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Ms Unnnty Times. THEN TON, GEOIIGIA. Down at Panama coffins arc hired, and graves too. The latter cost §l2 for eighteen months, and in case of non payment the body is thrown out of the grave. Co.fins can be hired for §7. The number of students who are study ing in the five law colleges in Tokio, Japan, at present is upward of 28,004, showing an increase of about 1000 in comparison with the same period last year. The Jacksonville Times-Union notes an order from Paris to a Florida grower for several boxes of oranges. The citrus fruits of this country can compete with the Mediterranean fruits in their own territory. Death by decapitation is still recom mended by the French medical jurists, lu all other procedures, says Dr. Loye, a famous scientist, and in death by elec tricity in particular, the simulation of Vmtk is possible. A big struggle ten years ago, with re eults of such a sweeping character that «. partial disarmament could have fol lowed, would have been infinitely cheaper and better for Europe, avers the New York Time*, than this long nightmare of dread and ruinous preparation. It is estimated that the present popu lation of the United States is (14,000,000. The total increase is said to be 100,000 a month, exclusive of immigration, and last year the increase by immigration was 318,000. At this rate the next cen sus, which will be taken in IS'JO, will show about 07,000,000. What wc want mostly', in the opinion of the New York Times , is not so much an extended market for disposing of our surplus crops, but cheaper methods of production. If our vast crop of corn can be grown one cent a bushel cheaper than it now is we should save $20,000,- 000, or the value of 50,000,000 bushels of grain. It is suggested that as “Pa.” is some times used as an abbreviation of Penn sylvania, “Ma.” might be used as an ab breviation for Montana. A good abbre viation for the State of Washington—if it retains that name—will be hard to find; for the obvious “Wash.” is too sugges tive of a laundry to be considered for a moment. This fact alone, declares the New York Tribune, ought to rule out that name for the new State. An incident occurred at Queen Vic toria’s last drawing-room which has ex cited a great deal of comment. As W. H. White, Secretary of the American Legation, approached her Majesty a por tion of her head-dress, including the diminutive crown she wore, fell to the floor. For a full minute no one seemed to know what to da The ornament was Bnally replaced, but the superstitious ones seemed to regard it as a bad omen. Which of our great men is it that says nothing is ever lost or can be lost? The saying finds a notable"exemplification in the big mills of George Sibley, at Salem, Mass., where new cotton rags and rem nants are cut up into all manner of stay sg, lining, binding, tips and so on, for «se of other artisans. Buffs, that is, long cylinders of round pieces strung together and used for polishing brass, gold or silver goods, are also turned out by the firm. Judge Blodgett’s late decision that an employer is not responsible for the negli gence or incompetency of an employe, unless the person injured by such negli gence or incompetence gives written notice of suit inside of thirty days from date of injury will, if sustained, pre dicts the New York Commercial Adver tiser, work a mighty upsetting of the old common law doctrine, that he who doe 3 a thing by the agency of another person does it by himself. The total tobacco consumption of Eu rope, according to the Uhlands Woch cn idirijt, is about 2| pounds by each in habitant. In the Netherlands the pro portion is a little over seven pounds to Och inhabitant, in Austria-Hungary, v li pounds; in Germany, 8 pounds; in France, 2.1 pounds; in Great Britain »nd Ireland, 1.34 pounds; in Italy, 1.23 pounds, and in Russia, 1.2 pounds. In the United States the proportion is said to be pounds per inhabitant. Application for a patent for an elec tric light method of instant photogra phy has been made by two gentlemen of Dubuque, la. The application is de signed especially for the detection of burglars. The apparatus can be so ar ranged that a burglar in entering a bank, office, or dwelling, will, in his op erations, touch sojnetliing which will cause a flash, and the result will be his photograph left indelibly on the plate. A number of cameras may be placed in the room and a variety of views token simultaneously. The telltale wire can be fastened to' the knob of the safe or door so that life cannot avoid touching it, thus disclosing his identity. There were 52,762 arrests for intoxication and disorderly conduct in New York city in 1886. THE LONG AGO. Do you think of the long ago, sweet wife. As we sit by the old brook’s side, While the woodbird sings and the linden flings Its shadow over the tide? Do you think of the