Newspaper Page Text
T. J, LUMPKIN, Editor and Proprietor.
VOLUME 11.
Another way to settle the Indian prob
lem is so have all the white folks killed
•ff.
The winter garden which the King of
the Belgians has had constructed in the
park of Lacken is the largest structure
of the kind in Europe. The immense
cupola of iron and glass is 200 feet in di
ameter and 100 feet in height in the cen
ter. It is supported by 30 columns of
white stone, each over three feet in diam
eter.
It is said that an investigation of the
New York elevated railroads revealed
that the stock has been “watered” to the
extent of six or seven million dollars.
During the investigation some interesting
statistics were given. The fifteen miles
of track now in operation cost twelve
millions of dollars, and when the con
struction is thoroughly completed it is
thought that the expense will be fully a
million dollars to each mile of track. A
car costs $3,400 ; an engine over $5,000.
M. Blanqui asserts that Jerome
Napoleon is more to be feared as a pre
tender than his late cousin. “This,”
says London Truth, “tallies with the
language of one of the principal Bona
partist Generals to a friend of mine.
‘The Prince Imperial,’ lie said,’ was an
untried youth, and the supposed Ultra
montauism of his mother alienated the
masses from him. Jerome is a shrewd,
able man, whose ideas are more in unison
with those of the majority of French
men. He will play a Availing game, and
if the republic makes mistakes he will
know how to profit by them.”
Artesian wcllsare becoming numerous
throughout California, fresh ones being
dug daily, as well for irrigating purposes
in the farming lands, as for general water
purposes in San Francisco and other cities.
They cost $250 upward, and some furnish
250,000 gallons of the purest water daily.
In the San Joaquin valley they are very
numerous, eleven being in full flow within
a tract of three miles by a mile and a half
in extent, and yet their proximity to each
other and the digging of new wells does
not diminish their flow at all, a thing
that is not the case everywhere. The
novel experiment has been tried of form
ing an artificial lake with this water and
breeding fish in it, and it has been found
that the fish thrive as well in water drawn
from the subteranean sources as in any
other.
How a New Hampshire hoy became
Russian admiral makes an interesting ro
mance. The son of the Rev. Simon Fin
ley Williams, a celebrated Massachusetts
clergyman, called to Meredith in 1790-
ran away from a Laconia employer be
cause the latter whipped him for spend
ing his evenings with the girls. He took
also S3OO belonging to the chastiser, who
pursued him to Portland, reaching there
two days after the youngster had shipped
on a Russian bark. The vessel was at
attacked by pirates, but the boy of 17,
with the assistance of two sailors, mount
an old swivel, loaded it with old iron
scraps and sank two boat loads of the buc
caneers, thus saving his ship. For this
the Czar trained young Williams up in
the royal navy, of which he became, the
head, his title being Count Zincliorsckoff
He subsequently returned to this country (
and paid the Laconia man his S3OO and
interest, all in gold, saying he should re
turn to Russia an honest man.
There is a cotton mill at Westminster,
South Carolina, which takes the cotton
from the seed, on the plantation where
it is grown, and converts it by a simple
and inexpensive process, into yarn. Af
ter this transformation the cotton is in
creased in value from three cents a pound
to from sixteen to seventeen cents per
pound. But this is not the only advan
tage gained. The seed cotton, were it
not made into yarn, must pay a tax for
ginning, compreessing, bagging, tying,
weighing, storage, wharfage, etc., and
other preparations incident to shipping.
Accordingly it is thought.that just such
mills as this one, scattered through the
cotton plantations, will do a great deal
to advance the interest of the cotton
growers, increase the work and earnings
of laborers, and prepare the way for the
establishment of the larger manufacto
ries, which are now’ talked of as possible
competitors with those of the great cor
porations of New England.
Alaska explorers report one of the
largest rivers in the world, the Yukon,
as navigable for steamers, and at 500
miles from its mouth it receives a very
large navigable tributary. The basin
formed by the confluence is twenty-four
miles wide. The Yukon is nearly as large
as our Mississippi. Indians are every
where and War between tribes is a tixed
institution. 1 here is show for *i\ months.
