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■nmnier Colds f:
Op noted for hanging on. g
IjWiey weaken your throat jC
{■Bid lungs, and lead to
»®rious trouble.
ZaDon’t trifle with them.
Wwake Scott’s Emulsion at
It soothes, heals, Jh
*WKd cures. JS
50c. and sl. All druggists. S?
EKIE ARG LIS DEVIL.
I
“devil” has disappeared from
". ■h* itox Abgus. Has he gone
7g l ». 01 -t jSob Ingersoll to a warmer
rflKte ?—Rome Tribune.
■s, that’s just where I went; but
K there I went a good deal lower
t han Bob— way down to the
■ttly-iiot furnace where the delin
' ■t subscribers are! roasted. But
gK) soon fired me; I got to chasing
of them around that there
fear of stopping his business.
bH I enjoyed the chase while it
MRed, for Hades had such a familiar
bearing a very striking resem-
Kmicc to Rome. *
■id you ever put your feet in the
aS and get surfeited with the surf
oKour feet? No? Well, indeed;
Zso did nobody else! For surf
Hliing is the most fascinating, en-
Zable thing on earth. And yet it
Z its funny side; its drawbacks as
S)l as its charms.
Wne morning, while at Tybee with
■> press gang, The Devil went
Zvn about 4 a. in. to take a plunge.
When he went in, he was the only
■rson in sight, and he enjoyed an
■quisite ride on the waves.
K)id you ever see a gentleman’s
■thing costume ? No? Well, you
■n’t want to, unless it is hanging
Kto dry. It is cut so high up and
■ low down that it is not a difficult
■after for an active man to button
Re end of his pants legs to his collar
iJltton. And then the only fastening
i a puckerstring around the waist,
lat is too short to tie tight, and too
>tten to stand any strain.
Well, I had on one of those jib
ails drawn very taut, and was sport
ig in the waves, when I spied a
ouple heading for the beach right
rhere I was. He was a porpoise of
early three hundred pounds; she a
ragile lily of about ninety. They
:ame gaily in, and nodding good
norning, began to enjoy the surf.
Once or twice before they came in,
i had felt my costume become quite
lervous in regard to staying witli me.
Once I almost severed my right
toe with a broken sea shell, and
while holding it lovingly in one
hand, I felt a sand crab clinch my
'other toe in his firm grasp, and made
a violent lunge for the shore. My
puckerstring broke, and I came very
near losing “the other half” of my
costume. I was thinking of an ex
perience of Editor Tom Loyless of
the Macon News, who, overtaken by
a huge billow, had his puckerstring
broken, and before he could regain
his feet, the sad sea waves had
stolen his costume, robe de nuit and
all, and poor Tom had to lie down in
shallow water until the shades of eve
were falling so fast that he was able
to make a sneak for the dressing
room, and get a late supper. Yes, I
was thinking of Tom’s experience as
I saw them come in the surf.
There had been a storm at sea the
night before, and the billows were
rolling mountain high—as deceptive
in their beautiful white caps as the
fair face of a young girl. The couple
were sporting just ahead of me,
about twenty feet nearer the shore,
when one of the grandest billows
that man ever had the joy of riding
came in. I saw it and rode it nicely,
getting only a slight ducking. But
it caught the couple unawares. A
thousand tons of brine hit the por-
F°’se alongside and sent him floun
dering to the beach ; the fragile lily
loosed her hold on him, and went un
der witli a scream just as I arose on
the cre«t of the wave. I made a
lunge for her, and caught her by the
wrist just as she was ready to go un
der the second time.
But, alas, alack-aday! Just as I
caught her wrist, my puckerstring
broke. Visions of Tom Loyless and
having to lie in the water all day
came over me. I grasped my cos
tume with tlie other hand, and my
bosom was the great battle
ground for a royal tournament
«r,Vn eeu chivalry and modesty,
‘-hall I say it? Modesty conquered,
anti us she arose spluttering the sec-
THE DALTON ARGUS, SATURDAY, JULY 29, 1899.
ond time. I reached bottom with my
feet and began to lead her to the
shore just as another billow sub
merged us. She screamed again,
and in my forgetfulness, I loosed my
hold on that costume, and grabbed
her firmly and placed heron her feet,
just as her porpoise-husband came
puffing up to take her hand.