bright time gone, When we sat by this twinkling stream, Dreaming for hours ’mid its gay wild flowers As only youth can dream? You remember the hawthorn hedge Lioyond, Where the thrushes came to sing When the sky was blue and each gi'een leaf new In the fresh and joyful spring. Blue violets bowed beneath. And winds low answers gave. While rich and bright the trembling light Lay on the silver wave. You were scarcely a woman then, dear wife, But a youug girl, sweet and fair, A maiden meek with each soft round cheek Half-hidden ’neath waving hair; And flushed to the hue of an opening rose When my heart poured out its tale, While the trees around made a whispering sound At the soft kiss of the gale. My own! you have borne some sorrow since, There are shadows on your brow; Eyes which were bright as the stars of night Are dim and sorrowful now. You have folded two dimpled hands O’er a little child’s white breast, And laid her to sleep in a grave dug deep, But no sound can break that rest. We have only each other left to love As we sit by the old brook's side, While the woodbird sings and the linden fling 3 Its shadow ovfir the tide. You wonder how much the heart can bear, And your silent t3ardrops flow Let the joy of life return, sweet wife, For the sake of our long ago. —K Matheson, in Once a Week. A DESPERATE ESCAPE. TSY FKANK W. CALKIN'S, The dreadful Indian massacre of ’S3 depopulated whole counties of newly settled terr.tory in a single day—the 1 th of August—and drove from the Minnesota frontiers thousands of people in a few days’ Fmc. During this eventful period there were many thrilling and desperate adventures and hairb:eadth escapes. The local historians who published narratives gathered at haphazard at the time did all they could to cover the ground of in cident. The main facts and causes of the bloody uprising have been compiled and preserved in several volumes pub lished in St. Peter and St. Paul. In one of these several paragraphs are devoted to the murder of the men in charge of the stores at the isolated trad ing post on the eastern shore of Big Stone Lake. This account briefly relates the desperate escape of a Freuch and Indian boy, Baptiste or “Bat” Gubeau— as this common name amongthe Canadian French is frequently abbreviated. In the Minnesota massacre it was Lit tle Crow’s ruthless policy to exterminate all the whites west of the Mississippi. Every one with white blood in his veins who could not or would not take part against the settlers was to be killed. Contrary to the usual rule in Indian wars the fur-trader, from the very circum stance that he fancied he was safe, fell a swift and easy victim to the rifle and hatchet of the Sioux. All the employes of the four stores and warehouses at Big Stone, Myrick’s, Forbes’s, Koberts’s, Pratt & Co.’s were either French habitans or half and ouarter bloods of that extraction. Among those of mixed blood was the “warehouse boy,” Bat Gubeau. “~n the 21st day of August four of Poberts’s men, Bat and three Canadians, Patnode, Laundre and Pachette, were cutting hay on a marsh near fho lake shore below the post. They were at work in their loose shirt and leggings, mowing with scythes, one following the other. Without a second’s warning a party of “B anket” Sioux came up out of the tall grass a few rods distant and began flriag upon them. Patnode, Pachette and Laundre, who were ahead of Bat and most exposed to the Indian fire, were kill d almost at the first shot. Young Gubeau saved his life from their fire by quick-wittedly throwing himself forward upon his face* as though shot, lying across the swath and blade of his scythe. The Indians scalped his comrades and stripped them of their hats and Shoes; then several of them came to him and turned him over. He knew his captures well and could understand their language almost as well patois of his Cana dian parents. “Don’t kill me,” said he. “Why did you shoot those men they were always your friends.” “We killed them,” one replied, with black looks, “because all whites and fur men have always cheated and lied to the Indians, and we’ll kill you because you are a dog of a mixed blood. We shall kill you when the sun goes down, after a scalp-dance and after the squaws have burned the Indian blood out of your body with brands from their tires.” This is, in elfect, what tho savages said as near as Baptiste could interpret it in his broken English. The speaker was a Wapekutu medi cine man, well-known at the trading post as a malignant hater of the white men and a constant fomenter of bad feeling among his own people. While two of the Indians were tying Bat’s hands behind him with strips of buckskin, the medicine man began prancing around and telling, in a boast ful chant, the murders which had been committed upon the white settlers at the Lower Agency, at Beaver Creek and Birch Coolie, He sang boastfully that but two suns