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SI )t CftUjmm Counts Conrief,
Vol, 2.
The Courier.
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JESSE E. MERCER,
Editor aud Publisher.
Railroad Schedule,
IU.AKELY EXTENSION.
Leaves Blakely daily at 7:30 a. m.; ar¬
rives at Arlington at 8:30 a. m.; arrives at
Leary at 9:89 a. m.; arrives at Albany at
11:30 a. ra. arrives at
Leaves Albany at 4:20 p. m.;
Leary at 5:58 p. m.; arrives at Arlington
at 6:57 p.m.; arrives at Blakely at 8:12
p. m.
Gouaif, Directory.
SUPERIOR COURT.
lion. B. B. Bower. Judge; J. W. Watters,
BulUUor General; J. II. Coram, Clerk.
1 ■'• ring term convenes on second Monday
MS *£. Fall term on second Monday
COUNTY OFFICERS.
Ordinary, A. I. Monroe: Sheriff, W. W.
Gladden; fax Collector, E. S. Jones; Tax
Receiver, Thos. E. Cordray; Treasurer, C.
II. Gee; County School Commissioner, J.J.
Beck; County Surveyor, C. 1*. Norton; Cor¬
oner, A. G. Gadson.
COUNTY COURT.
L. G. Unitledge, Judge. Quarterly ses¬
sions 4th J/ouday in February, May. Au¬
gust and November. Monthly sessions,
every 4th Monday.
COMMISSIONERS R. R.
John Colley, J. G. Collier and J. T. B.
Fain. Courts held 1st Tuesday in each
month.
JUSTICES OF THE PEACE AND
NO T A It IES P UBEIC.
574th District—R. J. Thigpen, J. P.; C.
F. Blocker. N. P. and Ex-officio J. P.
Courts held third Wednesday in each
month.
U23d District—J. L. Wilkerson, J. P.
John Hasty, N. P. Courts held second
Thursday in each month.
626th District—J. C. Price, J. P.; N. W.
Pace, N. P. Courts held third Saturday
in each raonth. •
1283d District—C. J. McDaniel, J. P.
Courts held first Saturday in each month.
1316—Thos. W. Holloway; J.P. C. L.
Smith' N: P. Courts held 2nd Saturday
In each month.
1304—Thos. H. Griffin, J. P. John A.
Cordray, N. P. Courts held 1st Saturday
each mouth.
Baker Gsuaty Directory.
SUPERIOR COURT.
B. B. Bower, Judge; J. IU. Walters, So¬
licitor General; B- F. Hudspeth, Clerk,
Spring term convenes on first Monday in
May. Fall terra on first Monday in No¬
vember.
COUNTY COURT.
John O. Perry. Judge. Monthly ses¬
sions held first Mondays—Quarterly ses¬
sions.
COMMISSIONERS R. R.
W. W. Williams. T. H. Caskie, J. II.
Boddiford, H. T. Pullen. Courts held on
first Tuesdays in eacli month.
county Officers.
Ordinary, W. T. Livingston; Sheriff, Odom J.
B. George; Tax Collector, R. B.
Tax Receiver, J. M. Odom: Treasurer, L.
G. Rowell; Surveyor, C. D. Brown; Coro-
nar, B. D. Hall.
JUSTICES OF THE PEACE AND NO¬
TARIES PUBLIC.
97Ut District—S. J. Livingston, J. P,;
W. C. Odom. N. P.: Courts held 1st Sat¬
urday in each month.
900th District—G. T. Galloway J. P.;
T. It. Caskie, N. P-; Courts held 2nd
Saturday in each month.
957th District—G. D. Lamar, J. P., II
S. Johnson, N. P. Courts held 3d Satur¬
day in eacli month.
1123 District—L. J. Mathis. J. P.:R. E.
McCullun, N. B,. Courts held 4tk Aatur-
sav in month.
WAY OYER THE GOLDEN SEA.
BY a. W. DUKE El!.
Way over the golden sea
Bright forms of loved ones I see,
As they stand on the shore
I behold them them once more,
And gently they beckon to me.
Way over the golden sea
A mother stands waiting for me,
And a halo of light,
Makes her glorgiously brigli;
As gently she beckons to ms.
Way over the golden sea
A father stands waiting for me,
And hie voice I can hear,
Gome this way—“do not fear,”
As ho beckons me over the soa.
