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LUMPKIN &. JORDAN, Editors and Proprietors VOLUME 11. The melancholy story brought back from Liberia by the negroes who are making tracks from that alleged African paradise should be a warning to all col ored Americans not to be beguiled by the rose-colored tales of Liberian agents. The American negro who goes there has to contend with climate, poverty, cheap labor, color line and deadly disease. The Bank of England was incorpora ted in 1649. It covers five acres of ground and employs 900 clerks. There are no windows on the street; light is admitted through open courts. No mob could take the bank, therefore, without cannon to batter the immense walls. The clock in the center of the bank has 50 dials at tached to it. Large'cisterns are sunk in the courts, and engines in jicrfect order are always in readiness in case of fire. Witch burning is not recognized as a crime in Russia, although this is the nineteenth century, and the age of holy missions. Seventeen peasants of Nijni- Novgorod met the other day and sol emnly cremated an elderly female resi dent in their neighborhood, who was sus pected of black cat and broomstick ten dencies. The court acquitted them all, but directed three of them to. make their peace with the church. 1 The discovery by explorers in Alaska, that the Yukon river Is navigable for steamers 2,500 miles, is important, and places that stream among the largest riv ers in the world. About 500 miles from its mouth it receives a very Large naviga ble tributary. The basin formed by the confluence is 24 miles wide. The Yukon is nearly as large as our Mississippi. There is snow for six months, and with out roads dog-sledges find good traveling. Game abounds, and Indians have an easy life. Anew invention lias been tried with success in London in the utilization of the power generated in stopping street cars for the purpose of re-starting them, and thus saving the extra exertion of the . OI I 10' rbbiri vaiK'e Ga coiiO* spi mg,' which is wound up by the stopping of the car, and, which, when released, acts on the wheels so as to impart motion. It acts, too, as an assistance to horses up a steep grade, the power having been ac quired in a preceding down grade and kept stored in the spring until the energy is required. The strangestnews coming to us from t Germany is that a learned doctor has discovered a means of dyeing human eyes any color he likes, not only without injury to the delicate orbs, but, as he asserts, with positive advantage to the powers of sight. He can not only give fair ladies eyes black as night, or blue as orient skies by day, but he can turn them out in hue of silver or of gold. He says golden eyes are exceedingly becom ing. Nothing goes down without a name; therefore the German doctor calls his discovery “Ocular Transmutation.” He declareshimself quite ready to guarantee s uccess and harmlessness in the opera tion. , The commissioner of internal revenue has handed in his annual report to the secretary of the treasury for the past year. The tables embodied therein show ' that during the past three years and four months 3,117 illicit distilleries have been seized, 6,363 persons arrested for illicit distilling, and 27 officers and em ployes killed and 18 wounded while en gaged in enforcing the internal revenue law. The commissioner says that the State courts have taken cognizance of these murders and assaults only in a few cases, and they cannot be relied upon to punish such offences. He therefore recommends the enactment by congress of a law authorizing the United States courts to try and punish persons charged with assaults upon United States officers while the latter are engaged in the per formance of their official duties. The report shows that 5,448 distilleries were registered during the past fiscal year, and 5,347 operated. During the special tax year, ending April 30th, there were 49,- 000,000 .gallons of spirits rectified, and during the fiscal year the taxes paid on spirits withdrawn from the warehouse aggregated $46,778,000. In discussing the reduction of the tax on tobacco, the commissioner says that during four uonths of the present fiscal year the de crease in receipts from tobacco and snuff, as compared with the corresponding pe riod last year, was $2,336,000. These figures indicate a decrease for the whole year of $7,000,000. The total produc tion of tobacco and snuff in the United States during the year was 131,000,000 pounds, of 12,000,000 over the previous year The total amount of collections from tobacco in all frms was $40,00M,000. pndc (Couutii (Cunettc. RISING FAWN, DADE COUNTY. GEORGIA. