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VOL. IV-NO. 42. NOT QUITE THE SAME. Kot quite the same the springtime seems to me Sinc<s that sad season when in separate ways Our paths diverged. There are no more such days As dawned for us . that last time when we Dwelt in the realm of dreams, illusive dreams. Spring may be just as fair now, but it seems Not quite the same Not quite the same is life since we two parted, Knowing it best to go our ways alone. Fair measures of success we both have known. And pleasant hours; and yet something de parted Which gold, nor fame, nor anything we win, Can all replace. And either life has been Not quite the same. Love is not quite the same, although each heart Has formed new ties that arc both sweet and true; ' ut that wild rapture which of old wc knew Seems to have been a something set apart With that last dream. There is no passion, now, Mixed with this later love, which seems, some how, Not quite the same. Not quite the same am I. My inner being Reasons and knows that all is for the best Bus oh] the unstilled yearning in my breast, As my soul’*reyes turn ever backward, seeing The vanished self, that over more must be, This side of what we call eternity, Not quite the same. —EUa Wheeler, Boston Transcript. THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE INEVITA BLE. With the exception of here and there a constitutional grumbler, the different phases of external nature are not ac cepted with resignation and pleasure. As far as possible we prepare for the cold and the heat, the rain and the wind, and when taken unawares by an ele mental disturbance—if not too seriously damaged—we bear our discomfiture bravely, and usually look back upon such an experience as something quite out of the common, as well as a good joke. The reason for such calmness and pa tience are obvious. As soon as we know we are made acquainted with the fact that the storm that interferes with our pleasure or spoils our finery is unavoidable. A child does not cry very often for the moon toplay with, or long expect that the north wind which stiffens his face and congeals his blood will stop blowing on account of his dislike of it. Submission to the disagreeable in ex ternal nature means a knowledge of its inevitableness. We have no power to modify or prevent any of its moods, so we adapt ourselves as far as possible to all of them, taking some comfort in the thought that we are not responsible for results. It may seem somewhat far fetched to endeavor to institute an anal ogy between external nature and human nature, since upon human nature de volves more or less responsibility. Still there is an inevitableness about human relations which it would be well to some -1 times consider. On the assumption that a knowledge or realization of the inevitable helps us to bear what inevita bly must be borne, let us look at the marriage relation. We all know that the institution of marriage is still in a very crude and unsatisfactory condition. The desire for position, the love of money, the fear of being left to a single life, are some of the reasons that obtain with people who ought to know better. For one motive and another, men and women come together in marriage too often without the mutual love which should be the foundation of such a life. Sometimes there appears to be this basis, but a short experience of “travel ing in harness” proves that there was a mistake. Then again, love—such as it is—does here and there seem to exist, but in many instances.it fails to give the comfort which was expected. Os course there are great and glorious exceptions to all this; but it will hardly be dis puted that marriage in general is not as prolific of happiness as it ought to be, or as it certainly will be in the good day coming when education shall have lifted the world into a knowledge of good and HO o Now, the law which .brings a consci entious man and woman together in the marriage relation > as inevitable as the law of gravitation. Troubles and disa greements may come, but an inherent and mutual decency will keep this couple together and their disaflections a matter of profound secrecy. The question now arises, if a realization of the inevitable I can accomplish as much as this, may it | not be of more service by enabling those who suffer from the efiects of certain I traits of character, for instance, to real ize that these traits are also inevitable? 