Newspaper Page Text
G. W. M. TATUM, Editor and Proprietor.
volume iv.
Railroads,
Chickasaw Route,
VIA
MEMPHIS & CKARIEBTOK R R.
T ' v ° PASSENGFIt TRAINS DAILY
TO
MEMiTAIS, TENN.
PASS. Ex.
Lv Caattanoncja 830 a m .8 10 p m
f Stevenson 10 00 a m 945 p m
‘jCottsioro 1035 a m 10 22 p m
, {* unt ? v 'le 1205 pm 1155 pm
Bejatur 125 pm 100 am
Florence 12 00 n’n 2 10am
. S orin * h , v 5 31pm 521 am
*• Grand .1 unction.... 727 p m 725a n>
Air Memphis 930 pm 945 a m
Oloae connection is made at Memphis
with the Memphis & Little Rock
Railroad (or all points in
ARKANSAS AND TEXAS.
Tue time by this line from Chattanoo
ga to Memphis, Little Rock, and points
beyond, is five hours quicker than by any
other line.
Through Passenger Coaelies anil Baggage
Cars from
CHATTANOOGA to LITTLE ROCK
Without Change.
No Other Line Offers these
Advantages.
B@T“EMIGBANT tickets now selling at
THE LOWEST RATES.
For further information call on or
write to J. M. SUTTON,
Passenger Agt., Chickasaw Route,
P. O. Box 224. Chattonooga, Tenr.
. Mm Great Soiern li’y
Time Card,
/ Taking effect January 15tb, 18S2.
SOUTH BOUND.
No. 1. Mail.
Arrive. Depart.
Chattanooga am 8 25
Wanhatchie 840 do 84!
M organ ville 869 do 900
Treuton 916 do 917
Rising Fawn 9 37 do 938
Attalla 12 20 do 12 35
Birmingham 255 do 301
Tuscaloosa 523 do 525
Meridian 10 00 do
Charles B. Wallace, Jl. Collbran,
- Su P er 'utendent. Geu’l Pass. Ag’t.
KasMle.Cliateoia & St, Louis R’y.
AHEAD OF ALL COMPETITORS.
business mks,tourists.nrnirMom
EMIGRANTS, KAMI LI MS, R t Ffl E IYI BL R
Tl*** U*.i R(m,o> to Louisville, Cincinnati, Indi
a-anolig, Chicago, and the Mortb, is via Ntti
vllle.
Toe End ISi.lr to S. Lou'S and the West is
via nelieDsir.
The Qel Itsn'e to West Tennessee a*id Kor,-
tucKY, Misslssipi, Arkansas arid Tones lointsi'.
via IHeHemie.
DON’T FOHGKT IT.
—By this Line you secure the—
MAXIMUM Conifer, S.il istarl ion j
MINIMUM ° f FxpciiHc, Anxiety.
HI I IT ? ITI U 111 Bother, Fatigue.
Be sure to buy your tickets over tne
N. C. & St. L. R’y.
THE INEXPERIENCED TRAV*
. ELER. net and not go amiss; few changes
a"e necessary, and such as are unavoida
ble Are made in Union Depots.
Through Sleepers
—BETWEEN —
Atlanta and Nashville, Atlanta and Lou
isville,, Nashville and St. Louis, via Co
lumbus, Nashville and Louisville, Nash
ville aud Memphis, Martin and St. Louis,
Union City and St. Louis, McKerzieand
Little Rock, where connection is made
with Through Sleepers to all Texas pionts.
Call on or address
A. B. Wrenn Atlanta, Ga.
J. TL Peebles, T. A. Chattanooga, Tenn.
W. T. Rogers, P. A. Chatanooga, Tenr.
W. L. Danley, G. P. and T. A.,
Nashville, Tenn.
Rising Fawn Lodge, No. 203, meets
first aud third Saturday nights of each
month. J. W. Rus9EY, W. M.
S. H. Thurman, Sec’ty.
1 renton Lodge, No. 179, meets once a
a month cn Friday ,nigat, on or before
the full moon.
W. U. Jaooway. W. M.
G. M. Crabtree, Secby.
Tientun Chapter No. (10, R. A M ,
meets on the third Wednesday night of
each month,
M. A. B. Tatum, H. P.
, W. U. Jacoway, Sfc’ty.
