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EIGHT SEASON'S INITIAL FUN BREAKS OUT AT THE GRIDIRON DINNER Leaders in Nation’s Life Gather at Festive Board Saturday Night-- Satire and Skit Abounds---Strict Observance of the President’s Injunction to Refrain From Discussion of War Issues - Uncle Sara’s Grievances Given Full Airing. Wasington—Members of the rabiner. ronsrosFinpn, diplomatists and leaders of all activities of the nation's life gathered round tho board boro Satur day night at the Gridiron Clubs win ter dinner. President Wilson's earnest injunc tion to the American people to re frain from public discussion of war issues was strictly regarded and the location of every one of the ninny satires and dramatic skits was always within the shore lines of the two oceans which bound the Americas. Uncle Sam's wards were given full opportunity to air their grievances, for the most part In song In a gathering described as "Uncle Sam's Jubilee." PREMATURE BALDNESS / / / / Prevented by CUT!CURA SOAP Shampoos followed by occa sional dressings of Cuticura Ointment. These super creamy emollients do much for dry, thin and falling hair, dandruff and itching scalps, and do it speedily, agreeably and economically. Samples Free by Mail Cuiirura Soar and Ointment aolii throughout tha world. 1 llieral Rumple of ear'll matted free, with .'I2'P. baok. Addreaa "Cutleura." !>*pt 2AII. Itnaton Balk’s Bargain Sale OF Ladies’ Skirts and Cloaks •Made of Heavy Wool Kerne*, Broad Cloth*. Boucler ami Other Wool Material, $2.60 Skirts at jfcl 57 SB.OO Skirts at $2 OO $8.50 Skirt* at 22 33 $4.00 Skirt* at jfc2 07 $5.00 Kkl’-t* at £3 $6 00 Skirt* at $4 Q() LADIES CLOAKS. $5.00 Cloak* at JR3 53 $6.00 Cloak* at J 4 f)Q $7.50 Cloak, at *5 00 $9 00 Cloaks at *0 OO $12.00 Clonk* at JtK ()() We also offer a lame line of pretty and useful articles suitable for Christmas Gifts SUCH AS Ladies' Initial llandkerchlefa. 8 in fancy box for 25C Men's Silk Initial Handker chief* at, each |QO Silk Muff era at, each 50'' Indies' Crochet Khan la ,roni 25C tc *1 so Infants' Mittens and Bootees, from IOC to 250 Children'* Fur Seta, «* *1 50 to #4 OO Ladle#’ White Fur Seta to 00 c Si 2 OO Children's Knitted Glove* . . 25C Men * Gloves and Gauntlets, tTo ' n 25 to il OO Mena and ladles' Sweater* trom 50c t< S 4 OO Cloth Kittens. Dog*. Elephants. w 5C and IOC Chlldren'a Hat* 50<’ t. tl 50 Ladles' and Misses' Mata, from 7lie to *2 50 Beautiful Flower*, a bunch. from 25C to tl 50 WE GIVE PURPLE TRADING STAMPS. C. J. T. BALK 600 Block Broadway. The negro complained of the work ings of the civil service Tkw which "has sentenced more good i olored vo ters to the levees and cotton fields than any oilier peonlcioua legislation." Me also deplored the new primary laws and to the air of "Old Uncle Ned," he sang: ‘‘Old Uncle Ned." "There was an old delegate, his name was Uncle Ned, He lived long ago, long ago. lie went to conventions whenever he was bid, And that’s Imw he lived, long ago. Clli IRUS: "Then lay down the shovel and the hoe, And hang up the fiddle and the how. There's no more work for poor Uncle Ned, The primaries laid him low." The farmer was another ward with a complaint, lie wanted a. bunch >f greenback*. Up home he had a shed full of squashes and wanted the treas ury to issue circulating notes on them. Two other wards were Colonel Watter son and Colonel Harvey. They had no grievances, but expressed their con tentment in a song, the. refrain of which was: "I've come hack, come hack, I've come hack Dear Deader to thee, to thee, I've come hack, come hack, I've come hack Dear Deader to thee." Among other wards, Alaska wantel to be shielded from exploitation of eapltfiliHts; Hawaii called attention to Queen I.lliuokalani's lack of pension; Uorto Rico wanted more government Jobs and a duty on sugar, and Filipino wanted to know when ho would grow up and be independent. When the latter was chided and told ttiat he must not get hasty, he replied; “Hasty! It’s Musty,” “Hasty! I'm getting musty." The politician complained that taxes had been laid on business papier, chew ing gum, billiard