1 o many persons who have, or think they have, greater causes for misery, the I complaint of a wife that her husband | does not understand her seems absurd; and yet there is no more frequent, and, (perhaps, no more acute unhappiness than proceeds from this cause. Women, as a rule, live much more in the imagina tion than men, and have more time for the work of introspection. Their ideals are higher, but not infrequently quite out of reach even by those disposed to attain to them. ‘lf 1 could only find sopjerre«Z fault .2' h a lady to an “but I have no com plaint to make save the very common one of his not understanding me. He is the soul of honor, kimbhearted, gener ous and an untiring friend. He has never, thus far, spoken an unkind or a hasty word to me, and I know he never will; ami yet he has no more apprecia tion or understanding of my states of aJ v “ling, my intellectual and spiritual t| inn i ß y next-door neighbor.” ( Those persons who are alive to this great p'lblein of human life understand that the remarks of this wife ' 'w made by thousands of wives > Jfd sincerity. Whether or not < -ii, ' • er ' Je made a question ol Borne doubt. It is a ” ' aany temperaments to talk over a htw fisL-d" perplexities with a sympa- It was wid. and if the friend be ais- > well as sympathetic there may done. But it must be also Salten Argus. true that when a woman reaches a mental condition where it is possible for h 'to speak disparagingly of her hus band she is within an easy distance of marital shipwreck. This article is in tended mostly for this class of wives; those who admit they have nothing to complain of and yet suffer intensely, and complain or not according as they are wise or foolish. “My husband does not understand me,” says another woman. “He is honest in all the relations of life. He is not unkind, but be never reads a poem with me, or knows whether I am dressed in red flannel or cardinal velvet.” Here is another: “My husband is thoroughly good. He hasn’t a single bad habit, and I know he loves me dearly, but, notwithstanding, he hurts me in the tenderest places, lie often forgets to put in an appearance when I have invited guests, and never takes me to the opera, or seems to care whether I have any amusement or not.” Still another; “My husband is the best man in the world, but he ne Ver seems to think I can get tired taking care of children or cook ing his dinner. He eats and sleeps as if he thought it my business to drudge from morning till night.” The following remark I heard made not long ago by one of the loveliest women whom it has ever been my good fortune to meet. Those who do not comprehend the fineness of feminine sensibilities may be at a loss to discover where the loveliness comes in; but it is there all the same. There had been some lively and good-natured compari sons of husbands of our acquaintance, when the lady spoken of remarked, with heightened color and flashing eyes: “I don’t think it is very good taste for a wife to talk about her husband, but what will you think when I tell you that my husband never asked me to take a plate of ice-cream in his life ? He knows there is nothing I like so well. We often have it for dessert, of course; but many times when we have been out walking I have so wished, when passing ice-cream saloons, that he would ask me to go in, and because Im hasn’t has spoiled many a walk.” “Well!” remarked a plain-spoken old maid, “l.can conceive of your husband’s not thinking of such a thing, but I cannot conceive of a wife who is on any decent terms with her husband who would refuse to ask for what she wanted. Why didn’t you tell him you would like some ice-cream?” “My husband knows my liking for ice cream, and it is his business to ask me,” was the sensitive rather than the sensi ble reply. Now this wife credits her husband with a kind heart, and perfect honesty of purpose. She even admits that if the invitation had come from her he would gladly have accompanied her to any number of ice-cream saloons. This complaint seems silly as well as un womanly, but it doubtless had its birth in other neglects which she did not speak of. The failure of a husband to invite his wife to partake of ice-cream could hardly furnish grounds for divorce, but seems in t his instance to have been “the feather that broke the camel’s back.” Taken by itself it is certainly too absurd for a moment’s notice, but it can not be isolated. Such a state of affairs can only come from the extremest and most mor bid sensitiveness, and how much a woman can do to overcome such a con dition is the present question. Certainly not by brooding over apparent neglect, much less by talking about it. In these degenerate days the woman who has an honest man for her husband is to be congratulated. If he is also kind, gen erous and provident, she has certainly drawn a paze in the great lottery. It must be true that these wives who