Court of O. dinarv meets on first Mon
day of each month.
G. JL Cpabtree Ordinary.
S- H. Thurman, Circuit Court Clerk
B. P. Jlajor°, Sheriff,
r Joseph Coleman, Tax Rceiver.
D E Tatum, Tax Collector.
J >-fpb Coroner.
Wm, Morris and, County Surveyor,
NEWS GLEANINGS.
Tennessee has forty marriage associa
tions.
Seventy gold mines are being worked
in Georgia.
Abbeville, Ala., has a colored citizen
worth $20,000.
Six negroes sit on the grand jury at
Brownsville, Tenn.
Augusta, Ga., has $6,000,000 invested
in manufactories.
Two thousand Choctaw Indians still
live in Mississippi,
A large car factory is to be establish
ed at Danville, Ga.
Chattanooga has the finest union de
depot in the South.
The largest peach orchard in the
world is in Alabama.
Pepper pods weighing a quarter of a
pound grow at Waldo, Fla.
Cedar Key,Fla., shipped 4,000 pounds
of turtles one day last week.
The cotton crop of Florida will be
about the same as that of last year.
Chatham county, Ga., has shipped
$50,000 worth of cabbages this year.
One of the richest mica mines in the
world has been discovered near Athens,
Ga,
Five hundred thousand dollars will
be invested in anew cotton mill at Sel
ma, Ala.
The population of Birmingham, Ala.,
is estimated at from 8,000 to 12,000
Quite a margin.
The authorities of Madison county,
Fla., will abolish the license of SSOO for
trading in cotton seed.
During the ten years from 1870 to
188’) Tennessee increased the number of
her farms forty per cent.
A Chili squash, raised as an experi
ment by a Monticello, Fla., farmer,
weighs nearly 200 pounds.
Senator Brown is the largest individ
ual tax-payer in Atlanta, Ga , and he
pays taxes on $329,500 worth of real
personal property.
A mystsrious rot has made its appeal*
anee among the Tennessee vineyards, and
it is feared great damage will be done
the heretofore promising fruit.
Within the neighborhood of Talbott’s
station, Jefferson county, Tenn., over
five hundred sheep have been killed'
and as great a number crippled, by dogs
in the last twelve months.
A canal to be built at Rome, Ga , on
the Etowah river, will be four and a
half miles long, 262,96 horse power and
have a fall of over twenty-six feet. It
is intended for manufacturing purposes,
and will cost $350,000.
A. M. Page, the hero of the great
Lowndesbond robberyat Clarksburg, W.
Va,, who succeeded in getting away
with SIOO,OOO in money and bonds, has
just been released from prison after serv.
ing out seven years of an eight years
sentence.
An inexhaustable mine of corundum
stone, the next hardest known substance
to the diamond, has been discovered in
Butts county, Ga. It resembles the
sapphire, is susceptible of high polish,
and is valuable in many ways.
Loren tz Rothenback is the modern
Samson, who labors in the iron works
at Cedartown, Tenn., and amuses himself
and delights the natives by carrying a
pair of 500-pound car wheels, attached
to the axle, around the yard with per
feet ease.
The Art of Mezzotint.
These attempts at revising the art of
mezzotint as employed upon original
work have a special interest besides that
which attaches to them as experiments
so far successful and promising to be
still more so. They show tlxe de
sire to cultivate a very beautiful
and refined style in which English
artists, inspired as they were by
the beautiful pictures of Reynolds and
Gainsborough, more than a hundred
years ago, arrived at the highest perfec
tion. That the method should ever have
been suffered to fall into disuse, and be
supplanted by the more mechanical and
less artistic work produced in various
forms by various tools used to cut into
the plate in a more or less stiff and un
pliant manner, is much to be regretted.
It is essentially a painter’s method, more
pictorial than any other, and broader in
treatment, and one, therefore, that en
ables the artist to give full expression to
his feeling for the beauties of light and
shade and every charm of gradation and
suggested color possible to a mono
chrome.
—The prospect for a large apple crop
in New York and the other Eastern
States is reported as excellent,
RISING FAWN. DADE COUNTY, GEORGIA, THURSDAY. JULY 20, LBS 2.