more would pass before every white man west of Minnehaha would die. The Sioux nation, possessed of the guns and ammunition taken from the dead settlers and soldiers could hold its country and beat back the white peo ple always. Then he warmed up and began recounting, after the whooping, singsong fashion of his kind, the cx- Eloits of himself and the others with im. The possession of a prisoner who could understand their peculiar chants and the braggings in which they so like to indulge wa3 unusual good fortune. The vauntings of the medicine man seemod to act upon the savages like the baneful charm some reptiles are said to exeicise. One by one they threw aside their weap ons and joined the medicine man in his weird leaps and chantings about the prisoner. Bat said not a word, but sat quietly, his shrewd eye< watching for a chance to break through the ring and escape. He was strong, lithe, and a swift run ner, and a plan of action soon came to him. He felt that it wa3 desperate enough but it was his only chance. A bayou or narrow bay ran up from the lake into (he marsh upon which he and his companions had been cutting hay, and the head of it was distant not more than a ten minutes’ run. This strip of water was grown thickly about with rushes, and was from four to six feet deep. If he could break away, escape his pursuers’ shots and outrun them, ho thought he might find a hiding place among the rushes until night should come on. About the time he had canvassed the chances of this plan, the Indians about him had begun to wind up their dano ing, with a peculiar gyrating movement known among them as the Moon Dance. In it the dancers wheel slowly about bow-leggedly, tetering first upon one foot ai d then upon the other, and swaying the body from the hips in a snake-liko movement. The head is idled in imitation of a lolling bear and the arms are worked writhingly, while the wriggling savage sings, in a most lugubrious, grunting tone: “E-yungh, b-ytingh! Hi-yee, hi-yer! E-yongh, e-yongli!” The prisoner kept his eyes upon one of the Indians, whom he knew—for he knew them all well—to be the best run ner among them. As this one swung around between himself and the line of retreat he had marked out, Bat sprang up and with an agile jump planted both heels of the army shoes he wore in the “small” of the dancer’s back. The Indian went down with a screech of pain and surprise, as the keen-witted Canadian passed over him and shot away toward the lake. Certain that he had disabled their swiftest runner, Bat felt chiefly con cerned for the moment in dodging bul lets and arrows. He sprang this way and that at as sharp angles as he could, and at the same time nmke good head way. The Indians caught up their guns in stantly upon seeing what had happened, but luckily only a few of their arms had been reloaded, and the shots aimed by Indians, breathless with the exertion of a shrieking dance, missed their target. Throwing down their guns, the whole party gave chase, yelling frightfully, as is their fashion. Bat glanced backward, and saw them spreading out in pursuit, the swiftest runnprs heading straight for the bayou on either side. As there was no longer any danger from bullets, the boy put himself down to his utmost speed, and beat his head toward the nearest noint of rushes. He was hampered by having liis hands tied behind, and the triumph ant yells, which sounded a little louder at each passing minute, caused him to fear greatly that they would overtake him. Over mowed ground, through tall grass for he ran like an antelope. He flP'gained a number of rods the start of the Indians while they were picking up their guns and firing, and this juivantage was what saved his life. the low bank of the inlt^M^i vance foremost Sioux, butKear weru®Ay that, as he plunged amolßpthe rushes, a hatchet thrown by one swished past his head, and dropped into the water in front. He threw himself headlong into the water, and dived amid the rushes. Theu he pushed himself along by kicking in the mud at the bottom. When his breath gave out, he raised his head out long enough to get a fresh breath, then ducked it and shoved ahead. In thi9 way he was speedily out of sight and reach of the Sioux, who did not follow him into the rushes. His pursuers spread out, and hurriedly sur rounded the bayou in the hope, no doubt, to catch him in the grass as he attempted to crawl out upon the other side. But Bat had no notion of going out of the bayou at present. He found bottom shallow enough to stand upon, and then began working his wrists out of the thongs which bound them. This he was soon able to do, as the water-soaked buckskin stretched at every strain. He then waited and listened. Soon he heard Indians talking upon the bank of the bayou opposite his entrance. They were looking for his traiFat the edge of the water, and asking each other if he had crossed, and