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 11, J 879. SOUTHERN NEWS ITEMS. The Arkansas penitentiary contains 607 convicts. One hundred telephones are in use in Savannah, Ga. The police of Charlotte, N. C., have been uniformed. The Jewish tair at Atlanta, Ga., c eared $6,000. Augusta, Ga., ’’.as five railroad trains each way daily. , Charlotte, N. C;, is about to start a bellows factory. Augusta, Ga., five railroad trains each way daily. The Mississipp Senate has only two Republican mem "is. The Mississippi senate has only two republican members. The cotton Cob of North Carolina is nearly all picked out. A Clement attachment is to be put in operation at Madison, Ga. Thirty counties in Virginia contain more colored than white voters. Greensboro, Ala., has doubled her shipments of cotton since last year. An immense eml mine was recently discovered in Bienville Parish, La. Twenty-six gin-liouses have been burned to date in Georgia. There are twenty-six white Baptist As sociations in South Carolina. The cotton factory at Tallahassee, Fla., uses 400 bales of cotton annually, i The State of Texas boasts that she owes leas than the city of Memphis. An immense ’coal ’mine was recently discovered in Bienville parish, La. A grape-vine in Chester county, S. C., Imre a second crop of grapes this fall. Hon. Alexander H. Stephens will lie sixty-eight years old next February. Aiken county, S. C., has more northern visitors this seasor than ever before. Buzzards are said to walk on the streets of Leesburg, Ga., as tamely as chickens. There were fourteen deaths last week in Savannah, Ga., in a total population of 32,656. A policeman at Savannah, Ga., was fined $3 the other day for smoking while on iduty. There were, fourteen deaths last week in Savannah, Ga., in a total population of 32,656. Over $200,000' ■ hof cotton is locked up at Griffin, < . .... r want of shipping .**— v, Turner E. Carter killed a wild cat in Thomas county, Ga., which weighed fif ty pounds. Mississippi's next Legislature will have a Democratic majority of 103 on joint ballot. Mai. J. P. H. Russ, ex-Secretary of State of North Crrolina, died at Raleigh on the 19th inst. Oliver Causey, of High Point, N. C., has sold a gold mine to a Northern com pany for $35,000. A farmer in Talbot county, Ga., made fifteen bales of cotton this year with the aid of only one mule. The muncipal authorities of Jackson ville, Florida, are trying do get rid of keno and faro-dealers. A French capitalist has purchased 60- 000 aeres of land in Parker and Palo Pinto counties, Texas. The Chronicle says that Augusta, Ga., spinners do not thiuk very highly of the Clement attachment, A large black eagle, measuring seven feet, one inch “wide,” was killed near Durham, N. C., last week. The banks at Charleston, S. C., are paying gold over their counters, owing to a scarcity of bank bills. In Chatham county, Ga., outside of Savannah, there are 11,450 colored peo ple, and only 1,594 whites. The public library at Americus, Ga., contains 1,000 volumes, and has a beau tiful young lady for a librarian. The special railroad tax of Tennessee is only one mill, while the tax in Geor gia is three and one-half mills. The Chronicle thinks that the proposed water-works at Knoxville, Tenn., will be open next spring without a doubt, A quantity of yoitng carp is being dis tributed in the streams of Texas by the Fish Commissioner - of that State. Richard Wilson, of Catawha, N. C., manufactured this year 2,500 gallons ot molasses from his own crop of cane. The Galveston News boasts of a sweet potato weighing sixteen pounds, grown by W. A. Haynes, Chambers county, Texas. By the will of the late Jacob Pensul ger, of Roanoke county, Va., Roanoke College, at Salem, receives about $lO,- 000. The Chronicle thinks that the pro prosed water-works at Knoxville, Ten nessee, will be open next spring without a doubt. Atlanta has issued six per cent, bonds to meet a pressing floating debt of SBBS -and the bonds are being sold very rapidly. At the first of the week there were at onetime thirty-eight vessels at Galves ton, Texas, loading with cotton for for eign ports. Arrangements are being made already to celebrate the centennial of the battle of King’s mountain, N. C., which will occur in 1880. Hollis Beck, of Marion county, Ga., has a Vineyard which produced this year thirty-nine barrels of wine worth two dollars per gallon. Pine Bluff, Ark., has a public school building worth $20,000. Helena is talk ing about putting up anew building of the same kind. “ Faithful to the Bight, Ffttrlegs Against the Wrong.” IDLEXCSS. BY HATTIE TYNG GRISWOLD. Sorrento sleeping in the sun! The dry cicala sings at noon, A murmurous sound, as if it wer The last sound, a-lute as soon. All languid lies ’he lata lime tree, l’he idling wind.li/U drowsy leaves, And high above I list the hum 31 swallows building in the eaves. The world has swept away from me. My labor iu her marts seems done. And naught is left me but a dream Of fair Sorrento nod its sun. A bus . idlei: s* of thought Wide!’, dallies with *■• com, sand goes, And hnnas upon my ,jt of life, Its crowning gower—repose. Too hard we strive, too much we seek, Too tightly strain the chords of life, And what is left us at the end