RISING FAWN, DADE COUNTY, GEORGIA. THURSDAY. NOVEMBER 13, 1879.
and without roads dog sledges find good
traveling. Game abounds, and Indians
have an easy life. From seven to nine
dogs make a team, the odd one being the
leader. The driver has to watch thisdog.
If it gets on the scent of game it is off"
whole team is demoralized. Ofi
they scamper, through the woods and
thickets, upsetting the load, smashing the
sled, tearing the harness, and giving the
boss days of hunting to restore the status
quo. So vast a country, traversed by
navigable waters, will soon tempt restless
and speculative adventurers to explore it.
MKTUERA MJVS HEWS.
McComb City, Miss., is to have a cot
ton factory.
Drummers are relieved of taxation in
Montgomery, Ala.
Last week the tobacco manufacturers
of Durham, N. bought internal revenue
stamps to the amount of .117,410 (jo,
One hundred and fifty tons of railroad
iron for the Florida Central railroad arrived
in Jacksonville Saturday, on the schooner
Andrew Newbinger, from Philadelphia.
The net earnings of the Houston and
Texas Central Railroad Company for Sep
tember *212,878 78, an increase of about
eight per’ cent, over the same month last
year.
The bale of cotton donated for lie
benefit of the orphans of General Hoo as
sold and resold seven times at Houston,
realizing SI,OOO. Then it was shipped to
Waco.
Memphis Ledger: The Legislature of
Mississippi, Arkansas and Kentucky should
at once be called to meet in special season to
enact laws whereby Holly Springs, Forrest
City, Hopefield and Hickman maybe sewered
before next Summer.
Augusta Chronicle: We are pleased
to know that our ho.norcd and distinguished
Representative, Hon. Alex. H. Stephens, is
in fair health, He is now enjoying the quiet
and rest of Liberty Hall. He has travelved
extensively North and AVest since the ad
journment of congress.
Hickory (N. C.) Press: The Catawba
Manufacturing Company, near Catawba Sta
tion, is now putting up fifty-eight new looms
in the factory. These, in addition to the
other machinery, will make a fine display.
This company is now making some very fine
plaid goods.
Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser: The
planters of our state are pursuing a very wise
course since the dark days which followed
the close <>f the war. A large number of
them are buying good blooded cattle, uJ
will he present on the 10th of next mouth at
the State fair with the money in hand ready
to make further purchases of this kind.
Little Rock Gazette : Day before yes
terday, a mad dog bit seven persons on the
Perkins place, about fifteen miles from this
city. The following named persons were
bitten, and came into town yesterday and
applied to Dr. AY’iggs’ drug store for treat
ment: Mr. Reynolds, trading-boat merchant,
a little girl, Sandy AVallers, Sim Serdis and
his wife and a colored man and woman,
names unknown.
Jackson (Tenn.) Tribune-Sun: Mr.
Robert Reaves shot and killed on yesterday,
near McClanahan’s levee, a veri .‘able “stormy
patrel,” that had evidently been wafted on
the wings of some storm current from the
ocean to these inhospitable shores. It meas
ured four feet from tip to tip, its wings being
exceedingly long and beautiful. Its color
was bright gray, and the down on its neck
and breast as soft as a swan’s.
Monroe (Tenn.) Democrat: Large
quantities of soap-stone, brought here by
wagon from Murphy, N. C., is being shipped
to Cincinnati. Two car-loads have been
shipped in the last two weeks. This stone is
found in great abundance in the mountains,
six miles above Murphy. It is worth about
S4O a ton, delivered on the car at this place,
and it costs about S3O to put it in the car.
The stone is said to be of extra quality.
Chattanooga (Tenn.) Times: The pop
ulation of Chattanooga has increased in two
years from 11, 88 to 12,879, a gain of 1,391.
Considering all the drawbacks, th s is doing
well. It would double us in ten years. The
increase of whites has been 319, of blacks
1;073. The preponderance of increase of the
latter is of itself an industrial straw of value.
For, while we have added ail these strong
hands to the workers, we have less idlers
than ever before.
Columbia (S. C.) Register: A practi
cal test was made yesterday of the utility of
the Georgia brown coal by Dr. Jackson. He
took three or four of the lumps which Prof.
Bibikov had sent him, broke them up and
made a fire out of them in his stove. They
were easily kindled with a little wood, when
first ignited burned with a flame, but after
ward settled down to a nice bed of coals.