which way he would go. Finally one of them said, “No, he is in there; the dog will not come out.” Then all was quiet. Bat would not stir again, for fear he should be discovered by the rattling of the rushes. The time wore on heavily. Toward night mosquitoes rose out of the water, and pestered him frightfully. He dared not thresh about, for fear his whereabouts should be discovered and fired upon by lurking Indians. Bullets and buckshot were to be dreaded, even though rushes enough intervened to hide him completely, although the bank was only a few rods distant on either side. As the vicious insects alighted upon his face and neck in swarms, he discov ered a method of alleviating his sulfer ings. Every few seconds, as his face became black with them, and their stings began to make him wince, he would quickly and softly lower his head under water, and hold it there as long as he could keep his breath. The cool water soothed the irritation of their bites, and gave him refuge from them a good part of the time. Darkness came at last, and with it a breeze which rustled the rushes, so that he could stir about without attracting attention by noise. He now speedily made use of his legs and arms in work ing his way down nearer the lake, where, in a thicket of tall cornstalk grass, he crawled out of the bayou, feeling still and water-logged. He lay in the grass resting and listening for an hour or so, and then, bending low in the grass, made his way to the high land prairie, a mile or more distant. Not daring to attempt to reach Fort Bidgely through the country which he had learned from his captors was over run by the Sioux, he set out for St. Cloud, nearly two hundred miles distant on the Mississippi. lie traveled three days and nights, occasionally dodging war parties of Sioux. During that time he lived upon roots and grass; these he chewed aad swallowed the juice. At length he walked into the streets of tit. Cloud. There was a large gathering of settlers there, and the buildings, mostly of logs, j had been fortified and put in a state of defence. There was a crowd of men in front of the first store he reached on entering the village. Faint and exhausted, Bat pushed through them, and asked inside for something to eat. A number ol settlers and others immediately caine in side, and in rough tones asked him what he, a half-breed—he wa3 a quarter-blood —yras doing among the whites? Bat told his story in broken English, but the crowd, incensed at the hundreds of murders committed, ar.d the loss oi friends and relatives, were jn a frenzied state of fury at the sight of one belong ing to the race which had committed such ravages. “lie’s a miserable spy!’’shouted one of them. “A sneakin’ Sioux, come among us to see how many there is uv us 1 Let’s hang him 1” Beardless,more than nnturally swarthy from exposure, haggard and ugly in countenance from hunger and fatigue, Bat’s appearance was against him. The crowd fiercely took up the cry: “Hang him!” The nearest men sprang forward and secured the unfortunate fellow. His hands were speedily tied with cord; from the stock of goods a rope was pro cured. and ho was hustled out of the store by the incensed settlers, who de clared their intention of stringing him to the first tree on the river bank. It was useless to plead or struggle, and despairingly the poor exhausted youth allowed himself to be dragged along the street. But a villager, who had the year before lived at Big Stone, pushed into the crowd to have a look at the prisoner, and fortunately recognized Bat at once. “Hullo!” he shouted. “Stop this, men! I know that boy. He’s one of Robert's men at Big Stone.” This, of course, put an immediate end to the proceedings. An innocent life had nearly been sacrificed to the intense feeling wrought up over the treacherous and wholesale murders so recently com mitted by Indians and half-breeds all about them. It is hardly necessary to add that the men were sorry enough of their conduct when they learned of Bat’s innocence, and that they treated him afterward with all the kindness of which they wero capable. Youth's Companion. Somethin? Electricity Is Doing. Under the title “Something Elefe tricity is Doing,” Charles Barnard writes in the Century : To the student of social science the electric motor is full of suggestions for the future. If power can be subdivided and conveyed to a distance, why may not our present factory system of labor be ultimately completely changed? Peo ple are huddled together under one roof because belts and shafts are so pitiably short. If power may traverse a wire, why net take the power to the people’s homes, or to smaller and more healthful shops in pleasanter places? To-day we find sewing women crowded in a hot, stuffy room, close to the noise, smell, dust, and terrible heat of some little steam engine at one end of the room. The place must be on a lower