Of all our selfish care and strife? A mind that’s burdened over much, A heart worn out with serving long, And having ir, it no response Uuto life's music as Us song. O lag a little, hurrying feet! Lag Dy your work ere work be done; Seek ve some where, where seek ye may, Like me, Sorrento and its sun. Fold hands, close eyes, aud waking dream, A dream that idly comes or goes, And feel that upon every height Of life—as nature—lies repose. THE EMERALD RING. BY HKLEX LUQUKER. Mrs. Ladis turned from her glass, radi ant and beautiful, and said to her hus band: “ I hope, dear, you are satisfied with me, you are so critical about my dress.” Her lord condescended to sniilc upon the pretty, pouting woman as he replied: “ You are just splendid, Eugenia, and born for rich robes, lace and jewel*. But speaking of them, where is youi emerald lung?” “ In nay jewel box, of course, * “ No it is B®t” “How do you know, Edward?” asked •lie, elevating her eyebrows in surprise. “Because I looked for it, and you know it is not there, but on the finger of that insufferable coxcomb, Ellery!” “ Edward, what do you mean?” “Just this; if his attentions and admiration of you are not less pro nounced and your pleasure thereat less apparent I will thrash the puppy, that is Mr. Ladis had worked himself into a Sassion of jealousy, and his line eyes ashed with anger as he stood confront ing his now indignant wife, who, word less, turned to her dressing bureau and began a hasty search lor the iia&. ing to flash back a denial to the unjust suspicions of her husband. But the valuable jewel was gone! For a moment the lady stood with one pink finger pressed upon her rosy lip in a vain men tal cogitation* as to where she had last worn it. Together with a large party of city friends they were sojourning at ono of the fashionable summer mount ain resorts, and the days were spent in picnics and rambles, and the nights upon the balconies or in moon light promenades. She recollected that only the previous evening she had walked with young Ellery; perhaps he had been a trifle too attentive, and as the ring was large for her slender finger he had, as a bit badinage and to tease her, slipped it from off her hand and was openly wearing it, and her husband was eo suspicious and jealous that should he see it upon the gentleman’s finger there would be an unpleasant encounter. These reflections caused her to turn upon her husband a rather flushed face, and with downcast eyes, she said: “ I am ready to go down to dinner, Edward.” “ Come, then,” he returned in his most rigid manner, “ and remember I forbid you to receive eveu the most trivial attention from Ellery.” “ You are unjust, and your suspicions cruel.” “ And your pretended search for the ring is entirely too elaborate and over acted; and 3 r ou may as well be informed that not two hours ago I saw the emerald upon the hand of that idiot.” “And I protest,” she answered, draw ing herself up to the most queenly height, “ that if Mr. Ellery has possession of the ring, I do not know how he ob tained it. But I shall ask him for it at once, and return it to you;” and hastily stripping oft - all the costly gems from her slender white hands and placing them in her jewel-case, she continued: “ and I make a solemn vow never to wear one of these baubles, these gifts of yours, until you have taken back your cruel words and relieved me from your unjust and jealous suspicions.” “ And I forbid you speaking to Ellery upon any conditions, unless you would have me kick the scoundrel out of decent society,” replied her angry husband, as the regal woman coldly took his k>roffered arm and was led to the table d'hote. How splendidly and coyly did the young wife demean herself that evenL' g. Bhe had not the ghost of a smile for a single one of her many admirers, though she discussed eloquently of art, science and music, and succeeded in keeping Ellery at more than arm’s length, and with a haughty bow refused his hand for t#danee. And afterwards, as he and a friend were smoking their latest cigar for the night, he said: “ I’ll bet the champaigne that Madame Ladis has had a conjugal tiff with her savagely jealous husband.” !! Such is married life," was the laugh ing reply. “ Give me freedom and bachelordom before such flashings of cold scorn as that lady showered upon her husband from those wickedly beautiful eyes, at some remark he made upon social pro prieties.” “Oh, he is a jealous dog, and his wife will not lead a happy life with him, I fear. But as Tupper has it: “ See then that ye loye in faith, acorning petty jeal ousies. For Satan spoileth too much by souring it with doubt,” or keep to your resolution, old fellow, and cling to a bachelor life,” advised Ellery, ,ts he said good-night. The next day, according to anange ment, there was to be an excursion to a famous glen, and Mr. and Mrs. Ladis came down arrayed in picnic costume, and th. excessive politeness of the hus band and the proud disdain