rooms and circuses, while whiskey had gone Scot free, be cause tlie hill had been passed In October and Ihe election was in No vember, arid in a burst of satire he sang: “If you have lo lay a tax, Don't put It onto rye. I’ut II onto luxuries. Hut keep it off of rye. Slick ;t onto chewing gum, (ir billiard cues, says I, But, for tho love of Mike, I beg you. Keep It off of rye." A realistic prize fight was staged In the center of the dining hall and the spectators wire treated to a lively mill. The slake was “a large house located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue," and tlie principals were "Kid Demo cracy" and “Old (J. O. P.” the referee being "Bull Moose," who announced his ability to lick both of the two old parties. His decisions had never la rn questioned, “even when overruled by the supreme court." Senate in Movies. A moving picture show enlivened the proceedings, representing “the greatest dellverHtlvs body on earth; the United States Senate" In session, hut the gen eral effect was greatly marred first, by a strenuous objection to such an undignified encroachment upon the bod\ and when that had been removed by the Insertion of his own am* Into the advertisement, by the fact that Senator Ollle .lames persisted in stand 'ng up and thereby blotting out the remainder of the picture. Following Its Invariable rule, the Gridiron Club Initiated, In the pres ence of its many guests, n new mem ber William lv ltrlgbam. Washington correspondent of the Boston Tran script, who was described ns "a. Jour nalist who would like to get into an association of newspaper men.” An swering questions he said that he wan "tn pretty good standing in Secretary Bryan's anteroom.” Mandalay and Oyster Bay. A Roosevelt song, to the tune of "I'm on My Way to Mandalay" follow ed with this chorus: "I'm on my way to Oyster Bay, Beneath my sheltering roof I’ve gol to stay. I sing a song, Of things gone wrong. I'm no longer trusted. They have got me flustered. Amt the Big Stick's busted. That's why I'm on the way to Oyster Bay, I’ve come to say goodbye.” “Old Home Week.” “Old Home Week" hrought together some old spirits under the kindly ey* of the Goddess of Liberty on an ele vated porch, who had come to wel come them from her station on the dome of the capttol. Uncle Joe Can non was among the first arrivals, and when asked how long he was going to stay replied: “Well; I didn't buy no return tick et.” Cy Sulloway, another returning con gressman. announced that up his way "the hunting Is poor, all the Bull Moose have been killed off.” When Nicholas ljongworth appeared. Cannon Inquired: "How's ,he family. Nick? Bring 'em all to the celebration?” l.ongworth- "All except father-in law," Cannon "Why don't you persuade him t stay tn some of those lonesome places he writes about?” l.ongworth--"There ain't no lone semer rlaee than Oyster Bay right now." When told that Secretary Daniels had abolished the win* mess on war ships during hts absence from Wash ington, Sulloway exclaimed: "That means no more Inspection cruises by the naval committee.” When Cannon learned that the Am erican troops had been withdrawn from Vera Crur November 28 be de clared: "I thought I heard firing op that day. It must have been thol salute to the flag." Other Skits. Other «k!ts portrayed the adequacy of the United State* army as viewed by Representative Gardner; the Fede ral Reserve Board tn full action try ing to "abfustloate" the newspaper re porters and a mock rehearsal of ths Gridiron Club Itself And emulating the publication of the European chan cellories. the club caused to be placed at each plate "The Blue Paper" cor respondence relating to tbs campaign preceding the outbreak of hostiltltn* on November Brd, 1914, and th. fatali ties lacldaat i $ a tti * if ' ; M g /# / The Best Shoe Value in the it § World at Regular Prices-- I jf tor a Limited time Reduced I |k to ACTUAL COST ft $2.50 Men and Women's Shoes 4 \ $3.00 Men and | p Women’s Shoes ft rHE AUGUSTA HERALD, AUGUSTA, GA. I 1 I Win |i IIHWP i* |Bp. j\o * , 11 (>^H^ SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13.