have nothing to complain of, and yet who suffer so much from lack of husbandly appreciation and sympathy, do not place a proper value on manly qualities. Is it not possible for a wife, in consideration of the cardinal virtues, to get on comforta bly and lovingly with failure in the minor points? Such failure is inevitable. If the bread-winner’s head is full of business, to the exclusion of the new poem or favorite opera, ought a wife to feel aggrieved? If in the worry and press of commercial affairs a man forgets that his wife has invited guests to din ner, is it the part of common sense to be made miserable by it, since the husband will come home sober when he does come, and solicitous only for the comfort of his family? It is impossible for most men to understand how vital these things are to women. Even the best and ten derest will not infrequently fall short of the mark in such matters. Women as a rule enjoy details. Men as a rule abhor them. Why weep and pity one’s self because of this fact? Shall we be wretched because our oak tree is not an asparagus bed f well? I am not writing now of husbands who ’ wllfnlllj Tiiift their wffci’ twangs, ’Mi of men who are great and good in the large, and who fail in the small simply because the smau does not appeal to tfieim This determination to find qual ities that do not exist, to force responses from lips which may be warm and lov ing, but which arc dumb to your wish, is a fruitful source of misery in married lift. Its effects are broad and far-reach ing. Education will ultimately develop more thoughtfulness in men and more philosophy in women, and for future generations, as well as for present com fort, wives would do well to consider the inevitableneas of the situation, and as far as possible adapt themselves to it. Most of the class who suflV* from not being understood could extract much more comfort from life if they would only think so, besides insuring pleasant fire sides and more harmonious chiliren. — Christian Union. • < > -Cetewayo, the ex Zulu King, has ab jured polygamy. • * DALTON, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 1882. Her Dear Richard. Mrs. Resolve had evidently read that first impressions help a law suit, and as she came out she puckered her mouth into a bouquet of roses, bowed sweetly and remarked: “Judge, I beg your pardon for this trouble.” “O, dont, Mrs. Resolve. It is no trouble at all, I assure you.” “It was a vexatious little mistake, you know, and I wouldn’t have had it happen forever so much.” “No, I presume not I see you are charged with disturbing the peace.” “All a mistake, Judge. My dear Richard is a great hand to frolic. He had been chasing me through the house, and as he went out I chased him to the walk and threw a splinter after him. He’ll be here directly and tell you that we live in the greatest harmony, and have never had one hard word in our fif teen years of wedded life.” “Is Richard Resolve in court?” called Bijah. “He are!” answered a solemn voice, and a man weighing about half as much as the woman, and having about half the surface of square feet, came to the front. He had his head tied up, one of his eves was going into mourning, and his nose had been peeled half its length. “Ah! this is my dear Richard!” ex claimed Mrs. Resolve, as she rushed to meet him. He waved her off. Then he cleared his throat. Then he removed the ban dage from his head. Then he said: “Judge, give her ninety-nine years in the Work House!” “O! Richard, how can you?” she pleaded. “Judge, she’s a .bad’tin. This is the way she serves me about six times a year, and if it can’t be stopped it’ll break down my constitution.” “Richard, am I not your devoted wife?” “No, sir!” “Don’t I love you to distraction?” “Not any!” “Won’t you tell His Honor that you fell down and hurt yourself while we were playing?” “Never! You played on me with a stick of stove-wood, and I hope you’ll go up!” “Darling, your mind wanders.” “And my body is going to wander, too! Judge, she’s worse than an Injun.” The witness fell back, and the woman leaned over the desk and whispered: “Really, I must send Richard to the insane asylum. He’s getting very flighty.” “And I’ll see what the Work House will do for you,” softly answered the Court. “I make it sixty days.” “Please, sir!” “Sixtv days, Mrs. Resolve.” “Well, I’m sorry, and I'm certain you’ll regret it,” she said, as she smiled and withdrew; but the moment she en tered the corridor she rushed at Bijab, bit him in the wrist, kicked his shins, scratched his chin and tore off his. collar, and she might have crippled him for life bad not two officers rushed in to his as sistance.