“Faithful to the flight, Fearless Against Wrcng.”
“THE NIGHT COMETH ON."
Deep down ’mong-st the reedy hollows,
And away thro’ the meadows low,
Swift o’er its shining pebbles,
Pausing not in its ceaseless flow,
The brook that comes down from the mountain
To the ocean must speed its flight,
As the brightness that dawned with the
morning
Must die on the threshold of night.
The ferns by the lirookside growing,
And the reeds a they murmur and sigh,
And the willows and meadow grasses
Keep time as the brook sweeps by,
And the ocean is calmly waiting,
But never a ripple will tell,
When the wavelets the brook is bringing
Bhall bo merged in its long, low swell.
And there cometh a royal sunset
That lighteth the funeral pyre
Of the day as it glides down the western sky
And dies in its crimson tire;
And night with its swift wing mounting,
'The brightness sweepeth away,
And setteth the seal ot darkness
On the tomb of the vanished day.
And so it but little recketh
How radiant life’s dawn may be;
It as surely wears on to the gloaming
As the brook fioweth on to the sea.
And however fair bo its evening
Its brightness will soon be gone.
And the waning- light and the gathering gloom
Will whisper: “The night cometh on.”
—Anna Alexander Cameron . in Our Continent,
AMERICAN MONEY AND ITS USES.
The unit of the American money ta
ble is the mill. It is not coined now.
They tried it once, but it was discov
ered that all the pastors in America
were getting their salaries in that coin.
To save these very estimable people
from starvation, therefore, the coinage
of the mill was stopped.
A cent is used to drop into (he out
stretched hand of poverty and the tin
imp of the melodious organ-grinder.
It is also used to run the Sunday
school, support foreign missions and
bribe children of six years old and tin
ier. It isn't good for any other pur
poses west of the Mississippi, but fur
ther East, down in t lie cultured region
round about Boston, in the plane of
high political morality and general
purity of New York, and generally all
through the barbarous orient, it is used
to buy newspapers, many of the news
papers in that land being sold for a
cent. It will, also, in that favored
land, buy bananas and oranges, and as
sist iii paying street-car fares. It is
also used largely as change. When a
man buys a New Hampshire rock
patch—sometimes called a farm—
eleven and one-quarter acres at #l9O
per acre, the buyer will wait in the of
fice three hours” and a half while the
real-estate agent shins around and gets
change for a two-Cent piece, in order
to make even purchase money. In the
far-West, the cent, save that which is
worn by the guileless Indian, is almost
unknown. It takes ten mills to make
the United States cent. One gin mill
does the work for the Indian.
The next coin in the ascending scale
is the two-cent piece. It is twice as
worthless or twice as useful as the cent,
according to the accidental or oriental
locality of its circulation. In any State
it will buy a revenue stamp to put on a
bank check, and this causes it to be in
such constant and heavy demand in the
newspaper offices that it always com
mands a large premium.
The nickel is worth five cents, and
stands on the verge of silver money. It
is used to play “crack loo” with, and
is also largely employed in “match
ing.” It is invariably lost when you
match with it. Its principal use "in com
merce is the purchase of schooners; like
wise schnits. If the coinage of the
nickel should be stopped for two weeks
three-fourths of all the beer saloons in
the United States would go into bank
ruptcy. The nickel will buy a newspa
per anywhere in America, and but for
the strong demand on the part of the
beer garden, it would scarcely be ap
plied lo any oilier use. In some places
it will get a “ shine” with the heels left
out. it will pay a streetcar fare in any
place in the world except Philadelphia.
A dime is the familiar ten-cent piece
of commaft-e. it is always made of sil
ver, all others being imitations. A dime
will buy a live cent eigauwith a red pa
per collar on. It will secure you admis
sion to the side. show. It will also buy
a drink of whisky that will burn*a hole
through the sole of your boots. It is
also largely used for the purchase of
line-cut tobacco. Efforts have been
made to utilize it as a purchasing power
for ice-cream, but as it will only buy oue
small dish, it has been a failure in that
direction. It is the most inconvenient
coin known, and is disliked greatly on
account of its supreme selfishness. It
will not buy two of anything, except
malt liquor and the fatal brand of al
leged cigars known as “tufers.” It is
used to a considerable extent in the pur
chase of cigarettes, by young men who
are not yet able to smoke tobacco.
