mr. Republican
with his own flowing robe and
has somehow been a%le to keep
Maid Marion as his wife. Don't
know how, though. .
* The Revs. Peter Leonovich
and David Burris, because they
“stand out in a crowd” for God
with fervor. ;
* John Hayes, the Chattooga
school system’s social worker.
He's not a phony, snooty educa
tor — he really cares for the stu
dents.
* Menlo Councilman J. P.
Thornberry, because he'll tell you
“just likeitis” and he doesn't care
who likes it.
* Menlo Councilman Eddie
Majors, for the same reason with
two more shakes of spunk mixed
in.
* Bobby Groce, my co
worker, because he is such a
kind-hearted, good man.
* Summerville Chief Stan
Mosley, who constantly tries to
keell) his department and himself
at a low profile. But life just won't
let him!
1 POLLED some of my girl
friends about what makes a
“sexy” bo'yfriend and they all said
“money.
Smile.
Now, of course when we
were younger girlfriends, we
liked the fantastic physiques.
Even now,whenlseea hun?( like
Antonio Banderas or Ricky Mar
tin, I can't help but smile. That’s
not bad and certainly no worse
than what most of you fellows do
when you see women you think
are attractive.
Now, my hubby is not the
Antonio type but he’s a cutie in
his own right. Before time and
taxes took over his life, he had
thick black hair. You know, girls,
the kind we love to run our fin
gers through.
Now, my graying Valentine
is looking in the mirror and say
ing “Is my hair really thinning in
back?”
~ Yes, dear, it is and in front
and on the sides. But, that’s OK.
He has money. Smile.
I HOPE you Fuys are fed up
with all this Valentine’s Da
stuff. That’s right-fed up enonfz
to do a little better than you did
last year where the romantic gifts
see LAAN'S INN, page 3-B
Seein g ODou.Ale HAnd Kometimes Sfhrice
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Thursday, February 10, 2000
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By D. J. LAAN
Staff Writer
Their teachers and friends
say it's true that the many twins
love to plag identity tricks when
ever they have an opportunity.
A good number of twins and
one set of triplets live in Chat
tooga County. Manfi' of the
younger ones dress alike.
Some are fraternal twins.
That means one can be a boy and
the other a girl. Or, in some
cases, the twins can either be
both boys or both girls. Frater
nal twins came from two of their
mother’s fertilized eggs.
Identical twins, who appear
very much alike, are the result of
one egg being fertilized and split
ting into separate, same sex in
dividuals.
The twin and triplet look-a
likes are unique individuals who
sometimes might use their re
semblance to tfieir advantage.
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APPEARANCES
Lacey and Lori Starkey, 17,
are seniors at Chattooga High
School. Both said it's fun to see
people’s faces when they first see
the twins together.
“People are surprised and
want to talk to us,” Lacey said.
She said her hair is much
shorter than her sister’s but the
distinction doesn’t seem to help
people identify her any easier.
“They still get mixed up,’
she said.
Lori said she’s so used to
people calling her by her sister’s
name that sie rarely tells the
person she’s not Lacey.
“Over the last year, my sis
ter and I have become very close
and I imagine it will always be
that way,” she said.
LARGEST TWIN
Julia Renea Owings, Trion,
born on Nov. 12, 1988, weighed
about 8 pounds 3 ounces ang still
holds the record at Floyd Medi
cal Center for being the largest
twin born at the Rome hospital.
She was about two pounds larger
than her twin sister, Hillary Jo.
“My sister and I are chang
ing a lot as we grow older andg I
don’t think we look as much alike
now as we used to,” Hillary said,
“but it’s great to have someone
who knows your innermost self.”
She said that she often
knows “exactly” what Julia will
say before her sister speaks and
her sister shares the same abil
ity.
When the girls were 2, their
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mother put the family Christmas
tree inside a pla)('jpen to keep the
two energetic toddlers from try
ing to climb it.
22 MINUTES
Amber and Kimberly Stoner
were born 22 minutes apart with
Kimberly seeing the lingt of day
first. The twins said they like
dressing alike and delight in
tricking their friends about their
identity. Kimberly, on the other
hand, said that it irritates her
when teachers and friends mis
take her for Amber. She said be
ing an identical twin does have
some drawbacks,
“My sister and I were in a
grocery store with our mother
Kathy shopping,” Kimberly said.