—Detroit Free Press. o » Matrimonially Mixed. By a combination of circumstances Mrs. Rachel Foster and Mrs. Rachel Clark—who is one and the same person finds herself legally bound matrimonially’ to two husbands, and has applied to the courts to relieve her from the bonds of the double connubial knot. According to the papers in divorce filed by Mrs. Foster-Clark with the Prothonotary’ of the court of Common Pleas the lady in 1860, at the age of fifteen years, was married to Thomas Foster. Their hon eymoon was brief, for in two month’s they’ quarreled, and he left her to strug gle along as best she could. With the breaking out of the rebellion the truant husband went forth to the defence of his country’s flag and the girl-wife became a grass-widow only to don the widows weeds after the first battle of Bull Run, when word came home that Foster had fallen on the field of battle. In the spring of 1866 she succumbed to the wooing of Elisha Clark, who was connected with the United States marine corps, stationed in this city. They lived very happily’ together till 1881, when Mrs. Clarke made the discovery that in stead of occupying a hero’s grave her first husband was in the flesh and a resident of Bridesburg. They met on friendly terms, the peculiar situation in which the woman had placed herself by her second marriage with ('lark was discussed, and a separation from the latter followed. It was at this juncture that sjie sought the advice of counsel for assistance in extricating herself from the peculiar position in which she had been placed. She then filed in Common Pleas Court Room No3two libels in di voice,one from Foster on the grounds of a twenty years’ separation, ‘ind. 'hm-ritrWr 'from Clarke on the grounds that her marriage with him was voidable, owing to the libelant already having a husband living at the time the marriage ceremony was solemnized. Since the proceedings in divorce were commenced the fact has been developed that Foster, her first love in whose interest she instituted the suits, had also taken unto himself a second wife, thus complicating matters consid erably. When the case comes up for adjudication spicy revelations are prom ised . — Philaddph ia Times. —The London H’orW tells this story of Balzac: Balzac was the neighbor of Prince Z., and often used to pay him a visit in the morning, clad in the com pletest nciy/q/e. One day Balzac met at his neighbor's a niece of the Prince, and felt bound to excuse himself on the nature of his attire. “Monsieur.” replied the young ladv, “when I read your books I (lid not trouble myself about thy Wad ing. Instincts of Elephants, If nature has not given intellect to these animals, it has given them an in stinct very much akin to it. A man has only’ to hunt them in their wilds to learn how wonderfully Providence has taught them to choose the most favorable ground, whether for feeding or encamp ing, and to resort to jungles where their ponderous bodies so resemble rocks or the dark foliage, that it is very difficult for the sportsman to distinguish them from surrounding objects; while their feet are so constructed that not only’ can they’ tramp over any kind of ground, whether hard or soft, thorny’ or smooth, but without emitting a sound. Some of their encamping grounds are models of ingenuity—some of them perfect for tresses. I once followed up a herd and found them in a small forest surrounded on three sides by’ a tortuous river, im passable for ordinary mortals by reason either of the depth of water, its precipi tous banks, quicksands or entangling weeds in its bed, while the fourth side was protected by’ a tangled thicket, further protected by a quagmire in front. To get at them without disturbing them was impossible; at last, when I did get within shot of the forest, the elephants retreated by the opposite side to that by which I had approached, and after fol lowing them for several hours I did not get a shot. The damage done to rice crops, Mr. Sanderson thinks, is exag gerated. It maybe so in Mysore; but in Burmah, in many places, it is excessive. While employed on survey work in the Tharawaddie district, I have been fol lowed about by villagers pointing out the damage done and asking for a remission of tax, mistaking me for a revenue officer. No one supposes elephants have the rea soning powers possessed by’ man; if they had, we should be their slaves, and not they ours; but their instinct is wonderful. I will give a couple of instances: When war broke out with Burmah, a lot of ele phants were sent across from Bengal to Prome by land, under the charge of Capt ain Baugh, of the Bengal Twenty-sixth. Among them was a magnificent tusker. He took a dislike to