A quarter is a real coin. It is worth
two dimes and a irckle and ha- .-ome
style about it. It is the purchasing
equivalent of three domestic <>-• two im
ported cigar.-. It is an aristocrat at the
cigar-stand but a plebeian at the theater.
Laid in the honest palm of the hotel
porter, it makes him übiquitous; tie voted
to the waiter, lie becomes a horn of
plenty and fastens himself with a death
like grip to the back of your chair. The
quarter stands in the best silver society
and shrinks not from even the dollar.
He is convivial, social and friendly, and
is the easist to lend and handiest to
borrow in the whole lot, hence he is
never still, and is largely .mown in
society as “lemruea quarter.” You an
buy something of anything for a
quarter, and hire a boy to run an
errand nine miles away for one. In
general, it is worth thirty cents, because
whatever is sold foi a dime, you can
buy in threes for a quarter. Very fatten,
indeed, have efforts been made
the activities and enthusiasm ol' the
quarter in the cause of foreign rp Us ions,
but it isn't that kind of a bird. t It feels
that it has grown too big for that sort
oi tn tig, but is exactly the correct size
l; d proper age for the porter of the
s!< ( plug-car.
1 e half-dollar is a rather more lone
*ip con than the quarter. It is a
bat rcther to the dollar, and it is prin
cipally devoted to sustaining Mr. Bar
mim's great moral show In some
parts of America the half-dollar is nev
r -ceil and never known to exist, save
'•.;> on the Pay the circus cbmes to
n '-einoiiii ... b\ overling itself
strongly, it can buy a pound or butter,
and Las been known to procure a pint
of s’mwberrie.-i late in the season, but
•Ids effort is ahvavs fatal, and the half
dollar is its own sacrilice. in connec
tion with the quarter, the half-dollar
sometimes goes into a pool and forms a
combination known as “six bits” tiie
world over, save only in York State,
where it is called “six shillin'..” In this
State, also, the half-dollar itself is fre-
I'leaLy designated b_ the awful title of
“four shill a’.” After a half-dollar has
once been called “four shillin’,” and you
•’an prove it, it will onlv pass for forty
cents out West.
n ihe United States the dollar varies
oi vane troin liinotv two to one liuu
(l off cants, the greatest Republic on
•m i: bavin** exp •annealed \\ i:h several
kinds of dollars before it learned just
wha!. it wanted, and it hasn’t found out
what it ;<vet. A dollar will buy any
thing in n 99-ocnt s'ore, and it is eon
si ■. ii die proper piaster for the head
'■•a tc • it \o i a c going to stav three or
four days. When made of silver, it is a
splendid thing to throw at a dog, or
carry in your pocket when you want to
drown yourself. It is used to subscribe
for the Washington Monument, and it
will buy enough fire-crackers to go
around one boy on the Fourth of July.
WL.en the dollar is twins, it will take
you a weekly newspaper for a whole
year, or a sleeping-car berth tor one
night, I', hen we get among the dol
lars, we are in the very aristocracy oi
money.
The five-dollar bill is used to bet on
the wrong horse with. It is also popu
lar as a borrowing medium Saturday
ah ■••• noon, an 4 it'pays lor a livery
“boss' 1 all Sunday. In domestic affairs,
it. is generally understood among men
that with five dollars a Woman ought to
run :• household of eight children and
i\\ . wan s a whole week. The same
,; p v,u i •;> ,n> with the man’s ner
u ;• ~ a da a:;d a haM
• 1 v. li wifi a!~<jjfln'*a
w . a u •"• Ini r his
wife’s old one. When the five dollars
is a gold piece, it is handy to give to a
beggar or street car conductor for a
cent, after dark.
A ten-d bar hilt is the alternative of
ton days; \ou pay the one or get the
other. It will aso buy live red or ten
v, h (;> chips. 'The tvventy-dollar bill
will buy your wife a m|v bonnet, and
its brother will enable her to make the
children—if there is only one of them—
look half way decent. The uses of the
twenty-dollar bill very limited, and
this piece of monew itself is very shy
and hard to find, h ding away in banks
and lire-proof safes, and only capt
ured b; long days of hard labor on a
full hand.