The ashes produced was white. The stove
was one made for the purpose of burning
anthracite coal. The burning produced
something of a smell, but this could no doubt
be remedied by iiaving stoves properly con
structed, with view to prevent the gas
coining into the room. The quantity of
brown coal used was just enough to fill the
fire basket of the stove, and this quantity
continued to burn from 8 o’clock a. m. till
after 12 m.
New Orleans Democrat: Some years
ago the expert of cedar from Louisiana was a
large and popular trade. The war and its
consequences diverted the attention of the
people from that branch of industry, and our
cedar trees were left to grow in all their
natural luxuriance. AYe arc glad to note
that the old trade in that article is about to
be reopened. The United States Consul at
Hamburg, in his dispatch to the Department
of Stale, dated September 24, 1879, reports
the arrival of a vessel laden with cedar wood,
shipped from New Orleans, and out on the
banks of the Mississippi. This is believed lo
be the first venture of the kind. The Consul
sees no reason why the cedar of America
may not be in great demand in Europe, like
the mahogany of Brazil. ,
Louisville Medical News: There is
only one place where the colored man and
the brother has his particular medical school,
and that happens where of all places it was
most likely to happen, at Nashville, home of
the Meuical University, birthplace of journals
thereto. The school is intended for the
education of colored physicians; and if there
is any faith to be put in circulars, it is in
tended for their very good education. The
standard named is quite up to that of most of
the colleges iti [the country. Three years’
study is required, and the course is graded.
Recitations and monthly written examina
tions form prominent features. Examination
for the degree i id o in writing.
“ Faithful to the Right, Fearless Against the Wrong.”
Columbus (Ala.) Times: California
and other Pacific States have so long kept
the eyes of the gold-hunting world in that
direction, that the rich veins of the precious
metal, which run in broad and inexhaustible
lines through Alabama, have almost been lost
sight of. We have often been told by old
Californians that, with the same machinery
and effort, more gold could he taken from
some of the Tallapoosa mines than taken
from many of the most popular on the Pacific
coast. Informer years we knew something
of the gold veins of old Tallapoosa, especially
of those about the once famous Log Pit
mine, and can say that they, unskillfully
worked, yielded many thousand dollars’ worth
of gold.
Helena (Ark.) World: Trains are
running now upon three railroads out of
Helena, the Arkansas Midland, Mobile
and Northwestern, and the Iron Moun
tain and Helena, which place us, in
point of railroad enterprise, in advance
of every place in the State but Little
Rock, and we should be on a par with
the State capital if these roads had out
side connection* which we trust is not in
the distant future.
A Baltimore company lias found a
copper bonanza in the mines at Ore
Knob, Aslie county, North Carolina,
where 700 men are employed, and about
$300,000 are annually disbursed to the
inhabitants for fuel, etc. A correspon
dent of the Baltimore American says
six additional furnaces are to be erected,
and a railroad lieing built to connect
the mines with Greensboro. The month
ly product of pure copper is 150,000
pounds.
Helena (Ark.) World: As the chan
nel of the Mississippi runs very near the
sand-bar immediately in front of the
city, and as it is becoming more ap
parent daily that our cotton shipping
facilities from below are getting worse
and worse on account of the rapid
change in the river there, it is proposed
by those of our shipping people who have
a great amount of cotton to haul to build
a tramway across the bar to the water’s
edge, and have the steamers receive from
there.
Charlotte (N. C.) Observer: The cot
ton compress has done a big business since
the opening of the cotton season. Up to
date it has compressed 10,000 bales, which
is more than it did throughout the whole
of last season. It is still running con
stantly, and is paying the owners hand
somely. When the cotton is compressed
fifty-five bales can be put into a car,
against twenty-five, the limit when the
bales have not been compressed.
Richmond _ (Va.) Dispatch Man
chester news:" Saturday morning a party
of fox-hunters from Richmond, includ
ing several young ladies, passed through
this city to Chesterfield, where they
intend to have a grand fox hunt. They
attracted much attention, and were
elegantly attired for the sport which
they had in view. It is a novel thing
to see ladies indulging in this sport in
Chesterfield, but in the upper counties
it is a frequent occurrence.
Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle : The numer
ous friends and admirers of Dr, Deems
will bo glad to learn that lie is soon to
enjoy the pleasure of an extensive tour
in Europe and the east. After his long
and arduous labors, both as minister and
editor, this mental rest and refreshment
will no doubt he peculiarly grateful to
him. He is at present in this city on a
visit to his daughter, Mrs. Verdery,
where lie will remain for a few days be
fore returning to New York to prepare
for his journey.
San Antonio Herald: A farmer named
Thomas, who came into Terrel yesterday
to see the Great London show paid rather
dear for his sight-seeing. He brought in
two bales of cotton, and hitching his
team, started for the show, perfectly
carried away with the appearance of
things and in he went. While he was
enjoying the sights a reckless sort of an
individual took charge of his cotton,
drove down on the square and sold it for
sls, which he pocketed and skipped out
with it.
Memphis Avalanche: Gov. Marks
will probably call an extra session of the
Legislature when the citizens of Memphis
decide precisely the legislation thafis re
quired. If it is a one per. cent, or a
four cent, tax, let that be settled. Or, if
the Legislature is to bo asked to donate
the state taxes levied in Memphis for the
next five years for the sanitary improve
ment of the city, the citizens can so say.
The plan once agreed upon, the Gover
nor can not refuse so reasonable a request
as to assemble the Legislature for the
salvation of the chief city of the state.
Macon (Ga.) Telegraph: During last
week, at the First Baptist colored church,
an institute was held for the training of
colored misisters. They were lieing in
structed by Rev. Dr. S. W. Marston, the
agent of the American Baptist Home
Mission Society (North), and by Rev.
Dr. W. H. Robert, formerly a resident
of this city, now under commisioit of the
Southern Baptists to aid Dr. Marston in
this work of holding intitutes. It is an
auspicious omen to see these two minis
ters working harmoniously together,
from different sections of the land.
The Elbcrton (Ga.) Gazette tells “how
to double the price of our cotton crops”
pis follows: Supposing our crops to reach
8,000 bales, at ten cents, it would bring
toour county $320,000. If this crop was
used up by factories in the county it would
bring,instead of $320,000,a return of near
lys7oo,ooo.This being the case it behooves
every fanner in the county to use his
exertions for the establishment of cotton
factories right here at home. AYith their
crops yielding such handsome amounts,
those who are behind-hand—slaves to
their factors—would soon he able to throw
off the sbaeklies of debt and serfdom.
New Orleans Democrat : The owners
of real estate in New Orleans, who have
for many years been eonijMrtled to (tear
a heavy burden of taxation on assess
ments based on ideas of valuation
which obtained during prosperous years,
will no doubt be pleased to observe that
the present Board of Assessors have re
duced the city valuation on property to
$01,000,000. or alxiut $20,000,000, below
the previous assessment. This, it will
be generally conceded, is a very fair val
uation when the extremely depressed
condition of all kinds of business for the
past ten years is takenjnto consideration.
Columbia IS. C.) Register: The bus
iness of making baskets from osier wil
low twigs is one which seems to be spec
ially adapted to the south, and we under
stand that it is now lieing carried on in
this state on a small scale. We have al
so heard of a movement looking to the
extension of this industry. At present
the twigs or rods used for basket making
here are brought from abroad, some of
them from Europe, but the willow tree
grows ; here very readily, some varieties
growing wild without any cultivation.
If the matter were properly taken hold
of a large and paying industry might he
built up in*|basket making from native
twigs.
Galveston News: The increase in
custom receipts at the port of Galveston,
from July 1 to October 1, 1879, com
pared with the same period of time in
*B7B, is something remarkable. For the
fiscal quarter ending September 30, 1878,
the duties on imported merthandice col
lected at this port were only $5,078,97.
J’or the quarter commencing July l
nd ending September 30, 1879, the du
ties collected on imports at Galveston
amount to $42,228 —an increase of $37,-
800 or 1879. It is pleasant to learn, also,
that costly and varied cargoes are nowin
transit to Galveston from foreign lands,
on which duties amounting to $70,000
will be collectable.
Mr. Fendel Horn writes to Dr. Mer
cior, of New Orleans, who introduced
the seed of Egytian cotton: “I have
been handed a sample of the Egyptian
cotton raised on the plantation of Col.