this officer, why was not exactly known. Some said it was because he had knocked off the elephant’s neck his mahout; but be the reason what it may, this brute tried to kill Baugh, and him only, several times. I have seen him thrashed for this several times by other elephants armed with chains, who wield ed them much as a drummer does the lash at the halberds; but it was of no use, his dislike was inveterate, he would take no food except from a pet female, (he had two lashed alongside of him,) and eventually’ died at Shoaydoung. As a rule, elephants are timid, quiet, inoffen sive; but when wounded and closely’ fol lowed up, or females with young, their fury knows no bounds. They dread fire more than anything else; but one ele phant belonging to the battery’ in Assam was an exception, and would assist in putting out a fire. This same elephant would do what I never knew any other’ to do, viz., when a beast’s neck was cut through, all but the vertebrae, (it did not matter whether the beast was a buffalo, a deer, tiger, or anything else,) it would, when ordered, put a foot on the neck, twine the trunk around the head, and, with a. wrench, separate it from the body and hand it up to the mahout. I have seen one or two elephants that would hand a dead bird up; but most, of them will not touch anything of the sort. Nor would they’ intentionally tread upon a fallen man or beast—those used for exe cutions in the Guicor’s territories—Ba roda —have been taught to do so. Some foolish men teach their elephants to trample upon a dead body’, and by so doing ruin them for sport. An elephant, unless vicious by nature, will only do so at first with the greatest reluctance, but after a time, if anything falls before it, it is apt to charge, and if it does not kneel down suddenly and throw the oc cupant out of the howdah, it gets the animal between its legs, and plays a sort of football with it, throwing it backward and forward between the front and hind legs until it is of the consistency of a jelly. Men are occasionally thrown off the back of an elephant; what would their fate be mounted on a beast who had been taught such tricks? An ele phant I bought of Mr. Tye had once been cut by a rhinoceros. Nothing would induce her to enter a jungle where one of these animals was; the very slightest scent of one would send her fly ing. A splendid female muckna be longing to my department cared nothing for a tiger; would kick one out of her path without showing the slightest signs of uneasiness, but if she met a pony nothing could hold her.— London Field. Too«too .Esthetic. •• Yes, that’s the spot. You can see ivhat a beautiful esthetic splash it is,” ind she knelt softly. “O how tranquilly Delicious so-so purplish-pluming in color with such a lanquid tendency to spread,” answered her friend. “Yes, that just delineates it; and what a breath of expression—what power of concentration —it is positive genius.” “ I think mum,” said the scrub lady, “you moight get it out with gall. I've heerd ” “ Heard, not heerd, Bridgetina, and as to t hat splash on t he carpet, no money would tempt me to have it erased. Why that is where deal Mr. Oscar Wilde up set his inkstand when he kindly per mitted us to entertain him on his recent four. He is the apostle of beauty, Bridge tina.” “Faith, thin, if he was the apostle Pe ter, he shouldn’t spoile me foine carpet like that!” retorted the lady from Galway.— Detroit Post and Tribune. —We ought not to judge of man’s .merits by his qualifications, but by thu u«e he makes of them The Ros?*Rrowing Craze. In consequence of the extraordinary prices obtained for rosebuds dnrino’ the past two or three years, not only have the regular florists used their" large profits in extending the green-house structures for that purpose, but the fabulous reports of the profits of rose growing have excited the cupidity of many' capitalists in the vicinity’ of New York. Boston and Chicago, and in all probability’ in the other large cities of the Union. These men have an abundance of means, and begin on a scale usually at which the ordinary flor ist, who had to climb his way up, ends; so that we have already in the vicinity of New York at least a dozen establish ments for the forcing of rosebuds in winter, owned by men who count their capital by millions. These gentlemen, of course, know nothing practically about the business, relying altogether upon their gardeners for success—for who ever heard of a millionaire florist? Whether they do succeed or not in mak ing a profit of a few thousand dollars a year is not vital to men who count their income by the hundred thousand; yet it is curious with what interest the rise