It has beeii sail, and is still claimed
by sonic wrib is on finance* that there is
a -GO) hill. This i.- an awful lie; the
ex ravagant coinage of the wandering
brain of some financial editor, who has
gone mad by the compilation of bank
reports in which sums of one thousand
and even two thousand dollars have
been mentioned.. One hundred dollars!
Why, there would be no limit tu the pur
chasing power of such a coin. It would
buy anew press and anew dress for the
paper, put up anew building and hire a
funny man at each end. It could put a
new organ in the church and pay the
pastor’s salary with one hand tied be
hind it. It could buy a railroad ticket
that would carry you farther than a
pass, in the hands of wicked and de
signing men it would be a power peril
ous to the safety of the Republic. Why,
it would buy two suits of clothes, and
plank the money right down for them. A
t-100 bill! The very nature of the state
ment, its wild, uncurbed, limitless
exaggeration brands itself with its own
hand, as a measureless lie. $100!
When men allow themselves to be
dragged into such absurdities by the
heat of discussion it is time to close the
debate. A SIOO bill. Why, man alive,
the President of the United States never
had that much money. One hundred
dollars'— Burlington Hawkey e.
It all came about m this wise: The
man with the red nose had been giving
his experience at the prayer meeting.
He said he was the vilest of sinners, and
altogether unworthy of saving grace.
Ho was followed by a modest little gen
tle man, who remarked that he could
corroborate all the dear brother had
said. Indeed, he would go further, and
say that the brother was the meanest
and most rascally old curmudgeon in
town. Then the' first speaker jumped
for the modest little gentleman, clear
ing three settees in transit; two youug
fellows in the corner started for the
settee-jumper at the same instant;
Deacon Jones flung the pulpit Bible
at the head of the foremost young fel
low ; Sister Brown pulled at Deacon
Jones’s coat taiis ; the lights went out,
somebody hollered ,‘fire,” the whole de
partment came galloping up to the meet
ing-house, three streams were on before
you could say “Jack Robinson,” and
everybody was drenched to the skin.
You wouldn’t think so much bother
would be raised just because one brother
wished to help another to give a good
experience—now, would you. — Boston
Transcript,
A Steam-Plow at Work.
A Fargo, Dakota, letter to the Boston
Journal says: “ After all that has been
done with reference to bringing out a
steam-plow in this country, it remains
for an ingenious Englishman to invent
and place in successful working a steam
plow. Mr. J. G. Allen, of Leeds, En
gland. agent for John Fowler & Cos.,
the manufacturers of steam-plows at
Leeds, is accomplishing some excellent
work on the Aurora farm, belonging to
Captain Thomas W. Hunt, at Blanchard,
Dakota. It is attracting a great deal of
attention, and farmers are coming long
distances to see the plow at work. Two
enormous traction engines are placed
about 300 to 500 yards apart. Beneath
each engine and belted to the boiler is
a steel drum about live feet in diameter.
To this drum is attached a steel cable
about three-quarters of an inch in
diameter, 500 yards long, and capable
of sustaining a” weight of thirty tons,
which drags the plow to and fro across
the field. The plow is a frame-work of
iron resting upon two large wheels; on
each side of this frame are firmly fixed
six plows with colters that cut six fur
rows sixteen inches wide each time the
machine crosses the iield. On the ar
rival of the plow at the end of the fur
row the gauge changes position, and the
plows that have been in the air are low
ered and ready to start back. One man
is sufficient to guide the plow, and,
seated over the body of the machine,
directs one of the two large wheels in
the furrow last turned bv means of a
hand-wheel. Each engine is of about
forty-horse power, and weighs about
sixteen tons. When the plow reaches
one side of the field the engine on that
sides moves ahead eight feet, the opera
tion taking three and one-half minutes
only, and the plow is started back to
the other side of the field. The plow
will break from twenty-five to thirty-five
acres per day, according ty the soil,
location, and lav of the land, etc. It
also does harrowing.” i
*
A Brave Man.