But,dear me; 1 was nearly Loyless
fashion. My costume wasn’t gone,
but the entire layout had yielded to
a charitable impulse to gather
around my feet and protect them
from the crabs. In a stooped posi
tion I scrambled into deep water,
and my departure was so unceremo
nious and so hurried that the lady
had to explain to her husband that I
was not ducking her, and did not flee
to escape his wrath.
I swam about a quarter of a mile
up the beach before I went into
shallow water, adjusted my costume
and went up to the hotel.
I did not see the couple any more.
lam glad I did not. I hope I never
will. I am afraid they saw too
much of me even in the short time I
was with them.
* *
If you can’t cure a thing, it is wise
to endure it. But no brave person
endures what can be cured. Trouble
and disappointment, failure and re
buff can only give more courage to
the courageous, and strength to the
strong.
• »
John Flemister says the latest
trust that has been formed is the
“Society Trust,” recently organized
in Dalton by a few boys of the
“Younger Set.” John says they
have a corner on all the pretty girls,
and hold their stock exhorbitantly
high.
* «
The difference between an acquain
tance and a friend is this: The ac
quaintance rarely disappoints you;
the friend almost always does—if you
expect any return of friendship.
* *
“Truth crushed to earth will rise
again”—to get crushed once more
immediately.
• •
Don’t talk so much. You miss
learning a good deal by not listening
to others.
» »
As a rule Rev. Lingle is a phlegmat
ic, self-possessed sort of fellow, and is
a hard one to embarass. But they say
he was knocked off his pins com
pletely last Saturday night. It was
out at Union Point, and a man stepped
up to him and asked:
“Say, mister; would you marry a
feller right this minute?”
Mr. Lingle blushed and replied that
he had much rather marry a girl if
he had to marry. The man explained
that he wanted the marriage cere
mony performed.
Mr. Lingle is brave, and although
he had never married a couple before,
lie tried his hand. The boys say he
blushed worse than the bride, and
forgot to ask half the questions, but
he spliced them all right, and all
parties were happy (Mr. Lingle not
excepted) when the ceremony was
over.
• #
About two years ago, an Indiana
woman presented her husband with
three girls, and they were named
Faith, Hope and Charity. Week
before last, patriotically yielding to
Uncle Sam’s demand for soldiers, she
gave him four boys, and he has
named them Dewey, Schley, Funston
and Wheeler. The war was evident
ly a fortunate thing for them—it
seems to have prevented them from
running out of names.
* *
Berry Bowen says he met a nice
editor while away—the first real nice
one he ever saw—and he traveled in
his company five or six hours. The
boys say they believed that the editor
was nice until they learned that he
stayed five or six hours in Berry’s
company.
Some people may think “gathering
shells by the seashore” is a romantic
business, but I can now assure them
that it takes a powerful lotof romance
to cover an exercise that is hotter
than plowing in the sun and more
tiresome than picking dwarf cotton.
Romance —rats !
* ♦
“The new bloomer dress,” says a
fellow-devil, “is a pair of pants baggy
at the knees, abnormally full at the
pistol pockets, and considerably full
where you strike a match. The gar
ment is cut decolette at the south
end, and the bottoms are tied around
.....
Beauty
Is the result of careful selection in ;
; foot wear. Poor shoes ineun ill- |
shaped feet. The celebrated
J. B. LEWIS CO.
“Wear-Resisters”
create foot beauty. They fit well,
look well and wear longer than any
other shoe made. All sizes, to suit
t everybody. For sale by ■
r J. B. LEWIS CO.. Boston, Mass.
” (Lewis "Wear Resisters’’ for sale by
“SPOT CASH TAPP.”