Way over the golden sea
A sister stands waiting for me,
As resting iu love
In the West home above,
She lovingly beckons to me.
Way over the golden sea
Is a land from sorrow set free,
And no storms assail,
Though my bark it be frail,
While the loved ones still beckon to
me.
Sistings.
The Small Boy on Errands.
Where is the small boy going?
The small boy is going on an er¬
rand:
How do you know that the small
boy is going on an errand?
Because t be small boy is in such a
hurry.
How can you tell that the small boy
is in a hurry?
I can tell you by the thoroughness
with which he examines everything
about him.
Is this exercise veiy exhausting?
Exceedingly; you see that he has to
sit down and rest before he h is half
completed his survey.
But what jis the small boy doing
now?
In order to get to his destination
the quicker, he ha-s jumped upon a
passiug wagon.
But the wagou is going in the direc¬
tion from which he came.
It makes no difference. All roads
lead to Rome, yon know, and all the
directions are the same to the small
boy. The only directions ho is care¬
less of are those which were given
him when he started on his errand.
Wbat is the small boy doing now?
The small boy is now playing mar¬
bles with another small boy.
Then he has forgotten his errand?
Ob, no; he is only exercising his
memory. He is trying to see bow long
be can remember his errand amidst
distracting circumstances.
Will the small boy ever get to his
destination?
He will if he keeps on in the direc -
tion he is now crawling.
How soon do you think?
I cannot say; but I once heard of a
man who went around the world in 80
days.— Boston Transcript.
The Deadly Parasol.
Why does the young lady hag her
sunshade so affectionately?
She is in the employ of a surgeOD.
In the employ of a surgeon? What
do you mean?
Do you not see the crutch of her
sunshade now protruding from her
left shoulder?
Ob, yes, I see that quite plainly.
There, did you see her gouge out
that gentleman’s eye?
It was neatly done.
Very; that is probably the twentieth
eye she has obliterated during her
walk. Tiie surgeon will pav her for
*
her kindness to him. •
Does she confine her operations to
optics?
No; sometimes she destroys a nose,
and occasionally slashes a cheek.
She is very versatile. She is more
terrible than au army with banners.
But do not the gentlemen bate her?
Ob, no, they love aud admire her,
but they detest and despise her para
sol.
Great is he who enjoys his earthen¬
ware as if it were plate, aud not less
great is the man to whom all his plate
is no more than earthenware.—Leigh¬
ton.
LEARY, GA m FRIDAY, AUGUST 24, 1883.
How Mark Twain Secured a Sec¬
tion in a Sleeper.
My dignity was in a state now
which cannot be described. I was so
ruffled that—well, I said to my com¬
panion, “If these people know who I
am they—” but my companion cut me
short there and said, “don’t talk such
folly. If they diet know who you are,
do you suppose it would help your
high mightiness to a vacancy in a
train wliicl^lias no vacancies iu it?”
This did not improve my condition
any to speak of, but just then I ob¬
served that the colored potter of a
sleeping ear had his eyet on me. I
saw his dark countenance light up.
He whispered to the uniformed con¬
ductor, punctuating with nods aud
jerks towards me, and straightway
this conductor came forward, oozing
politeness at every pore, and said:
“(Jan I be of any service? Will you
have a place iu the sleeper?” “Yes,’’
I said, “aud much obliged too. Give
me anything, anything will answer.”
He said: “We have nothing left but
the big family stateroom with two
berths and a couple of arm chairs in
it, but is entirely at your disposal.
Here, Tom, take those satchels
aboard.”
He touched his hat and wo aud the
colored boy moved along. I was just
bursting to drop ono word to my com¬
panion, but I held in and 'waited.
Tom made us comfortable iu that
sumptuous great apartment aud then
said, with many bows aud a perfect
affluence of smiles, “Now is dey any¬
thing you want, sail? don’t make no
difference what it is.” I said, ‘Can I
have some hot water and a tumbler at
6 to-night, blazing hot? You know
about the right temperature for a hot
scotch punch.” “Yes, sail, dat you
kiujjou can pend on it. I’ll get it
“Good! now that lamp is
hung too high. Can I have a big
coach candle fixed up jnst at the head
of my bed so I can read comfortably?”
“Yes, sah, you kin; I’ll fix it up my¬
self, an’ I’ll fix her so she’ll burn all
uight. Yes, sah, an’ you can jes call
for anything you wants, an’ dis yer
whole railroad’ll be turned wroDg end
up an, inside out for to git it for you.