At Brother Barnes’ meeting last
night, there was an episode in which a
colored brother and the highest judicial
officer of the State gave a public exhibi
tion of the fraternal relations existing
between the white and colored races in
Kentucky. While the evangelist stood
with outstretched hands asking: “Who
will trust the Lord/ ’ Judge Thomas
F. Hargis, of the Court of Appeals, was
moved to confession and took his seat
on the front row of chairs. Shortly
after thero passed down the aisle a
penitent, blacker than the midnight
eyes of the sable goddess. Then came
others who Brother Barnes observed
were cqjroful to choose seats as far away
as possible from the dusky brother.
Stopping right in the midst of the sing
ing, Brother Barnes said: “My dear
friends, you see that this colored
brother has come forward to confess
Christ, aud you are staying away simply
because you don’t want to sit beside
him. Here he sits alone on this front
row, and all that have come for
ward have been careful not to seat
themselves near him. Any man com
ing forward despite the prejudice
against color and taking a seat by the
side of this colored brother will be a
brave, noble man. I know that in the
eyes of society there is a difference be
tween you and him; but, dear friends,
before God the difference does not exist.
He was born this way. He cannot help
his color. Still, he has a soul to save.
If you stay away now it will prove the
success of the devil’s device. The devil
knows Frankfort people and has taken
this advantage of their prejudices. Oh,
my friends, this same devil is a sharp
old fellow, but I’m going to get ahead
of him. He doesn’t think any one will
have the courage lo sit nex#to Qpis col
ored man, and, friends, will you let the
devil triumph? A brave man, remem
ber, is ho who takes a seat alongside the
colored friend who has come forward to
confess Christ and save his soul from the
peril of eternal damnation.” At this
Judge Hargis arose, and. taking the
sable penitent by the hand, sat down in
the chair next him, Brother Barnes in
the meanwhile looking on approvingly,
and, with a quiet smile of happy satis
faction, exclaiming: “The Recording
Angel will note this in the Book of Life,
praise the Lord!” — Frankfort ( Ny. )
Dispatch
Fitted to a Chair.
In a fashionably-furnished store, 1
didn’t at first know what to make of the
actions of a young woman. She was
elaborately gotten up as to clothes, and
had some advantages in the way of
natural good looks, so that she was
altogether a thhig of considerable
beauty. She was in an upholstered
easy chair before a big mirror, and
striking various poses—now lying back
on the soft stuffing, both her arms
spread out negligently; now leaning
against one of the sides, with elbow
supporting her body; now sitting bolt
upright in the middle. All the while
she regarded her reflection in the glass
with a critical air. What do you sup
pose she was at? Why, getting herself
fitted with a chair. She knew how hard
it is to be graceful in some of the chairs
of novel shape, :Mid was bound to have
one that would ludp instead of hinder
ing her in posing prettily before her
visitors. When a girl sets out to be a
fascinator, you understand, she must
use all the devices available for that
purpose. So this creature was neither
lunatic nor fool, though the appear
ances were a little against her. I hung
about covertly, and saw that she finally
bought the chair, with the proviso that
the sides should be lowered two inches.
—Qimmnati Enquirer ,
TERMS— SI.OO p>r Annum tdrictlv in Advance.
PITH AND POINT.
—ln some parts of South America
the banana skin is converted into a ma
terial of which ladies’ dresses are made.
This is probably the kind that the lady
slips on easy. —Yonkers Statesman.
—You can never entirely discourage
a New Jersey man. When he comes
down to his last dollar he picks up a
spade and goes out to dig up some of
Kidd’s buried treasure. — Detroit Free
Dress.
— “ I s this my train P” asked a traveler
at the Grand Central Depot of a
lounger. “I don’t know,” was the re
ply. “I see it’s got the name of some
railroad company on the side, and ex
ited it belongs to them. Have you lost
a train anywhere?”— N. Y. Graphic.
—lt is stated that a railroad brake
man has become an operatic tenor, and
has, been engaged for next season at
SSOO a week, lie won’t have to learn
the Italian language, you see. He has
merely to speak his lines as he does the
names of stations and everybody will
think he’s speaking Italian.— Boston
Dost.