of the wife convirw >d the observant Ellery that the qua/re .had not ended. All i, tea ns of conveyance had boon press/-'q, into service to transport the hotci to their destination, and Mrs. J assisted into an ample “ Dem '/rat” wagon just as a telegram was ha tied to her husband, who, after readinj it, approached his wife and said ■ ** 1 sh ill not be aide to go with you to day, E genia; I shall have to go to the station and reply promptly, and may be compelled to run down 'to* the city upon important business.” The uce of the lady paled a little at the coK announcement of a separation which, (hough brief, would be the first since ( jeir marriage: and as that flashed upon bfr the fine eyes grew misty and her lov ng woman’s heart forgiving, and bondir,’; down to him as he stood by the wagon, she whispered: “1 a. iso sorry. It will spoil the day for me. Cannot I go with you.” “No I shall be running about, and you Wwuld only be an incumbrance. Good Lye.” He vas turning away without oven a hand *Basp, when she reached out her white, hapely and ringless one and said: “Good bye, then, Edward; surely we have nfit been married so long that we may ne t shake hands.” He glanced coldly at the proffered member and replied in a tone so low that she alone could hear: “You have registered a vow, I be lieve; so have I, and trust we will Dot again join hands until vou put on your rings, at least the wedding one,” and with the words ho turned upon his heel and walked away. The je was a great lump in the pretty white throat of the young wife and a mist before her eyes; but she managed to sup tress and hide her feelings in the busth Hind confusion of starting, and to send jt a ripple of musical laughter at so\ • •Cjdinage as her husband drove off, “i. especial benefit* for woman ■v Ibt /e ■,.T\;ffg"a’na forgiving g lu ing by nature, yet the best Jjrthmn can be provoking and spiteful yfron provoca tion—and Mrs. Ladis was no exception to the rule. The day wat passed as usual upon such occasion There was much fatigu ing search after a little enjoyment; much climbing -of rocky heights and clambering over , rough and slippery ways; sitting mossy, damp and bug-sheltering piling with cramped limb* upon cold viands aud with limited facilities; for either somebody had for gotten the spoobs or cups, and all were kcuprised that ?Yhey never once thought of forks!” Bat their appetites were sharpened by exercise and all discom forts made light of, and the deluding creatures went home declaring they had had “ such a splendid time.” lii this instance the wagon in which Mrs. Ladis was returning (with many others) broke down upon the rough road, and the others had to take in tlio ladies, leaving many of the gentlemen to walk, and it so happened that Mrs. Ladis was assigned a seat in the buggy with young Ellery, he having driven out alone. She knew well enough her husband would be furious over it, but she was not going to render herself ridiculous by declining a simple and necessary courtesy. Yet as they rode along she felt im patience and chagrin at the accident which had thrust her upon her com panion. “ The whele day has been to me an unpleasant one, aud I wish I had re mained at home,” she said. “ 1 wish Mr. Ladis could hear you,” laughed Ellery. “He would vole you the most devoted of wives and his con jugal soul delight in the snubbing you inflict upon your gentlemen friends.” “ I suppose I ought to be exceedingly grateful to you, Mr. Ellery, for the privilege of being driven home by you, but I do not feel very kindly disposed toward you at present.” “ Why, Mrs. Landis?” he interrupted. “ What have I done to merit vour dis pleasure? I have noticed all day your avoidance of me, and with what reluct ance you accepted a seat in my car riage.” “ I have lost my emerald ring, sir, and I am told that you have been seen wear ing it and knowing, if so, that it must have fraudulently come into your posses sion, I must have naturally felt indig nant, especially as my husband is angry thereat.” “ I regret to be a cause of annoyance to you,” returned he, and while speaking took from his pocket an emerald ring very unlike the one in question. “ You eee, madame, that your jealous and sus picious husband —” “ Hush! I will not hear a word against him,” interruped the lady. “ I have lost my ring, and it was but natural he that he should think—” “H is wife was a giddy flirt, having denied any knowledge of the where abouts of the missing jewel, and insist ing, I presume, that I had it with your sanction.” “ Mr. Ellery, I will never speak to you again if you say another word against my husband,” she replied, with indig nant tears springing to her eyes. “lam not likely to have the oppor tunity, madam, for there comes your lord and master after the wife he neither honors nor trusts.” Nothing could have exceeded the sur- Erise of Mr. Ladis when they met, to find is wife being escorted home by Ellery. They had started in advance of