My sister and mom were in the
deli area and the clerk was giv
ing away free cookies. I was in
another part of the store.”
When Kimberly reunited
with her mom and sister, she re
alized Amber was munching on
a cookie that appeared delicious.
“I went straight over to the
deli and asked for a cookie,” she
said. However, the clerk refused
to fiive her a cookie saying, “Now,
little girl, I know you were just
here with your mommy.”
Kimberly said she couldn’t
convince the woman that she
was a twin until she recruited
Amber to return to the deli area.
The clerk, amazed, apologized to
Kimberly and gave her a cookie.
DIFFERENT
Cameron and Jordon Day
are another set of twins who
agree that it’s more fun being
twins.
“We are totally different in
our personalities,” Jordon said.
Enrique and Ernesto
Sebastian are Hispanic twins
who moved to Trion from Colo
rado.
“We both really like it here
and this Klace has been very good
tous both,” Enrique said. He said
he and Ernesto play the cello, a
stringed instrument.
TALK ALIKE
Autumn Brandi Hall and
twin Holly Hall said they are con
stantly “c;,uel talking.”
“We say the same things at
the same time and often we son't
have any idea that the other one
is going to say that,” Brandi said.
They agreed it's very common to
have people mistarlz,e one sister
for the otfier.
Feciiwies gl Vews
Kacie Duke will be 15 in July
this year and she said she is one
minute older than her twin
Kathi.
Kacie said the twins’ best
friends are also another set of
twins.
“My sister and I share the
same hobby — rodeoing,” she
said.
IVESTER
Heath and Hunter Ivester
are 5-year-old brothers who en
joy being alike.
“We're just little kids but we
like to see people’s faces when
they look at us and see double,”
Heath said.
Twin first graders Hannah
and Haley Payton said they are
best friends.
“When we go to the store
with our parents, people stop us
and ask us questions,” Hannah
said. She said sister Haley and
herselflike to é)lay tricks on their
mom and dad, Steve and Mitzi
Payton of Trion.
Both girls said that if they
could have one wish, it would to
be bigger as is their older sister
Anna, 14.
FRATERNAL
Lauren and Lawton Lewis
are fraternal twins. They were
born in Gainesville, Fla., home of
the Florida Gators. Although
Lauren was born first, Lawton
has been nipping at her heels
since, according to Loretta
Sizemore, the twins’ mother.
Ashley and Blake Sizemore
were born one minute apart but
more than six weeks premature
and Blake developed an eating
disorder. Ashle{ was release
from the hospital but her brother
Blake remained, being fed
through tubes, to the dismay of
his parents Robert and Loretta
Sizemore.
Two weeks passed and
young Blake was not ?ro%gessing
so Loretta took Ashley back to
the hospital. She placed Ashley
in the crib with her ailing brother
and within a half-hour, Blake
began eating naturally.
THOSE EVANS TWINS
Tamarius and Danarius
Evans, also known as “Tee” and
“Dee” Evans were September
babies. The two CHS juniors are
well known for their wit and
pleasant [)ersonalities. The twins
plag multiple SJ)OI‘tS and they
said they are addicted to com
puter and video games.
“Our favorite food is pizza.
And, knowing that, you can see
why we would love to work part
time at Papa John's,” Tee said.
They said another of their
pastimes involves fooling callers
who telephone either of them.
“No one except our mother
knows our voices a({;art so when
we want to be ‘bad,” we talk to
each other’s girlfriends,” Dee”
said.
LEE TWINS
Marcus and Lucas Lee said
they are “very much alike” with
the exception that Lucas likes to
eat raw mustard.
“That’s not so bad because
Lucas likes raw ketchup,”
Marcus retorted.
One of Lucas’ favorite hob
bies is looking thrm(lfh a tele
scope at the moon and the stars.
“I miiht be a space pilot some
day,” he said.
Marcus said he loves maca
roni and cheese more “than any
one in the world.”
Sandi and Kandi Adams are
fraternal twins who said they
“hate” dressing alike.
“We want to be our own
selves — individuals,” they said.
- URIAH TWINS
Kathleen and Kurlene Uriah
are 14 Kear olds who don’t see
each other too often at school but
who say they are nearly insepa
rable at home. The twins parents
say they are very creative enjoy
ing poetry, photography and
drawing.
see SEEING DOUBLE, page 2-B
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