—The peculiar costume of the dwel
lers in Arizona is thus graphically de
scribed by a “tender-foot;” “In ordi
nary weather he wears a belt with pis
tols in it. When it grows chilly he puts
on another belt with pistols in it, and
when it becomes really cold he throws a
Winchester rifle over his shoulders.”
—Seth Green says fish can not shut
their eyes. Fogg says this explains why
they always succeed in keeping off his
hook. Whenever he goes fishing, the
fish arc all eyes and no mouth, and
every aye vide open. He thought they
kept their eyes open out of pure cussed
ness; but, now that he' knows that they
can’t help it, he simply despises where
he hated them before.— N. Y. Inde
pendent.
Well, my little girl,” said a New
Ilaven gentleman, to a friend’s
“preciousest,” “aren’t you going to sing
for mo?” “No, sir. I’m not a
singer.” Now, I thought you were a
little singer.” “Oh, no! I only sing a
little to my dolly.” “But I’ll bo your
dolly.” “You’re too big. I guess
sister Jennie wouldn’t mind if you was
hers, She said you was just splendid.”
Sudden rattling of the dishes in the
back room—where Jennie was busy.—
New Haven Bet) is ter.
—“The late A agony,’’says Jeems, “is
the way I felt this morning. My wife
asked me for a XX bill—a twenty, you
L now —and I cut the matter short by
telling her that it could not be did, for
the simple reason that I had only a
matter of a dollar or so in my pocket.
•I knew you’d tell me that,’ she said,
‘and it’s true, too.’ Aud, as I looked
up in amazement, she added: ‘I
looked in your pockets last night. I’ve
got the twenty.’ Oh! boys, how I felt!
But what could I do?”
—“Heart-disease,” said Jommie, as he
assisted i’atrick to up-end a barrel of
cement, “heart-disease is one of the
worst diseases. Some people never
know they have it till they dhrop down
dead.” Thrue for you, jeramie,” re
plied Patrick; “and* those people who
know that they have it have to be
moighty careful wid themselves. I
knew a man vvonst that had it, and he
was always obliged to dhrop work
about live minutes before he felt it
coming on.” —Somerville Journal.
A Ludicrous Stage Death-Scene.
Camille died last night at the Chest
nut Street Opera-house, not only to slow
music but to the unrestrained laughter
of the audience as well. The death
scence was marred by a most ludicrous
accident. When the curtain arose for
the last act, with Camille discovered
lying on a couch partly covered by a
furry robe, and the dews of death al
rea'iy gathering on her brow, the house
was still and expectant. After leaving
the death-chamber Gaston re-entered,
and the dying woman raised herself to
greet him. At that moment there was
an ominous creak, and one of the sup
ports of the couch gave way. The
actress seemed to grasp the situation
instantly, and attempted to conceal the
difficulty by heaving a long-drawn sigh,
and throwing herself back, but the ac
tion only made matters worse. The
death-bed gave way at one corner with
a crash, and the audience began to titter.
Nichelte, the maid, cnteied at this junc
ture and kneeling in front of her mis
tress began her part, but the couch giv
ing evidence by numerous groans of its
instability, she arose and wheeled a
chair up for the dying Camille’s accom
modation. By this time the audience
had fully appreciated the funniness of
the situation and were laughing very
audibly, but when Gaston approached,
and he, together with the maid and the
dying woman, could not control their
countenances, the audience fairly
roared. Camille, after dying in Ar
mand's arm-, was deposited in the easy
chair instead of on the couch, and ap
peared as a very smiling corpse.—Phil
adelphia Dress.
Too eager: The cresent shape of the
first quarter of the moon hung like ail
electric lamp in the Western sky, casting
a subdued, cool light upon the path
they had choseu. They walked with
slow and measured step and said little.
The scene was rapture-inspiring. At
last sue, looking up into his face with a
sort of a seared-to-deatli-like-a-young
fawn look, “Albert, how many walks
like this we’ve taken—” “ Yes, Roslind,
we have taken a great many walks like
this and—and—and—” “Oh, Albert,
now don’t.” “ Well, I won’t, seeing it’s
you.” Another case of snapping at the
bait too soon. — New Haven Register.
NUMBER 33.