the rest of the company, and consequently the husband had no knowledge of the acci dent which had thrust her upon him. And the flushed face and indignant manner of the lady he at once construed into signs of guilt at detection, for he well knew his coming must have been neexpected, she supposing him to have gone to the city. “ I will relieve you of my wife, sir,” said he !n liis most icy manner and with an angry flash darken ing his face. As Ellery assisted the lady from liis carriage to that of her husband some imp of darkness must have prompted his words, for he said: “That’s the way with you husbands. You won’t let another fellow take even one step into your Elysium without put ting in an unwelcome appearance.” Wordless, and with fierce anger dart ing from his eyes, Mr. Ladis struck his spirited horses as they were in the act of turning, and in answer to the stinging stroke, they swerved aside, the carriage overturned with a crash, the occupants were thrown violently to the ground, and the animals, freed from restraint, dashed away with the carriage clattering at their heels. In an instant Ellery sprang to render assistance, found Mr. Laclis stunned and his wife wholly unconscious and appar ently dead. “ Help will be bore presently,” said Ellery, and in a few words explained the accident that bad caused Mrs. Ladis to be in his company. Forgetting every doubt and grievance, the young husband held liis wife in his arms, gazed upon her death-white face, and frantically called her name and begged her to speak buka single word. Help came at last, and they bore her home but partially revived and laid her in that unconscious statirupom her own bed. The physician who had been sum moned pronounced her in great danger from contusion of the brain. Wearily and slowly the hours dragged along to the young husband, ever a watcher by her side. Tortured by her sufferings lay the poor woman with her spirit wandering ever in a dream land peopled by her husband s doubts of her, his accusations which she attempted to refute in mlit terings of indignant protest, and the lit tle hands wandering over the bed in search of the ring; often finding it in imagination, with sighs of contentment, only to be followed by its loss again or some new trouble or misunderstanding between herself and her dearly beloved husband; and all the while her eyes had an unearthly brilliancy, her face flushed, her lips ashy, and even moving. At last the physician forbade the presence of Mr. Ladis. “ I will not answer for her life unless you leave the room,” he said. “ Your presence constantly keeps up the excite ment; your voice increases her delu sions.” “ I will do asyou bid me,” returned the agonized husband, “ provided you pro mise to uotify me of any change the in stant it occurs.” The promise given, young Ellery, who had been in constant sympathy with arid ministration to Mr- Ladis, led him to his ow’n room, placed him upon a couch and attempted to lead his mind away from the cause of anxiety, in nervous ex pectancy that would not admit of repose, Ladis tossed about the tassels and fin gered the hem of his dressing-gown. “ There is something in this corner,” he said; and taking his knife, lip made a small incision and out roV%d tfm missing ring of liis wife! Then he cotuinuecLal most wildly: “I remember now; Eu genia sewed up a r.ent in the garment the very day she lost the fatal ring. It was always large for her and required a guard. She had neglected to put one on and the emerald must have slipped from her finger. And I, miserable wretch that I am. tortured her with doubts and mistrust, and if she dies I shall have been her murderer!” In vain Ellery attempted to cheer and speak words of hope. But springing to his feet Ladis paced the floor rapidly aud continued: “ I tell you, but for my ceaseless jealous rage, my poor wife would not now be lying there a victim of that acci dent. If she dies, I shall have been her murderer, and cannot, will not, survive her.” “ You must not yield to this mad ness,” said his friend. “ True, you have cruelly wronged your wife, and are but receiving a justly merited punishment, and must submit to the blow; and should the worst come and seal a life separation, it would be better for you both than the life you had commenced to inaugurate with that pure, sensitive and trusting woman.” “ I know it; God help me!” exclaimed the contrite, broken-hearted man, as he sank into a chair, and covering his face with his hands, wept repentant tears— that balm of C |lead for a tortured soul. Long hours passed before Mr. Ladis was summoned to the side of his wife. She had at last sank into a quiet and peaceful slumber, and he was permitted to watch alone by licr bedside for the same awakening the physician had pre dicted was to follow. The blackness of night nad faded into the rosy dawn of anew - day, before she opened her eyes to meet the loving ones bending over her. There was a silent meeting of