Claiborne—Dunbarton plantation—near
Natchez, Miss. He and Gen. Stephen
D. Lee, another experienced planter
living near Columbus, Miss., planted the
original seed last year, and both report
the plant grew very tall, rank and with
but few bolls. This year they have
planted about one acre each with seed
taken from the last year’s plant and both
report that it lias improved very much.
Th’ plant is not so large, fruits well,
i mAi they nay from the one acre one-half
■m cotton and a much better quality is
obtained.” _
Sherman ( Texas ) Coxier verita
ble cloud of negroes, aiylKes, shapes and
shades of color, passerffh rough Denison
Friday, enronte for Kansas, where the
people live in mud houses and live on
grasshopper soup. They came from
Grimes eiwuty, in this state, and were
filled with exultation over the glittering
future spread out before them. They
got as far as tAe Nation, but the weather
wasn’t “ enough. There was
too much frost ml the air. Visions of
icebergs, snow three feet deep and no
wood in began to loom up be
fore them, Ad they switched off, turned
around hack. They went
through on their homeward journey yes
terday morning, and propose to stay in
the sunny south as long as they have a
grip on life.
Charlotte (N.C. ) Observer: Capt.
Jas. O. Moore, chief engineer of the Win
ston and Salem and Mooresville railroad,
went up the Richmond and Danville
railroad yesterday morning to meet Mr.
Garrett of the Baltimore and Ohio rail
road company, and receiver Barbour, of
the Virginia Midland, for the purpose of
conferring with them with a view to in
ducing them to utilize the road lied of
his road, as much thereof as is completed,
in their proposed extension of the Vir
ginia Midland from Danville through
parts of this state. About twenty-two
miles of the Winston and Salem and
Mooresville railroad are already graded,
and Capt. Moore reports having on hand
and attainable a sufficient amount to
grade the road to a point between Moores
ville and Winston—fifty-five miles in all.
MISCELLINEOUS
Ashland farm, Henry Clay’s old hum •>,
is to rent.
A\ T e shall soon begin sending wine to
Fiance. The wine product of California
alone this season is estimated at 10,000,000
gallons. France should put that fact in her
glass and drink it.J
In the two years preceding the panic
of 1873 the price of middling upland cotton
in Liverpool ranged between 9d and lid,
with a million bales more cotton in sight than
there are at present.
The entrails of sheep' are now used in
California for machine belting, in jdace of
hemp, whicli is said to be much less durable.
A three-fourth-inch rope made from it will
bear a strain of seven tons.
Goldsmith Maid was on the go, in the
cars, for thirteen years, from one end of the
country to the other, traveling over one hun
dred thousand miles,always taking her regular
rest on the ears as if in her box stall. She
netted to her owner over $75,000, after paying
all her expenses and giving Budd Dobfe one
half.
Of the total of 8,431 sets of woolen
machinery in the United States, 1,418 are in
Massachusetts; 331 in Maine, 505 in New
Hampshire, 175 in Vermont, 469 in Rhode
Island, and 669 in Connecticut—a total for
the New England states of more than 43 per
cent of the woolen machinery in the entire
country.
One gas company supplies all Paris at
a rate of about $1.62 per 1,000 feet. The
lastyearlv dividend was equal to 31J per
centum on the original price of the
shares.
Dr. R. V. Pierce went to Buffalo in
1866 penniless. In 1872 he spent $150,-
000 in advertising, and now he is worth
a million and i- ,i member of < ’outness
Moral.
A little girl who was sent out to look
for eggs came hack unsuccessful, and
complained that “there were lots of hens
standing around doing nothing.
Daily bulletins of current events, with
lists of books pertinent to the subjects,
arc hung up in the Hartford public li
brary. Tliis is done to encourage the
reading of instructive matter.
Mr. D. P. Morgan, the banker, has
sold to Mr. D. O. Mills, the California
millionaire, his mansion on Fifth avenue,
opposite the cathedral, New York, fully
furnished, for $375,000.
Last* year there were 17,000 cases of
yellow fever and 5,106 deaths in Mem
phis. This year the number of cases was
1,603 and there were 498 deaths. The
official notice of the eud of the yellow
fever epidemic in Memphis comes four
days earlier than the similar one of Oc
tober 29, 1878.
Locomotives arc used on canal tow
paths of France. They are of light
build, not weighingover four or five tons,
and are easily managed by one man.