Russells Engines.
SAW MILL ’ O
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The Sanders Manufacturing Company
handle the Light Running Florence Wagon, thoroughly reliable on the road, full guar
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PLANO BINDERS, MOWERS AND RAKES ;
perfectly satisfactory to users. Flying Dutchman Disc Plows, positively the very best.
McSherry Disc Drills; superiority apparent to every farmer who uses them, no other
Wheat Drill has oat stirrer and seat; strongest made and handsomest finish. Disc Har
rows. Cultivators, riding and walking, Rambler and Ideal Bicycles with latest imprve
ments. Light Hardware. Buggy and Wagon Material.
WRITE US, or better still, call and see us on Hamilton Streef.
THE SANBERSIMUFAGTURM GO.
General Agents, Dalton, Georgia.
the ankles or knees to keep the mice
out. You can’t put it over your head
like you do your shirt, nor around
you like a corset, but you must sit on
the floor and pull it on just as you do
your stockings, one foot at a time in
each compartment. You can easily
tell the right side to have in front by
the buttons on the neckband.
« »
“Truth is mighty and will preval”
—but the liar gets in his work while
truth sleeps.
♦ •
The papers state that Bob Inger
soll’s remains are to be cremated.
Unnecessary waste of labor. Bob
will be cremated all right enough.
♦ *
They say a person thinks very
rapidiy in tlie face of death, but if
you want to see that person think by
electricity and act at the rate of
1,200 revolutions to the minute, just
observe that person when his or her
bathing suit feels like it is going to
bid them a fond farewell. That’s
what I call moving.
* •
Rev. Luke Johnson is a comforting
as well as a strengthening preacher.
He said Sunday that God was not
only a forgiving God, but that he did
not"place the same estimate upon sins
that human beings did—all sin was
alike to him, and each sin truly
repented of was quickly forgiven, and
when forgiven was forgotten and
never more brought up against the
offender.
What a sweet old world this would
be, if human beings tried to be God
like.
* *
He said he was going to kiss her.
She threatened to scream.
I. heard the “buss” plainly.
I could find nobody who heard the
scream.
The old, old story, eh ?
* «
When a man’s wife goes away for
the Summer he has to fall back on the
newspapers for local news.—Puck.
• «
Tlie trouble is generally with us.
We expect to be patted on the back
for doing our duty-, and to have our
efforts to do good appreciated and
remembered. The world differs with
us; it knows we must not feel too
good, lest we get proud and become
useless.
» *
The populistic-socialistic idea is
thus emphasized in a conversation
reported between an English woman
and an Irishman.
“So you’d have all the money in
the world divided equally,would ye?”
said the woman.
“Signs on it I would,” said the
man, with a slight taste of brogue
which emphasized his earnestness.
“I would that. Every man would
have the same amount of money.”
“And what would you do,” asked
the woman, with a bit of fun in her
eye, “when you’d drunk up all your
fortune ?”
The man’s excitement did not
abate, and he replied without a
I moment’s hesitation: “Why, then,
Iby heavens, we’d have to level it off
' once more, d’ye see, and divide over
again.”
• *
Don’t think yourself extra shrewd ;
the other fellow’s shrewd, too. If
you are shrewd enough to always
recognize his shrewdness, you may
prove the shrewder. If "not. his
shrewdness may prove that he is
shrewder than you.
* *
A funny thing about the ladies at
the seashore is that most of them will
hide their faces on the way to the
waves, but not their figures. At
home, they hide their figures and are
glad to have their faces seen.
• »
“P. D.” says that the ague is a
powerful shaky thing, but that he had
rather have all the chills in Georgia
than to have one girl give him the
shake.
* *
There are two kinds of people we
can’t bear—those who can’t see our
jokes, and those who see them and
don’t laugh at them.
* *
A wag thus describes the differ
ence between a honeycomb, a honey
moon and a pretty girl: “A honey
comb is a little cell; a honeymoon is
a big sell, and a pretty girl is a dam
sel.”