floor be cause of the weight of the engine and the cost of carrying coal upstairs. Let us see how the work may be done with motors. We may take the elevator in a wholesale clothing warehouse ou Bleecker street and pass through the salesrooms to the top floor. The build ing is lofty and of light construction, and yet we find in the bright and pleasant atic above the housetops a hundred girls, each using power. They are seated at long tables, each one having a sewing machine, and secured to the under side of the tabic is a small electric motor, one to each machine. The operator has only to touch a foot pedal and the motor about one-tenth of ahorse power, at very high speed. If the speed is too fast it can be regulated at will by the pressure of the foot on the treadle. There is no heat, no dust or ill-smelling oil, and only a slight humming sound, the sewing machine itself making more noise than the motor. The room is sweet, clean, and light, and it is in every respect a healthful workroom. If we look out of the window we see two in sulated wires passing under the sash down to the electric light wires on the poles below. There are peopie who cry out against the overhead wires, and would pull them all down. Some day they will be buried underground. Mean while, is it not an immense gain for these working girls to be placed in a quiet, sunny room, far from the madden ing engine? In another shop on Broad way we may see a different arrangement. A two-horse power motor takes its cur rent from an electric light wire in the street, and redistributes its power to shafting placed under the work tables. Each operator with a touch of her foot throws her machine into gear, and takes her share of the two-horse power. Tracing the Streams of Immigration. The tides of immigration during the past few years have been shifting. The rapid settlement of the unoccupied lands of the United States has served to deter many thousands from leaving their homes in Europe to come here. Still the volume of immigration has been larger than ever. What it would have been can only be conjectured, for immi gration obeys to a considerable degree the laws of geometrical progression. But Mexico has afforded homes for thou sands of European peasantry during the past year, while the various Africau colonies are growing decidedly by immi gration.. The different South American countries have been receiving large ac cessions of population from across the Atlantic. A few weeks ago a shipload of Irish emigrants sailed for the Argen tine Republic. In the last three years Argentine has welcomed upward of 350,- 000 European immigrants. Chili has now become a bidder for the surplus humanity of Europe and is sending her immigration agents abroad. For the United States these conditions are salu tary. The time has come for a period of assimilation of the millions of foreign born population lately arrived, and it may not be a bad thing to have a small portion of the European overflow diverted elsewhere for a while. Wash ington Star. • ■ —... The total number of United States pensioners of all classes receiving money from the Government at the close of the fiscal yea;-, June 30, 1688. w w 452.557. ORISKANY. MOST SANGUINARY CONFLICT OF THE REVOLUTION. The Desperate Valor of the Old Con tinentals Foils an Amhnscade —lndomitable Herkimer— The First Starry Banner. About two miles west of Oriskany, N. Y., writes John Fiske in the Atlantic Monthly , the road was crossed by a deep semi-circular ravite, concave toward the east. The bottom of this ravine was a swamp, across which the road was car ried by a causewav of logs, and the steep banks on either side were thicklwcovered with trees and underbrush. The prac ticed eye of Thayendanegea at once per ceived the rare advantage of such a position, and an ambuscade was soon prepared with a skill as deadly as that which once had wrecked the proud army of Braddock. * But this time it was a meeting of Greek with Greek, and the wiles of the savage chief were foiled by a desperate valor which nothing could overcome. By ten o’clock the main body of Herkimer’s army had descended into the ravine, followed by the wagons, while the rear guard was still ou the ris ing ground behind. At this moment they were greeted by a murderous volley from either side, while Johnson’s Greens “came charging down upon them in front, and the Indians, with frightful yells, swarmed in behind and cut off the rear guard, which was thus obliged to retreat to save itself. For a moment the main body was thrown into confusion, but it soon rallied and formed itself in a cir cle, which neither bayonet charges nor musket fire could break nor penetrate. The scene that ensued was one of the most infernal that the history of savage warfare has ever witnessed. The dark, ravine was filled with a mass of fifteen hundred human beings, screaming and cursing, slipping