Barges are thus drawn at a speed of two
miles an hour, about twice the mean rate
of a horse on the tow-path. Any empty
vessel is drawn six miles an hour, but a
greater speed would damage the banks
of the canal.
A father never thinks his ten-year-old
son is stronger than a horse until lie em
ploys him to turn the grindstone to
sharpen an old axe that is about as sharp
at one end as the other. The old man
bears on until the lad’s eyes hang out and
his trowsers’ buckle flies off, and just be
fore he bursts a blood vessel his father
encourages him with the remark, “Does
—it—turn—hard?” Thousands of boys
have run away from home and become
pirates and greenbackers in order to es
cape a second siege at the grindstone.—
[Norristown Herald. .
The Pronunciation of “U.”
[Washington Star.]
As the schools have just opened and as
everybody reads your paper, if you will
allow me the space, I wish to call the at
tention of the teachers and pupils to a
fault in English pronunciation exceeding
common in the Norm, r.axply heard in
the South or in England) but which
seems to be spreading here. (We have
faults enough in the South without
Drafting some Northern ones upon them.)
refer to the vulgarism—if I may so
term it—of giving the long “u,” which
is in so many of our common words, the
sound of “ oo.”
For instance, ninty-five out of every
hundred Northerners will say instih ot,
instead of institute, dooty instead of
duty—a perfect rhyme to the word
beauty. They will call new and news
noo and noos—a perfect rhyme to pew
and pews—and so on through the dozens
and hundreds of the similar words. Not
a dictionary in the English language
authorizes this. In student and stupid
the “u” has the same sound as in cupid,
and they should not be pronounced
stoodent and stoopid, as so many teachers
are in the habit of sounding them.
If it is a vulgarism to call a door a
doah—as we all admit—isn’t it as much
ol a vulgarism to call a newspaper a
noospaper? One is Northern ana the
other Southern—that’s the only differ
ence. When the Ixmdon Punch wishes
to burlesque the pronunciation of ser
vants it makes them call the duke the
dook, the tutor the tooter and a tube a
toob. You never find the best Northern
speakers, such as Wendell Phillips,
Charles Sumner, George William Curtis,
Emerson, Holmes and men of that class
saying noo for new or Toosday for Tues
day, avenoo for avenue or calling a dupe
a doop. It is a fault that a Southerner
also never falls into. He has slips enough
of another kind, but he doesn’t slip on
the long “u.” As many of our teachers
have never had their attention called to
this, I hope they will excuse this notice.
A Chance for Work.
Burdette, writing from Cmiada to the
Burlington Hawkeye, morn
ing I walked out by myselu All along
the marsh road the farmers were busy
in the meadows moving and turning
their hay. A couple of regularly
ordained tramps, idle and aimless as
myself, and much better acquainted
with the read, passed me, and 1 tagged
along in their lounging wake. Presently
the voice of a farmer came over the
sweet-scented meadow:
“ Hallo>”
The tramps halted. “ Hallo yourself!”
shouted one of them.
“ Do you want to hire?” yelled the
farmer.
Judge of my astonishment when both
tramps chorused back:
“Yes!”
Well, I thought, they aren’t American
tramps, any how, or they wouldn’t dis
grace the profession in this way. But I
stood still to listen and watch, for it was
an unusual sight—two tramps going to
work.
“Then come over here!” yelled tho
farmer; and the two fellows sprang over
the fence and trudged across the meadow
with the brisk air of men who really
wanted work and meant business. The
farmer stood still, leaning on his pitch
fork, gazing intently at my motionless
figure. Presently his voice broke the
once more:
“ Don’t that other fellow want to hire,
ft?” he yelled.
The two tramps turned and glanced at
at me for my reply. I shook my head
sadly hut firrnfr, and moved on, without
waiting to hWr the farmer’s muttered
comments on my laziness. An American
may die, but he never works.
“ Will you ever be mine?” he asked
her rapturously; and when she answered,
“ There is one above knows all,” he
thought camp-meeting had struck in and
clinched; but she only referred to the
old man, who was slumbering in the
“ front room second.”
TERMS si,oo pur Annum, in Advnc.
NUMBER 2.
BETTER OR WORSE.