• •
An East Tennessee editor recently
asked his pastor home to dinner with
him. The invitation was accepted
and when the preacher noted the
scant fare upon the table, he asked
a blessing as follows: “Lord, make
us thankful for what we are about to
receive, and then strengthen us to
journey home after we have received
it.”
As old man Posey used to say,
“that’s no lie-bill.”
• *
Young girls don’t like the kissing
bug. They object to any innovation
in the good old way. The old maid
also objects to this bug, because he
prevents her from declaring, “I’m
forty, and I have never been kissed.”
* ♦
A fellow-devil gives this as an
8-year-old girl’s composition!
“Once there was a poor young man
who was in love with a rich girl,
whose mother had a large candy
Store. The young man wanted to
marry the candy lady’s daughter,
but he was too poor to buy furniture.
One day a bad man offered him
twenty-five dollars to become a
drunkard. The poor young man was
dreadfully tempted, because he
wanted to be rich enuf to marry the
candy lady’s daughter. But when
he got to the saloon door with the
bad man he said: “I will not break
my pledge even to be rich ; get thee
behind me, Satan.’ So he went
home, and on the way found a pocket
book with one hundred million dol
lars in it. So he went and told the
candy store lady’s daughter and they
were married. They had a lovely
wedding, and the next day they had
twins. Thus you see that Virtue is
its own reward.”
“Yea, verily; virtue is its own re
ward, and truly its only reward.
For indeed, there is little encourage
ment in this world either to do good
or to be good, Thb Devil.
DeWitt’s Little Early Kisers expel
from the system all poisonous accumula
tions, regulate the stomach, bowels and
liver, purify the blood. They drive
away disease, dissipate melancholy and
give health and vigor for the daily roun
tine. Do not gripe orsicken. Bryant &
Fincher.
A Thousand Tongues.
Could not express the rapture of Annie
E Springer, of 1125 Howard st., Phila
delphia, Pa., when she found that Dr.
Kind’s New Discovery for Consumption
had completely cured her of a hacking
cough that for many years had made life
a burden. AH other remedies and doc
tors could give her no help, but she says
of this Royal Cure —‘‘it soon removed
the pain in my chest and I cut now
sleep soundly, something I can scarcely
remember doing before. I feel like
sounding its praises throughout the
universe.” So will every one who tries
Dr King’s New Discovery for any trouble
of the Throat, Chest or Lunge. Price
50c. and SI.OO Trial bottles free at
Bryant & Fincher’s Drug (Store; every
bottle guaranteed.
That Lame Hack can bo cured wlta
Dr. Miles’ NERVE PLASTER. Only 25c.
Summerßeports.
Many delightful summer resorts are
situated on and reached via Southern
Railway. Whether one desires the sea
side or the mountain, the fashionable
hotels or country homes, they can be
reached via this magnificent highway of
travel.
Ashville, N. C , Hot Springs, N. C.,
Roan Mountain, I’enn., and the mountain
resorts of Rast Tennessee and Western
North Carolina —“The Land of the SUy”
—Tate NpiingH, 'l’enn., Oliver bprings,
I’enn., Lookout Mountain, Tenn., Monte
Sano, Huntsville, Ala., Lithia Springs,
Ga., ami various Virginia Springs; also
the seashore resorts are reached by the
Southern Railway on convenient sched
ules and very low rates.
The Southern Railway lias issued a
handsome folder, entitled “Summer
Homes and Resorts,” descriptive of
nearly one thousand summer resorts
hotels ami boarding houses, includ
ing information regarding rates for
hoard at the different places and rail
road rate to reach them.
Write to C. A. Benscoter, Assistant
General Passenger Agent, Southern
Railway, Chattanooga, Tenn., for a copy
of this folder.
CUBAN RELIEF cures
I luillvl S Colic, Neuralgiaand Toothache
■ ’ v in five minutes. SourStonwh
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Bryant & Fincher’s for
the best cold drinks.
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