Dat’s so.” And he disappeared.
Well, I tilted my head back; hooked
my thumbs in my arm-hole, smiled a
smile on my companion, and said gen¬
tly, “Well, wbai do you say now?”
My companion was not in the humor
to respond, aud didn't. The next
moment that smiling black face was
thrust in at the erack of the door and
this speech followed: “Laws bless
you, sah, I kuowed you in a minute.
I told de conductah so. Laws! I
kuowed you de n>.innte I sot eyes on
you.” “Is that so, my boy? (Hand¬
ing him a quadruple fee.) Who am I?”
“Junnel Modeller),” and he disap¬
peared again. My companion said
vinegarishly. “Well, well! what do
you say now?” Eight there comes in
the marvelous co-incident I mention¬
ed a while ago, vix, I was— speechless
and that is my couditioo new. Per¬
ceive it.
Once More the Boy is Ahead-
Among the guest of a New York ho¬
tel was a maiden lady from the rural
districts. The landlord roticed that
about 9 o’clock every night she would
come down stairs, get a pitcher of ice-
water and return to her room.
“One night.” lie said, “I made bold
to speak to her, aud asked why she did
not ring the bell for a hall-boy to bring
the ice-water to her.
“But ihere is no bell in my room.”
“No bell in your room, madam!
let me show you, and with that
I took the p.teller of ice water in my
hand and escorted her to her apart-
ment. Then I pointed ont to her the
knob of the electric bell. She gazed a*
it with a sort of horror, and then ex-
claimed.-
“Dear me! Is that a bell? Why,
tiro kail t>oy told me that was the fire-
alarm signal, and that I must never
touch it, except in oaseof fire!’
“And that is how the hall boy saved
himself the trouble of goi^g for
water.”— New York Star.
A tornado is very much like the
quack doctor who strikes a new town.
It comes with a big blow, and
dessolation follows.
Prepared for the Cholera-
be laboring under considerable excite¬
ment, halted a policeman oa Lamed
street yesterday, and asked:
“Say, boss, what ’bout dat ’Gyp-
slinu cholera de papers am mukin’ sich
a fins ober?”
“Why, they have the cholera over
there,” was the reply.
“An’ she’s gwine to spread to dis
feentry?”
“It may.”
“An’ dey say it’s powerful hard on
de cull’d populashun. . Man up Wood¬
ward avenue told dat it jumped right
ober white folks to get at a black one.”
“I believe that’s so.”
“Wall,-Ize gittin’ ready fur it. Ize
carryin’ an onion in each breeches
pocket. Woman on de market tole mo
dat was a suro stand-off.”
“I shouldn’t wonder."
“An’ Ize dunkin' a cup full o' vine¬
gar wid kyann pepper sprinkled in.
Hardware man tole me dat was boss
thing.”
“Yes.”
“An’ Ize soakin’ my feet in sour
milk freb nights in a week an’ rubbin’
my spins wid keaosino ilo. “"'clier
up Michigan avenue tole mo dat was
asartin preventitive.”
“I should think it was.”
“An’Ize got tarred papea an’ cut
soles to wear in my butes. Ouo of do
aldermen tole mo dat do cholery alius
strikes de feet fust thing. I reckon it
won,t git frew dat tarred paper. An’
Ize been chewin’ a gum made of bees¬
wax aik’ taller, wid a leetle camphor-
gum rolled in, An’ Ize been bled
twice in de lust month, an’ bad a tootli
pulled, an’ my ba’r cut, an’ my photo¬
graph taken, an’ I reckon if de cholera
comes friskin’ around Detroit I needn’t
bo oneasy .”—Detroit Free Press.
Topnoody.
When Topnoody came home from
his office, his wife was in a particular
disturbed frame of mine.
•‘What is the matter, my dear?” he
kindly inquired.
“Don’t ask me that kind of a ques¬
tion, Topnoody. when you know how
much work I have to do about this
house to keep you comfortable,” she
answered.
“Why don’t you get a hired girl,
my dear, to help you?”
“Because I don’t want any hired
girls arouud the house as long as you
live here.”
“You are not joalous, I hope, my
dear? ’
“Oh, no, I’m not jealous, Topnoody.
I flatter my sex that I am the- only
one in the whole category who conld
be susceptible to the blandishments
of a Topnoody.”