in the mire, pushing and struggling, seizing each other’s throats, stabbing, shooting and dashing out brains. Bodies of neighbors were afterward found lying iu the bog, where they had gone down in a death grapple, their cold hands still grasping the knive3 plunged iu each other’s hearts. Early in the fight a musket-ball slew Herkimer’s horse, and shattered his own leg just below the knee; but the old hero, nothing daunted, and bating noth ing of his coolness in the midst of the horrid struggle, had the saddle taken from his dead horse and placed at the foot of a great beech tree, where, taking his seat and lighting his pipe, he con tinued shouting his orders iu a stentorian voice and directing the progress of the battle. Nature presently enhanced the lurid horror of the scene. The heat of the August morning had been intoler able, and black thunder clouds, over hanging the deep ravine at the begin ning of the action, had enveloped it in a darkness like that of night. Now the rain came pouring in torrents, while gusts of wind howled through the tree tops, and sheets of lightning flashed in i quick succession, with a continuous roar of thunder that drowned the noise of the fray. The wet rifles could no longer be fired, but hatchet, kifife and bayonet carried on the work of butchery, until, after more than five hundred men had been killqd or wounded, the Indians gave way and fled in all directions, and the Tory soldiers, disconcerted, began to retreat up the western road, while the patriot army, remaining in possession of the hard-won field, felt itself too weak to pursue them. At this moment, as the storm cleared away, and long rays of sunshine began flickering through the wet leaves, the sound of the three signal-guns came booming through the air, and presently a sharp crackling of musketry was heard from the direction of Fort Stanwix. Startled by this omninous sound, tho Tories made all possible haste to join their own army, while the patriots, bear ing their wounded ou litters of green boughs, returned in sad procession to Oriskany. With their commander help less and more than one-third of their number slain or disabled, they were in no condition to engage in a fresh con flict, and unwillingly confessed that tho garrison of Fort Stanwix must be left to do its part of the work alone. Upon the arrival of the messengers, Colonel Ganse voort had at once taken in the whole sit uation. He understood the mysterious firing in the forest, saw that Herkimer must have been prematurely attacked, and ordered his sortie instantly, to serve as a diversion. The sortie was a brill ant success. Sir John Johnson, with his Tories and Indians, was completely routed and driven across the river. Colonel Marinas Willett took possession of his camp, and held it while seven wagons were three times unloaded in the fort. Among all this spoil, together with abundance of food and drink, blankets and clothes, tools and ammuni tion, the victors captured five British standards, and all Johnson’s papers, maps, and memoranda, containing full instructions for the proje ted campaign. After this useful exploit, Colonel Wil lett returned to the fort and hoisted the captured British standards, while over them he raised an uncouth flag, intended to represent the American stars and stripes, which Congress had adopted in June as the national banner. This rude flag, hastily extemporized out of white ihirt, an old blue jacket, and some strips of red cloth from the petticoat of a sol dier's wife, was the first American flag with stars and stripes that was ever hoisted, and it was first flung to the breeze on the memorable day of Oris kany, August 8, 1777. Of all the battles of the Revolution, this was perhaps the most obstinate and murderous. Each side seems to have lost not less than one-third of its whole number; and of those lost, nearly all were killed, as it was largely a hand to hand struggle, like the battles of ancient times, and no quarter was giver on either side. The number of surviving who were carried back to Oriskany* does not seem to have exceeded forty. Among these was the indomitable Herki mer, whose shattered leg was so unskill fully treated that he died a few days later, sitting in bed propped by pillows, calmly smoking his Dutch pipe and reading his Bible at the thirty-eighth Psalm. Bedford College, London, the oldest of the ladies’ colleges, is to be extended, owing to the increased demand for practical science teaching. The im provements will cost about $15,000. YESTERDAY -TO - DAY TO - MOR ROW. A blood-red rose for yesterday A lily for to morrow 1 Alas! to-day Is bare and gray, It fain must beg or borrow. To-day must beg of yesterday sweet memo ries as token That once my rose blushed red for joy, tho now its heart is broken. And of the wondrous coming day—tho lookod-for, fair to-morrow— To-day, from out the lily’s bud, a dream of hope must borrow. —Julie M. Lippmann, in Once a Wee’:. PITH ANB POINT. Bachelor of hearts—Cupid. The candle wick is up to snuff. An informer —A hotel architect. A hand-book —A work on palmistry. A man who drives away customers— jthe cabman. 