lips; whispered words of TERMS si.oo pr Annum, in Advance, NUMBER 6. assurance and thankfulness from the husband, as he bedewed her hands with tears and covered them with kisses. In reply she only whispered lowly and trembingly, though joyfully: “ Bring me my rings, Edward.” He did as she had requested, and slipped them one by one upon the poor white hands, even to the last emerald, and sealed them with a kiss, explaining briefly how the missing one had been found. And at last, when Mr. Ellery came with the physician for tidings of the invalid, they found her slumbering sweetly with her head upon the breast of her husband, whose face smiled upon them unspeakable joy and thanks for the life preserved and their kind administra tions. Since that hour, life has glided for them as a peaceful stream, with no vain coquettishnesa upon the part of the wife, and no jealous doubts on that of the husband. WiJIS AND WHIMS. The most welcome breakfast Dell is a punctual wife.— Cincinnati Trade List. A spendthrift’s purse, like a thun der cloud, is constantly lightning. A midnight broil—oysters for two after the opera is over. Where there’s smoke there's some fire, and often a mighty poor cigar. If Noah was a consistenr. Jew what nduced him to take Ham into the Aik? It is a peculiar feature of the butter market that a bad article ouranksa good one. It is no sign that a hen meditates evil to her owner simply because she lays for him. “Can love die?” asks Mrs. Nealy in a recent poem. It can not, though it gets dreadfully adjourned occasionally. A gentleman in conversation said that his dogs were Al. Shouldn’t they be rated K 9? Certainly they 028. Patent medicines are ripe, though some of their advertising agents are a little fresh. Song of the street gamin with a dis carded stub between his lips: “ I’m called little butt-takc-up.” Kentucky has a ghost that whistles. The natural inference is that it is out of the wilderness. Talk about Irish traits, but haven’t the Germans their beer-in straight?— Saturday flight. AN exchange says: “There is no royal road to matrimony.” Correct; both king and pauper have to waltz right up to the Captain’s office and interview the old man. A young lady named Ruth, after being knocked down and trampled upon by a horse, picked herself up and walked home unassisted. This proves that Ruth crushed to earth will rise again. A strolling theatrical company was at the dinner table. A waiter approached one of the members and said. “(Soup?” “No, sir,” said the person addressed, “I am one of the musicians ” A Connecticut man recently said: “ Lend mo a dollar. My wife has left me, and I want to advertise that I am not responsible for her debts.” Nothing makes one so happy in this world as work, excepting, of course, pleasure, including eating, drinking, and sleeping. “ How dare you swear before me?” asked a man of his son, recently. “ How did I know you wanted to swear first?” said the spoiled urchin. “If you don’t want to be robbed of your good name,” says the Minneapolis Tribune, “don’t have it printed on your umbrella.” Sir Garnet Wolsely calls newspaper men “ drones.” The term is a foolish one. Newspaper men are the buzziest men going. An impecunious actor, who strayed into an auction store, called the auc tioneer’s hammer Banquo't ghost because it would not down at his bidding. A little girl who was sent out to look for eggs came back unsuccessful, and complained that “ there w’ere lots of hens standing around doing nothing.” “ I have a love letter,” said the ser vant girl to her mistress. “ Will ye rade it to me? And here is some cotton wud ve stuff'in yer ears whoile ye rade it?” A gentleman was in this city, last week, trying to introduce paper' shirts for winter w T ear. We don’t know, but it seems to us that a shirt made of a story paper would have too many tales. A schoolmistress asked a child what s-e-e spelt. The child hesitated. said the teacher: “ What do Ido w - hen I look at Mr. Smith?” “ Thquint,” replied the pupil. Our advice to the fair ladies is, better make a pet of your husband than of your pup dog. The husband may get mad, but he never—that is hardly ever —bites, and if he does, he can’t give you the hydrophobia. A WELL-KNOWN minister repudiates the received theory that there is music in heaven. He declares that his choir has given him so much trouble on earth that the idea of music in the world to come is wholly repugnant to his ideas of eternal peace and rest. “ I’m going on a journey, pa,” the printer’s daughter said, and as he thought of losing her, tears sad and salt he shed, but when he soon discovered her upon a workman’s lap, “this is the jour-knee that I ieant,” she said unto her pap. An American tourist was visiting Naples and saw Vesuvius during an eruption. “ Have you anything like that in the New World?” was the aues tion of an Italian spectator. “No,” re plied Jonathan, “but I guess we have a mill-dam that would put it out in five minutes!”