or fall of a few cents in the rose market is regarded even by them. New Jersey has more than her quota of these mill ionaire florists. Already we have four in Madison, one in Summit, and two in Orange, New Jersey, and it is said that there is as much interest manifested by them in the prices at which, in the tech nical slang of the flower-shops, “Cooks,” “Jacks,” “Mermets” and “Perles” are quoted in Broadway’ as is evinced in Wall Street in “ Wabash,” “ Lake Shore,” “ Erie” or “Central.” It is true that one, at least, of these gentlemen gives all the profits that accrue from his roses to charitable purposes; but it is feared that he has few imitators among his compeers in this particular; for the motive is the same as in all other invest ments —to get the largest profit possible from the smallest amount of money in volved. Within the past twelve months I have been consulted by at least a score of gentlemen about to embark in the business of rose-growing, and I have no doubt others of the trade have had the same experience. It is true that many of these amateur florists will get theh lingers burnt, and will not only never realize a dollar, on their investments, but will work at a loss; yet enough of them will succeed to give zest to the risk, for at present prices, when success is attained, the profits are so great as to produce the present “craze” on the sub ject—a “craze” that probably’ will re sult exactly as the Morns Multicaulis did in 1840, or the grapevine fever in 1865. All experience shows that in the perish able commodities of fruits, flowers, or vegetables, whenever an oversupply floods the market and brings down,/ > prices below a paying level, less is sold than when they bring a fair price. Two years ago, in .lune, strawberries and cabbage in the New York markets got so low as not to pay even the cost of mar keting. The result was that hundreds of loads ’had to be taken back and dumped in the manure yards, aS they could not be disposed of at any price. Some thirty years ago peaches one day fell down to twelve cents a basket in Washington Market, New York, and would not sell at that. In those days the crop was perhaps held by a score ol dealers only. They got their heads to gether and decided to destroy every peach in the market. It was done. A scarcity was produced and in twenty four hours peaches went up to one dollar a basket. The leader in the movement had no doubt been a disciple of Adam Smith, and had wisely studied the laws of supply’ and demand. The present excitement in rose-grow ing is no doubt largely due to the un precedented prices realized this winter, which have been caused in a great measure £>y the unusual heat and drouth of last autumn, which weakened in many casesfland in others entirely de stroyed, the plants that would have been used to produce the crop of flowers. This, together with a brisk demand, has resulted in profits which it is unreason able to expect can ever be long contin ued in any legitimate business. — Peter Henderson, in Gardeners' Monthly. DeLong and Franklin. The points of resemblance between Franklin and DeLong are too striking to escape attention now and in the records of historians hereafter. Their mission to the polar seas was substantially the same; both failed to accomplish the work for which they set forth; both exhibited the most heroic qualities of daring, en durance and fortitude, and both died of starvation. There is another point of re semblance which has pathetic interest, as the world remembers the woman whose, faith in her. husbanjl s return ha* remained steadfast through long month s of suspense, but .s to-day broken by the inUdliger.ee sent by Melville from the Lena delta Like Franklin, DeLong leaves behind him a noble wife to mourn his fate, and her sorrow challenges the sympathy which the world bestowed so freelv upon Lady Franklin. It remains for the American people to see that the memory of DeLong is honored like that of Franklin by his countrymen. The first duty of the Nation is to see that the body of the explorer, with the bodies of his comrades, is brought to America for honorable interment. It will then be a duty to see that a monument such as England erected to Franklin, isrearedto the memory of a hero whose name ill henceforth be a synonym for bravery and and manly fortitude. an ' Express. . _ —ln some thills ‘iialmt . is « greater plague than ever afflicted Eygpt; in tly x ' formation of -..baraeter it is an / TERMS: SI.OO A YEAR. SCHOOL AND CHURCH. —Moody and Sankey have de lined the invitation to spend a year in Lom'fon. —There is a school population of 741,. 