It a man a bit the better
For hit board of golden galnt,
For his -cres and his palace,
U bis heart be cold and callout—
Is a man a bit the better?
Is a man a bit the worse
For a brow with marks of care,
Though he claims no lordly rental,
11 his heart be kind and gentle—
Is a man a bit the worse?
WAIFS AND WHIMS.
Eggs come in layers.
A pair off— an eloping couple.
It is spring that brings re-leaf to th
tree.
Which is the most ancient of trees?
The elder.
The Board of Education—a school
master’s shingle.
The flower of the family is generally
found in a sacque.
The man with no teeth is always
looking for a soft thing.
Thk new broom sweeps clean when it
is properly handled.
The trapeze performer is sometimes
heels over head in business.
A Columbus (Ohio) young lady wants
to kiss Joe Jefferson. Let her, Rip.
An undertaker at a wedding is the
rite man in the wrong place.
Why is a ship the politest thing in
the world? Because she always advances
with a bow.
The time is coming when a buffalo
robe will cover two hearts that beat as
one.
Nero, Pompey and Caesar are common
names for dogs, but wouldn’t Agrippa
be more appropriate.
There are a great many people who
will never go to heaven unless tney can
go at excursion rates.
A man’s faith is often shown by tho
length of time for which he subscribes
for his paper and pays for it in advance.
Falling down stairs gives a fellow a
wonderful insight into the starry king
dom.
A wicked Philadelphian wants to
know if there are any fire-escapes in tho
next world.
“You don’t seem to like me when I
mould,” the ink replied t<> the angry
scribe.
Love may be blind before marriage,
but—ah, yes, we forgot—there is no love
after marriage.
“A fraud in silks,” is the startling
headline in an exchange. Ah I Went
back on you, did she ?
A young man is apt to think the
times are hard when he cannot get a soft
place.
iSince the decline in cotton one meets
a great many well-developed girls on the
street.
“What’s more sacred than .matri
mony?” asks an exchange. Divorces.
Ask us one with a Gordian knot.
The Whitehall Times has learned why
Samson was so strong. He never took
the trouble to bathe in the Jordan.
A Bridgeport grave-yard is used for
the pasturing of goats. Goats are very
partial to man’s resting place.— Danbury
News.
General Schenck can brag of his
skill at poker, but we know a man who
has never been beaten a game. He never
played.
A book entitled “Letters from a Cat”
is announced. It will probably give us
the other side of the boot-jack and back
yard question.
It is stated that Robert Bonner is the
happy possessor of over eighty horses, all
of which have records. Who can boast
of as many fast friends?
The Hackensack Republican speaks of
“a smile as long as a summer day.”
That’s a very delicate way to refer to a
cask of Jersey lightning.
Man wants but little here below.
True, and saleratus in the breakfast
biscuit is no exception to the general
rule.
A wag who had lent a minister a
horse that had run away and thrown the
clergyman, claimed credit for spreading
the gospel.
The supreme moment of a loafer’s
life is when a candidate asks for the use
of his influence with the workingmen of
his ward.
A Wisconsin city, in order to avoid
scandals in the girls’ schools has decided
that the leading teachers shall be
women. They want principals, not men.
“ Can there be happiness where there
is no love?” solemnly queries an author
in a book on marriage. Not much hap
piness, perhaps, but if the girl is awfully
rich, there nan be lots of fun.
The Buffalo Express is doing its best
to organize an expedition to go in search
of Mr. Dana. The editor of the Express
appears to be a man who doesn’t know a
good thing when he sees it. Why can’t
he let well enough alone.— Atlanta Con
stitution.
Nowadays a man strolls down to the
corner grocery in the evening, gets
trusted for an yeast cake and samples
every basket of peaches or pears in the
store. Value of the yeast cake, two
cents; samples, fifteen cents. And yet
apocers accumulate fortunes
It Is etiquette that makes a woman
say, when at an evening review her pet
corn is crushed by a young Lothario, and
deadly pangs gallop all through her,
“Oh, there’s no harm done I assure you;
I shouldn’t have noticed it but for your
apology.” But frankness generally gets
the better of etiquette when she reaches
the sacred precincts of home and her
husband joggles the same foot and she
exclaims, “ Ouch I you horrid brute!
you’ll be the death of me yet; why
don’t you look where you are going ”