“Then why not get the hired girl,
my dear?”
“For the simple reason, Topnoody,
that I don’t want you to be wearing
yoifrself to a physical bankruptcy try¬
ing to make a mash on the girl, when
there ain’t no more show for you than
there is for a politician to enter the
Kingdom of Heaven. One total
wreck in the family is enough, and as
I’m playing the total wreck act at
present, and don’t want to have extra
bother iu patching you up with liver
pads and mustard plasters. Not any
of that, thank you, in mine, until
after sroat. You men think you are
always mighty sharp, but tha women
ain’t fools, if they do have to work
hard and be sabmissive. Jealous, in¬
deed! Why, a hired girl who would
let you smile at her wouldn’t have
sense enough to carry slops to a pig.
Now skip around and bring in some
water and some coal, and fix up the
fire so I cart get your sripper ready.’,
Topnoody skipped.— Drummer.
The Oil City Blizzard tells the fol¬
story: “An Oil City man, who
a limb in the war, has never ap
for a pennon. When asked why
nevor made application, he explain¬
ed that lie felt amply compensated for
the loss, because his wife eloped with
another man while he was in the
“I was so mad at George last night,
said a girl of her sweotheart. “Yes,”
said the ill-natured brother, “I noticed
when I looked in the parlor, that
in arms. *3
were up •
Kiss Quick, Nobody is Looking.
One evening last week, while coming
from Long Brunch on a boat, a maid¬
en fair to see sat with her lover in the
corner. The writer sat outside, near
tho window.
“Do you remember wlion we first
met, darlipg?" he asked.
“Yes, pet., sbo auswered, in oleom¬
argarine accents.
“Do we love <ach other as well and
truly as we did then?”
“Yes, sweet.”
“Will we always love each other as
we do now?”
“Yes, dove; I trust and pray that
we may!”
“One kiss, then. Quick! Nobody
is looking”
With eyes uplifted, looking love, she
pursed her cherry lips, and just as the
critical moment arrived a cruel, horrid
man with a humpback nose aud saw-
buck eyes poked his head through the
window and remarked:
“You didn’t see any thing ov my
terbaoker did yer? I was siltin’ in tha^
corner. O, no! Here it is! Beg par¬
don!” and as be fished a paper of to¬
bacco from his coat tail pocket his
head disappeared.
She resembled a Roman motile 1 ’
pleading for her babes, and if she had
had a guttling gun with her there
would have been murder,— N. Y.
World.
A Disgusted Practical Joker.
A member of the Wyndham Come¬
dy Troupe has a penchant for suakes
and has put all his leisure time hunt¬
ing in Marin county for a rattle¬
snake. A friend of the gentlemanly
snake-hunter fixed a little plant for
him the other day. He procured
from a natumlist a large specimou of
the grass snake and bought r» rattle
at a toy shop. The snake was placed
on one aide of a large bush and the
practical joker took tho other with
his rattle. The actor was then steered
to tho plant by the suggestion that
the bush was a favorite resting plaoe
for those reptiles but he was warned
of the vicious manner iu which the
true California rattlesnake attacked
strangers. The actor, nothing daunt¬
ed, armed himself with a club and
advanced on the bush. The joker
pulled the string, jerked the snake
into eight nnd sprung Ilia rattle. The
actor launched his club at the mon¬
ster, missed him, hut fetched the
man in ambush a fearful whaok on
the head, which brought him to grass.
Result—a disgusted aud sorely wound¬
ed joker and an actor who thinks
California rattlesnake hunting a delu¬
sion .—San Francisco Examiner.
A young man in Washington, who
writes exquisite verses but is almost
starving for lack of renuraerative em¬
ployment, and who for ahmg time has
been trying in vain to get a place iu a
Government bureau, the otlier day got
friend to write to “Gail Hamilton,”
invoking her supposed influence in his
behalf. Some of the young man’s ver¬
ses were inclosed in the letter, as a sam¬
ple of his literary ability. Mi is Dodge,
disclaiming the possession of any “in¬
fluence,” rep I sod in a serio-comic vein,
iu part as follows: “I have ordered
two departments to send me a first-
class office in fifteen minutes. If both
come I shall be embarrassed. If your
young gentleman oould only take care
of a horse and a garden as well as he
writes verses, I could employ him my¬
self for the summer, and pay him bet
ter than poetry, alas! But no! I shall
have to eat bard corn und wilted Jet-
luce all summer for want of a garden¬
er, while your young man will have
nothing to eat for want of work.”