331 in Missouri, and shool funds to the amount of $541,671.83 have just been distributed. —The Episcopal Clergymen’s Insur ance League had paid $316,000 to the widows and orphans of deceased clergy men during the last thirteen years. ° —As the result of a vote taken by sixty-one Presbyteries, instrumental music will be introduced into the. United Presbyterian Church of North America. The ballot stood 616 to 606. —There are ten groups of churches all subject to a general council. These are: Constantinople, Alexandria, Antioch, Jerusalem, Russia, Cyprus, Austria, Mount Sinai, Montenegro and the Hel lenic Church. The number of members in all of the branches is nearly 75,000,- 000. —The general minutes of the Metho dist Episcopal Chiffch, South, give these statistics for 1881: Traveling preachers, 3,704; superanuated preachers, 307; local preachers, 5.865; white members, 844,- 367; colored members, 993; Indian mem bers, 5,451; total ministers and members. 830,687, being an increase last year of 12,984; Sunday schools, 9,310; teachers, 62,442; scholars, 462,321 —increase last year, 21,707. —lt may surprise some persons to be told that the seat of learning in the United States having the largest income is the University of Michigan, which has $300,000 a year at its disposal. Harvard comes next, while Yale and Columbia are close together. In property be queathed by private individuals Harvard leads all the rest, of course, its entire endowment practically coming from that source.— Chicago Herald. —The Connecticut Legislature has provided that School Boards, on the pe tition of twelve adult residents, may order instruction in the public schools concerning the effects of intoxicating beverages. The liquor dealers in some of the cities are preparing to oppose the I use of text books made for the purpose/ by total abstinence societies and to insist on scientifically accurate works. The brewers will take a part in the contro versy by demanding that the children be taught that beer in moderation is not hurtful. —Elder David W. Patman, rather tht leading light of the so-called Hardshell Baptists of Georgia, is dead. He was an eccentric man, of no education, a blacksmith as well as a preacher, but a man of grej^' 1 and virtuous life. In his smalj>*' Cobbham, he preached forp*-' ms flock never grew very yjr was made up of white and people. They were separated > a railing, and the women sat apart from the men. They washed each others feet on communion Sundays with great solemnity. PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. —The difference between a “bad cent and a demolished apple” ‘hat one’s good for naught and the other’s gnawed for good. —ls people would follow Emerson’s resolution, “I cannot afford to be irrita ble,” there would be more happy fami lies in the country. —The Germans call a spinster “Ein iitzen-gcbliebenes Mtedchen,” “a maid left sitting.” Much more euphonious than our epithet of “ old maid.” —A wise and learned doctor gives forth the information that gulf weed is an antidote for obesity. He docs not say, however, whether it is to be worn about the hat or applied as a plaster.— Chicago Inter-Ocean. —lt is said that the proportions of the human figure are six times the length of the feet, "but there must be a mistake about it. We have never heard of any •St. Louis woman nine feet high. — Peck's f Milwaukee Sun. -“A Lady Subscriber” ask' w’ jf Paris papers are so wicked. We do know, but an exchange informs u* there are 100 women journalists in Does that help you any?— —Post obit: Mrs. Malloy— <, u Mrs. McGinnis, an’ it’s rathe, yer looking this morning.” Mrs. nis—“lndade, thin, Mi’s. o-ood raison I’m havin’ to look Here’s the postman just been doore to tell me there’s a dead waitin’ fur me at the postoffice» can’t for the life of me chink wh<TTt that’s dead.”-- The Judge. —The twain were in the palace car— Said he: "1 do believe me This vehicle hath lungs;” said she: “How Thoma*? Undeceive mol “ I will.” he added, pointing at A ventilator pannel. “ It must be so, for don’t you That Bullman-airy | 4ta.yie[ TE . | . ZK - What shall vre do wi is the serious question wh article of importance going,, of the W hy not Utahlu said the paragraphed Then a report as if a cannon had explode, a we-shall-mcet-and-we-shall-miss-t expression on the faces of the survivi members of the force. —“ You are looking bad,” remar’ Snowbergcr Colonel Percy Y** “What’s the matter?” ‘ says my lungs are affectmTand that I must not take more thaiy4hree drinks a dav ” “I would try son/ 1 other doctor. “1 did, and be Saiffi/he same thing. “Well, then, tn ike-- ux xXn resf o;f ( j JO take three Lid that 'Truike about srxfy " , i.s as much as is gv 01 Texas Stylings.