1 A girl in the bloom of youth is gen erally a bud. 1 Sago advice to a cook cannot go much beyond turkey stuffing. “As green as grass” does not apply to tho “hey day” of youth. * All waiters die rich—that is, if success comes to those who wait. One may screw up his courage and have his attention riveted. There is a great deal’ of the spice of life in the work of the pastry cook. Why should oil producers ever grumble? They live on the fat of the land.—Sift ings. A soldier, who can only afford a pipe of clay, looks with envy on the sailor’s hornpipe. Mrs. Langtry, the actress, says she never carries any money, but she draws lots of it. A glass eye has one compensation— everybody else <au see through the de vice, if the wearer can’t.— Life. When a visiting nobleman signs him self “M. P.” it generally means “Mar riageable Peer.”— New York Sun. A man escapes death by shear luck when the Fates who hold the thread of life find their scissors too dull to cut it. New York Siln. A Texas editor sends a free paper to the banker of his village, in order that he can tell his friends he is going down to ‘ ‘meet his paper” at the bank.—Sift ings. First Shopping Fiend—“ Madam, that’s my muff!” Second Shopping Fiend—“ Why, how inexcusably stupid of me to pick up an imitation monkey skin 1” What nonsense it is for men in the shipping interests to talk of dull times, when it is so well known that there is always a boom in shipping.— New York News. • Jones—“ Say, how much did Packer clear by that last speculation of hist” Smith—“ Cleared out all his relatives and most of his friends, and now he has cleared the town.” And it is true that while kisses are more plentiful than diamonds or rubies, man will often deny himself more to se cure the former than a gem of purest ray serene.— New York Herald. The “confidence lay” is to winningly speak, The “lay” of the tramp is to beg, The “lay” of the thief is tho “jimmy” or i *SD6Q.k Tho “lay” of the hen is the egg. —Merchant Traveler. Mrs. Her way—“ Dear me, I’m getting bo stout. Do you think I could manage a tricycle, Charley?* Mr. Ilerway (mar ried three years)—“Manage a tricycle, my love? You can manage anything.” Miss Caterer—“ Mr. Sheer, you seem to he in a very solemn mood this morn ing.” Mr. Slicer (dissecting an alleged sirloin) —“Yes’m! My mind is wander ing back to the days of the Christian martyrs; I am recalling all their suffer ings at the stake.” When the receiver of stolen goods was brought before the court, he as sured the Judge that the reception was entirely informal. His honor accepted the explanation with true courtesy, and informed the receiver that his scntcnco of five years in the State Prison was a mere matter of routine.— Boston Tran script. She was seven, I was nine, I loved her madly—and she know it; I knelt and begged her to be m ne, She said she really couldn’t do it. At thirty-eight her hair is gray. Her roses brighter bloom than ever; To-morrow is our weddin j day; —’Xis late, but better lata than never. — Munseij's Weekly. An Englishman named St. John has been traveling in tho West. lie got so tired explaining to every one that his name was pronounced “Sinjun” that he finally hired a man to do it for him, and at lost accounts the man had got into six fights with groveling hotel clerks, who tried to persuade him that ha didn’t know how to pronounce his em ployer’s name.— New York Tribune. He was a bagger all the time, As he his way was pegging; The cops thought he might do some crime, bo, took him up for begging. The Judge then took him down a peg With, "I’ll send you to work hard, John ” The beggar then continued to beg ’ Baying, “Judge, I bag your pardon/’ —Goodall's Sun. Why tho Tooth Chatter. It i 3 through the skin, and only rnrough the skin, that we receive sensa lions of temperature. The chattering of the teeth from the feeling of cold is caused by what is termed reflex action 3i the muscles of the jaw. When au impression is made on the sensitive rnrface of the skin it is conveyed by qn sxcitor nerve to the spinal cord, and is -hero reflected back on the muscles by a corresponding motor nerve, the action being involuntary, like that of anv other mechanism. Chattering of the teeth, as tvell as shivering and sneezing, is nature’s suort to restore the circulation of tho blood which lias accumulated ia tho larger near the heart. An Innkeeper Victimized. The publican who had tho following for a sign; “Try my dinners; they can’t be beat,” victimized by a customer, who evi dently did not relish them, for by wip !aff ou £ the initial of the final word ho made the annoucement read: “Try ay dioners; they can’t bo oat’* i