“Hobson,’* said Muggins, “they
tell me you’ve taken your boy away
from the graded school. What’s that
for?” “Cause.” said Hobson, “the
master aint fit to teach ’im.” “Oh,”
said Muggins, “I’ve heard he’s a very
good master.” “Well,’’replied Hob¬
son, apologetically, “all I know is he
wanted to teach my boy to spell ’taters
with a ‘p’ ”
Times of general calamity nnd con¬
fusion have ever beeu productive of
the gieatest minds. The purest ore
is produced frem the l>ott< st furnace,
and the brightest thunderbolt U elici¬
ted from the dorktst sloim.—Colton.
No. j;
Chaff.
Thera is a hog in Nashville with his
ears so far back that he eon not hear
himeelf squeal.
The reason ‘ the boy stool on the
burning deck,” was because it was too’
hot to sit down.
New York women dress to natch
their dogs; whine color; we suppose;
is the popular shade.
The favorite perfume of the Empress
Josephine was musk. People who
blamo Napoleon for divorcing h£r
should stop to consider this.
The high school girls Bays the ex¬
pression “gof the bulge” will soon be
superseded by “obtained convexity,”
and so we hasten to remark tlirt mud¬
stones have “obtained couvexity” over
other summer fables.
All the best needloworkers in New
York nro engaged on a gorgeous screen!
for the Vanderbilt mansion. It ik be¬
ing made at Mr. John Li Fargo’s stu¬
dio, under the snpeivision of Mrs, Til-
linghurst. The gold thread alone
used in its embruidery cost $30,000.
A young gentleman writing from
Long Branch asks whether it is “goodf
form” to hold a bird with oue’s finger*
while eating it. There are dexterous
people who can easily dissect ft snipe
or a woodcock with the aid of only
their knife and folk. At the same
time thvre is an adage that a bird in’
the hand is worth two in the bush,’.
A Natural Mistake-
‘Squire McGill had occasion to gof
to Cortland, and while there he went
into a grocery and purchased a dozen
lemons, making the remark to the la¬
dy clerk that he guessed it <’d hairs'
some lemonade when ho got home.
“Don’t you want a squeeawr?" she
asked 1 .
“Marm?”
“Won’t you have a squeeze, stfW
“Well, marm, of I was m young
man I would. But I’ve been married
nigh onto thirty years, andf the’ oM la¬
dy is dreffle sut agin huggiu* out o' thr
family.’’
An explanation was made, and the
squire bought a squeezer to settle
it.—^Ex.
Mr. John Randolph once had occa¬
sion to stay a night at a country inn
The landlord tried several times to as¬
certain the destination cf^hfs guest hat
without success. Mr. Randolph
turned upon him, and in a very decid¬
ed tone said: “Landlord, do I owe
yon anything?” “Nothing, sir/*
was the reply. “Well, then I am
going where I please.” Tho road!
forked not far faom the taverd and it
so happened that Mr. Rmdolph was
at a loss which road to take, and sent a
servant back to inquire which of these
roads led to the village of . The
landlord, standing in front of the tav-
ern, cried at the top of his ^oice? “Mr
Randolph, yon don’t owe me anything!
Takfc just which road yon please.”
The new law in Arkansaw fixes 6401
rods as the legal distance .betwoeu a
church and a saloon. Some man
make this lap in marvelous quick
time .—Peoria 1’ranscript.
The poor man wishes to conceal his
poverty, and the rich man his wealth;
the former least he be dispised, the
latter least he be plundered.
A mine of gold discovered in Green¬
ville county, South Carolina, is yield¬
ing ore that is estimated to- bo worth
seventy dollars per ton.
‘*Go west, young man”—and take
enough with you to help yon back
agaiu.
--
He was brought up before the record¬
er on the charge of drunkenness.
“Do you plead guilty or not?”
“I don’t plead at all.”
‘You don’t deny havmgbeed drunk?’
“Yes I do—I deny everything.”
“You certaiuly don’t deny having
been here before?”
“I should smile? Why, Jndge, I
deny being here right now. I deny
everything. I’m on the deny, I am,”
“You are? Well, there is nothing
like self-denial, aud the best place to
practice it is in the county jail fdr,-
say, thirty days,”